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Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 14 Feb 2019 11:28 PM · [Report This]
Story:Searching For The Horcruxes Chapter: 1. Searching For The Horcruxes

Hello again! 

 

Back for another review for our swap! I'm loving your poems so far! They are all so unique and very well written. 

 

Wow. That sounds like a really cool challenge concept. I love the idea of having set words that you have to incorporate into your own poem.

 

I like that this piece is about Harry, Ron, and Hermione's hunt for the horcruxes. I think you captured their worries and hardships very eloquently in such a short space.

 

One thing I did notice is that this didn't flow as smoothly for me as some of your other poems. Personally, I am not the biggest fan of cutting lines at random points as I can't help, but read it in a choppy sort of way. Hopefully, that makes sense. But it is a stylistic preference and not something I can fault you for.

 

As with your two previous poems, this was very well done. You really have a knack for poetry.

 

~Kaitlin



Author's Response:

The process of carrying over a thought from one line of poetry to the next line is called enjambment.  It's a French word, from the verb enjamber (to stride over)  from the noun jambe (leg).  I learned that in the poetry forum on MNFF, when other poets compiimented me on my skill in doing it.  (I am not trying to brag, that's just where I learned it.  The other poets on MNFF knew a lot more about this kind of stuff than I did.) You can see a lot of enjambment in my poem The Hourglasses.  

 

The secret, in reading it aloud, is not to read line by line but sentence by sentence, and it takes repetition, like an actor learning his lines, to get to the point of being able to recite it smoothly.  Even so, some of my reviewers on MNFF appreciated it and others didn't care for it so much.  I like to incorporate it into my poems to avoid a sing-song effect when they are recited.

 

One reason that this poem did not flow so well for me was that the fixed end words of the lines caused the narrative of the sentences to be a little jumbled, in my mind.  All the images were there, but the continuity was a little imperfect.  Still, one can sense Harry's, Ron's, and Hermione's feelings of helplessness, having scarcely a clue as to what to do.  The words "out there somewhere" are meant to be read as four slightly slower syllables with equal stress on each syllable.

 

Thank you so much for your kind comments.  It would be neat if we had a dedicated poetry forum on HPFT, managed and taught by a knowledgeable Poet Laureate.



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