Hi! Finally, I could reach to your Astoria. Thank you for twittering your swap offer. As I recognized you wrote the ship, Draco and Astoria, I had a plan to stop by, however my real life prevented me from it. So it was a good timing you offered this review swap.
I am jealous of your Astoria. She was sorted to Gryffindor House not Slytherin, nor Hufflepuff. (Me, Pottermore always sorted as a Hufflepuff. Haha.) Most of the authors I have read, wrote her as a Slytherin or a Hufflepuff. So your style of writing her is new to me. It's sad to imagine her friends died after she encouraged them to fight back at the battle of Hogwarts, the worse was that only she survived. You set Draco, who also had struggled to find his place after the war, to comfort her both mentally and physically (mainly from their needs) and to my surprise, they turned to be just twenties, how young! You wrote Astoria's youth and her desperate and chaotic state, drunken almost days with alcohol, which let her grandmum worry. I got relieved to know they stopped before the situation would get more serious.
It's impressive to read the scene, Draco was present at Astoria's uncle's funeral to make sure he was dead after practicing Crucio against Draco. And then he tried to be her friend, which attracts the readers' attention. You used his smile effectively here and there, which indicates Astoria will come to like and love him more.
All in all, time passes gently and passionately between these two people, I read your story feeling like as if I could watch the film, your writing style is very artistic just like your dark arts you create. :)
Heya, Kris! I'm here for our review swap and April EvS! #TeamSilver
I love how all your universes tie together and that there are nods to lionheart in this, even though this was written first. Plus, being able to see a bit more of Alexander Greengrass [even just a brief glimpse] made me happy -- nutrality in the war may make him more guilty than if he had chosen a side. Also, the entire opening scene was an awesome glimpse into Pureblood society in your 'Verse. I think that the cold behavior at the funeral (whether it be "putting on a face" or general disinterest, & only going because they're obligated to do so) says a lot about how the Pureblood society works. There seems to be a distinct lack of empathy for the man, especially from Astoria (but, of course, he was a Death Eater).
Aye, and there's so much in what follows next! Obviously, as a former Death Eater, Draco Malfoy isn't exactly what Astoria is probably looking for in companionship, but as she said, he'll have to do given the rest of the company at the funeral. The pure amount of desperation and need in their snogging and then, erm, sexy time session is almost overwhelming (in a good way). I especially love that she needs to forcibly ignore his Dark Mark to do...what she wants to do -- as it's acting as a reminder of the people who slaughtered all of her friends, scarred her, and killed many, many innocent people. Which is why, once her needs are fulfilled, it totally makes sense that she'd just leave, not proud of what she'd done but needing it in the moment. And although I can't see Draco's perspective on this, contextually it seems like he needed it as much as she did.
Understandably, Astoria wouldn't want to be alone with her thoughts on New Year's Eve, especially given that those thoughts are of the muder of all of her friends. Just as understandably, Draco's shocked when he learns about this after he opens his big mouth. You seemed pretty into it a month ago. The absolute cheek on him! Despite being virtual strangers, I love that they keep falling together in their lonliness, because they must be just as lonely as the other, with Astoria's friends being gone and Draco being a virutal outcast for being a former Death Eater. There are very few stories in which I can firmly say that I like Draco Malfoy, and yet you've done it here. I mean, it usually does come in stories post-war, with Astoria...there's sometihng incredibly attractive about the ship during this period -- all the regrets and angst mixed in. Besides, I mean, "I can be your friend." my heart just melted! I can't!
I know I said it in lionheartbut I love that Astoria dad's a crimelord, doing his secret bidding. There's so much more I want to know about Alexander Greengrass -- I'm desperate! Also, I feel like the pair of them need to sit down and talk about what happened during the war...I think they'd' both benefit from getting to know each other a little better. Which, it appears that they may, in fact, do just that, and I'm estatic that they're going to be friends (even if it's "without beneifits"), haha! And the scene with Draco going on about Teddy is so sweet -- I'm happy to see that Astoria is realizing why Draco did what he'd done a bit. I can see how Daphne has concerns (she is his ex, after all, and he isa former death eater), but that whole bit with Astoria being able to summon her patronus because Draco makes her feel alive again, and the whole I'll teach you -- honestly it's a squee-fest. I'm sailing this ship.
Ahh when do we get to read the story about Astoria nearly being killed in the Balkias!? I'm ready! Ugh, this whole ending scene with Draco and Astoria celebrating Astoria's birthday together and the whole I think I'm falling in love with you is just perfect. Plus, the way that Astoria keeps resisting her feelings until she finally explodes and talks to him, and then they're going to be a mess and chaotic together...ahhh it's awesome! I love it so much!
Another amazing job! Thanks for the swap!
Ahhhh, starbuck, this was absolutely beautiful!
It is wonderfully written, and I could feel the pain and self-loathing Astoria was experiencing. The chemistry and sexual tension between her and Draco is just bright and glorious! I loved how you showed their relationship developing over time, it didn't feel rushed and you can just feel the battle she's having inside herself. Got to love Draco for being persistent but also patient, he won my heart in this.
Your Drastoria complement each other (I dig Astoria as a Gryffindor!) and the final line about them being chaotic and broken together was gorgeous! I loved this so much, thank you for sharing with me :) xox
omg, i'm so glad you liked it!
i tried to sort of foreshadow the reveal that it was astoria who convinced her friends to fight in the battle of hogwarts and how much she hates herself for it but do it in a way that's not too obviou. so she's got a drinking problem or at least, she likes to get drunk to forget things and/or just so she doesn't have to deal with things, she also has casual sex with draco because she's feeling desperate, she loves the adrenaline of working for her father because it means she doesn't have to think too much...it's little things that ultimately add up as to the reason why she's feeling like that. so i'm glad you could feel it with her! ^_^
thank you so much for the lovely review!
Hi Kristina! I'm here with your requested review!
Yep, good first line. I'm sold. Hooked. It's done.
This is such a strong beginning. Not only is your writing so lovely--really clear and distinct and engaging--but I love this introduction to the Greengrass family. It takes no time for me to get a grasp on the characters, and I love how strong they feel they need to be, despite those who would love to see the family crack under pressure, and those who are there to try and make a profit from her uncle's death.
The language you use throughout this piece is so dark and it really creates this haunting, bleak atmosphere that I'm really enjoying.
I am absolutely living for the tension between Astoria and Draco (their dialogue is so natural and realistic, too) and I'm secretly squealing throughout that scene because I absolutely love it omg. There's just so much emotion and passion in not only that scene but in the story so far! From a funeral to drunken sex at a party... it's just amazing. The club is also an extremely vibrant place - I loved reading about it!
I also love that Astoria was in Gryffindor! I'm not sure I've seen that take on her before, but I think it's great, and definitely believable!
"We've been in each other's orbit for years and I have no clue who Draco Malfoy actually is." How realistic is this?! I think everyone has come across this sort of person over the years, especially during their school years. I love how believable this is.
Man, I can't say I've ever been ooooverly attracted to Draco Malfoy, but you, madam, are changing my mind. Whew, I need a glass of water. I love how he seems to know what she wants, how he provides some relief from the stifling presence that is her family. And those little notes? Ahh I just want to hug him! And how he slowly becomes at the forefront of all of Astoria's thoughts, and how he's the first one she wants to tell about something that happened... It's just the cutest! I ship it so hard. I love this organically developed relationship.
I also love (there's a lot I love about this story :P) all the new names to bands and clubs and so on. I love hearing what other people come up with. It makes an already bright Wizarding World even more vibrant.
I've read many Astoria stories and I have to say that your characterisation is one of my favourites.
"Would you rather own a dragon or a sphinx?" Draaaaaagon! I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a certain dragon movie on in front of me right now :P
SHE THOUGHT ABOUT HIM AND CONJURED A PATRONUS KRIS I AM DYING
Ahh this was so amazing! I'm so happy I read it, I really, really enjoyed it. Your Astoria and Draco are so alive on the page (screen?) and I loved watching their relationship develop, and their tension and emotions were so tangible. I loved watching Astoria slowly let herself love and be happy, even if she'll never truly be so okay on the inside after all she's been through, but the story ended on such a hopeful note. I hope you write more of them in the future, and let me know when you do!
hey bianca! i've finally found the time to properly respond to this...awesome and amazing review that made my day instead of just re-reading it when i'm feeling down (other people do this, right?).
i'm so so glad oyu like the first line! it's actually the thing that started this whole story - it came to me when i was watching medici: masters of florence - the series starts with a funeral and it just hit me....and then the story sort of just unrolled from there and accidentally became an 8k monster-story.
the greengrasses are people i would love to write more about, especially the criminal empire side of things because i just really liked the idea of them being neutral and dealing with everyone during the wizarding wars, with alexander being extremely smart and slytherin-y and managing to survive. the family is strong and then you have astoria who is strong in a different way that ultimately led to her being....a tiny bit (er, not so tiny) broken. and so she feels very distanced from her whole family, not just because they might not share her values, but because they don't let anything crack them and show they're hurt, whereas she's barely keeping it together, sometimes self-medicating with alcohol and so on. her grandmother lost her son and she doesn't even seem flustered.
haha, you really made me smile with not being attracted to draco....i did try my best to sort of keep the personality we know but also show he's changing. i didn't like him all that much up until the end of HBP and DH - even with JKR not going too much into malfoy family dynamics, what she did show us was really something i liked. they would literally do anything for each other, they all loved each other and they were all scared. and they might not have made the right choices but ultimately, at least narcissa and draco, tried to...be better people. so having draco become close with teddy and andromeda was also something i wanted to incorporate, to show how much he cares for family...so when he befriends (sort of) astoria, he wouldn't want to drive her away. and he's extremely good at reading people (he always knew how to best hurt someone <.<).
inventing new names and stuff for the wizarding world is one of my favourite things to do when i'm writing fanfics! the howler is a club i previously invented in the art of being nonchalant and at some point i decided to keep all of my stories (except edge of oblivion) in the same universe so i liked the idea of reusing it here. but in TAOBN i also made up a lot of other stuff (new bands, diagon alley shops, new brooms....) - it was very fun!
thank you for such a lovely review, it literally makes me warm and fuzzy inside <3
Heyyyy!! So super congratulations on your FROG for this story, first of all ;) It's super, super well deserved!
One of the things which I love when people explore it in stories is the kind of trauma people go through after things like the wars in canon - for a long time in fic it was so rare to see something which actually portrayed anything like ptsd or trauma or struggling to cope with something difficult in a genuine, serious, thoughtful way, so it's so lovely to see a whole bunch of stories - including this one - bringing that out. And you just do it so so well. The way they're broken and how reckless Astoria is, how she doesn't think before doing things (like, er, Draco :P), how she's got so many self-destructive habits - the sniping at Draco about his Death Eater past, the drinking - how they just don't talk about the war and what happened, despite their friendship. It's so true to life and it's so sad, but I like how it ends without the issues being resolved, but with them almost resolving to try to deal with them. It's a bittersweet, hopeful sort of ending which I love.
I love how you write Astoria and Draco and, well, all of her family. They all come across as such fully-formed, fascinating characters and I wanna know more about all of them. I like how they're involved in so much shady business, but her father didn't pick sides, how her mother is so loyal even to her murderer of a brother, how her grandmother's so cold and composed - obsessed with image - how Daphne cares, but is almost too blunt and too sensible for Astoria to cope with. There's such a brilliant dynamic between them all - all the Greengrasses - and it contrasts so well to the kind of relaxed, easy-going (ish) friendship/relationship she strikes up with Draco, where image is nothing and they can just be themselves, whoever they are and whatever that means.
I lovelovelove your writing in this. The details omigosh. There are so many details and they're so precise and they bring this whole story to life so completely. It feels immersive, yk? Everything from the glimpses of the pureblood society - the obsession with image, the mentions of all those family ties - to the bits about the war and the aftermath of it - Draco getting the war hero award, helping to track down escaped Death Eaters, Astoria's friends and how they all died, how Astoria's uncle tortured Draco... it just, it creates this whole complete universe in itself, and it's so rich. The description is so beautiful and your dialogue is amazing - it's just so so good, really.
I just gotta say as well that I love woods so like, describing Draco continuously as smelling like woods was somewhat distracting for me :P
I really, really hope you write more in this universe because it's incredible.
Hey Kris. Here for your requested review!
Drastoria is one of those couples that I'd never given much attention to until I did, and I ship them so hard right now it's not even funny. I particularly liked that you portrayed both Draco and Astoria close to the way I see them, and how the story progressed naturally and so in tune to how I feel their connection really is and develops.
it's always hard to give feedback in regards to Astoria's characterization given that she's one of those characters e know practically nothing about, yet I'll say that how liked her strength despite the horrible things she's been through. Her voice is very present and her own, and I like that she doesn't take anyone's sh*t, not even Draco's.
If you ever decide to write a follow-up on this story, hit me up. I'd love to read it :)
hey susana :D
aw, yeah, i know what you mean - i love a good drastoria, it's one of my OTPs :P the progression of their relationship is definitely something i was...slightly worried about. but they're both lonely and end up needing each other that at the same time it didn't feel off while i was writing it :)
astoria is someone who would never just let things be. she's one of those people that would remove a scab before it heals just because it bothers her :P and it's often at her own expense but it also means she's like...someone who would break before she would bend - not sure how better to describe her. and all the horrible things she's been through haven't completely broken her yet but she does realise she can't quite deal with it on her own. so she lets draco into her life, against her judgement.
thanks for the lovely review!
starting off the story with the funeral was a really strong way to introduce the characters and show the type of people they truly are. The imagery you create surrounding the funeral really drew me in right away, and helped me feel like I really was there.
You write a very strong Astoria and I feel like this is exactly how she would be. She knows her family so well, nothing they can pull would ever surprise her because she has them pegged to a T. Their dynamic as a family is interesting and it explains a lot about her and why she would end up being the way she is.
the electric current between Astoria and Draco makes me happy, he truly does deserve to find passion, and love. The poor kids been through a lot. Reading about her first impressions of him really sound quite plausible, that even she felt herself to be better the Draco Malfoy, him being a (former) death eater and her feeling ashamed of the member of her family who was sworn to Voldemort.
You are such a great writer! I love how you describe how she sees Draco, the magnitude that she feels towards him, I think that’s really such beautiful way to describe a budding romance no matter how it began.
I loved that line “only the pretty gryffindor ones” LOVE IT okay... fan girl over here again. Honestly this story is the one I should have nom’d unfortunately I only read it now!
Reading about how they become friends and get to know each other on intimate levels without the need for physical intimacy was pure gold. Sure they had slept together a couple times but the letters?! That is amazing. I love that!
I love a good friends turn to lovers or maybe it’s lovers turn to friends then to both? I’m not quite sure but their friendship, it was so great, and I love how despite her sister earning her that’s draco is bad news in the end it’s Astoria who believes she’s bad for Draco, that she will fuck him up. And what he said to her honestly had me swooning.
“I’m not letting you go. We’re going to be chaotic and messy and broken together.”
Best line ever! Like ever ever. I love how you write Draco. And I love how she sees Draco. That there is some amazing love. Thank you for writing about how Astoria and Draco found love, I have a new appreciation for their love and I love her.
Just in general she is such a real and great character. I truly love how you write your MCs. Honestly had I read this before TAOBN I probably would have nom’d this one.
Amazing job. Amazing story. Amazing author ❤️
Hey Kris, here with your requested review!
So first, I wanted to say that I really really liked your characterizations of Draco and Astoria! I think they're really different than what I usually read of the two of them (and defintely different than how I usually picture the two of them). I thought it was definitely realistic though- the two of them seem definitely hardened from the war and it's made them a good match for each other. They're able to be their true selves with each other and not have to hide things!
Astoria as a crime lord is AMAZING! It's such a fun take, so interesting and unique. I would literally read a million things about her as a crime lord, just reigning over everything (and it's not only because i'm writing my own story about a crime lord, shameless self promo lol).
The progression of Draco and Astoria's relationship seemed to flow so naturally and I thought you did really well with progressing it! It started off so heated but then how it calms down to friendship with such great banter was awesome. I loved this ending too, them giving into things again like they can't help it. But they know neither of them are perfect and that this may not be the easiest thing, but that the two of them are so good together. I love that one line about him not bringing out the best in her, but bringing out everything in her! I think that's so important and a really key line for the two of them! Great work Kris!
hey sarah! :D
i'm so glad you thought that both of them were realistic (especially draco since he's a canon character and i worry about going OOC with those...astoria is a bit easier since she's basically an OC) - i wanted to portray them as people who really don't have it in them to pretend about stuff anymore, especially after the war and everything...because who has the energy for that after surviving something so horrible? that they allow each other to be kinda broken and still care about each other was a headcanon i've had for a long time and it's cool that other people think it's realistic :)
well, she's not a crime lord yet, more of a consigliere or something like that anyway, to her father. i've always loved the godfather and the idea of a criminal organisations in the wizarding world because you can do so much stuff with a black market and knockturn alley fascinated me ever since we first read about it in the chamber of secrets - it's basically one big black market (sort of) that the ministry knows about and seemingly ignores...so i wanted to make the greengrass family people who weren't associated with either side but dealt with both and survived both wizarding wars (and even grindelwald before that) by being sneaky and criminal. so alexander, astoria's father, really hates that he has to go to his wife's brother's funeral but it was his own fault for marrying a rosier i guess hahah :P and astoria is in such a place in her life that the thrill of her father's job and the adventure gives her something to occupy her mind instead of wallowing in self pity all the time. and she finds out she's good at it...after i wrote this i was itching to just write about her job hhaha but i haven't had the time yet :P
thank you for this amazing review - i'm really glad you liked the story and their relationship!
let me start this coherently:
Hi, I'm here for the EvS review battle (go Silver) and because it's not something you've posted until I've gone ahead and screamed about it for six hours straight.
I honestly didn't ship Drastoria that hard but... go off I guess. I literally learnt you were gonna be writing this from twitter and I started painting drastoria banners in my basement listening to drastoria mixtapes with drastoria pinterest boards in the background.
And yet here I am. Boutta cry over them.
Every single time you write something new, you outdo yourself Kris.
I really, honestly, love this entire thing. It’s just … gorgeous.
Personal faves include the first line,
“I want to run away from myself, not to be left alone”
THE WHOLE PATRONUS THING???? im weak
& “I guess that means we can’t touch”
+ I love how Astoria is in Gryffindor and her house pride.
Just AHFGAKJFAS:FJA:OFPKAW this is so cute I nearly cried and as always, it’s beautiful.
Hi Kris! Back for the swap :D
As usual, this is an amazing piece. First of all, I LOVE the face claims! I think they work better for the story. Secondly, I love what you've done with the characters. Daco's raggedness, Astoria's involvement in the war, her being a Gryffindor, the way she handles the aftermath, it's all perfect. I think this story is canon for me now. That's it. This is how they ended up with Scorpius <3
One interesting thing is that I've also incorporated Daphne and Astoria in the whole "Designer clothing" setting in one of my fics, so it seems we think alike :D
You prose and writing in general is amazing as always. I love how the scene and the words flow without breaking the mood of the story. It's amazing really because I can never pull that off.
I really hope you write more of these in the post-war setting. What do you think Zabini, Marcus and them would have done? Would love to know your outlook.
As always, it's lovely reading your stuff <3
Here for our swap, dear! :)
Wow! This was such a rollercoaster! And your writing is just so good here! Your style is so lovely, captivating, with stunning descriptions... so, so good!
I felt so bad for Astoria, especially at the end, when she confesses her guilt for the friends she lost... like, it's not really her fault and it's the way survivors often feel, but I can see where she's coming from and it makes me so sad... :(
(Btw, I never saw Astoria sorted in Gryffindor and best friend with Colin Creevey... it's a little bit sad, too, but also kind of sweet...)
I felt so bad for Draco, too. While he has a lot of flaws, I can't blame him for his role in the war. I do believe that a lot of what he did, he did because of loyalty to his family. Also, he was only a kid who was trying to survive (and Astoria was probably not so different...) I love the idea that Narcissa and Andromeda reconciled after the war (it's my headcanon, too) and that Draco would be so fond of little Teddy (I so love that idea as well).
Their relationship... it's turbulent and it's crazy and it's perfect! I love how it all started so instinctive and then turned into a friendship and then turned into love. I can totally imagine it evolve that way! Draco doesn't bring out the best in me, he's addictive, absolutely intoxicating, he brings out everything in me, the good and the bad, the chaos, and he takes me in fully, without reservation, and I can't help myself but to let him accept me as I am. I love this line, it's so good and expresses their bond so well. And that final hug was just so emotional and... aww... I'm just so glad that they have each other because they so obviously need it!
I'm quite sure there are at least a thousand other things I should comment on, but I can't think of them right now and it's starting to get late and my mind is starting to feel too tired... but just know that this was so insanely good and that I loved reading it! Your characterization was absolutely delicious and your writing stunning! I loved every single word of this!
Thank you so much for the swap!
Hello Kristina, here to leave the review that you requested on the forums!
I, um, have a lot to say about this, I hope you don’t mind if I stray all over the place here.
So, the prose immediately struck me as excellent. Really, you pulled me in from the first line, because honestly who wouldn’t be interested to see where you’re going after that?
You’ve dropped us into a very complicated scene from the very beginning. A funeral for a Death Eater, attended by someone who is glad he’s dead. The family dynamic is clear from the very beginning, as you introduce it through small details that give us a pretty good idea of where these people stand. Especially with the line - “Alexander Greengrass did not stay alive through two wars by doing something as absurd as choosing a side” - I mean, what a way to introduce a character.
I’m very intrigued by the assortment of people attending the service, and also by the fact that Astoria’s mother is related to a Rosier! Pureblood families do tend to overlap that way, lol.
I love how aggressively Astoria despises Death Eaters. That’s also my headcanon, but you’ve place her in Gryffindor, which I don’t believe I’ve ever seen before. It fits in very well with the way you’ve written her and the idea that being a Lion, she likely would have seen a good amount of housemates die in the Battle of Hogwarts. The way she insists that it’d be cowardly to forget the memories that have made her stronger. (or so she tells herself.)
You write her first encounter with Draco so well, by the end of the first scene I’m already rooting for them to get together despite not particularly shipping them usually. Your Draco is a delight, you can feel the ways he’s changed already in only a few years, but there is still plenty of who he is still there. Frankly, I understand why she went ahead with it in the first place.
The idea of mood enhancing fog actually made up stand up and take a second because I was floored. I felt like I should have come up with that with all the stuff I invent, considering like eighty percent of scenes I write take place in bars or clubs. But alas, that’s your genius at work, not mine :P
I also had to take a little bit to go get a water and sit with my thoughts after I read “My friends are dead” - just a showstopper of a line. The vulnerability of that line and her admission of loneliness are exactly why this story works so well. She’s clearly in a bit of a state here and Draco is being such a good listener and he’s charming and it’s helped along by a bit of alcohol - both of the times they get together so far have felt earned and plausible.
Astoria’s dad being a crime lord is just incredible. It’s nice to see some shady stuff that isn’t directly linked to Voldemort because there’s SO much room for corruption and law-breaking when magic is involved. The fact that she launders his money is just kind of...awesome? I’d read a story just about how she got caught up in all of that.
(Also, her being friends with Colin is something that I simply never knew I needed but now love)
Once we’re to the point of Draco sending one-liners through owl post I’m ready for the wedding, I totally recognise this ‘just friends’ thing where one or both people are so obviously in denial and you’ve nailed it on the head. I can’t claim that I didn’t tear up when Draco told her about Teddy. I never seem to be able to remember that they are related but wow, my heart.
I like Daphne’s scene with Astoria because her reaction is extremely reasonable because honestly it would sound ridiculous from the outside looking in. If I hadn’t been privy to their interactions I’d tell Astoria to run far away as well, so I get it. I also get why Astoria completely tunes out her sister. That was a great bit of conflict in which no one is totally wrong and you can see where both parties are coming from.
Astoria totally strikes me as the sort of person that wouldn’t announce their birthday ahead of time. The way they finally start to discuss the elephant in the room - “Because then I’d have to demonstrate a level of self-control that I don’t possess” is just perfect. Couldn’t have been any better. Despite this being only a chapter long, you’ve taken us on quite a journey with these two and, as you asked about how believable the progression of their relationship is, I have to say, every moment felt ripped from a story one of my friends might have told me. It was so realistic that this is one of those stories that afterward, you’re left with a bit of a ‘Well, what now?’ feeling because you just want your friend to call you next week and fill you in on how things are going.
Astoria’s characterization is wildly unique and very consistent. When she admits that she is the one to have convinced her friends to stay and fight and harbors that guilt so deeply, everything that happened throughout the entire story clicked into place perfectly. It all fits together and it all makes so much sense. You’ve really crafted a protagonist that feels very much alive, in the best way possible.
I...can’t really praise you enough. This is FROGS worthy writing through and through and I can’t find it in me to criticise a thing here. The ending line alone is one of my favorite things I’ve read in so long - “I’m not letting you go. We’re going to be chaotic and messy and broken together” - I’m so glad it ended there. That is the prose equivalent of an exclamation point if I’ve ever seen one. I am so glad you requested this, this is exactly the kind of thing I hoped my thread would introduce me to. Such beautiful writing, I’m floored. I feel like I could go on even longer, but I’ll end this rambling mess here. Feel absolutely free to come back and request another review for anything at all!
oh my god joey
i literally teared up at your review, at work, in front of my coworkers and they actually asked me if everything was alright with me...so it was an awkward situation but still omg, i can't thank you enough for this review - it's just so beautiful and i'm in awe that you thought so highly of this story and my writing. english is my second language and to be complimented on my prose is just...so touching and wonderful and you actually made my whole day (which was going fairly bad up until i managed to read your review).
i'm really glad you thought everything fit well - i tried hard to drop little hints from the start that there is more to astoria's feelings and her trauma than what one could usually assume about someone who fought in the battle of hogwarts. the fact that she convinced her friends to stay and fight is something that she will most likely feel guilty about for the rest of her life and i really wanted to show how badly it affects her and her everyday life. she might get better over time, but the guilt will always be somewhere at the back of her mind. and she's definitely the type of person that would think and think about the guilt and her friends and just look for things to make her not think about them. working with her father, helping a crime lord and duelling other crime lords is the type of adrenaline filled work/activity that she would cherish just because of the fact that it doesn't allow her to think about her guilt for the time being. it's also why i think she would work well with draco - they're both feeling guilty and they're both broken so that last line was an endline i had in mind from the first time i started writing it (and the opening line as well because i thought it would be interesting to start a love story during a funeral for someone both of the protagonists hate). so i guess that besides this being a love story (kind of) i also wanted to explore astoria's character and her motivations and her guilt - i love that you think she's a good protagonist, and especially her relationship with draco - i don't really mention how much time passes between each of the parts of the story because somehow it didn't really fit well, and i thought that some people might feel as if they got together too quickly, so it's great to hear that their encounters/their relationship is believable.
thank you so much for this amazing and wonderful review, joey!!!
Hey, Kris! I'm here to do a review for the Magical Menegerie 2019!!
“I’m not letting you go. We’re going to be chaotic and messy and broken together.”
I know that that is the last line of your story, but it is the best line ever in the whole wide fanfic world. True that. End of... you get the picture.
This story was fabulous! I'm writing through the total flumox that fills me, to say I love your characterizations of noth Astoria Greengrass and Draco Malfoy. I've always thought there was more to their story then just meeting up with everyone else at Platform nine and three quarters to send their tots off to Hogwarts.
I love their stark darkness to them. Their broken spirits. Their need to find their paths to happiness. That, in the end, because we know their story together does end in sadness, makes it all that more heart breaking and wretched.
I love the absolute slow burn, and how they went from bed buddies to falling in love. How it was Draco that said it first. He lost friends in the War also (if you call some of them <i>friends</i>) but he was still able to get beyond that to offer his friendship to her.
That, in the end, is what makes the best relationship. Friends (even if they'd slept together) before becoming actual lovers and a couple.
I'm still in awe of your story here, Kris. It's truly amazing and I love, love, love (I mean truly LOVE) it. You've made yourself a groupie.
i already told you i loved your review but i'm finally getting a chance to answer it properly :P
so first of all i'm totally ignoring cursed child and there is no curse on my beloved astoria and draco suffered already too much so he doesn't need the love of his life to die on him so you can rest assured that if i write a sequel to this thing (which i would definitely love to do at some point) it's not going to be sad :D
i'm really glad you love draco and astoria and their relationship and its progress - i was worried about the believability of their relationship but i love that you think it's great!
thanks for the lovely review!
I love your take on Astoria in this: so far from the rest of her family - what with being a Gryffindor, being friends with people like Colin Creevey, and participating in the final battle - but also still connected to them as well, because she works with for her father and is still in their world to an extent, going to funerals for Death Eaters and the like. And she’s messy and broken and very real - as is Draco.
The progression of their relationship is so natural as well - from just a drunken shag at a funeral where Astoria barely even wants to look at him, to their New Year’s Eve and Draco offering to be her friend, the building of the friendship itself, and then the last scene where Draco admits he’s in love with her. It honestly makes this piece feel way longer than it is - in a good way.
And the way you’ve written them, they’re SO good for each other. They’re both so broken in different ways, and they both force each other to face their problems and their fears, which is probably really good for both of them. In particular, I just really liked this line - “Draco doesn’t bring out the best in me, he’s addictive, absolutely intoxicating, he brings out everything in me, the good and the bad, the chaos, and he takes me in fully, without reservation, and I can’t help myself but to let him accept me as I am.”
And I liked how you ended this as well - it’s not a perfect, tied-with-a-bow ending, but given the mood of the story as a whole, leaving it at this point feels right. There’s definitely a strong hint that they’re going to be together after this, but it’s not laid out in stone either. Although, if you ever decide to write more of their story, I definitely wouldn’t be mad about it. ;)
Written for the Magical Menagerie event and January RvG
yeah, astoria's family (at least her mother's side - the rosiers and the rest of the death eater-y people since her father isn't interested in blood purity, only profit) is tough on her. she doesn't like them, she doesn't want to be a part of any of it but she still loves her mother, despite their differences, and after the war she pretty much doesn't have anyone else left except her family. so she tries to tolerate them but, uh, it doesn't really go well, as witnessed with her getting drunk at the funeral. i also really wanted to try and explore a gryffindor!astoria who fought in the battle of hogwarts and is broken because of everything instead of being cool and collected. i just thought that she would work well with draco.
i couldn't end this with a perfect ending with the way the both of them are portrayed but i also definitely didn't want to break them up totally :P so it's kinda bittersweet, like everything about them but i definitely plan on writing more about their relationship at some point in the future because i guess i really like broken characters :D
thanks for the lovely review!
I really love your prose in this fic, it's exceptionally evocative and elegant. The way that we stay a lot inside Astoria's head is a great way to get closer to her as a character.
Ah, love that you're writing a minor character - I've never given Astoria much thought, but I really like this interpretation of her - also that she's a Gryffindor (!) I think you capture the despair of war really well, my heart breaks for her troubled memories and her dead friends. You really make me feel for her, without having to tell me she's traumatized, that her feelings are mixed towards Draco or that her relationship with her family is complicated. That drunken shag was super hot btw. and the last one very emotional. The way Draco helps her recover when no one else does makes me ship Drastoria to bits!
Btw. "The Runaway Elves" and "Wicked Wands" are such cool band names
Overall, I loved everything about this one-shot, and I wish there was more. Also your artwork/graphic is amazing!!
aww, thanks for the compliments - english is not my first language so i always feel warm and fuzzy inside when people say such nice things about my writing *_*
tbh, i always wanted to write a drastoria and well, i find her to be a really interesting character even with such limited information we have on her, she needed to be someone who would challenge draco, who would help him heal but also someone who draco would be able to help...i wanted her to be someone with whom he didn't have much contact during his school years and making her a gryffindor meant i had more story to add to her - staying behind and fighting in the battle of hogwarts, being friends with colin creevey, wanting to join the aurors but being rejected for her impulsive/reckless personality and ending up working for her father in his crime syndicate :O it all kind of added up to this woman i wanted to write about (and i still want to write more about her and draco!)
thank you for this lovely review!
Hey dearest! I wanted to swing by with a holiday review and I saw that this was new and that it had 0 reviews so I had to all the more come give this story some love. In reading the story I realize that this was the one you were working on that you asked about the dating service on and that makes me smile.
You did a nice job of setting things up between Draco and Astoria, I am particularly fond of the last line about how they can be messy and broken together that is such a lovely sentiment particularly considering everything the characters went through.
Also, I am very intrigued by the idea of Astoria being a Gryffindor. I thought she was Slytherin as almost every story I have read she has been in our house but her house probably is not official and so I like that you took a unique spin on things. It made for a good read all the same.
hey carrie :)
i'm not sure if astoria's house was ever official (and i haven't read or seen cursed child because i'm ignoring that particular part of the HP universe :P ) but i knew from the start that i didn't want to put her in slytherin and that draco needed someone who was quite different than who/what he was used to knowing during his school years. so making her a gryffindor made sense in my mind because it also offered the additional story of her staying behind and fighting, being friends with colin creevey and just tying her in with the events of the books.
that last line is honestly one of my favourites as well! it kinda summed up their friendship/relationship up until that point and set them up for the future (if i every end up writing more on them :) )
thanks for the lovely review!