Hi! Transferred from HPFF
Hi! I stopped by from twitter review swap! I've already read from chapter 1 to 7 for Gryffindor Golden Paw Nominations, I voted this for "Most Addicting Story". Because each chapter has musical quotes at Marauder's era, it's just cool, I remembered you twittered on the forums about Marauders music before. Well done! Each characteristic in both Gryffindors and Slytherins is fabulous. The description about the three of Marauders who helped Lupin with his study, is well written, too.
The musical quote of this chapter is about "pass the test", so I guess it implys Lily's predicament at Potions class without Snape's help, too.
Two more impressive descriptions about two Slytherins, Slughorn and Snape from Lily's POV.:
She liked Slughorn, always fair, always decent, always kind to her. But it hadn’t escaped her notice that no invitations to the Slug Club had been issued this year, or that she saw him more out and about in the school than ever before, as if he were avoiding his own House. Slytherin had become a petri dish to breed You-Know-Who’s followers like bacteria, and even her favourite teacher at Hogwarts preferred to ignore it than do anything.
Lily looked to Severus, partnered now with Shanti Dhawan. He was ignoring his new partner, nose too close to his cauldron, and she felt the old urge to tell him off before he got burnt. He looked as unperturbed as ever, cool in the face of a challenge, calm and focused.
I started reading the next chapter. I'll be back again.
Hi, I stopped by to make sure Lily is okay with her school life. It’s exciting to read how Emmeline Vance helped Lily to get out of Carrow’s and Yaxley’s curse. She’s Slytherin, and her tactic is difficult to be noticed as a typical heroic one, but Lily was wise enough to understand Emmeline’s intention and thanked her. You set a good preparation for Vance’s future career as a member of the Order.
The next happening, uneasy, heart-pounding thrilling scene between Saul Avery and Fletch. Hmm, in the library students had such a drama behind the book shelves… then what a timing, Sirius Black entered offering her a cigarette. “Spiv”, the new word I learned today. I could visualize how they talked like a film from these dialogues.
You cut out Quidditch as a big event from Ravenclaws students’ POV, I enjoyed their diplomatic games.
I really like your idea that James and Sirius tried to help younger students to learn defensive spells instead of busy Dumbledore or McGonagall. You also captured James’ s and Sirius’s characteristics around the girls very well.