Reviews For Bruises


Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 10 Dec 2017 03:25 AM · For: Terror

Before I properly start the review, I just want to say that you wrote this so, so powerfully. I know this because (and I swear I'm not exaggerating) I had to stop maybe five or six times throughout the story because the turmoil of emotions and the sympathetic pain I got in my hands and feet were overwhelming. I want to clarify that that's a good thing; writers that can make me feel the characters' emotions and pain to this degree are incredible.

 

This is probably somewhat unrelated, but you know what reading this whole piece eerily reminded me of? Conversion therapy. It's not a perfect analogy, because Caroline's witchcraft did have the power to hurt people (though only when she was provoked), and being gay is just. not harmful to anyone at all. But the confusion, the fear, the mental damage, and the trauma from abuse that was in this story could easily be representative of what conversion therapy victims went through, based on their stories. (Not to mention this "fear of the unknown" that's at play here is similar to the homophobic prejudice present in many parents.) This is just my interpretation, though! /spiel over

 

I felt this uneasiness in my gut when Caroline's parents are introduced, which gave me my first concrete suspicion on who exactly was behind all of this. Before their introduction, I was feeling scared for Caroline, that her actions would result in her getting punished further. Because she clearly wasn't tied up for her own mental health; her condition was the result of something. But I just didn't know what. I think you walked the line between handing out vital pieces of information and keeping the readers out of the loop beautifully.

 

Even with my uneasiness, though, I still wasn't sure if her parents actually had a hand in it, just because of the sad, tentative way they were acting. Argh, I can't get over how you sparsed out the exposition across the entire story, so that even toward the end, the readers aren't one hundred percent sure of what's going on. The plotting and timing of everything was so well done. I thought the pacing was excellent as well; at no point in the story did I even daydream ahead. No, I was fixated upon each and every word that was directly in front of me at the time.

 

When it was time for Caroline to go home, all I knew was that I most certainly did not want her to go home. I didn't exactly want her to remain locked up, either, but her uneasiness combined with my uneasiness made for one potent feeling of uneasiness, and so I had a really bad feeling about her going home. (This made me feel so many emotions aksdjl. I'm not used to feeling so many emotions in one sitting.)

 

Meeting Sarah in the story was a joy. It was such a relief to find a character that without doubt loved Caroline unconditionally. Caroline's parents certainly didn't, considering how they didn't love her until she wasn't herself anymore. Anyway, I felt the tenseness in my body disappear as soon as Sarah started talking...but that didn't last. As Sarah began explaining the horrifying, disgusting details of what exactly Caroline's father did to her, I felt more nauseous right along with them.

 

I was thankful to see that you included Caroline's rediscovery of her magic. Without it, a part of her was missing, and I didn't want to think that her father had won completely. (Though I know many abuse victims aren't so lucky.)

 

At the end of the story, even though these characters aren't real, I found myself praying that they would be okay, and that Caroline and Sarah didn't have to live all their lives in fear of their parents. Judging from Caroline's powerful statement at the end, though, the girls would most likely be okay. And I felt so many jarring feelings throughout all of this that my brain is worn out now, haha.

 

I just want to sum this up with: you are amazing. I was literally in awe the whole entire time I was reading this masterpiece. If you couldn't tell from my rambling review, this story did a lot to me (understatement of the century), and I thought your abuse references were handled extremely well. Reading this was such a pleasure. Thank you so so much for writing it. <3



Author's Response:

Hey there! Thank you so much for the review! It truly made my day! I wish I could write you a longer response, but I've gotten so bogged down in review responses lately. I hope you know how much your words mean to me and how much I appreciate your support, encouragement, and critique. Thank you!

~Kaitlin

 



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 10 Dec 2017 12:46 AM · For: Terror

Wowwwwwwwwwww okay I'm so glad you suggested this one because it's one that really makes me think and I love that in a story. I've never seen a story quite like this before.

 

I love that you started in a place where the narrator is just as disoriented as the reader - it just starts right in the middle of things and I don't know why she's there or being restrained, what happened to her, or anything, so its like I learn as she does and more pieces of the puzzle start to fall together, which is pretty cool.

 

The Day 3 section as she listens outside the door was when I realized that she had magical abilities, and that her parents were Muggles and like, what if Muggle parents of a Muggle-born witch/wizard brought their kid to a facility like this before learning the truth? and like any kid who isn't 11 yet, they'd just have no idea, and no one would know to intervene yet? what a terrifying thought. and once I had all these thoughts I was literally glued to the story for the rest of it to see what you'd do with the idea.

 

The revelation that the parents knew it was witchcraft and all the lenghts they went to to stamp it out of her makes me really sad. And it's such a contrast from the first scene the parents were in, crying outside the door and missing their daughter and with no background I felt really bad for them at that point. Then on learning the truth, I feel no sympathy for the parents as they were trying to change who Caroline is because she doesn't fit their mold. Their intolerance of her abilities and how they insist they will disown her, it's so sad :(

 

And then Sarah at the end - I love that she was the reason Caroline was able to remember some of her own magic, but I worry about Sarah being in that house and soemthing happening to her if the parents find out that she can do magic. I hope the sisters are able to take care of each other because the consequences are awful - that's so scary. Or hopefully a kinder and less bigoted relative will take them in, that's an even better option.

 

This was a great story, Kaitlin. It really made me thing and it was brilliantly written from start to finish.



Author's Response:

Hey there! Thank you so much for the review! It truly made my day! I wish I could write you a longer response, but I've gotten so bogged down in review responses lately. I hope you know how much your words mean to me and how much I appreciate your support, encouragement, and critique. Thank you!

~Kaitlin

 



Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 05 Dec 2017 01:09 PM · For: Terror

Wow, this was really intense!

 

At the beginning, with no context for what was happening, I thought she had been kidnapped ina  not-by-a-doctor way. Though that wasn’t accurate, it was a good analogue for how she felt. But once I knew she was in a hospital, it took me a while to trust her. For all I knew at that point, there could be a super legit reason why this was happening.

 

I liked how you kept information from the reader, so that they figured things out as the MC did. Well, at least they got all the same information when she did - she seemed a bit slow on the pickup sometimes.

 

When we first see (/hear) her parents, they seem very sympathetic, and that’s something that you successfully shift nie and gradually over the course of the story.

 

I assumed the main character was an adult, and it wasn’t until she returned to her parent’s house that I had reason to think otherwise, but given the context I’m still not certain.

 

I really liked the line “frozen liquid stopping my blood from boiling within me”  excellent contrast!

 

That was a good twist, with her sister getting powers! That definitely made me want to keep reading, to be able to see these two young women learn/relearn their powers and get free of their parents.

 

Curse you, photobucket! I would’ve loved to see the banner that inspired this

 

Great job with this!

 

Sam.



Author's Response:

Hey Sam! Thank you for this lovely review. I appreciate all of your reactions and insights. I'll make sure to get the banner fixed up ASAP.

~Kaitlin



You must login (register) to review.