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Reviews For After Destiny

Name: Aastha (Anonymous) · Date: 17 Mar 2019 03:05 PM · [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: A Dangerous Proposition
thanks for the update!
Just read the chapter, it was amazing, loved seeing Luna and Neville, it was interesting seeing a vampire, not many stories go there.
Also when are you planning on updating next?


Name: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: 09 Mar 2019 02:10 AM · [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: The Seventh Horcrux Part 2

Really good story thus far! For what it is worth in the books it was actually Harry's idea to get on the dragon. It was in the movie that it was Hermione's decision.



Author's Response:

Hi! I'm glad you're enjoying it. That's a good point. I'll need to edit that at some point.

 

Thanks for reading and leaving a comment!



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 06 Mar 2019 09:12 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: A Dangerous Proposition

Hey Dan!

 

So I saw that you posted a new chapter and I think you already know that I absolutely love this story, so I had to drop by and leave a review. (Also, since it's a new month...Gryffindor Red vs Gold Review Battle - March 2019 - Team Red) Definitely one of my favorite pieces of fanfic out there.

 

I had a good chuckle over Ginny and Harry discussing seeing the woman's chest. Harry is a quick learner, never tell your girlfriend how hot the boobies were.

 

I also had a good laugh over both Harry and Ginny's piss poor knowledge of geography. Dubai in China? Huh?

 

Ginny's assessment of the Dursley's is spot on. I am glad to see that Harry isn't all cut up over his non-existent relationship with them. It's sad that after everything he's been through, they can't even come around a little bit, but I never really expected them to. I do head canon that later in life when Dudley and Harry each have kids that they maintain a semi-amicable relationship and occasionally get the kids together.

 

Man, Harry is getting complacent if he is getting his wand jacked while walking down the street.

 

Ginny is perfect. Gryffindor through and through. Not a complete idiot, but willing to walk into danger to protect the person she loves knowing that it's quite possible she could get hurt.

 

That club is creepy. I'm not sure what to think. I do agree that if anyone had wanted to hurt Harry, they could've done so several times by now, but that doesn't mean they aren't eventually planning him harm. Maybe it's some kidnapping plan in which they intend to ransom him or use him to manipulate the ministry. My first thought was that they might want him in a vulnerable position to try and Imperio him. A Harry under control is much more useful than a dead Harry.

 

Oláh is an interesting character. It seems that his desires are fairly straight forward. He senses the backlash coming towards dark creatures and he wants to make sure he's protected. I'd say it's pretty reasonable for Harry to help in that regard. And he's giving up Umbridge to do it? Definitely worth it. I think he's definitely keeping some things to himself, but that's to be expected. No one shows all their cards at once.

 

The bit about the dementors was super interesting. I can see why no one would trust them, but also, is it really okay to roundup an entire magical species?

 

The chat between Neville and Harry at the end was good. I think a lot of things that were said really needed to be said. I know Harry talks to Ginny, but the dynamic between him and Neville is so different and I think really necessary for both of them. I'm glad that Neville was also able to give Harry some insight into what happened to Ginny, even if neither of them completely know what happened.

 

I'm looking forward to the next chapters on this! I hope you'll be posting soon...and I hope one of those upcoming chapters will have lots of Ron and Hermione. I also hope that Luna and Neville will continue to show up as I'm enjoying seeing their story progress.

 

Great work as always!

 

~Kaitlin




Author's Response:

Hi, Kaitlin! Nice to have you back.

Harry is a quick study, isn't he? I'd love if it were as simple as him being good at reading other people's feelings and that's where it ended, but there is a less happy side to the picture. Harry is still in a place where he's desperate for approval due to his horrid childhood. At times, you'll see a darker side to this.

Speaking of Harry's horrid childhood, we come around to the Dursleys. I only suggest that you keep in mind that you're getting Harry's version of how he expects things to be between him and his relatives. And as we learned over the course of seven books, Harry is not always what you'd call a reliable narrator. You might yet get a glimpse of the Dursleys...

Ginny is getting a crash course in what it's like to be close to Harry. If he had been with Ron and Hermione, I doubt they even would have tried to talk him out of going into the club. There's no point. As you see, though, Ginny is not immune to the adrenaline rush of following Harry into a foolish, dangerous situation. As you said, Gryffindor through and through.

You probably haven't seen the last of Oláh. I honestly haven't decided. I like the concept of him and I like some potential plot lines he opens up, but I found him really difficult to write in a non–cliched way.

You will indeed be seeing a lot of Ron and Hermione. Their time in Australia will be eventful, to say the least.

Thanks for reading and thank you for the awesome reviews!



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 05 Mar 2019 09:55 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: The Beginning After the End

Hello, Dan! Here for our swap! :)

I was convinced I'd already read a few chapters of this story, but apparently I didn't... oh, well, I'm starting now...

And wow, this was a pretty intense first chapter! I don't frequently read stories that deal with the aftermath of the war, but I love what you've done here. Harry's emotions right after the battle are so real and so well written... the physical and mental exhaustion, the grief, the guilt... it's all just so good (and with good I mean heartbreaking).

I wish Harry didn't blame himself the way he does. I mean, I do understand where he's coming from, but he did everything he could at the best of his possibility and much beyond that... but of course logic doesn't apply when you are dealing with grief, and too much has happened to Harry only in the last few hours... he still need to process it all, and of course it's going to take a while. But at least I know Hermione is right when she says that it will be okay eventually. Time does heal. Not completely. But it does.

The bit when they overheard the Patil twins... that was so terribly sad! Lavender has never been my most favourite character, but the way she died is just so terrible and horrifying... so, so sad!

Kreacher... that was such a sweet moment! Harry expressing his gratitude was touching, and Kreacher's reaction was so precious (I love house elves :P) It made me so sad, though, how Harry was immediately reminded of Dobby and what happened to him... I had almost managed to forget that bit, and you had to go and remind me... that's nasty, you know?

There's so much more I probably should mention... this was such a rollercoaster of emotion and every single bit was so poignant... but I'm afraid my mind, too, is too exhausted now... Anyway, I loved this, such brilliant writing, so well done!

Thank you so much for the swap! Hopefully I'll get a chance to come back here soon!

Lots of love,

Chiara



Name: Aphoride (Signed) · Date: 23 Feb 2019 04:52 PM · [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Lies Layered Upon Lies

Hey Dan! Dropping by for our review swap! :) 

 

This is one of those stories which I always see around every now and then and know I love, but it's heavy - it's not something I can just read in the middle of something, and it doesn't deserve that, yk? It needs to be read slowly and carefully, because it's a solemn, serious sort of story, with all of the heavy topics in it which you deal with so so well, and with the way the characters have to start recovering from everything which happened. Things like PTSD and trauma are hard and recovery from them is slow, and the way you write them: the suddenness of emotion affecting Hermione and Ginny and Harry and Ron - whether it's sadness or anger or what - is so true to people who are exhausted, emotionally and physically and mentally. They've been through so much, they're frayed at the edges, worn out completely, and I love how you portray that. 

 

You have a real, real talent for writing the Trio. I'm pretty sure I've said this before but you are just so so good at writing canon characters I wouldn't go near with a barge pole because I'm so scared of getting them wrong - and it's so easy to get them wrong, yk? But you do it perfectly. Harry's guilt complex - his 'saving people thing' and his survivor's guilt all in one - Ron's irrepressible humour, even in the worst of situations, Hermione's level-headedness and uncertainty about things she doesn't feel she's in control of, Ginny's short temper... even McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey were perfect, with the care that they both have for Harry, and the gratitude, showing through. 

 

I think my favourite bit in this chapter was the discussion at the end about what to do - who to tell what - about the Horcruxes and the Hallows. It's a good point - I never really thought about that tbh - because it'd be kinda stupid to go around telling everyone - power corrupts and all that - but Harry's point about lies on lies makes so much sense. There's been so much that Harry's had to keep secret or has been kept secret from him all his life - starting with the Dursleys - no wonder he's not totally comfortable with the idea, even if it is the most sensible thing to do. 

 

I love this story. I'm so excited to see where you take it next: what happens with Ginny and Harry when they next meet, how do things go with the rest of the Weasleys and with the very beginning of the rebuilding project. And how that conversation goes: with McGonagall and Kingsley. This is genuinely such a brilliantly perfect canon addition. 

 

Laura xx



Name: shadowkat678 (Signed) · Date: 16 Feb 2019 10:43 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Something to Feel

Hi, here for the second part of our swap!

 

Also, I forgot to write last review that I love your descriptions. So I'll say that right off. I love your descriptions! I also meant to comment on the injuries Harry had. Too often in fics people wave them away with a wave of a wand, and I liked that they're commented on.

 

This review probably won't be as long, especially considering all the parts of the last review that didn't cover specific instances apply here as well, so I won't have to repeat them. :P

 

He thought that he'd come to terms with losing Sirius. Thought that their encounter in the Forbidden Forest had finally given him closure and brought a sense of purpose to his godfather's death. As Harry fought back the tears, it was obvious that he was mistaken.

 

Merlin, that nightmare was hauntingly written. I do feel kinda sad his parents weren't listed. They were the first ones to die because of Harry, and I hope that gets brought up at some point because I think that's something that would strike him, especially after seeing them before heading out for Voldemort, like with Sirius.

 

Speaking of, oh my gosh that ending. I got chills. It was a great setup.

 

I like that you had them sleep for so long. They'd need it. I can only imagine how they got through the battle having not slept in over 48 hours. Last time I tried that I ended up putting pretzel bites in the frier instead of the over at work, and my coworkers STILL haven't let me live that down about a month later. And I didn't even have anything stressful going on then. 

 

The interaction with Ginny was so full of emotion and conflicted feelings, some of them not really rational but still very valid considering the circimstances. Also, as always, Harry is oblivious when it comes to romance. Someone please get that boy some help. It's almost painful to watch.

 

I think there were some highlights that really show that theme of emotional stunting again with that, though. Especially when he didn't even consider how anyone would react to him slipping off.

 

I love the reactive nature Ginny showed there. How much she'd been holding in that burst during that conversation. The part where they were comparing dangers was especially potent. All the heartache and pain. It's a wonder how no one woke up throught that. 

 

I'm wondering why the stairs didn't collapse, but guess it's good in the end it didn't. Also, I'm guessing the reference Ginny made was where that warning comes in. I wonder if Harry caught that at all, and how it's going to come up. I skipped the actual sex scene, because I'm not very good with reading those, but I read up to and after. I hope there's nothing important I missed.

 

 

I wonder how they're going to end up back together. There's so much tension and mixed feelings around it right now. Both of them have so much baggage they have to deal with. Oh, I just want them to be happy again. It doesn't go away just because you're in love, regardless of what some romances try and tell you, but having someone be there to talk to does, like he does with Hermione and Ron. But niether of his friends know what it's like to have such a close connection to Voldemort like Ginny does, and I think that's a pretty big connection for both of them.

 

Anyway, sorry again for being so late!

 

 



Author's Response:

Good morning! No worries on the timing.

First off, the sex scene isn't really make-or-break in terms of knowing what's going on. It's just another piece of a larger picture of where Ginny and Harry are at emotionally and psychologically. I think the picture holds together just fine whether you read it or not. They're both suffering from psychological trauma and they're physically and emotionally running on fumes. Definitely not a situation where anyone would want to be held accountable for the decisions they make, and I don't think that the decision they make in Ginny's dorm is a good one. They've gotten the cart far in front of the horse, if you will.

Harry's dream actually took longer to write than the rest of the chapter. It was a pain to get all of the little details right so that it reflected what I was seeing in my mind.

Sleep deprivation is a nasty thing. It messes with your head in many ways and greatly diminishes your capacity to function.

I wanted the scene with Harry and Ginny in the Common Room to be as raw as I could make it. I tried hard to dial back the atmospheric details and stick to the emotions. As you said, they've both been holding a lot inside in order to make it through. A lot of it comes out in that scene, and it ends up being a messy jumble of mismatched feelings.

In my mind, the enchantments on the stairs to the girls' dormitory suffered, as many of the castle's protective enchantments did, following Dumbledore's death and due to the massive amounts of dark magic expended during the war and the battle. McGonagall will get it all patched up, at least as soon as someone lets her know about it. ;)

They have a pretty long road in front of them, when it comes to mending their relationship. They both want it to happen, but they're also both very injured: physically, psychologically and emotionally. There's a lot of healing to be done. You picked up on an important connection that Ginny and Harry share. You will definitely be hearing more about it...

Thank you for the swap and thank you for the great review!



Name: shadowkat678 (Signed) · Date: 16 Feb 2019 10:14 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: The Beginning After the End

Hi, Dan! Really sorry for the wait. I feel really bad about it, but I'm really excited about this story. The writing is phenomenal!


 


First, I’m going to go into some overall impressions, and then I’m going to focus on some specific moments that really stuck out to me. However, I’ll probably have to limit those, because there were a lot! I was screenshotting lines every couple paragraphs as I reread this last night. I don’t do that often, so kudos.


 


As a disability and mental health advocate, I’m always in for more representation, especially well done representation. How you’re handling it here so far is amazing. I’m not sure if you have firsthand experience, but if not, it’s clear you put a lot of thought into your portrayal, which is something I appreciate. I love how you also don’t just focus on the horror of war, but also on the small joys used to distract from the trauma it brings.


 


Your characterization is so spot on. They felt like they did in the books, and you can already fell the depth of personality here. Most published writers I’ve read don’t do it this well. For some bits, I don’t even think J.K. Rowling did. It feels like you’re seeing real breathing and complex people, and I love it so much.


 


The writing is smooth and flows well. I wasn’t really looking for any spelling or grammar errors, but if there are any they were discreet enough for me not to be pulled out of the story by them. I’m also a big fan of how you started with something right from the books.


 


Now for specific parts!


 


“In a quiet moment of aching, numbing exhaustion, Harry Potter realized that the struggle which had defined his entire life was over.”


 


This was such a great thing to focus on. Ever since he was told about the prophecy, Harry has had the weight of the entire world on his shoulders. He was just a kid, but he hardly looked past what he would do after Voldemort and the Death Eaters were defeated. Being the Chosen One was the first thing most of the Wizarding World saw about him. They didn’t see the boy who loved Quidditch. They didn’t see the kid who would do anything to keep his friends safe. They didn’t see the isolation he’d endured for so many years. They never saw him as a boy. That in itself is just so tragic. He’s happy about it, but at the same time is the question: “What next?” And even being happy about being alive, there were so many they lost, but for the moment he tries to push it back, even if it still stays at the edge of his thoughts.


I also enjoy the lighter hearted moment after this realization, even if it was short lived. The moment with the Patil twins brought back the tension in a very potent way. It’s the first look of characters outside the trio in the story, delivering bad news the three friends didn’t even know about, and it brings Harry’s pondering about those who died right back to the surface. The way they supported Hermione was touching. I think I remember from the books that the two girls weren’t too close, but it’s still a hard blow to take.


 


“You aren’t,” Ron replied firmly. His tone of voice took Harry by surprise. The wasn’t a hint of reservation or self-doubt. “We’re staying together. None of us need to be alone right now.”


 


(I did find a typo here. I think you meant There instead of The.)


 


I like the way that Ron didn’t say Hermione didn’t need to be alone, but none of them did. They’d been together a whole year on the run, finally completing what they set out for, and they’d stayed together in close quarters the entire time (minus when Ron left for a bit). It makes me think of stories of survivors that end up grouping together, and stories of how they panic when they have to split up, even for sleeping in separate rooms like here. Being around each other was their only constant.


 


“Everything looks... smaller,” Ron mumbled. “Was the room always this small?”


 


“Something’s off,” Harry nodded in agreement. He was relieved that he wasn’t the only one who’d noticed.


 


As always, the epiphany hit Hermione first. “It’s...” She squinted, sizing everything up through tired, swollen eyes. “It’s exactly the same. We’re what’s different.”


 


Standing in almost the same spot, weary to the point of collapse after surviving the fight of his life, it dawned on Harry that his first impression hadn’t been so far from correct. This place -- this warm, wonderful, comfortable, welcoming, safe place -- was an illusion. A magical fantasy created by adults where children didn’t need to confront the harsh truths of life. A place where losing house points or Quidditch matches or having to write twelve inches of parchment on goblin rebellions were the worst things that could ever happen to you. Harry knew better now. The magical fantasy was over.


 


 


Another very potent moment is their entry into the Common Room. I know I’ve had moments like this, and they can be very jarring. They’ve all grown and seen so much more than they knew as children, and now they have to struggle with what all that means. How do you cope with that? Everything you knew, everything you were told and help true for so long, turns out to be different from the reality. It’s almost like entering a slightly different dimension parallel to your previous, where everything is only just a bit different, but you can’t help but notice. It’s there and you can’t block it out that epiphany. The way the clothing was just a bit too small for each of them, especially Harry and Ron, shows a physical element to this as well.


 


The shower scene was a mix of humor and also a serious view into the more invisible scars Harry has gotten. The way it starts out so innocent, and then shifts and pulls him in was done very well. Even after he’s shaken out of it by his friends, Harry refuses to go to Madam Pomfrey. It’s understandable how he’s feeling, and I love how well you get it to come across. I think even those who haven’t gone through traumatic ordeals can have a glimpse into what people who have go through with this. There’s a reason people don’t always immediately seek help. A lot of times it can feel almost invasive, and I wonder if he’ll experience any of that.


 


The part with Kreatcher really shows the character development from both the Golden Trio and the elf. I don’t think Harry would have ever thought to ask him any of that even a few months before, and Kreacher wouldn’t have dreamed to reveal his feelings in front of Harry. Harry, for all his strengths and all his love of people, has had an issue with empathy is some forms in the book. He has trouble a lot of times seeing from the view of someone he doesn’t like. Of course, part of this has to do with being a kid, but it didn’t help growing up as he did, which probably stunted a lot of his emotional development. I think seeing the horror of war really opened him up in that area.


 


I love how you’ve written Ron and how much he cares for his friends. Too often people write Ron more like how he was in the movie, but this portrayal shows the best of his traits. His humor. His thoughtfulness. His love of his friends.


 


Hermione very much comes through as the tough but caring sister role. She doesn’t let Harry off the hook, and calls him on how he’s treating himself. She watches out for him in a way that doesn’t hint at any romantic feelings like how they showed in the movie with such scenes. I’m here for it.


 


Overall the entire chapter was fantastic, and this still ended up as a huge review. Somewhere over 1300 words if Microsoft is to be believed. I may have gotten a bit carried away.


 


Well, I’m off for the next chapter. Sorry again for being late!



Author's Response:

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Hi, Kat!

 

I don't have any firsthand experience with survivors of armed conflict, so I'm really pleased that you feel like I'm portraying the symptoms well. One of the things I dislike most in the majority of post-war fics is the very black-and-white way the consequences are presented. In some stories, everyone wakes up the next day and everything is sunshine and roses ever after. In others, the characters can't seem to show an ounce of joy. I like to think the true outcome was more of a mix.

 

I'm very, very pleased that you like the characterization. There is no higher praise than to say they read like the actual books.

 

One of the things I'm planning to focus on a lot is Harry seeking a new purpose in life. He's been "The Boy Who Lived" since he turned 11 years old and "The Chosen One" since Dumbledore finally revealed the prophecy to him. It makes sense to me that he would suffer from feelings of having no direction once his great purpose was fulfilled.

 

Another big goal of mine is, for lack of a better way to put this, not allowing Ron to turn into "Idiot Boy Fan Fic Ron". I hate reading that characterization. I blame the movies for a lot of it.

 

I really hope to be able to do a lot with Kreacher's character in this story. House Elves are so under-appreciated. They're capable of so much and they actually seem quite complex to me.

 

Thank you so much for the long, detailed and thoughtful review!

 

-Dan



Name: MegGonagall (Signed) · Date: 16 Feb 2019 01:01 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: The Beginning After the End

Hey Dan! Here for our swap. 

 

Wow. I mean, just wow. This was such an amazing chapter. It legit felt like it could have been directly from the books, right where that part you quoted in the beginning left off. This was just so amazingly well done, and so true to each of their characters. I struggle SO much trying to write Harry, and you have it done flawlessly here. I meant to just read a little, and go take care of some things (minor adulting), but I couldn’t stop reading. I was immediately sucked in. Just, amazing. 

 

This chapter quickly became really heavy. But I appreciated the light moment in the beginning. With Hermione giggling, saying how much they all smelled hahaha. Yeah, I imagine they had to have smelled awful. Not only from the last two days of their lives, but from the months on the run overall. I’m sure there was only so much that spells could accomplish. Nothing beats an actual warm shower with soap and water. But that part was cute, that after everything that happened, they just had that small moment of laughing and not thinking about the deaths, or any of the other horribleness that happened. 

 

That was pretty heartbreaking with the twins, talking about Lavender. I know it isn’t specifically stated if she survived or not, but I always headcanoned that she died, too. It just seemed like Greyback’s attack was too bad to come back from. And I loved that the password was the lightning scar. 

 

Ron was great in this chapter. He was the Ron from the books, not the fool they made him to be in the movies. And you wrote him in a way that was true to his book character, yet also you saw the maturity in him. He was 100% Ron post coming back to them in the woods. You just did beautifully with him. Him making sure Hermione went to clean up first, then Harry. Putting the others before him. Seriously, I loved him here. 

 

I also really appreciate the way you’ve written Harry and Hermione’s bond. I never, ever, ever saw them as romantically compatible. I always saw the brother/sister bond that they had. And it was written to a T here. The way that Hermione just KNOWS when it comes to Harry. And how Hermione was always the solid foundation for Harry’s life. Their friendship is one of my favorites in the entire world, and you’ve done it so much justice. 

 

Okay, can we just talk about that part with Kreacher. Dan. I cried. Real, actual tears, falling from my face. My god, that, for whatever reason, hit me the hardest out of everything in this chapter. I know that Kreacher wasn’t always the easiest for them to be around, but that character’s complete 180 is one of my favorite character developments of the entire series. I mean, my cat’s name is Kreacher. I adore him. And showing the gratitude that Harry felt for him, and the respect that Kreacher now has for Harry, and that whole moment between them. Tears. Lots of them. *wails* 

 

I think it’s only natural for Harry to blame himself for those deaths. I think most people would, if they were in his shoes. Not saying any of them were his fault, but most people would feel like they were. Plus, that is 10000% true to Harry’s character. I’m glad Ron and Hermione forced him to eat, though. And called him out on how he was feeling. However, they could tell him a million times that none of the deaths were his fault, but it’ll take him finally realizing it for him to no longer feel guilt. 

 

Again, Ron. God, I just want to hug him. He’s putting aside his own grief to make sure he’s there for Hermione and Harry. Putting aside grief about the death of his own brother. Just to make sure he’s there for Hermione and Harry. We don’t deserve Ron Weasley. 

 

This was insanely incredible, Dan. Like, I know you’re an exceptionally great writer. I’ve known this for years now. But, that never stops me from being blown away each time I read something written by you. The raw talent you have is incomparable. You have such a gift, and it’s always such a pleasure to read your work. Thank you for doing the swap with me. I’m sorry it took forever. But sadly, I’ve been tied up this week with my family. Let’s do another one soon, when things slow back down for me a bit. 

 

Sending love and hugs, 

Meg 



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2018 01:42 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Insecurities

Hey Dan!

 

I'm back for one final Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review battle for December 2018 review!

 

Ginny is pissed again, but this time rightfully so. Ron and Hermione must've had her terrified not knowing if Harry was okay or not. And then to be stuck there for an hour waiting, not knowing what was going on. It must've been awful for her.

 

I thought the Auror thing was going to be a huge source of tension for her, but I was surprised that she was actually considerate about it. I like that she realizes she can't force Harry to choose her over a job without there being some resentment. It is a surprisingly mature decision for her to take time to think on the Auror bit.

 

Poor Ron is uncomfortable on the plane. Middle seats are a curse worse than extended torture. Poor baby had no idea what he was getting into when he tried to get Hermione to take the window seat. Sweet innocent soul. I do think it's a bit sad that he thinks for Hermione to love him that he can't do anything that makes him who he is. I know he cares about her and wants to support her, but pretending to be something he's not is excessive and only setting himself up for failure.

 

Aww. This last bit about Luna and Neville was depressing. It seems like Luna is usually immune to being down, but I suppose her dads tenuous condition and the ruins of her home are even too much for her. Neville is so sweet wanting to make it all better. I loved the little bit where she pulled away and told him he was repeating himself, but that it felt good.

 

My heart breaks a bit to think of them leaving Luna's home to head to the Burrow only to find the Burrow in ruins as well. I hope that maybe they send a message to Harry and end up at Grimmuald Place. It's the perfect spot for them for now.

 

Well, I'm sad to say that this is the last chapter you have posted so far, so you know what that means? You need to write more, preferably sooner than later. I'd really like to know what happens next. K, thanks. Bye for now!

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2018 12:33 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Short Goodbyes

Hey Dan!

 

I'm back for another Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review Battle for December 2018.

 

I think it's sad that Ron is telling his mum goodbye and she can't even hear him. I suppose it's the thought that counts though. And to be honest, I think it's for the best. I think Molly would go spare if she knew Ron and Hermione were going to take off on their own. She still thinks of them as children (and she isn't necessarily wrong) even though they've all been through hell and back.

 

Harry is so frustratingly stubborn. If he hadn't wasted all that time arguing with Proudfoot, they'd have been safely at Grimmuald Place and would've probably avoided the showdown at St. Mungo's. He's so proud and he doesn't want to have handlers, but sometimes he needs to realize there are reasons that people have been set in place to protect him.

 

That being said, the way Harry sussed out the imposter minister was very clever. He picked up right away that Proudfoot and the hit wizards were on edge. The way he calmly asked after Doge and reversed Doge's position was smart. Of course, real Kingsley would've corrected him, but the imposter wouldn't have known any better.

 

The battle was pretty vicious. It's a shame that Proudfoot got tortured and injured, but I'm glad everyone survived. Well...except for the false Hit Wizard, but who cares about him really?

 

Harry is so cute telling Ron and Hermione to get going. He's right though. If they don't leave immediately they'll never be allowed to go. I thought it was sweet that Ron wanted to give Harry a man hug. I'm sure it's super weird for them to be apart after all the time they've spent together. They truly are a bromance.

 

I liked Kingsley's rational about Harry's safety quite a bit. Problems definitely seem to follow him, so having more experience with dueling and safety measures would certainly be beneficial. It was pretty funny that Proudfoot was so put off by the whole thing.  I suppose she doesn't want the extra hassle to deal with.

 

Oh dear. I do not like Augusta one bit at all in this chapter. Luna may be Xenophelius' daughter, but she is nothing like him...and even if she was, that's no way for Augusta to behave. I get that Luna is a bit strange and that Neville behaves different around her, but Augusta was way out of line to talk about her the way she did. I don't get it. This seems very out of character for her.

 

 I feel like Robards will inevitable come around to his senses.

 

Another good chapter! So much happened in this one. On to the last one now I believe.

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2018 10:07 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Small Accomplishments

Hey Dan!

 

I'm back for another Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review Battle for December 2018.

 

And here goes the sad stuff again. I'm glad that George came out and talked to Bill even if it was only a little bit. It's small, but it's progress. I just wish George didn't feel like he was such a burden. He isn't. All of the Weasley's would do anything to help him through his grieving. And like Bill said, he'd have done the same for any of them. I suppose if anyone's going to suffer from survivor's guilt though, it would be one twin who survived when the other one died.

 

I had a good giggle over Bill's comments about Fleur's cousin and her packaging methods. At least it got a slight reaction from George. It was a nice effort on Bill's part.

 

I'm glad that Harry is talking to Fleamont and Euphemia. He needs all the guidance, love, and support he can get. They might be portraits, but it's the closest thing he's ever had to biological family.

 

You know, Ginny really has an issue with hitting people. This is what the third time she's slapped Harry? She's also slapped Bill. I get that she's angry and upset, but it's really not okay to just hit people. Eventually Harry is going to tire of it.

 

That being said, she really has a point when she's going off about Dumbledore. I mean he expected three underqualified underage wizards to manage to just fumble through stuff that most adults couldn't even comprehend. But sometimes I do wonder if that was part of it. Like did Dumbledore pick children because they have more flexible imaginations? Perhaps, if he'd sent Kingsley or Minerva or really any other adult, their minds would've been to rigid and set to think outside of the box. Am I grasping at straws here?

 

You know, I'm convinced that Ginny is overblowing what her father and brothers might say about her staying at Grimmuald Place. I mean, she's been there for a fair bit already and I don't think it's exactly any secret that she's dating Harry. I don't think it would necessarily be the ideal situation for any of them, but I think everyone has more pressing concerns at the moment.

 

I know Harry feels a bit off about Proudfoot, but I actually like her. She's to the point and quite insightful.

 

I'm dying over the way Wilkie Twycross dressed Hermione down. Ha. He called her an overachiever. The fact that Harry, Ron, and even Proudfoot were stifling laughter was something I've been dying to read. I love Hermione. I love that she's so smart and detail oriented, but she can also be way too focused on the rules and overachieving. Maybe this will remind her to take it easy once in a while.

 

This is very intriguing that Harry was left an amended will. I wonder what it contains. I swear if there's anything in there that's to set him off on another adventure to kill some evil wizard, I will raise Dumbledore from the dead and kill him myself. Really what should be in there is some plane tickets to a tropical island and a good bottle of firewhiskey. Dumbledore owes him that much.

 

I'm glad that Ron finally told Mr. Weasley that he's going to Australia with Hermione. I was worried he might just up and disappear without telling anyone. I imagine that would really set everyone to working if one day he just wasn't there anymore. It looks like talking to Mr. Weasley was largely beneficial too as he had some very solid advice about avoiding detection. I swear Arthur doesn't get enough credit sometimes.

 

Aww. Ron can be a prat sometimes, but this isn't one of him. He's right that something is wrong with Ginny, but he's also right that tearing her away from Harry would only exacerbate the situation. She really does need some help though.

 

Of course, Ron and Hermione can't just go on their way. Something has to happen to stop them. Why are the fates so cruel Dan? Why can't things just go their way for once? Why must you pick on these poor babies?

 

Off to the next chapter now!

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2018 07:08 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: A Little Convincing

Hey Dan!

 

I'm back for another Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review Battle for December 2018.

 

Kingsley is a very astute observer. He certainly learned strategy from Dumbledore, whether directly or indirectly. You can see him playing with his chess pieces in the way he instructs Harry to speak with Doge.

 

Poor Doge. He just wants some peace and quiet. Now, Harry is going to somehow convince him out of retirement. I really like how Harry convinced him in this case. It wasn't even so much convincing as it was just having a conversation. Once he got him all riled up about politics, I knew he would eventually join them. I love that Harry used it as a moment to bring Kingsley into the fray. It was deftly done.

 

I enjoyed Harry telling his story to Hermione, Ron, and Ginny. It sounds pretty positive if Doge and Kingsley were writing lists when he left. Figures Ron would be reading a Quidditch magazine instead of actively listening.

 

I know Harry and Ginny are in the throws of lust and first love, but it is a little obnoxious to be constantly climbing all over each other. I wonder when the hormones will settle down.

 

I'm glad that Hermione is starting to feel more comfortable with Ron. I am also glad she's discovering her sense of power over him. I think the idea that she's in control will definitely make things a lot easier for her to deal with.

 

Poor Ron is so excited when he recalls Seamus' story about the actor. He excitedly blurts it out and then quickly realizes he's stuck his foot in his mouth. Typical Ron.

 

I thought the ending where he's telling her that he's really trying hard was very sweet. That is one thing that you can never take away from him. He might mess up, but he always redeems himself.

 

Another very enjoyable chapter. Again, I'm glad for a couple of light chapters, although I'm sure there's still a lot of darkness to come.

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2018 06:35 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Responsibilities and Appearances

Hey Dan!

 

I'm back for another Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review Battle for December 2018.

 

Well, the positive is that Molly is on the mend. If she's allowed to have visitors, it means she's slowly improving. The bad is that she's so loaded on spells and potions that she barely knows what's going on. I did love that even in her drug induced stupor, she had the sense to tell Ron that it was about time he and Hermione got together. I had a good giggle at that.

 

I can definitely understand why Ron wants to get the hell out. I know when I was going through my grandma passing away she had horrible dementia from Parkinson's disease...and it was honestly incredibly difficult to be around. I loved her, so I stayed, but it was a constant battle against my instincts to leave. It's a very guilt inducing feeling too.

 

I did not expect this much boxers vs. briefs convo to happen in this story. Who knew that there was such a fierce debate.

 

Hermione and Ron shopping for clothes were hilarious. I love how Ron picked out super racy underwear for Hermione. It's funny how modest she still is about him seeing underwear. Good call on his part though to flatter her and tell her how nice he thinks she'd look in them. I almost died when he held up the leopard print ones. That's probably pushing it a bit too much for her.

 

Oh, Kingsley. I know he wasn't looking forward to having to bring Harry into the fray, but I think he's right. Doge needs to be found. Hopefully, Kingsley can just very slowly start to work Harry into things. Ginny is right, he deserves his peace. Harry is also right though. Kingsley is a good guy, the sort they fought to have in charge, so he should support him as much as he can. If the ministry fails, Kingsley be replaced by another Fudge or Scrimgeour, so it's in everyone's best interest if Harry helps.

 

Nice chapter with a much lighter tone. After the last few chapters, it was very necessary.

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2018 05:03 PM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Damage Control

Hey Dan!

 

I'm back for another Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review Battle for December 2018.

 

I definitely was worried about the next chapter for the right reasons. I remember looking this chapter over for you when you were first writing it, or at least the part about Ginny. I have basically the same feelings reading it now as I did the first time. I think it can be really hard to write about rape in a sensitive way. I think the PTSD, flashbacks, all of that makes sense. I think the feeling of dirtiness and the scalding bathwater makes sense. I'm just not so sure about the power trip on Harry. Ultimately though, you have to stick to your guns on that.

 

I do have to say I didn't really feel like this plotline was necessary for Ginny. She's already been tortured, humiliated, lost a family member and friends, been possessed and forced to do horrible things, lived in almost constant fear for the last year, and has just watched her mum totally lose the plot. To me it's like what can possibly be worse? Oh yeah, let's add a rape. And a gang rape to boot. I know that isn't the way that you wrote this and that you put a lot of thought and care into a sensitive portrayal, but for me, I just don't know that Ginny needed that in her story arc. Hopefully, I articulated that in a way that is understandable.

 

Kingsley certainly has his plate full. Being the minister post-war certainly isn't an easy task. I loved his thoughts about all of the wizengamot members. It's awful that they just constantly hide behind more capable wizards. What business do they have in a wizengamot seat if they are unprepared to do anything? I also liked Kingsley's instincts regarding Harry. Anyone else would absolutely try to use him in whatever way they could. He really does have to protect him. I like his idea of using Harry in the Aurors department though. I think that could be very effective.

 

Oh Hermione. She really is so awkward with all of this sex stuff. Part of me just wishes she'd get it over with so she could be less awkward, but really, I'd rather she wait until she's ready. It's an important experience, one that I want to be good for her. I'm beginning to think she's right about Ginny moving too quickly though. I think Ginny is using sex as a coping mechanism for not dealing with her own issues now.

 

This was another really difficult chapter to read, but it was also very well written. Good job.

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2018 04:16 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Long Stories

Oh Dan, Why are you doing this to me? As if the last chapter wasn't depressing enough. This is just...ugh. I don't have any words.

 

I know that Bill is under a tremendous amount of strain and he's trying to hold it all together for everyone, but damn did he say the wrong thing. I can understand why Ginny slapped him. He's acting like she doesn't know first hand what the war was like. She was tortured, violated, and living in constant fear. Now she's in a house full of damaged people who are all barely holding it together. She's watching her family fall apart. She knows how messed up everything is and it was so incredibly unfair of him to talk to her that way. Had I been in her shoes, I would've slapped him too.

 

And then there's poor Harry. Stuck in the middle of all this and not sure what to do. Then there's that convo that Bill and Charlie want to have with him as if he is somehow a child. I know it's all good intentions and wanting to keep everyone safe, but it's just not the right time and not the right thing to say.

 

Kudos to Kreacher for noticing how badly Harry wanted to get away from it all. Sometimes it seems like Kreacher is the only one looking out for his best interest.

 

I'm glad that Harry finally had a chat with Fleamont and Euphemia. I think he desperately needs some family advice right now. His grandmother seems to have a good nurturing nature. I think their words also helped him clarify his role in Teddy's life.

 

I'm glad Hermione went to Ron. It seems like he really needs her right now. I imagine the funeral, his mom cracking up, Ginny and Bill fighting...it all must be agonizing for him. I agree with his assessment that a change of pace might be a good thing for them. Maybe going to Australia and having something constructive to focus on would help.

 

The ending was a relief. I'm glad that Ginny has calmed down some and was able to talk to Harry rationally. I understand the rage she's feeling and that she needs to let it out, but I also don't want her to go insane like Molly did. I hope maybe now she'll talk to Harry a little and allow herself to decompress. Sadly though, judging by the next chapter description, that won't be the case.

 

I can't imagine how difficult this story must be to write. I know it's been a bit emotionally exhausting reading it. I have to imagine that coming up with it had to have been exhausting too.

 

Good work as always. You write a very compelling story.

 

~Kaitlin

Gryffindor Red vs Gold Review Battle for December 2018



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2018 03:32 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Saying Goodbye

Hey Dan!

 

I'm back for another review for the Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review battle for December 2018. I've finally managed to compose myself after that last chapter.

 

I don't really have adequate words for this chapter. I found it heartbreaking in some of the worst ways. It was hard enough to deal with Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione mourning in their own ways, but the funeral was a new level of heartbreaking. Imagining Charlie, Bill, and Percy trying to all be strong and hold it together for everyone is just awful. Imagining them all saying goodbye at the side of Fred's grave is awful. But probably the most awful thing was Molly losing control. I know that the depths of her despair are unfathomably deep, but I think they've been made worse by the fact that she's refused to allow herself to mourn properly. She's been forcing herself to mother everyone else and not given herself the care she needed. She hasn't been sleeping properly and is possibly abusing cheering charms. It's a toxic recipe for disaster. I know she didn't intentionally hurt anyone, but to see her sending debris and shrapnel swirling was terrifying. I know no one wanted to hurt her, but why didn't anyone stun her? When Harry took out his wand, that's what I thought he was going to do at first.

 

I really hope Ron is ok. I really hope all of the Weasley's are physically okay. I know that mentally they aren't, but that will come with time. If Molly has hurt someone badly, it'll just add to all of the pain she's already dealing with.

 

Ugh. This was so brutal. I don't know how you wrote this. I don't know how I read it. I'm just a mess. Your writing was good, but this was an awful, horrible chapter to read. I know it was necessary in terms of talking about healing, but it didn't make it any easier.

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2018 03:00 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Deeper Understanding

Hey Dan!

 

I'm back for another review for the Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review battle for December 2018. I've finally managed to compose myself after that last chapter.

 

Hermione and Ron can never go too long without bickering. It seems to be ingrained into them. I have a feeling that this might be different though. I don't think Ron is just arguing for no reason. I think something is bothering him deep down.

 

Oh Ginny. Off to find something sexy to wear for Harry. The honeymoon phase is a funny thing. And now Hermione is there and it's going to get awkward because that's what Hermione does, makes things awkward. Actually, this didn't turn out too bad. Ginny is managing Hermione's anxieties about Ron quite well.

 

I thought Hermione's point about Voldemort dying only three days ago was actually quite insightful. When you put it like that it does seem like they're all moving a bit fast, but I also feel like they have a lot of lost time to make up for. With all of the pain and the sorrow, I don't think it's wrong for them to experience some purely selfish joy.

 

I definitely understand where Harry is coming from in regards to his vaults. A couple of years ago, both of my grandparents passed away and they left me a small inheritance. It was a nice thing to receive, but also something I felt a bit guilty about because who wants to receive something from someone dying?

 

Wow. Harry is really rich. I hope he puts that money to good use. I'd love to think of him doing something to set Molly and Arthur up so that they'd be comfortable. After all the struggles the Weasley's have been through, they certainly deserve it.

 

I knew there was more to Ron arguing with Hermione than he was letting on. Of course, it was about the funeral and Fred's death. Purchasing robes makes it real. He's been holding it together all of this time, but of course, he needs to mourn. I'm glad Hermione is there for him.

 

Aww Hagrid. Bless him. He is the kindest character in the entire book. I'm convinced of it...and so massively underappreciated. Totally not tearing up right now.

 

Oh. I love that Harry got to meet his grandparents, even if it is in portrait form. He's never wanted anything as badly as he's wanted family, so I feel like this is at least going to give him a little bit of a relationship with them. I'm glad he also found pictures and mementos. I hope he sends Neville the pictures of him as a child with his parents.

 

This was a heavy chapter. A lot of emotions and things to process for all of the different characters. I imagine the next one will be too with the funeral coming up. You really write this complex emotional stuff well. On to the next one now!

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2018 02:17 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Raising the Stakes

Hey Dan!

 

I'm back for another review for the Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review battle for December 2018. I've finally managed to compose myself after that last chapter.

 

The bit about Harry's nightmares is so sad. I mean, I thoroughly expect him to have nightmares as that is very common with post traumatic stress...and if anyone is going to have PTSD it's definitely Harry, but that didn't make it any easier. His comment about Voldemort not going away made it all the sadder. I'm glad that Ginny was there this time to ease his pain. Hopefully, at some point they'll be able to get some dreamless sleep potion.

 

The goblins are brutal. I mean I get their point about the wizards doing it to themselves. (Nice parallel to how the rest of the world feels about the USA right now.) But at the same time I feel like the goblins should be grateful to Harry for getting rid of a tyrant who would've inevitably been bad for them as well. I'm glad that they were able to negotiate a truce though. I'm also glad Harry saved Griphook, although I am a bit surprised by his coldness towards him. I figured Harry would've found someway to feel guilty about him too.

 

Ron is too cute. Look at him pining over Hermione. He's so head over heels and I love it. He just makes me want to give him a big hug.

 

Ginny and Harry are also adorable. The way they tease each other is definitely very accurate to how new relationships are. They're absolutely in that "can't keep my hands to myself" phase.

 

"....In the Slytherin dorm rooms next to Merlin himself." Dying. Ron is the best for comic relief.

 

Oh. So this is how Harry decides that he might want to become an Auror. I like that Proudfoot is quietly putting the idea back into his head. I know he needs a break and to recover, but I agree with her. I think he'll make an excellent Auror. Additionally, I think it will really help him refocus his mind if he has some sort of work that he feels is benefitting people.

 

You really do such a good job at writing this healing stuff. The ups and downs. The sad and the happy. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster, but one that's thoroughly enjoyable. Good work.

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2018 01:33 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Naughty, Naughty

OMG DAN!!! WHAT DID I JUST READ?!! I AM ABSOLUTELY DYING!!!

 

I honestly don't know if I can write a coherent review for this chapter. I was not at all expecting this. I mean I know Ron and Hermione are progressing and that Hermione can be a massive over thinker and Ron needs a lot of leading, but really I have no words.

 

I seriously almost s#%* a brick when Ron said Naughty, Naughty. Like I laughed for a good two minutes and then I went back and re-read it and laughed some more. Genuinely, one of the funniest things I've ever read. This had to be the most painfully awkward fooling around I've ever read. Like I'm embarrassed for the both of them. Poor sweet, innocent babies.

 

And omg, poor Ginny. How awkward to be all revved up and need the loo and find a hysterically sobbing Hermione. And then to have to hear about her brother's sex life or lack there of. I don't know how she did it. I was hurting for her though. I love her advice to blow his mind and to blow something else if she felt like it. Hermione needed a good wake up.

 

Ginny's advice was solid though. How could Hermione have thought Ron wouldn't need instructions or be scared to cross boundaries by accident? Blunt and bossy is best...especially for Ron.

 

I'm so glad the second go around was much less awkward. I might literally have died if it had been that bad twice.

 

I thought you captured the hilarity of first time sexual encounters quite well. I was very lucky to not have any super embarrassing experiences, but I've heard plenty of horror stories from my girlfriends. Although I have yet to hear of anyone shouting naughty, naughty. I'm still chuckling over that.

 

I have to tell you that this whole situation was made all the funnier by the fact that it's 5:15am over here and everyone in the house is asleep, so I'm trying to quietly conceal hysterical laughter and tears. I've read through this chapter two times now and it just doesn't stop being hilarious.

 

Great work as always! Oh before I forget for the Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review Battle for December 2018.

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2018 01:14 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: The Heart's Desire

Hey Dan!

 

I'm back with another review for the Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review Battle for December 2018.

 

Yes! Chinese food is amazing. I'm so glad Ron finally had a chance to experience it. And the dragons roaming loose everywhere sounds pretty epic.

 

Ron is the sweetest and Hermione is so painfully awkward. Clearly, she's been putting a lot of thought into the physical aspect of her budding relationship with Ron, but honestly I think she's way overthinking it. He very obviously wants her and also wants her to be happy and comfortable. I think it's sweet and very honorable that he doesn't want his answers to make her feel pressured. She is very much someone that has to come to the conclusion of what she wants to do on her own terms...and if he'd made her feel pressured, she'd just end up resenting it. I think he played things just right here.

 

The bit where she asked him how far he got with Lavender was a bit awkward. Talking about your ex with your current partner is never a fun task, but I think that it actually might help Hermione to know. I think it might encourage her along a little bit.

 

Aww. Yay! Ginny and Harry are back together. I knew that would happen eventually. Ginny isn't the same girl who let fear paralyze her.

 

Ooh. Bill Weasley has come to visit. I always really enjoyed his character. Calm and even, but with a dangerous edge. That was very thoughtful of Fleur to send them a basket.

 

I wonder how difficult the Goblins will be for Harry. I hope Kingsley and Bill are able to negotiate a truce. I understand why they're mad, but you'd think Harry having saved the world would be enough for them to get over it. Maybe Kingsley will use the fact that they were hiding a horcrux as a bargaining chip?

 

Love the jibe at Hermione and Ron. One day they will understand, probably fairly soon.

 

And more Ron and Hermione warm fuzzies. I hope Hermione gets fed up with waiting and jumps his bones. I have a feeling it won't be simply that easy though.

 

Another lovely chapter. This one has me feel a bit more optimistic about the whole situation. Slowly, things will start to get back to normal. Good job!

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2018 12:37 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Risk and Reward

Hey Dan!

 

I'm back with another review for the Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review Battle for December 2018.

 

So It's 4am and I'm wide awake reading through chapters of this story as if I've got a deadline. Of course, I have no deadline. It's just so well-written that I'm having a hard time putting it down. My sleep deprived self thanks you.

 

I love that Kreacher has gone and cleaned up Grimmuald Place. I imagine not having the horcrux hidden there must've drastically improved his mood. No wonder he's so much more productive now. It hadn't really occurred to me before you mentioned it here how miserable it must've made him feel. Now that he's appreciated it and in a healthier environment, he's got the place back to its former glory. I'm glad for that because imagining Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny going back to a dreary, depressing place sucks.

 

Even Sirius' mum's portrait is behaving better.

 

The parallels between Kreacher and Harry were perfect. Harry is just like him and doesn't even realize it. I'm glad that Ginny and Ron made snarky comments about it and I already know Hermione is going to give him a lecture about it later. His survivor's guilt is so big you could write a book about it.

 

Oh Ron. He's so transparent. He totally wanted Hermione to have her own room so he could pay her some nightly visits. I have a feeling though that as soon as Hermione works up the nerve, she'll be paying him some nightly visits of her own, likely soon since she keeps considering the physical aspects of their relationship. I think she's fantasizing enough to hopefully get her nerve up and go for it. It's kind of sweet that she's courageous enough to face down the Death Eaters, but terrified of taking the next step with Ron. I guess there is a little bit of innocence left in their world after all.

 

Aww. That last bit with Harry telling Ginny that he couldn't have left her a second time was so sweet. Thank you for at least a little bit of fluff in this otherwise very heavy story. I know Ginny is terrified that Harry will hurt her, but we all know how much he loves her. Leaving her was his warped way of protecting her and now that the war is over, I imagine he'll never let her go again.

 

I have to say, you are so good at writing young adult voices. You really nail all the anxieties and insecurities that are normal to a seventeen year old. Great work!

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2018 11:33 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Taking Flight

Hey Dan!

 

I'm back with another review for the Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review Battle for December 2018.

 

Way to start this chapter out with a complete left hook. I'm still not recovered from everything that happened in the last chapter and now this. How could you do something as cruel as making Harry dream about Tonks and Remus begging him to help their child? That one really hurt.

 

The confrontation with Mrs. Weasley was also heartbreaking. I don't know how Harry could convince himself that she could ever hate him. All of the Weasleys think of Harry as family. All of them would've given anything to protect him.

 

I'm glad that there was a little bit of a bright spot in all of the sadness here. I loved that it was George who stepped up when Harry was being mobbed. It made me happy to see that a little spark existed within the deep depths of his mourning.

 

Aww. Bless Molly. She just wants to look after Harry. I wish he knew how to accept her love and care.

 

Oh. Our first glimpse at Percy and Arthur. Arthur's convo with Harry was very sad, but also what Harry needed. He needed to be reminded that he is their family. I'm glad that he agreed to be a pallbearer, even though I know the guilt is killing him. In time, I hope he comes to understand that the war and all of the death...none of it was his fault.

 

Ugh. The reporters are so awful for sneaking the cameras in. Adding a Geminio charm to it was a dastardly plan. Again, I'm thankful for George who seems to slowly be remembering himself. And of course he'd know a secret passage that even the Marauders hadn't found! I love it.

 

Ooh. This standoff between Molly and Ginny is intense. I get that she's underage, but surely after everything she's been through at the school, Molly could understand why she wouldn't want to be there. After being possessed there, after being tortured there, after seeing friends and family die there, why would she ever want to stay? I'm honestly impressed that she hadn't tried to leave before that point.

 

I'm glad that Ron stood up for her. I know she doesn't want to feel like her older brother has to look out for her, but I think Ron's reassurance is what Molly needed. She's so scared of losing anymore of her children. Knowing that Ginny won't be alone is a good thing.

 

On to the next chapter now! This story is so addicting.

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2018 10:55 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: The Seventh Horcrux Part 2

Hey Dan!

 

I'm back with another review for the Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review Battle for December 2018.

 

This was a really interesting chapter, but I'm also not sure exactly what I want to say about it. In some ways, it was a summary of the entire Deathly Hallows book. In other ways, it really challenged me to think about Dumbledore, Snape, Harry, and everyone else involved a bit more objectively. In the re-telling it really hits home just how horrible everything Harry, Ron, and Hermione went through was. The idea that a teenage boy should be responsible for allowing someone to kill him in order to save the entire world is awful beyond words.

 

The confliction that Luna, Neville, Ginny, and McGonagall must feel towards Snape is unimaginable. To be tortured and suffer so greatly because of his indifference to monsters is bad enough, but then to find that you can't even hate him in peace because he was a hidden hero who swung the final tide of the war. That would be a bitter pill to swallow.

 

I loved the bit when Kingsley is talking about the arrangement of the portkey to Australia and Ron says that he'll be going too. Kingsley's response was absolutely perfect. Kingsley is one of my favorite minor characters. (I've actually written a couple of stories that feature him heavily) I'm glad to see you give him some attention here.

 

The round of applause from all of the headmasters and headmistresses' portraits was a lovely detail.

 

I hope that perhaps Ron, Hermione, Harry, Luna, Ginny, and Neville can all get some rest now. I wish Madam Pomfrey would just dose them all with some dreamless sleep potion and lock the hospital doors so they can rest.

 

Yes! Angry Minerva. Everything she said was spot on. Dumbledore left Harry like a lamb for the slaughter. I know he felt regret over it and didn't want to do it, but it doesn't really make it any better regardless. He deserved the scolding she gave him, even if everything worked out in the end.

 

Excellent work as always! Headed on to the next chapter now.

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2018 10:20 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: The Seventh Horcrux Part 1

Hey Dan!

 

I'm back with another review for the Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review Battle for December 2018.

 

Ugh. Your description of George and Molly is so heartbreaking. Molly is mothering because she doesn't know what else to do, but it's going to come crashing down on her eventually. She has to allow herself to grieve at some point. And George, he isn't the same person that Ginny remembers. His other half is dead and that changes people. He'll eventually heal some and get back into the swing of things, but there is a piece of him that won't ever be the same.

 

Yes! A Neville POV. I really love that you're giving me a look inside the heads of so many characters. It really is such an effective way of conveying just exactly how much is going on around the castle. I love Luna and Neville together. I always thought they were a really sweet pairing. I'm glad that they've found some comfort in each other.

 

Rita skeeter is so awful. So are the rest of the media that are there hounding Hermione, Ron, Luna, and Neville. How dare Skeeter talk about Augusta that way. I understand the press wanting to be up to date, but after a war, how could they think that surrounding people like that was a good idea. I'm so glad that McGonagall put them in their places. I love the threat of amputation from the statues.

 

I think Harry is in the right here, regardless of how worried Hermione is. Everyone in the room has proven themselves trustworthy. They've all battled alongside Harry and they deserve to know whatever truth Harry can offer them.

 

I have to imagine this conversation is incredibly difficult for Harry though. Admitting that he'd been a Horcrux to Ginny was one thing. She understood it because she'd been possessed, but the others haven't...and although I think they'll support him, it must've been difficult to get past his insecurities that they might abandon him. I'll be curious to see how the rest of this goes in the next chapter (which I'm headed over to in just a moment.)

 

Your writing continues to amaze me, Dan. I know I sound like a broken record, but you really are a caliber above the rest. I hope someday that you consider writing a novel of your own. And if you do, please make sure I know about it so I can purchase a copy.

 

Good work as always!

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2018 09:46 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Finding the Way Forward

Hey Dan!

 

I'm back with another review for the Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review Battle for December 2018.

 

You really captured Ginny well in the first bit of this chapter. I love how she thinks about her relationship with Harry. On one hand, it could help her heal, but on the other hand it might really hurt her again. The way she thinks of his damage and the fortresses around him is so accurate. He is damaged goods and she had to be sure she can hold up to the task of being involved with him before she goes and actually does it.

 

Ugh. And poor Harry, still torturing himself. How could he think those things about himself? Dumbledore trusted him because he knew the good in Harry far outweighed the bad in the Horcrux. He knew that the love he had for the people around him would drive him much harder than any dark impulses the Horcrux might've caused.

 

You know, oddly, it never occurred to me how much having a piece of a Horcrux in him might bother Harry or the fact that Ginny is really the only other person who could truly understand it. I'm so glad he opened up to her as they both really need to know they aren't alone. I love that Ginny called him a t*&$ because he kind of is. I mean after everything he's been through with Ron and Hermione, how could he possibly believe that they'd abandon him or wouldn't try to understand?

 

I'm glad that Harry invited Ginny, Luna, and Neville to the meeting with Kingsley and McGonagall. I think if there's anything that can be learned from Dumbledore, it's that keeping everything a secret is a bad idea. All of them have proven themselves trustworthy and I think they deserve to know the truth. I know that none of them will ever tell anyone else either. Plus, Harry needs the support. He needs to see that no one is going to turn away from him because of the truth. I was also very happy that he told Ginny how he feels about her and reminded her that she doesn't need to be alone. She needs time as does he, but I hope that as they heal, they'll find each other.

 

Yes! A Ron POV. I don't know if you know this or not, but Ron is one of my absolute favorite characters and I shop Ron/Hermione very hard. It always infuriates me when people say that Ron isn't right for Hermione. He's perfect. His steadiness. His goofiness. His laidback attitude. It's the perfect opposite to Hermione and really exactly what she needs.

 

I think you did a beautiful job handling their relationship here. I love that Ron is analyzing her trying to figure out the right response to her concerns about Harry and Ginny. I love that he twists it and says that they should offer a cover for Ginny and Harry to get some alone time. I love that he decides to go with Hermione to find her parents. Everyone else has someone else, but if he doesn't go with her, she'll have to go alone. She needs that support and his steadiness more than ever.

 

Also, I had a very good laugh at the drop bears bit. On a slight tangent, I belong to a women's travel group, and a girl asked a very sincere question about drop bear attacks in Australia as she was planning to visit. I told her "To prevent drop bear attacks, just rub a bit of Vegemite behind your ears. It works as a repellent." She didn't realize it was a joke, but all the Aussies in the group died laughing.

 

Anyway, another excellent chapter! Things are progressing nicely and quite realistically. I'm curious to see how this convo with McGonagall and Kingsley goes. On to the next chapter now!

 

~Kaitlin




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