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Name: Downlow (Signed) · Date: 12 Feb 2019 08:04 AM · [Report This]
Story:If Words Took Flight. Chapter: If Words Took Flight

If you had said what you meant
I wouldn't have all these open wounds.

 

You make me cry! You amazing creature. I have no words, except, beautiful.



Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 09 Feb 2019 12:10 AM · [Report This]
Story:If Words Took Flight. Chapter: If Words Took Flight

Hey, Hannah, I really like this.  The structure is so effective because you keep the pattern so well. That really throws the meaning of the poem into sharp focus.  Because of this structure, you can use metaphors without the poem's meaning becoming all mushy and amorphous.  It's as if the poem could be sung or chanted (which is, I think, how poetry was perfomed in the extremely olden days).

I also like the fact that the lines are all roughly the same length; that adds to the musicality of the poem.

The situation that this poem refers is at once personal and universal.  Most of us can relate to it.  The poet, while putting himself or herself open to the hearers, is not surprising or shocking them; they say, "Yes, that could be me."

Very nice job.  Thank you for writing.

 

Vicki



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