Reviews For Periphery

Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2019 09:25 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter Seven

Hello, I'm here with some more love from the Magical Menagerie event! 


Chloe's so confused -- this entire Marlene-Sirius, Chloe-Sirius, Marlene-Chloe thing must be terribly frustrating. Plus, it didn't help that (especially after the library incident) she's able to admit to herself that she's actually becoming quite enamored with Sirius, only holding back for Marlene. Sirius's nonchalance about the whole thing drives me crazy -- like Chloe was a take-it-or-leave-it scenario and since he couldn't have it, he's over it. Chloe is so paranoid at Marlene finding out her feelings that she's even trying to avoid being alone with Sirius at all, which is not going to do much in the way of figuring this love triangle of love triangles out. Plus, I can't tell if Marlene's constant closeness is just really good friendship or possibly some feelings that she hasn't quite figured out herself yet -- and it's all so frustrating. 


Oof, yeah, it must've been really unnerving to be woken up in the middle of the night and informed of an attack near your home. The impending war is growing closer and closer to Chloe, and it's frightening as all heck, especially knowing what we do from the introduction (that you're chasing cannon and that everything's going to end in tragedy). Plus, having Muggle parents who don't know how a call through the Floo works, and having to wait a very heart-stoppingly long few moments for them to come around must have been terrifying. Ahh, Lily knows something, too -- maybe whatever it is exactly that is between Sirius and Marlene. 


Another wonderfully frustrating chapter, thank you! ;P



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2019 04:54 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter Six

Back with another Magical Menagerie Review!


Ah, that was quite a clever tie-in about the note from Michael and how it had essentially created a giant snowball effect that had sent everything from her sixth year into motion. This note, however, is from Marlene, which is much different than getting a note from Michael Flint. I'm happy to see that she's going to meet them at the lake, though I'm not sure I'm over what Sirius did to Chloe yet. On a similar note, it must be strange for Emily to see Chloe making friends all on her own. She doesn't need Emily, which I think is the important message here. 


And there Chloe goes again -- running away and isolating herself. Understandably, it's because she's incredibly uncomfortable (and I can't say I blame her entirely). I was very happy to see Chloe go and at least attempt to hang out with the group, but she's so strung up on little things (what if Filtch catches them, what people are thinking, etc), that she really can't enjoy herself. Although they were really just trying to be nice, there is a sense of peer pressure when it came to drinking, and while Marlene was really just trying to be her friend, she technically was speaking for her when she claimed that Chloe "didn't mind" and would drink anyway. I do really enjoy that there's this imbalance between what people think Chloe wants and what Chloe actually wants (even if she's not always sure of those things herself). 


And then there's Sirius, who is looking at her that way, which must've been sort of triggering, given his 'whatever the heck is happening, or not happening' and what he'd done to Chloe before Summer break. Plus, with Lily appraising the pair, I can't blame her for getting uncomfortable. Unfortunately, and as I said before, all this resulted in Chloe running away again, which isn't good for anyone. By the way, Pheonix Scouts was a chuckle-worthy nod, haha! 


Oh my gosh, I've never read a more frustrating Sirius before I started reading this particular piece (and don't get me wrong, I love it). It's just...for all the reason she should stay away from him, for all the reasons she shouldn't like him, for all the reasons she should hate him, for that matter...there's some sort of connection between the two that doesn't want to give. And you can clearly see that tension and connection in the "game" they played in the library, and it's driving me insane (and Chloe, too). And Sirius's win...I wonder what that will do for the future of the Chloe-Sirius conundrum. I can't imagine he'd leave her alone after all that. 


Ahhh, so frustrating and so good [insert random keyboard smash here].



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2019 04:07 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter Five

Hello, I'm back with the Magical Menagerie! O/


If anything is a consolation, it's that the 7th year Black Adders won't be around to torment her next year -- at least until after Hogwarts, with the war rolling at full-tilt and all. And I can't blame Bijou for not liking Peter, ha! I mean, of course Peter hasn't actually done anything yet and its probably mostly because of his animagus form that Bijou is reacting like this, but it's still strangely satisfying. I also can't get a read on Sirius Black, yet -- like, he's into Marlene, or isn't he into Marlene? Or is he just being a general pain in the butt? Is he into everyone? Noone? Your Sirius frustrates me (in a good way, of course). 


Even though it would have been great for Chloe to be able to hang out with some people (the girl desperately needs some more socialization), it would have been crazy for her to try to squeeze into that already over-packed compartment. Plus, Chloe's penchant for isolating herself in order to protect herself emotionally is holding strong, it seems. 


I don't think I could be more upset with Sirius right now. What was all that even? I mean, I get that he's going through some things with his parents and all that (and, of course, they are some tremendously terrible things), but why in the name of Merlin's left buttcheek would he just bring Walburga Black over to poor, keeps-to-herself Chloe and declare that she's a Muggle-born? Oofs all around. Just what did he think he was going to prove? Plus, poor Chloe is baffled, used as some sort of power play, embarrassed (and probably a little terrified of Walburga -- who would be?) and Sirius just ignores her after that. WHAT? WhAt! At least Marlene apologized for him (not that that excuses Sirius).


Ah, yes, I nearly forgot Emily after that whole exchange. Chloe certainly likes to keep her parents in the dark about things...probably for their best interest. I mean, if she had to explain why she and Emily were no longer friends, then she would have to also explain why, and I don't think her parents would actually let her go back to Hogwarts after that. All Chloe wants to do is finish her schooling and lay low, and its definitely not her fault that she keeps getting targeted out (between being attacked for being a Muggleborn and whatever the heck it was Sirius was trying to do). 


I love how quaint everything seems back at home for Chloe, almost like she wasn't a witch at all (save for the few hints of magic and the magical plant, of course). Helping out with the chores and the plants seems to be a good distraction for her, for now at any rate. And Chloe's right -- Marlene is a Muggleborn and Sirius didn't do that to her! What gives? I'm sure you'll provide us with some sort of explanation, but until then, Sirius is on the list!


Another great chapter! 



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2019 02:51 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter Four

Back for more Magical Menagerie business (don't think you've shaken me off yet) ;) . 


It's nice of Chloe to help Marlene study Herbology when she's so far ahead and prepared for the exam, herself -- having a buddy system for studying has always kept me motivated as well. Chloe's parents seem sweet, and Marlene's right in saying that it's adorable that her parents sent an owl with a stamped envelope, haha! It must be difficult for Muggle parents to send their children off to some sort of far away magical boarding school, especially when they can't quite grasp the concept of magic and how the world works. It's also cute that they had to get another puppy (or herding dog, as it be) to fill the void of having their only daughter far, far away. 


Obviously the idea of more attacks on muggle/muggle supporters (equal marriage rights activists in this particular scenario) is becoming unsettling. And Chloe is right -- it's not just happening far away to people she doesn't know, it's happened right in the sanctity of Hogwarts (to her, no less) and it could happen again (to her, Marlene, or any other person associated with Muggle blood or supporting Muggles), which is a frightening thought. I think it's also an important nod to Voldemort's uprising when more and more incidents like the ones that have occurred will pop up. 


I feel bad that Chloe doesn't want to celebrate her birthday, but I suppose after not having done so for a so long (save by way of her parents and with Emily), it becomes less of a big deal due to repetition. I also do understand that it can be difficult for people who have always excelled in school to have to deal with an average grade -- it can feel much like failure.


Also, I'm very happy to see some more Sirius-Chloe interaction! Ugh, poor Sirius, he just really was handed the short end of the stick, so to speak -- however, his disownment did provide a perfect opportunity for Chloe to learn that this particular Black wasn't following in his family's footsteps. I feel so bad for her, trying to balance her own developing feelings for Sirius (by way of avoiding them at all costs) and her friendship with Marlene (as whatever the heck is going on between Marlene and Sirius isn't clear to anyone at all). It was sweet that he gave the bottle to Chloe for her birthday, despite perhaps needing on that particular day (what with tension running high from being disowned), and I love that Chloe took it even though she has zero plans for drinking it!


Another lovely chapter -- I can't wait to read more.



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2019 05:26 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter Three

Hello! Back again with the Magical Menagerie Reviewing Event! 


I hate that Chloe is so frightened and unwanting of negative attention that she is putting herself out in order to try to avoid them. Not only is she zipping around the corridors as quickly as possible, head down and trying to stay completely unnoticed, but she's also hiding at the mere sight of the Slytherins who hurt her.  Of course, I can't blame her for doing so, it just makes me sad that she feels like she has to do those things. I also can't blame her for not wanting to be anywhere near Emily and am glad that the other empty seat in the classroom was next to Sirius ;). I'm totally here for this Marauder interaction. 


I love that Sirius is trying to make Marlene jealous, but Marlene is hardcore ignoring him (obliviously chatting it up with Lily). I also love that Chloe has so much respect for Marlene and whatever magnetism there is between Sirius and herself -- it's quite an admirable quality that Chloe has. She's so panicked and paranoid that she's somehow offending Marlene that she's even tempted to run away from the Potion's classroom. It's really a super sweet quality (one that could have saved her a lot of pain, if not for Emily), but it's also no way to live life. Thinking back to the prologue, it seems as though much of her skittishness wears off by that point, but how could it not, what with the war and everything.


I'm also very excited to see Marlene and Chloe getting to know each other more, too! It was super thoughtful of Marlene to bring her some food (who even noticed that she was missing during meals that week AND knew where she might find her), and of course, to give her a bit of company. Chloe's been really alone ever since she dropped Emily (but thank God she did). She's so skittish around Marlene (and, well, everything), which is kinda super cute. Plus, her growing feelings for Sirius don't help with that -- she's struggling so much between that and Marlene's friendship! She's not even convinced when Marlene tells her that she and Sirius are not a thing (though it sounds like Marlene is on the fence post about the whole situation, too).


Anyway, another fantastic chapter. I'm really just falling in love with this story!



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2019 04:52 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter Two

Hello -- I'm back again (with more Magical Menagerie Madness)! O/ 


The permanence of the mark must be devastating. Not only was she attacked, but Michael's use of dark magic made it so that she would always have a physical reminder that she was attacked. That's horrible. And, speaking of horrible, I have to reiterate my HOW DARE SHE, when Emily comes to visit Chloe in the Hospital Wing. While I'm happy to see Chloe sever ties with her, and really and truly let her know that she was irrevocably wrong in all of her actions (she hadn't even come back for her, when she knew she could have been injured or worse, for spoop's sake), I'm also angry that she dared to show her face after everything that went down.


I can't blame her for not wanting to say anything about the attack either -- I'd be afraid they'd retaliate with something worse, not to mention feel a bit humiliated for being in attendance of some sort of bath part with a bunch of people. I love that Marlene is being so awesome to her -- rescuing her, bringing her notes, and just generally being kind to her. She's certainly being set up as a much better friend than Emily ever was, by the looks of things. Plus, I love the little nod to Remus' lycanthropy while he's stuck in the hospital wing along with Chloe -- and she has absolutely no idea what any of it means. Marauder banter always tickles me, so I'm happy to see that there was plenty of that in this chapter, too.


A flower with an ominous symbology and a note from the Black Adder Society -- ooof, Chloe has a lot going on right now. I just hope that she can handle it all. However, I'm thinking that with Marlene and the Marauders on her side, she's going to be able to suss it out through just about anything. 


Another fantastic chapter -- I'm mildly addicted to this story, thanks ;)



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2019 04:24 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter One

Hello! I'm back with the Magical Menagerie! 


I love that this set us up with a future event and now provides flashbacks in order to explain everything, so I'm certainly excited about this. Furthermore, I really enjoy the sense of normalcy that's present in this chapter, which is a huge difference from the Prologue (which was something akin to Chloe's whole world being on fire), what with Emily's obsession with Michael Flint and your typical girl talk. It almost makes things sadder that Chloe will go from this normal, natural school life into a full-fledged war and then into the aftermath that we've seen in the Prologue. Also, I'm super curious to see what the elitist Black Adder Society is all about -- sounds very Slytherin-y.


I can't say I'm overly fond of Emily (not that you haven't done a fantastic job with her characterization in making her, of course). Her tendency to turn nasty when Chole doesn't want to do something (essentially, whenever she tells her no) is not something of an admirable quality, and I've had friends like that before. I do really enjoy Chloe's love for learning, and that she's driven enough to even have an apprenticeship at her age! I feel bad that she felt the need to cave to Emily, just because Emily was essentially throwing a fit. 


Eesh, I would be sweating bullets if I'd gone to a party only to be led into the baths. I do love how skeptical Chloe is about everything, too -- like it was a trick and there actually wasn't any party to begin with and that the mermaids in the portrait would rat them out. Also, I do feel her -- she's risking her apprenticeship and her sleep in order to appease Emily (and now they're being led into the bathroom, of all places). 


With her escape plan to get Emily and herself out of there (though it seems that Emily didn't want to leave), I started to definitely feel bad for Chloe -- she's clearly uncomfortable there -- and that's even before Michael started talking about Voldemort. And now I know what the Black Adder Society is all about -- they're just future Death Eaters, aren't they? I wish to reject my Slytherin-y title excitement from them! Especially after they started getting rough with Emily for being a half-blood (and Chloe for trying to fight). 


I'm also SO MAD at Emily at this point, when she throws Chloe under the bus for having muggle parents after she was fighting for her. HOW DARE SHE? And then branding her with the letter M (which is both torture and assault) was certainly uncalled for, but unfortunately, something that could be expected from people who are following Voldemort. I'm glad Marlene and Co. found her to help -- also, I get the feeling that this is the start of the Marlene-Chloe friendship we heard about int he Prologue!


Lovely job -- very excited for the next chapter!





Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2019 03:27 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Introduction

Hello, I'm here with the Magical Menagerie Reviewing event. 


It was extremely easy to get invested in this prologue -- I'm dying to know more about Chole and what her role has been in the war. Aside from the obvious tidbits (being best friends with the -- currently dead -- Marlene, and having at least known and provided potions for James and Lily Potter), there's an air of mystery surrounding her that I can't quite put my finger on. I think that, largely, the reason is that I'm extremely interested in her mother's condition (the forgetting), as well as why she's lying to her mother (though I suspect it's so that she doesn't worry). What's more is that, despite having the obvious turmoil of the war's aftermath, I love that you've also added in some additional problems, including the idea of trying to make ends meet and having to worry about rent and bills on top of everything else. 


I'm excited to read more!



Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 12:48 AM · [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter Two

Hi, this is for the Magical Menagerie review

Wow! What gut-wrenching chapters. You did a great job depicting Chloe’s pain both during and after the assault. I just wanted to reach over and smack Emily. I wasn’t impressed with her first chapter (what a ditz), but now, I can’t believe she never went for help! I love the line about the poisoned flowers-just a tiny pit of poetic justice.

Marlene is not how I ever imagined her. (I always saw her as more type-A “in your face” type) but I can see their friendship developing. She’s going to be the friend that Chloe needs during this psychological trial. The flower message was a great ending for the chapter. With the herbologist angle of the character, that was an ingenious way to send a warning.


On a different note, nice job with the dialog. It’s a good pace with enough action in between to keep it interesting and easy to follow. Nice job!

Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 12:30 AM · [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Introduction

Hi, this is for the Magical Menagerie review

First I really like the description on the first paragraph “Through the criss-crossing iron (of the window) and the church steeple punctured the bellies of fat granite clouds” Great description and a nice introduction to the character’s mood, both in dealing with her mother’s illness and the loss of Jily.

The part with her mom was very emotional. You used little things, from the misplaced eggs to the open window, to create heartbreaking moments for the reader.

This leads right into the question of why doesn’t her mom like magic? Is it because it makes her uncomfortable or a deeper reason? Also, why does Chloe lie to her mother about so many major things (like her job) in her life? Is it to shield her mother from how much her life revolves around magic?

And then, of course, you had to end with a cliffhanger. “The arched doorway to the den looked like a mouth waiting to swallow me whole. “ What a great bit of foreshadowing for a life changing owl and of course, you leave us with yet another question. Why hadn’t she and her best friend been talking?

Great introduction! I’m glad you are still adding to the story.


Name: FadingAntigone (Signed) · Date: 22 Dec 2018 03:44 AM · [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter Fourteen

I love the way these scenes are knitted together. They each have their own room to breath, and though they rely on one another to move the reader forward they feel independent. It's such a unique style—really lovely.

Name: Aphoride (Signed) · Date: 04 Nov 2018 04:29 PM · [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Introduction

Hi there! :) Dropping by for our review swap! :D You know, I haven't read that many Marauders novels - so this is a lovely, different kind of thing for me to read :) 


I love how you opened this: with Chloe on her own, in her parents' Muggle house, cold and tired, scared and hoping that she blends in enough to not stand out, so that there won't be any repercutions. It really brought to life - in my mind - what Sirius talked about when in the books he says how everyone was so afraid, so nervous of other people, not knowing who was on which side, who to trust or believe or tell even simple things - where you bought bread and fruit. Even though at this point (at least, it is in canon - I don't know what you're going to do with this in your AU, but I'm assuming so until you say otherwise :P) Voldemort's dead and the war's winding down, it's hard to move past behaviours you've learned in such stressful, terrifying situations. 

I loved how in that conversation with Chloe and her mum, you really delved into the difficulty of living with one foot in each world: Muggle and magical. She hasn't told her parents anything about the truth of what's been going on - the war, the threat that that brings to her and to them; how Marlene's dead - or anything else: what her job actually is, who her friends are, what her relationship with Sirius is (though that's not specific to any magical/Muggle divide). It's so hard and it's difficult and I love that you portray her mum as being slightly unsure about using magic, even for simple things like fixing the fence. It's not a big thing, like hatred or anything, it's just a discomfort with magic, a reluctance to use it - and I love that. It's so interesting to see in a fic, because I haven't really seen someone use it before. 


You drop so. many. hints. about things that have happened and what Chloe, Marlene and Sirius are like, and I'm so so curious - I have so many questions! What happened between Chloe and Marlene? Why weren't they speaking? What was Sirius' relationship with Marlene? Why did he use the Cruciatus Curse on her (or try to)? Has Chloe always lied to her parents about the magical world, or is it something which developed gradually as she got older? 


This is such a good, fascinating start - your writing is so gorgeous and so tense and I love it - and I'm definitely going to have to come back at some point to read the rest of it :P 


Aph xx

Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 01 Jul 2018 04:41 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter Two

Transferred from the old hpff,

28th December 2016:


Hi! I came back. (As I sent a message, sorry again for the typo at chapter 2. I meant 'mark' not 'work' at the end of my review.)


 I notice the process how Chloe had to face the dark time has been well planned from the beginning. I just remembered "Outlander" TV drama when I read the spot where Chloe was forced to repeat the bullying scene. Each description is so visually well written. I felt various emotions: her anger, disgrace and fear.


 We can understand the both sides, Chloe and Emily.

 Chloe's harsh words to Emily, we think she deserves to be hated, and at the same time, I think the weak attacks the weak, not the strong. I guess it will be a big turn when or how Chloe confess the incident to McKinnon and Sirius. You faced her PTSD bravely and wrote that very carefully. Awesome!


 The Black Adder Society steals up behind her. The last message, "I'm watching" is very threatening.


 I'm eager to read next.

Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 01 Jul 2018 04:40 AM · [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter One

Transferred from the old hpff,

I'm sorry I did typos in the previous review. I meant 'Chloe, who was a Muggle-born' not 'Chloe's daughter.


 I remembered Cho and Marietta when I read the relationship between Chloe and Emily. From Chloe's POV, Emily's betrayal can't be forgiven like the way how Harry and Hermione felt when they found Marietta's betrayal. The dark time sometimes drives people mad (including me ). Emily's act also reminded me of Peter Pettigrew. The bullying scenes, generally speaking, one of the things we want to turn our eyes from. But I couldn't stop reading yours. I wanted to know what would happen next, wishing someone could rescue Chloe and Emily sooner.


 Describing some characters' accent added a kind of glow to your story. I like it.


 It's a good idea to set McKinnon and Sirius in the latter half. (Just my small question pops up, "Mc" sounds rather Scottish than Irish, I like that you set her as Irish, though.)


 The last description about her work is so unforgettable. I'll be back. :)



Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 01 Jul 2018 04:39 AM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Introduction

Transferred from the old hpff,

26th December 2016:


Hi! Thank you for offering the review swap!


 Honestly, I really enjoyed this. All the descriptions about the surrounding of the main character are perfect. I could feel the coldness of the winter air and the uneasiness of the main character from your rich words. Top of that, I can't forget the vision how her mother worried about her daughter and cared if she was alright. I've read the other stories about Marauders written from the first POV before. Yours is the one of the best.


 You expressed each character’s emotions very well, including Chloe's daughter who was a Muggle-born. And more than that, the last part, "Sirius's Cruciatus Curse" is very intriguing and mysterious. Did he use the Unforgivable Curse against Marlene? It gave me some imaginations. I wondered if he was forced to do the curse against her in front of the Death Eaters. Or did Sirius just quarrel with Marlene over the serious matter? A very promising start.



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 21 May 2018 08:47 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Introduction

Okay first of all, you have managed to obtain such a beautiful banner (and chapter image!) for this story. You’re so lucky! The fact that the graphic seemed to suit the title and summary of the story so well really made me want to read this more; I love how the text in the banner is placed at the very edge, like?? That’s so creative??? Anyway, sorry for blathering on too much about the graphics by a.leksy, you already know how pretty they are haha.


This first chapter was so intriguing. It was hard to stop after this first chapter to leave you a review, only because that last sentence was so alarming on many levels (back to that later), but I love the voice you have here with Chloe. I love that here’s this OC that we know nothing about, and then by the end of the chapter we know a great deal about her. We know what she’s like personality-wise, we know that she lies to her mum about what she’s constantly doing, we know that despite all that she tries to be a good daughter…


All the descriptions in the beginning of the chapter were really well-written, in my opinion, of when she’s making breakfast. It’s stark and cold, and is quite against the usual warmth that the thought of breakfast brings people (at least, I feel happy when I think of breakfast haha), and so it had me hooked from the very beginning.


The fact that Chloe was somehow connected to Lily and James (and mourned their deaths) made me even more interested in her as a character. Because, who is this girl, exactly? Who is she to have been best friends with Marlene, despite having not spoken to her in a while, and to have been familiar enough with the Potters to grieve them?


Not to mention, what in the world happened between her and Marlene? And why was Sirius casting a Cruciatus Curse at her?? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS. (Which I’m sure will be answered in the following chapters hehe. Which I’ll try to get to reviewing later!)


This was such a good opening chapter! Well done! <3



Author's Response:

Hi Eva!

I'm glad you like the banner. a.leksy is so talented, and I honestly cannot believe that there is an entire website where people offer up their creative services FOR FREE, for our writing.  So yes, show them love!  You are not at all blathering because these artists deserve to be recognized!

Hahaa!  Yes.  That last sentence seems to have gotten a lot of people's attention.  I wanted to really push the fact that this story is an AU, and things are going to be different than they were in the books, so hopefully that last sentence helped to drive it home!  And it is such a compliment to be told that you have a good impression of Chloe in the first chapter.  I have the habit of doing an information-dump in the first chapter, and to prevent that, I used this method for the very first time (an introductory paragraph that takes place years in the future.)  So glad to hear that it was well-received!

Thank you very much for the review!  I hope you liked it enough to check out the later chapters. <3

Name: padfootsgirl1981 (Signed) · Date: 15 May 2018 04:14 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter Ten

Love the last line! I really like how you highlighted the beginning of the terror of the First War in a very real way. Teenagers sneaking out and getting caught up in the attack and how the Gryffindors' reactions are different to the reactions of other people. Showing why they joined The Order at such a frightening time. 

Author's Response:

Thank you!!  This is where we really start to get in to Chloe's hesitation to join in the fight.  She was there for the attack, just like the others, and had the same experience--but she doesn't want to put herself in that position ever again.  I think that the Marauders (Sirius, James and Marlene especially) are impulsive enough to not fully understand the danger they're putting themselves in.  They're kids.  But Chloe is, again, on the outside and doesn't feel the same compulsion that they do.

Name: padfootsgirl1981 (Signed) · Date: 14 May 2018 05:44 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter Eight

Ooooh, very intrigued about the Marlene thing and what the Marauders want Chloe's help for!

Author's Response:

Yes!  Here is the first incident of Sirius using Chloe.  He really is such a jerk when he's a teenager, haha.  This chapter was fun to write of course--smoldering darkness and Sirius and sneaking out and him tugging on the end of her hair, come on.  Who do I think I am.

Thanks for the review!

Name: padfootsgirl1981 (Signed) · Date: 14 May 2018 05:28 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter Seven

Beautiful chapter!

I have to admit to laughing out loud when you referenced Newark-On-Trent and Laxton though, I used to live near there! It's very weird to read the names of lesser known towns that you know when immersed in the Harry Potter world! 

The anticipation of Sirius-Chloe-Marlene is building and I'm loving it!

Author's Response:

Hi again!

I totally meant to mention this in my last response--but for the library chapter, if you're interested, I wrote it while listening to the Moonlight soundtrack, especially "The Middle of the World."  So eerie and haunting and beautiful (and a really good movie)!

That's so funny about Laxton, I was literally just Googling small farming towns near where the Goblin attacks happened in canon.  Small world! :D

Oh gosh, just buckle in, because this Sirius-Chloe-Marlene anticipation is the longest slow burn in the history of slow burns.  I would get comfortable. 

Thank you for another lovely review!

Name: padfootsgirl1981 (Signed) · Date: 14 May 2018 05:11 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter Six

Ooooh loved the library scene, I was on tenterhooks. Sexual tension indeed. Sirius is far too sexy for his own good! 

I did giggle at Phoenix Scouts, I thought that was clever. 

Chloe's such a great character and it's really interesting seeing the Marauders from an outsiders point of view. 

Author's Response:

The library scene came to me randomly on a long flight, and I'm SOOOOOO glad it did, becuase let me tell you it was just fun to write.  It also is the first introduction to the complicated relationship that Chloe and Sirius will have for years.  We've established that he's attracted to her physically, but it was so much more for her.  And while she spends the rest of the school year remembering and fantasizing, he brushes it off with ease, because he's really chasing after Marlene.  But it does lay the groundwork for the fact that Sirius is attracted to her, in some small way.

Thank you!

Name: padfootsgirl1981 (Signed) · Date: 14 May 2018 01:44 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter Five

Ooooh, nice twist with Sirius there. He's definitely fallen from my good graces a bit! I really like how you write Chloe's home life! And how there are actually some parallels between her home life and Hogwarts life (letter writing, no tv, lack of technology) and how she tends plants at home and at Hogwarts!

Author's Response:

Yes!  I feel like Sirius was just a bit of a jerk in his Hogwarts years, and something that people don't pay attention to.  Yes, he was loyal to a fault to his friends, but for those outside his immediate circle, I would think he'd act a bit thoughtless towards them.  He didn't intentionally embarras Chloe, but he didn't give it a second thought to how it might make her feel.  Outing someone for their blood status, especially during those times, is absolutely not something he is entitled to.  But he was completely oblivious, and had no idea how much he hurt Chloe.  He probably never gave it a second thought, and she spent her whole summer dwelling on it.

Chloe's home life is so important to show where she comes from, and why she's afraid of the war, and doesn't want to be in the fight. I can only hope they're interesting to read because they're so integral to her story--so I'm glad that you liked this chapter!

Thanks again :D

Name: padfootsgirl1981 (Signed) · Date: 14 May 2018 01:14 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter Four

I really like how you write Sirius and how subtlely you portray the interactions between them. On the surface they can seem like the most briefest and simplest of interactions but you write them with such feeling and it really comes across how big the moments actually are for Chloe.

Great chapter again! I am on a bit of a reading binge, can you tell? Hehe!

Author's Response:

I love that you're on a binge!  Thank you, it makes me feel great!

Yes, Chloe is definitely the type to replay one tiny interaction in her head, over and over, romanticizing and second-guessing and fretting and obsessing.  (I wonder where she gets that from.  Me?  Noooo, certainly not.)  Plus it's just fun to write her and Sirius together, tbh :D

Name: padfootsgirl1981 (Signed) · Date: 14 May 2018 12:51 PM · starstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter Three

Aww I love how you write both Marlene and Chloe and Chloe's interactions with Sirius. Very intrigued to see where this story goes!

Author's Response:

Thank you!  Marlene is so fun to write, she's just the best.

Name: padfootsgirl1981 (Signed) · Date: 14 May 2018 11:44 AM · starstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter Two

I'm really enjoying this story so far! I'm liking the different take on the Marauder Era and the darker feel to it. I think you're doing a great job with it and I look forward to reading more! Ooh the floriography thing is interesting, I've never heard of that before, I will have to have a read about it. Also, just to make you aware, the chapter images aren't showing for me so far, which is a shame as I'd love to see what they are! Onto the next chapter!

Author's Response:

Yes, yes, yes, Floriography is really cool!  I read a headcanon somewhere (and this is unfortunately going to be completely uncredited, because I have no idea where it was, but it was not mine) that Neville Longbottom got really into floriography as a Herbologist, and that he used it to communicate secret messages during the second war.  I love that idea!  Maybe it will come to play in this story, but I really can't remember where I saw it, and would want to credit the right person.  Either way, floriography is a real thing, and it's very interesting.  I do indeed recommend reading up on it!

Thank you for reminding me about the chapter images.  They are the victims of the Photobucket debacle and I haven't moved them all over to new hosting sites yet.  Another thing on my ever-growing to do list.

Thanks for the review!

Name: Be My Badger (Anonymous) · Date: 24 Feb 2018 09:08 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Periphery Chapter: Chapter Four

Hello, Sarah!

Here to bring you some love during Valentine month!

What a chapter! So much is going on and you can really feel how dark the world is getting, with Muggle rights activists being attacked and Sirius being disowned and everything...

Poor Chloe, the tension when she confronted Emily... that was such a tough scene! I'm really loving her growing friendship with Marlene, though. Seeing them being normal teenagers dealing with schoolwork and exams together was so nice. :)

And the tension, even if of an entirely different kind, between Chloe and Sirius... wow! It must be so hard for Chloe, knowing that Marlene and Sirius have a relationship of some sort and feeling for him the way she does...

Poor Sirius, too. He is so heartbroken right now. I mean, who wouldn't be, if you are being completely rejected by your family? Still, it's something you don't really think about when you think about Sirius being disowned, because we are so used to see him so distant from his family... but of course it would be so hard and I love how he's never really touched by anything but how broken he is now.

And Chloe's reaction at the article, and her thoughts at Marlene's words, how she has already been a victim of the Pureblood fanatics... it's so sad and so scary at the same time!

Great work, my dear! And happy month of love!

Author's Response:

Hi, hi, hi!  Thank you for the Valentine's love :D

Yes, Chloe is completely racked with guilt for her confusing feelings about Sirius--even though it's all of her own making.  Marlene clearly displays a lack of interest in him, though his feelings for Marlene are not subtle.  It's a tricky situation to be in, but not one that Chloe needs to feel guilty about.  Still, she does.  And will continue to for far too long.

Sirius's relationship with his mother is so interesting to me.  I can't decide if I want to come out and say it directly in the story, but there are some weird Oedipal Complex issues happening with why he's chasing after Marlene.  His relationship with his mother has always been constant rejection, and he's still chasing after Marlene, even though she clearly sees him as just a friend.  It's something that I think about a lot when writing, but am not sure if it needs to be blatantly said in the story, or if it's something that belongs here in the reveiws section... ;)

Thank you very much for the review!

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