HI TAYLOR! Here with your requested review, and as you can tell by the shouty caps, I am very excited to read this. The entire concept is basically everything that I love combined--and omg you exceeded any of my expectations.
I'm really really impressed with how you've managed to combine three, really, rather different sources of inspiration. While Jake and Amy, Andie and Ben, and Lily and James' relationships and dynamics are rather similar, there's still significant enough differences that I wondered how well you'd be able to mash them together. But you did a really good job picking up on the underlying similarities, and using the differences in the works to enhance one another.
I really loved that Lily and James didn't actually talk to each other in this chapter; I think that was very good to help me get a sense of their characters and to juxtapose them against each other really well. You did such a good job establishing how although Lily and James appear so different on the surface, they're actually really similar--right from the first line, too! The two different scenes lent themselves to a really neat and natural comparison of them, and I loved all the different layers of similarity--both of their denial, their blindness, even how their friends reacted. I think you're doing a really good job building that part of the Jily dynamic.
I also loved how easily you tied in the bet aspect, without any of the associated nastiness. (I really love How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, but the whole mutual deception aspect for personal gain made me really uncomfortable, and I'm glad that in your re-telling, James at least has some personal investment in wanting Lily to fall in love with him). I was sorta hoping that it might be tied into Jake and Amy's ongoing game of trying to get more arrests than one another--but I can also see that not really working out, because that competitiveness isn't really part of the Jily dynamic...which is actually fine, because it's one of the more toxic parts of Jake and Amy's relationship, imo. (This is what I was talking about with using the differences to enhance one another; it's like you're taking all of the best parts of three really amazing things and combining them, while cutting out any of the nastiness, which makes for a final product that is so wholesomely satisfying).
I also really loved how well all the other characters' traits were combined. I saw different strategies here, depending on how well the Harry Potter characters' traits are defined canonically. I LOVED the interaction between the Marauders. I wondered how you'd work them in because neither Jake nor Ben really have that super close group of friends, you know? I was trying to figure out how you'd work in their nicknames and I loved every description of their cases (especially the pun with the forks hehe). I loved that you kept Sirius's bluntness and the closeness of his relationship with James and Peter's general craziness (omg he's such a little shit and also he was a perfect choice for Boyle haha). I also loved how you used B99 character traits to enhance characters who were less defined canonically, like Marlene and Mary. Again: using all the good in one to enhance the other. Taylor, you're basically some kind of alchemist.
And finally, because I clearly haven't rambled enough nonsense yet, I loved the humor. While I was reading this I genuinely felt like I was watching a B99 episode and like...how did you do that?! I think a lot of it was the little details; it's so clear that you've put a lot of thought into the characters and like, really understand them, and this fic could really serve as a masterguide in good characterization. I'll just list some of the things that I loved/particularly related to: Peter doing ballet, Marlene's general Marlene-ness, Mary's obsession with the Hot Goss (I RELATE), Sirius's drawer of horrors, Remus's dedication to the vending machine :')
There's a few things that I can't wait to see/hope to see in future chapters: Lily's binders!! The heist. Fawkes as Cheddar maybe?! Also the family scene in How to Lose a Guy is one of the sweetest scenes in rom com history, and I hope that there'll be some kind of parallel?
(I've watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days so many times. Too many times.
...this fic really is like some kind of dream come true).
Okay, I need to shut up now. This was SO good, and I can't wait to read more. Feel free to request more chapters--it'll give me a good excuse to bump this up on my to read list ;) Thank you for sharing!
Hey! I am here for our swap!
i absolutely love this chapter!
You are bringing together all my favourite “villain” characters and making it into a highly believable modern twist. I love how you even had Barty Crouch Jr’s little tongue tick that he had.
James sudden realization that it was Sirius cousin who is the Bella they are after really made me sad for Sirius. And my heart squeeze for James too. He loves Sirius so so much. I also really liked how Lily likes Sirius too and thinks he is a good man. The Lily Sirius friendship is one of my favs.
well well well...it *did* get smutty awful fast eh. No complaints here, you write smut really awesome and now she knows she actually cares for James. Awe. So much love for this story Taylor!
Great writing can’t wait for more!!
Hey Taylor, I'm here for our swap! So sorry I'm late.
I think I said this in my last review but I really love how you have taken all these elements from B99 and made them work for this universe, rather than just dropping all the HP characters straight into the world of B99. I haven't seen How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, so I'm not sure what elements might be coming from that. But I think all the workplace/precinct stuff you have going on is so fun. I liked the stuff about Kingsley and Dumbledore, especially the detail that Dumbledore always gives the broad picture while Kingsley handles the details. Dumbledore in canon was never one for divulging many details, so that works very well imo ;)
I love your version of James in everything you write, he's totally shameless while still being a thoughtful and lovely guy. I think you've got the perfect balance of smooth and dorky going on - because he really is a huge dork, he just happens to be pretty charming at the same time. Hahahaha.
Laser tag honestly sounds like such a fun first date? And definitely something James would be into. I was mildly surprised at Lily suggesting it at first, but then I thought it worked with her competitive nature and everything!
Ah, I'm super glad that you kept in that Sirius and James were bffs before working together! Also I have to say, James punching homophobes is literally one of my favourite things EVER to see in fanfics, so that part about him hitting someone who said something nasty to Sirius got a big thumbs up from me! And I would love to see a one-shot about that. Just saying.
Ugh there's so much chemistry between these two - as evidenced by their kiss that like, immediately turned all hot-and-heavy. I just want to shake them both for not seeing what's right in front of their faces! :P
This AU is really fun. Thank you for the swap!!
Hey Taylor, I’m here with the review you requested!
I love how the conversation flows in the girls’ bar scene! You establish the feeling of mates out for a drink, celebrating so quickly, and I love how it’s essentially dialogue only, without much description or background info, because that really matches the in-the-moment, laid-back atmosphere. I also really enjoyed how we as readers are just sort of thrown headfirst into the scene and have to figure out the dynamics between the different characters, but you provide so much info even in only the dialogue and Lily’s musings that that’s easy to do! I also find it super interesting that Mary’s the combat-boot wearing, won’t take any of your s***, power woman – often I see Marlene cast in that role in fics, whereas Mary usually gets the role of very girly-girl, gossipy kind of friend, so it’s cool to see that changed up!
You also already give us a pretty clear image of Lily, that she’s super organised and focused on her career, but also – as Five-Drink Lily would have us now – up for a bit of fun (with a comprehensive set of rules, naturally), and probably too stubborn for her own good. I’m interested to see how (or if?) Lily manages to find that work-life balance, because the fact that she’s got a twenty-five-year plan alone makes me think she probably doesn’t have much time for a social life, which kind of seems to go against some of her instincts (??) since she’s clearly well-liked by her co-workers and would probably want to spend time with them socially as well. (But I’m also more of a James myself, in that anything more than a three-day plan is unimaginable, so I’m naturally suspicious of anyone who has their life together in the way Lily seems to – either way, I’m excited to see how it plays out!)
I also love what we see from the boys’ night! I absolutely love the idea of James falling head over heels in love with Lily the moment he sees her, it’s my absolute favourite trope! Also, yay for bi James, who is clearly such a sweetheart and over-all good guy! I was worried about how they’d deal with the bet, but I absolutely love that he’s mindful of not objectifying Lily and respecting her boundaries – I also really enjoyed the detail of Peter’s cheeseboard demonstrations, at least the poor guy is guaranteed to have an audience for once, even if attendance isn’t exactly voluntary (Normally I’d say, the more cheese the better, but even I’m a bit apprehensive about home-made gouda.). I also love all the sneaky deer references in relation to James, as well as the origin of the Marauder-nicknames in this universe! That seems like a very in-character thing for them to do, and I’m kind of going to need some more info on that gun-and-fork story.
I can also confirm that the story definitely works without knowing either of the 'blanks', because it's been at least five years since I've seen the film, and all I know about Brooklyn 99 is that 'Jake and Amy' exists, and I still very much enjoyed this chapter!
Hey Taylor! :) Dropping by for our review swap - and honestly, really, it's about time I'm stopping by this story because I read every chapter as soon as it's up, I'm just super bad at reviewing :/
I've actually seen how to lose a guy in 10 days, despite generally not being a fan of rom coms at all, though I don't really remember the plot other than the basic premise (and, er, how badly it goes wrong :P), so the whole premise is really something brilliant and right up my kind of street :P And I lovelovelove this as a crossover - it works so well with James and Lily's characters and their friends' characters, and I love that it's their competitive edges which make them both agree to it (and how you make it so obvious to us, as the readers, that Lily's going to lose and James is going to win - probably, at least - despite Lily's certainty that she's going to win and James' friends' certainty that he's going to lose because there's no way it'll work.)
(Also Peter as Charles is just so much genius, I can't even :P Ahhhhh the idea of homemade gouda is just so disgusting :P)
This is only a short beginning chapter, but I love how it gives such an easy feel to the story already - I already feel like I know your characters; and you write them all so well. I love how you write the Marauders in this: how Lily's ultra competitive and tidy, how James is messy and relaxed, how Mary's scary, and Marlene's super gossipy but gives super good advice :P You've just done so so well at combining HP characters with BB99 characters, and it works so well? Like, they're just as recognisably themselves as HP characters as they're clearly their BB99 counterparts and I love that. It's a really clever thing to have done - and it'd be easy to let one voice slip over into a BB99 character but you've kept it so in character and I love it.
Omg the idea of Remus stopping a car chase like that :o oops? Well, I mean, I guess it worked, right? But, yk, I can only imagine the scenes in the courtroom when he told that story to a jury of his peers and a judge :P
Your writing in this is so so good. Like, humour is hard to do, but you've nailed that kind of jokey, half-laughing, half-serious kind of sitcom tone and it's perfect. Everything is perfect: it flows beautifully, it never feels stilted or forced. I don't really know how you've done it, because I find it impossible to do, haha, but you've just... this is a sitcom in story form and it's amazing.
I will definitely, definitely be back. I promise! :)
Hi, Taylor! Here for our swap! :)
Okay, I'm not a smut person at all, but... wow! The chemistry, the understanding between them... incredible! They are just so perfect for each other and that's all I will say on the matter. (I loved the side thoughts about how Lily wanted to argue, and how she really shouldn't have felt the way she did, and how she really wasn't acting like she was supposed to to win the bet... ah, Lily, you are so going to lose that bet, honey!)
Back to the start. I love all the case-related stuff. and all the parallels with canon! I would've never guessed the guy they arrested was Barty, but as soon as you revealed it I knew Bellatrix was the woman working with him. I loved all the tiny details, like the Living Death. All so good, you really thought it all out so brilliantly. And I can't wait to see how the investigation will move on (and if Lily will manage not to disappoint Dumbledore on the "her relationship with James won't affect her work" point... :P)
Btw, I love how you explained their interrogation style together, how Lily would play good cop and James bad cop at first, and then they would reverse their roles and set the suspect off. I can see that playing out pretty well. ;)
Snape is just... Snape. I loved seeing him thrown in the mix. The vulture is such a good nickname, too. Of course he would be prying on Lily and trying to set James off, that's so typical. Really, I love the role you've given to all the canon characters into this AU of yours, everyone is so perfectly recognizable and in character and I just love all the parallels (I'm repeating myself, I know... but it's all true...)
The dinner scene was lovely! James' cooking, Lily's sudden excitement for Mario Kart, the whole washing the dishes scene... Did I already say that they are perfect for each other?
I love this story! It's brilliant in so many ways and I have to commend you for your style, characterization and creativity. It's wonderful, really!
Thank you so much for swapping, always a pleasure! <3
Lots of love and snowball hug,
i can't with these two. can they be more cute together??? this whole exchange at the start and especially lily's mental comment about how it's both infuriating and impressive that james keeps all of the things/details related to handling a case in his head is….so very relatable (i would know – i usually work on at least five (right now it’s seven but who keeps count lol) different designs at the same time and my work monitor is….shamefully filled with post-its related to each design with a list of stuff that needs to be done) and also very very fluffy *_* BUT LILY THINKING OF KISSING HIM AGAIN MEANS YOU’RE LOSING THE BET HAHA! which i’m fully in support of. if it’s not painfully obvious. which it is. but who cares :P
okay wow barty crouch and Bellatrix and voldemort! i love the way you’ve incorporated them in a modern muggle cop AU. and the living death is a nice play on the draught of living death ^_^ i’m a big fan of people inventing new stuff in the wizarding world so even if this isn’t wizarding it’s still cool :P and the fact that james&lily are so good at interrogating people together is just a wonderful by-product of their chemistry which can be, er, cut with a knife or something but also proof that they’re meant to be. just saying. AND YES FLUTTERING HEART!
snape the vulture is oddly perfect for him :P
(sidenote: a guy with whom i can play computer games (because i’m old school like that and consoles aren’t my thing :P) is the one that i’ll have to keep. so go lily! and james! and er, mario kart!)
also voices of reason are things that definitely need to be ignored when you’re about to have sex. and the way you wrote it was really well done! i mean, it was hot(!!!) but also i loved the way you emphasised consent and safe sex and also a bit of humour (because really….flavoured condoms are….a mistake hahah. okay and lily’s hilarious thought about FOLDING HER SHIRT had me in giggles lol. and omg GODRIC THE CAT! poor guy, he’s probs better off in the living room anyway, we don’t want him mentally scarred :P)
*KRIS CACKLES VERY LOUDLY*
that’s it, that’s the end of my review because that’s the only appropriate response to that ending *_*
Taylor! I'm back for more and for our swap (and maybe one day I actually will catch up on your ap again!)
Very much a fan of the workplace aspect of this fic! It's so fun and also very B99-esque. Again, the parallels are great! Dumbledore and Kinsgley are amazing as Holt and Terry. I love how James doesn't Dumbledore remains this vague enigma and we don't know anything about his husband except that his name and occupation. I can very much see a Holt-esque version of Dumbledore being like "well what more do you need to know about him?" in that dead pan tone.
I absolutely adored James and Lily's first interaction in this chapter. There's so many little things in here that show just how much James is in love with Lily here. But also, Lily coming to work with an extra button undone is HILARIOUS to me, OKAY LILY I SEE YOU! And then she just jumps right into this date- she is keepng him on his toes that's for sure!
I'm very curious to see this bet play out- obviously everyone is going to get hurt because James is in love with her but still trying to win a bet and Lily's going to realize what a genuinely nice guy James is, fall in love with him, and still try and win her bet and shenanigans will occur but they will have to find they're way back to each other because this is a romcom at half of its core.But James makes a great point about her suddenly showing interest (even if it is just for the bet) and he will devastated when he finds out that she has one too...I'm real curious about the blow up that's bound to occur.
YESS MORE JOKES ABOUT A WORD I CAN'T SAY ON THIS REVIEW!! Honestly I love some good word play and I'm so appreciative of how natural this one just flows, especially since Sirius dropped one last chapter! Is there one every chapter? god please say yes. (and a sirius pun yesss)
"Please I make a fool of myself everyday" oh my god, I freaking love James. His utter lack of embarassment is amazing.And will certainly come in handy when he has to announce to the precinct how much better Lily is!
I love how adorable these two are! This goodnight kiss is amazing and everything I needed from this date! James being both surprised by how amazing it is and totally knowing that it would be everything he thought it would be is EVERYTHING! AND THEN HE GOES HOME TO TELL HIS CAT ABOUT IT! I'm sticking with my statement from last chapter- he truly may be the most perfect human (well almost, if he was actually perfect he'd have a dog). Anpther wonderful chapter, can't wait to keep reading!
Hiiii Taylor! I'm making my BEST attempt to begin catching up on this so I don't have a bajillion 10k chapters to read at once when it's all finished (which means with the way things are now, I'll probably read this now with the intent of coming back for the next chapter tomorrow and you'll see me again in like three weeks lol).
I LOVE the parallels into the B99 verse. These characters match up so well to their counterparts and their personalities here are equally amazing! I'm already SO excited to see Snape as the Vulture because that's def going to be the crossover event of the century but Lily as Amy and James as Jake are incredible!
The girls setting up their bet is such a good time, I love Mary and Marlene just being so casual about it, like no he's def in love you, and Lily just being so stubborn about it. I love that Lily has three drink/four drink/five drink personalities just like Amy! I cannot wait to see the office excitement that occurs from this bet!
unrelated side note: my friends and i are one a mission to hit every brewery in our city. So that's an admirable goal on my end for these boys. I love that they act so pretentious while they're doing it! Peter going full Charles here is HILARIOUS- so protective of his food and drinks, I love it!
AHHH I still love this joke about Fenwick! (also him as the teddy is GREAT but the joke is hilarious). The boys bet is great too! I love that both James and Lily are just so competitive they can't back down from it because like I relate to that SO HARD. James already seems like the world's greatest human and I just want that to stay so I'm excited to keep reading.
Bonus: I love how they got their nicknames from their first cases! That's such a great way to keep that canon moment and explain it into this universe! Great first chapter Taylor, so excited to keep reading!
Hi Taylor! I’m here for CTF.
Once again, your writing is crisp and full of humor. The way that you’ve distributed our familiar Harry Potter characters into this AU is clever. I like the idea of Bellatrix as a hit woman and that Voldemort is running a drug ring (and maybe something worse). And the thought of Lily and James as cops who work together interrogating people is really amusing. I also enjoyed how you characterized James’s and Lily’s style—that at first Lily puts everyone at ease and James seems scary, but then he says something goofy and Lily turns aggressive which puts the person being interrogated into a tailspin. It’s a really nice twist on the classic “good cop, bad cop” routine.
I enjoyed their interrogation of Barty Jr. and also the glimpse of Captain Dumbledore. The phoenix painting named Cheddar made me laugh out loud—it’s totally the sort of thing Dumbledore would do and have on his wall.
The scene of James cooking Indian food was charming and made me really hungry. I cook Indian food from time to time and all the little dishes and spices are a lot of work—well worth it. Lily probably felt pretty special that James went to all that trouble for her. I’m sensing that it might be hard for her to win her bet. But, maybe she’ll be okay with the consolation prize if she loses? And why does she assume that James won’t like her if he gets to know her better?
I was highly amused that the sexy bit had to be interrupted so that James could move his cat out of the bedroom (great name for the cat too). But, I guess that’s how cats are :-).
The ending was super sweet—I agree, at this point dessert for breakfast is exactly the thing to do. Yeah, Lily is going to have some serious trouble winning her bet. :-)
Taylor! Here for CTF (see what I'm doing? trying to avoid jail by reviewing a Jily cop fic! :P )
We're only on day three, and THIS happened?!?! They're doomed. Absolutely 100 percent doomed.
Doomed for a beauitful, incredible relationship, that is!!!
At least, that's what the hopeless romantic deep inside me thinks. See what you've done, Taylor? With all of Lily and James's chemistry and that fluff but also relationship development, my inner hopeless romantic is on a bit of a rampage right now, and it is all your fault!!! I seriously need to tap into Lily's sensibility to flatly state: they're still building a relationship, they're still hiding the fact that they're doing this because of bets, it's only been THREE DAYS and it is NOT a Disney princess movie!!
But then again, Jily is awesome (see their interrogation scene--brilliant tie in, btw to canon. I had a feeling Bellatrix was the woman, but I was wondering who the captured perp was--Barty Crouch, Jr?? NICE touch--with his daddy on city council and with Voldemort, and Lily and James owned that interrogation because they work well together, professionally. Personally, and then later... romantically).
Okay. This is a very rambling review. Anyway... I really like how you're developing Sirius's backstory through this, too. I missed the motley crew in this chapter, but I'm glad you highlighted Kingsley and Dumbledore (and Cheddar, lololol). I wonder if we're ever going to get to the bottom of--
WAIT A SECOND. Dumbledore. One moment he's rather distant to the office dynamics. The other he's present. And those two bets conveniently happned on the same night... and canon Dumbledore is manipulative AF, so what if HE'S behind BOTH bets?! New theory, gonna stick to it until proven otherwise!!!
And Snape with the Vulture, lolol. I definitely love how you combined one of my least favorite B99 characters to a character like Snape. Good shout! The Vulture is creepy and vindicative and I want to shoo him away!! GAHHH!
Oh, before ending this review, I should probably address the smut. Well written. Lily and James are obviously attracted to each other, and I love the CONSENT and the PROTECTION and... yeah, it's so good seeing both of those things normalized you know?
Plus, you have set up Lily for all the conflicting feels in the world. And poor James, he's officially a goner, I think.
My inner hopeless romantic: But it's a chance for them to continue to develop their feelings for one another and have their love further blossom!
Regular me: Too sappy, inner hopeless romantic, but I will give you (me?) credit for one thing: this is a fun and feminist Jily bet fic with some of the funny quips from a great cops show and it's an overall enjoyable read!
My inner hopeless romantic: THE SHIP HAS LONG SAILED! THEY'RE DOOMED FOR LOVE!!!
hey taylor, i'm here for our swap!
i’m just….why the hell is lily so intent on making james dump her?!??! i know there’s a bet. i know she thinks he’s got this idea of her in his head that’s actually not her. but but but!!! their date was awesome. she loved it and she loved hanging out with him! *_* it’s adorable! lol okay, i know it’s like…the whole premise of the story but omg they’re so cute together that i can’t even, i love reading about them. FOR GOD’S SAKE THERE ARE BUTTERFLIES!!!
THE CAT’S NAME IS GODRIC! i’m weak.
i also hate umbridge and she hasn’t done much of anything yet, but what can you do. james made me laugh with his adorable (uhm…can we just tag this story with ‘adorable’??? i’m tempted to ask for it in tag requests…) comment about how he didn’t care about his own graffiti but when it comes to godric! i’m always in support of cat-people. or just animal-people in general, but cats have a special place in my heart.
(btw i know i’m not from the USA but still, i love the way you incorporate RL problems and problematic police behaviour into this, even though it’s fluff, it’s real-feeling fluff because there’s always something IRL that’s happening)
(i’m also sort of convinced that somehow, umbridge doesn’t care at all about police brutality…)
the back and forth between them is awesome, but what i really liked was lily’s repeated ‘she enjoys his presence’ like she so obviously needs to defend herself from her innate desire to win the stupid bet :P obviously, she’s failing spectacularly but i’m here for that *_*
that ending was really great as well – both lily’s nervousness and awkwardness and james for being such a good guy and not teasing her about it. the ‘Maybe’ at the end is all sorts of awesome :P let’s hope lily doesn’t actually get herself together.
i’m def looking forward to the next chapter!
Hi, Taylor! Here for our swap! :)
Ah, I love this so much! It's just so good and James and Lily are so perfect and... <3 <3 <3
I love Lily's inner conflict here: how she's still so convinced that she'll win the bet and so focused on her objective on one hand, but then she's so obviously falling for James. All her thoughts about how he is different from what she expected and how the shift of her feelings is not normal after just one date... it is normal, if you are soulmates, Lils... and you totally are, so :P
Sirius immediately poking for details is so... Sirius. :D And Peter with the handcuffs... :P Really, all your characters are so perfect! You just get them so well, and I absolutely love it!
Umbridge is just as unsufferable here as she is in Harry Potter. I also loved the whole discussion about the PR campaigns. :P And James being all defensive of his cat... (Godric is such a great name for a cat, btw!)
The teasing between James and Lily when they met for the stakeout was brilliant! Did I already say that they are perfect? I also really liked the most serious conversation, and that bit of Lily's backstory. It was cool to include.
And... some actual police action! An arrest! So exciting! :D
"The pretty one told me I don't have to say anything without an attorney present."
"Huh, I don't remember saying that."
Loved this! Definitely the kind of thing James Potter would say! :P (I had a long list of wonderful quotes from this chapter, but I'm too lazy to get back and look for them, and there would be way too many to include in this review anyway...)
Now I can't wait for the homecooked dinner! ;)
Sorry if I didn't comment on half the things I should have, but delightful reading as always! <3
Thank you so much for swapping, dear!
Here for our swap!
I am really (REALLY) enjoying this story and I am so so excited for another chapter!
I really like the portrayal of Umbridge and especially Snape (though he is one of my favourite characters from the series I like this view of him in your AU story). I'm curious now what the grudge is that UMBRIDGE had against Dumbledore! I really enjoy how conflicted Lily is over all this, the *unwanted* butterflies, the worry that James may have not enjoyed the night before as much as she did even though that was her goal from the start. I find their growing connection so cute, they talk with each other about their lives with ease, they flirt and tease each other, and Lily is genuinely excited by James presence.
She is so drawn to him, and wants to kiss him, and yet can't so she is so awkwardly adorable when saying goodbye and I hope he sees that for what it is and isn't worrying she doesn't like him. It's SO obvious. I'm excited to see where this story goes and how it ends <3
Great writing! I favourite because I want updates for when the next chapter comes out :D
Hey Taylor! I'm here for our swap! Wow this story just keeps getting better! I really enjoyed the shock and confusion that Janes is experiencing by Lilys sudden interest, and I've no doubt that had he been told by lily in years past that it was simply coworker status that prevented them from getting together then he would have tried to change precincts then. He really is so smitten with her.
I really like how you bring in Dumbledore and Grindelwald's relationship. And the comments about Dumbledore like ”As if he's wearing long royal robes” that is a very well written description and I like the connection with the HP universe. When the incident of Sirius and Remus in the cop car came up I literally laughed out loud. That was really cute and hilarious. Definitely a good reason they cannot be paired together anymore. XD and Sirius’ objection to it.
I thought it was cute that James is so hyper-aware of Lily and the repeated knee touching. When he internally commented on the weaponizing of her open top button I thought it was really a funny line. Only because that is likely exactly what she was going for, and he likely knows her to be the type to ensure her appearance is always completely respectable being a woman in a police force and often times its perceived as a ”mans job”. Their date is the coolest date ever, and I have actually mentally noted this for any future dates I have because nothing is better then being relaxed and having fun, but also getting to see what they are like in a competitive situation.
I think that the way he knows her so well, that he knew she would make an annoyed comment about the check being immediately handed straight to him was really sweet. Solidified by her insistence on paying for half the cab ride home.
Oh that kiss. I don't think either of them were expecting such a reaction, and I'm excited to see what Lilys thinking about it!
I can't wait for more! And I am going to ask you for another swap for the next chapter because its great writing and story (no surprise there really)
First because it bothered me that a chunk of the first review is missing so here is the rest
and I find it amusing that (like the movie) they are both betting their friends abiut each other, but both are betting for alternate endings: Lily betting he doesn't actually like her for her and him betting that she will basically fall in love with him all in ten days time.
So I'm really looking forward to reading more of this and will be watching for more!
Great writing (as usual my dear)
Oh, my Merlin!!!
This is so absolutely perfect and I don't even know what to say! It's just so good and funny and fluffy and adorable and I love it so much! Siriusly! (By the way, loved the little message exchange with Sirius, and that Sirius/serious puns are still a thing... sorry if this is irrelevant...)
I loved James' POV throughout the chapter! It was so good! His total confusion at Lily suddenly seeming interested in him and so openly flirting... and the extra button... :P So good! And of course Lily must've been so confused as well, realizing how many things he's noticed about her and how well he seems to get her... I have a feeling someone is going to lose a bet... and that's not James. :P
I really enjoyed seeing Dumbledore and Kingsley too. And you wrote Dumbledore so well, btw. His speeches always firmly straddle the line between incredibly blunt and entirely too vague, and this one seems to be no exception. That's so much Dumbledore and just perfect!
I also found so amusing the part about Sirius and Remus not being allowed on missions together anymore, and the reason for it... I might not be a Wolfstar shipper, but I can totally see that happening... :P
But back to the main theme... I can't believe Lily just actually asked him out so suddenly... I know it's for the bet, but still... I laughed at James thinking how that ruined all his careful plans... :D And that was a very original and fun first date, honestly. I would have never expected it either. If lily was hoping to put James off, though, she was wrong. Ah, those two are so perfect for each other! I'm sure she's going to realize it very soon. :)
I really enjoyed the restaurant scene as well, and James telling Lily about his teenage days. So very Marauder-ish. I think you capture him so well (or at least, you write him the way I imagine him, and I love it so much!)
And the kiss!!! Oh, my Merlin!!! So perfect! That's all I can say!
Thank you so much for requesting, I was absolutely delighted to go on with this story! <3 <3 <3
Lots of love and snowball hug, my dear!
okay so did lily leave that one button open on purpose?!?!?!?! it's a mystery. or is it?? I BET SHE DID.
hello, yes, i’m here for our swap but i just had to get out that^ thought out of my head :P
i’m also fangirling over james’ organised chaos because…that’s basically my life. my work desk. my home desk. all the desks i’ve ever owned.
the iced coffee incident (? not an incident but.) was hilarious to read…no, james is absolutely not in love with her and/or a tiny little bit creepy :p in an adorable way, of course.
omg and dumbledore has the beard. i’m laughing so much i can’t even. just…trying to imagine a policeman, or like, anyone for that matter, in modern times, with a beard like that!
i love how both lily and james are so competitive. and everything is a competition, even a date :p i’ve never been to laser tag (laser tagging??) but it sounds really really fun! i wouldn’t mind going on a date there. or like..on a paintball date. and lily’s thinking that james wouldn’t like laser tag is just…adorable? and of course he loves it. omg can i just like squee through this whole review? because i feel that’s what i’m basically doing but i really like reading fluffy stuff *_*
that kiss at the end was amazingly well done (er, written) :P but james talking to his cat!!! that’s the best thing ever!!!!!!!!! *_*
uhm, i’m not sure how to finish this review without just saying how good this fic is, how adorably amazingly wonderful your james and lily are and also i really want to meet james’ cat because i’m a crazy cat lady. so eh yeah :P this was really really good. and i also liked the little things you included from HP canon like gellert the husband (he going to end up being a bad guy??? (i really shouldn’t say this phrase because omg it just feeds my obsession with billie eilish and now i’m humming the song in my head sorry for going off topic)?, the invisibility cloak, the racis/homophobic equivalences to voldy-fans… *_*
Hey Taylor! I’m here for our swap my friend!
I really liked this story, the concept of a 20th century muggle NYPD plot is really cool! It makes for an interesting story line and opens up to infinite possibilities really. I like how you decided to base it on ”How to lose a guy in 10 days” and how you brought that together with the Marauders really is just perfect. The character building in just the first few paragraphs of each of their Point Of Views is really well written too.
I like how Lily is still this perfectionisty type. Her not giving James the time of day simply because she doesn't see him as being interested in her so much as the idea of her is really cute. I like how she doesn't take him seriously either, like she just thinks of him as a jokester. My favourite trait of hers is her inability to step down from a challenge: quite like a certain marauder we love.
I like how you wrote about her friends and her doing the same thing that James and his friends were doing just across town. How their dynamics compliment each others personalities, pushing each others buttons and encouraging them to do things out of their comfort zones. That's true friendship.
I am certainly curious about this bisexual trait of James. How it will play into the story, and the significance of it. I really love wolfstar (this is new for me) so I really enjoy the fact that Sirius and Remus are together here. I love the opposites attract friends to lovers theme so much.
I've always loved the connection between James and Lily, especially the fact that James liked her first. The pining is so heart warming
Hello, my dear! Here for our swap! :)
Ahhh, this was delightful (as all of your Jilys are, honestly)! The idea of the double bet is so hilarious, and I can't wait to see how it all develops from there. I'm expecting a lot of misunderstandings and ridicolous situations down the way... and I'm all for it! :P
The parallel between the two scenes was awesome... Lily can claim that she and James are so different all she wants, but they surely have in common at least their pride and inability to let go of a challenge (especially when drunk... :P) But yeah, surely they do have their differences as well... so typical of Lily, having a 25-years' life plan... ahahah! Your characterization of everyone was spot on as usual, btw! :D
The whole "You're able to rein in Potter, and Potter is able to rein in Lupin and Black." is awesome! And the bit about Remus being extra passionate about the office vending machine amused me a lot for some reason. And I also absolutely adored your explanation of the Marauders' nicknames. And Peter's cheese obsession. All so great! (Although, now I want to know the whole story behind Moony...)
And obviously, I love the way James and Lily see each other. I love the idea that she's so convinced that he can't possibly actually like her and that she actually finds him attractive, even if she does her best to ignore it... (that's totally my headcanon for Lily, btw...) "Potter's the idealistic type, we all know that," which doesn't mean at all that he wouldn't love Lily just the way she is, but it's actually a pretty accurate description of James Potter (in my opinion, at least). And talking about James, I love that he's kind of a mess with the people he fancies and that he mostly spends his time watching them from afar... he's such a dork (another one of my headcanons). Btw, I found this so funny: It's not like the NYPD is known for its sexual harassment policies, so honestly, James probably wouldn't get in any sort of trouble if he did decide to repeatedly ask her out on dates until she relented, but he'd never want to make her uncomfortable like that. since repeatedly asking her out on dates is what he's shown doing all the time in fanfic. :P
This is all so promising! And I've adored every single sentence of this, Siriusly! I suppose I should come back soon-ish! In the meantime, thank you so much for the swap and for the great read! :D
Lots of love and snowball hug,
Hi Taylor! I’m here for our review swap! I was looking forward to this chapter, not going to lie, lol!
Let’s begin, yeah? (I can already tell this is going to be a monster review.)
Well, this is interesting. I never would’ve thought “I need to channel my inner Aries” is something that James would ever think. It’s a funny image tbh.
Dumbledore is just the same as always, even if it is for such silly things like petty theft, lmao.
OH we already know what’s up with Lily! Why else would she be smiling so brightly at James? This bet is gonna be a wild ride to read, I can already tell!
Lmao James’ internal thought process while flirting is so understandable. I think if I complimented someone and received the response that Lily gave, I’d freak the hell out, tbh.
Lily and James are such dorks. Of course they’d slip up and accidentally reveal that they might pay a little bit too much attention to each other.
Wait, how do you imagine Dumbledore to look like? Do you imagine him to be his eccentric himself from the Harry Potter movies or more a la Fantastic Beasts? Because honestly, I’m just imagining him in his colorful ass robes from the movies, and let me tell you, those clothes in this modern setting is funny af.
HE WEARS THE ROBES LMAO. So that image will be stuck in my head, thanks for that.
Lily, girl, what are you doing..... Isn’t the point to make James stay away from her? I feel like this is only making him fall harder for her.
WHAT IS GOING ON JSJAJAJAAJ
GIRL WTF SKJSJSJS
I am basically James’ mind right now.
James feels very excited for this date! I just hope Lily doesn’t do anything to ‘sabotage’ or anything, because I for one would think it’s the perfect opportunity for them to carry out their bet without doing anything drastic, you know?
I’m loving this theme of like, James inadvertently complimenting Lily’s abilities even though it’s not what he means to do. I think it’s the nicest form of receiving compliments and they’re so reassuring?
I like this camaraderie the two have going on right now! We get to see who they really are, and admittedly, my opinion of Lily has improved since the first chapter.
I also really like how honest and open James is about his mistakes? I mean, if I were to look for anything in a partner, it would be this. I frankly like people who look at their mistakes as something to grow and learn from rather than as a blight on their character. Although, I’d be hypocritical if I said I was at this point, though I will say that I’m better at it than I was a few years ago!
Honestly, “Foot, meet mouth: round… probably like seventy-something at this point,” is my favorite quote right now. I think it’s practically epitomizes James perfectly in this fic.
James has a cat that he talks to? That’s literally perfect.
Also? How are you this good at writing kisses? I need to know your secrets.
Was that date meant to show off her worst traits?? Damn, James’ filter really is great at disguising her really well. Either way, I don’t necessarily think they’re flaws. I think it just might be the guys she’s dating. Not her problem, well, unless it’s those very flaws that hurt herself or others.
OH Lilyyyyy are you falling in loveeeeee or at least liking James a lottttt
Kingsley honestly sounds more interested in James and Lily’s love life more than he should be, and that’s hilarious to me for some reason???
I don’t imagine that Umbridge would be any better in this AU either. She already sounds like someone who I wouldn’t like.
Snape sounds just as awful. Ugh. Like, learn people’s boundaries, you know? I’d hate to be flirted with when I’m not into it.
Oh, yikes, hearing Lily’s backstory makes me sad. I can’t imagine what it’s like to see your mother sick like that.
Their natural chemistry is like??? Off the charts??
Taylor you write James and Lily so well I honestly don’t know how you do it. This chapter might have taken me just about two hours to read but god was every second worth it. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: your writing is just so fresh and easy to digest; it didn’t even feel like I spent a good bit of my time to read it?? And you have this great balance between your description and dialogue that it just flows very easily? I definitely think you calling yourself good at dialogue is definitely well deserved, and you just keep getting better at it?
So. I await the next chapter!
Thanks for writing! xx
Heya, Taylor! I'm here for our swap.
I'm so glad I read this! I love what you've done with the characters, tying in [what I'm assuming is B99 characteristics, spoiler I haven't watched it] & their [popular] HP characteristics (Remus being overly protective of the candy bar vending machine, and Sirius filling the vending machine with rotten vegetables; James is still in love with Lily, while Lily would prefer not to him; Lily has a penchant for rules & regulations; etc.). I'm absolutely digging the entire modernized AU thing going on, with them working for the NYPD. I read a lot of FWW-era fics and have been realizing recently that the modern AUs can make for a really refreshing change of pace, since FWW fics generally and innevitably try to stick to the canonical timeline & events of the FWW (for obvious reasons).
And I especially love what you've done with Lily (though I do heart all of the characterizations in this). Her fondness for & by-the-book patronage and execution of the rules (even of rule's she's coined for herself), seems pretty fitting. I also love her 25-year-plan and need to be the best. Her drive and motivation are insurmountable, which is absolutely amazing. Best of all, I love that her descions are being driven according to the number of drinks she's had. Five-Drink-Lily sounds like a force to be reconed with, and I absolutely adore her competativeness. A drink-induced bet between she and Mary to see if James will truly like "the real Lily" versus "the idea of Lily" sounds like it's going to be some great fun. I also think that Lily's point of James getting bored with her after realizing that she's not the dream girl that he thinks she is is a pretty real concern when it comes to dating.
I hope they fall in love and have babies. It would mean that Lily loses the bet...but she still sorta wins.
It completely makes sense that James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter are on a beer-tasting mission. That makes me laugh. Plus, I really liked how you've not only managed to keep their nicknames, but have introduced them in this AU world in a way that makes sense [how they've come from each of their first major cases -- that's really neat and it works really well in this]. I'm also very intersted in seeing how James out of a hostage situation with an unloaded gun and a fork -- spin-off, please! And I did really enjoy the contrast of the two groups (Lily, Mary, & Marlene vs the Boys), though topically things were quite similar (which was a brilliant touch). I also loved seeing the two sides -- why Lily thinks James is into her, and why James thinks James is into her.
Plus, there are both bets going on. Lily's essentially trying to prove a point and scare James off, while James is trying to make Lily fall in love with him. In 10 days. I'm thoroughly excited to see how this bet plays out, and if you'll let Lily fall in love with James and James stay in love with Lily (which I'm hoping is what will happen). Also, thank you for including WolfStar -- I love those boys together! <3
Thanks so much for the swap -- I'm a bit coo-coo-bananas for the characters in this, so I'll probably be back at some point ;)!
hey taylor, i'm here for our review swap! *_*
so first – i haven’t watched bb99 or how to lose a guy in 10 days but honestly, for me, it doesn’t even matter?? because you’ve written this in a way that i don’t need to know the tv show/the movie to get what’s going on and that’s awesome :D i did see a gifset on tumblr with three/four/and so on drink amy so at least i caught that reference :P
i love how you’ve managed to perfectly describe both lily and james with their drinking habits :P and i laughed out loud at sirius filling the vending machine with rotten vegetables and then remus going mad because he needs his candy haha
i squeed internally (because squeezing out loud might cause some odd looks) at the bet AND BECAUSE I KNOW LILY IS GOING TO LOSE!! because she has to, right?! i mean. i already like her even if she’s a bit…er…ocd-ish or perfectionst and i also already like james even though we haven’t actually met him yet but even the description we get from lily and her coworkers is enough to make me like him!
also i have to say that i thoroughly enjoy mary’s character.
and james is awesome because he didn’t let the fact that he really really likes (loves??) lily get in the way of being super nice to her and actually congratulating her on her promotion instead of…idk…sulking. and that he wants to respect her boundaries!! that’s all sorts of wonderful and lily would be crazy not to date him.
it would be hard leaving this review without mentioning peter’s homemade cheese – the fact that both parties included this as a loser side of a bet had me in stitches :P poor peter (but..not really haha)
i thought this was a great start/prologue to the story – it sets the bet part perfectly but it also gives us a look into the main characters (oh and maybe makes us fall in love with them from the start but that’s neither here nor there *_* )
Hello Taylor! I'm here for our swap!
Okay so I LOVE Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and I know you know that I also love the Marauders, so I'm so excited about this?? I knew you were working on a b99 AU and I knew you had a new story, but I didn't realize it was THE story!
I really like that you didn't just copy B99's plot and instead went with your own storyline, with clear B99 influences! I'm trying to figure out who's who here but I'm not doing a very good job hahaha. Obviously Lily is Santiago and James is Peralta, and I'm willing to bet Peter is Boyle... Marlene is... Gina? Mary's Diaz? Fenwick is obviously Teddy. Sirius and Remus are.... Hitchcock and Scully...? :P (I'm mildly insulted on their behalves if so! Hahaha) And then I'm guessing Kingsley is Terry and Dumbledore is Holt? I'm really not feeling confident about all of those guesses, though.
Hahaha I love the idea of Lily becoming extra-stubborn when she drinks, that definitely checks out to me. I thought the whole opening scene with the women in the precinct did a really good job of establishing setting, characters, and all that fun stuff! It painted a very clear picture of the dynamics in the precinct. And what I really liked about this (as compared to B99 canon) is that it's already explicit that Lily is attracted to James, and it's not him weirdly pursuing her as a gag? It's more genuine and although I love the canon B99 Jake/Amy trajectory, I think this setup works a lot better for these characters!
I really enjoy your interpretation of the Marauders here, I thought you did a great job capturing all their personalities. And I LOVED the alternate stories behind their nicknames! Plus (obligatory and predictable Kayla Remarks incoming) I thought the Wolfstar was wonderful, and I thought Sirius in particular was very well-handled! The way he needled James was on point (Get it? Get it?) and didn't come across as mean-spirited. James was lovely, I love the way you portray him. He's the perfect mix of confident/self-assured and a total dork. I can't wait to see him and Lily inevitably get together ;) It's so obvious they're meant to be! Hahaha.
I really enjoyed this first chapter, and I'm excited for more! Sorry this review is so rambly and overdue, but thank you so much for the swap!
Hey Taylor! Here for our swap!!
I have been looking forward to this release of this fic, especially after our lovely conversation on the toxic masculinity that is in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Your answer to my question in your novel nest is brilliant, btw.
This chapter is a fantastic opening chapter. Even though Lily and James are not seen actually interacting with each other, I already ship them. Of course, there's the whole concept of Jily that helps but also... I think it's the way you have them react when each other is brough up in their respective conversations. Lily is a little flustered and is willfully convincing herself that James isn't actually into her. And James clearly is nearly head over heels with her, but he makes sure to emphasize her individuality, her humanity. I love how you establish these things from the get-go, and I think because you estabdlish them, you've set up their relationship for success (and you get the reader to cheer for them, Jily ships aside).
I love how you give each character their own personalities and highlight them in this chapter. Mary, Marlene, and Lily make an awesome girl squad. They're all so distinct and have their own interests and opinions, and they all respect each other, too. As for the Marauders, well, their chemistry is spot on. I love how Sirius and Remus interact with each other. My favorite bit of this whole chapter is Sirius putting his hand in Remus's face, lol.
The bets are so amusing and believeable and a great way for B99 to meet HTLAGI10D. I'm curious to see if there is going to be any major case that is going to unfold during these 10 days... and how these funny and brilliant characters will pursue this comedy of errors (because how can it not be a comedy of errors when both Lily and James are trying so hard to do nearly opposite things? ahahaha).
Also, because you said BONUS POINTS, I'm going to pair your HP characters with the B99 characters!
Lily--Santiago; James--Peralta; Mary--Rosa; Marlene--Gina; Peter--Charles; Sirius & Remus-- Hitchcock and Scully (though Sirius also has some of Peralta's goofiness); Dumbledore--Holt; Kingsely--Terry. How did I do? lol.
Good luck writing the rest of this fic. I'll definitely be back to laugh (and possibly--probaby--cringe) at how things unfold!