Quodpot Review Match 2
Hi! I stopped by after seeing the intriguing banner with a red haired girl. As I expected you did a great start with mystery that the protagonist's DADA teacher's secret was revealed.
I believe McGonagall had a great trust in Professor Blackburn like Dumbledore did when Lupin was at Hogwarts. It seems that Rose had a trouble with the other student called Dora. I got curious to know what had happened between them. I guess there might be discrimination or something mean for Rose as her father felt in a similar way against Slytherins. I'm looking forward to find what happened actually in the class.
The scene with Hugo is interesting for reading. You described exactly the attitude of her brother who is jealous and eager to know about Hogwarts which he couldn't attend for his age. He couldn't wait for using magic and watching the Quidditch games.
The children wish to be a person their parents want to be. Hugo is no exception. I hope he would be sorted into Gryffindor as he wishes.
The last spot sounds so ominous. "This is only getting started". Hermione's prediction was right in the past in the book 5. I'm very intrigued to know the next.
Thank you so much for the review. Really glad to see this story getting some attention. It's the second in a series, so naturally a lot of people don't get to it.
Yes, the situation between Rose and Dora took place in their first year, in The Writing on the Wall, but I think the animosity between them will become clear as this story progresses anyway as there are a couple of occasions when they yell at each other about things that happened the previous year or when Rose reminds people of her reasons for disliking Dora. There's a little more to it than just Rose being prejudiced against her.
And yes, being the younger child, Hugo wants to have all the experiences his parents and older sister had/are having.
Oh, things are definitely only getting started. They are about to get increasingly nasty.
Thanks so much for the review.
Hi, Margaret! It was kind of you to stop by, read and review Monster, so I wanted to return the favor. Not a lot of activity on HPFT so far.
The apples didn't fall far from the tree with Rose and Hugo, I see. She reminds me so much of her mother, with her inquisitive nature, her desire to get ahead in school and her righteous indignation. Hugo, for his part, has his father's impatience and some of the same insecurities. He seems pretty down on the Puffs. I know some folks who aren't going to like that. ;)
Loved this exchange:
“Don’t tell me you’re going to read it,” Hugo moaned.
“That is what people usually do with papers.”
Seems that very little has changed with Rita Skeeter over the years. You nailed her writing style, right down to the casual dismissals of any contrary piece of evidence that she even chooses to acknowledge.
Remembering the malice in Dora’s voice when she’d said Blackburn would regret reporting her, Rose had no doubt she’d leaked the information. Her only question was how Dora could have known.
OK, I have to admit I've very curious about who this Dora character is and what her beef is with Professor Blackburn. It feels like there's some good back story there.
“It’ll be my fault if she is fired,” Rose said.
Another intriguing hint. Seems that Rose and this Dora person were up to something that Professor Blackburn discovered.
Good on you, Alicia! Nice to see Remus's old students coming to his defense.
I like what you've done with Hermione at the end of the chapter. She's playing the long game, which is a good tactical move against someone like Skeeter who lives from deadline to deadline.
I really liked your writing in this. In a chapter that was introductory and dialog-heavy, you did a great job of balancing things and introducing a lot of plot details that have yet to come together. It's definitely something that will keep people reading. Myself included.
Thank you so much for the review. Yeah, things are fairly quiet here at the moment, maybe partly because it's Nano time, which often keeps people pretty busy. And of course the fact that so many stories were uploaded fairly quickly and people can't get around to everything.
Yeah, Rose has a good deal in common with Hermione but there are differences too. She's grown up in a very different world and is a lot more comfortable in it, so she doesn't have all of Hermione's insecurities. There is a boggart chapter later in this story - since I would imagine they would get through the Defence Against the Dark Arts course a little more quickly without two incompetent teachers for the first two years - and her boggart certainly isn't failing everything. Rose can be annoyingly confident.
Hugo is a nine year old boy and rather more impressed by traits like bravery than by kindness, hard work and compassion. He'll probably learn to look at things differently as he gets older. Not sure what house he will end up in yet. I have everybody else figured out, except for Roxanne who is too young in my verse to start Hogwarts until after Rose and Albus will have left.
I'm really glad you think I've got Rita Skeeter's voice right. It wasn't easy. Newspaper reports aren't always easy to write anyway and then trying to channel Rita...
The Writing on the Wall is a prequel to this, but to be honest, I personally prefer this story. I think it is more original. The Writing on the Wall is more of a traditional mystery, whereas this is a mixture of a mystery and a story about discrimination, mental illness and political activism. Some of the references are to stuff that happened in The Writing on the Wall, but I don't think you'd need to have read it. There are references to events from that, but the main storyline is fairly separate. Rose was suspicious of Professor Blackburn due to her unexplained absences, the fact she was the only new teacher Rose's first year and some other odd behaviour and her investigations indirectly contributed to the "leak" here, which is why she feels guilty.
Professor Blackburn will appear, for a short time, in the next chapter and I think Dora probably appears for the first time in about chapter five when the characters return to school.
Dialogue is one of my preferred parts of writing and I generally find the more dialogue in a chapter, the less editing I need to do. Description is NOT my strong point.
Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. I have the majority of it uploaded now. There are 45 chapters in total.