Hi, Alex. After a long time, I came back to your Alex. It is quite unexpected.
1. She seems that she will be the best friend with Harry, both know the worst part of the Death Eaters. They have similarity each other.
2. Snape's way of treating Alex is very harsh just like he treated Harry in his Potions class. My theory, he might be her genetic father is going to crumble down. Or am I right? If he finds out the truth, will he change his attitude in the future?
The episode, walkman radio divination sounds interesting. If the theory is right, the first chapter's incident coincided with the title of music she heard... so spooky. What the centaur professor told Alex sounds mysterious.
So many frustrated things happened around Alex. I feel for her.
At least, she could feel proud of her wolf form in McGonagall's class, in spite of her cheating. I don't know if it will turn lucky or not for Alex. Hermione's warning doesn't threaten Alex? Maybe not. She is looking forward to meeting them...oh wait, the werewolves are dangerous. They are not the wolves.
I haven't had the pleasure of exploring your author's page yet but I'm very happy to be changing that with this holiday gifting event!
So the name of the story is so interesting, it creates an strong image in my mind of how this story is going to be. I think lots of action/mystery/adventure and some darkness so I'm looking forward to find out if it's going to be as vivid and interesting as the title suggests (I'm sure it will be more so!).
Your imagery in this whole chapter is stunning, I love the first section which is so intense and emotional but cuts away to something very normal, breaks up the intensity of the scene but it's so attention grabbing. I thought the contrast worked really nicely. I have a ton of questions after this chapter which is such a good thing! I just wonder how the information we are given in this chapter are going to shape future chapters.
I think we get to know a lot about your OC, Alex. I've been clever how you've done it though as you've not information dump any of it. It's all shown the way she narrators the piece, she seems very logical, practical and strong. She has a good attention to details, it is all done through actions and her way of seeing things. She is quite an impressive character considering she is only sixteen. She knows how to look after herself considering the scene with blind lady and the dog. I thought that her thought process was good and very clear. She has a good developed personality already so it's really great to see that type of things in the first chapter. It'll be interesting to see how you've flesh her out more in future chapters.
Just an interesting and promising start to this story!
Poor Alex. Snape doesn't really work to become a more likeable character, does he? I'm sorry that Alex feels so sad on the beginning of her stay at Hogwarts. After all that happened with her mom and AMA, she didn't deserve this. Still I like how you portrayed her strength in trying to keep it together until she was alone. Shows that she's strong enough to take it, even if it's bad enough that she's going through it, most of all alone.
I forgot to mention this in my last review, but why does Snape keep trying to read her mind? Is it just natural curiosity or does he already suspect something? And Alex not letting him, where did she learn occlumency? I'm guessing she knows, since Snape keeps trying and not succeding.
Aaand never mind, her stepfather taught her. But why? Was there a hidden purpose behind it or was it just something else he taught her from his beliefs and customs? I hope we'll learn more about it.
Ooh and I'm so down to see if Snape is tricked by Alex and what she concoted! Alex is kind of incredible, ins't she? So much talent...
I was wandering when Alex and Draco would meet, and it went as expected. I love Draco, he's one of my favorite characters, but damn those first years of his... I'm guessing he and Alex will butt heads often.
I look forward to see how Tonks will arrange her own version of the Disguise Dance and the Duelling Match. Both of those events sound pretty interesting, it would probably lift Alex's spirits and bring more drama to the story.
Great chapter, Alexis. Can't wait to continue reading this ^^
Poor Alex. AMA and Hogwarts couldn't be more different. They're so contrasting, it's only normal that she'd miss her home. But it's good that she's seeing this as a new beginning.
I'm guessing the pictures of animals in the journals were, and are, foreshadowing. As well as the songs again, and Alex's feeling about Snape. Nice touch.
And I can totally relate to Alex when she says she isn't looking forward to Potions. I had a teacher I hated, and who in turn hated pretty much every student, and that made me load a subject I was absolutely fascinated with. I still like it, but having a bad teacher really can change things up. Let's see how Alex will do.
I would have never guessed that Alex wouldn't get along, at least for now, with Hermione. Or at least, it just hadn't crossed my mind because it makes a little sense, given who Alex is and what her personality is like. I'm really enjoying reading Hermione telling someone else off, for a change lol
I wonder who the wolf in the forest is. If it's real, then what does it mean? Or might it be an omen? Hmm...
Oh and how will her talk with Harry go? Looking forward to finding out.
I'm really enjoying the story so far, Alexis! Can't wait to continue it.
Gotta say I can't agree with Alex here. No matter how cold it could get, I'd do anything to be able to fly on a broom lol I might complain afterwards, sure, but still…
Eish, is she really gonna be sorted all by her lonesome in front of the entire school? :0 anyway her confidence is incredible, and her preparation to enter the Great Hall reveals her strong character, I liked it.
Oh! Four students from AMA at Hogwarts? I thought it was just gonna be Alex.
And the imagery of Alex's sorting is beautiful. The way you describe the hat making its choice is really visual, great work there. And Alex is a Gryffindor, of course, although I can see why the hat would be torn between Gryffindor and Slytherin.
Her resignation in having to drink tea instead of coffee was so funny. These little contrasts between the US/UK and AMA/Hogwarts will give Alex plenty of headaches, I'm sure!
And Alex did not call McGonagall a Sourpuss! Would the twins even dare? She's gonna get in trouble with McGonagall later on, isn't she? xD the Vulture though, fits quite nicely.
I wonder if Snape was trying to somehow read Alex when he passed her by? And also if what Dumbledore said about the Yunwi Tsunsdi and their ability to see through a Polyjuice potion will somehow appear later on the plot, hmm… And does Annette's mysterious death plays into the plot as well or was it just a mention?
Aaaaand Alex as made a fool of herself in front of McGonagall, I knew it! Poor Alex tho, wouldn't want to be her.
I cannot wait to see if she'll be accepted in Transfigurations, and if so, why? Does McGonagall know that Alex tried to trick her?
What a lovely read. Hope you grab a new slot soon ^^
So you would really trust a twig to keep you aloft? Sorry, but Alex would call you crazy! lol
I have to point out that the confidence Alex was projecting was more of a bluff. She doesn't like showing vulnerability. Of course that doesn't come close to how she hates the idea of the Hat getting into her head.
As for why the Hat was torn between Gryffindor and Slytherin, Alex's actions has shown key traits of both: ambition, cleverness, courage and daring. So it's not surprising when the Hat ends up offering her a choice.
Either way, poor Alex will have a lot to adjust to at Hogwarts. It's worlds apart from how AMA operated, from classes to food to even the castle itself. Yet this is where she would have gone to school had her mom raised her in England.
And yes, she just did call McGonagall a Sourpuss ... in her mind. Alex isn't crazy enough to say that out loud quite yet. She does dare to try and pass off her wolf transformation for being an Animagus. Gotta hand it to her: she's bold and ambitious. That combination will get her into so much trouble before it's all over. Just wait till you read the next chapter. It's probably one of my favorites.
Anyways, I'm off to nab a slot of yours!
Hey Alexis. I'm back for your requested review!
It's a little heartbreaking to me, yet so so easy to relate to, that Alexis wakes up and has that brief moment in which she doesn't quite remember what happened in the last few hours. It's kind of a bliss in disguise before the veil is lifted.
I liked that there doesn't seem to be any hesitation between the Order and Alexis. They've accepted her, extended safety and given her wand back without a second thought. Gave me all the feels *-*
I laughed out loud when Alexis said that American trench coats were so much better because they had more pockets xD I feel you, trust me
Tonks! 1) It was a great moment when Tonks and Alex correct Sirius at the same time, and the dynamics between the three felt really familiar. 2) She's the DADA professor? Whatever happened to Umbridge?! (Please tell me she's met a horrendous death lmao)
Honestly though, it has to be a little overwhelming for Alexis to meet more family so suddenly, when she hasn't had anyone for a while now, and I hope they won't meet the same endings they did in the books.... *I'm watching you*
It's so funny to me thinking that Hogwarts is safe at all when everything bad that happens happens there lol but regardless yay, Alex is going to Hogwarts! I can't wait to find out what House she'll be sorted into and who she'll became friends with.
I like how, despite everything that is changing and happening around her, Alex is career-driven. No matter how different yesterday's beginning was and all the hopes she had for her year at AMA from how things will likely be at Hogwarts, she's still focused on her goal.
I look forward to find out what info Aurora had for Order and how things will go from here.
Great chapter =)
Heya! Glad to see you're still hanging in there with this story. Have I mentioned it's my baby?
Anyways, yeah, I'm know what that moment feels like when you wake up after something terrible and you can't quite remember it. It's like your mind is shielding you from it and then when it hits, it's like a tsunami. Ugh!
Yes, the Order has accepted Alex. They probably have seen the reports about AMA's destruction, so her story does match up and all. And yes, pockets are a real need! My daughter and I often lament about the lack of proper pockets in clothing like dresses or skirts.
Now onto to Tonks. Why not make her a professor? She's had Auror training, has a unique ability and is young enough to relate to the kids at Hogwarts. So no Umbridge ... at least not for now. Our favorite pink-hued Ministry worker hasn't died a horrendous death, so be on the lookout for her.
The part where Sirius questions the safety of Hogwarts was my way of pointing out how many bad things happen there. I mean seriously, they had a Death Eater there all year and no one suspected it! lol
As far as Alex goes, she might have been thrown for a serious loop by the recent events, but you gotta hand it to the girl - she's ambitious and determined. Interesting traits, yes?
Thanks for the kind words. Can't wait to see what you think of the next chapter.
And we're back to the beginning of the story!
It's so sad that Alexis had to leave so many things behind. She's basically gonna have to start from scratch, isn't she? And even worse that she'll be in unfamiliar territory. It's also bittersweet that while her mother left her that note, it ends the way it does.
I find the double birth certificate rather intriguing because it does seem that her mother has been trying to protect Alex's identity for a while. And even though Dumbledore almost looks all-knowing here, seeing through the lie, perhaps it's because he's in on what's going on. It sure sounds like him lol "Perhaps the Headmaster of Hogwarts could help solve those enigmas" - I'm gonna say though luck, Alex. I have a feeling Dumbledore will only provide more questions…
It is the Order, then. I'm glad! I really wanna find out if the events of the 5th HP book will more or less happen here, how Alex will relate to the Order and the Golden Trio, and how what she's running away from will tie with the Order's business and the HP plot. It does seem that there's a lot the Order doesn't know/hasn't had the time to find out about Aurora and her predicament though.
And dammit, I kinda hate that Alex just met Sirius and that he… I hope what I'm thinking will happen won't :s at least now that she knows that she has more family, maybe it'll lead to Alex finding out who her father is.
I find it interesting that Aurora left Alexis her Tarot cards. Was it only for sentimental value? Is she aware if/that Alexis knows how to use them? Do they have another meaning? We'll see. Also, I wonder if it really is true that Aurora rejected Voldemort, and if so why and what has she been doing all this time. Hiding away? And what was the incident she mentioned? And the Relic? Can't wait to find out.
"- the scent of an old forest - the taste of hot, fresh blood -" Nice foreshadowing there with the bracelet. Does her wolf know of Lupin's? And is that why she feels like she can trust him?
I also look forward to finding out who the other someone Alex's mother was looking to protect other than her daughter is, because I found it curious that Sirius wouldn't specifically say it was supposed to be Aurora and someone else, but rather two people. So herself or someone else we don't know about?
I like that, at least for now, Alex omitted info from them. It makes for (un)necessary drama later that I'm all for xD
I look forward to finding out what Alex's role in the HP plot will be, and how that plot will tie with Alex's own story. Can't wait to continue this!
Favourite quote: "The letter stopped mid-sentence, as abruptly as her mother had been snatched away from her. There was no signature, certainly no happy ending. In Alex's eyes, even the scratched out paragraph took on a reflection of her relationship with her mother: messy, chaotic, a blotch on what should have been normal." - Four chapters in and in all of them you have a description that stands out from all the others. It's incredible, I love this ❤
Poor Alex, she's lost quite a bit. Her mom, her stuff, her school and even her safety. But she's going to gain a lot, too, starting with the knowledge she's not American - not really. That double birth certificate not only reveals she's essentially a British citizen, but her mom wanted to hide Alex. She even hid the Hogwarts acceptance letter. There's a lot going on here.
Discovering she has family is something important for Alex. For a long time, she thought she was alone. Finding out she has relatives in England makes things a little better. Sirius and Alex have a lot in common despite only having just met. As for her father, as in will she discover who he is? Yeah, eventually, just not now. All things in good time. Right now she's got other things to content with.
And I told you those tarot cards will keep popping up! lol
As for Aurora and Voldemort ... Remember that Alex's story runs concurrent with the events of Order of the Phoenix. This means Voldemort has just returned, Cedric just died and the Dark Mark has been getting darker on those gifted with it. Aurora bore that mark. If she had rejected Voldemort as she stated in her letters, she must have watched in horror as that mark, which had once faded, started turning dark again.
The bit that Alex noticed with Lupin - that's actually a hint of another story in the Child of the Hunt ‘verse called Chasing Fireflies. There's not need to read it, just know that it refers to a brief passage in which Remus is running around as a wolf.
Now Sirius saying Aurora wanted protection for herself and another, that other person was Alex. Aurora was trying to get protection for the both of them. And those little things Alex omitted when talking to Sirius, can you blame her? Don't we all sometimes leave out little bits that might put us in a bad light?
Can I just say that now after praising my descriptions for four chapters, that I'm worried about disappointing you? No seriously. You have me scanning over my chapters now. :P
I really hope we'll delve a little bit more into Alexis' past with her mother, and both what made her mother stay away from Alex for all these years and why she became an addict. And it's only normal for Alexis to feel a little torn after witnessing her mother's death exactly because of it. On the one hand her mother didn't raise her or saw her grow up and become who she is, not to mention showing up at times to demand things and mistreat her (which I'm guessing/hoping is directly related to her drug abuse), but obviously she cared for Alexis enough to have a plan should something happen to them.
Are we talking about The Order? If so, how did Alexis' mother arrange for them to protect her daughter? Why would she do it and why would they accept it? Is it because she's the key to something? I'm intrigued!
One of the things I'm really enjoying is not only finding out new things about Alex, but also that she seems to be a girl of many different interests and talents. It makes her a more compelling and fleshed-out character, and so more believable and relatable, which is something I connect with. Plus, it seems as though she's very knowledgeable despite her young age, so it'll be fun to see how she'll use it to her advantage as the story goes.
Another thing I'm curious about is how Alexis will deal with her mother's death. Should she have died in any other way, it would already have been interesting given their history, but with such a traumatic death and, to top it off, right in front of Alexis' eyes, it will sure impact how the story goes.
And oh, Bella! She's the kind of chaotic evil I love to read about *-* I know she's an awful character, but Bellatrix has always fascinated me. It's not exactly clear whether she's the one killing Anne, but if she is I wonder what Alexis will do about it in time.
Even though I don't know much about it (yet, I do want to learn), I loved the foreshadowing of the tarot cards, and I'm also guessing that all the Celtic elements are connected to both their ancestry and what's to come. Also, the nightmares about snakes. I'm looking forward to know more about how it'll connect with the plot.
Last but not least, I don't think I've mentioned this in my reviews to the other chapters, but I'm suspicious of Professor Jordan for some reason. I can't wait to see if I'm wrong or right about it ;P
I'm loving the story so far!
Favourite quote: "The night was black without the moon, and the air was thick and still. A miasma of smoke and shadows wound through the trees and bushes like a dark shroud. The only other sources of light were the emerald skull overhead and the flames devouring the campus." - I just really love your descriptions, ok?
Hey, glad you came back!
Welcome to your introduction to Alex's mom, and their complex relationship. Things are messy between them - always has been and with her mom's death, it never really gets resolved. I can promise that at some point, Alex will learn why her mom became an addict (there was a compelling reason), but it won't be any time soon. The mistreatment was drug related.
But yes, we are talking about the Order! This opens a whole can of worms, so to speak.
You're right that Alex is a girl with a bunch of different interests. Part of this stems from the fact her mom was a witch and her step-dad a Native American Muggle. She's been exposed to both worlds. After her step-father's death, though, she was made a ward of the school. So when other students went home for the holidays and summer, she remained on campus ... with a big library on hand and not much supervision.
And you picked up on the tarot cards! Not many readers attach any significance to them. Are they important ... well, yes, but not right now. They will keep appearing, though.
I am surprised you're suspicious of Professor Jordan - why? He makes a brief appearance next chapter. Hold off on your judgement till then, ok?
Thanks for the lovely review and I'm thrilled you like my descriptions!
I really like how you jumped right to the day before. It already answered some of my questions, albeit leaving me with a few more too ;P
One of the things that has grabbed my attention is that the story is set (at least now, in the beginning) in the US. The lack of information we still have about Non-British wizardry is still staggering, but gives you as an author the independence to create your own setting and rules. I rather like AMA how you've written it (but particularly how you've come up with fraternities/sororities and the staff retreat. The possibilities there are endless!). i really enjoyed as well the Native-American inclusivity, both in Alex's own backstory as well as with the Yunwi Usdi. The more detailed the story, the more appealing and captivating it is.
The more I learn about Alex, the more she intrigues. I love that she rides a motorcicle, and the fact that she's an emancipated minor has me wondering how and why. I'm also really eager to find out more about her parentage and her name(s), has it seems to be central to the story. Another thing I liked was the use of the mind palace technique, as I'm learning it myself. I already thought Alex resourceful; now this and how she aspires to become a Hunter… The more i find out about her the more I'm compelled to learn even more.
Also, I'm guessing that Alex tuning her walkman to end up getting those songs is foreshadowing, for sure. Nice touch (let me tell you that I love, love foreshadowing) <3
All in all, I'm really curious to see how the events of this second chapter and whatever comes next will tie with the events of the first chapter, knowing that everything happened in the span of two days and how much it changed and will change Alex's life and who she is and wants to be. I also wanna know more about this Professor Jordan fella and how he'll tie into the plot.
On another note, can I just say i really appreciate your end notes? Not every author takes the time to leave those little commentaries on things they've written, and at least to me they make a difference. They make the story better and I learn things I didn't know so it's a win-win.
Favourite quote: "It was twilight, her favorite time of day. Neither fully day nor truly night, it held a mystical potential that made her blood sing. A handful of fireflies danced above the school grounds like earthbound stars mimicking those just starting to sparkle in the heavens above." Again, the description is gorgeous.
You have a way with words, Alexis. Can't wait to get back to this story ^^
Hey, welcome back!
This chapter starts off relatively slowly in comparison to the prologue and gives a proper introduction to Alex and some aspects of her current wizarding school. When I originally started writing CotH, JKR hadn't released Deathly Hallows yet, much less given us information on Ilvermorny or MACUSA. So I had the freedom to create one that suited CotH. Since the American school system is quite different than its British counterpart, why not have that reflective in the magical school systems? So yes, AMA is unique - it has fraternities, sororities, and staff retreats. There are no house elves, no Houses, no House Cup, no Quidditch.
Remember that independent streak I mentioned previously? The motorcycle, summer job and filing to become an emancipated minor is all part of that streak. Even her insistence of using her step-father's name instead of her birth surname reflects this. Plus, well, she can be stubborn.
As for the mind palace, there's a reason for that, although it won't become apparent until later. And on the note of ‘later', I should probably address foreshadowing. Plainly put, I love foreshadowing. I love planting seeds in a story, some of which bloom immediately, but many lay dormant until later. The songs are part of that. Typically they're clues to more immediate things, although one or two are hints of things to come. Even the quote you selected about twilight - there was a reason for that specific time of day and not noon or midnight. So if I start to sound repetitive when I say ‘not until much later' ... you'll have to forgive me. :P
Lastly, the endnotes. To be honest, those originally off as two different types of notes when I first started writing fanfiction: the ones for myself that include songs I listened to or links to sites where I found interesting information; the other notes were mainly thank you's to my betas and occasionally to a specific reader. Later I decided it would be easier to just merge them and append to the end of each chapter. So endnotes are a thing for me.
I can't wait to see what you think of the next few chapters when Alex finally arrives in England and meets up with some familiar faces!
Hey, Alexis =]
First off, I'd like to start by saying that a story name like yours will have me wanting to keep on reading the story just to find out who the Child of the Hunt is. Is it Alex? Is it someone else?
This first chapter really poked at my curiosity! Alex's mother being a Death Eater is interesting enough in itself, but it seems as though she had a heart, trying to keep Alex safe. Then there's also the fact that Alex is young and now without a mother (what of her father?) and it got me wondering what her mother's death had to do with the falling of the American Magical Academy.
So far I'm enjoying Alex and how resourceful she seems to be for a teenager. I really wanna found out how that trait will serve her going forward. Plus I like that, as a witch, she favours something as Muggle as a walkman, nice ;P
I'm also rather curious about the wolf thing! Is also an Animagus or perhaps a werewolf? How will it fit into the narrative and is it a family "trait"? And is the bracelet just a token or something more?
Overall I think it is a great first chapter. It's strong and sets things in motion easily for a chapter that is rather short, so kudos to your writing for achieving that! The story has a really nice flow to it as well ^^
I really want to find out more about what happened to Alex's mother, why Alex is now being chased and what will happen when/if she gets to England.
Favourite quote: "The woman collapsed in a boneless heap to the ground silently, long ebony hair covering her aristocratic features. A slender wand made of elm rolled from her lifeless hand. Overhead a smoky green skull cast an eerie glow across the sky, bathing the black tattoo on her pale and still forearm." The description is just stunning *-*
Thanks for accepting my request to read/review this story. I started writing it back in 2005/2006-ish, abandoned it, and years later was drawn back. Now I'm re-writing, hopefully improving it, and of course, plan on finishing it this time!
So, the title. Yes, Alex is being hunted, so it could apply that way. There's another manner in which the title fits the story but it won't be revealed until much, much later.
Onto Alex, though. She was born to a witch, but raised with a Muggle step-father. That's why she's familiar with a non-magical device like a walkman or classic rock songs. You'll find not only is she resourceful, but Alex has an independent streak that's a mile wide. As for her ability to change into a wolf, that's explored in the next few chapters.
I'm glad you want to find out more about Alex's story. My goal with this chapter was exactly that - to whet the appetite by dropping the reader into the action.
Thanks for the lovely review!
This is such an interesting story! Looking forward to more.
Hi there! It's been a while since I wrote anything CotH-related. Glad you enjoyed it! I hope to start working on the next chapter in a few days. Thanks for stopping by!
Hello Alex. If you're reading this then you have reached your final test. Before you stand your past and future. With Bill Weasley and Hermione Granger you can continue your evolution and your too-long-dormant quest for answers about the events at AMA. Or you can revert to memories - memories of a meeting so long passed you are unable to remember.
You spent much of this portion of your tale analyzing your own actions and the reasons behind your emotions and mistakes. But what do you see when you look into the mirror? I see someone confused yet encouraged, but mostly just floating about her "life" in a new land. So I ask you: are you going to continue on directionless or are you going to do something about it?
Throughout your story we have seen your talent for divination - prophetic music, the invisible tug that accompanies your realizations about the true character of those around you. Can you divine the right path for your story?
Listen carefully if you will. Living out your story, laden with excellent descriptions and characterizations is only the beginning. There are paths forward all around you, but if you are wise, you will look to the relationships with the greatest value. What are those relationships? Which is the right path? That is your final test.
Stagnation or progress, Alex? Make your choice.
Welcome back for our final round of the day. It is a wide open competition and the category for our last answer of the round will be - Authors of AUs. For those who are not aware, that's Alternate Universes. And now, the clue.
These two characters shared an uncharacteristically close moment while under the influence of an aerosolized intoxicant.
Doo dee doo doo-doo-doo dee doo doo dee doo dee doo doo-doo-doo-doo-doo doo dee doo doo-doo-doo-dee doo doo doo-doo doo dee doo.
And we only had one correct answer this evening: Who are Alex Talon and Severus Snape? It seems that Child of the Hunt has been the feature story this evening.
As a final comment I will share with you what I recall of the last of it that I read, a fascinating view of both Alex and Snape and indeed, the inspiration for this very question. There's an obvious tension there, one unfortunately broken by the collapse of the illusion created by the famous masquerade. One could imagine who Alex's modified appearance evoked, but what of her side of things? Only time will tell the true meaning of this interaction.
It also showcased still more of the lighter side of the author's writing which stood as a sharp and positive the intensity of the exchange between the two characters we just mentioned. Particularly enjoyable is the roommate dynamic, which we have not seen much of actually inside the dorm room. Her we get it and it's incredibly refreshing to see Alex and Jeannie band together, especially in light of the negative interactions involving other girls through the remainder of the chapter.
And now, I bid you goodnight!
Another night means another episode and we're back now with our contestants. We have a whole new slate this time so we'd like to start off with introductions.
Our first contestant is Alex, an American transplant to the United Kingdom. A rather obscure town far to the North and I apologize Alex, I think our producers forgot to get the name. In any event, she tells us she's excited to be here. It's a bit of an escape from some quite arduous schooling to be on our prodigies episode, but there's been trouble in paradise as well.
Hmm. Always one of the most challenging aspects learning to adjust to roommates. I can personally attest that eschewing sports for studies is bound to create difficulty. I'm sure our audience is quite surprised.
Of course the good thing with multiple roommates is that there's always the opportunity to still find that classic friendship and common ground. Best of luck to you with the test and the ball. It sounds like a challenging week to cap off after travelling all the way here to compete with us.
But you are a prodigy Alex and it's clear you wouldn't have it any other way.
Hello, I'm your host, Alex Trebek, welcoming you to a new episode of America's favorite game show. Today we have a themed episode - Revisionist History. These are things that have been added or altered from tales of our past and it will be up to you to point them out. Our categories today are: Pitiful Professors, Dangerous Divinations, and Sing-a-Long Songs.
Walter, our defending champion, play begins with you. Absolutely. Pitiful Professors for $100. The answer on offer: Tasked with schooling students and teachers alike at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, this dud made a sharp entrance, but rough exit from the dual roles with which she was entrusted.
Walter. Who is Dolores Umbridge? You've got it.
Interestingly, it was not the only time she was severed from at least one role. A story our more avid fans may be familiar with, Child of the Hunt, limited her to the role of High Inquisitor, installing fan favorite Nymphadora Tonks as professor in her place - the youngest in the role - a change that allowed both the newly-minted professor and the tale's protagonist, Alex, to flourish both together and in their own right.
So it stays with you, Walter. Sing-a-Long Songs for $300. A category change. Interesting. A worldwide Hot 100 hit, this was another song in the tradition of suggestive schoolhouse relationships.
Andrew. Quick on the button I see. Ahh no. Don't be bashful. What is Hot for Teacher by Van Halen? Well, we don't give out extra credit here, but you've got the song AND the artist.
Another curious connection. While we wondered just who this song might be alluding to, that main character in Child of the Hunt also listened to this song, leaving readers to wonder just who she may have been thinking about.
Perhaps it should not be surprising that we would see allusions to such a strong writer. Excellent description and quality characterization in Alexis Black's work. If you're out there Alexis - bravo.
Nog ah noo floo dagh go!
-cue the translator droid-
I thought I had cured myself of my habit of starting without this thing, but apparently not. What I said was "finally more students from AMA!" This really is one thing I felt had been a long time coming in the story. Though the explanation absolutely makes sense, I would've thought that most would've already made the transition to the schools accepting them by now so it was an interesting open question.
With Xander involved I'm also wondering if this is going to give more rise to unexpected Gryffindor-Slytherin cooperation. Though he hides it behind reserve and what I'm going to contend is affected disdain, McCready seems to respect Alex after the events of the dungeons and I can see them coolly collaborating if circumstances require going forward. I assume nothing of course, but I think that would be an interesting thing to see.
This chapter was also a bit more light-hearted and I think that was refreshing after the intensity of the previous one. It allowed us to take a breather and enjoy your characterizations and dialogue while still advancing the ball with the introduction of the new AMA transfers so kudos on that.
Sadly, I must take my leave, but perhaps I will be able to return to your story eventually.
-cue the translator droid-
This all began interesting, but benign! Alex shadowing the twins and a bit of water. But my oh my what unfolded next. Like Dumbledore I was pleased to see some real house unity displayed in the rescue. Unfortunately I think there are too few stories that display that and certainly too few that don't confine it to two houses and most often two specific pairings of houses.
The handling of events as they unfolded within the Slytherin common room was very well done also. You absolutely captured the urgency of the situation and the grave consequences that had already been incurred when Alex entered, but at the same time you were able to infuse the account with clear descriptions of particular things. It was well-balanced with the mental aspect as well, in that she didn't notice everything with precision, but important things.
I'm most interested to see if McGonagall's outrage is about just the pranks or if she has, perhaps, discovered Alex's bracelet and its abilities - the fraud she used to get into the higher level class. If it's the latter...ruh roh Alex.
Wah bo nah doh.
-cue the translator droid-
I am back. I hope you have not missed me, but unfortunately there was some confusion at an intergalactic checkpoint. Hunt is so close to a much more sinister surname after all.
In any event, I am pleased to have returned and to find Alex not shorn of her spunk. The Slytherin note is incredibly disgusting and certainly deserved retribution. I will say that I found some of the explanation of how she carried it all out with the spellwork inside the common room to be a bit...extra-adept. Though she's unquestionably talented based on her portrayal, she's also admitted to her own limitations so I'm not sure how well that squares with inventing spells and magicking people into a semi-comatose slumber. Most of her other unique abilities center on her different upbringing and cultural experience and it seems to me safest to stick to those. The apparent ease of breaking into other CRs also seemed to strain credulity a bit.
That being said, I still really love the quality of the writing. The detailed descriptions of what Alex does, how she moves, the things she prepares, and attention to seeming minutiae like the bit of acromantula web that then folds in cleverly to dialogue is really well done. I'm also increasingly digging the characterization as she settles in a bit more. We see some of the confidence of the girl on the motorcycle roaring back and it's a positive influence on the story.
Finally, I'm so glad that you haven't made her fast friends with Harry, Hermione, and Ron. That's always been my major beef with Hogwarts Era AUs so it's really really refreshing you avoided it even after they started to understand each other better.
See you in the next chapter!
Hello Alex and welcome to your rebirth. Though you have not outgrown your feud with your professor it seems that fate has brought you some resolution to the conflict between you and your contemporaries. Your penchant for mischief appears to have won you the respect of your new school’s resident pranksters and the encounter with Sirius Black in the Gryffindor common room has allowed you the opportunity to finally shed light on who you are and why you’re here.
While your relationships have been to thaw with those around you, take care that the demons of your darker nature do not lure you into a situation you cannot control. The Forbidden Forest is no place for students – even in your animal form.
By the end however, your commitment to rehabilitating the connection between those who were closest to you in the beginning bore fruit, the healing of Jeannie’s bruises acting as a strong metaphor for the healing of your friendship while also showcasing even further your talent for potions which continues to go underappreciated.
Though you have progressed well since my last message, beware. Ahead lies your final test.
Hello Alex. It seems that my last lesson has not yet taken. Though you seem to have prevailed in this exchange, repelling the mental attacks against you, obtaining a measure of revenge on Professor Snape and humiliating your dangerous relative Draco in your first interaction, such victories often come at a price. Will you be prepared for the next volley?
For now you appear to have found some measure of solace in a conversation with a kindred spirit. As Professor Tonks has looked to you for guidance on rendering her teaching more…energetic…you would do well to witness her example and allow your rebellion to fuel positive pursuits rather than derail your desired career. For your own sake you will have to learn to accept the guidance of others, along with her decidedly more gentle rebukes.
Pay attention to the developments around you, Alex. Your next move is critical.
Rise and shine, Alex. For your entire life you have identified as American, unwittingly abandoning your true heritage. Though you have escaped certain death into an uncertain future based on the generosity of others, you refuse to acclimate, denying those at Hogwarts the same respect you afforded your friends and instructors at AMA.
Could you put aside your name-calling and arrogance for the good of your adopted house and your own personal development? Tonight, you showed me. You created unnecessary strife with your younger housemates by flouting the custom of not using electronics on school grounds. You destroyed their hard work by continuing to fight a losing battle with the man you call the Vulture.
Though you demonstrate a remarkable talent for the subject you’ve been punished by lower placement in, your recklessness and pride have served only to deter your ultimate goal – promotion to the level that you believe you deserve.
Perhaps your journal can help you reflect on this journey and confront the coming days with a more…constructive…zeal. Only time will tell.
Doo dee doo doo-doo-doo dee doo. Doo dee doo dee doo, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo. Doo dee doo doo-doo-doo dee doo. Doo dee doo doo doo dee doo.
Our contestants were challenged by the questions this chapter raised today - just as Alex was challenged in this chapter. Here we see her established not as a sudden, easily-welcomed addition to Hogwarts' halls - a mistake made by many - but as someone who is very much an outsider. I think you went to great pains to cultivate that reality and it played very well, from her delayed start to her lack of uniform to her unique sorting, Alex is very much isolated at the moment.
If there's one thing I didn't like, it was the discrepancy in classes. While I think it's entirely appropriate that Alex's marks would be disregarded when the courses don't even exist at Hogwarts, but as written it creates a tension for the reader with what's implied. Are Americans inferior (or viewed that way) or are the British simply snobby folks who misunderstand and mislabel her (aside from her sorting).
The conversation with Dumbledore ran a touch long for me, but what I really relished was the difference in the way he interacts with her and the unflinching manner of McGonagall. Dumbeldore and Alex present a sharp contrast to how he deals with Harry, and quite deliberately I think. She has her questions answered (almost in full), and he is left twisting in the wind. McGonagall is actually particularly critical of her - which I don't find unreasonable for her character - but I hope she becomes more welcoming and demonstrates her willingness to help Alex integrate fully.
Thank you for watching! Good night!
Today we combine some new faces with some old faces as our reigning champion, Alex, takes on Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, and Sirius Black in the cold environs of Grimmauld Place.
It's pleasing to see that the integration does not yet involve any of the Weasleys or the so-called "Golden Trio". This allows us to discover more about a character's new situation than rushing to unite the protagonist with her new normal. Boop boop. We would have accepted either "what is delayed or expository integration?"
The most important aspect noted here was obviously how Alex truly fits in as a character in England. Though we're aware of her background from previous chapters, here it is made explicit how she fits into the families that feature prominently in the First and Second Wizarding Wars.
Also intriguing is the wolf-on-wolf interaction between Alex and Lupin. I enjoy the intrigue for now, but sincerely hope it will be tied up neatly in some way going forward.
We'll be back after a commercial break with: Final Jeopardy.
Hello and welcome to another round of Child of the Hunt. Today's categories are: Befuddling Backgrounds, Dances with Dialogue, and Meet. Not Cutes.
The first category highlights Alex's break with thoughts of the past that advance her into the present. The mother's note is a strong element, providing critical background for our viewers and - most importantly - capturing the frantic tone of its author in an exquisitely detailed fashion. Maintaining a bit of mystery for us to explore going forward as well.
The second two categories - Dances with Dialogue and Meet. Not Cutes. push us from an Alex-centric world into the broader conflict we are all too familiar with - the Second Wizarding War. Both the botched plan for Alex's introduction and the conversations that ensue help to capture the intense fear and paranoia beginning to take hold in the Order and the very different situation culturally between the two sides of "the Pond".
Will the integration continue with Alex alone or will the inevitable meeting between our heroine and well-known canon characters strike sooner than we sthink? Join us next time!
Well...there was quite a bit in this chapter, wasn't there?
Starting at the beginning, I liked how you continued to add dimension to Alex by addressing the complexities of her family situation via the introduction of her mother and the struggle in reacting to the attack with respect to her as well.
I thought the description of the various scenes throughout the battle were also very well done. Though the language was complex at times, because the remainder is quite straightforward, I think it highlighted the scene for readers, catching attention and also showcasing your ability in that area. That said, I did think that given its comparative length within this chapter, that scene ran a bit dialogue-heavy, some of which made Alex strikingly composed, which was a bit at odds with her demeanor in the prologue - aside from the very end.
Regardless, I thought that conclusion returned to the air of panic and uncertainty that I enjoyed so much earlier and it absolutely left me yearning for the next step in our journey.
Loo nar nah kleep no.
-cue the translator droid-
Keep up the good work!