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Reviews For If I Had a Heart

Name: Lacey Black (Signed) · Date: 26 Feb 2019 10:53 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:If I Had a Heart Chapter: me and the devil, walking side by side

So I started reading this, thinking to my self one thing and it turned out completely the opposite.  This is not a bad thing FYI, I was pleasantly surprised. I really liked how dark Selene is and how she describes herself as emotionless. I feel that there was certain freedom, like she said in her final thought, in how she allowed him to die. taking hold of her own future instead of allowing the prophecy to control her life forever, truly a very strong and powerful moment.

I want to comment that overall I am extremely impressed with how you write main characters.  Your mains are so different than the typical run of the mill characters, I love it!

I can't wait to read more of your work!

LB

 



Name: godslayer (Signed) · Date: 24 Feb 2019 04:06 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:If I Had a Heart Chapter: me and the devil, walking side by side

is it acceptable to leave you 200 lines of keyboard smashing? asking for a friend (me) because good lord my wig is orbiting jupiter right now. every single time you write something it's launched further and further away because holy smokes i am blown away by your skill and sheer mastery of the english language

"Seven words that would mark my childhood."

i don't normally get like, physical goosebumps from reading but somehow, soMEHOW you have achieved that response. 

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS I SWEAR 

Selene's indifference towards life itself, her hatred of the prophecy, her knowing how to solve the puzzle but NOT .. it just gives such a beautiful insight into her character. in fact this entire piece just gives so much perspective into her and I LOVE IT. 

 

and excuse me

THOSE LAST THREE LINES??? 

 

ART I TELL YOU

 

- love emily



Name: Aphoride (Signed) · Date: 22 Feb 2019 09:13 PM · [Report This]
Story:If I Had a Heart Chapter: me and the devil, walking side by side

Hey Kris! Dropping by for our review swap! :) 

 

So I love a good dark/horror story and I know how good you are at writing them - your whole Sinister series is so so good - so I just had to stop by this one! And, honestly, it's so so much more of the same. 

 

You have this way of writing dark/horror stories which is just... amazing. It works so so well, and I'm not even really sure what it is. You write these short sentences and this sort of vague setting - we're not told where she is, other than Iceland, what's around her, what she looks like or is wearing, how old she is... anything other than that she's in Iceland - but still, there's such a sense of who she is beyond what she looks like and everything else, and you create such a strong atmosphere. 

 

There's this real sense throughout all of it, of danger - of the fact that something's not right, that she's dangerous and psychopathic. It reminds me of Killing Eve, in a way, and of Hannibal: this kind of calm, detached dangerousness, where she doesn't really feel the way other people do, she doesn't really connect to the world the way other people do. It's all apprehension and tension; there's a kind of nervousness and alarm throughout your writing which is so so good. But, despite that, the actual scenes of violence - where she kills the wolf and drags it home; when her father is killed in the fight in the house - never feel too much, yk? They're equally as... emotionless (for lack of a better word) as the rest of it: there's this same detached kind of air about how she considers things, how she hunts and waits and just sort of sees what happens. It's super creepy but it's exactly how it should be. 

 

I lovelovelove the prophecy aspect to it as well. It's so creepy and so abusive, really, and it speaks to a huge obsessive paranoia on her dad's part - to assume that she'll save him physically, that he'll be in danger and she'll need to kill someone? What kind of person assumes that about their child and trains them for it, like moulding a child soldier? Eeesh. But it makes so much sense: that this idea of prophecy, of fate can overpower people and make them do things that perhaps they wouldn't otherwise do. That people can get obsessed with avoiding them or fulfilling them and end up just making things worse. 

 

Ahhhh this is such a great story - and I honestly have no idea how you managed to get so much in, so much emotion and character and everything, when it's only like 1.5k or so? You have a real gift for writing, and it really, really shows. 

 

Laura xx



Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 17 Feb 2019 01:06 AM · [Report This]
Story:If I Had a Heart Chapter: me and the devil, walking side by side

What a tragic main character, from a tragic family.  Both parents are unable to give their daughter what she needs to grow up whole.  A mother absent most of the time and dying (the ultimate absence) when her daughter is ten years old.  A father who becomes obsessed by a prophecy that his daughter will save his life and subsequently fixates on training her to fulfill that role.  The result: an emotionally starved child who has never learned to express, or even feel, emotion.

 

The story needs to be read over again two or three times to pick up all the clues and references.  Seemingly random statements early in the story gain meaning from information given later in the story.

 

What happens to this child -- the loss of the ability to feel or express emotion -- happens to children in real life also, although in this story of the Harry Potter world, the inciting incident is a prophecy, which is generally not the inciting incident in our world.  Still, a loveless, emotionless childhood can lead to an adulthood similarly stunted.

 

There are interesting implications about prophecy in the wizarding world.  In this case, the prophecy "The child shall save its father's life," was the direct cause of the child's not saving her father's life.  I have addressed the uncertain workings of prophecy in my own writing.  Interesting questions.  A good story.



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