Reviews For Ignatius


Name: prideofprewett (Signed) · Date: 06 Jan 2022 10:47 PM · For: III

Hey, yooooo. Back for tag. (:

 

"...simply because he’d recited them so often - this disturbed him even though there was no sincerity in them." I can sort of relate to this though? Of course, my company isn't as corrupt as The Ministry in this moment, but like I have definite days of my brain is just going on autopilot with the things I say during interviews. So I get it. Here it is very eerie in this context because of the seriousness of what is happening here. And then it also makes a whole lot of sense for him to be caught off guard whenever he's sort of in this autopilot mode and something unexpected happens and he's not prepared. So I thought you conveyed that whole thing in a relatable way across multiple contexts. 

 

I always loved how you explained the Fidelius Charm and how houses under the influence of it disappear from public record. It speaks to how you have this amazing skill as a writer to take these small details and shed light onto them. It definitely adds a richness to all of your stories. 

 

"He couldn’t go home even if he tried." This. I still think about this like a year later. Hits me hard emotionally every time.  

 

"He noticed that his father had stopped showing up at work." WAH HA HA HA WAH was the sound that came out of me. Because like. HE STILL CARES ENOUGH TO NOTICE GODDAMNIT. 

 

I love that Percy also sees fit to argue with Aberforth about his lack of lawful compliance. Only Percy. But it's an endearing thing that has us shake our head and say that lovingly.

 

"But as unpleasant as the situation was, it was followed by immeasurable relief as his apology burst forth, finally freed from its chains." CRIES FOREVER ABOUT ITTT. This is such a beautiful sentiment though. Excellent, A+, emotional, deep writing!

 

"...he found that he could when Fred extended his hand..." *whimpers about it*

 

AND I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT MOMENT HAS ME FUCKING UNDONE THAT I CANNOT EVEN DTROP QUOTE IT OK>?

 

And then Percy still looking up to Bill...me having a Cristina Yang "somebody sedate me!!!" moment.

 

"There was going to be a later." *rocks back and forth in anticipation*

 

Look. I honestly can't remember where/when this chapter ends and I AM SCARED. But I just want to say as probably the last coherent thought in this review, the way you explore the progression of Percy's return is a true chef's kiss. Like. You feel relief that everyone is reunited but also this tension that there's a war about to unfold. So excellent job there!

 

Ok. Back to the emotional madness. 

 

Just crying. Just. Tears. Crying. You did a good job. That's it. 

 

"And Percy felt Fred die again."

 

And Courtney felt her heart shatter again.

 

OHHHHHH....I need more wine. But. Again, testament to your amazing skills as a writer. Definitely not overly dramatic. Definitely fitting. Definitely painful. Definitely realistic. Definitely what I would expect from you. 

 

<3 Courtney



Name: prideofprewett (Signed) · Date: 20 Nov 2021 11:02 AM · For: II

Am I making "crying about Percy Weasley," a hobby? Sure feels like it. 

 

Lord, I forgot about them doing stuff to kids (or at least they would have if not expressly stated) and man, I'd lose my shit if this ever became my reality.

 

I always liked how you included Aberforth in this story. Idk if it was ever explicitly stated in canon that Percy developed this sort of relationship with him, but he likely would have had to, in order to show up how and when he did in the end. So I think you do a great job of highlighting this here. 

 

And of course, you characterize Aberforth's gruffness in such a vivid manner. Like the way he says this and his mannerisms really shine through here. Particularly when he describes Ginny (another absolutely perfect line, ok?).

 

Nope, not thinking about Percy yearning to reach out to his father, but not able to. Nope. Not thinking about how he feels having to see him and pretend he doesn't give a shit. Nope. Not thinking about Arthur seeing his kid and feeling like he's a total stranger and maybe even questioning his parenting choices. Nope. None of that is happening upon rereading your reference of that. My heart's totally fine. It's fine. I'm fine. 

 

And hmm ok pride is A Hell of A Sin. And Melanie is A Hell of A Genius. I see what you did there. ;)

 

Also, jumping back up to the moment where Percy's like "this is totally stupid to do some spying, but here we go." I think you did such a marvelous job at building the tension, showing us how much he was risking for that moment. And then the falling feeling of "oh no, there really wasn't a lot of pay off," as a result. But I like how you incorporate this because you show that Percy's doing whatever he can, even if it's a totally minimal thing. And then him trying to play it off when he encounters someone in the hallway. Or his earlier summoning of the parchment to give himself a cover story. All of these little details really show us the dire nature of things in the Ministry at present and how "normal people," are just turning paranoid and how they're taking all of these extra precautions just to survive.  

 

Stellar as always!

 

<3 Courtney



Name: prideofprewett (Signed) · Date: 19 Nov 2021 03:21 AM · For: I

Did I...never...review...Ignatius? Like. Seriously, Courtney?

 

I most definitely read Ignatius last year when I somehow stumbled upon it on fanfiction.net (during the dark days when all I found were Weasley bashing fics). But I never reviewed it. Wow, my apologies. Let's remedy that situation. Another random side note before I dig into the specifics of this chapter, this story changed my overall perception of Percy Weasley. I never hated him though, I was just like WHATEVER level of indifferent about him. Look at me now though xD. Anyway, you did that. Be proud. :fist bump: 

 

"He was ashamed to admit he hadn’t seen it coming - not until it was too late, at least. Who would have thought it was that easy to cripple the Ministry? Weren’t there supposed to be goddamned safeguards in place to keep these things from happening? Millennia of evolving systems of government and they still hadn’t got it right." 

 

Now as I'm reading this, all I can think about is a certain Weasley idealism and I am an emotion about it. But this right here is absolutely perfect for Percy. Because it starts out on a somewhat idealistic note, what with him thinking The Ministry is a source for good and above corruption. But we also see his pragmatism that enables this shift that occurs within him. I just really liked how you conveyed that here. (And no, I am most certainly not thinking about Arthur, and no, I am not upset because of the current state of things between them within this timeline. Nope.)

 

This whole idea of his crushed idealism really just continues from that point in such a brilliant fashion though. What with, building a house upon sand (excellent metaphor) when he's a young lad trying to "build his own house," in a way outside of his own immediate family. Which...had certain things not happened to sort of accelerate this process for him...he likely would have been on his way to doing that also. Since it's a natural life progression and all that, ya know? So this really just adds to the somber tone of this piece, pointing out that he sought to start this next chapter of his life, but it's not at all turning out well. And then it's like he also feels that he has no one to blame for himself for this, which hurts because he sort of wants to get away from all of this and go home again BUT HE ACTUALLY CANT AND. I am still an emotion about that tiny magical detail you created of "oops The Burrow disappeared from all official records because of the protective spells placed on it, so you're stuck, dude." That has actually stuck with him since I first read this story.   

 

Anyway, jumping ahead of myself here. 

 

So the moment with the statue and how Percy has these internal conversations with himself about what he really wants to say and how it fights against what he has to say or present to the rest of the world...definitely an exhausting thing. And it shows a quiet strength within him, which I like. Because this would break most people. And maybe it does break away pieces of him, but he still manages to press on. I like characters with quiet or not obvious physical strength about them in general, so to kind of see Percy in this way here, was one of the things that I think really changed my perception of him in the series versus my perception of him in your writing.  

 

"Better benefits, sir?" This is actually funny in a dark comedy sort of way. But I think trying to crack a joke in an uber tense situation is a coping mechanism for some people. So it feels well timed and placed in this. And again, shows us that maybe this is one of the ways that Percy copes with the now oppressive nature of his job. 

 

And then, I really like how you explore the whole concept of the Weasley family being viewed as "traitors," in general. The bit about him not knowing whether or not he's being shown things or other things are concealed from him because he is a Weasley, is just another brilliant thing you do here to give depth to the family and their position in the series overall. But also, like holy shit, how terrifying to essentially being told that "we're gonna handle your family," and to be so powerless as to just have to passively but like "whatever." But feel like you're dying on the inside.

 

His inner turmoil is PAINFUL to read. But I mean, speaks to your abilities as a writer. So you should be proud that you can break my heart like this (again).

 

I'm actually glad that I'm rereading this again and properly reviewing because...why didn't I do that the first time around? (Seriously, I double and triple checked, because I just couldn't believe that I hadn't xD).  

 

<3 Courtney

 

PS- TAG!



Name: sunshine_locks (Signed) · Date: 02 May 2020 01:10 AM · For: IV

heya melanie! not here for a review request, but like, what, you expected me to not read this last chapter and not leave a review? lol

 

okay, so what i love about the beginning of this chapter is that you immediately show how much percy cares for his family. like even though there’s still a tense atmosphere from fred’s death, percy’s commitment to taking care of george just warms my heart so much.

 

this was not the time for the rest of the world to tolerate his weakness.” this almost makes me want to cry, because no sentence has encapsulated percy’s self-loathing more. i feel like he should be more forgiving of his own actions, as it was a war he went through, but he goes so far as to deny himself of even being able to let out his emotions about the carnage of the war, about his brother.

 

in the end, percy still has enemies, and i feel like this is something percy will take to his heart. i mean, rightfully so, but like… i guess percy should face his mistakes head on and acknowledge he made them, but in the end, it’s like his own prerogative on whether he chooses to dwell on them or whether he’ll learn and grow as a person from them.

 

this last scene actually did have me crying for a bit there lol. molly’s acceptance of percy back into the family just about killed me—because every once in a while we all need to hear that we are loved and appreciated by our loved ones, and at that very moment, percy needed it very much. molly, i have to say, is a very exceptional and kind and forgiving person. it was an impactful scene that you handled really well! <3

 

i also really like how you came back full circle with the themes of religion in the beginning and the end. i have no idea if confession will really help percy, but for his sake, i hope it lifts some of the guilt and burden off his shoulders. he should also probably take his ass to therapy too, lol.  

 

this was an amazing exploration of percy’s character, and it might be one of my favorites. i really have to get on to reading your other percy stories, because i feel like i’d really like them. this was my pleasure to read and thank you for writing! xx



Name: sunshine_locks (Signed) · Date: 01 May 2020 10:53 PM · For: III

hi melanie! here for your review request! :^D

 

this encounter is terrifying to me, like, being told you’re lying when you’re telling the truth is one of my nightmares. on top of that… i wonder how it must feel to forget a place you’ve known your whole life? like your family hides away, and you’re the one left behind in the dark. like it must truly be a stab in the gut, to be honest.

 

and then yaxley twists the knife more by implying that ginny was attacked and disfigured was a dick move, and he so obviously knew that percy would think about it constantly.

 

…is this the dreaded scene from deathly hollows? fuck. i really don’t want to see this firsthand through percy’s eyes.

 

but despite the inherent sadness of this scene, it was written really well. in the books, harry is close to the weasleys, but i feel like it just isn’t the same as being their brother and being a helping hand in raising them… so to see them die is like losing a part of yourself. the reunion itself was so tense—like it really had to be the moment when fred died, didn’t it. you can practically feel percy’s exhaustion and self-loathing in these moments.

 

the part of the scene that was done really well was when george finds out fred is dead. it’s so emotional and impactful that i almost half expected george to go into a rage about how it was percy who should’ve died or something. i can imagine that happening only because i think the entire weasley family took percy’s betrayal really badly.

 

you broke my heart this chapter—i was like half sure that this scene was going to come up when this story would start winding down in the fourth chapter.

 

thank you for writing, it was my pleasure to read! xx



Name: sunshine_locks (Signed) · Date: 30 Apr 2020 11:13 PM · For: II

hi melanie! here for your review request! excited to be back! i read the response to my previous review, and i just wanted to say that i’m not pushed away by any themes of religion at all! i was just curious because i don’t believe i’ve read a fic before where the weasleys are catholic or lapsed catholics, so i was just commenting on that.

 

anyways! to the story!

 

i really have to say that the first sentence of this story is really on the nose for modern day, and it made me laugh a bit lmao.

 

tiny twelve-year-olds are getting their names dragged through the mud for a cause that isn’t even worth it? even imagining them crying in any form hurts my heart really badly. :^(( how is percy keeping a straight face in all of this?

 

percy has an idea… hm. as much as i want him to help in the war efforts, i also don’t want him to put himself in the line of fire either. yaxley is a big name and he could unfortunately do many torturous things to percy’s family purely because he has the power to.

 

i… really feel for percy. he isn’t trusted by the good people nor the bad people, so he can’t really get anywhere, and on top of that, it seems he truly is alone in this, and loneliness is truly painful to deal with.

 

Besides, he assumed that someone related to Albus Dumbledore couldn’t be anything other than helpful.” well, albus dumbledore himself was at times supremely unhelpful, so i’m not sure how much merit this statement really holds lol.

 

i totally knew that aberforth wouldn’t be of too much help in the beginning lmaooo

 

but at least knowing that ginny was doing okay for herself must bring some relief, because in the end percy just wants to know if his family is okay—whether what he’s doing is even worth doing, you know? i also liked how you showcased percy’s more vulnerable side, because at times it can come off as if he’s sort of cold, you know?

 

and now he sort of has a connection to the good side too, a little, by communicating with aberforth now, doesn’t he? i just hope percy doesn’t get caught for it though.

 

i also enjoy how you explore what kind of person a war might bring out. percy is obviously seen as a traitor to the good side, but i think he’s really brave to put himself alongside people who are literally coldblooded murderers because he thinks that there may be something that will help. his help is probably seen as less valuable because he isn’t like the trio who are out in the frontlines, but his efforts aren’t really worth any less.

 

i think you do really well with helping the reader sympathize with percy while not excusing his previous actions too.

 

this was a great chapter to read! thank you for requesting! xx



Name: sunshine_locks (Signed) · Date: 30 Apr 2020 12:57 AM · For: I

hi melanie! here for a way overdue review request lol. i’m on a reviewing spree lately and i thought i may as well, right?

 

i don’t believe that i’ve ever read a story about percy weasley, though i’m very interested. i thought he was sort of a misunderstood character in the books, so i look forward to seeing how you’ll handle him!

 

ah, i really like the fact that he justifies his actions because he thinks his connections to the ministry will help protect his family. it’s a very human thing to do of him.

 

i cannot imagine how isolating it feels to be away from your family without any contact—and if he were to go back to them, it would be with his tail between his legs. i think that would be really humiliating for him, because from what i remember about him, he’s a really prideful character, so that going back to his family after he found out he was wrong would definitely be a hit to his pride, you know?

 

i’m actually really impressed with percy’s acting skills. i’m sure i would have failed to be calm even with such significant insignificant interaction! yaxley would definitely scare the hell out of me.

 

huh. something i had never considered was that the weasleys might be religious, even vaguely. that’s an interesting detail.

 

i really don’t know how mark felt in that situation when begging for help, but god it must be horrible? and then to be the person being asked for help but not being able to because your hands are tied, is also… painful.

 

god, there are no amount of words for how much i hate umbridge. every single thing about her annoys me, and it would literally be my joy to see her strangled. no offense but she is a fucking bitch for real.

 

that was an awful interaction to read between percy and yaxley. to be threatened that your family might be a target of harm is extremely anxiety inducing, and the fact that percy was able to keep his shit together for even any amount of time is amazing, mostly because it might be the front that he puts up that saves him or his family.

 

this was a great first chapter! thanks for writing! xx



Author's Response:

Hey Sunshine! Thank you for this review!

I love Percy and think he is very misunderstood and much maligned. I have a lot of sympathy for him, even if he wasn't always at his best. He's a great character to explore, and rapidly became one of my favorites -- if not my absolute favorite -- to write.

Hopefully the religion thing is not terribly off-putting? I know it's a debated topic. I never was someone who thought religion was completely incompatible with the wizarding world, and my personal headcanon is that as a general group they're no more or less religious than Muggles. But as Percy's middle name is the name of a well-known saint, I took that idea and ran with it! Throughout my other fics I make some very mild references to them being religious, though I headcanon all of the kids as sort of lapsed Catholics who only observe at Christmas and funerals and maybe weddings. Y'know, like most Catholics that I know IRL. XD

I do think that at first, there was a great deal of pride stopping Percy from reconnecting -- and then at some point, it just became to late because of these circumstances out of his control.

As far as Percy's acting skills, I think Percy has gone through most of his life acting, keeping his emotions locked up. For example, when he had his fight with his dad, that was almost certainly years of pent up resentment being unleashed, which he had never let on about before that.

Umbridge is a terrible hag who deserves to die a thousand deaths, this is objective truth.

Thank you for reading, and I sincerely hope you'll enjoy reading on! This story is very close to my heart as an exploration of one of Percy's lost years.

Melanie



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 09 Feb 2020 08:55 PM · For: IV

Hey Melanie! Here with your review!

 

What an end to a very powerful story! I think you did such a wonderful job exploring Percy’s mindset and why he did what he did during the war, and this chapter really expands upon all the things he has to feel guilty about, whether or not those things were his fault. Of course we know Fred’s death is not his fault, but grief is not logical and it’s understandable why he puts that blame on himself.

 

It was very touching as well that he sort of unofficially appointed himself the guardian of George to make sure he was still alive and to take care of him as best as he could. Not that he thinks he’s really helping, but more that this is his effort to atone for what he feels like is his fault. And being able to actually do something like carrying food up there and checking on George probably gives him a sense of purpose that he had otherwise lost.

 

The fact that Grace Wu died is kind of like twisting the knife in the wound of everything else that had already happened with Fred, and how much Percy already feels guilty about by this point. But something like that felt pretty appropriate in the narrative. As much as I understand why he was silent, he did ruin a lot of people’s lives with his silence and I’m glad you addressed that (even though I hate that it happened, and Percy didn’t necessarily need more to feel guilty about, but it was an important thing to return to in the story).

 

The scene when Percy cries to his mother was really beautiful. Mrs Weasley is so strong emotionally – she’s obviously so torn up about the death of her son but has been the emotional support for her entire family during that process. I appreciated that Percy was able to be vulnerable like that again because after so many years of being a cold stranger to them, this felt like a big step in healing the relationship with his family.

 

The end feels very fitting. Considering each successive chapter has built up more and more guilt on Percy’s shoulders, and the theme of him drifting so far, it worked really well in the story that he chose to go to confession, not only because he feels it’s a way to lessen the load on his own shoulders, but also because of the tie to his own past and how he hadn’t gone to confession for a long time and this was kind of like him trying to come back to a previous version of himself, in a way.

 

And just the power of talking to someone. I don’t have any experience in what it’s like to talk to someone at confession but I do have experience talking to a therapist, which can kind of serve the same purpose in some ways, or so I imagine. If that is what will help him move forward rather than being stuck in this pit of self loathing, it’s really great to see him taking that step towards healing.

 

Lastly, I don’t often see stories about religion on the archives and so I liked that that was a theme in this story. It makes sense that some wizards would be religious, just as some Muggles are, and I thought you incorporated that theme flawlessly in here and with the perfect character for that theme as well.

 

You did a phenomenal job with this story – very well crafted and well written. Thank you so much for drawing my attention to it!



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 07 Feb 2020 04:14 PM · For: I

Hi Melanie!! Here for your (embarrassingly, ridiculously) overdue review request! <3

 

I love your writing so so much, and this was no different! This first chapter was just absolutely remarkable!

 

The opening just immediately drew me in—the sort of stopped-in-time self-contemplation that Percy is doing is everything that makes me love him and his tormented, guilty self. It’s not entirely clear from which time period of the war he’s speaking in the beginning—is it when he’s still helping the Ministry with all their bureaucratic paperwork, or is he preparing to leave? It’s certainly before the Hogwarts Battle, because he mentioned Ginny still at school, but the sort of vagueness of the timeline in the beginning makes the story really open with this foggy, murky air, which I love. It’s a wonderful sort of atmosphere to begin with, especially given the content matter.

 

The way his retrospection then flows seamlessly into his memories of the day that things began to really go badly in the Ministry was very well done. <3

 

I wonder what that statue was?? I can only imagine what would cause such subdued whispers, what Percy would describe as “grotesque” and “disgusting,” and even then I can’t be sure, but it’s a great deal of fun trying to figure it out. My first thought was of Muggleborns in chains somehow, though I then wonder how the Death Eaters would have properly communicated the fact that they were Muggleborns. My next thought was that the statue was of Voldemort, having conquered the world and torn down the rights of Muggleborns in the Wizarding World. Either way, it seems like placing a statue representing the Death Eater cause is something that they would definitely do to propagandize. This entire first chapter gave me serious chills because of how eerily similar to the Nazi regime the Ministry was.

 

Now, Percy made me extremely extremely conflicted in this chapter. On the one hand, if I was in his position, I probably would have also been rather cowardly and pretended not to know the people being interrogated, simply out of fear for my life. On the other hand, I probably wouldn’t have been in his position! Though it certainly makes sense that being in the interrogation room with Umbridge would make Percy’s backbone and personal moral code wither, it doesn’t make sense that he continued to work at the Ministry, even after he knew things went south. I think there’s where my conflict lies—though I know he really loves Ministry jobs, I cannot fathom wanting to stay even a second underneath Yaxley. (I feel like that’s why so many officials in the Executive Branch of the U.S. government resigned in 2016, because they felt like they couldn’t uphold their morals while working underneath the new president.)

 

It’s kind of disturbing reading this, because when I learned about the Nazis and the Holocaust, we learned about how easy it was to turn everyday people into soldiers who would play brutal games while murdering humans, but also how the majority of the population weren’t hardcore Nazis, but were just bystanders. And Percy feels very much like a bystander right now, which makes me feel extremely nervous. To think about those poor students he knew in school, oh no…

 

This was SUCH a good chapter!! Thank you so much for requesting from me. <3

 

Love,

Eva



Author's Response:

No worries, Eva, and thank you so much!

 

I don't think it had occurred to me that the opening was sort of vague as to time, but now that you mention it, that does make sense, since I didn't specify a time -- and even if it does come off that way, I'm glad it still seems to work!

 

So the statute is what was described in DH when Harry, Ron, and Hermione infiltrate the ministry -- the statue of a witch and wizard sitting on thrones that are carved to look like the grotesque, twisted bodies of Muggles. (Though you raise an important point, how was it supposed to be obvious to anybody that they were Muggles? Anyway, Hermione was able to tell -- maybe it was implied from the "Magic is Might.")

 

His actions here presented me with a challenge in writing -- it's a difficult, fine line to walk, and I'm certainly not trying to excuse anything. I suppose the best I can opine on why he stayed is that he had no support system to go back to if he left (because he'd cut it off, obviously), and he believed that him leaving the Ministry would provoke retaliation against not only himself but his family. I recall the line he says in DH when he comes back for the battle, that he's been trying to find a way out of the Ministry for a while but "it's not easy, they're imprisoning traitors all the time." Also I think he would believe that the Ministry was his best source of information on what was happening. This is why Yaxley's behavior is also important in this story -- there's not a doubt in my mind that after the takeover happened, they'd have singled Percy out due to him being a Weasley and made it perfectly clear to him that they were watching him.

 

He is a bystander, though, I've intentionally made him that here. Sometimes I think we don't see enough depictions of people who give in almost completely to fear even when it's wrong to do so. I basically imagine Percy being frozen with fear during this entire time.

 

Thank you so much for this review, Eva!!

Melanie



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 26 Jan 2020 08:45 PM · For: III

Hi again! I’m here with your review from the forums!

 

What a way to find out about the Fidelius Charm.  I mean, Percy did walk right into that with how he’s been treating his family, but it would still come as a shock. Ouch.

 

I think this is such a well crafted chapter. I have mixed feelings about Percy for obvious reasons, but throughout the story you’ve always made his actions understandable, if frustrating. This chapter in particular I do really empathize with him because being in the state of not knowing, can be really excruciating and anxiety-inducing in so many different situations. Bad news is almost easier than the time before you hear the news, because at least you can move forward once you have bad news, you know? But he’s just sitting there not knowing if his sister is alive or what happened to her and I can’t blame him for acting the way he did. I feel so badly for him.

 

Omg, Percy trying to check if the Hog’s Head tunnel meets regulation WHILE HE’S ON THE WAY TO FIGHT IN THE BATTLE OF HOGWARTS, this is just about the funniest (and still so incredibly believable) thing I’ve read in this story. XD This is an oddly endearing moment. This is like his way of trying to regain some sense of normalcy and comfort in a time of complete chaos – to think about unimportant bureaucratic rules. He’s such a weirdo. I am still really proud of him.

 

Of course it’s Fred who extends the olive branch first when Percy walks in. Ouch this is going to hurt so much more later :’( I honestly don’t remember if this scene happened in canon, it’s been a while since I read the book, but you (or JKR) just had to make it Fred, didn’t you. :P

 

I like that you drew attention to the fact that Percy is still a kid. Even though he’s been working for the government in his grown-up job, out of school and living in the real world, he’s only twenty-one and he’s so unprepared, and he knows it here. I really appreciated the scene when Percy goes to his older brother for advice, or for help at least. I bet that hasn’t happened in a long time.

 

NO

I’M CRYING

I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN IN THE NEXT CHAPTER I WAS NOT READY

 

As much as I struggled reading the last part of this chapter, I think you wrote it really well. It’s almost harder to read this than it was from Harry’s POV in the books, because this has a whole other layer of guilt in it that Harry didn’t have. Harry had never disappointed the Weasley family, and although Harry probably felt guilty in that moment because that’s a normal reaction after death, it’s even more intensified with Percy because of the distance that’s been building up between him and his family for years, and his publicly dissociating himself  from them (even if he was secretly still worried about them). There’s so much self loathing in that scene, as he takes the blame onto himself as each member of his family finds out, and it is understandable given what he has been through, but gah that was so hard to read. I’m glad you included that last line though, when his father sits with him in the Great Hall. They’re suffering together, and I think that hand motion was just to tell him that it isn’t Percy’s fault, even if he can’t say it aloud. That’s how I interpreted it anyway.

 

This was a hard chapter to read, but I think you did really incredible work here. Great writing as always!!



Author's Response:

Thank you! <3

 

I think at the end of the day, understandable is what I'm going for here. I don't necessarily expect anyone to look at his actions and be willing to excuse them (and I headcanon that he himself does not consider them excusable), but maybe just to contemplate the situation he was in and find some empathy.

 

Percy is really such good fodder for humor, and even in a dark, serious story like this it's hard to resist poking fun at his obsessive need for things to be up to code.

 

Fred did, in fact, shake Percy's hand first, so I can't take credit for that. JKR absolutely did that on purpose, I believe, and it just tears my heart out.

 

I was really happy when you picked up on the references to his age. One of the biggest things that has always weighed heavily on me from the books is the idea of how young all these people are. Harry being 17 when he goes willingly to his death; Fred is only 20 when he dies (*sob*), even younger than Lily and James were, and Percy is only 21 (and was not even 19 when he had his argument with his dad, which is...we now know your brain doesn't even finish developing until something like age 23...)

 

I am also stoked to hear you comment on the interaction with Bill. I headcanon Percy idolized Bill growing up.

 

Fred's death was horrifying to write, not least of all because I definitely belabored it more than the book did. And I think your interpretation of that last line was exactly right!

 

Thank you as always for your thoughtful comments!

Melanie



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 13 Jan 2020 08:30 AM · For: IV

Hello my dear!

 

I'm here for your fifth review as a thank you for your donation to the Australian wildfire relief.

 

Well, it seems my fears have been confirmed. This chapter is bound to break my heart as I thought it might. We see what life is like post-Battle of Hogwarts and how the different members of the Weasley family are dealing with Fred's death. So far, it seems not that well.

 

I think it seems quite fitting that Percy would take on the watch for George. I could imagine he'd feel incredibly guilty about Fred's death, so trying to help George through it might help him assuage a bit of that guilt and channel some of that grief. That moment where he snaps and pounds on the door is very poignant. It sort of shows the tense relationship everyone has fallen into.

 

I like that you didn't flinch away from making Percy deal with the terrible things he'd aided. His confrontation with Mark was difficult, but I think it's important for him to come to terms with it all. Grace Wu is a consequence of people like him sitting by and doing nothing.

 

The moment between Molly and Percy was possibly my favorite of the entire story. This is exactly who I imagine Molly to be. Kind. Giving. Loving. Able to see the best in everyone. Her response to Percy is exactly what he needs to start recovering. I think she's right. Things will be difficult, but together they will all find their way.

 

I like how you tied things back into the church at the end. It seems like the first page of a new chapter for Percy.

 

Excellent work on this story. It was a very good read.

 

~Kaitlin



Author's Response:

Hi Kaitlin!

 

I did think it was important that there be some tanglible consequences of Percy's time at the Ministry, which could be more or less linked to him, even if he wasn't the person behind the decision-making.

 

Thank you for your comments about the scene with Molly -- that scene was in my mind before I even wrote the first chapter of this story. I headcanon Percy in general as someone who really doesn't see his own self-worth (which I think is part of why he was always so driven and tightly wound), and in particular after the events of DH -- and I wanted a moment where somebody would show him unconditional love, forgiveness, and acceptance, and I think that always had to be his mother.

 

I really appreciate all of these thoughtful reviews. Thank you so much!

Melanie



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 13 Jan 2020 08:30 AM · For: III

Hello again!

 

I'm back for another review for your donation to the Australian wildfire relief.

 

The first scene in this chapter is so tense. It's so in character for Yaxley to rub the capture of Harry and Ron in Percy's face.  Naturally, this would be shocking and upsetting to Percy. I think his polished and practiced veneer would absolutely crack under this pressure. He must be terrified for Harry and Ron.

 

The scene that follows is so heartbreaking though. I mean, I understand why the rest of the family wouldn't have told him about the fidelus charm. They don't know if they can trust him anymore, but for Percy it is understandably tragic. He hasn't let go of his family. It's just pride and shame that's kept him from them. I do hope he'll have the chance to show them that he never truly abandoned them.

 

Ugh. Just when you think he couldn't get kicked anymore, Yaxley had to toss out that awful comment about Ginny and the way she's being treated at the school. Poor Percy. It must be impossibly difficult for him to not be able to reach out and find out if she's okay.

 

I'm glad that at the end Aberforth reached out and gave Percy the chance to join. He knows it's now or never for Percy and that he'll regret it forever if he misses it.

 

The reunion with the rest of the Weasley's was perfect. It wasn't overly dramatic, but you can definitely tell how meaningful it was to everyone. I always loved that it was Fred who extended his hand first. You can tell just how serious the moment is by that.

 

Another excellent chapter! I look forward to what comes in the last one, although I'm a bit concerned it's going to break my heart.

 

~Kaitlin



Author's Response:

Thank you! I appreciate your comments on the first scene. I think Yaxley's veneer cracked a little bit there, too, being in a rage over the new developments, and up until now he'd only been psychologically terrorizing Percy, not manhandling him. I'm glad you felt this scene was tense, exactly the impression I hoped it would make.

 

The thing with the Fidelius just hit me one day - like after they cast the charm, Percy literally couldn't have returned home. This was sort of the mental nail in the coffin for him.

 

I think it would be very easy for threats against his siblings to get to him. Percy, if you may recall, ran into the lake to help pull Ron out at the end of the second task in GoF, and he was really freaked out at Ron being underwater. I think Percy has a great capacity for love and has a protective streak.

 

I always loved that about Fred, too; like nothing else mattered except that they were back together, and Fred had enough perspective to understand that.

 

Melanie



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 13 Jan 2020 08:29 AM · For: II

Hello again!

 

I'm here for your third review for your donation! Thank you so much for your patience as I recover from my surgery and slowly get through your reviews.

 

Wow. I'm really liking this story so far. I think you've really done an excellent job of getting inside of Percy's head at this particular time in his life. With how terrifyingly swift the takeover of the Ministry was, I could see how he might feel trapped into a corner and forced to just keep his head down.

 

It's terrible to think of the Death Eater's tormenting the former ministry employees, but I think it also makes quite a bit of sense. There would be absolutely no love lost between them all. I could also see why the Death Eaters would view Percy as a threat and want to push and test him.

 

I can't say that I ever thought of Percy as being the bravest of the Gryffindors or of the Weasleys, but he did show flashes of that brave nature in his search of Yaxley's office. He's presented with an opportunity to find a bit of useful information and he takes it. I'm glad to see the rebel inside of him waking up a bit.

 

I thought the bit of detail about how the decent co-workers perceive Percy was a smart inclusion. We know Percy to be the ultimate rule follower and on the straight and narrow from the books, but these co-workers would have no prior context. Of course, they would question his integrity.

 

You did a great job of capturing Aberforth's personality as well. He is brash and blunt and has little time for nonsense. I think the way he calls out Percy's selfishness is so necessary to inspire that change within Percy. At the end though, we do see the kindness hidden under Aberforth's rough exterior as he lets Percy know that Ginny is doing alright.

 

I look forward to seeing what the next chapter brings.

 

~Kaitlin



Author's Response:

Thank you!! Please, no rush, it was kind of you to offer. :)

 

I felt I had to walk a fine line with this fic, where I show perhaps a sympathetic side of Percy, without being a total apologist for the things that were admittedly bad. I'm glad it seems to be working out. I could write a thesis on this guy and why I think he is the personality he is, and personally I can understand his reasons for fighting with his dad and leaving; and while he didn't do everything right, I don't think he was 100% unjustified or without sympathetic reasons, either. Once he found himself under Death Eater Ministry control, I think he just didn't know what to do.

 

I agree with you, that I don't see him being the bravest of his family, not even close. I see a lot of latent fear and insecurity in him. I think he would have become pretty painfully aware of his lack of nerve, as well.

 

The interactions between Aberforth and Percy were fun to write. Percy is so uptight and Aberforth...just doesn't give a F about anyone's opinions.

 

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!

Melanie



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 13 Jan 2020 08:29 AM · For: I

Hello my dear!

 

I'm here to leave you your second review for your donation to the wildfire relief in Australia!

 

I was immediately interested in this story because it looks to revolve around Percy and I feel like he's a character who doesn't get written about often, but who has a ton of space for a very interesting backstory. I'm really curious to see how you imagine him during the years where he worked at the ministry.

 

Yaxley sure is a devious character. He isn't an outlandish, comic book type villain, but instead quiet and cunning. You can see all of the traps he's setting, trying to get Percy to tie himself up. It's beautiful characterization and it really sets an ominous tone. It must've been awful for Percy to see Penelope's name on the interrogation lists and to know he couldn't do anything to help her.

 

Obviously, Percy is quite clever and he knows he can't make waves, but I can't imagine that he'll remain passive for the entirety of the story. I'll be curious to see if he starts to find ways to fight back a little bit here and there as the story progresses. I have to imagine he will.

 

The religious aspect of this story is very interesting as well. You don't see it incorporated into the Harry Potter world very often, but I do think that it makes sense that in this moment of Percy's life he might start thinking about his religious values. I do hope that when he finally does go into church, it inspires him to revolt.

 

I'm really excited to see what comes next! Good work.

 

~Kaitlin



Author's Response:

Hi Kaitlin, thank you for all these reviews!

 

I appreciate your comments about Yaxley. I wanted him to come off as this sinister character playing mind games with Percy, partially to try to really work out Percy's loyalties, and partially just because he enjoys causing pain and terror. I did want to create this atmosphere where Percy feels scared to do anything, and I think it's reasonable to believe they would have had him under surveillance, and he would have known that - and as he said in DH when he showed up for the Battle, "They're imprisoning traitors all the time." To me that said a lot about the position he found himself in, even if at first it was all due to his own decisions - I headcanoned that once he was in it, and the Ministry fell, he couldn't find the way out and felt helpless.

 

Melanie



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 04 Jan 2020 10:18 PM · For: II

Hi Melanie! I’m back with your review request from the forums. I’m really glad you re-requested!

 

As much as I’m frustrated with Percy right now in the fact that he is staying neutral and thereby letting the Death Eaters succeed, I’m almost a little impressed with how well he’s able to do it. If I were in his position I’m sure I’d start sobbing at work.

 

YES I love that he’s snooping in Yaxley’s office, even if it’s a mostly fruitless endeavor that yields no damning results, but at least he’s trying to do something.

 

The discussion between him and Aberforth is really interesting to read. And just what I’d imagine it to be, too – I can’t see Aberforth being any sort of understanding about someone who prioritized their personal and career ambitions over their family to the point of alienating and severing ties with their family – that’s something Aberforth in particular would be pretty touchy about.

 

Percy doesn’t know what he wants, but he does know that he wants to feel like he’s doing something rather than being a doormat to the Death Eaters, and to him this seems like the best way he has so far. But to Aberforth, Percy hasn’t really given any indication yet that he wants to actually be involved and do something, and has only given off the impression that he wants to make just enough of a connection to give himself a pat on the back for caring. Percy hasn’t done much to risk his own neck yet, while Aberforth does that every day, so there’s a lot of disconnect there meaning it’ll take some more effort on Percy’s part and probably a lot of time on Aberforth’s. I’m really interested to see how this acquaintance (I hesitate to call it a friendship, because it’s really not yet) develops. The fact that Aberforth finally does offer Percy a bit of information, that Ginny is doing well, is a promising sign, even if it doesn't really tell Percy anything.

 

The tone in this chapter feels so much more high-stakes than the previous one! Chapter 1 felt like Percy was settling into a fate that he didn’t like but that he couldn’t change, but here he’s starting to do little things to change it. It’s like a snowball that’s just started rolling down a hill and is small for the meantime but has the potential to either gather a lot more snow or just dissolve into nothing, haha. I’m hopeful it’s the first, because I know Percy eventually fights in the Battle of Hogwarts. But whether that’s his first act of standing up for himself, or the cumulative event of a lot of little things he did behind the scenes that we never knew about in the books, I guess I have yet to find out.

 

This continues to be a great story and I really like the way you’ve written Percy.



Author's Response:

Hi Kristin!

I appreciate your comments in particular about thinking about what you might do if you were in Percy's position. I realize that as he's behaving here, and how I've written him in general in this story, he may come across as spineless and passive, putting his own safety above that of everyone else, and that was intentional. I'd never condone anybody propping up a fascist regime if they had a way not to, but I think it's very easy for all of us to speculate from behind our computers about what we would do in such a situation, and I tried to construct what I think is an honest portrayal of what a completely ordinary person might do (or not do) when thrust into this horrible, intimidating situation. I think Percy is also feeling how small and insignificant he is, and that is making matters worse.

I hope you continue to enjoy this story. Percy may not become a resistance-leading hero, but I think his moral compass is becoming more calibrated and he's clinging to his last shreds of hope that he can do something, no matter how small.

Melanie



Name: lostrobin (Signed) · Date: 01 Jan 2020 01:12 AM · For: I

I didn't think it was possible for me to love Percy Weasley more than I already did.

 

Congratulations. I love how well you write him and the Ministry and even Umbridge. They're so lifelike (ahhh, I say this way too often in reviews), and Percy is just his wonderful self. He's so snarky and just... Percy.

 

I'm only on the first chapter right now, but I'm definitely going to be reading the rest to see how Percy's story goes. This is wonderful, and I loved reading every word of this chapter.

 

Happy New Year!

 

-A



Author's Response:

Always love to find another person who likes Percy! He's fascinating.

Percy snark is the best. I like to imagine him a little bit pissy but in a really dignified way, and also he has an excellent filter. I think if he said half the things he actually thought, he'd be totally savage.

I really hope you do read on! The story is complete at 4 chapters, and I would love to hear your thoughts!

Thank you so much for this review, and happy new year!

Melanie



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 27 Dec 2019 11:01 PM · For: I

Hi, here with your review request! We may not have interacted much here yet but I think I remember your username from years ago on the old site! I had a different name then (marauderfan). Anyway, I’m excited to check out your story.

 

Percy is such an interesting character and there’s so much to explore with a character study here, especially during and after the war.

 

Omg, I love the fact that Percy wants to make a joke about the terrible benefits that come with his government job, but bites his tongue. In canon we only see Percy through the eyes of others who are outwardly funnier, but what I love about this take on his characterization is that he isn’t humorless, he just has a filter and an intense sense of propriety that overrides his dry humor. Percy in his head, uninhibited, is probably a lot funnier than Percy out loud.

 

I have such conflicted feelings about Percy’s actions in this chapter. On the one hand, it’s so hard to read him doing absolutely nothing, as his silence makes him complicit in the Ministry’s crimes, like denying that he knows Mark Emmons or Grace Wu just to save his own skin. On the other hand, I get it, sort of. He and everyone else in his position are too scared of what will happen if they stick their neck out, and if he does do something, it might be in vain. Like what if Percy had stood up for Mark? He might just end up quietly following him to Azkaban or wherever they were sending the Muggle-borns and that’s the end of that. So I understand why he’s doing what he’s doing but ugh it is so hard to read and just watch him let all this happen, because what he’s doing right now is exactly how a bunch of horrible things in history happened too.

 

Character driven stories are my favorites, and I especially love that you’re writing about Percy. There isn’t much fic (that I’ve read) from his POV during this time of the war, and I like that you’re highlighting that he didn’t want to run out on his family, and his heart is actually in the right place, but  he’s a lot more multidimensional than he appears in the books, and as a result, more sympathetic. I still want to yell at him though :p It’s interesting too the fact that you included that quote in the beginning, because setting the world on fire is perhaps the opposite of what Percy is doing here, so I’m really looking forward to seeing how this story progresses  as Percy realizes he’s had enough. That quote gives me a little hope about Percy’s future actions, haha.

 

I also really enjoy your writing style, it’s very clean and focused on the right things. The tone in the beginning is very… fateful? I’m not sure if that’s the right word. But whatever it is, it’s the right tone, and starting out with discussing what he could have done, what he should have done, that he’d been wrong, it has this air of finality to it which kind of hints at why Percy doesn’t do anything – he sort of thinks that this is what he chose, and that he thinks it’s too late to un-choose it (that’s definitely not the right word haha but you know what I mean) There’s kind of a feeling of helplessness throughout the whole chapter, in his thoughts and in his actions.

 

I definitely hope to read more of this story – I’m really interested in what I’ve read of it so far and am very curious to see where you go with it. Great writing!



Author's Response:

Hey Kristin! Thank you for this long, thoughtful review!

You are spot-on with your comments about Percy having a filter and a sense of propriety, that's exactly how I envision him. He has a personality, he just completely buries it. I'm happy I was able to communicate that idea here.

Also I do like hearing that you had conflicted feelings. I really didn't just want to make him into a victim; he did end up in this situation partially because of his own decisions. But I also appreciate that you can sort of see both sides here - he's not acting in a very noble way, but on the other hand, if he does it could be game over for him.

I am glad you pointed out the St. Ignatius quote - I did, in fact, use it ironically. In a way, I expect going out and setting the world on fire is exactly what he wanted to do and thought he would do after school...except he's really not doing such a great job of it.

All of your responses and insights on this chapter are really make me so happy, because your understanding of his character and what's going on here is exactly what I was trying to convey, so it's very heartening to hear that it seems to be effective so far! I would love to hear from you on future chapters!

Melanie



Name: hopelesslyaddicted (Signed) · Date: 13 Dec 2019 09:39 PM · For: I

Melanie!!

I remmeber this story of yours being published on HPFF and have always wondered about this particular section of of they series and you portrayed it beautifully! You kept Percy's character in tact and that's what I love. Still working for the Ministry and secretly worrying about his family.Great job, lovely!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much!



Name: Noelle Zingarella (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2019 07:35 PM · For: IV

Hi Melanie! I’m here for the gift-giving event :D

 

I haven’t said this yet, but I really appreciate the quotes from St. Ignatius of Loyola you’ve put in this story :D

 

 

What a wonderfully satisfying ending to a wonderfully satisfying story. I love that you didn’t shy away from the fact that Percy’s desertion of his family has consequences. Even though he’s been forgiven—he still has to live with and work through all the bad feelings that his actions caused. I love that he’s able to see Ron as a man now and understand that Ron needs time. And I love that he gets George on a deeper level than the rest of the family—he knows George needs space to grieve and he appoints himself the guardian that will ensure that George gets it.

 

The meeting that Percy has with Mark was awful. Too little too late. But Percy takes it like a man—as he takes all of the wounds that fall on him after he comes home. He knows they are his penance.

 

But he can’t hold in his anguish forever—even though he tries to. It’s like he’s punishing himself by holding it in—he doesn’t feel like he deserves to grieve. When he finally gives into it all after Molly comes to have a heart to heart with him—I definitely shed a few tears myself. She’s such a wonderful mother and she knows what to say to him.

 

Ending it with Percy going to confession was, I think, the perfect ending to this story of redemption.

 

Thank you for writing this and for shedding light on these dark days in Percy’s life! 

 

Yours,

Noelle



Author's Response:

Noelle, thank you again so much for reviewing all 4 chapters and for your kind words.

 

St. Ignatius of Loyola has some fantastic quotes, and I thought they worked really nicely as thematic signposts, so thank you!

 

I kind of liked pursuing this idea that Percy realizes his kid brother has been forced to grow up way faster than Percy himself, or perhaps any of them, and while I can see them falling back into a good-natured older-younger sibling relationship again down the road, Percy here realizes that little Ron has seen some serious stuff and is not to be trifled with anymore. I think that Percy would also be acutely aware that, because of his previous actions that were so hurtful, he should not be burdening his family with his problems. Even though of course, Molly doesn't see his issues as any less worthy.

 

Interesting tidbit: the scene with Molly was the very first one that formed in my mind before I even wrote one word of this story. The entire story was always leading up to that scene, with him breaking down and receiving the assurance of forgiveness from his mother, sort of as a representative for the whole family. In restrospect, I've considered a couple of times that maybe I shafted Arthur a little bit by not making him a more prominent character and giving this scene to him instead of Molly, since Arthur was the one Percy yelled at in OotP. But honestly, I don't see Arthur having this kind of conversation the way Molly would. And we see bits and pieces in the books of Arthur's tendency to bottle up his feelings until he snaps (not unlike Ron or Percy), and I think I see him just sort of having a quiet moment with Percy like in chapter 3, where they both know they're okay again (or as close to okay as they can get). I think the message that he was forgiven was not going to sink in without Molly's stubborn and expressive brand of affection.

 

I'm happy to know you thought the theme involving his religion worked out. I was trying to walk a fine line with it. And I think the confession was necessary to demonstrate he has a real appreciation and remorse for everything he's done.

 

Thank you a million times over!

Melanie



Name: Noelle Zingarella (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2019 07:24 PM · For: III

Hi Melanie! I’m here for the gift-giving event :D

 

Maybe Percy’s taking the information about who’s Floos were being watched to Aberforth DID help, since his family’s house was put under Fidelius Charm after that incident!

 

I felt that this chapter was building up to trouble with the way it began: Percy getting careless with his answers and his persona at the Ministry. This scene with Yaxley throwing him up against the wall had me holding my breath. But Percy holds it together and manages to get through the encounter alive. I really love how you’re fleshing out his character, and how the qualities that he has that sometimes annoy people are the qualities that are keeping him alive in this precarious situation he’s found himself in.

 

My heart sank for him when he realized that he couldn’t go home now even if he wanted to. He’s shut out and on his own in a way that he wasn’t before. 

 

Man to I hate Yaxley! Him needling Percy about his family—and finally getting to him when he talks about what happened to Ginny is so upsetting. Honestly, I don’t understand why the Weasleys sent her to school that year. I mean, I guess the didn’t have much choice—but she’s got a target painted on her back! What a terrible situation.

 

Even though this is a short story, I think you’ve done a great job capturing the terrible monotony of Percy’s situation. He goes to work, endures a day of needling and constant terror that something will happen to his family or to him—all while being bored senseless by his tedious busywork. Then he goes home and sits all alone all night, wondering if the Death Eaters are going to show up and kill him. Then he gets up and does it again. It’s so awful.

 

The interruption of this cycle by the sudden announcement of the battle is thrilling! And I love that, even though Percy is coming in on the right side, he’s still got an attitude about it. Percy asking Aberforth if the tunnel from his bar to Hogsmeade has been inspected is priceless—a great moment of levity in an otherwise pretty dark story, and so very Percy.

 

In fact, everything here is so Percy—from his stumbling through the dark, to his blurted apology to his family (which I loved so very much)—to his realization that he doesn’t know how to fight (he works at a desk for goodness sake!). The moment where he asks Bill what it likes to die—and Bill has the perfect answer made me tear up. And I like how respectful Fleur is in that moment. It’s a little thing but it shows us how much she cares about and respects Bill.

 

You punched me in the gut with the line about how Percy wasn’t good at thinking outside the box and there being other ways to punish a person. It would have been justice if he had died—but instead, he has to live with Fred dying. And the way you wrote out his punishment was so well done—especially how he had to experience Fred dying not once, but multiple times—every time he told another member of his family about what he had witnessed.

 

Really excellent work in this chapter! 

 

Yours,

Noelle



Author's Response:

I do think that Percy has deliberately crafted his own persona, not just in this story but throughout his life in general. Almost everything he does seems very calculated and measured, though we also see great capacity for emotion and impulsivity (he goes wild when Gryffindor wins at Quidditch; he runs into the lake fully clothed to help pull Ron out at the end of the Triwizard second task). So at this point in the story, he's starting to crack and some of the passions are starting to show.

 

I'm with you on the thing about Ginny going to school. I get that it was compulsory, but...good grief. They had to know what they were sending her into.

 

Sometimes I think I could have made this story longer, to get into more details about his life and the Ministry, but it was always mean to be fairly short and impactful, and I'm happy to hear it seems to have worked out in your opinion!

 

Percy snark is probably my favorite thing ever. He's so pissy and dignified at the same time.

 

I am jumping up and down with excitement and appreciation that you pointed out that part about Bill and Fleur. Bill is the oldest brother and I'm sure Percy would have grown up adoring him and wanting to be just like him. And I think Fleur really is such a graceful and gracious person. I don't feel comfortable in my ability to write her as a main character, but I like being able to throw in little references to characters like that and how I understand them.

 

I also really appreciate you pointed out the line about "other ways to punish a person." I love hearing what lines had an impact on a reader, and it's especially awesome when it's a line that was important to me when writing. I think Percy went there fully expecting he could die, not allowing himself to believe that it could happen to someone so blameless, and especially not five feet away from him.

 

Thank you, Noelle!

Melanie



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2019 07:21 PM · For: IV

Things slowed down in this chapter, whichis a nice balance after the rollercoaster of the chapter before! But now that the action is over, Percy has to deal with some consequences and find his way back to the family. But this chapter was just as heartbreaking as the last! The aftermath of war is messy and complicated, and I applaud you for not shying away from it. I think it's a really important part of Percy's story!

 

Percy and Ron had formed some kind of uneasy, undefined understanding. -- Mmm, I love me some alliteration.    

 

Oof, Grace didn't make it! That's awful! 

 

Percy crying to Molly is a really poignant scene, and I thank you for writing it. He's kept it together for so long but it's finally weighed down on him, and he can stop pretending now, and relax.

 

Oh, the church again! Full. Circle. I love it so much! He's really reached a new chapter in his life, and I've loved reading the journey and change he's been on! I've enjoyed this story immensely! Percy is such an underrated character and I'm so glad you chose to write about him, and write him so perfectly!



Author's Response:

Hey Bianca, thank you once again for all of these thoughtful reviews!! As I said, it warms my heart to know you enjoyed reading this, as Percy has become a character very dear to me, and I was glad of the opportunity to tell his story (as least as I imagined it). I could probably write a thesis on why his personality is the way it is and why that's okay.

 

You know, the scene with Molly was the very first one that popped into my head before I even wrote one word of this story. The entire story was always leading up to that scene, with him receiving forgiveness from his mother. In restrospect, I've thought a couple of times that maybe I shafted Arthur a little bit by not making him a more prominent character and giving this scene to him instead of Molly since Arthur was the one Percy yelled at in OotP - but honestly, I don't see Arthur having this kind of conversation the way Molly would. And we see bits and pieces in the books of Arthur's tendency to bottle up his feelings until he snaps (not unlike Ron or Percy), and I think I see him just sort of having a quiet moment with Percy like in the last chapter where they both know they're okay again (or as close to okay as they can get).

 

Anyway, all of this is to say, I think somebody needed to tell Percy what he really doesn't believe, which is that he is valuable and loved. And I see Molly doing it and knowing that he must be dying inside.

 

I enjoyed tying this story in to religion and I'm really glad it seemed to come off well. Percy's middle name was the inspiration, and St. Ignatius of Loyola has a lot of beautiful quotes that also helped to sort of guide and signpost the story.

 

Thank you, thank you, again and again!

 

Melanie



Name: Noelle Zingarella (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2019 06:59 PM · For: II

Hi Melanie! I’m here for the gift-giving event :D

 

“Pride’s a hell of a sin, boy” And so it is.

 

Percy’s getting in deeper and deeper at work—and it looks like Yaxley is putting pressure on him on purpose. Is Yaxley trying to torture Percy? Is he trying to figure out what side he’s really on? Both? 

 

Even though some might accuse Percy of being a coward for not standing up to Yaxley, or standing up for the people who have been dragged in for the sham muggle-born trials—I love how you’ve emphasized how brave he’s actually being. It must have been insanely difficult for Percy to keep his poker-face going under all of that pressure. He’d have made a good spy if he knew what he was doing.

 

In fact, he even does try some spying in this chapter—but he’s hampered by the fact that he doesn’t really know how to be one. He finds out that the Floo network is being watched—but that’s not exactly new news. And when he goes to Aberforth, he doesn’t seem to know what he’s looking for. He clearly wants to help but has no idea what to do. And Aberforth’s advice that Percy should go home isn’t bad advice.

 

I wonder what would have happened if he had gone home.

 

Must keep reading—this story is so good!

 

Yours,

Noelle



Author's Response:

Hey Noelle. :)

 

Thanks for quoting that line - Aberforth was fun to write, and his very bald way of stating things.

 

I definitely envision Yaxley doing all these things for both those purposes. He can never be sure, because of who Percy is, where Percy's allegiances are. Also, I think he just likes being sadistic and messing with Percy, which also has the benefit of keeping Percy underfoot.

 

Since writing this I have learned of the spy!Percy theory, where people theorize that Percy may have actively used his position to subvert the regime, or that he was recruited into a resistance group, and/or that Percy was planning this all along when he had his falling out with Arthur and the rest of the family, and that it was all staged all along. (Aphoride has a great fic about Percy being recruited by other rebels to use the Ministry bureacracy to help the resistance.) That's a very fun theory and entirely plausible, but I felt more moved by this idea that he became isolated and fairly helpless because of errors in his own judgment and had to survive within that reality.

 

Melanie



Name: Noelle Zingarella (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2019 06:48 PM · For: I

Hi Melanie! I’m here from your forum request :D

 

Right off the bat, I really like the way you voice Percy. You’ve captured his feelings of betrayal and aloneness. It’s so sad to think of him trying not to wonder what his mom is making for dinner, or worrying about Ginny at school. 

 

I thought the line that suited him most was how he was justifying his staying put in his job at the Ministry because it might be helping protect his family. And who knows—maybe it was. But he also knows that this is a form of justification—because for whatever reason he’s not ready to go back to that family and admit that he was wrong and that they were right.

 

The statements about how he’s good a justifying things—and that he’s not so good at picking up on signals that require a certain kind of intuition really make him come alive to me. I can imagine him coming into work after Voldemort has taken over the ministry and just missing all the bad vibes until it’s too late.

 

Thank you for going there in terms of Percy’s religion. I’ve always thought that the Weasleys were Catholic, and I think it makes a power image for this story. The idea of Percy walking past a church every day as he goes to work at the Voldemort controlled ministry is chilling. He feels the worm of conscience, he wants to confess—but at this point he doesn’t believe it’ll do any good. 

 

Percy as the scribe at the muggle-born trials was so upsetting. You did a brilliant job with his thought process here—what led him to deny knowledge of his classmates. He was just keeping his head down and trying to save himself. But all this has been thrust on him so suddenly—he hasn’t had time to think about anything. He’s just reacting and I think it’s understandable that he would react in a way to preserve himself. But it’s still hard to read about.

 

All that is to say the trial scenes in this chapter were perfectly chilling—and the ensuing conversation with Yaxley even more so. Percy’s in a lot of danger and he knows it.

 

Great start to this story! Thank you for coming by my thread :D

 

Yours,

Noelle



Author's Response:

Hey Noelle! I'm so glad to get your thoughts on this. You have rapidly become one of my favorite authors after returning to fanfic!

 

I think of Percy as being constantly stuck inside his own head, and while he may not always be completely self-aware, I think he's capable of self-reflection and would be doing a lot of it at this time, including his aptitude for justifying whatever he's doing.

 

Percy's middle name Ignatius really clinched it for me in terms of the religion theme and making him Catholic.

 

I did think it was necessary to continue to show some less than savory behaviors by Percy, rather than just making him a total victim, because he's complicated. Initially - and you may appreciate this - when I started writing this story I was going to try to do a thing with him denying knowing Harry or denying being an ally to Harry three times - I'm sure you get why. And then I changed it and decided to have him deny three people - Mark, Grace, and Harry - to make it a little more subtle and also show that this war is affecting so many people other than just Harry.

 

So kind of you to go on and review all the others chapters, and I'm truly thrilled you wanted to do so. I am really happy with how this story turned out and it's pretty special to me.

 

Melanie



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2019 06:44 PM · For: III

I experienced a rollercoaster of emotions in this chapter! I'm still not recovered! Okay, I've really got to order my thoughts here!

 

My heart completely broke for Percy when he realised he couldn't go home even if he tried. That realisation was so visceral on the page, it was such a strong sad moment!

 

I love that Aberforth gave Percy the chance to do something real. I was so hoping this story would cover how Percy ended up at the Battle and you did not disappoint! And because this chapter felt like a whirlwind with so much going on, I think it mimicked how Percy felt, just being swept up in the action without much thought.

 

His reunion with his family -- my heart!

 

Percy’s problem was that he never could think outside the box. There were other ways to punish a person. -- Ugh, heartbreaking!

 

So much emotion in this chapter, ahh! You've done such a wonderful job with it!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much! There is definitely a lot happening in this chapter very quickly.

 

I often wondered whether Percy had ever made any attempts to break away from the Ministry and go home, and I have no idea in canon whether he ever found out about the Fidelius charm, but I thought that would just be the saddest thing if he learns that he literally can't even find his own home anymore and now he's 100% alone.

 

I am really appreciative of you catching that line about there being other ways to punish a person, and bringing it up here. I always love to hear what lines in particular have caught my reader's attentions, and I especially get excited when it turns out to be a line that was very important to me when writing. This was one of those lines. I think he went there expecting he would probably die, and rightfully so, and he probably couldn't have even entertained the idea that it would be someone else, much less happening right next to him. I have heard a lot of people comment in discussion about the books that Percy should have died, it would have been the perfect end to his arc and Fred didn't deserve to go - but what does death care about who deserves it? Fred's death was tragic because he didn't deserve it. JKR couldn't just kill off all the bad people or morally grey people and leave all the good people alive. And while I don't think Percy would have "deserved" to die either, it would have made more "sense" from a moral perspective and been less shocking. It was poignant and terrible that he had to watch his brother die mere feet away from him.



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2019 06:44 PM · For: II

I really enjoyed seeing a really vulnerable side of Percy in this chapter. I love how you showed us a bit more about what life is like at work with his other colleagues, and didn't just tell us. It definitely had more of an impact to see how Percy isn't trusted by those on the 'good' side as well as the bad. The poor guy!

 

Percy knew she was a good, normal person by the way she walked with her head down and a constantly worried expression on her face. -- This is really sad but definitely speaks volumes about the climate of the Ministry!

 

Sneaking into Yaxley's office was a bold call, but it shows that Percy is willing to do something, even if he doesn't know what, and I found myself really rooting for him when he finally took some action!

 

And Aberforth! I love that he made an appearance. It feels like Percy is part of the resistance group now by corresponding with Aberforth, even if he doesn't know it. I like the way Aberforth tells Percy to just go home, and again we see that vulnerability of how much Percy is affected by the distance from his family. Sometimes he's portrayed as cold-hearted in the books, but he really is a good, kind egg! And, aw, Aberforth is kind enough to give Percy a little update on Ginny!

 

Great chapter! :)



Author's Response:

I am glad you enjoyed this chapter. I wanted to portray him being (or at least feeling) completely trapped. I suppose I could have stretched the story out and made it all more detailed, but it was always meant to be a shorter story that focuses more on the immediate lead-up to the Battle and then the aftermath. And I am glad you picked out that line about his observations of Katie, as I wanted to include references to other good people besides just Percy stuck under the evil Ministry's thumb.

 

I really enjoyed bringing Aberforth into this. He is very fun to write and a good foil for Percy, with his gruffness and brutal honesty. Aberforth is probably the sort of person who would say, "Don't try, just do it," and of course Percy is likely to see complications where there aren't any to begin with (even though there clearly are here).



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