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Reviews For Not My Own

Name: starbuck (Signed) · Date: 04 Mar 2019 03:42 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Switch

hey, i'm here for EvS, team emerald!

 

with remus being so self sacrificing in the books, i can absolutely see him taking on the role of the spy in the order. he already feels guilty for being a werewolf, so i can imagine it wouldn’t have taken dumbledore a lot of convincing to get remus to agree to the plan – he would feel like it was his way of giving back to the order, of doing his duty.

 

i loved the way you wrote the meeting with dumbledore, especially the beginning, how they say the stuff only the two of them would know – it feels so natural, and it also reminds me of remus and harry.

 

the whole idea of james and remus switching bodies is incredibly original – how did you even come up with it? it’s something i would’ve never imagined…but it’s so cool! james is probably going to feel so so guilty after lily&remus’ murder…and him having to stay away from harry? how is he going to take that?!!

 

what an awesome first chapter! you really draw the reader in ^_^

 

kris



Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 13 Jan 2019 03:39 PM · [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Plan

Someone has suggested this to fit one of our Mangerie Themes and I must admit I’m intrigued. It’s a bit like the movie, Freaky Friday, although no one would find this situation funny.


Could anyone really act like another person even if the had known them for years? I have to give them both credit. They are really thinking it through. How would this person act? Etc. even if it’s against their nature. I was honestly they didn’t give more notice, so each could prepare, both psychologically and think of everything the other needed to know.  

 

You’ve set them with with great problems to deal with (Rhea’s proposal and Lily’s anger.) Then Sirius walks in the door with Peter and a my stomach dropped. Is it really that close to Halloween? Is it time to make the fatal decision? Is it actually Remus that makes the fateful decision that kills them? Oh, the guilt of a great cliff hanger.



Author's Response:

Thank you for the review.  It is a little like Freaky Friday but not as hurmorus.  I didn't even think of the movie when I started this tale but now I'm inclined to think a verson of that movie set to the HP world could be fun of course that version would be filled with crazy silly shenanigans. 

 

I will say I think the reason that this switch could work is becuase it was only supposed to be temporary, and James was not going out much and Remus was with the werewolves.  Mood swings happen when it comes to wolves so minor discrepancies are easy to cover.  Additioanlly I didn't leave time for the plan to sit as that gives it time to be revealed to others and secerecy is paramount and I also fell like if the idea was left to percolate for any amount of time someone would think twice and back out.  Namely Remus would have backed out of it given time to think and James is truly a rash sort and when he gets an idea he jumps at is with narry a second thought. 

 

Of course, the idea of 'the best laid plans' comes into play here and indeed the characters were placed into a very sticky perdicament right away.  I tend to not waste time or pull punches, when it comes to everything that happens.  Also Remus agrees to go with Sirius' plan becuase that is what James would have done.  Save for the switch this story is pretty dead on with canon.  I figure the fun here is seeing it through the eyes of James rather than Remus.



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 31 Dec 2018 05:22 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Start

Hi! I'm here (last minute, of course...) for your wishlist, dear! Happy holidays!

I'm always happy to have an excuse to get back to this story! I love it so much!

Poor James, insomnia is the worst... when you are exhausted but your mind just won't shut down... I hate that feeling... and then, that nightmare! Not only it was so terribly scary, but it made me once again so sad about the way James sees Sirius... I know he will find out the truth soon, but I kind of want him to know right now... :(

Oh, btw, I loved the conversation with Professor McGonagall, I love how supportive she is of Remus. And it is totally my headcanon too that Remus always wanted to be a teacher and that he would confess it to her during his orientation meeting, so I love that you mentioned this!

All the feelings James has about having to teach Harry soon... it's cruel that he can't reveal himself to him. But he's getting the chance to know him, at least? I guess? I can't wait to get to the Boggart chapter!

And Buckbeak's incident... I'm curious to see if James is actually going to take his little revenge on Malfoy, I'd love to see it... :P (I'm a bad person, sorry... but Draco is truly horrible in PoA, he deserves a lesson. Poor Hagrid...)

This was a great chapter! I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but you have a lovely writing style. You have such great pacing and lovely descriptions... so good! (I will need to read your novel sometime, it's not a promise because I'm the worst reader ever, but if I do, I do promise that I'll let you know what I think, aka sing your praises forever!)

Lots of love and happy holidays again, my dear!

Chiara



Author's Response:

Chiara,

Thank you so much for this incredibly lovely review.  It was quite the surprise!  (Most people opted to gift graphics or WJ questions - not that I'm complaining in the least I loved everything I got!)  Still, I'm glad you got a chance to come back to this story.  I need to come back to it myself and finish the tale!  

Anyway, you make me blush when it comes to your remarks about my writing style and how you wish to eventually read my book.  It literally made my day to hear that.  I just cannot express how that makes me feel but it is an incredible feeling and it's something I feel like I needed to hear now more than then as I relpy to you.  So thank you!

I am glad you like the head canon I did with Remus and how Professor McGonagall is asking.  I am quite fond of her as a chracter and I can see her being a bit of the motherly sort toward Remus as he was a good student and had lost so much over the year.  Talking about it makes me want to just give her a hug even if that would surprise her to be randomly hugged.  As for the Boggarts those are some of my favorite chaptes - I had particular fun writing Draco, and don't you worry I wasn't the kindest toward him in the chapter.  He is an interesting character that I like to explore but he was something of a turd in the 3rd year and needed a few lessons taught to him!

Thank you again for such a lovely review and I look forward to hearing from you again in the furtre as you read this tale.



Name: MrsDarcy (Signed) · Date: 15 Dec 2018 01:51 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Change

 

NOOOOO! You killed Remus? I'm almost crying. I did not expect this. At all (although maybe I should have). 

 

One good thing: Harry's dad's still alive - in a way - I'm sure this will be revealed to Harry later on in the story. 

 

But. I. Can't. Even. Darn. Did not see this coming. I'm very excited to see where the story will go though, James living the rest of his days as a werewolf in another man's body. His relationship with Harry. Again, with the very original concept. 

 

As I mentioned in my first review: you're writing is excellent, it's smooth and soft like silk (lol) - I could never write like that. 

 

As a manic Remus-lover, I'm sad, but intrigued. Amazing.

 

- Beth 

 



Author's Response:

Beth!

Thank you so much for the review.  Yeah I killed Remus, it nearly killed me to do it but it was a necessary evil for this story to go the way it needs to go.  As for Harry... well it may not go as you expect.  Save for the switch between Remus and James I hold pretty cannon in this tale.  I do hope you like the read as you continue with the story though!  

Also you honor me with your compliments to my writing style.  I makes me feel warm and fuzzy becuase I always wonder about my style.  I've always wanted that voice that just pulls you in like a warm blanket, don't know if I've achieved it and honestly I don't exactly 'try' for a tone/style I just honestly tell the tell in the way that feels right.  I feel like writing is part studies, part practice and part gut instinct.  I rely on the later a lot, dabble in the first and the middle comes naturally as one constantly writes as a writer. 

Anyway, I can't wait to see/hear your reactions to later chapters.



Name: MrsDarcy (Signed) · Date: 11 Dec 2018 06:41 AM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Switch

 

Hi Carrie

 

I really like the idea behind this fic, very interesting and original. Why doesn't it have more reviews? That surprises me, since your writing is impeccable. It just flows. 

 

I really like Remus' "voice" - the biggest issue I have with fan fics is that it's hard to "imitate" an already established character and, of course, people have different interpretations. I like that he has exiled himself (that isn't in the books right? or did I just forget about it?), at least I think this is something Remus would actually do. 

 

Can't wait to read about his interactions with Lily and Harry, pretending to be a "normal" man, something I'm sure he has always wanted. I hope there'll be some emotional complications, maybe feelings for Lily? Or would that be too complicated and ruin his friendship with James? Guess I'll have to wait and see!

 

I'm going to read it in bits, since I'm a bit busy, just wanted to leave my thoughts this far. 

 

Overall, awesome first chapter, original idea, great writing, love your Remus

 

- Beth 

 



Author's Response:

Thank you love for your incredibly kind review.  This was a lovely surprise this morning.  I am so glad you are enjoying what you are reading presently.  You have made me feel really good about my writing in general and I am hopefully going to get another chapter written soon - I know you are only at the start and taking things in pieces but I wanted to say that you have helped encourage my writing so thank you.

I am glad you like my Remus voice.  He's a character I've been working with and writing since 2004ish.  Remus to me is my baby.  His exile is not canon in the books but made sense to me.  There was a reason why Remus was not chosen at all to be a secret keeper at all, there is a reason why Harry has no photos of Remus at James and Lily's wedding but has Sirius.  This is me providing a reason.  

I will admit now that there is not a lot of interaction with Lily and Harry on Remus' part but you will get some in I believe it is chapter 3, if I recall 2 focuses on James (it's hard to remember to be honest)

I can't wait to hear from you again!  I'm so glad you enjoyed and I deeply appreciate your review.



Name: Finefrenzy__ (Signed) · Date: 30 Jul 2018 10:26 PM · [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Switch

Heya, I'm here with your Hotseat review :)

 

I must say, I am really intrigued in how this story is going to play out. It is a really interesting concept of switching Remus and James.

 

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!

 

Does this mean that James actually survives, and Remus is the one that dies when Voldemort comes to attack them? Does it mean that James is permanently trapped? Does he as actually get to see his son grow up after all?

 

I'm cant wait to read on an see what happens.

 

Great job!

<3 Finefrenzy__



Author's Response: Hey! Thank you for the lovely review. I am so glad you like the concept that is this story. Admittedly all of your questions are answered in the chapters following this one so sadly no answers for you here in the response. I do hope to hear from you again as you read further!


Name: Nix (Signed) · Date: 25 May 2018 11:12 AM · [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Mission

Nix here for Team Silver!

 

I feel so bad for Remus. Sure, he finally gets to meet his son, and help protect him, but he also has to do so under the guise of being his father's friend, and cannot tell Harry the truth. And only because Sirius is on the lose, Sirius who was his best friend but is now known for giving up James and Lily's location and killing Peter.

 

I'm kind of sad you didn't touch on James finding out about Sirius and his being put in Azkaban for betraying everyone. But maybe that would have thwarted the progress of the story. 

 

Dumbledore's always great at asking favors, isn't he? I did like how you touched on that. Dumbledore, always asking too much of the people around them, asking them to put their lives constantly on the line... But that paragraph made it sound like it was Dumbledore's idea for James and Remus to switch places... when in the first chapter James said it was his idea? That was a little confusing. But maybe James just said that to convince Remus to agree? Not sure.

 

Anyway, great chapter!

xxNix



Author's Response: Yeah James getting to meet his son but cannot say that Harry is his son is kind of the exact reason I wanted to write this story. The emotional field here is a gold mine. I love playing with and writing emotions if you can't already tell. Admittedly I didn't mention Sirius going to Azkaban the new wouldn't have been a large scene but maybe I'll consider putting in a small line regarding it, as I don't want to slow the story down further than it is by inserting a whole chapter/scene. As for Dumbledore asking too much. I am admittedly not a huge fan of Dumbles. So I am working to paint that balance between the not nice person he is and people looking up to and respecting him. In regards to switching places, I will have to re-read the paragraph but I know I was meaning to indicate that Dumblesore is blames some for insisting that the spell continue to be kept secret. Though, I could hand wave and say that time convolutes memories and opinions. Still thanks for pointing it out an I will certainly give it a once over again in the future.


Name: Nix (Signed) · Date: 25 May 2018 10:39 AM · [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Change

Nix here again for Team Silver!

 

Oh no! Poor James has no idea! It must be so terrible for him. Everyone's celebrating that the Dark Lord is dead and he's not in the know, unexpecting what he's about to find out. He wants to return to his family, to get his body back, and live happily ever after, and once he sees Dumbledore, all that happiness just shatters. And then to find out his son's alive! But because the person who was in his body died, he is stuck in his friend's body permanently, as a werewolf. Oh this changes everything! Completely makes you look at the Remus we know in a different light. And of course, as Remus it wouldn't make sense for him to have Harry. He has no blood tie to the boy, so the boy must live with the sister that treated Lily and James so terribly for being what they were, for having magical powers. But it will keep his son safe until he's of age. He can't argue with that. But it's also just a terirble situation. 

 

And of course, he doesn't know that Sirius offered up Peter to be his family's secret keeper. At this point, I don't think he thinks his best friend betrayed him, but I'm sure he'll find out soon enough. I wonder how he'll take it. Very curious to read the next chapter.

 

Great job so far with handling this type of situation!

xxNix



Author's Response: Nix, I know you have been reviewing for the reviewing competition the house had for the frogs but I have enjoyed all of your reviews just the same! Anyway, I will admit that I was very harsh to James in this chapter, yet that is honestly how things would have happened in my head. I can even see similar happening with Remus only he didn't have as much at stake as James does. I am glad you get why James cannot raise his own son, I have had people question this but it all came down to the blood ties among other things that did not sit well with James. Honestly while it is not written as I do a time jump, James didn't believe that Sirius would have betrayed him at first - shock and all but the facts are what they are. Last he knew Sirius was the secret keeper not Peter not someone else. Then the story of how Peter confronted Sirius and died doing so kind of sealed things. It honestly broke James it is why he goes away for a time as stated in next chapter. Given time James accepts the presented facts as truth and begins to hate some as the man he would call friend betrayed him at the deepest of levels. Needless to say that while I haven't updated in a while this story has been fun for me to write.


Name: Nix (Signed) · Date: 22 May 2018 07:01 PM · [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Plan

Hello again! Nix here for Team Silver!

 

Oh Sirius, always making a joke even in the most dire of times. I feel bad for Remus, clearly something's gone down between Sirius and Remus and Remus is pretending to be James so he has to act like nothing's wrong around Sirius when he's clearly not happy with his old friend. I wonder what happened... were they a thing? Did Sirius say or do something that ended it? Is it something else? I'm very curious to know.

 

And poor Lily. Of course she didn't want Remus to switch places with James. Whatever her feelings are about Remus, she wanted her husband with her, the man she married and who fathered her child. Of course she'd disapprove, why didn't Remus think to ask this? He is supposed to be the smart one. So I can fully support the fact that she mad at him right now.

 

Oh no, no Sirius. Don't do it! I always wonder what would have happened if Sirius hadn't of made this stupid decision. I want to read on but I don't want to read on... It's not your fault though and I will read on.

 

Great chapter!

xxNix



Author's Response: Yep, Sirius thinks a lot of things are a joke and when he doesn't think it is a joke young him will crack one to alleviate the tension and the worry. At least that is my take on him. Pre-Azkaban how could he now continue to make jokes and have fun even in the dire times? He's over confident and self assured. Anyway I kind of explained in a previous response what was going on between Sirius and Remus. I honestly feel that Remus didn't fully forgive Sirius for the incident with Snape and that made tensions tight and Sirius being prideful like he is took offense to not being forgiven even though he never properly apologized and it put them at odds that mounted more and more. It is a convoluted situation that I should write one of these days. Admittedly there is a lot going on in this chapter but it is the big set up for the next one. Also honestly I started the next chapter where I did because I struggled with the idea of writing a certain canon scene. I might one day, but it was just not for this fic.


Name: Nix (Signed) · Date: 21 May 2018 12:21 AM · [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Ultimatum

Here again for Team Silver!

 

It must be super weird for James to be in Remus' body, not just to feel the pull of the wolf but also to see, hear, and smell everything with super heightened senses. Same for Remus, sure the weight of being a werewolf may be gone, but he's lost those senses that he's surely grown used to over the year. 

 

Wow, they really picked a bad day to do this switch. James returns to Remus hideout only to quickly be accosted by Bigsby and find out this Rhea wants to see him. Of course he can't do what she's asking of him. James knows, he knows Remus would never do it, and he certainly would never let anyone else do it in his body. I wonder how James will handle this situation. And how he'll hand the upcoming full moon as well. How will he control himself? Will he take the potion that helps him remember himself? Very curious to see how this plays out for James.

 

Great chapter!

xxNix



Author's Response: Yeah, it was a bad time to switch. Bad time indeed. Admittedly a lot of what happens in this chapter is seat up for future events if I were to write this story until the end of the second war. However now that I'm as far as I am I've concluded the story will end near the same point that POA ends. So this setup won't play out in this exact story but I might play with it later in like a companion piece or if I write a straight Remus piece this event would have happened for him just the same as it happened for James. Only reason I haven't eliminated this chapter and scene is because I feel it still has value to show difficulties of Remus' life and not to mention Rhea comes back up in a later chapter. As for the wolf's bane potion, it hasn't been invented yet so James will not be taking that until Harry'd 3rd year.


Name: Nix (Signed) · Date: 20 May 2018 11:55 PM · [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Switch

Hello! Nix here for Team Silver! 

 

Wow, this is such an interesting premise, the idea of James and Remus switching places right before James and Lily are murdered... that would certainly change everything... I'm intrigued by the idea of Remus taking the blame as scapegoat in order to lure out the actual mole into showing themselves. I can't believe James and Sirius would actually believe it was him though, that just seems unlikely, werewolf or not, they've known him for most of their lives...

 

I'm surprised James asked for the switch. And a little confused. Did he ask for this before or after he found out about Remus not actually being the leak in the Order? How did he come to the conclusion of switching places with someone else and putting the safety of the two people he loves most in another's hand? 

 

Very curious to see where this story leads.

xxNix



Author's Response: Nix, I know I am late for a response to you but I am gradually working my way though them! I am glad you are intrigued by the idea of the story. Admittedly Remus being the scape goat and James believing it for a time was due in part to a good acting job on Remus' part and the 'poison' that seeped into the marauder friendship as Sirius sending Snape down to werewolf-Remus was not taken lightly. In my mind things were tenuous from that point forward. James bought it but still questioned in my mind and he came up with the switch idea after realizing that Remus isn't as guilty as most people believed him to be. As to how he could come to such a conclusion as to suggest and ask for the switch, well a desperate many will desperately grasp at things to keep that which he loves safe in the best way he knows how. Thus the switch idea was hatched which makes room for this story. Obviously this didn't happen in real canon but my universe here is a slightly altered canon compliant story. A lovely what if and a joyous romp on my part to play with emotions.


Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 04 Feb 2018 09:53 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Trip

Hello! Review tag! :)

I really wanted to come back to this story because I love the idea behind it so much! I've come to this chapter because I was quite sure that I'd read the previous ones already... actually I'm quite sure I had already read this one as well... but I couldn't find any reviews that I left you on any site, except on the first chapter... I'm a bit confused, honestly... but, whatever...

I loved this chapter! It was so bittersweet and moving! I just wanted to hug James tight half the time! The nostalgia when he thought back to his friends, and giving Remus the suitcase and mocking him about his dream of becoming a teacher... that's all so sad and so sweet at the same...

What's even more sad is thinking that James truly believes that Sirius is the traitor. It always breaks my heart to think how everyone believed Sirius guilty for so long, and especially in this story, especially James who was so close to him, almost a brother... it's just heartbreaking...

And then there is Harry. Harry, who looks so alike him. Harry, who has the exact same eyes as Lily. Harry, who has no idea who Remus is, much less that he isn't Remus but his own father. Harry, who must not know... I wonder how James even resisted the impulse of hugging him and telling him everything.

You did make me smile, though, when James snorted in his pretense of sleep to make Malfoy run away. I had forgot that happened in the book, and I love your interpretation of it. It was such a smart move on James' part. :P

Argh, the teasing between him and Snape at the end of the chapter. It doesn't bode well at all... and he actually used lycanthropy to threaten him! I know hurting Snape, or anyone for all that matters, is the last thing James would want, if only in respect of Remus' memory, but still the threat in itself... in his defense, Snape was the first to threaten his life, so... it's going to be interesting...

This was a great chapter! Hopefully I will get the chance/remember to come back to this story soon! I really love it!

Lots of love,

Chiara



Author's Response:

Chiara,

 

I am so glad you got to come back to this story even if you happened to read the same chapter you read before.  I am glad you liked the read at the same time.  A lot of this chapter was filling in a lot of questions and thoughts I had before when reading the chapter.  I mean Remus is poor he wouldn't have gone off and gotten a case monogrammed right after getting the job at Hogwarts (considering the case was battered). Also if I recall the words were pealing too - so the question remains if Remus had taught before or not and I didn't think so - so I figured the case was something the Marauders cooked up as a loving joke to gift Remus and thus James inherited Remus' things for this story and there you have it.  

 

Also, you are right twat it was hard on James - I always imagined this scene was hard on the real Remus too just not as much as James, but I was always convinced that Remus was never fully sleeping as some of his snorts and actions were far too well timed and thus this was my chance to do my take on what James/Remus was doing during the journey to Hogwarts.

 

As for James and Snape - that was a fun scene for me to write and Snape would be cold enough to go for the low blows even toward Remus.  There are certainly some interesting times ahead for James as Remus and Snape. It was clear in the books they never got along and I wish to refelect that here outside of the canon we see.  

 

Anyway, I look forward to you coming back as I love hearing people's thoughts on this story and I'm hopeful to take some time to get more wirtten in the near future again.  I am determined that this story will reach its conclusion!



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 04 Oct 2017 09:32 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Potion

Carrie!

 

Understandably, James must be nervous transforming. While Remus was once used to transforming at Hogwarts in the safety of the Shrieking Shack, James never has before. McGonagall is right though, it is probably a little easier as a teacher to go unnoticed, especially over the weekend. In fact, if Snape hadn't skipped ahead to werewolves, Hermione might've not even truly figured it out (well, if you don't account for Sirius dragging Ron and Peter into Shrieking Shack and Remus turning into a werewolf that night).

 

Ugh, and that's absolutely right -- Harry's got enough on his plate than to have to deal with his prophesized death. Although, we know that the dog in the cup was probably not so much predicting the Grim as it was predicting Sirius Black. I'm really kind of excited to see how James emotionally deals with one, learning that Peter is alive and the traitor and two, learning that Sirius had been innocently sent to Azkaban. James gets to see his BEST FRIEND again who is INNOCENT, and who was like his BROTHER but James is Remus 8-0 !

 

Heheheh, 'it could do with some sugar' <-- Oh, James. Snape and James/Remus are just not going to be getting along :p.

 

Can't wait for more!

 

-Rumpel



Author's Response:

Ack!  The last review.  This is not just the last review that you have left this is the last review I have to reply to of all the reivews!  I never thought I'd get to this point!  I'm kind of in shock here.  But yes there is so much drama and potential for drama and I cannot wait to get to it.  Yep, you can guess what I'm going to be doing here soon!  Looking at the last chapter, grabbing my POA when I get home and seeing what it will take to write the next chatper.  There are some exciting things to come. 

Also you are right unless Hermione read ahead which is is apt to do she wouldn't have pieced it together.  I mean she is smart but she had to learn first to figure things out.  Still it isn't often for people to figure it out and Minerva is right eaiser to hide as a teacher than to hide from your bunk makes.  Also I have ideas with Sirius and James as Remus!  I will have to write them.  Also you just stopped short of one of my favorite scenes involving Snape and James/Remus it give me joy that scene and I cannot wait to see/here/read your reaction to it when you get there!  Read more Rumple! Read more!  (I know you are busy love and I understand I just had to take a minute to be demanding.)



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 03 Oct 2017 10:32 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Lesson

Hey, Carrie!

 

It makes sense that the Ravenclaw's took an overall scholarly approach in attempting to thwart the Boggart, while the Hufflepuffs used teamwork to their advantage. I wonder what would happen if a Boggart had to face multiple targets -- like, I know we see it a little in canon, but if there were like 10 people trying to face it all at the same time. Would it get confused or tired out from changing shapes of their worst fears? I need to know. I'm losing my train of thought.

 

Anyway. Yeah, flying tea cozies takes the cake. I completely understand why James would be wary of letting Harry face the Boggart, given his circumstances and not knowing exactly what shape the Boggart would then take. 

 

To be fair, Peeves was definitely asking for it -- but that spell sounds entirely uncomfortable :/. 

 

I can imagine that, given the history, pretty much anything could sound like a challenge so long as Snape and Remus (James) disagreed with each other  (but Snape's picking on Neville is extremely uncalled for and, I have a feeling, if Neville had been treated with a little more patience in his Potion's classes, that he might've not become so worked up as to continuously screw up. It's no wonder why Snape is Neville's worst fear.) 

 

Well, Snape in a dress is better than tea cozies, I will admit ;). I love how Snape jumped to the conclusion that James somehow manipulated Neville's perception about his greatest fear :p. Because he hasn't made Potion's class a living hell for the boy fro the past three years.  

 

Aw, this was an excellent chapter! Can't wait to read the next one.

 

-Rumpel



Author's Response:

Ohh Rumpel.... do I ever have theories about bogarts!  Do I have theories, I came upon them when writing Teddy Lupin in an RP dealing with bogarts.  He took after dad teaching at Hogwarts. But yeah groups confuse the bogart in my mind.  Then I have a whole theory of what happens when you face your fears.  Someone I know wrote a post doing that and Teddy saw it and his brain and mine started firing!

As for the spell against Peeves - that was canon.  Uncomfortable yes but canon and I worked with it. But yes this chapter was a good one and Snape would blame Remus/James for the embarassment even if it is his own fualt.  I do agree that Nevile would have done better if he had had a patient teacher.



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 29 Sep 2017 01:30 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Boggart

Carrie! I've been anticipating this scene...I'm pretty excited for it.

 

Showing off is something James is good at and I can imagine that the little first years would be extremely awestruck by some fancy wandwork. 

 

I also really like the bit about how James came across the Boggart (hiding in a wardrobe in the teacher's lounge) that he will use in his Third Years' class. I love how, along with exploring the emotional differences, that you're also filling in some canonical gaps in a way that makes perfect sense with James being Remus. Practicing repelling Boggarts is some excellent hands-on material for the kids.

 

Yeah, I can imagine that James is completely beside himself with Sirius spotted so close to the school and believing that he's coming to harm Harry. I also like the idea of James battling the inner werewolf part of him, fighting for control over his emotions.

 

I love Draco's fear of tea cozies! I'm dying! I absolutely have to know where to know how he's developed this fear of tea cozies! I also like that James was able to put him in his place a little bit ;).


Another fabulous chapter!

 

-Rumpels



Author's Response:

Okay, so I am grinning like an idiot right now and hoping people at work do not notice this.  (Yes I'm doing this at work - but I am having to pace my works some and this helps. I read a little I work a little I write a little I work a little.  Job gets done nad it is win win.)  But yes tea cozies.  I needed something ridiculous and hillarious and that is why I landed on.  I remember discussing it with Alexis and I decided that as a kid Draco opened a cloest and like a mountain of them came crashing down on him and scared a very young Drao - that or he was caught in a closet filled with them.  (Something)

 

I am glad that you like that I am filling in the canon gaps that is another fun bit of this fiction.  There is a lot I have found fun with this story.  It's a wonder I'm not done yet and am still slowly working on this story.  Seriously, I told you, responding to these reviews would make me want to get back to writing this!



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 28 Sep 2017 08:32 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Start

Heeeey, Carrie! <3

 

I just noticed while looking for what chapter I was on, but having the chapter names all me "The [example]" is pretty clever and so much more organized than the random mess of things that I name chapters :P.

 

Anyway.  Faster than a ferret from a Hippogriff! I love magic-related turns of phrases, this one's no exception. Also, I would also probably have an extremely difficult time trying to transition from calling McGonagall 'Professor' to call her by her first name. Plus, now he has to live up to Remus' potential, given the fact that he's wearing his body.

 

I can imagine that James must be filled with nostalgia with being back in the castle, however, the memories must be bitter-sweet given his current situation.  And also, I can imagine first years feeling mightier than thou with being able to use magic for the first time :P. I'd probably never want to stop waving my wand, either.

 

And, after all, James is still a bit of a troublemaker :D. I can see how he'd want to teach Malfoy a lesson though (and especially because he was nearly responsible for Buckbeak's death, but that's my own personal vendetta).  

 

Another fantastic chapter -- I'm excited to see what happens next!

 

-Rumpels



Author's Response:

Ah yes the chapter titles.  That was a fun little thing that started out as a fluke and I decided to keep running with.  It is not always easy to think of a chapter title that works with that theme but it is too late to back out of it now.  So I am sticking with it.  The other little patter thing that you may not have picked up on that is even more challenging is that each chapter ends on a line of dialogue.  It was also a fluke with the first few chapters and now it is a goal.  It has been a challenge and I did end one chapter without a line of dialogue but Alexis, fantastic person that she is keeps me sharp and helped me not mess up that theme.  (Truth be told I know the last line of what should be the last chapter, if I keep to plan of ending at about the end of the school year.

 

As for the magic related turns of phrases that is slightly inspired by Alexis I think she has offered a few and she inspired me to use them here and there to liven things up.  It is also a lot of fun.  Anyway, I am so glad you are enjoying the story even if this was probably a bit of a filler chapter.



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 27 Sep 2017 08:11 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Trip

Hello again!

 

It makes sense that James would want to ride the train, even past the idea of the full moon: if Sirius was after his son, he most definitely would want to be there to stop him.

 

The bit about teasing Remus about looking like a professor, and Remus's dream job of being a professor, and the suitcase as a gift from James and Sirius -- that really stung a bit! Especially in combination with the line, " Look at him now; here he was finally achieving that dream for Remus." Right. In. The. Feels. 

 

And then, of course, he gets to 'kinda' meet Harry! I would have totally been all about that eavesdropping, too, if I had been in James' position. And, oh my goodness, the part where James' snorted in his sleep because of Draco calling Harry 'Potty' -- that was so funny! 

 

But then seeing Harry in pain, with such a likeness to himself when he was that age, plus knowing that whatever memories Harry was having must have been something no 13-year-old should have to deal with and knowing that he can't really be his father and hasn't for an extremely long time... I can imagine it's devastating; it hurts me and I'm not even the one being affected by it!  And this totally makes sense why James/Remus would want to teach him the Patronus charm.

 

And yeah, I can see how James is dying to tell Harry the truth right then and there! :( It must be incredibly difficult for him with Harry treating him like a stranger (even though that's technically what he is).

 

OMG, Snape's comment about taking care of the 'beasts' in the castle was so snarky and oh-so-Snape. It was beautiful. But then James coming back with the comment about the first years -- you've got me in tears, I'll have you know. The back and fourths between James/Remus and Snape will be downright hysterical, I imagine. 

 

Anyway, this was another wonderful chapter! I'm excited to read some more!

 

-Rumpel

 



Author's Response:

James/Remus vs Snape is a blast to be honest.  I have lots of fun writing them.  I admit I slowed down to make sure that every punch landed and landed solidly.  Also I was freaking nervous writing Snape becuase he's Alexis baby and her Inner!Snape speaks up when she edits for me and I worried I was going to fail at getting him.  I like panicked but luck me I landed it right.  It was still fun to write even if I was worried and slow at writing it.

As for the evesdropping and the snortting, James or Remus they would do exactly that - I was convinced of it that he wasn't really sleeping there from nearly the start.  Only it was far more interesting to do this from the James POV than the Remus POV though to be honest I have got that in my head and I could easily re-write this whole fic with Remus properly Remus.  There would be differences here and there such as in non-canon dialoge and the early chapters wouldn't exist but a novel/novella doesn't play as well if it is retelling a story from a new perspective rather than doing something unique as a canon bend.

Still I might do something sometime.  I ages ago had designs and plans for a Remus epic doing his whole life story starting from when he was bitten till the end of the serries but I stopped writing about his second year.  I condier going back and doing it again but I should get this done first.  This and Out of Time.



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 27 Sep 2017 07:18 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Mission

Hey, lovely!

 

Yeah, I can totally understand why coming forward as someone who is supposed to be Remus Lupin, claiming that he's Harry's father would sound both insane and desperate. James is kind of without a paddle no matter which way he looks at it, and for now the most he can do is hope for good news and onlook from afar -- it must be killing him.

 

(GASP, I had a sudden realization -- how is this all going to fit it with the Tonks situation?! I'm excited to find out.)

 

I also liked how the cloak of invisibility ties into this. While I think the typical canon version also makes sense (that after James died, the invisibility cloak was left in Dumbledore's possession and then given to Harry), this is a fantastic tie into it. Where it can appear to be that Dumbledore gave it to Harry, though it was actually from his father (trapped in Remus' body -- I'm still quite upset that you killed Remus *cries* :p).

 

With Sirius escaped from Azkaban and James believing that he was responsible for his wife's death, two of his friend's death, and the 'orphaning' of his son, where he hasn't been able to actually be his father given the circumstances -- I have no doubt that James would, in fact, kill him if he had to. There's so much betrayal in what appears to be -- and now Harry is in danger.

 

And then again, I love how this leads up to Remus' (James') position at Hogwarts. That's one of the biggest things that I love about this piece is that it's not really AU, but more of a canon-bender. Let's bend that canon! Bend it! (I've had too much coffee, but you're probably used to that by now).  I didn't even think about how James would react to having to work as a colleague to Snape (let alone, how he would react to having to drink a potion made by him). Though Dumbledore has a point, James is Remus, and Remus has much less of a bad rep with Snape than James or Sirius did.

 

And James must be so thrilled that he gets to meet his son (and have a proper job)! It has got to be the biggest highlight since before Lily died. (And now I'm thinking of that scene with Remus speaking to Harry at Hogwarts -- that little heart-to-heart; except it'll be JAMES! *squeak*.) 

 

Ahh, it's so sad and so much freaking fun! Awesome job again! 

 

-Rumpel



Author's Response:

Oh yeah James is dying - it is killing him everything that is going on and not being there with his son and knowing the hard times that he is having.  I know if James actually could do something he would but he really has been stripped of everything.  Though he's been tempted to do the crazy thing and he's been tempted to tell someone something.  He hasn't.  He's actually being a good egg for once though I have to twist his arm at times as you'll see in future chapters. 

 

As for the cloak it was something I had to reason and logic out. I am trying very hard to keep things canon from Harry's perspective and as far as Harry knows James dided and the cloak was left with Dumbledore before his death and Dumbledore felt it right to give it back to a Potter.  As far as Harry is aware this is the case while the truth is a whole other matter.  Dumbledore had the cloak as canon but James insisted it go to Harry.

 

And yes, James is deeply betrayed by Sirius as far as he knows and preceives things.  If faced with his former best friend at this very point in time he would act like James and he would kill him on the spot without a hesitation and leave no room for explinations.  Lucky for us we know canon and James will be forced to see the truth and reason before confronting Sirius.  Funny how things work out like that.

 

Also yes bent canon.  There are times for a straight AU and times for a bend of canon and this is a bend.  This is what makes this story fun for me, it is a challenge to ge James to behave and while I whine at times to his ways not lining up with cannon it is still fun and I have ideas and thoughts. As for Tonks if I were to go onto book 5, yes James as Remus would still end up with Tonks (and I think it is cute) but I am actually not going to go that far though I might be convinced, once I am done with this fic to write a few one offs of scenes with James as Remus to compliment this story.  But yes the heart to hearts the emotions!  It is soo much fun and honestly I am looking at every single detailed action in the books - which makes limmiting quotes challenging. (another part of the fun)



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 26 Sep 2017 08:40 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Change

Hello again, lovely!

 

I can imagine that James would be having an extremely difficult time between being away from his family, dealing with the mission, and also having to deal with everything that's happening to him with the impending full moon. I do love your descriptions of the kinds of ways that the moon had been affecting James. I also like the idea that either Remus was better at hiding/dealing with/managing some of his symptoms than he let on.  Then, of course, Remus was a child when he was bitten and had the time to develop coping mechanisms. 

 

Oh - my - goodness! You did do it! You killed Remus. It's an amazingly crazy plot twist and I love it. But I'm getting way too far ahead of myself.

 

With James hearing the news of Voldemort's defeat for the first time, he's filled with SUCH JOY. And then to have that fall apart in his hands when he hears the news of Lily's death is so very sad! Plus, not being able to see his son because of the Vicissitudo charm and how James is now stuck as being Remus is killing me (and James as well).  And James is obviously livid (and he'd have to be to punch Dumbledore). And, of course, learning that Harry was still in danger can't have helped the situation.

 

Ahhh, I'm dying to know where this is headed next! I'll be back (most probably) tomorrow with some more reviews.

 

-Rumpel



Author's Response:

Rumpel!

I can't say how many times your reviews make me smile.  Like I can't even.  Yeah the death of Remus was not easy.  There is a eason I did not tell it from Remus' perspective!  That isn't to say that this was an easy chapter to write.  I agonized over this chapter, the emotions here, the actions of Dumbledore, the why James can't be a dad so on and so forth.  As for the punch I figure Harry got that from somewhere and I showed that in James and really you can't blame James for doing what he did.  Dumbledore was not too kind in this chapter.  But yes, I love to torment characters at times and this is certainly what happened to James here.



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 26 Sep 2017 07:41 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Plan

Okay, I thought I reviewed more than twice for you on the old site. I guess not but that just means I only had to reread the first two chapters so that was a plus (it's been SO very long since I've come to visit this story). Anyway.

 

Yes, on top of James having to endure the change of the full moon (and, most presently, all of the effects leading up to the full moon), he also has to take Remus' place in the werewolf society (a mission Remus has already begun). I can see how Remus would be worrying -- not only because of the full moon but because if James messes up with the mission, it might cost him his life.

 

And, of course, it must be a bit of a struggle to remain friendly with Sirius at James' level, given James has no problem with Sirius.  Remus does a good job at holding his end of the banter up though and I loved his statement about Moody never mentioning exactly where he got his magical eye.  Also, this line, ""Constant vigilance!" proclaimed Sirius sitting upright holding up his middle and forefinger." was awesome. I can picture the annoyed look on Moody's face and Sirius and James finding this particularly funny (and Remus James, too, for that matter, since James isn't actually in this scene).

 

(I'm seriously wondering what Sirius is up to!)

 

Yeah, it's probably for the best (and I do mean everyone's best interest that Lily was informed of the little swap)!  She doesn't seem overly thrilled by the situation.  I can see where Lily feels slighted but at the same time it's a whole lot more of the real James' fault than it is Remus'. However, with everything going on and tensions so high, I'm not surprised by her reaction. 

 

Oh! It's the big Secret Keeper swap idea! Of course, the real James doesn't know anything about this (who I'm still assuming will be swapped with Remus post 'James' and Lily's deaths.  Oh my goodness -- that would also mean that Harry still gets his dad, though not really because he's in Lupin's body. Ohhhh... so many possibilities. 

 

Anyway. Lovely chapter!!

 

-Rumpels

 

 

 



Author's Response:

Rumpel.  When reading your reviews I seriously get excited!  You make me smile and you make me love this tory all the more.  Maybe by the time I am done answering all these lovely reviews from you I'll be chomping at the bit to continue writing.  I have left this story bey for so long that it does need love once more.  I am sure Alexis would love to have another chapter to Beta.  

I am glad you liked the light hearted moment in the story.  I try to mix in some humor here and there.  I don't think I could do straigh comedy but but I do like to lighten things up and Sirius pre-Azkaban is the best man for the job!  But yes there is a lot that can be done with this whole swap that is why I wanted to play with it.  My plan is to keep it VERY canon, which is a source of frustration for people on FF.net but I love just toying with the thoughts and the emotions and the why things are the way they are rather than going for a full on AU where James as Remus gets to go 'Harry, I am your father."  

All the same, I am glad you like this fic and I'm excited to re-read your up coming reviews and responding to them!



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 26 Sep 2017 06:29 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Ultimatum

Another C&P from HPFF (not counting towards the reviews I owe you, of course).
Hey Marshal, I'm here with the second of your reviews that you won for the "Guess the Present Graphics" Challenge :).</P><p>You are doing an absolutely spectacular job with James and the position he's in. The amount of empathy he's building for Remus -- given being able to feel the pain and fatigue that Remus is constantly struggling with, not to mention dealing with the nightmares, the living situation, and the people he has to be around -- is spot on, in my opinion. </p><p>As a character, I think it also assists in James' development once he's finally able to understand what exactly has been happening with Remus ("<br />For the first time, he began to realize that while he and Sirius had made a game of things, it wasn't as much of one for Remus as they thought.") What kills me though is the foreshadowing in that same paragraph, where James wants to apologize to Remus when he sees him again (and then later, when he wants to speak to Remus about his living situation). I'm getting the sneaking suspicion that James will never actually see Remus again... *Sigh* I'm also getting the suspicion that this story will eventually result in tears (for me).</p><p>It's also drawing in the reader's empathy, which as great feat.</p><p>I like the idea of the hierarchy within the werewolf society. It reminds me of the natural order of things in a wolf pack and, given Fenrir's stance on his purpose and power behind being a werewolf, it's no surprise that he and his followers would adhere to this instinctual want/need for a hierarchy. </p><p>Rhea is an awesome character. I mean, I hate her, obviously, she's a villain, but she's a villain done right. She has this sort of sensually quiet evil to her and it makes her *terrifying*. It's no wonder why she's second-in-command.</p><p>I hate the awful predicament that James has been placed in, too. He has to now live in fear of Fenrir's wrath (and God knows what he'll do) or appease him/Rhea by turning a child (or someone). Obviously Remus wouldn't do it, and neither would James. It's just an awful predicament.</p><p>And that was quite a suspenseful hook into the next chapter! I wonder what'll happen...</p><p>Lovely chapter! </p><p>-Rumpel</p><P>



Author's Response:

Oddly enough, I did not ever reply to this old review over at HPFF, so I shall now.  I know there was some confusion on who was doing the Guess the present review rewards and I ended up with an extra review but I am not complaining.  Never have, never will.  Also I am so very glad to have gotten the review from you.  I didn't know you as well then as I do now but I always love Rumple reviews!  

Anyway, I admit that I have given a lot of though to Remus and his condition.  Remus is my all time favorite character and I have an infatuation with werewolves and lycanthropy.  Admittedly I've written Remus in one way or another for a decade so his character is one I feel I know well.  You are right that James will never actually see Remus.  Also while I may not be quite at the level of Rose in ripping hearts out I do like to prick people with emotion.  I think that is the goal with a lot of writing to move people in one way or another.

 

Also I am so glad that you like Rhea, she's a fun little character that has grown from what she was when I first tried to write this story into something more.  I have plans with the Rhea character, I am not sure all of them will unfold here in this story but I have to play like they will otherwise she isn't being true to herself.



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 26 Sep 2017 06:28 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Switch

Just C&Ping from HPFF (Obviously, not counted as your prize reviews from Companion Piece Challenge)!


Hey, Marshal!</P><p>A story about Remus? I love Remus!</p><p>In the wake of the war, especially with the werewolf prejudices staked against him, I'd imagine that Remus would be made to feel alone. I think you've done a great job exemplifying that via his characterization, making him feel isolated from even his friends. </p><p>That constant fear of an enemy disguising themselves as someone who could otherwise be trusted would have been a tremendous threat during the war. Using Remus' trepidation like you have, where he even isn't sure if he can trust Dumbledore to be Dumbledore, was a clever example of this. I also appreciate the continuation of cannon questioning as proof against such subterfuge. Kudos!</p><p>"He doubted that he could ever have back the friendships he once had." -Congratulations, you've broken my heart in six paragraphs. I have a love/hate relationship with this particular part of the war; there are so many, many tragedies, but the appeal of the era is so very, very strong. The Marauders had such a tightly knitted friendship, and this is the era when that all shatters. Oh dear, there go my feels again :(.</p><p>Anyway (I promised myself that you wouldn't see all of my crazy upon my first review, so we'll move forward). </p><p>The exchange between Remus and James was brilliant. I love that you used that question-system as a method to not only bring in the back story of what happened between the pair, but it also created some excellent dialogue. I can't entirely blame James for thinking ill of his friend -- he has a family to protect, and there's an army of evil after him. At the same time, I do feel bad for Remus -- he's only doing what the Order needs of him.</p><p>Ah, conflict. You've wielded it wisely. </p><p>The Vicissitudo charm, that's where things took an interesting twist. I don't think I've read anything else with this concept. I like it. I like it a lot. If Remus is more skilled than James, than it definitely makes sense to have him there protecting Lily and Harry.</p><p>I can definitely see James having a bit of a difficult time adjusting to Remus' worn body, too.</p><p>I could only find a little bit of CC for you, but I tried my best:</p><p>The first thing was the spelling of "Mooney". In the books, it was spelled "Moony" (though I can't say with any certainty that that wasn't altered in different versions for different languages -- if that's the case, ignore me). That was nothing, though, I almost didn't catch it.</p><p>The second, and final, thing that I saw only stood out to me because it's something that I need to work on with my own writing. Sometimes, more often in large chunks of text where there is no dialogue or action, some of the sentences get a bit wordy. </p><p>For example, "Honestly even in the Order, even among his own friends there was mistrust and prejudice against werewolves against him."</p><p>It's just a little wordy, and can easily be slowed down with punctuation without having to eliminate anything. Ex: "Honestly even in the Order--even among his own friends--there was mistrust and prejudice against werewolves, against him." Or something like that.</p><p>Otherwise, your writing seems pretty tight, and I had an awesome time reading it. I think the plot so far is unique and my interest is piqued. This is something I'd definitely continue reading. I definitely want to find out what happens now that Remus has taken James' place in hiding! </p><p>Great job, and thanks for the swap! :D <br /></p><P>

-Rumpel


On a side note, this might be from a time before you were one-half of my sanity :P.


And also, this has obviously been edited and stuff since my review, so any of the things I'd CC'd on are pointless now. So there's that. 



Author's Response:

You are so sweet for copying this over.  I am going to do the lame thing here and post my old response cuase ya know... I'm a little lazy.


 

Rumpel,

Sorry it has taken me so long to get back you you. I figure an awesome review like yours deserved an equally awesome response. Sadly I don't know if I have the skill sets to live up to that, but I am going to try.

First I want to thank you for your most gracious compliments. Remus is a favorite character of mine and I have always thought that he would be a scape goat considering how clear it is that the friendships were broken to some degree in canon.

I'm glad I succesfully evoked the right emotion and was able to paint a clear picture. That was important to me. I wrote this story several years back and honestly I didn't have the questioning scene and the back story was presented in a flash back - I like the questioning better and it felt right - I'm glad it translated well.

I was over all worried I hadn't successfully written this well. To be honest I even posted this pre-beta and the beta'd chapter has not been approved yet. So with the Mooney vs. Moony that has been fixed and I think I tightened up some of the rambling as well as a few other things. To be told that my writing is 'tight' literally made my day. I'm still riding high on it a day later.

Thank you so much again for the review!



Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 14 Jun 2017 09:53 AM · [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Plan

Transferred from HPFF

 

8th April 2017:

 

CTF Final jailbreak for Sian

 

Wow, I’ve never encountered with the story which tells how brave James Potter was so detailed. I’ve read lots of Sirius or Snape’ romance (They are so popular, yeah?). I ‘m really moved by your choice. I spotted this first : how could he have agreed to allow one of his best friends to take over the mantle of maintaining the beast?

 

You started with deep mind movement of Remus, which gives us a big impact and I remembered Harry was so brave like his father. I love your style that reflects the bravery of James Potter on Lupin’s mind mirror. And I love your narrative tone through entire story and I remember you read many books not only HP world but also the other fandom or genre, which indicates me reading many books is important to write a story. I can learn a lot from you. That is what I feel whenever I stop by your stories.

 

“ Remus looked back at Moody who has turned his normal eye back to the diagram he had conjured up. His newly acquired magic eye continued to stare them down, giving Remus an unsettled feeling.” You wrote a good scene, I’m very impressed by your imagination.

 

“He landed just outside the door he thought for a moment to knock but realized in some ways it was not necessary.” I almost forgot about how the Fildelius charm worked. Thanks! Well written about magic!

 

“he had this gut instinct that a quiet Lily was worse than a raging one. He gave a dry swallow and adjusted his glasses standing there in the entryway not sure of where to go or what to do.” Wow I’m filled with awe at this expression. This sentences give us much information, her mind movement, feeling and Rupin’s as well.

 

"I am going to kill that man! The moment I get to see him again, I am going to kill him.” Ouch, I feel for James. I could visualize Lily’s face.

 

After those scenes, you captured each character’s mind struggle and care each other very well.

 

“Pretty much everyone knows I’m your Secret Keeper, right?” asked Sirius rhetorically before he continued on. “What if I wasn’t?” Oh, this is that moment! How did you set this scene so fabulous? I’m very impressed!



Author's Response:

Aww Kenny, forgive me in the lateness of the response of my review.  I have been super slow at getting back to people from CTF reviews.  I also really appreciate you bringing this over to HPFT.  I am not sure if I'll ever get around to responding to reviews on HPFF, I still update there just because it is there but here is my home now.  

 

Anyway, your reviews are always the sweetest and I love getting them every time.  I am glad you like the unique take I have gone with, in this story.  It was initially a response to a long gone challenge that I don't even recall - though to be honest, the idea behind the story had been playing in my mind before I saw the challenge so that was the push I needed.  (This was back in the day when challenges were not judged and prizes were not rewarded.  Yes, those days existed on HPFF, and yes I was on that site way back when before coming back as Marshal).  

 

Seriously Kenny, when I read this review the first time and even now, you make me blush.  Learning something from me?  I feel like such a poor writer at times that it is mind blowing that someone else could take something more than just a fun story from what I write.  But I guess that is part of we writers being our own worst critics.  So thank you for making me feel better about myself and my writing!  

 

I also love the way you look at things and pick the small details that sometimes I don't even think about and point out what is all indicated there.  It helps me to think more deeply about my own writing to help build and hone my craft so thank you for that as well.  I am glad you liked the story and I am sorry that you had to jump into a later chapter without reading the first.  That is always a challenge in CFT and I feel it is even more so with my story as I feel the first chapter lays all the groundwork of explaining what this story is about which is the swapping of lives between James and Remus.  I can't imagine the confusion of reading the narration of a character being one person but everyone else calling them by another name.  So thanks for putting up with the crazy of the game this past spring and managing a wonderful review all the same!



Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 07 May 2017 01:41 PM · [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Switch

Transferred from HPFF

 

Hufflepuff CtF Review

Wow, what a fascinating idea for a story! I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like this.

It makes me really sad that Remus had to unnecessarily ostracize himself from what society he had. Things were already really and for him and this just made it worse. At least Dumbledore owns up to that.

I daresay Dumbledore has a lot of “One of my greatest regrets”

I makes me so sad that Remus has even fallen out with the other marauders. And here he and James are talking so formally to each other, it really hurts my heart.

Haha, Dumbledore poking into the tense moment with a lemon square.

Wow, Remus really thinks Dumledore would ask him to bite someone. That really speaks to the fact that Remus thinks that he is good for nothing beyond being a werewolf.

I’m kind of confused why there needs to be a switching. If it’s so they have someone with them who’s better at defensive spells, why can’t they just add a bodyguard to the family? But I think we just kind of need to go with the premise here to get to the interesting content.

I really like how you described Remus identifying the changes in his new body. Not just the obvious like the different vision, but the way his muscles felt and his senses functioned. Remus is taking a bit risk with this switch and he knows it, but it also offers him freedom like he has not had before.

Oh, that’s really interesting that even though it’s not a full moon it’s a very active struggle to fight against the wolf.

Omg I’m already confused who Dumledore’s talking to when he says James and Remus XD

Again, this is a very interesting start and I am very curious to find out what happens. Can I pretend Remus!James doesn’t die? Cause I don’t want that.

Sam.



Author's Response:

Thanks for tranfering the review Sam.  I haven't responded to any reviews on HPFF and I don't think I ever will.  I'm sorry this first chapter is a little confusing.  It is a very confusing premise and I tried very hard to keep it as clear as possible which is quite tricky.  Hopefully the confusion reduces later in the story if you ever happen to read the later chapters.  If you do not that is perfectly fine as well as I know not everything is everyone's cup of tea.

 

Still, I am glad you find the concept interesting even if it confused you.



Name: MuggleMaybe (Signed) · Date: 27 Apr 2017 11:00 PM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Not My Own Chapter: The Change

Back here again to free Sam for CTF.

 

WAH! I knew this was coming but I confess I didn't expect it quite so soon. What an absolutely HORRIBLE experience for James to go through, and what a burden to live with. I'm trying to find good, articulate words to review with, but i'm honestly silenced by grief.

 

It is really unspeakably cruel of Dumbledore to prevent James from caring for Harry. Like, I actually like Petunia more than most but she and Vernon were 100% neglectful and often abusive as well and it's hard to imagine that magic wouldn't recognize james' inherent blood tie to Harry. I mean, COME ON, Albus!! The man lost his three best friends and his wife in one night, and gained a horrible disease and poor employment prospects in exchange. Can't he AT LEAST get to be with his son?! It's just Too. Horrible. 

 

That said, I completely believe that Dumbledore would react exactly like this because he always seems to put his Master Plans ahead of everybody else's well being. I mean, literally always. I'm not Dumbledore's biggest fan, if you couldn't tell. =P I thought you wrote him very well, though! His dialogue can be tricky but you're very convincing.

 

I also thought James' reaction to the news was well done. Obviously he'd be devastated. And angry, and exhausted. And you cover all of that. I have to admit - I hope you don't mind a touch of CC here - that I found the line "The news was a blow to James despite being anticipated in some form." seemed to understate the horror of the moment rather dramatically. You do build up the emotion more later, but when I first read that line I thought, "is that all?" It's certainly hard to find words to describe possibly the worst news any person could EVER receive!

 

Another really excellent chapter. I'm kind of bummed this isn't the flag story, to be honest. I would have liked to finish it. I'll try to come back post CtF. =)

 

~Renee



Author's Response:

Renee,

 

While this is a late reply as many of my others are, I am bummed too that it isn't a flag story.  I would have loved more wonderful reviews from you. You have been so kind in your thoughts on my story and I have really appreciated reading them.  I do hope you do get to come back and read a bit more.  I have been neglectful as of late in writing but I am hoping to rectify that I am probably at the half way point of the story, or at least I've reached halfway into the school year now. However this was not the flag story as it was not tactfully sound.

 

As for Albus, yes I loath him like you do as well.  He was needlessly crule to James and yet it was 100% within his character.  But thank you for your compliments on his dialogue, it is tricky and it is why I hate writing chaptes with him in it.  I drag my feet every time.  I will certainly keep your CC in mind if I ever get the chance to go back and revamp this story, but first I feel I need to finish it before I do a major clean up!



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