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Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 07 Mar 2019 05:11 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Edge of Oblivion Chapter: The Prophecy Unfolds

Hi, Juls,

 

This is a clever chapter.  I love the idea of the prophecy, and of course Hermione, even more than the others, will resist accepting it as having any value in their race to control the disease.  

 

I also liked your explanation about why Draco had changed careers and had become a Healer.  It is good when developments like that are given a canon-compliant rationale; it makes the Potterverse more self-consistent, so that our imaginative extensions of it can be linked back to the whole. :)   And Draco shows himself not totally helpless in the fight against the disease because he is the one to see the acrostic that points them all toward Severus Snape.  In the canon books, Draco is portrayed mostly as a jerk, but he was also quite smart, and I like stories that show us that.

 

I hope that these characters, even though already exposed to the disease, are not contagious before beginning to show symptoms, so that it will be safe for them (not counting Hermione) to go to Hogwarts and consult with Snape's portrait without inadvertently carring the virus into the parts of the school where the students are.

 

Will you five authors keep writing chapters in turn until the story is finished?  I hope so!

 

Vicki



Name: crestwood (Signed) · Date: 06 Mar 2019 04:52 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Edge of Oblivion Chapter: The Prophecy Unfolds

Hi Juls! I thought I’d slide on by to check out your chapter of the collab for EvS :)


The description you give at the beginning as Hermione allows her emotions to overcome her are excellent, it starts the chapter off on a very high note. It’s a good commentary on the idea that, although death is unavoidable, it can often feel so sudden and debilitating at the same time. And a great reference to the time she was forced to wipe her parents’ memories, that must be a moment that haunts her a bit, even if she eventually was able to find them.


People always come for leadership in times like this, even if it’s not their fault or, really, anything to do with them. That much is for sure. Already, you’ve given us a taste of the brink that we’re going to be returning from right away.


It’s so much like Hermione to scoff at something, even when she knows it to be largely true :P


Everyone with a hand in writing the prophecy did such a good job, it’s haunting in the best way.


Ohh, I think I spy a reference to Cursed Child here, despite the fact that I have not read or seen it before. Hermione is so smart not to want to go back while sick though, she could sort of destroy time if so, I’m pretty sure.


I love the spelling out of the prophecy - brings me back to Voldemort’s anagram when Tom Riddle came out of the diary. I really enjoyed reading this - you’ve done an amazing job with this portion of the story! Until next time,

 

Joey



Name: starbuck (Signed) · Date: 06 Mar 2019 07:44 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Edge of Oblivion Chapter: The Prophecy Unfolds

hey juls! here for EvS, team emerald :D


i really think you did a great job depicting hermione's despair and just..her wish to let everything go, be with ron, stop being the minister all the time and simply be a wife hoping that her husband will get better even though she knows it isn't likely.


then, when she has to deal with neville, harry and draco and put up the minister persona for them, it's obvious she's barely dealing with everything. i think the joke she wants to make really shows that off - it's not supposed to be funny and you obviously wrote it as a way to display her troubled mental state. it's a powerful tool! it also goes to show that she's willing to believe in and act upon a prophecy made by trelawney, when, while at school, she never thought divination had any merit. at this point in time she's willing to do anything if it means it would help save both ron and the wizarding world.


this was such a great chapter and you did an awesome job in writing it, especially showing the desperation!


kris



Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 03 Mar 2019 10:31 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Edge of Oblivion Chapter: The Beginning

Hi, Starbuck, I'm here for Team Emerald of the Slytherin EvS Review Tag to review the first chapter of this fascinating story.  

 

I see that you have started your gang of authors off with a bang!  No beating around the bush.  Your idea to tell the story of the outbreak of the disease and the rapid deterioration of the situation by using serial news releases works very well indeed.  It is just how some poor wizarding family would get the news day by day, each day worse than the previous one.

 

You have such good details: The cult group's conspiracy theory; the hoarding of supplies by doomsday survivalists; the initial medical advice to the public of not panicking into thinking that a simple common cold was The Dread, later followed by advice not to try self-healing measures; the closing of schools and their conversion into more treatment space; the interdiction on travel.  All these news reports really add up to conveying the sense of emergency and panic, although the journalists try to remain calm and give the impression that the government is actually dealing with the epidemic responsibly.

 

Interesting to cast Draco Malfoy in the role of Head of the Magical Disease Control (the wizarding equivalent of the CDC).  His early interest and talent in Potions, plus his familial example of executive functioning, reasonably leads to this administrative career in health science.  

 

But we can sense Draco's anger and frustration at a situation that is out of hand by his language in the radio interview.  First he refuses to estimate when a cure will be found (he probably doesn't know, but doesn't want to admit that), and his controlled, unemotional speech quickly devolves into coarse language, and he refers to Harry and Neville by their surnames only whereas a more formal speaking style would be to refer to them as Harry Potter and Neville Longbottom, along with their professional titles.

 

Interesting that here in 2029, almost 31 years after the Battle of Hogwarts, the press is still referring to Harry as The Chosen One and referring to Ron as a member of the trio who managed to defeat Lord Voldemort.  Some things are hard to live down!

 

Enjoyable chapter, nice job.

 

Vicki



Name: Lacey Black (Signed) · Date: 24 Feb 2019 04:32 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Edge of Oblivion Chapter: The Prophecy Unfolds

This is a really great  continuation of the story that leads up to my chapter! I really liked how Hermione was able to compartmentalize her life, its very much something Hermione would do.  you really write a great Hermione! 

I like how Draco must know Hermione well enough to recognize how her not noticing it first was out of character for her.

and most of all i really appretiated the sensitivity Harry showed about his bestfriends.  That really struck a chord in me.

Great writing

LB



Name: Lacey Black (Signed) · Date: 24 Feb 2019 04:13 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Edge of Oblivion Chapter: Threshold

Rumples! This chapter is so wow!  You actually had me getting all misty over Ron.  I desperately love the way he talks about Hermione here!  And the way you described the skeletons and the rats   (lol i mean thats golden right there) coming for him, that was perfect, and i could literally picture every bit of this story in my head.

you are a fantastic writer and you did such a fab job continuing where Starbuck left off.

LB



Name: juls (Signed) · Date: 22 Feb 2019 01:43 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Edge of Oblivion Chapter: The Fly On The Wall

Lacey -

Just popped in to say I absolutely love your Snape! He's soo snarky it makes me swoon.

You did a great job on your chapter, and I love it so much!

I can't wait to read all of the rest of them!

<3juls.



Name: Mamoru (Anonymous) · Date: 20 Feb 2019 01:20 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Edge of Oblivion Chapter: The Prophecy Unfolds

This colaboration has been one of my favorite projects of Slytherin House has been this collaboration.  I am in love with how things are coming together.  You did an amazing job of writing Hermione and her struggles with everything going on in this story. 

 

I am particularly fond of how Hermione has her true nature and then the mask of being the minister or magic.  I think you handled her brink very well and how she came back from it to continue to do the work she needs to do. 

 

You have also done a wonderful job of laying out the gravity of the situation as everyone tries to figure out the answers to the problem the Wizarding World is facing.  You also did a nice job showing the reasons and emotions of the other characters present while focusing on Hermione and her role in this tale.

 

I truly enjoyed this read as I have enjoyed everything that is written thus far fantastic work.



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 20 Feb 2019 12:34 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Edge of Oblivion Chapter: The Prophecy Unfolds

Hey!

 

I think you've done a lovely job in depicting Hermione as she works through such awful times. It must be difficult for her as Minister for Magic, as a lot of people are looking to her for solutions. I love the sense of hopelessness that you've woven in here because it's a completely realistic set of emotions she's struggling with as she watches the world around her crumble and her husband cling to life. I also love how this depicts everyone (who can) come together under the circumstances -- Neville, Hermione, Harry, Draco... just to try to battle this thing. 

 

Just wanted to stop in and say kudos! 

 

-Rumpels



Name: Lacey Black (Signed) · Date: 18 Feb 2019 01:20 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Edge of Oblivion Chapter: The Beginning

Hey Kris!

I just wanted to make sure to pop by and leave you a review!  I really really enjoyed the build up of the outbreak!  You are truly a talented writer.  The way you are able to engage your readers inspires me and I cannot wait to read Loren of your writing.  I think there is no better way this story could have begun. Again really great story!

LB



Name: juls (Signed) · Date: 18 Feb 2019 12:21 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Edge of Oblivion Chapter: The Beginning

Nicely done, Kris. You've written the build up to the crisis well. Given us (the readers) enough of a sense of urgency and hopelessness.  That Ron is one of the afflicted gives validity to the story idea.

I also like (aka love) the fact that you've various publications as your sources to build up the level of the crisis. Showing the dispair of the magical community we've all known and come to love.

That the magical world could be very well at the brink of extinction. (Just like the dinosaurs, dodo and others. Now, it has hit humankind.)

<3 juls



Name: juls (Signed) · Date: 18 Feb 2019 11:34 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Edge of Oblivion Chapter: Threshold

Aww, Rumpels, you had to give me the feels for Ron with this chapter. He's not my favorite (but NOT my least favorite either - that is left for Umbridge herself!), and I've killed him off in a fic (or two, possibly). You've given him a human side, more so than JKR ever did for me. (Of the trio, I honestly think he was the leass fleshed out. More fleshed out though than our beloved Draco!)

His pain is panful to read. It makes me root for a cure in time to save him, actually. That's a powerful thing =)

Thanks also, for humanizing Hermione. Your writing off her is beautiful.

Let's kick this 'Dread', okay?

<3juls



Name: Alexis Black (Signed) · Date: 17 Feb 2019 09:35 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Edge of Oblivion Chapter: The Beginning

Kris, it's amazing what you managed to convey in this opening chapter. Each article paints an ever-bleaker situation as this epidemic begins to spread.

At the same time, you've managed to weave bits of humor in it. I love the last part in particular. You nailed Draco losing his patience perfectly. And then to have the interviewer end it with Harry Potter going to save the wizarding world again is just too much. I can just imagine Draco about to explode.

Very well done!



Name: Alexis Black (Signed) · Date: 17 Feb 2019 09:31 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Edge of Oblivion Chapter: Threshold

Rumpel, this was sooooo well written! I love the morbid hallucinations of skeletons and maggots. And the rats - after carrying around a rat for years as a student, now he sees visions of them nibbling on him. That was a lovely touch.

Great job overall keeping with the 'on the brink' theme while continuing to build on what starbuck began.



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 17 Feb 2019 05:51 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Edge of Oblivion Chapter: The Beginning

Heya, kris! o/

 

Just wanted to stop by and let you know that I think you did a fabulous job with this prologue! I love how the notes, articles, and reports help to outline the sequence of events on an actual, physical timeline. Naturally, my favorite part is the news article from the Daily Flibbertigibbet and the S.N.A.K.E.S.. Of course they're worried about the effects the disease is having on Basilisks' food source -- I'm crying. 

 

Lovely job! 

 

-Rumpels



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