Hi! I’m here for April 2019 CFT.
I think it was a clever way to start this story with a letter. Harry’s life had been changed by a letter before, and I like how you mirror that with his letter offering him a chance to play professional quidditch. I think that it is also very nice how you show the difficulty of his decision as to what to do with his life. He’s wanted to be an Auror for so long, but now he has this other enticing opportunity. I’m curious to know which one he would choose in the end.
I think it was in character that Ron would want to skip out on the last year of school—didn’t they learn enough hunting horcurxes and slaying Voldemort—and that Harry and the others would want to go back to earn their N.E.W.T.s. It seemed particularly fitting that Harry would not want to be seen as getting something without earning it.
The details about the Kingsley arranging for the traumatized students to be cared for mentally was great. I love the idea that there is a special mental health team that cares for Aurors that was tapped to help the students who lived through that nightmare of the Deathly Hallows.
The ending of this chapter is so sweet and cozy with the three couples sitting together affectionately and enjoying each others company. It sets a very bright tone to the start of this story.
here for ctf.
I think this is really interesting story as I think it's going to explore Harry in this way. I think generally it's just acceptable that Harry becomes an Auror straight away and that he doesn't complete his last year.
I think you've done a really good job with Harry's characterisation because you've really highlighted that humility in his character. I do like to think that Harry wanted to still work hard to get his career and not be handed anything. I think that element feels very true to Harry. I do like that he has another dream that he wanted to follow. I thought you played the conflict in this chapter between Harry wanting to be Auror to honour those he lost againist his personal dream. It's very realistic.
I just really love how support those people around him are of his dream which is really nice and good friendship. I did especially like it with the conversation with Ginny and she helps him with his fears and encouraging him. I'm not really a big Hinny shipper but I really like the positive light in their relationship in this chapter. I think it'll be fun to see Harry's journey through the Quidditch leagues. very promising start.
I'm very happy to see Ron looks more confident and I like the plot, he used the unique strategy from his chess experiences.
The spot where Bill and Hermione work together with Potter wards is interesting for me. I am eager to know how they decipher the complicated magical things. If you add more descriptions about mystery to solve them, this story will be more exciting, Kevin. :)
It's great that Leal and Constance take care of Harry after he lost Dobby. I like the concept. It's a great idea that Harry became a philanthropist with his money for the entire Wizarding society.
As I've just written the last of Lily and James last night ( the title is "Don't Know How to Say Good-bye") , the scene you mentioned them and tears in Harry's eyes are very impressive.
Triwizard tournament rival Fleur is now working for Harry and his friends' finances. Then you set her pregnancy this timing. I enjoyed that.
Finally, you will post that martial arts training scenes. I can't wait.
P.S. Please make an entry at Auror's Tale Story Challenge Season 4 (yes, I will do it again. :P) , if you have interest. Welcome back to hpft community. :D
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11th March 2016:
Hi, Kevin! Thank you for entry at Auror's tale story challenge.
Finally, Friday came! Reading time!
This chapter seems very speedy and the pace is yours as usual but the most impressive part is set in the latter half. I have the similar aspect like your insight about Harry. I tried to write about his lonely feeling in my stories in the past. I could understand why Ginny cried and the process how she figured it out is well written.
In the first paragraph, just my thought, I'd like to read the detailed description how Seamus worked for the remodeling Grimmauld Place. It must have had more creepy creatures there, so it will be more interesting to see how Seamus got rid of harmful magical pests out of the house.
Layering spell sounds interesting. I always enjoy the new magical creation by the authors here. I'll be back again.
p.s. (December 17, 2017)
I really love how Ginny cared Harry in the latter half. She has mother-love for Harry in her.
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4th March 2016:
Hi, Kevin! I just want to make sure. How many houses does Harry have right now? Potter hall and Grimmauld Place and where? Because I wondered which house he would give to Ron and Hermione.
The most annoying but interesting scene was the interview from the reporters including Rita Skeeter. We hate her but can't resist reading the articles she writes. She is one of characters who draw reader's attention.
It may be the first time to read "Starting Chaser", or "Starting Seeker". I can't wait to read how you write about the Quidditch match.
Ron and Hermione seem to develop their love as Harry and Ginny do. Happy moments. :)
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27th February 2016:
Wow, this chapter has a lot of developments. The most impressive thing is the relationship with Griphook Harry established. How did you think of the idea? Nice plot! It's a little complicated magical rule but it's very J.K. Rowling like style.
The description of the first scene is super. I could visualize how Harry acted in the Diagon Alley and inside the Quidditch Supplies shop. You captured his character very well.
I also like your creation, Potter's estate. It is possible that his parents had gone to hide from Voldemort. It's heartwarming to imagine that a baby Harry spent with his parents there.
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21st February 2016:
Hi, Kevin. Thank you for doing beta the other day!
I chuckled at Hermione who can't decide which she will bring for her work. Ron is a good boyfriend, he knows her very well.
I enjoyed the scene when Harry was taught by his team mates how to adjust his body to the quidditch training. May I request you to add more descriptions about the training? I'm eager to read how the training went after reading "Oliver Wood wasn't the first...".
You hinted that Harry and Ginny would not be able to see each other due to team schedule, so I still expect the twists and turns in the future. I'll be back again. :)
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13th February 2016:
I'm amazed by your interesting ideas like George's magical cells or Seamus Finnegan's magical rebuilding skills.
Reading Finnegan's work, I remembered the buildings in Dublin City, they were not so tall, but all were lovely. So I imagined his building skills must have turned to be like the ones of Dublin.
You wrote their farewell, Ginny and Harry due to their Quidditch schedules. I expect from there, they will develop another relationship each other. I guess they may be distracted by the other people or something? The title, 'Seeking Love, Keeping Hope' implies twists and turns? You know, some of readers here prefer such a kind of story. Just my suggestion. :)
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5th February 2016:
Hi, Kevin! I came back. Oh, you finally ... wrote the scene. Honestly, I enjoyed it. Well, feedback.
Not a few authors wrote their steamy scenes here and there, but yours is not unpleasant at all. I even felt it refreshed. Ha ha ha, the magic spell is handy in that case. Hmm, I wondered who taught them the spell. Ginny might be taught by her mother, but who taught Harry? George?
Ha! Arthur knew their relationship. I agree with the plot he has the sense as well as his ability to make magical product using the Muggle's tool. A battery-powered nose trimmer! Sounds funny.
The best spot of this chapter, I'd like to say the scene where Harry remembered Dobby. You imagined how Harry would react to Kreacher's words and described each movement very well. I could imagine how Harry was sad at remembering his lost friend. How could Kreacher know Dobby's last words?
One more favorite thing is you let Seamus enter! I like the idea! I expect you'll have more Irish things later.
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24th January 2016:
Hi! I came back again. I felt yours is similar to mine, I mean the scene at Grimmauld Place. I also had Bill enter as a curse-breaker and let him work there to help Harry. But your original idea that Kreacher helped him, it's better than mine. I enjoyed it.
The scene with Rita Skeeter, you captured her characteristic and wrote each conversation very well. I like it.
You put the party scene with Wendy and the trio plus Ginny in the middle. Ginny let music of Weird Sisters on air, I like the idea!
The latter half of this chapter, you wrote about Harry's fortune and you spared the space for the description how he would use that, I felt like I was reading a kind of story that American dream comes true.
I'll come back again. :) (I've known you've been posting your story here. I'll come back when I can find time. Dec. 17 2017)
Can I just say that I love what you've done in this first chapter? When I first read the books, I just accepted Harry's pursuit of an auror career without giving much thought to any other options. Even now, I can see him as one and imagine he'd be quite good at it. Yet I think that becoming a professional Quidditch player would be good for him mentally and emotionally. You know, this boy spent his entire formative years chasing after the bad guy, having Voldemort's actions and his own legacy weigh down on him. Quidditch was something he was good at that didn't come with baggage. So having professional teams offer him a place and having him be really torn about it is something I was really happy to see. I think my boy needs a proper shot at a happier career after what he's been through.
I like what you've mentioned about the emotional trauma the characters went through and how that it was hard to get past for the characters. The foresight of Madame Pomfrey and Shacklebolt was also a really nice and thoughtful touch. I would personally like to see more of the after-effects in this/future chapters because something as huge as the war is something that stays with you, I think. That being said, I really love how the chapter ends. It's really quite sweet and I'm just glad that Harry has a proper family and realises it.
Hey Plums!! Glad to see ya'!! Thanks for the review!!
I also believe Harry needs a fair shake. That's why I wrote this story (and sequel). I felt there was something missing in his life and decided to take on the challenge of writing about it.
I'll try to get more chapters posted ASAP on this site. If you really need a fix, all chapters and the sequel are on "the old site".
Again, thanks for dropping by and reviewing. Feel free to continue as I post new chapters!!!
Hi Kevin! I don't know if you recognise me from the Gryffindor CR, but I've been meaning to stop by and read some of your work for a while, and now seemed a good time!
You know, apart from the first month or so that I first starting reading fanfiction, I haven't tended to read that many stories focusing on Harry himself, but I really enjoyed reading about him here. To me he always seems like such a hard character to capture, particularly when we know him so well from the books (which is also part of the reason that I run away scared any time I think of writing him :P), but I was impressed by your characterisation of him in this chapter.
I liked the way that you managed to show some of the different aspects of Harry's character in this chapter, and you didn't just focus on one thing. We get to see his love of family, his sense of duty and responsibility warring with his passion for playing Quidditch, his modesty and the drive to do something because he's good at it, rather than because his name is famous. I thought you balanced out those different personality traits very well throughout the chapter.
The opening was really interesting, and I think it led into the start of your novel well, since it immediately had me asking questions and wondering whether Harry was going to take the role as a Quidditch player or go with Auror training, which he's always focused on. I'm actually kind of glad that he chose to go into Quidditch, because I definitely think that he deserves the chance to do something he enjoys when he's given up most of his childhood to fighting dark magic and saving the wizarding world.
Just as a little CC - I spotted a few Americanisms in this chapter - I'm not sure if you're bothered about them but "mom" instead of "mum" is probably the one which stood out most to me.
I thought you did a good job of characterising the other characters here as well, which is tough since there are so many major characters in the one chapter, but I thought you captured their dialogue really well in particular. The moment when Ginny hesitated over Fred's name was really effective, and you captured Harry and Ginny's relationship really well, showing how it had progressed from what we see in the books. I enjoyed this chapter!
Of course I remember you! I must apologize for taking so long to respond...I have been so darned busy with RL and work!
Thanks for taking the time to review!!!!!
I agree...Harry and, frankly, all of the main characters are quite daunting to write for the exact reason you mentioned; we know them so well from the books. But, I felt there was something missing in Harry's life that needed exploring. So, I took on the challenge. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter! Strangely, this story was supposed to have 2-3 chapters of back story and then get to the main storyline. However, the Muses had other ideas and the main story line doesn't appear until the last chapter...36, if I remember correctly! So, if you need a fix, they are all posted on "the old site", including the sequel. I will attempt to get more of the chapters posted on this site, ASAP.
As for the "Americanisms"...thanks for catching them. I think I improved as I went (thanks to a few Brit Slang sites), but I plan to get back and edit the first chapters and correct those mistakes.
Again, thanks for the review...you know how we writers love them!! Feel free to send more as I post chapters!!