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Name: down-in-flames (Signed) · Date: 16 Sep 2019 05:40 PM · [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Creatures of the Dark

hi hi! finally dropping in with your challenge award reviews :)

 

teddy’s feelings on birthdays.... well, first of all, they’re rather unfortunate, because birthdays are great and are a wonderful excuse to make a big deal about absolutely nothing of major significance. he’s right that nothing big happens on the actual day usually, but that’s because they’re 100% what you make them (well, most of the time - the end of this chapter is proof otherwise, but in normal situations, birthdays are just a totally normal day in which it’s completely acceptable to go all out in everything you do - what’s not to love about that? i digress, but it’s interesting that he sometimes seems incapable of seeing the positivity of *anything* in his life; he certainly has plenty of other things to be negative about, but in moments like this it seems like he’s being negative about something just for the sake of being negative about it. (although, once again, those negative feelings surrounding birthdays are more justified by the end of the chapter, when there IS something truly negative to be attached to it)

 

i... don’t know how i feel about birthday cake flavored tea. that doesn’t feel like the kind of thing that should be a tea flavor, ya know? like the whole thing is that they’re earthy and herbal - they shouldn’t taste like icing, lol. anyhow, i’ve gone woefully off-topic for the SECOND time in this review.

 

i’ve got a soft spot for all of harry and ginny’s kids (if complicated didn’t make that obvious, haha) so i love that they make an appearance here. i love that al is the cuddly one and that james is just in awe of teddy’s drawing no matter how good or bad teddy seems to think it is - they’re sweet kids.

 

anyhow, the second half of this chapter is... it’s really something. first of all, the fact that he’s lost leo is so sad, and i now see exactly what you were taking about in your response to my last review. i get the feeling teddy will blames himself in part for this, and i’m also really upset for him in that he’s lost someone who felt like such an integral part of his support system.

 

but i also want to comment on your writing in this section, because that’s absolutely the best part of this chapter. the timeline and narration are so messy and jumbled (i mean this as a compliment, i swear) that it’s difficult to pinpoint where exactly teddy’s disassociation began, which i think really lends itself to putting the reader into teddy’s shoes and experiencing his confusion at what’s happening just as much as he is. it’s fantastic and heartbreaking and really allows the reader to empathise with teddy in this moment.

 

and then this - “It's your fault it's your fault it's your fault it's your fault it's YOUR FAULT IT'S YOUR FAULT IT'S YOUR FAULTIT'SYOURFAULTIT'SYOURFAULT- “ - someone needs to give teddy a hug because omg this poor kid </3

 

great writing as always!!

 

-taylor



Name: shadowkat678 (Signed) · Date: 18 Aug 2019 04:59 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Through Fishbowls

Hi, here for the final review of our swap. 

 

I think that this chapter was very well done. I like the imagery you used, like with the clouds, and the writing comments by Leo were on point, and I'm glad he's still around for Teddy. He really needs someone to rely on. I also really like how you incorporated the houses.

 

The panic attack was written realistically. A lot of people don't realize that they don't just happen at once, but build up like here with even little things just adding and adding and adding until everything bursts and no one knows how to take it. The irritability after is also very on point. To outsiders that didn't know what went on before in someone's head it seems very random and out of no where. 

 

I like how he finally got up the courage to call Leo and how he has someone to help calm him now. 

 

Another good chapter.

 

~Kat



Name: shadowkat678 (Signed) · Date: 17 Aug 2019 08:25 PM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Happier Times

He, here for the third review in our swap!

 

I like the way you write Teddy progressively getting older but still being a kid. You get into his mindset very well. It's really sad to see how long Teddy has gone with it a friend. That's so detrimental to development, but it seems his grans strictness doesn't make connecting with other kids very easy.

 

I,hope Leo shows up again. He seems like a good kid. 

 

The flow was good and despite your worries I think,that the time skips haven't impeded my enjoyment at all. Well, onto the next chapter!

 

~Kat



Name: shadowkat678 (Signed) · Date: 16 Aug 2019 05:32 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Play Pretend

Hey, here for the second review!

 

Oh no. It looks like he's already got anxiety. I already don't like Andromeda in this one. If he's this anxious what has she been saying to him? Poor kid. :(

 

The part where they played Pokemon was really cute. Pokemon mystery dungeon used to be one of my favorite games. I think the later half really caught me by suprise because the first part was so light hearted. I was hoping Teddy was just exadurating about the things he would think she'd be upset about.

 

The contrast between Harry and Ginny and with Andromeda is already very stark, and I would hazard a guess to say it is going to become even more so than it is already. He seems so...soft, and empethetic, I suppose. It's going to be hard watching him get hurt. Strict relationships like that, especially ones with people telling you stuff like you're disrespecting your dead parents over mistakenly calling someone else dad, do not healthy relationships make. (And really, what does that say about how she would think of adopted children elsewhere?)

 

I'm looking foward to the next chapters. 

 

~Kat

 



Name: shadowkat678 (Signed) · Date: 16 Aug 2019 05:16 PM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Nightmare

Hi, here for our swap!

 

Ah, an AU. I assume a muggle one. It took me a minute. At first I thought maybe Harry and Ginny died, and he considered them his parents. Then it all clicked.

 

God that's horrible. At least in the canon universe Teddy didn't have to see his parents die. And this is just the start? I'm guessing PTSD is going to be a thing here.

 

There isn't too much else to say about the first chapter since it's so short. I like the writing style in this and how you described Teddy's perception of the event. Not noticing the blood at first until it was too late. Him noticing how quiet everything was.How he was so proud of remembering what ecosystem means. You're able to get across a lot in this short piece about his state of mind, age, and fear without just telling us.

 

Well, onto the next chapter! Thanks for the swap! I think this is going to be a really good piece, and I'm excited to read more.



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 05 Aug 2019 03:50 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Unbreak My Heart

Haha the chapters keep getting longer omg. I don’t mind so much, but in general I think it’s a good idea to try to keep your chapters on the shorter, consistent side! (I’m one to talk lol, the one multi-chap I started just had chapters that kept stretching and stretching. It’s hard, keeping it down. :P)

 

OH my goodness, I didn’t actually think that my reference to Alzheimer’s a few chapters ago was actually right. Aww, poor Andromeda—she’s not a very kind person by any means, but it still must be really awful to experience something like that and not quite understand what’s wrong. I think Teddy’s flaw here is really interesting; he’s right in that he’s thinking somewhat selfishly when he wishes his grandmother didn’t have this excuse for making him feel terribly because, I mean, forgetting about Leo genuinely was not her fault, and he spent so much energy feeling furious towards her about it…and he probably should have realized something more serious was up. But at the same time, he’s a teenager whose grandmother didn’t treat him well, so of course he wants something good from her.

 

Really quickly, this line—“…‘soon’ for him meant anywhere between a week and four years. No in between”—doesn’t quite make sense; I feel like I’ve seen you use a similar phrase elsewhere before, but I just forgot to point it out. You jump from saying it could be “anywhere between” to “no in between,” you know? Just a small thing!

 

YAY HE’S LIVING WITH THE POTTERS YAY YAY YAY.

 

Also, Tonks’s journal?? That was reallyyy interesting to read about. It was also heartbreaking, though, seeing this AU version of Tonks WHO STILL DIDN’T GET TO LIVE. It seems like Andromeda has been this way since before Alzheimer’s, which is really unfortunate. Tonks and Teddy seem to be experiencing a lot of the same symptoms of depression (at least, that’s what it seems like to me), and so I hope that he can follow in his mother’s footsteps and seek help at university or something like that. It’s really awful that Andromeda could bring both of them to this point, though.

 

Okay the difference between the Potters and Andromeda is like day and night; the amount of relief I feel when I see Teddy with the Potters is ridiculous. I can’t even imagine how much better it must feel with them. His constant worries from having grown up with Andromeda are unnecessary here, and I hope that he’ll grow out of his self-esteem problems. :(

 

EVERYTHING WITH VEGA WAS AWESOME I LOVED SEEING TEDDY PHOTOGRAPH THINGS AHH.

 

This is wonderful! Keep up the good work! <3

 

Eva



Author's Response:

My chapters just keep longer and longer, ahaha... My longest one by far is the next one--it broke 8k words! I think the ones after that are consistently around 6k to 7k, so it evens out. I'm not even sure why they're getting longer, but when I try to split them up, the flow is suddenly all off and I'm not sure how to fix it. Maybe it has to do with what you pointed out before--the explaining details too much? Yeah, maybe that. It's been a while since I've taken a detailed look at the chapters, so that's something I need to do again. 

 

You pretty much nailed it yeah. As we see from Tonks' journal, she was like this even from before having Alzheimer's, so on some level she was truly a bit abusive. And although not everything can be justified by her Alzheimer's, some of the stuff we see in the story can be. It's sort of something he tries to come to terms with in this story. Let's see if I'm able to do that justice, lmao.

 

Oh, dang, some things really escape my eye when I'm editing these chapters. Thanks for pointing that out. 

 

That was practically my own reaction to him living with the Potters, lol. As much as he needed better guardians, I think the change in environment will let us look at his mental state now, instead of having it be worsened little by little by Andromeda (or something like that). 

 

I'M SORRY! But if his parents were alive, then this story wouldn't exist and I really wasn't about to turn Remus and Tonks into abusive parents. (Andromeda though? I was a little bit more lenient with her.) Yeah, I agree. It sucks that Andromeda brought both of them to this state, and I truly feel sad for the both of them. I know this is a little morbid, but I find it funny that Teddy happens to be going through the same thing that Tonks is, but fails to realize that he is, but also, I made him do that, because he knows next to nothing about mental illness. I deliberately took out any mention of depression, anxiety, abuse, etc. unless it was in mention of someone else.

 

Things are a lot better with the Potters! And I'm really glad for that, but it's also sad writing about the moments where he feels out of place, like when he thinks about how weird it is that Harry and Ginny actually talk to him for fun. 

 

I'm glad you liked seeing them together! They were really fun to write! c:

 

Thanks for reading and reviewing! xx

 



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 05 Aug 2019 12:30 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Death In Its Carriage

SO MANY THINGS KEEP HAPPENING, I KEEP FEELING SO MANY EMOTIONS. I feel like this chapter was probably the best one yet! Logically, everything made sense; all the characters’ actions were believable and understandable, and it didn’t feel like anything was exaggerated for dramatic effect, which can be very easy to do I think with abuse stories. Overall, really good job! I thought this chapter was written wonderfully!

 

I love that Teddy’s developed an interest in photography!!! Art is good for the human soul, and I hope that he’ll be able to really pursue his passion as he continues in life! It’s also really excellent that Vega supports him; when you think about it, being friends with her is really what brought out his artistic side, and the fact that she encourages him to talk as much as he wants about photography is amazing! A true friend. I’m glad that she’s his best memory, haha, though I wish he had let himself be more genuine about it! I hope she didn’t take his statement about having nothing to compete with too personally. <3

 

One thing that I realized this chapter was why I find it difficult to understand Andromeda’s character. This is speaking from a purely personal perspective, by the way, so it’s not anything to do with your writing exactly. But the thing is, a lot of what Andromeda’s doing, like talking about planning for the future and being strict with what her grandchild does, is really similar to what my parents do, or what a lot of Asian parents do—just without the malice that’s behind all of Andromeda’s words. But these parents genuinely want us to have good futures, with genuine goodwill behind it, so hearing these words so associated with care and love being said in between abusive statements is hard to understand, you know? :P

 

But ugh poor poor poor Teddy, I can’t imagine having a guardian that horrible. I’m glad that he found his way to the Potters’ home, and that they took him in! HARRY AND GINNY ARE THE BEST. They’re honestly really really wonderful; I feel like a lot of people would’ve just sent Teddy back home, but they really saw him and the state he was in, and I’m glad they let him stay for as long as he wanted. And Lily!!! Aww the cutie. I love all the Potter children haha, they really bring a lot of life and spirit to the home.

 

The whole pancakes scene made me so hungry omg, I haven’t eaten dinner yet hahaha. It was also really sweet and domestic, and I’m glad that Teddy got to feel like he was in a happy family for once. Can he just. stay with them forever? :P AND THAT HARRY AND GINNY GAVE HIM A CAMERA AHHHH.

 

Okay okay okay but the ending omg, what happened to Andromeda? Why does Teddy always have the unfortunate luck of bad things befalling on days related to him?? AHHH

 

Sorry for all the screaming. :P

 

Eva



Author's Response:

I SERIOUSLY THINK THIS IS MY BEST CHAPTER TOO!! So, seriously, thanks for saying that! :^) (I warned you when I said there would a lot of drama in the coming chapters!)

 

Art is very good for the human soul! I think one of the great things about Vega is that she just lets Teddy be, and encourages him to find who is outside of how he and others define him. Like everyone has this image of him, and Vega does too, but she lets Teddy change that instead of forcing it on him. Does that make any sense or am I just rambling? Probably rambling because I don't know how to articulate what Vega is to Teddy, haha. In fact, that's one of the reasons that Teddy doesn't really let himself be genuine to Vega because though all the signs are there, he's still not sure how to define her in his life, and what it would mean for Leo's place in his life if Teddy called Vega a friend. 

 

No, no, I completely understand! I have parents similar to Andromeda, you know, the whole planning the future and the strictness, the whole lot. It's hard to define what Andromeda's intentions are, though, and whether she means well or if she just wants control over Teddy. If she is well meaning, then why not take on a more understanding tone with Teddy? And if she wanted control, well then why not just be more transparent about it (obviously not every abuser will be transparent and outrightly take control like that, but for the sake of asking questions let's see it as that black and white)? Teddy's confused about why she's so imposing about something that's usually meant to be... more of a sign that parents care? I'm definitely rambling at this point so I'm just gonna stop right here before I confuse myself. 

 

Ahh, Harry and Ginny really are the best. I think seeing Teddy in that state was what really pushed them to letting him stay for the night (even I personally would find it hard if someone like Teddy showed up at my home like that). Their home really contrasts the sort of home that Andromeda provides, and the children certainly do add to that. They genuinely care for him, and the camera was a sign of that. 

 

Teddy has unfortunate luck like that probably because I accidentally wrote it that way, oops. 

 

Don't apologize for the screaming, it has greatly amused me! I love seeing your reactions!

 

Thanks for reading and reviewing! 



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 04 Aug 2019 10:18 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Moonstruck Protagonist

Just a quick bit of CC before I get started with the actual review: I’ve noticed that occasionally you slip into present tense for the story; this is something that you’ve improved at considerably since I’ve first read your stories, which I think is really impressive! Just wanted to let you know that there are still a couple here and there in some chapters, but overall you’ve been improving a lot as a writer. <3

 

HE’S MAKING MORE FRIENDS YAYY. I’m so so proud of him. It’s always really difficult speaking to new people, and especially considering his social anxieties regarding interacting with people (and constantly thinking he was bothering them and such), I think it’s such a great thing that he’s managed to talk to people! I think Vega is really wonderful; I always admire the people who are able to suddenly walk up to strangers (or people they’re not quite familiar with) and try to make them feel more comfortable. And August! Teddy’s reactions to August were super cute, though it was slightly unfortunate that August couldn’t remember Teddy hahaha. <3

 

He eats in the detention room?? I love that idea. It’s also interesting because yeah, most kids who go to detention aren’t bad kids by any means, they’re generally funny and endearing and everything. So it makes sense that he would seek company in detention rooms, despite not having gotten any detentions hahaha. I’m not really too sure how detention works, but it’s nice that his school lets non-detention kids walk into the detention classroom, otherwise Teddy wouldn’t have been able to become closer friends with Vega and such. (I’m sorry, my memory is so bad, but Samirah was also your one-shot, right?? Along with August???)

 

I feel like Teddy’s making progress. And it’s taking time, but that’s okay, because he’s gone through a lot of suffering. Like when he forgot little details about Leo and panicked about that, I wanted to find some way to make him feel better, because it makes sense that he’d be worried. I hope he knows that the most important thing is remembering the good times with Leo, and loving him still after all this time. <3

 

This was a really good chapter!

 

Eva



Author's Response:

Arghhhh tenses still haunt me even after writing for three years. Thank you for pointing it out, and also for saying that I've improved. I'm not too much of a self-reflective person, so improvement of any sort flies right over my head, haha. 

 

I'm glad Teddy is making friends too! He's very reluctant and has an unanny ability to overthink the smallest things, which sort of fuels his anxiety. It is unfortunate that August forgot Teddy, but honestly I've had way too many moments where I forget a person who I've probably seen twice everyday. My brain has an affinity for being dumb, and so does August's, it seems, lmfao. 

 

I'm glad you like that idea too! Kids who have a lot of detention do tend to be seen as troublemakers, and sometimes maybe they are, but I think that atmosphere of camaraderie and enjoyment (how do I describe this? I have no idea) is what Teddy really needs, because he still feels very very sad, or feels like he doesn't deserve to feel happy. (And yes, Samirah, August, and Vega were all in that oneshot!)

 

I'm glad you liked the chapter! Thanks for reading and reviewing! xx



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 04 Aug 2019 09:51 PM · [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Would I even be okay?

Oh wow, this chapter was really intense in a lot of ways, and there’s a lot of stuff to sort through. First of all, I think you wrote Teddy’s grief pretty well (at least from an outsider’s perspective, as I’ve never had to experience a tragedy like this in my lifetime before). His inability to move in the beginning, his unwillingness to go to school and carry on with his life… That definitely struck me, and made me understand the extent of Teddy’s grief and emotions better; it was a good example of showing without telling, in my opinion! And Vega! I’m glad she was kind to him, I remember her from your one-shot about Teddy’s friends loving him, right? I’m hoping to see more of how their friendship develops!

 

It’s awful that the kids were laughing at him crying in class. Are kids that cruel, though? Even if they might not have liked him much regularly during the year, no one makes fun of people for grieving over their dead loved one. I don’t know, I remember in middle school when one of the kids in my grade lost his sister in a car accident, and I’m positive that there were people who didn’t like him, but who were all shocked and saddened by the news, and treated him well afterwards. I’d like to think that the vast vast majority of all kids are like this, but I could be wrong.

 

I’ve been wondering about what Andromeda is struggling with. Teddy’s mentioned that she’s sick, which I always sort of assumed to be a lingering effect of her grief for her lost daughter and son-in-law, but I never knew exactly what was happening with her. And so in this chapter, when we see most clearly that she has some form of memory problems, whether it’s Alzheimer’s or something else, I was really shocked when Teddy somehow came to the conclusion that she wasn’t sick, and that she was being hateful by forgetting Leo. I didn’t understand that. Like, either she’s actively pretending to have forgotten Leo and Monica, which would be beyond pointless, or she’s actually forgotten them, which makes more sense. I know that Teddy’s going through a really really terrible time, but I was really surprised by that whole sequence of thought coming from him.

 

Andromeda was really awful, though, to him when the Potters were around. I was actually really relieved that they were present to witness the exchange, because I feel like this entire time they’ve been kind of fond of her and have been thinking that she’s a good guardian, but yeah. I wonder what Harry and Ginny are going to do about it, aww. I’m so so glad that Harry stepped in when he did omg.

 

This was a really really sad chapter. :( <3

 

Eva



Author's Response:

Hellooo, hi again. c:

 

Oh, thank god. This chapter gave me some real trouble, haha. I just didn't know how to go about it, and really just said 'screw it' and wrote it on a whim without looking back and made a lot of edits. And I mean a lot of them. 

 

I mean I think most kids are pretty reasonable, but I think Teddy focuses on those kids in particular because they're the ones who're memorable. I mean, I don't particularly think people remember the encounters that are pleasant? Like you remember the ones who either really helped you or really hurt you. But also, people can just be that unpleasant and rude, really. I've had people say that to me, and I sort of reacted the same way as you, like, people really can be that mean? Wow.

 

Andromeda is such an enigma! Keep reading friend. 

 

Your commentary is spot on. Because like, really, think about it, I'd prefer having (and maybe this is just me) my grandma just be plain hateful towards me rather than have her be sick or something. Both options aren't great, but I just think Teddy doesn't want to also deal with a dying Grandma after just having lost his best friend. So in some form, it is denial of his own reality, and logic has gone out the window. 

 

I'm glad that they were around too! Harry and Ginny had a lingering idea of something going on behind closed doors, but also, abuse is a really big accusation, you know? It's not really a label that you can just throw around and not face the consequences for. It's a situation that's kind of hard to navigate, you know? 

 

Thanks for reading and reviewing! xx

 



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 04 Aug 2019 11:57 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Creatures of the Dark

Hi, here for your review request! <3

 

Teddy being unappreciative of everything seems to be the norm haha, it’s an unfortunate character trait but all characters are meant to have their flaws. :P But, just from Ginny’s love to the tea to Albus’s sweetness (omg Albus is adorable though), I was impressed with how many things he found to pick at. It was nice when he felt proud for drawing for James though!

 

Noo, no no no. I feel so so bad for Leo’s mother, and Teddy, and all the other people surrounding Leo’s death. He didn’t deserve to die (no one does, really, but Leo was the epitome of angelicness [not a word oops haha] on Earth); he was so young and sweet and had a whole day planned for Teddy’s birthday, and basically gave Teddy a reason to look forward to attending school and living his life (at least, to a fuller extent than he had been previously). I’m a little surprised Andromeda let him go out for his birthday, but I’m glad she did!

 

I shouldn’t say “glad” since poor Leo died (still sad about this), but idk. It was a good thought. I can’t even begin to imagine how Teddy must feel right now; on top of the grief of losing his best friend, his mind is also playing tricks on him, making him think that it was his fault, and that if he hadn’t agreed to celebrate his birthday then this wouldn’t have happened. I hope he can learn soon that it’s not his fault! That he didn’t cause this, that the world is just terribly unfair towards the wrong people sometimes. <3

 

I can’t believe Andromeda’s reaction though. It’s really cold and cruel, especially given the fact that she went through the same thing many years ago, and I can’t understand it. Sometimes people are just unkind people, I guess. :(

 

His dream was really, really scary, I can’t fathom being such a young teenager and having a dream like that. Or being anyone and having a dream like that, really, but it must be a lot harder for him to handle grief than for a much older person. I can’t believe he dreamed about his parents, and about the life he was supposed to live, and about his sister who never happened. It’s interesting because you seem to carry a lot of things between Glass and Home (such as the fact that Hope exists, or even that her name is Hope), which does make separating the two really difficult in my head haha. But anyway, it was such a traumatic dream, and I really really hope he talks to someone so that he doesn’t have to suffer with these things alone.

 

One bit of CC: at points, the story seems to overexplain slightly. For instance, when Ginny brings over the magically birthday-flavored tea, the story reads: “How Ginny managed to snag this and serve it on time for today was beyond him; she couldn't have possibly known that he was coming over today … Or maybe they just had it on hand.” Nothing is really said; it’s just two options being provided that the readers could’ve figured out themselves. It makes the chapter feel longer and makes these parts feel more unnecessary, you know?

 

This was a good chapter. :)

 

Eva 



Author's Response:

Hi, Eva! 

 

Omg, drag Teddy within an inch of his life, why don't you? But on a more serious note, you make a completely valid point. Teddy does have a tendency to criticize things he doesn't find perfect, and it's not a great habit to have. At it's worst, it can turn around and make one critical of themselves, or just make life that much harder to appreciate. 

 

You pretty much nailed why Teddy loved Leo, haha. It's not the healthiest reason, but Teddy really did use Leo as his crutch to stay alive and keep going. Without that... well, then what happens? You'll see that I do try to remedy that really quick, but we'll see how well that works. Haha, Andromeda surprises everyone, doesn't she?

 

That's just a part of his immediate grief I think. In between choosing to blame everyone else or himself, Teddy chose himself. Yeah, I agree. The world is just terribly unfair sometimes, and hopefully that's just something he learns as he walks through his own grief and works that out.

 

I'm glad that you thought the dream sequence was scary (maybe I shouldn't say that as it is Teddy who is experiencing it, yikes)! I'm sorry about confusing you! Certain headcanons carry across all universes for me, haha. This dream does morph into something terrifying, but the first half is pretty calm, and the lack of such a normal life in reality is what kills him in the end, I think. 

 

Thank you! I do have a tendency to overexplain things, a lot. I shouldn't be treating my audience like they're idiots, omg. I'll definitely be looking out for that as I edit future chapters. 

 

Thanks for reading and reviewing! xx



Name: sibilant (Signed) · Date: 03 Aug 2019 05:54 PM · [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Happier Times

Hey! Here for part 3/3 of our swap and for Puff-A-Claw-Polypse! :)

 

I've been really enjoying this story so far. The mystery from the first chapter is constantly in the back of my mind, and I'm kinda playing sleuth, trying to figure out what happened. I don't think there have been any subtle clues in the past couple chapters, but idk, some writers are just so insanely clever :P

 

I'm very drawn in by your characterization of Teddy. He's a super likable character--just so soft, and sweet. It makes everything that he suffers extra sad, in my opinion. So you're doing a really good job with emotional manipulation in that aspect! 

 

I loved Teddy and Leo's interaction. I kinda ship them, haha :P At least as friends! Though I do think that Teddy likes Leo too? Given how he fixates on Leo's smile, and on his "dreamy eyes." Yeah, he's gotta be bi af haha. Leo himself is a very interesting character, albeit a little serious. I'm curious about whether he makes a continued appearance throughout the story. I'm also interested in what the Weasley children are up to...it does feel a little weird to not have any mention of them at all, even though it's clear that Teddy is very close to them?

 

My suspicion is that it has to do with Andromeda. What if Andromeda has been keeping Teddy away from the Weasleys after he called Harry 'Dad'? That would be so depressing omg. Andromeda is an incredibly interesting character to me. It's clear that she's also dealing with some things of her own, with Teddy's mention of her bad days (it makes me wonder if she suffers from depression, or a mood disorder? I wouldn't be surprised, what with the trauma she endured). Still, it doesn't excuse her behavior to Teddy. I'm struck by all the little ways that she's abusive; there's a notable lack of affection in the way that she talks to Teddy, she controls his behavior, she fat-shames him, she intimidates him so much. Your depictions of that dynamic are very realistic, and heart-breaking.

 

Random aside, but I loved the little detail that Teddy hates the quiet. It makes me think of the eerie quiet in the first chapter. (I DID say I was sleuthing for clues, didn't I? haha). Also other random aside, Leo is such a creative child and the story idea he came up with sounds fascinating :P

 

Generally, this was a great chapter, though I do have a small note of concrit. I think a little more clarification of the setting and time would be good; as you mentioned, there's lots of time skips in this story--which are fine, if there is enough setting to orient the reader appropriately, and enough connection with the previous setting. So maybe something to work if/when you edit :)

 

I really enjoyed reading this! Thanks for sharing/swapping with me :) 

 

<3 Shreya



Author's Response:

Teddy is very soft and sweet! He's also very timid and self-conscious. He might have been this way even if he was raised in a healthy environment, but I think it's also fair to say that he might be like this as a result of his environment. And to me, that makes it a bit sadder, because who would he be if didn't live like this? I know the answer, but in real life it's a lot harder to tell. 

 

Ship away! But nothing serious right now, because they're still kids, haha. In the first chapter, Teddy is really close with the Weasley kids! But as the home life gets more complicated, it becomes a little harder for him to visit and Andromeda just gets more irritated as time goes on, haha. Oh, lol, well I guess that answers your next question haha. Teddy is very much intimidated by Andromeda, and in the coming chapters it really shows. I don't really think that's a good foundation to have a good relationship on, even if on the outside it seems pretty calm. 

 

Ah, yes. I do struggle a little to define the setting a little. I try to show it in little references to the time and Teddy's changing thought proesses, but I don't really know how well I've done with that, haha. As a last resort I started putting time stamps at the end of the chapters, even if it is a little immature? I think that's the word? I don't know. 

 

Anyways, thanks for reading and reviewing! I'll definitely get on the last of our swaps! xx 



Name: sibilant (Signed) · Date: 03 Aug 2019 05:26 PM · [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Play Pretend

Hey hey! Here for part two of our extended swap and for Puff-A-Claw-Polypse! :)

 

This chapter started out on a really different tone than I expected. I think it was a really smart choice to keep it a light chapter, for many reasons; Teddy is, of course, a child, and what's more, he's surrounded by other family, so he may not feel the loss of his parents so intensely right now.

 

You did such a good job writing kid!Teddy omg. I'm not sure how old he is in this chapter--probably eight or nine? But wow, you captured his playful joy so well. The beginning of the chapter with the tickling and giggling and fun was super cute. I literally cooed out loud haha.

 

I really loved the Pokemon game. It made me think about the games I used to play with my brother and sister when I was little, and reinforces how familial Teddy's relationship with the Weasley-Potter children is. I'm already invested in Teddy and Victoire's friendship; Victoire is so bold and bright, where Teddy is comparatively very soft, which is a dynamic that I absolutely adore. And Molly! I really like Molly too. She seems perhaps a bit more timid? I wonder if she will be a consistent presence in the story.

 

I'm most intrigued by Andromeda and Teddy's relationship. From the first chapter, I thought that Teddy cared a lot for Andromeda and that they were very close--like she was a pseudo-mother to him. But this chapter makes me feel like perhaps that relationship is more complicated than that? She seems very strict, which doesn't set up a good relationship. The contrast in Teddy's dynamic with Ginny and Harry and his dynamic with Andromeda was so striking--Teddy seems to blosson and soften around Harry and Ginny, but wilts and retreats around Andromeda. I'm really curious to follow this interaction through! I'm also especially struck by Teddy calling Harry "Dad". Like I said, I feel like Teddy hasn't really registered the loss of his parents partly because he's a child and also because he's surrounded by so many other loving people.

 

I'm already getting excited about this story, considering the complicated and nuanced familial relationships featured (which are absolutely, as you know, My Jam). Great chapter!

 

<3 Shreya



Author's Response:

Yes, I agree! Teddy is still very affected by event he witnessed, but it doesn't show as continuously as most people think. Or it might, but as always, everyone's experiences are different. 

 

I'm so glad you think I got the children right! I'm personally not a child anymore, so it took a bit for me to really get into their minds and think about what kids would think about. 

 

You're not wrong though! Teddy does care a lot for Andromeda, but they're not as close as one might they are. Andromeda is lot stricter and is not as kind as most people would headcanon her to be, and I took artistic liberties with her because that was the way I wanted to write the story. There are a lot of (sometimes unintentional) parallels between the healthy relationships that Teddy does have and his relationship with Andromeda, haha. So look out for those, I guess. 

 

If you really like these sorts of complicated relationships, then this really is the story for you! My intentions for this story originally were to explore what consititutes healthy relationships and what sorts of actions are justified by love and what aren't, etc. 

 

Thank you for reading and reviewing! xx



Name: sibilant (Signed) · Date: 31 Jul 2019 01:22 AM · [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Nightmare

Hi hi! Here for part one of our review swap/your review request :)

 

Haha, reading this so soon after finishing Home threw me a little. I need to adjust my model of Teddy from Home!Teddy and Glass!Teddy. Immediately, you set up a very interesting and compelling start. I love mystery novels, and read a ton of them, and I see a lot of the qualities of some of the really good mystery novels in this first chapter--fractured, disorienting details, hyperfixation on small details, etc.

 

I think you did a really good job setting the calm before the storm, with Teddy as a child, and the eerie silence. Your descriptions there were great. I loved how you described the actual murder--it was actually a little bit heartbreaking and so intense. 

 

Omgggg. I got so excited that Remus and Tonks were alive AND THEN YOU KILLED THEM. WHAAAAT. Talk about an emotional rollercoaster omg.

 

I'm still sort of reeling from this chapter haha. I actually gasped out loud. So this was an excellent start, and I'm looking forward to reading more!

 

<3 Shreya



Author's Response:

Hi!

 

No, yeah, I understand! Home!Teddy and Glass!Teddy are similar yet so very different! Even I sometimes have a hard time differentiating between them, but the differences between them really really matter. 

 

I'm glad you liked the first chapter! It was very mysterious and freaky, but I also don't want to mislead you into thinking that it was a mystery novel of sorts, lol. The first chapter was more about highlighting this specific event in his life that traumatized him!

 

A lot of people are angry about me killing off Remus and Tonks, and honestly I thought I'd have a hard time writing that, but that came really easily to me! So what does that say about me?

 

Thank you for reading and reviewing! 



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 14 Jul 2019 02:58 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Creatures of the Dark

Oooh! Hope like Remus' mother! For some reason I never made that connection? Maybe because I'm too focused on my own headcanon for Remus' mother and I tend to forget her canon name? And yes, I know this is completely irrelevant to the chapter, also because in this story Teddy doesn't even really have a sister (which is a pity, because I bet it would have made dealing with things easier... losing your parents when you are an only child is makes it even worse!)

Okay, sorry for the useless digression... let's start again...

Hello, dear! Here for our swap! :)

But... what did you do with this chapter?!

I'm not sure what the worst part was... if the fact that Leo died at all, if the way Teddy found out (on his birthday, no less)... if the absolutely terrifying nightmare that followed... is he really blaming himself for his parents' death? He must know that there was nothing he could've ever done... but of course knowing these things rationally doesn't help being convinced in the deep of your subconscious feelings... it's all even more terrible because he could've grown up into a loving, supportive family... and now the guilt for what happened to Leo is going to add up... why did you kill him?! He was the one good thing Teddy had in his life!!! Why?!

I also really, really wish that Teddy had explained what exactly he'd seen on the news. To Ginny, or even to Andromeda. I can understand why he wouldn't though... it's so hard to voice those things, especially when they are so fresh and you are still in shock. It still makes me so sad that Teddy refuses any support he might get (this is not the first time he does so).

The way he snapped to Andromeda... again, I can understand it, it's a normal reaction. But even if Andromeda wasn't the kind of person she is, any parental figure would've got angry at that kind of outburst. At least at first. I hope they'll talk it through? Although I think it's too much to hope for...

This was so heartbreaking... I'm just so, so sad now... hope you are proud...

Great writing, btw. It was incredibly gripping!

Thank you for the swap!

Chiara



Name: ReillyJade (Signed) · Date: 14 Jul 2019 12:42 AM · [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Creatures of the Dark

Hello, darlin'! Here w/ your Chapter 6 request! 

 

I don't know what it was about the introduction for this chapter, but it gave me a feeling of dread. I think it had something to do with Teddy's mindset about birthdays never really changing anything... it just gave me bad vibes. Like, on this particular birthday, something would change, and not in a good way. And then THAT happened... ugh. It was like a punch to the gut. What made it so effective was that I, like Teddy, was completely taken aback by the news. (Yes, I know I just said I thought something bad was going to happen, but that certainly was not what I was expecting.) It did seem very unlike Leo to be late, so I should've figured something was wrong, but I almost couldn't believe something could've happened to Leo considering he's the ONE good thing in Teddy's life. Omg. :( 

 

Somehow, I feel like Teddy's interactions with the Potters are even more heartbreaking (or at least an equal amount of heartbreaking). Despite his politeness and their obvious warmth, he's just so removed from them. Like, he's physically there, but emotionally... he just isn't. It's really said, since it's so apparent how much they all love him.

 

I think they nightmare at the end about his parents (which was incredibly well written, by the way) made Leo's death all the more poignant. While Leo's death obviously isn't Teddy's fault, I can understand why, in the moment, he was blaming himself; I think anyone would. But, when the nightmare reminds him about how his parents' deaths are "his fault" (they're totally not!), it just shows how deeply Teddy is locked into this vicious circle of pain and self-loathing. I really, really hope things start to look up for him soon. This poor kid needs a break!

 

Cheers,

Reilly



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 13 Jul 2019 04:36 PM · [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Happier Times

Hello! It’s been so long that you’d probably forgotten you even requested a review from me in the first place, but here it is! I’m so sorry for taking this long!

 

Ahhh, Teddy being the last one not paired up for a partner project is bringing up all sorts of buried memories of middle school, ahahaha. So I sympathize. Poor Teddy.

 

Observation: Teddy seems unusually focused on this boy’s smile. In the future this will totally become a crush. I’m probably about 100% sure.

 

The fact that Teddy procrastinates for five hours working up the nerve to ask his Gran if he can go meet  up with someone to work on a school project says a lot. The nature program he’s watching seems to be escapism at its finest.


Teddy’s behavior and thought patterns really make sense for the type of abuse he receives from his Gran.  The way he second-guesses himself all the time and his sense of self worth is so low, the way he tries to  make himself invisible and not make waves, that’s exactly the effect I’d expect considering his Gran’s  criticism, and neglect of his emotional needs, etc. This kid needs to see a therapist, stat. I’m worried about  him :( Anyway in my opinion the way you’ve written how he’s adapted to this trauma is very believable.

 

Leo has “dreamy” eyes? I take that back about what I predicted of Teddy’s “future” crush on him, he has  a crush *right now*, and it’s adorable.

 

I love that the character in their story takes on a life of her own and becomes someone they weren’t  expecting her to be. True facts about writing.

 

Aw, it’s sad (though not unexpected) that Teddy can’t stay longer to work on that story with Leo! But…  perhaps his Gran has a point because I think Teddy would stay out there for hours working on that story  with his new friend/crush if he didn’t have to leave, haha. And then he actually wouldn’t do his other  homework. Still, I hope they have time to work together on it more later. It’s nice to see Teddy having fun  and not being stressed. He’s just a kid, so it’s great when he can just relax and be a kid.


Great chapter!



Name: VaguelyCreativeName (Signed) · Date: 12 Jul 2019 09:01 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Would I even be okay?

Hey sunshine, I’m finally here with the review you requested! I’m sorry it took so long…

 

I saw that you won ‘Most Inclusive Story’ in the Nargles, so congratulations! It’s so well deserved! Now onto the very delayed review: I love how at the start of the chapter, you’ve pretty much put individual sentences as separate paragraphs, I feel like that really reflects Teddy’s exhaustion and distress over Leo’s death, if that makes sense. Like, Teddy is so tired and miserable that he can’t bring himself to connect his thoughts, there’s no coherence in his life anymore, sort of like Leo was the glue holding it all together, and now with him gone, Teddy just notices things sporadically without really connecting with any of them. I might be reading entirely too much into this, but that’s what it felt like to me and I thought it was an ingenious, incredibly clever way to reflect Teddy’s emotional state in your narration.

 

It’s so sad to see how he gets treated at school, and I don’t really know what’s worse, the other kids staring and laughing at Teddy or the English teacher trying to make him feel better by giving him Leo’s story but refusing to acknowledge Teddy’s suffering and not talking to him. At least Vega tries to comfort him, and I wonder if she’s gone through something similar to Teddy, since she said she knew what he felt like, and since she seems to be able to read Teddy’s reactions quite well for never having talked to him before. Of course, she can’t fill Leo’s shoes, but it’s good to know that there is at least someone at school who’s willing to look out for Teddy.

 

The interaction between Teddy and Andromeda was really interesting – it’s good to see Teddy finally standing up to his Gran, and confronting her about her behaviour, even if she brushes him off and admonishes him, and even makes Teddy doubt for a moment whether Leo even ever existed. At the same time, it doesn’t seem like she’s being deliberately hurtful or obtuse, so I really wonder what’s going on there... Maybe she has some form of early on-set Alzheimer’s? But Teddy is so sure of his Gran not being sick, it’s very puzzling.

 

All the ways in which Teddy tries to avoid thinking about Leo, like how he desperately throws himself into his coursework, and how he avoids sleep because he’s afraid of nightmares are so very deeply sad. His dread the next morning about having to get ready for the day, when even having to make himself look presentable is too much of an effort, like an insurmountable task is very real, too, and I liked how the Potters’ visit brought out so many complicated feelings for Teddy, like how he knows they’re not trying to make him feel uncomfortable, but that doesn’t mean that he feels any less so, and how his instinctual reaction to Harry and Ginny questioning his Gran’s parenting abilities is to defend them, even when moments ago, Teddy was criticising Andromeda himself. Like, at the moment, Teddy’s emotions are understandably a whole complicated mess, and it seems like he doesn’t always know how he will respond.

 

And, God, Andromeda really can be so horrid, there’s no way around it. She’s making Teddy feel awful about the littlest things, and she absolutely shows no compassion for him, like the way her housekeeping appears to others is more important to her than her grandson’s wellbeing, even after he’d finally told her that his best friend died only the night before, she doesn’t care that he’s been struggling and missing school because he can’t cope, but only that his marks have dropped because of a few missed assignments. She can be a horrible, horrible person in the way she treats Teddy, and I’m glad Harry and Ginny were finally present to witness the abuse she puts him through and to hopefully intervene in a meaningful way.

 

Also, all there were so many little details about Teddy’s emotional state in this that were absolutely heart-breaking, like how he seems to constantly blame himself for Leo’s death, and how he seems to revert into old patterns with the way he dissociates so utterly and frequently; I feel like we hadn’t witnessed that quite as much in recent chapters, but with Leo gone, Teddy reverts back into the behaviour he exhibited in the first couple of chapters, before Leo drew him out of his shell.

 

This was such a deeply sad, but fantastic chapter! Much Love,

            Julia



Name: toomanycurls (Signed) · Date: 10 Jul 2019 06:52 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Nightmare

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M SHOUTING?????????????

I've read a lot of AUs where Remus and Tonks are alive post-DH BUT YOU'RE THE FIRST ONE TO KILL THEM AFTER LETTING THEM LIVE. How could you??? I need to go change my answer to your knife/flower poll :P 

So, obviously I'm a bit hooked on this and have a lot of questions. You are not allowed to give me hope and happiness about Teddy being raised by his parents only to rip it all away. :( :( :( :( :(

Did Teddy have a nightmare or a vision or both? I really felt like I was in the moment with him through the confusion and fear -- you showed all of that really well. 

You gave me all the emotions with this and I'm really glad I picked this to read. 

-Rose



Author's Response:

L M F A O  THIS IS THE FUNNIEST REVIEW I’VE GOTTEN!! I’m glad to have gotten the honor of first then, lol. Suddenly the distribution on that poll makes a lot more sense cause I got people who thought I was scary for real!

 

It was a nightmare! He was reliving the events, haha!

 

Thanks for reading, I hope you continue to! xx

 

 



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 09 Jul 2019 01:45 AM · [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Would I even be okay?

Hey! Here for our second swap! :) 

 

This is such a heavy, heavy chapter. There is so much packed in here, from Teddy going back to school to him encountering his Gran's dementia to speaking with Leo's mum to Harry and Ginny's visit... everything has really bogged him down, and I feel so bad for Teddy. 

 

I relate to this chapter quite well, unfortunately, when I lost someone really close to me. Going back to normal life was bizarre and isolating and everything felt really empty. There were people, like Vega, who reached out, and while I appreciated the gesture, I was a little wary of them like Teddy is with Vega. (Sidenote, I think they could have a great friendship if Teddy lets her in, and I'm really hoping so with how things are going with him.) And then talking of funerals is a bit of a disaster, too, because that's really the last thing you want to think about, and it kind of finalizies the death of the loved one... But what really got me was Teddy double guessing whether or not Leo was real. After all, that person is gone forever, and your brain has a hard time processing it. Where they ever there? Can you remember the sound of their voice or what they said that one time? Teddy's Gran does not help the situation at all with her denying Leo's existence, and I'm lucky enough where that hasn't happened to me, but I have been in a situation where someone remembers my loved one in a different way than I have, and this person is trying to manipulate me into thinking differently about my loved one, doubting myself... it's such a horrible feeling, one that I don't wish on anyone. I suppose what I am trying to say is that you have written Teddy's sense of loss incredibly well here, and I can relate to it so much.

 

Another thing that I am curious about is how Leo's story is going to end. I hope that Teddy continues it, as a way to honor Leo's memory. Plus, this is where Teddy found some happiness. And I've found that writing has been very therapeutic for me (that's how my novel WIP, A Place Not Far From Here got started). It may be painful now for Teddy to write the rest of their story, but I hope that one day, he'll be able to revisit the story and continue.

 

I'm curious to know the access to mental health that Teddy has... now that Harry and Ginny are finally a little more in tune with what's going on, I hope they pull through and help him in a way that he so desparately needs. 

 

Another heartbreaking but well written chapter!

 

[PS I just got your lovely review on AWP. I'd be happy to swap-- but my review for our third swap will have to wait until later this week... gahhh! I can't believe that I'm only one chapter away of being all caught up!]



Author's Response:

I cannot tell you how much this review helped me out though. I've felt down before, but grief is a foreign feeling for me, and I wasn't sure just how well I got grief across. I'm super glad that you were able to relate to it, and it eases a few of my worries about not showing grief enough. I absolutely did my research before trying to write it, but the articles I read were more intellectual than they were emotional, and it was hard to translate something intellectual into feeling, you know? I also read this chapter more times than I can count, and at a certain point it just felt like rereading and I was compltely unable to guage the emotions going on here, and as a result, I didn't really know how to improve it. 

 

This chapter was very intentional, but for Teddy it was just a whole mess for him. There were too many things going and a lot emotions that he didn't know how to deal with so it all sort of exploded at the end. His Gran... hm. At this point, a little less than half the things she does and says are unintentional, but the impact of her actions clearly show with how Teddy feels about her and everything around him. 

 

Right now, I think the thought of Leo's story will hurt a lot for Teddy to think about, as it was a place of happiness, and it just reminds him of what he just lost. I think one day, he will be able to come back, but right now, I don't think it's possible for him.  As for us both, I know that writing is incredibly therapeutic! That's how this novel began for me as well! But I think it'll be a while before it becomes that for Teddy, if at all. 

 

Thank you for your lovely review, and thanks for reading too! xx



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 07 Jul 2019 08:46 PM · [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Song and Dance

Back for our swap! :)

Okay, but... what is it with the knife thing? Where were all those tragic thoughts coming from? Is it about the way his parents died? Or just some stupid trick of his mind for no apparent reason? And is it somehow related to the Burrow incident? I'm sensing a pattern there...

It was nice to see Teddy and Leo attempting to cook together, though. I really just enjoy seeing Teddy and Leo together in general. :) And I love that Leo has so many interests as well, he's such a cheerful, positive force. :)

I was surprised by the family tree... also, I wonder why Andromeda wasn't cut off in this reality... wasn't her marriage with Teddy seen as a betrayal in this? It seems like there is a story behind it, and I'm curious to know... I'm actually very curious about any background regarding Andromeda, because she's still a bit of a puzzle to me in this story...

Talking of which... what was that whole coffee shop scene about? Why did she suddenly decide that she wanted to spend time with her grandson? And what is it about her asking who Leo was? It almost felt as if she was another person entirely? I really have trouble figuring her out...

But it's nice that she took the time to read the story and that she complimented Teddy for it, at least? And that she seemed to genuinely care for once? Anyway, whatever...

The scene when Leo almost got run over by a car was indeed scary, glad his mum was quick to stop him. Poor Teddy, watching the whole thing, it must've scared him to death... but nothing bad happened, so it's all good.

Another interesting chapter. Thank you so much for swapping.

Lots of love,

Chiara



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 07 Jul 2019 07:48 PM · [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Through Fishbowls

Hi! Here for our swap! :)

One thing I need to say straight away: I love Leo! He's such a fun and sweet kid and he seems to be such a good friend for Teddy! I'm so glad that he and Teddy found each other and became so close, it's nice that they can watch out for each other, especially since it looks like they are already being targeted by bullies? Or at least, it looks like Teddy is? Which doesn't really surprise me, considering how wary and insecure he seems to be... :(

I found your take on the houses interesting. I would've never thought to apply the same concept of houses to a Muggle AU, but why not, after all? I love that Leo and Teddy are from opposing houses but are still best friends. Interesting how they don't really fit in their houses' archetype, either. But of course, Leo, since you have that name and that zodiacal sign, you could only belong in the house of lions :P

The Burrow scene saddened me a lot. The way Teddy was feeling so out of place and so anxious of being a burden... and then the way he panicked while washing the dishes... someone should tell him that it's okay to make mistakes... but I suppose that's not what Andromeda has thrust into his head... :/ I wish he would at least open up with Ginny or some other adult, they might be able to help... :( I'm glad calling Leo helped distracting him, at least...

Nice chapter. I'll move on to the next now.



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 06 Jul 2019 01:36 PM · [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Creatures of the Dark

Hey! Here for part five of our first swap! (Thanks for your patience!)

 

Noooooo! Poor Teddy!!! And Leo?! What?! That can't be. Oh my goodness, this is so devastating. Is it impossible for Teddy Lupin to ever catch a break? 

 

I like how nuanced the beginning of the chapter is, with Teddy finally going to the Potters after a long time apart. The Potter kids are adorable here, and Teddy is so understanding of how they act, though I think he's a little oblivious to how much they idolize him. Teddy is really polite, having let Albus lean on him and everything, but that also showcases that he doesn't make his boundaries clear. While it might now "matter" as much in this situation, it will later on. I love how you make Teddy's most endearing qualities also some of his biggest flaws, too. It goes to show that personality traits are on a spectrum, and somtimes they're over/under emphasized.

 

Leo... that... ugh. Poor Teddy. I'm devasted because Leo brough such light to Teddy's life, and I loved every scene with him in it. I really, really hope that Teddy gets some counseling because of this. I think to myself: Why are Ginny and Harry seem so oblivious to Teddy's hardships, especially if Harry was in a similar situation in his childhood? But then again... I think this shows how misunderstood Teddy feels, so this addition of the Potters is necessary. And then his Gran... oh Andromeda. She needs help, too, but I fear that she's too prideful to get it, and it's really taking a toll on Teddy...

 

As for the dream, I think this is the most heartbreaking aspect of the chapter. Speaking from experience, having dreams about departed loved ones can range from heartfelt to absolutely terrifying, and I think you capture this range well. This is such a difficult topic to write about, and I think you do it justice. 

 

This is such a sad chapter, and I really hope that Teddy is on the path to wellbeing soon. I'll be back soon with our second swap---and to see what happens, of course!



Author's Response:

Teddy Lupin will catch a break! Just not now. A few more other things have to happen first, and then things will get better. 

 

Yeah, Teddy doesn't know how to enforce his boundaries much because he hates the fact that he might make others angry, so he just doesn't. And yeah, you're right, it does become a pain in the neck. You're so right about personality traits being on a spectrum though, it's not usually like you have cherrypicked virtues and flaws that are completely different from each other, they all relate in one way or another! 

 

I've gotten a lot of comments on Harry and Ginny's behaviour and though I have reasoning, it's a little hard for me to explain. They do notice, but for a few reasons, they don't act. It's just that a lot of Teddy's struggle is internal so his family doesn't see a lot of it, and what behaviors he does show, come off as just as a part of Teddy, just nothing too much to be worried of, you know? There is also the fact that they don't see Andromeda as often as Teddy does, so her toxicity is a lot harder to put down. Not to mention, even if Harry and Ginny wanted to take care of Teddy, they have to deal with the situation in a way that considers Teddy's own thoughts and feelings. It's... a flawed sort of reasoning, but Harry and Ginny aren't perfect, but they are willing to try, and that makes all the difference. To Teddy anyways, eventually. 

 

Teddy has quite a few dreams, but they're not all nightmares. There's a whole range of things going on there. 

 

I hope I answered or cleared some of your doubts. I had to keep it vague, for Reasons. 

 

Thanks for reading! xx



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 02 Jul 2019 02:21 AM · [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Song and Dance

Hey! Here for your swap! 

 

It's always so nice to jump back into this story. It's so well written. Sure, the subject matter is a difficult topic, but you write it with such boldness. You don't shy away from these feelings, and you really highlight the struggles people with anxiety (and who are living in toxic situations) have. 

 

One line that particularly got to me was this: He felt like a slave to everything but himself.

 

I mean... yes. Everything about this is... yes. It is so, so true. The powerlessness that Teddy feels about everything. I do want to give him a hug, but I know that it would only be a band aid for everything. I feel so helpless reading this line.

 

This is nothing negative against your writing. What you've done is portray something that is incredibly effective. It's a lot to process at once, and it makes the reader feel something that maybe they were expecting or would consciously think about or feel. As a writer, you're challenging the readers, which is something I absolutely adore in a story.

 

I like how you have some contrast between Leo and Teddy's interaction and then Teddy and Andromeda's intereaction. You made me really tense with the café scene, because I wasn't sure if she was going to get some type of revenge on Teddy for having a good time with Leo, but I was relieved that it wasn't. SUre, having that suspicion isn't a good thing, especially with a caretaker involved, but I also like how you incorporate some good moments, because there are some good moments, even if Teddy is always walking on eggshells around her.

 

The ending was intense with Leo almost walking into oncoming traffic, Yikes!!!

 

What another great chapter. I'll be back soon for part five of our swap (and then our second swap, lol). :)



Author's Response:

Thank you so much, omg. It's in fact really hard to believe that there are people who like this story outside of myself! 

 

Hmmmm that line is really a favorite of mine, tbh. It perfectly summarizes what I often feel when it feels like my emotions are controlling me instead of the other way around. And yes! I want the reader to know these things instead of assuming them! I want them to know that this is how Teddy feels, and that there isn't any other correct interpretation of it! 

 

I'm glad you noticed the difference! In essence the purpose of both excursions (used loosely) are meant to give Teddy a fun time, but instead it really shows who Teddy is more comfortable around being. 

 

Thanks for reading! xx



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 25 Jun 2019 04:11 AM · [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Through Fishbowls

Here for part three of our swap! Thank you again for your patience!

 

This has been another brilliant chapter. I'm curious to know what you chose to put your timeframe in the author's notes at the end. Is it so that the reader can figure out the age and place of Teddy's life that this chapter takes place in? I do enjoy trying to figure these things out, since this information isn't spoonfed to me as a reader.

 

If Teddy's attitue towards running in the opening of the chapter isn't a mood, I don't know what is. I relate to his dread and exhaustion so much. Also, Teddy changing in the showers. I understand he's shy, but I hope that's it and that there's nothing else more sinister than that. What I really find interesting is that he's in Slytherin. I wonder if it really is due to Andromeda's domineering presence in his life. I like the snarky little Slytherin Teddy exhibits, though. I think that suits his personality so well. :)

 

I like the celestial theme of this chapter. From the opening with the clouds to Leo and Teddy's discussion on the universe to the discovery of the new planet at dinner. It is so apparent about the amount of thought that you have put into this story, and I am quite in awe of it. How do you find these almost unassuming themes that fit so seamlessly together?

 

Teddy's anxiety attack at the end is devastating. You can tell that he's uncomforatble from the get-go, and now I'm wondering how much Ginny and Harry actually see with Teddy's condition and what they're able to do about it. I'm glad that he's able to call his best friend, that's for sure. Leo seems to know how to talk to Teddy, how to get him feeling a functional normal, if only for a little while. Their friendship is amazing.

 

Even though it must be hard to write, I really feel like you do Teddy's mental health justice. I want him to receive that help that he deserves so badly, and I'm really intrigued to see where you take us next! I'll be back soon for the last two reviews of our swap! :)



Author's Response:

Yup, that's why I put the time frame! I've had a few readers tell about how vague the time of the setting was, and this seemed like the quickest remedy. 

 

I... hate running. So much. My middle school P.E. teacher loved giving us laps though, and I was always out of breath by the end of it. Unfortunately, it was also a class I had in the morning so I was tired for the rest of the day too.

 

Ooh! It's funny you mention that, because he does have some similarities of Andromeda's, but I think in Teddy's character they shine in a more positive light. I'm also glad to hear that you like Slytherin Teddy, that headcanon is my favorite! 

 

Okay, but your comment of the celestial theme had me laughing for days. That's nothing on you of course, but I didn't even realize that this chapter had a theme until you mentioned it! I suppose I did that unintentionally, lmao. 

 

Ah, yeah, the fact of his uncomfortable-ness from the beginning is part of what fueled the attack in the first place, the noise was just a catalyst. Teddy certainly has a friend in Leo, that's for sure. 

 

I'm super glad to hear that you think I do his health justice. I wonder a lot about if I'm even doing it right, and that... makes for a lot of setbacks in terms of writing this story. 

 

Thanks for reading! xx



Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 24 Jun 2019 12:02 AM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Glass Chapter: Nightmare

Hi! I stopped by from the forum review request. 

 

The way you started the story themed on Teddy is very original and unique. I feel it a bit or much of suspense. Gran is the relative of Bellatrix and Narcissa, I couldn't stop imagining each expression from your writing. I could catch the protagonist's care about her. At the same time, the mood is full of his anxiety, it indicates something bad might happen or really happened in the past?

 

In the middle, I wondered if Teddy dreamed their parents as Ginny and Harry, 'cause according to HP canon, Harry became his godfather and Tonks and Lupin died at the battle of Hogwarts. I imagined Ginny was busy with reporting about Quidditch articles and Harry was off his Auror's job and helped her to do the dishes. Then it turned out they were Tonks and Lupin! I hastily checked the tags under the banner and made sure it would contain AU, and it did make sense. 

 Wait, did Teddy kill his parents accidentally? I am afraid his werewolfness appeared and tragedy happened.  I hope not.  A cliff-hanger beginning!

 

K



Author's Response:

Hi! Yes, "Gran" is Andromeda, so you are correct! I'm glad you were able to catch onto the mood of the first scene! 

 

Ah, yup, in this AU, Teddy doesn't go to Harry and Ginny quite yet. He stays with Andromeda for quite a while. 

 

I'm a little surprised that you think that Teddy would have killed his parents! Now I'm just imagining a tiny four year old running around with a knife. But no, it was not Teddy who killed his parents! 

 

Thank you for reading and reviewing! xx



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