It's me again. I'm here for the Winter Wonderland, representing Team Phoenix. I'm really curious about this story. I've only read a few stories about Ariana before and I've liked them all, but I have a feeling I'll absolutely love this one. Anyway, let's just get right to the reviewing part.
I always love your stories, and this was no different. This was just gut wrenching. You could really feel Ariana's desperation to get the three boys to stop fighting. It was chaotic and you couldn't really tell what was happening, and I loved that. You just did a really good job at capturing just how confused Ariana is. And I love that you don't give us an answer as to who actually killed her, because I think that's a part of what makes this such a tragedy. It could be - and it is if I remember correctly, hinted at being - Grindelwald, but it could also be one of her own brothers. And that's just heartbreaking to think about.
I really like your characterisation of Ariana. She is I think described to be sweet and harmless most of the time, and you really got that one right. She just seems so innocent and lovely and that makes her death so much more tragic. I think when she dies she is about 13-14 years old, and it definitely felt like she was around that age. Her relationship with Aberforth was amazing to see, but I also liked that she just describes Albus as ignoring the problem and not being around. It seems like a good description of his behaviour at the time.
It was a really great story! This is probably one of the most horrible scenes from the books, and seeing it through Ariana's eyes was just heartbreaking. Great job! Thank you so much for sharing!
Thanks so much. Sorry it took so long to reply!
Even though I know your real name I still mentally call you Rhae.
Everything you write is so beautiful and flawless and honestly how did I live before you came on the scene? How can you take such a horrific bit from Harry Potter and turn it into this beautiful, gut wrenching story?
You've just written Ariana so beautifully here. She's this dynamic, tragic character trapped in this chaos and misery, but she's also so sweet an innocent and I just want to save her so desperately.
Honestly, if I were her father I'd do the exact same thing. I know it scared her a lot to see her father like that, but can anyone really blame him.
I especially loved Aberforth in all of this. He's such an overlooked character. I do feel bad for Albus though. I mean all of that responsibility all of a sudden would be suffocating.
I think the small bits we do see of Albus is also very true to character. Gellert definitely hold a lot of weight over him and you can see a lot of his underlying manipulation in this story. I feel like he truly took advantage of Albus rather than grew into the monster he was. At the same time, Albus isn't absolved of all sins.
I'm so glad I stopped by to read this! I swear you're the best and I can't wait to get back to that gorgeous Jily you have! <3
Ahh thank you so much Paula. <3 This review made my day. I feel like (especially at the time I wrote this) these poor characters never got enough attention. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and be so sweet about it all.
And Rhae is good! I'll totally answer to that! =) - R
Omg, this was so gut-wrenching. I can't with you.
I think that you captured the chaos and confusion Ariana was feeling so, so well. The idea that she saw her father go after the boys and that, moreover, her father scared her when he did so, is just perfect. She was in such a vulnerable state at the time that it makes sense that any loud sudden noises would make her feel threatened, and your depiction of her reaction to unpredictability in men - both then and in response to her brothers and Grindelwald dueling - makes a heartbreaking but very natural kind of sense.
I love the ambiguous note you left this on, too, because there are really interesting implications no matter whose blue eyes they were. Aberforth is obviously the most likely person, given their relationship, but I can also very easily see Albus getting to her first. Watching the life leave his sister's eyes would definitely be a haunting experience, and I can also see it contributing to friction between the two brothers.
Amazing job. <3 I loved this.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review (and even tweak the banner with this penname). She is such a tragic character that I'm glad you felt like I did her justice. I feel like the ambiguity of what happened then, who killed her, how much she knew, and how much they knew about who did what is such a big part of the tragedy of her death that it didn't feel right to definitively state who killed her or who she saw in her last moments. Thank you again for being so sweet.
Well done. I read the excerpt on Pottermore the other day, and I was surprised and pleased Rowling left this open-ended. Well, it wasn't as open-ended, which was nice because she leaned towards Grindelwald without coming out and saying it. Keeping in mind that this was a seven year old girl - granted, a seven year old girl froma another generation - but a seven year old girl This - or maybe she was six - nonetheless. I like the connection with Aberforth. This was well done. The spacing as far as formatting is a little off.
Thanks for the review! It's odd that the spacing was off for you, I just checked and it looks normal to me. Are you referring to being 6 at the time of the attack or her death? She was around 14 when she died, which is why I wrote her like I did.