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Reviews For After Destiny

Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 13 Jul 2019 08:42 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Taking Flight

Hi, Dan! Here for our swap! Thank you so much, btw! <3

The opening nightmare... that was so tragic, just for a change. At first, when you mentioned the cries of a baby, I thought about the Horcrux in the limbo scene... what you had was worse, in a way... Harry should really stop thinking that he's the cause of all the world's evil and that he destroys everything he touches... I really hope he will be able to actually be the godfather Teddy deserves. I mean, I know he will, eventually... I just want him to stop doubting himself... and I want Teddy to grow up as happy as possible... leaving Teddy orphan is the one thing I've never forgiven JK for (I think I might've said this already? Anyway...)

Talking about Harry's self doubt... I can't believe he truly thought that the Weasleys would blame him for Fred's death and not want to have anything to do with him anymore. His fear when he was confronted by Molly first and Arthur later... he can be really dense... and really frustrating as a result... I mean, I do understand his point of view... and I do understand how overwhelmed he must feel... it still makes me so sad that he would blame himself like that and expect the rest of the world to hate him, too. Oh, Harry...

I loved to see George react a little bit, finally! It wasn't much, maybe, but enough to make me feel confident that he will be okay soon. I loved the detail of the secret passageway that the Marauders never discovered. And talking about details, I've loved the argument between the portraits. Such clever writing, really! (I was almost forgetting to mention that scene... the sudden realization that Ron and Hermione would leave without him for the first time must have been so hard for poor Harry, but also I love how that prompted to actually think ahead and make plans for the future, which also helped him dealing with the grief and the confusion of his thoughts a little better. Sometimes having things to do can be a great help, when you just need to get distracted).

Another thing I want to mention before I forget... I absolutely loved Arthur! I loved that he asked Harry to help carrying Fred's coffin (such a touching moment) and I loved how he was so firm in stating that Harry is part of their family. I hope that if he keeps being told he'll eventually believe it.

The fight between Molly and Ginny was unexpected but it made so much sense at the same time. I can't blame Ginny at all for wanting to move away from a place that holds so many painful memories. I feel like no one is really understanding the extent of what Ginny went through during the last year. Of course, it hadn't been easy for any of them, but being forced to attend Hogwarts during the Carrow's tyranny is just... I wouldn't even know how to describe it... and the fact that Ginny had to carry that weight alone, that none of her family was there... I can understand that she would feel abandoned in a way... I wasn't expecting Ron to intervene in her defence, but I'm glad he did! I'm so proud of him!

Great chapter once again! Thank you so much for the swap!

Snowball hug,

Chiara



Name: Noelle Zingarella (Signed) · Date: 30 Jun 2019 07:11 PM · [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: The Beginning After the End

Hi Dan! I am here from your forum request and I am very excited to get started reading your novel.

 

I admire that you have decided to write about all of the serious consequences that living the sort of life that Harry, Ron, and Hermione lived throughout the HP books would have. JKR glossed over most of those (which is her prerogative as the author, I suppose) and I can see from this first chapter that you intend to give them their due.

 

Your writing is clear, and a good balance of description, action, and relationship establishment. The vivid picture of the cozy Gryffindor common room was nicely done—I particularly liked how it looked like it might have looked on any given day, as though its inhabitants ran off to dinner instead of a battle. But I also love how you used that moment for the Golden Trio to truly realize that they can never quite go home again. That room that had seemed so safe they now know isn’t safe. They’ve grown up and had the veil lifted so to speak. 

 

Backing up, I loved that, at the beginning of the chapter, Harry is mentally cataloguing all of his physical aches and pains. He has just been through a battle (and a year of privation) and you don’t shy away from that. I’ve never thought about it before, but I suppose a Killing Curse would leave some kind of terrible mark and pain, even if it didn’t kill. I hope that Pomfrey will be able to help him (and that he’ll go see her in the first place). 

 

I think you did an excellent job capturing the mood of the three; the exhaustion, the sadness barely held at bay by the exhaustion. The way that they know each other so well. Particularly that Ron and Hermione have an ability to communicate without words and that they know that Harry is already doing the thing where he blames himself for everything that went wrong and for every mistake he made. 

 

The moment where the twins are discussing Lavender was truly awful. She really was a brave girl, and the way you had the trio stumble upon that conversation was wrenching. But I suppose that conversations like that would be happening all over the castle on that day. 

 

I was impressed that you were able to interject two moments of levity into this chapter. The bit with the portrait was quite funny—a throwback to more innocent times. I also thought that Ron’s ability to joke at the moment when he and Hermione rescue Harry from his flashback was nicely handled. But, then you show us how affected Ron is and how strong and sensitive he is. When Harry starts to bring up Fred and Ron stops him because he’s not ready to talk about it—that was very moving. I thought that Ron wanting to hold it together for everyone else was perfect. I also really liked the moment where Harry thinks that he believes in Hermione more than he believes in himself. Harry might have been the ‘chosen one’ but the wizarding world really needed all three of them, working together.

 

The scene with Kreacher had me pretty much in tears. I loved how you characterized him—especially his dialogue. And I loved that he just wanted to go home and Harry, in true Harry style, made that happen. I hope that we will see more of Kreacher as the story goes on.

 

Excellent work! Thank you for coming by my thread and please come back any time!

 

Yours,

Noelle



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 29 Jun 2019 08:50 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: The Seventh Horcrux Part 2

Hi, Dan! I'm here for our swap! :)

This was another great chapter! :) I absolutely adored Ron's POV through the recount of the Horcrux mission! I think it was a great choice, I loved his observations, his reflections about his guilt for abandoning his friends, the way he supported Hermione when she recalled her terrible experience with Bellatrix, the complete adoration he has for the girl... :P I've loved the way you've written the golden trio going through the whole story and the reactions of the other characters to the reveals. There were a few deeply emotional bits, but also a couple of passages that made me chuckle and it was so nice to have some amusing moments too amidst the angst! It was all just brilliant! <3

I'm wondering what will happen with the Malfoys? I agree with Harry, I care nothing about Lucius and I think he deserves to spend in Azkaban the rest of his life (a Dementor-free Azkaban, because, let's be honest, no one deserves Dementors...) but Draco and Narcissa were only trying to survive and to protect their family... they "protected" Harry when it really mattered... they deserve to be forgiven... that's my personal opinion at least.

I love that Hermione is still so focused on House-Elves' rights! I love the idea of a memorial monument for the Ministry Atrium! I'm hoping the post-Voldemort wizarding world will be a more egalitarian one...

The last bit, with McGonagall lashing out at Dumbledore... oh, my Merlin! I love that, too! I can totally see McGonagall getting so angry at Dumbledore about the way he dealt with the whole Harry situation... and I think Dumbledore needed someone to tell him off for all those questionable choices (starting from leaving Harry with the Dursleys... Siriusly, Albus???)

One last note, because it amused me... can we please stop a moment to consider Peter's last act of mercy? :P Yes, I know that it doesn't redeem him in the slightest, but I guess you know by now that I have a soft spot for Peter... I still chuckled at McGonagall's comment. :P

Wonderful job as always! Thank you for the swap!

Love,

Chiara



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 25 Jun 2019 08:25 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: The Seventh Horcrux Part 1

Hi, Dan! Here for our swap! :)

Wow, that's quite the cliffhanger... I'll need to get to part 2 soon and find out what happens next (not tonight, though... it's too late already...)

Anyway, this was another wonderful chapter! I love how you get inside all the characters' heads and show the different ways they were impacted by the war and the different ways they deal with their grief. Every character is so in character and you write all their feelings brilliantly.

The first scene was so heartbreaking. I can totally see George reacting like that, it is like he lost a bit of himself... it's terrible... :( And Molly just acting like the omnipresent, overzealous mother... of course it's just her way to distract herself, which is why it's so heartbreaking, too. I loved seeing it all through Ginny's eyes, btw. She's extremely observant and I love her POV.

Neville is adorable. The way he feels for Luna is adorable. I'm so glad he has some reason to feel happy, even with all the pain he's endured. I understand that mix of feelings you describe, being well one moment and then the grief hitting all of a sudden, so well. One small thing and your mind travels back and the feeling of loss fills you in an instant... and with the war barely ended, with the castle still carrying the signs of the battle, it must be so much more triggering... I also really loved his thoughts about Bellatrix's death, how it doesn't really mean anything to him. I can totally see that too. Vengeance doesn't solve anything anyway.

The scene with the reporters was superb as well! Oh, Merlin, how much I hate Rita Skeeter! She must be the HP character I hate most after Umbridge... :/ But McGonagall with the Piertotum Locomotor! What a legend! :D I also loved how Neville and Luna ran to Ron and Hermione's aid immediately. I love all these kids so much! <3

It's so strange to see Hermione so wary, so suspicious... I mean, I understand the reasons of it, but it still feels weird... (it's not a criticism, on the contrary, I think you write her brilliantly... it's just strange to imagine for me...) I'm wondering what Dumbledore's portrait's thoughts were, too... is he disappointed in Harry's choice to reveal everything? Do portraits even have thoughts? The whole portrait thing is so weird, too, but I'm going off a tangent, sorry...

The whole horcrux discussion was so well done as well! I can imagine the shock of McGonagall and Kingsley. And poor Neville's total confusion. And then, finally, the big reveal. I loved the "He made six on purpose" bit. You built the tension so well there. Poor Harry, it must have been so hard for him to make the confession, to say it all aloud. It's going to be such a shock for everyone (except Ginny who already knew it all... :P)

Wonderful, wonderful job as always! Thank you so much for the swap!

Lots of love and snowball hug,

Chiara



Name: Aphoride (Signed) · Date: 24 Jun 2019 02:27 PM · [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Finding the Way Forward

Hey Dan! Here (albeit very late, sorry!) for our review swap! :) 

 

There's this real quality about your stories that I love. It's hard to name but everything you write reads so real, almost as though you're just kinda writing down something which actually happened. Just... the way you characterise people, the way you describe them, the way you unravel their feelings and go through their actions... it's just all so so good and so realistic and creates this perfectly formed world. It's amazing, because it's so hard to do and so hard to learn and with everything you write it's there and it seems so easy and so natural. 

 

I love how you write the Trio. You just get them and it's so good. I love how over the last four chapters, it's kinda seeing different sides of them all - how they're all responding, and responding so differently, to the stresses and worries and traumas they've all been through. They're all unique, and it's incredible. I think, though, in this chapter, I loved Ginny and Ron especially. There was something wonderful about seeing Ginny - a character so often portrayed as tough and feisty, passionate about things and so strong - coming across as vulnerable, determined to get answers, but understanding and accepting that maybe, that wasn't exactly the time to talk about what she wanted to talk about. It's difficult for her, because she doesn't feel any better or any more certain about things, but it's the right thing to do and it really kinda shows how they fit together - how she understands him in ways which perhaps Hermione and Ron wouldn't. 

 

Ron, as well - I loved how in this chapter, he listens to Hermione and her fears about her parents and what they'll want and finding them, and he doesn't really promise her that it'll be easy or anything, he just says 'we'll find them', 'they'll understand', and how he's going with her because she matters to him and needs him, in a way which perhaps the others - his parents, George, Harry - don't. It was so nice to see them doing something other than their usual portrayal of bickering. I also loved the focus this put on things other than everyone who's died and the losses from the war - there are other things going on underneath the surface as well, for different people, at the same time and those also come out, however inconvenient it may be. 

 

I loved the detail about the portraits mocking and teasing them for kissing in the hallways :P I can imagine there'd be a lot of that tbh :P 

 

I'm really curious to see how it goes with Harry telling people outside of the group about the Horcruxes. Obviously it's really secret knowledge, something really dangerous, and would probably be kinda scary to tell people - 'by the way, I was a Horcrux, and now I'm not any more - at least, I don't think I am any more - and none of you could know because it was really dangerous'. I mean, it's a lot to take in and a lot to try to understand in one go, even more so considering everything that's happened over the last forty-eight hours of this story :P You know, I'd never really thought about whether Harry would tell people, though as soon as I read it in this chapter it made so much sense? Especially the people he's going to tell. I almost wondered why I'd never thought about it before :P 

 

Your writing, as always, is phenomenal. You have a real, real gift of understanding people and laying them out on the page in all the ugly, beautiful technicolour that is. Your writing is so detailed and so honest, and there's a grit to a lot of your stories which I love. Honestly, you're one of the most - if not The Most - complete writers on the site. 

 

I really, really shouldn't leave it so long before coming back to this next time - it's a phenomenal story. 

 

Laura xx



Name: spaid (Anonymous) · Date: 05 Jun 2019 01:56 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Imperfect Solutions

Awesome story. Loved the journalist who did the crazy 300 owl things to get pictures of hogwarts, lol.



Author's Response:

Hi! I needed an event that would make it clear why Harry needed to leave Hogwarts, for his own good and for the good of the other people there. The flying cameras were a flash of inspiration. I'm glad you liked them.


Thanks for reading and leaving a comment!

-Dan



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 20 May 2019 09:20 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Finding the Way Forward

Hi, Dan! Here for our swap!

This story just keeps being so good! I've loved this chapter so much!

I've loved the way you wrote Ginny's thoughts at the beginning. The grief for Fred, the doubts about Harry... I've never thought of Harry as a puzzle to solve (maybe because we've all spent seven novels in his head... :P) but looking at it from Ginny's POV it must be quite confusing. I loved the contrast between the childhood, fairytalesque image of Harry Ginny used to have and the true Harry she'd come to know. I loved the way you wrote it, too.

And then we switch to Harry's POV... I can't believe he still can't see it, how he still believes that he is the reason people died... I'm glad he's trying to consider Hermione's words, at least. And I'm glad that he's starting to see that maybe she might have a point.

I loved the way he opened up to Ginny. I loved that what he shared with her made them connect even more, somehow, as horrible as the reason behind that connection is... I sometime tend to forget the trauma that Ginny must have gone through with the diary, and Harry's revelation must have made it all even worse. But I'm still glad they could talk about it, and understand each other a little bit better. I love how Ginny convinced Harry that he shouldn't have feared to confide in Ron and Hermione, too. And I loved how Harry asked her (and Neville and Luna) to be present when he'd explain everything to McGonagall and Kingsley. I can't wait to see that encounter, btw. I want to see how much Harry will reveal, and I want to see everyone's reaction. It's going to be... dramatic, at the very least.

Hermione worrying about Harry was so much fun to see. I bet Harry's behaviour would be highly unusual for him. :P The whole discussion about Harry and Ginny being back together was awesome. Ron's confusion was just great, and I loved to see him happy for Harry and Ginny for once, and not brooding jealously. :P The way he offered to accompany Hermione to Australia to find her parents was so sweet. It's just so nice to see them supporting each other like that. Romione 4ever! I can't see why people don't like them, I think they are wonderful together! <3

Sorry if this review is a bit of mess, I'm sure there are a thousand of things I should have commented on but I forgot (it's 11.20pm, too, and I'm starting to feel a bit sleepy, so maybe that's a small justification?) Anyway, I absolutely adored this chapter! You are really doing a wonderful job writing these characters and their struggles, it's so good!

Thank you so much for swapping!

Snowball hug,

Chiara



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 18 May 2019 11:45 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Lies Layered Upon Lies

Hi, Dan! I'm back with another review for our swap of the other day ;)

Well... yeah, massive is a way to describe this chapter... so much happened here, and it was a rollercoaster of emotions once again!

I found Hermione's disapproval at Harry and Ginny to be quite out of place (even if I can sort of see where she was coming from), to be honest, and I cheered when Ginny suprised her and Ron and had her little revenge, so to speak. :P But it was so painful the explosion of grief Hermione was going through when Fred's death properly registered in her mind. The way she and Ron found comfort in each other was so sweet and I'm so glad they do have each other at this moment. It was such a powerful and emotional scene and I really loved it. I also really loved all her thoughts later, the awkwardness between her and Ron and the way she acknowledges the changes in herself. They have grown up, they've experienced terrible things and what was unthinkable before is now the natural course of things. I love the concept and the way you expressed it.

The scene with Sinistra and Trelawney was a nice interlude. The bit about stars was so much fun. Astronomy vs Astrology. Typical Trelawney, claiming that she Saw the tragedy and being partly gleeful about it... :P

Harry getting to the Hospital Wing and then suddenly falling over like that... I hadn't realized he was in such a bad shape... although after everything he's gone through and surviving a second Killing Curse, it's surprising that he didn't collapse much earlier. Madam Pomfrey was just as typical, I love her so much! I also love how she mentioned how incredible it was that Harry willingly went to her (and btw, another very funny bit, even if in a sort of bitter way, was when Ron mentioned that it takes being hitten by a Killing Curse twice to get Harry see a Healer. That's about right. :P)

I'm so proud of Harry for deciding to tell the truth to Kingsley and McGonagall. I do understand Hermione's worries, of course, because the news about the Horcruxes and the Hallows are surely dangerous and should not become of public domain, but at the same time... Dubledore's secretive ways have done a lot more damage than him being sincere at least to Harry and a few others would have been.  I'm also really, really glad that Hermione called Harry out for saying he'd caused the death of people. That boy really needs to realize that what he's done was noble and courageous and that the people who did die didn't do it for him, but to give others the chance to live in a safe and free world. I hope Harry will stop blaming himself one day.

Great chapter!

Lots of love,

Chiara



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 15 May 2019 07:50 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Something to Feel

Hello Dan, here for our swap! :)

I had typed most of my review already, and then I somehow managed to close the tab and lost it all... I hate when that happens... anyway...

This was incredible! You have a wonderful style, your descriptions are stunning, your characters' voices are so perfect...

You almost made me cry with the dream sequence at the beginning. I could feel all the grief Harry did, it was like reviving all those losses from the books all over again... and the image of the forest, the complete silence except for the crunch of the snow... such stunning imagery! So good!

I chuckled at Harry later, when he was hesitating after seeing Ginny in the CR. It was so ridicolous seeing him advancing and then retracing, although I could understand why he would be so scared to face her. And their fight was so well written and so believable, too. Ginny's hurt at being abandoned and then believing Harry dead... and all their terrible experiences while they were separated... I didn't quite expect their fight to end the way it did, but I can't complain about that. :P I also really, really loved their conversation after. I really hope Harry will manage to prove Ginny wrong and they will be happy together (I mean, I know they will, eventually. I hope she won't avoid him for fear of being abandoned again for too long... although, again, I can totally understand it...)

This story is so good so far! I need to remember to come back again (remind me sometime, maybe...)

Thank you so much for the swap!

Lots of love and snowball hug,

Chiara



Author's Response:

Hi, Chiara! 


Snowball hug... This review must have been left... an embarrassingly long time ago. Let's see if we can reduce the numbers.

 

I really focus on getting the characters' voices to "sound" right, so I'm very happy to know that it worked for you. Harry is pretty hopeless when it comes to interacting with Ginny. A side-effect of spending the majority of his adolescence trying not to be killed, I imagine. For her part, Ginny has a lot of unresolved anger. Being left behind hurt, even if Harry did it for all the right reasons. And seeing Hagrid carry Harry out of the forest, thinking he was dead... it was like seeing all of her dreams die. 

 

Harry is going to do his best to prove Ginny wrong, but it won't be quick or easy. If it was, this story wouldn't be very interesting. ;)

 

I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it! Thank you for the swap.

 

-Dan

 



Name: poppunkpadfoot (Signed) · Date: 29 Apr 2019 04:13 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: The Beginning After the End

Hey Dan! I'm here for round 3 of CTF!

 

I seriously think I'm going to cry. Sometimes I forget how much I love Harry Potter (the character), but this brought it all right back to me. You've captured him SO perfectly here, and I'm literally floored. It's like you were able to crawl right inside his head. I'm beyond impressed, seriously.

 

The emotional moment right at the beginning, when Harry says "it's over" and it's nothing like he thought it was going to be, was really well done. I was welling up as the Trio hugged each other and wept. And with Harry thinking about how he didn't even know how to believe/process that it was over, and how this fight had defined his entire life... that felt very realistic, for sure.

 

The moment of levity where Hermione points out how bad they smell was very much appreciated. I definitely think in that sort of state of exhaustion and shock, there would be moments like that. It was very well-handled and didn't feel at all inappropriate. Same thing later on in the chapter, when Harry has the flashback and then there's a little moment of levity as Hermione scrambles out of the bathroom. Hah!

 

I'm sad that Lavender died in your universe :( I know it's a bit up in the air as to whether she did or not (in general). But I think including the sisters really made sense. It was a little moment to demonstrate that the Trio aren't alone in the world, and that other people are grieving too.

 

The moment between Kreacher and Harry was absolutely wonderful. I've never seen anyone do anything like that before, and I was struck by how vital it felt. I also thought you wrote Kreacher very, very well. So I was extremely impressed with that whole scene.

 

I'm so, so glad Harry has Hermione and Ron to look after him. It honestly feels at this point like if he was left alone he would just crawl into bed and waste away there - not eating, ignoring the giant bruise on his chest, and having flashbacks. He really needs his friends and it's such a relief that he's accepting their help.

 

Like I already said, I'm stunned at how well you captured Harry. Every single beat is on point and feels perfectly, 110% in character. Extremely well done!

 

I can't believe I'm just getting to this story now, haha. I'll definitely be back sometime soon!

 

-Kayla (team red)

 



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 29 Apr 2019 12:57 AM · [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: The Beginning After the End

Hey! Back for more! And CTF.

 

I absolutely love how you pick up right where JKR leaves off in Deathly Hallows. You have Harry, Ron, and Hermione leave Dumbledore's office and then begin their journal towards the After...  which includes bathing, eating, and sleeping. Such basic, every day things, and yet you craft their endeavors as shining, new experiences. And rightly so. The Golden Trio weren't exactly expecting to survive the War. But they have.

 

I love the human nature you highlight in this chapter. From the body odor to seeing Harry naked to feeling aches and pains, you really show our favorite HP characters as actual people. And the snapshots of grief you write, too. It's cutting and fresh and accurately portrayed. How it comes in resounding waves. 

 

Harry's flashbacks while in the shower are devastating, but understandably realistic. He has a lot of healing to do, but it's going to take awhile, especially with all the survivor's guilt he's feeling and has been feeling for years and years already. I love the bruise you give him on the chest, being purple and green. I think that's rather fitting for a Killing Curse that doesn't work--though I do hope it's able to heal.

 

Ron and Hermione are absolutely on point in this chapter, as well. Ron with his little side comments. Hermione being supportive and knowning what to say. (And Harry with Kreacher is also on point, too). You capture their chemistry with your little details and carefully thought out dialogue. I know that I haven't had the most traditional start to reviewing this fic, but I am stoked to return again, soon! :)



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 27 Apr 2019 07:58 PM · [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Reflections

Hello! Here for CTF Round 1 Week 1, go team red!

 

This story has been on my to read list for awhile. Of course, I get to break out a teammate, so I'm starting from your latest update, but that means that I have more incentive to start from the beginning because WOW! What a chapter!

 

That airplane scene between Ron and Hermione was an intense read. There's a lot of tension in their relationship, and since I'm jumping into the story now, I'm wondering if it's because of traveling or because something else that happened earlier. But you learn a lot about a person when you travel with them, so if they can survive this trip, then they might fare okay overall... and I love how you kept having Ron get the name of the wine mixed up! All of your little details are spectacular. 

 

And then oh wow! Dumbledore's vault. I'm so curious to learn more about what he left behind: his trinkets and gadgets and his books--particuarly the one that Harry has about Gindelwald! And the Mirror of Erised--yes this young couple has a long way to go. But so much is on their plates: not only do they have to balance Harry's fame (and now wealth), they are still coping with the War. On top of figuring out how to have their relationship, it's a lot!! 

 

And their shagging at the end, I find it hysterical Luna walked in on them like that. But also her reactions and comments were also very Luna-like, too. Her directness and thoughtfulness and the way she conceptualizes things. 

 

Your descriptions overall are amazing. I love all the details you work in here from the books, especially that deep discussion the Fidelius Charm and the Floo Network. You have this world very well flushed out--from the magic to the characters to just everything! I'll definitely be back for more!

 



Author's Response:

Hi, there!

 

I really appreciate you leaving this review, because I'd never really thought about how this story would read to someone who dropped into the middle of it. I'm glad to see that it wasn't too hard to pick up on the basics of what's going on, but I'm also glad to see that there were some threads that a reader would need to start at the beginning to pick up on. Does that make any sense? Bascially, it's rewarding as an author to see a good mix.

 

Ron's relationship with Hermione is quite intense at times, and probably more intense as seen through his eyes than through hers. A lot of the tension is driven by the events surrounding them. They help each other to cope, but it's not always easy.

 

Harry and Ginny are off to a good start, but they do have a long, long way to go. The mirror was telling for Ginny. If you get a chance to read from the beginning, you'll see why it triggered her anxieties the way that it did.

 

Ah, Luna. Look for a lot more awkward insight from her in forthcoming chapters...

 

I'm really pleased that you enjoyed the chapter! Thank you for the review!



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 27 Apr 2019 06:54 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Reflections

Hey Dan!


 


I’m here to drop you a review for CTF 2019 - Team Red! Perhaps you have a flag hidden somewhere on your AP? 


 


You already know how much I love this story for your excellent portrayal of recovery and PTSD. This chapter continues that brilliance by allowing us to see just how much is at stake for the different characters. Hermione in particular really has the deck stacked against her.


 


One thing I wanted to comment on is how brilliantly you write Ron. I feel like he often gets a bad rep in fan fiction, but here you’ve made him relatable, a bit naive, but ultimately well-intentioned. His heart is definitely in the right place. We see that in the way he responds to Hermione’s admission that she might not be able to recover her parents.


 


Luna is such a gem and even when you just have characters talking about her, you really nail her persona. The comment about thong underwear gave me a good chuckle.


 


Ginny continues to be such a complex character in this story. I really love how you explore her thoughts and inner workings. I could see why she might resent Dumbledore and to be fair, it’s nice that someone is so solidly in Harry’s corner. I don’t know if she’s one hundred percent accurate in her assessment of him, but I am glad that she can see how manipulative and conniving he was. 


 


Ginny’s brush with the Mirror of Erised was interesting. It’s kind of sad that she’s so conflicted over her own assault that she sees a version of Harry who knows her secrets and excepts her. It’s even sadder because that would most likely be reality. I feel certain that Harry would support her and love her all the same if she told him.


 


The bit where Ginny is talking to Luna about shagging on the table is only the second most awkward sex scene in this story. If only she’s shouted naughty, naughty at them as she’d walked past. :)


 


Good chapter as always! I look forward to reading more when you eventually update.


 


~Kaitlin 



Author's Response:

Hi, Kaitlin!

 

When I look back at this chapter, it occurs to me that there was a lot more going on than I realized when I wrote it. Little details have a funn way of sneaking in. You caught a lot of them. 

 

I've slow-played Hermione's story up to this point, but she is dealing with as much as anyone. I'd always thought that the way she erased her parents' memories, at least in the film version of Deathly Hallows, didn't seem like something that would be easily undone.

 

I know exactly what you're saying about Ron getting a bad rap. In a lot of ways, I think the movies made that tendency worse. So many of his best moments in the books were omitted or, worse still, rewritten to give them to Hermione. I just want to see the poor guy get his due.

 

Ah, Luna. She is one of my favorites, even though writing her can be terrifying. I'm glad you like her.

 

I'm trying very hard to bring Ginny's story along slowly. There is no easy resolution to what she's going through, so it wouldn't be realistic to wrap it all up in one big hug-fest. Stormy waters ahead...

 

And the award for Second Most Awkward Sex Scene goes to... Don't worry, I'm reasonably sure I'll top it before all is said and done. ;)

 

Always glad to have you back! Until next time...

 

-Dan

 



Name: Aastha (Anonymous) · Date: 17 Mar 2019 11:05 AM · [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: A Dangerous Proposition
thanks for the update!
Just read the chapter, it was amazing, loved seeing Luna and Neville, it was interesting seeing a vampire, not many stories go there.
Also when are you planning on updating next?

Author's Response:

Hi!

 

I'm pleased that you're enjoying the story. We should be seeing Mr. Olah again fairly soon.

 

Another update is out, but you've probably seen that by now.

 

Thanks!

-Dan

 



Name: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: 08 Mar 2019 09:10 PM · [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: The Seventh Horcrux Part 2

Really good story thus far! For what it is worth in the books it was actually Harry's idea to get on the dragon. It was in the movie that it was Hermione's decision.



Author's Response:

Hi! I'm glad you're enjoying it. That's a good point. I'll need to edit that at some point.

 

Thanks for reading and leaving a comment!



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 06 Mar 2019 04:12 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: A Dangerous Proposition

Hey Dan!

 

So I saw that you posted a new chapter and I think you already know that I absolutely love this story, so I had to drop by and leave a review. (Also, since it's a new month...Gryffindor Red vs Gold Review Battle - March 2019 - Team Red) Definitely one of my favorite pieces of fanfic out there.

 

I had a good chuckle over Ginny and Harry discussing seeing the woman's chest. Harry is a quick learner, never tell your girlfriend how hot the boobies were.

 

I also had a good laugh over both Harry and Ginny's piss poor knowledge of geography. Dubai in China? Huh?

 

Ginny's assessment of the Dursley's is spot on. I am glad to see that Harry isn't all cut up over his non-existent relationship with them. It's sad that after everything he's been through, they can't even come around a little bit, but I never really expected them to. I do head canon that later in life when Dudley and Harry each have kids that they maintain a semi-amicable relationship and occasionally get the kids together.

 

Man, Harry is getting complacent if he is getting his wand jacked while walking down the street.

 

Ginny is perfect. Gryffindor through and through. Not a complete idiot, but willing to walk into danger to protect the person she loves knowing that it's quite possible she could get hurt.

 

That club is creepy. I'm not sure what to think. I do agree that if anyone had wanted to hurt Harry, they could've done so several times by now, but that doesn't mean they aren't eventually planning him harm. Maybe it's some kidnapping plan in which they intend to ransom him or use him to manipulate the ministry. My first thought was that they might want him in a vulnerable position to try and Imperio him. A Harry under control is much more useful than a dead Harry.

 

Oláh is an interesting character. It seems that his desires are fairly straight forward. He senses the backlash coming towards dark creatures and he wants to make sure he's protected. I'd say it's pretty reasonable for Harry to help in that regard. And he's giving up Umbridge to do it? Definitely worth it. I think he's definitely keeping some things to himself, but that's to be expected. No one shows all their cards at once.

 

The bit about the dementors was super interesting. I can see why no one would trust them, but also, is it really okay to roundup an entire magical species?

 

The chat between Neville and Harry at the end was good. I think a lot of things that were said really needed to be said. I know Harry talks to Ginny, but the dynamic between him and Neville is so different and I think really necessary for both of them. I'm glad that Neville was also able to give Harry some insight into what happened to Ginny, even if neither of them completely know what happened.

 

I'm looking forward to the next chapters on this! I hope you'll be posting soon...and I hope one of those upcoming chapters will have lots of Ron and Hermione. I also hope that Luna and Neville will continue to show up as I'm enjoying seeing their story progress.

 

Great work as always!

 

~Kaitlin




Author's Response:

Hi, Kaitlin! Nice to have you back.

Harry is a quick study, isn't he? I'd love if it were as simple as him being good at reading other people's feelings and that's where it ended, but there is a less happy side to the picture. Harry is still in a place where he's desperate for approval due to his horrid childhood. At times, you'll see a darker side to this.

Speaking of Harry's horrid childhood, we come around to the Dursleys. I only suggest that you keep in mind that you're getting Harry's version of how he expects things to be between him and his relatives. And as we learned over the course of seven books, Harry is not always what you'd call a reliable narrator. You might yet get a glimpse of the Dursleys...

Ginny is getting a crash course in what it's like to be close to Harry. If he had been with Ron and Hermione, I doubt they even would have tried to talk him out of going into the club. There's no point. As you see, though, Ginny is not immune to the adrenaline rush of following Harry into a foolish, dangerous situation. As you said, Gryffindor through and through.

You probably haven't seen the last of Oláh. I honestly haven't decided. I like the concept of him and I like some potential plot lines he opens up, but I found him really difficult to write in a non–cliched way.

You will indeed be seeing a lot of Ron and Hermione. Their time in Australia will be eventful, to say the least.

Thanks for reading and thank you for the awesome reviews!



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 05 Mar 2019 04:55 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: The Beginning After the End

Hello, Dan! Here for our swap! :)

I was convinced I'd already read a few chapters of this story, but apparently I didn't... oh, well, I'm starting now...

And wow, this was a pretty intense first chapter! I don't frequently read stories that deal with the aftermath of the war, but I love what you've done here. Harry's emotions right after the battle are so real and so well written... the physical and mental exhaustion, the grief, the guilt... it's all just so good (and with good I mean heartbreaking).

I wish Harry didn't blame himself the way he does. I mean, I do understand where he's coming from, but he did everything he could at the best of his possibility and much beyond that... but of course logic doesn't apply when you are dealing with grief, and too much has happened to Harry only in the last few hours... he still need to process it all, and of course it's going to take a while. But at least I know Hermione is right when she says that it will be okay eventually. Time does heal. Not completely. But it does.

The bit when they overheard the Patil twins... that was so terribly sad! Lavender has never been my most favourite character, but the way she died is just so terrible and horrifying... so, so sad!

Kreacher... that was such a sweet moment! Harry expressing his gratitude was touching, and Kreacher's reaction was so precious (I love house elves :P) It made me so sad, though, how Harry was immediately reminded of Dobby and what happened to him... I had almost managed to forget that bit, and you had to go and remind me... that's nasty, you know?

There's so much more I probably should mention... this was such a rollercoaster of emotion and every single bit was so poignant... but I'm afraid my mind, too, is too exhausted now... Anyway, I loved this, such brilliant writing, so well done!

Thank you so much for the swap! Hopefully I'll get a chance to come back here soon!

Lots of love,

Chiara



Name: Aphoride (Signed) · Date: 23 Feb 2019 11:52 AM · [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Lies Layered Upon Lies

Hey Dan! Dropping by for our review swap! :) 

 

This is one of those stories which I always see around every now and then and know I love, but it's heavy - it's not something I can just read in the middle of something, and it doesn't deserve that, yk? It needs to be read slowly and carefully, because it's a solemn, serious sort of story, with all of the heavy topics in it which you deal with so so well, and with the way the characters have to start recovering from everything which happened. Things like PTSD and trauma are hard and recovery from them is slow, and the way you write them: the suddenness of emotion affecting Hermione and Ginny and Harry and Ron - whether it's sadness or anger or what - is so true to people who are exhausted, emotionally and physically and mentally. They've been through so much, they're frayed at the edges, worn out completely, and I love how you portray that. 

 

You have a real, real talent for writing the Trio. I'm pretty sure I've said this before but you are just so so good at writing canon characters I wouldn't go near with a barge pole because I'm so scared of getting them wrong - and it's so easy to get them wrong, yk? But you do it perfectly. Harry's guilt complex - his 'saving people thing' and his survivor's guilt all in one - Ron's irrepressible humour, even in the worst of situations, Hermione's level-headedness and uncertainty about things she doesn't feel she's in control of, Ginny's short temper... even McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey were perfect, with the care that they both have for Harry, and the gratitude, showing through. 

 

I think my favourite bit in this chapter was the discussion at the end about what to do - who to tell what - about the Horcruxes and the Hallows. It's a good point - I never really thought about that tbh - because it'd be kinda stupid to go around telling everyone - power corrupts and all that - but Harry's point about lies on lies makes so much sense. There's been so much that Harry's had to keep secret or has been kept secret from him all his life - starting with the Dursleys - no wonder he's not totally comfortable with the idea, even if it is the most sensible thing to do. 

 

I love this story. I'm so excited to see where you take it next: what happens with Ginny and Harry when they next meet, how do things go with the rest of the Weasleys and with the very beginning of the rebuilding project. And how that conversation goes: with McGonagall and Kingsley. This is genuinely such a brilliantly perfect canon addition. 

 

Laura xx



Name: shadowkat678 (Signed) · Date: 16 Feb 2019 05:43 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Something to Feel

Hi, here for the second part of our swap!

 

Also, I forgot to write last review that I love your descriptions. So I'll say that right off. I love your descriptions! I also meant to comment on the injuries Harry had. Too often in fics people wave them away with a wave of a wand, and I liked that they're commented on.

 

This review probably won't be as long, especially considering all the parts of the last review that didn't cover specific instances apply here as well, so I won't have to repeat them. :P

 

He thought that he'd come to terms with losing Sirius. Thought that their encounter in the Forbidden Forest had finally given him closure and brought a sense of purpose to his godfather's death. As Harry fought back the tears, it was obvious that he was mistaken.

 

Merlin, that nightmare was hauntingly written. I do feel kinda sad his parents weren't listed. They were the first ones to die because of Harry, and I hope that gets brought up at some point because I think that's something that would strike him, especially after seeing them before heading out for Voldemort, like with Sirius.

 

Speaking of, oh my gosh that ending. I got chills. It was a great setup.

 

I like that you had them sleep for so long. They'd need it. I can only imagine how they got through the battle having not slept in over 48 hours. Last time I tried that I ended up putting pretzel bites in the frier instead of the over at work, and my coworkers STILL haven't let me live that down about a month later. And I didn't even have anything stressful going on then. 

 

The interaction with Ginny was so full of emotion and conflicted feelings, some of them not really rational but still very valid considering the circimstances. Also, as always, Harry is oblivious when it comes to romance. Someone please get that boy some help. It's almost painful to watch.

 

I think there were some highlights that really show that theme of emotional stunting again with that, though. Especially when he didn't even consider how anyone would react to him slipping off.

 

I love the reactive nature Ginny showed there. How much she'd been holding in that burst during that conversation. The part where they were comparing dangers was especially potent. All the heartache and pain. It's a wonder how no one woke up throught that. 

 

I'm wondering why the stairs didn't collapse, but guess it's good in the end it didn't. Also, I'm guessing the reference Ginny made was where that warning comes in. I wonder if Harry caught that at all, and how it's going to come up. I skipped the actual sex scene, because I'm not very good with reading those, but I read up to and after. I hope there's nothing important I missed.

 

 

I wonder how they're going to end up back together. There's so much tension and mixed feelings around it right now. Both of them have so much baggage they have to deal with. Oh, I just want them to be happy again. It doesn't go away just because you're in love, regardless of what some romances try and tell you, but having someone be there to talk to does, like he does with Hermione and Ron. But niether of his friends know what it's like to have such a close connection to Voldemort like Ginny does, and I think that's a pretty big connection for both of them.

 

Anyway, sorry again for being so late!

 

 



Author's Response:

Good morning! No worries on the timing.

First off, the sex scene isn't really make-or-break in terms of knowing what's going on. It's just another piece of a larger picture of where Ginny and Harry are at emotionally and psychologically. I think the picture holds together just fine whether you read it or not. They're both suffering from psychological trauma and they're physically and emotionally running on fumes. Definitely not a situation where anyone would want to be held accountable for the decisions they make, and I don't think that the decision they make in Ginny's dorm is a good one. They've gotten the cart far in front of the horse, if you will.

Harry's dream actually took longer to write than the rest of the chapter. It was a pain to get all of the little details right so that it reflected what I was seeing in my mind.

Sleep deprivation is a nasty thing. It messes with your head in many ways and greatly diminishes your capacity to function.

I wanted the scene with Harry and Ginny in the Common Room to be as raw as I could make it. I tried hard to dial back the atmospheric details and stick to the emotions. As you said, they've both been holding a lot inside in order to make it through. A lot of it comes out in that scene, and it ends up being a messy jumble of mismatched feelings.

In my mind, the enchantments on the stairs to the girls' dormitory suffered, as many of the castle's protective enchantments did, following Dumbledore's death and due to the massive amounts of dark magic expended during the war and the battle. McGonagall will get it all patched up, at least as soon as someone lets her know about it. ;)

They have a pretty long road in front of them, when it comes to mending their relationship. They both want it to happen, but they're also both very injured: physically, psychologically and emotionally. There's a lot of healing to be done. You picked up on an important connection that Ginny and Harry share. You will definitely be hearing more about it...

Thank you for the swap and thank you for the great review!



Name: shadowkat678 (Signed) · Date: 16 Feb 2019 05:14 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: The Beginning After the End

Hi, Dan! Really sorry for the wait. I feel really bad about it, but I'm really excited about this story. The writing is phenomenal!


 


First, I’m going to go into some overall impressions, and then I’m going to focus on some specific moments that really stuck out to me. However, I’ll probably have to limit those, because there were a lot! I was screenshotting lines every couple paragraphs as I reread this last night. I don’t do that often, so kudos.


 


As a disability and mental health advocate, I’m always in for more representation, especially well done representation. How you’re handling it here so far is amazing. I’m not sure if you have firsthand experience, but if not, it’s clear you put a lot of thought into your portrayal, which is something I appreciate. I love how you also don’t just focus on the horror of war, but also on the small joys used to distract from the trauma it brings.


 


Your characterization is so spot on. They felt like they did in the books, and you can already fell the depth of personality here. Most published writers I’ve read don’t do it this well. For some bits, I don’t even think J.K. Rowling did. It feels like you’re seeing real breathing and complex people, and I love it so much.


 


The writing is smooth and flows well. I wasn’t really looking for any spelling or grammar errors, but if there are any they were discreet enough for me not to be pulled out of the story by them. I’m also a big fan of how you started with something right from the books.


 


Now for specific parts!


 


“In a quiet moment of aching, numbing exhaustion, Harry Potter realized that the struggle which had defined his entire life was over.”


 


This was such a great thing to focus on. Ever since he was told about the prophecy, Harry has had the weight of the entire world on his shoulders. He was just a kid, but he hardly looked past what he would do after Voldemort and the Death Eaters were defeated. Being the Chosen One was the first thing most of the Wizarding World saw about him. They didn’t see the boy who loved Quidditch. They didn’t see the kid who would do anything to keep his friends safe. They didn’t see the isolation he’d endured for so many years. They never saw him as a boy. That in itself is just so tragic. He’s happy about it, but at the same time is the question: “What next?” And even being happy about being alive, there were so many they lost, but for the moment he tries to push it back, even if it still stays at the edge of his thoughts.


I also enjoy the lighter hearted moment after this realization, even if it was short lived. The moment with the Patil twins brought back the tension in a very potent way. It’s the first look of characters outside the trio in the story, delivering bad news the three friends didn’t even know about, and it brings Harry’s pondering about those who died right back to the surface. The way they supported Hermione was touching. I think I remember from the books that the two girls weren’t too close, but it’s still a hard blow to take.


 


“You aren’t,” Ron replied firmly. His tone of voice took Harry by surprise. The wasn’t a hint of reservation or self-doubt. “We’re staying together. None of us need to be alone right now.”


 


(I did find a typo here. I think you meant There instead of The.)


 


I like the way that Ron didn’t say Hermione didn’t need to be alone, but none of them did. They’d been together a whole year on the run, finally completing what they set out for, and they’d stayed together in close quarters the entire time (minus when Ron left for a bit). It makes me think of stories of survivors that end up grouping together, and stories of how they panic when they have to split up, even for sleeping in separate rooms like here. Being around each other was their only constant.


 


“Everything looks... smaller,” Ron mumbled. “Was the room always this small?”


 


“Something’s off,” Harry nodded in agreement. He was relieved that he wasn’t the only one who’d noticed.


 


As always, the epiphany hit Hermione first. “It’s...” She squinted, sizing everything up through tired, swollen eyes. “It’s exactly the same. We’re what’s different.”


 


Standing in almost the same spot, weary to the point of collapse after surviving the fight of his life, it dawned on Harry that his first impression hadn’t been so far from correct. This place -- this warm, wonderful, comfortable, welcoming, safe place -- was an illusion. A magical fantasy created by adults where children didn’t need to confront the harsh truths of life. A place where losing house points or Quidditch matches or having to write twelve inches of parchment on goblin rebellions were the worst things that could ever happen to you. Harry knew better now. The magical fantasy was over.


 


 


Another very potent moment is their entry into the Common Room. I know I’ve had moments like this, and they can be very jarring. They’ve all grown and seen so much more than they knew as children, and now they have to struggle with what all that means. How do you cope with that? Everything you knew, everything you were told and help true for so long, turns out to be different from the reality. It’s almost like entering a slightly different dimension parallel to your previous, where everything is only just a bit different, but you can’t help but notice. It’s there and you can’t block it out that epiphany. The way the clothing was just a bit too small for each of them, especially Harry and Ron, shows a physical element to this as well.


 


The shower scene was a mix of humor and also a serious view into the more invisible scars Harry has gotten. The way it starts out so innocent, and then shifts and pulls him in was done very well. Even after he’s shaken out of it by his friends, Harry refuses to go to Madam Pomfrey. It’s understandable how he’s feeling, and I love how well you get it to come across. I think even those who haven’t gone through traumatic ordeals can have a glimpse into what people who have go through with this. There’s a reason people don’t always immediately seek help. A lot of times it can feel almost invasive, and I wonder if he’ll experience any of that.


 


The part with Kreatcher really shows the character development from both the Golden Trio and the elf. I don’t think Harry would have ever thought to ask him any of that even a few months before, and Kreacher wouldn’t have dreamed to reveal his feelings in front of Harry. Harry, for all his strengths and all his love of people, has had an issue with empathy is some forms in the book. He has trouble a lot of times seeing from the view of someone he doesn’t like. Of course, part of this has to do with being a kid, but it didn’t help growing up as he did, which probably stunted a lot of his emotional development. I think seeing the horror of war really opened him up in that area.


 


I love how you’ve written Ron and how much he cares for his friends. Too often people write Ron more like how he was in the movie, but this portrayal shows the best of his traits. His humor. His thoughtfulness. His love of his friends.


 


Hermione very much comes through as the tough but caring sister role. She doesn’t let Harry off the hook, and calls him on how he’s treating himself. She watches out for him in a way that doesn’t hint at any romantic feelings like how they showed in the movie with such scenes. I’m here for it.


 


Overall the entire chapter was fantastic, and this still ended up as a huge review. Somewhere over 1300 words if Microsoft is to be believed. I may have gotten a bit carried away.


 


Well, I’m off for the next chapter. Sorry again for being late!



Author's Response:

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Hi, Kat!

 

I don't have any firsthand experience with survivors of armed conflict, so I'm really pleased that you feel like I'm portraying the symptoms well. One of the things I dislike most in the majority of post-war fics is the very black-and-white way the consequences are presented. In some stories, everyone wakes up the next day and everything is sunshine and roses ever after. In others, the characters can't seem to show an ounce of joy. I like to think the true outcome was more of a mix.

 

I'm very, very pleased that you like the characterization. There is no higher praise than to say they read like the actual books.

 

One of the things I'm planning to focus on a lot is Harry seeking a new purpose in life. He's been "The Boy Who Lived" since he turned 11 years old and "The Chosen One" since Dumbledore finally revealed the prophecy to him. It makes sense to me that he would suffer from feelings of having no direction once his great purpose was fulfilled.

 

Another big goal of mine is, for lack of a better way to put this, not allowing Ron to turn into "Idiot Boy Fan Fic Ron". I hate reading that characterization. I blame the movies for a lot of it.

 

I really hope to be able to do a lot with Kreacher's character in this story. House Elves are so under-appreciated. They're capable of so much and they actually seem quite complex to me.

 

Thank you so much for the long, detailed and thoughtful review!

 

-Dan



Name: MegGonagall (Signed) · Date: 15 Feb 2019 08:01 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: The Beginning After the End

Hey Dan! Here for our swap. 

 

Wow. I mean, just wow. This was such an amazing chapter. It legit felt like it could have been directly from the books, right where that part you quoted in the beginning left off. This was just so amazingly well done, and so true to each of their characters. I struggle SO much trying to write Harry, and you have it done flawlessly here. I meant to just read a little, and go take care of some things (minor adulting), but I couldn’t stop reading. I was immediately sucked in. Just, amazing. 

 

This chapter quickly became really heavy. But I appreciated the light moment in the beginning. With Hermione giggling, saying how much they all smelled hahaha. Yeah, I imagine they had to have smelled awful. Not only from the last two days of their lives, but from the months on the run overall. I’m sure there was only so much that spells could accomplish. Nothing beats an actual warm shower with soap and water. But that part was cute, that after everything that happened, they just had that small moment of laughing and not thinking about the deaths, or any of the other horribleness that happened. 

 

That was pretty heartbreaking with the twins, talking about Lavender. I know it isn’t specifically stated if she survived or not, but I always headcanoned that she died, too. It just seemed like Greyback’s attack was too bad to come back from. And I loved that the password was the lightning scar. 

 

Ron was great in this chapter. He was the Ron from the books, not the fool they made him to be in the movies. And you wrote him in a way that was true to his book character, yet also you saw the maturity in him. He was 100% Ron post coming back to them in the woods. You just did beautifully with him. Him making sure Hermione went to clean up first, then Harry. Putting the others before him. Seriously, I loved him here. 

 

I also really appreciate the way you’ve written Harry and Hermione’s bond. I never, ever, ever saw them as romantically compatible. I always saw the brother/sister bond that they had. And it was written to a T here. The way that Hermione just KNOWS when it comes to Harry. And how Hermione was always the solid foundation for Harry’s life. Their friendship is one of my favorites in the entire world, and you’ve done it so much justice. 

 

Okay, can we just talk about that part with Kreacher. Dan. I cried. Real, actual tears, falling from my face. My god, that, for whatever reason, hit me the hardest out of everything in this chapter. I know that Kreacher wasn’t always the easiest for them to be around, but that character’s complete 180 is one of my favorite character developments of the entire series. I mean, my cat’s name is Kreacher. I adore him. And showing the gratitude that Harry felt for him, and the respect that Kreacher now has for Harry, and that whole moment between them. Tears. Lots of them. *wails* 

 

I think it’s only natural for Harry to blame himself for those deaths. I think most people would, if they were in his shoes. Not saying any of them were his fault, but most people would feel like they were. Plus, that is 10000% true to Harry’s character. I’m glad Ron and Hermione forced him to eat, though. And called him out on how he was feeling. However, they could tell him a million times that none of the deaths were his fault, but it’ll take him finally realizing it for him to no longer feel guilt. 

 

Again, Ron. God, I just want to hug him. He’s putting aside his own grief to make sure he’s there for Hermione and Harry. Putting aside grief about the death of his own brother. Just to make sure he’s there for Hermione and Harry. We don’t deserve Ron Weasley. 

 

This was insanely incredible, Dan. Like, I know you’re an exceptionally great writer. I’ve known this for years now. But, that never stops me from being blown away each time I read something written by you. The raw talent you have is incomparable. You have such a gift, and it’s always such a pleasure to read your work. Thank you for doing the swap with me. I’m sorry it took forever. But sadly, I’ve been tied up this week with my family. Let’s do another one soon, when things slow back down for me a bit. 

 

Sending love and hugs, 

Meg 



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2018 08:42 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Insecurities

Hey Dan!

 

I'm back for one final Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review battle for December 2018 review!

 

Ginny is pissed again, but this time rightfully so. Ron and Hermione must've had her terrified not knowing if Harry was okay or not. And then to be stuck there for an hour waiting, not knowing what was going on. It must've been awful for her.

 

I thought the Auror thing was going to be a huge source of tension for her, but I was surprised that she was actually considerate about it. I like that she realizes she can't force Harry to choose her over a job without there being some resentment. It is a surprisingly mature decision for her to take time to think on the Auror bit.

 

Poor Ron is uncomfortable on the plane. Middle seats are a curse worse than extended torture. Poor baby had no idea what he was getting into when he tried to get Hermione to take the window seat. Sweet innocent soul. I do think it's a bit sad that he thinks for Hermione to love him that he can't do anything that makes him who he is. I know he cares about her and wants to support her, but pretending to be something he's not is excessive and only setting himself up for failure.

 

Aww. This last bit about Luna and Neville was depressing. It seems like Luna is usually immune to being down, but I suppose her dads tenuous condition and the ruins of her home are even too much for her. Neville is so sweet wanting to make it all better. I loved the little bit where she pulled away and told him he was repeating himself, but that it felt good.

 

My heart breaks a bit to think of them leaving Luna's home to head to the Burrow only to find the Burrow in ruins as well. I hope that maybe they send a message to Harry and end up at Grimmuald Place. It's the perfect spot for them for now.

 

Well, I'm sad to say that this is the last chapter you have posted so far, so you know what that means? You need to write more, preferably sooner than later. I'd really like to know what happens next. K, thanks. Bye for now!

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2018 07:33 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Short Goodbyes

Hey Dan!

 

I'm back for another Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review Battle for December 2018.

 

I think it's sad that Ron is telling his mum goodbye and she can't even hear him. I suppose it's the thought that counts though. And to be honest, I think it's for the best. I think Molly would go spare if she knew Ron and Hermione were going to take off on their own. She still thinks of them as children (and she isn't necessarily wrong) even though they've all been through hell and back.

 

Harry is so frustratingly stubborn. If he hadn't wasted all that time arguing with Proudfoot, they'd have been safely at Grimmuald Place and would've probably avoided the showdown at St. Mungo's. He's so proud and he doesn't want to have handlers, but sometimes he needs to realize there are reasons that people have been set in place to protect him.

 

That being said, the way Harry sussed out the imposter minister was very clever. He picked up right away that Proudfoot and the hit wizards were on edge. The way he calmly asked after Doge and reversed Doge's position was smart. Of course, real Kingsley would've corrected him, but the imposter wouldn't have known any better.

 

The battle was pretty vicious. It's a shame that Proudfoot got tortured and injured, but I'm glad everyone survived. Well...except for the false Hit Wizard, but who cares about him really?

 

Harry is so cute telling Ron and Hermione to get going. He's right though. If they don't leave immediately they'll never be allowed to go. I thought it was sweet that Ron wanted to give Harry a man hug. I'm sure it's super weird for them to be apart after all the time they've spent together. They truly are a bromance.

 

I liked Kingsley's rational about Harry's safety quite a bit. Problems definitely seem to follow him, so having more experience with dueling and safety measures would certainly be beneficial. It was pretty funny that Proudfoot was so put off by the whole thing.  I suppose she doesn't want the extra hassle to deal with.

 

Oh dear. I do not like Augusta one bit at all in this chapter. Luna may be Xenophelius' daughter, but she is nothing like him...and even if she was, that's no way for Augusta to behave. I get that Luna is a bit strange and that Neville behaves different around her, but Augusta was way out of line to talk about her the way she did. I don't get it. This seems very out of character for her.

 

 I feel like Robards will inevitable come around to his senses.

 

Another good chapter! So much happened in this one. On to the last one now I believe.

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2018 05:07 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: Small Accomplishments

Hey Dan!

 

I'm back for another Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review Battle for December 2018.

 

And here goes the sad stuff again. I'm glad that George came out and talked to Bill even if it was only a little bit. It's small, but it's progress. I just wish George didn't feel like he was such a burden. He isn't. All of the Weasley's would do anything to help him through his grieving. And like Bill said, he'd have done the same for any of them. I suppose if anyone's going to suffer from survivor's guilt though, it would be one twin who survived when the other one died.

 

I had a good giggle over Bill's comments about Fleur's cousin and her packaging methods. At least it got a slight reaction from George. It was a nice effort on Bill's part.

 

I'm glad that Harry is talking to Fleamont and Euphemia. He needs all the guidance, love, and support he can get. They might be portraits, but it's the closest thing he's ever had to biological family.

 

You know, Ginny really has an issue with hitting people. This is what the third time she's slapped Harry? She's also slapped Bill. I get that she's angry and upset, but it's really not okay to just hit people. Eventually Harry is going to tire of it.

 

That being said, she really has a point when she's going off about Dumbledore. I mean he expected three underqualified underage wizards to manage to just fumble through stuff that most adults couldn't even comprehend. But sometimes I do wonder if that was part of it. Like did Dumbledore pick children because they have more flexible imaginations? Perhaps, if he'd sent Kingsley or Minerva or really any other adult, their minds would've been to rigid and set to think outside of the box. Am I grasping at straws here?

 

You know, I'm convinced that Ginny is overblowing what her father and brothers might say about her staying at Grimmuald Place. I mean, she's been there for a fair bit already and I don't think it's exactly any secret that she's dating Harry. I don't think it would necessarily be the ideal situation for any of them, but I think everyone has more pressing concerns at the moment.

 

I know Harry feels a bit off about Proudfoot, but I actually like her. She's to the point and quite insightful.

 

I'm dying over the way Wilkie Twycross dressed Hermione down. Ha. He called her an overachiever. The fact that Harry, Ron, and even Proudfoot were stifling laughter was something I've been dying to read. I love Hermione. I love that she's so smart and detail oriented, but she can also be way too focused on the rules and overachieving. Maybe this will remind her to take it easy once in a while.

 

This is very intriguing that Harry was left an amended will. I wonder what it contains. I swear if there's anything in there that's to set him off on another adventure to kill some evil wizard, I will raise Dumbledore from the dead and kill him myself. Really what should be in there is some plane tickets to a tropical island and a good bottle of firewhiskey. Dumbledore owes him that much.

 

I'm glad that Ron finally told Mr. Weasley that he's going to Australia with Hermione. I was worried he might just up and disappear without telling anyone. I imagine that would really set everyone to working if one day he just wasn't there anymore. It looks like talking to Mr. Weasley was largely beneficial too as he had some very solid advice about avoiding detection. I swear Arthur doesn't get enough credit sometimes.

 

Aww. Ron can be a prat sometimes, but this isn't one of him. He's right that something is wrong with Ginny, but he's also right that tearing her away from Harry would only exacerbate the situation. She really does need some help though.

 

Of course, Ron and Hermione can't just go on their way. Something has to happen to stop them. Why are the fates so cruel Dan? Why can't things just go their way for once? Why must you pick on these poor babies?

 

Off to the next chapter now!

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2018 02:08 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:After Destiny Chapter: A Little Convincing

Hey Dan!

 

I'm back for another Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Review Battle for December 2018.

 

Kingsley is a very astute observer. He certainly learned strategy from Dumbledore, whether directly or indirectly. You can see him playing with his chess pieces in the way he instructs Harry to speak with Doge.

 

Poor Doge. He just wants some peace and quiet. Now, Harry is going to somehow convince him out of retirement. I really like how Harry convinced him in this case. It wasn't even so much convincing as it was just having a conversation. Once he got him all riled up about politics, I knew he would eventually join them. I love that Harry used it as a moment to bring Kingsley into the fray. It was deftly done.

 

I enjoyed Harry telling his story to Hermione, Ron, and Ginny. It sounds pretty positive if Doge and Kingsley were writing lists when he left. Figures Ron would be reading a Quidditch magazine instead of actively listening.

 

I know Harry and Ginny are in the throws of lust and first love, but it is a little obnoxious to be constantly climbing all over each other. I wonder when the hormones will settle down.

 

I'm glad that Hermione is starting to feel more comfortable with Ron. I am also glad she's discovering her sense of power over him. I think the idea that she's in control will definitely make things a lot easier for her to deal with.

 

Poor Ron is so excited when he recalls Seamus' story about the actor. He excitedly blurts it out and then quickly realizes he's stuck his foot in his mouth. Typical Ron.

 

I thought the ending where he's telling her that he's really trying hard was very sweet. That is one thing that you can never take away from him. He might mess up, but he always redeems himself.

 

Another very enjoyable chapter. Again, I'm glad for a couple of light chapters, although I'm sure there's still a lot of darkness to come.

 

~Kaitlin




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