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Reviews For Jingle All the Way

Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 07:14 AM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Jingle All the Way Chapter: Chapter 8: He Got Into a Drifted Bank

Hey Nicole,

 

I’m back to leave you another review for the Magical Menagerie event on the forums. So I didn’t realize there were still more chapters to go. I hope you post them soon because I need to know what happens to Christmas! I’ll be so furious if it is ruined by that selfish Gracie git!

 

Wow. That fog was pretty scary. I have to wonder if it was something similar to dementors. It seemed to sort of behave similarly, except it isn’t the scariest moments, but perhaps the most painful ones if that makes sense? I mean why else would Dennis imagine Colin and his family happily watching Christmas shows?

 

I’m glad Marietta went back for Colin. I know what she did to the DA was distasteful, but I definitely don’t imagine her being so awful that she’d leave Dennis stranded out in the snow, confused and lost.

 

Oh yay! Millie is back! I bet she’s livid about all that transpired. I actually half suspect her of notifying the Ministry of the illegal sleigh racing. That seems like a convenient way to get Gracie out of the way. It does cause quite the conundrum that they lost the sleigh though. Maybe Colin and Marietta will deliver the presents? Maybe they’ll become friends over the crazy present delivery? Yes, I like that idea.

 

Good work! I’ll definitely check back for more chapters in a few days! I just have to know how this ends. 

 

~Kaitlin 

 

 



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 07:01 AM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Jingle All the Way Chapter: Chapter 7: A Sleighing Song Tonight

Hey Nicole,

 

I’m back to leave you another review for the Magical Menagerie event on the forums. Ooh. Just one more chapter to go. What will happen?! 

 

Well, at least Dennis and Marietta seem to have bonded over their mutual terror at almost dying by landslide in a sleighing accident. I imagine between the slamming sleighs and the terrifying cliffs, they must be pretty well shook up.

 

That move that Gracie pulled on Rai was pretty dirty. I mean she could’ve seriously hurt someone like that. I’m glad Millie isn’t there to see it.

 

It’s cool that they’re seeing the northern lights though. I had the chance to see them for the first time a couple of months ago and they are pretty mesmerizing. I’m sure that’s a small comfort with the horror of the race occurring around Marietta and Dennis though.

 

Glad Marietta remembered that cushioning spell. Otherwise, that landing would’ve been quite rough. 

 

I’m off to the last chapter now! I sure hope this has a happy ending. I don’t think I can take Dennis or Marietta being maimed. 

 

Good work!

 

~Kaitlin 

 

 



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 06:40 AM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Jingle All the Way Chapter: Chapter 6: Oh, What Sport to Ride and Sing

Hey Nicole,

 

I’m back to leave you another review for the Magical Menagerie event on the forums. This story has been very entertaining so far and I’m excited to see where it goes next!

 

Oh dear! I feel like Millie is in the right here. It’s highly irresponsible for Gracie to endanger her employees and business with illegal activities. It’s sad to think that she just doesn’t even care. To her, the business is an inconvenience and Millie can worry about cleaning up the fallout. I found Gracie’s threats infuriating. She has zero respect for Millie.

 

I find it odd that she picked Dennis and Marietta to ride in her sleigh. I would think she’d want people who were having fun and enjoying the party. Maybe she thinks humans are stronger than elves and more capable of holding on at high speeds. 

 

I have a feeling that something is going to go horribly wrong with this sleigh ride. I hope I’m incorrect, but I feel like there’s going to be some sort of accident. Or maybe this sleigh ride will bring Dennis and Marietta together? Who knows?

 

All in all, this story has been very captivating so far. I’ll be curious to see how you finish it off. 

 

Good work!

 

~Kaitlin 

 

 



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 06:19 AM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Jingle All the Way Chapter: Chapter 5: Laughing All the Way

Hey Nicole!

 

I'm back with a review for the Magical Menagerie event over on the forums! After the very intriguing last chapter I couldn't resist coming back for more.

 

Aww. The elves are so cute trying to get Dennis to drink and loosen up. I think I'd love to go to a party with house elves. That's an interesting factoid about the Mister and Missus thing. I like that for the elves it doesn't really mean anything, but is just an effort to make the humans feel comfortable.

 

I figured this moment with Marietta and Dennis was coming eventually. I figured that he must remember at least the stories of her and I imagined she must've remembered Colin snapping photos. It's too bad they couldn't talk about their mutual dislike of their school memories instead of shouting hurtful things at each other.

 

It's so sad that Dennis has such a hard time enjoying anything. He seems like such a miserable person. I just want to give him a hug.

 

Uh oh. The sleigh racing sounds really cool, but I feel like there's some possibly bad implications for the company if anything goes wrong. I hope for Millie's sake that everything works out without issue. I don't think she can handle anymore stress two nights before Christmas than she's already under.

 

Good work on this! I'll be back for more ASAP!

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 06:00 AM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Jingle All the Way Chapter: Chapter 4: Go It While You're Young

Hey Nicole!

 

I'm back with a review for the Magical Menagerie event over on the forums! After the very intriguing last chapter I couldn't resist coming back for more.

 

Ooh. This is very interesting. Very interesting indeed. So Colin wrote to Givemore somehow before he knew he was a wizard. Or does this mean that he knew he was a wizard before he was supposed to? This seems like it's going to turn into quite the mystery.

 

Ah. That's a clever charm to have any letter with the Givesmore name tracked and sent to them. That makes sense then that Colin had sent it to them.

 

Wow. Grace Givesmore is an unusual character. She doesn't seem particularly fussed about the business or about what the elves want. It seems that she views this Christmas party as an opportunity to gloat to friends. And it's pretty inconsiderate to do it right before Christmas when she knows everyone is incredibly busy and working hard. She must be up to something.

 

I like that both Marietta and Dennis are equally anti-social. It's like Grace expects everyone to be charmed by her and instead she receives disdain. I get the impression that everyone realizes that she's not throwing this party for their well being.

 

Good work on this! I'll be back for more ASAP!

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 05:37 AM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Jingle All the Way Chapter: Chapter 3: Misfortune Seemed His Lot

Hey Nicole!

 

I'm back with a review for the Magical Menagerie event over on the forums! After the very intriguing last chapter I couldn't resist coming back for more.

 

Ah. It seems that both Dennis and Marietta have something in common besides just their time at Hogwarts. It seems they both left it on sort of bad terms. Obviously, Marietta left after having been horribly shamed by the other students and Dennis left after his brother was killed in the battle. Funny how they both ended up at this job.

 

I liked that Dennis stopped to ask Marietta how she was doing. It seems that she's not actually doing all that well and I'm sure she probably needs someone to care about her in life. I hope they are able to build at least some semblance of a friendship.

 

The accident sounded terrifying. I can't imagine being picked up and tossed by a crazy mechanical ballerina. Dennis is lucky that he's okay.

 

I like the addition of the ER department. No one ever likes dealing with ER/HR, so I thought you captured that feeling very well. Of course, he'd have to deal with a ton of paperwork for his visit too. It's all very formal and official.

 

Good work on this! I'll be back for more ASAP!

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 04:54 AM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Jingle All the Way Chapter: Chapter 2: Thought I'd Take a Ride

Hey Nicole!

 

I'm back with a review for the Magical Menagerie event over on the forums! After the very intriguing last chapter I couldn't resist coming back for more.

 

The setup for this is very interesting. I love the way you've written the Eleventh! She's such an interesting house elf, very counter to everything we see of Dobby and some of the other house elves in the books. It's interesting to see a freed elf, who unlike Dobby, didn't want to be freed. She's so bitter and resentful, but she's actually allowed to express that resentment and anger as opposed to before when she could never speak bad about her master.

 

Ooh. This is very intriguing that Marietta Edgecombe works at the same company. I would've never expected to find her there. It's kind of sad to think of how messed up her face still is and how she's forced to wear tons of makeup to cover it up. I mean I know she ratted everyone out, but she was a scared kid at the time and it's a bit tough to think of her being permanently disfigured. (Reminder that no one should ever piss Hermione off because that witch has some nasty tricks up her sleeves.) It's also a bit sad to think of her having let herself go with worn out robes and unkempt hair.

 

I find it a bit odd that Dennis doesn't remember who she is, but then I do suppose he was a bit younger, so that's understandable. It's probably going to be fairly awkward when he realizes who she is and what happened. I wonder how they will both react.

 

Good work on this! I'll be back for more ASAP!

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 03:21 AM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Jingle All the Way Chapter: Chapter 1: Making Spirits Bright

Hey Nicole!

 

I'm here with a review for the Magical Menagerie event over on the forums! I happened to see this in the recently posted stories listing and thought I'd give it a shot.  

 

So one thing that I always love about your writing is that you come up with such creative details for your stories. I'm only a few paragraphs in, but already that shows in the way you describe the building. You almost give it it's own personality and make it a character within the story. I have to say imagining the door fading away and the boardroom with the super long table had a sort of disorienting feeling. It really helped ground me in how Dennis himself must've felt as he entered.

 

Ooh. How interesting that it's an elf running Givesmore Enterprises. I love how you've flipped the need to please wizards on its head by making the elf in charge of a company that makes little wizards dreams come true. Very clever.

 

The scene at home with Dennis and his family has a very haunting quality to it. I mean it seems very normal, but you can really feel the gaping hole left by Colin no longer being there. It must be very tough for someone like Dennis to feel like he's being held up to this impossible standard of a martyred brother. Made even tougher by the fact that he can't really share much of his life with his parents. I thought you conveyed the sort of despair that permeated the home really well.

 

Good work on this! I'll be back for more ASAP!

 

~Kaitlin




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