Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 20 Jan 2020 08:58 PM · For: Chapter 2: ownership is opposite of all that love has taught to me

Gryffindors are such big hearted people. The analogy with a green monster from Muggle Christmas specials was priceless. And Draco’s right Gryffindor’s are so oblivious to what is going on around him (although, as Draco pointed out, perhaps Harry’s deductive skills are improving.)

However, something is obviously bothering Neville. Then Draco jumps in with a great line that can be interpreted different ways: “we will be here when your ready, Neville.” And you did a great job toggling the tension between pairs and then the triangle. 

I loved the line by Madame Pomphrey. “Why is it, Mr Potter, that you always seem to end up here—at least once a year—since you were eleven?” Even though he no longer has a megalomaniac murdurer after him, Harry is still big-hearted, oblivious and still a bit accident prone. The banter between the three in the hospital wing was priceless, particularly this line: “He could take the killing curse and survive.” Oh, that’s right. He has already--twice!

Oh, and the cat is out of the bag. People always get in trouble when they are doped up on drugs and try to talk (at least they do on America’s Funniest Home Videos.) I detect more angst developing become everyone is going to start over analyzing and then over dramatizing the others’ actions.

 

But you surprised me, moving it along much faster than expected, so now there are no secrets between Harry and Draco. I just feel a bit sorry for Neville.

Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 18 Jan 2020 05:45 AM · For: Chapter 1: I can't fit inside monogamy's philosophies

Lex,

Here’s your first FanNonFiction Challenge Award!

Nice description of the transition of seasons from fall to winter. I particularly like the vision of beautiful blankets of white to predict the upcoming snow.

I like the banter between Harry and Draco about Harry’s hair. It’s an easy characteristics that is easy to tease Potter about. . . not that Draco doesn’t have his vices.  The introduction gives the feeling of a couple still in those throws of first love. . . or maybe it’s first lust. . . Either way, I can envision the goofy looks on their faces as they each rush off to their respective classes.

Harry’s description of the blonde as he reminisces tells a lot about his understanding of his boyfriend: brilliant, loving, smarmy bas#!*% that he was. (If I recall, reviews can’t have mature rating so I’m trying to give this a gentler language rating.) I particularly like the description of their relationship “ as perfect as two prickly pears could be”-- very telling and alliterative. 

I’m not sure if this was the reaction you were going for or not, but honestly, I was rather annoyed with Harry and his feelings. I felt like shaking him and give him a Molly Weasley type lecture about not ruining a good thing for a few random feelings or for the exotic unknown. Harry is practically dripping with guilt and Draco can definitely tell that something is wrong. 

Then you switched to Draco’s point-of-view and my sympathies switched to poor Neville. Although I suspect this love triangle will be a positive thing eventually, I think poor Neville will be working so hard to keep the two together that he won’t realize he’s smack in the middle.

 

I am curious about the history of how Harry and Draco got together in the first place. Will you be exploring how they’ve transitioned from a despise you to a tolerate to a love you relationship?