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Reviews For The Department

Name: Unwritten Curse (Signed) · Date: 01 Sep 2018 02:57 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 1

Hello my love! I thought it was about time I checked out this story since our conversation over on Twitter. It sounded really interesting when you were telling me about Sirius's job and this first chapter definitely has my attention! There are so many things that I liked, so let me try to not forget any of them...

 

First, I have to comment on Sirius's reaction to learning about Regulus's death. Kayla, it was perfect. I love his insistence on asking if the sources were accurate--his denial, his urgency. God, it broke my freaking heart. It felt authentic and true to character. Sirius still loves his brother and, though they haven't spoken in presumably years, this news breaks him.

 

I also love how the process to become and Auror has been "sped up" because of Voldemort's reign of terror, but becoming an Auror now means doing boring paperwork for a while before actually getting to do the work that Sirius obviously wants to do. That was a really interesting detail.

 

And OMG James. How freaking sweet is his concern for his friend? I mean, chashing him around the office when he starts acting off. I love it. And I love that they work together.

 

OKAY BACK TO REGULUS BECAUSE I'M SO SAD. It breaks my heart again that Sirius doesn't know what Regulus really did. I mean, his brother is a HERO and he doesn't even know. Does he ever find out? Like, I don't even know if it's in canon that he discovers the truth. Who does discover the truth? Please tell me Sirius does. Otherwise I will probably combust.

 

Okay, I'm exhausted and this review probably makes no sense but I will be back soon to read more.



Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 24 Aug 2018 11:44 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 6

Hi, Kayla. I came back again. This chapter let us have a break after the intense scene such as the relationship between Sirius and his mother in the previous chapter. Romance between Remus and Sirius makes us feel relieved. You wrote about Lupin’s characteristics so great. Readers feel easy about the existence, Remus Lupin who always cares Sirius and Sirius can feel he is safe by Remus.

 

 

 

You added a new happening in this chapter, late arrival of James and Lily. They were followed by someone. Readers wonder if Voldemort  had already found out the prophecy about their future son, Harry. Or I wonder if Voldemort tried to recruit James Potter and Sirius Black into his inner circle since they were from the Pure-Blood family.   

 

 

 

Oh, you let Dumbledore enter here again. It’s very intriguing. What did Sirius think of actually? The key to know something important for his brother’s death?

 

“Certain procedures involve reporting to the Ministry” must be the key to solve the problem. I wonder what plot popped up in your mind, Kayla! Please update soon. And thank you for participating in my story challenge!

 

 

K

 



Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 24 Aug 2018 11:09 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 5

Hi, Kayla. I came back to your Sirius. I know you have struggled to continue this story. I hope you will continue writing about Auror Sirius after the Auror's Tale Story Challenge Season 4 .

 

I understand you wanted to focus on the circumstances around his mother and his brother. Their relationship is very complicated and I can take in agony which makes the protagonist more attractive, especially, he has the possibility that he will do something brave later. My expectation gets high, Kayla. Please continue this story.

 

I think you did a great job with the description of an inexperienced Auror, Sirius Black. He is still reckless and easy to get angry and hard to calm his emotion down. It’s understandable that he had just became a trainee and the dark era let Sirius and James get suspicious about their senior Aurors.

 

As Dumbledore knew Sirius very well, he didn’t allow him to talk with some students at Hogwarts. You set the plot which let us wonder which Slytherin student might know the process how Regulus was murdered. It’s very intriguing.

 

 The most impressive spot is definitely the scene when his mother tried to cast the Unforgivable Curse against her own son. Sadly, readers remember how she had hated Sirius and abused him.

I guess she loved Regulus, but I wonder if he could love her back. It might be pressure for him to be loved like that. We can feel that from the way how he blamed Sirius as a ghost. Always the younger brother (or sister) knows how to deal with their parents better, to let them feel happy. But you plotted one more element, Reulus also felt his mother’s love and expectation as a burden.

 

Honestly, it’s very promising. J.K.Rowling also wrote the complicated situation about the protagonist’s family in her Cormoran Strike’s series (a kind of detective story, mystery and crime). So I’ll send you cheers.

 

K  



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 18 Aug 2018 06:09 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 1

Quodpot Review: Match 2

 

Hey Kayla! Figured I'd drop you a quick review on this since it fits the action/adventure tag.

 

I like the hook you used at the start of the story - it definitely sets up the chapter for action far beyond the tedious desk work we see Sirius doing at the start of the story. On that note, I definitely can understand the Ministry's motive to switch to a one-year intensive program instead of a three-year one - at this point in time, they definitely need all the help they can get.

 

You write Sirius' thoughts so well in this, especially given the news he received. I really think your continued repetition of "Regulus Black is missing, presumed dead" helped play into Sirius' shock, as well as his immediate reaction to chase down the Auror responsible. Who, by the way, doesn't strike me as the most observant of women, given that Sirius and Regulus share the same last name and therefore it should've been relatively obvious to her that they were at least tangentially related. (Of course, there's also the chance that she just didn't know Sirius' name, which wouldn't be all that uncommon for a more senior employee with a group of trainees in the office.)

 

But oh my gosh, the ending of this chapter was so good. Sirius finds out that his brother was trying to leave the bad side of things, and was killed in the process - which is so much worse than if Regulus had still been on the Death Eater side of things, because now Sirius knows that his brother didn't die fighting for a terrible cause or anything like that.

 

I'm really intrigued to see how you progress from here into the rest of the story!

 

-Taylor



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 13 Aug 2018 11:25 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 6

Hello again!

 

Back for another Quodpot Match 3 review because somehow this chapter has zero reviews.

 

Let me start by saying I’m so glad that Sirius and Remus are good. I think Sirius really needs him right now. With all the messed up spiraling around him, he needs the stability of Remus’ love.

 

I wonder who was following James and Lily. That’s definitely worrisome that order members are being tailed.

 

I like that Sirius is so interested in child welfare laws. I think he and Regulus were both failed by the system. Officials at school or in the government should’ve helped them. Seems a lot like the CPS system in the real world.

 

I’m curious if Dumbledore is going to question James about the “recipe” Sirius just handed him. Clearly, they aren’t trading secrets about quiches. Surely, he’ll be suspicious of that behavior.

 

I’m curious to see what direction you go with this. I like the way it’s building up so far, but I see a couple of different ways it could go. Will Sirius continue to seek out this kid and find a youth who is being subjected to abuse? Will he pursue changes in the child protective system? Will he find answers about Regulus? Hurry up and post more soon.

 

~Kaitlin



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 13 Aug 2018 10:57 PM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 5

Hey Kayla,

 

Just Dropping by to catch up on your story and leave you a review for Quodpot Match 3 since this chapter has no reviews yet!

 

Well Sirius always was a hothead. This seems very fitting with his character. The impulsive desire to find a student, him going to Dumbledore, visiting Grimmuald Place. None of it is very well thought out. He needs to stop and settle down a bit before he gets someone hurt.

 

Im glad that James at least tries to stop Sirius. He’s right. Getting a child killed possibly will not bring Regulus back and will only really confirm things they already know.

 

To be honest, I’m surprised Walburga talked to Sirius at all. I guess in her grief she must’ve taken a moment to register her hatred and rage. You’d think Regulus’ death might be bonded the two of them. Instead it just solidified the wall of differences between them. The attack was pretty horrific. I’m glad that Sirius was able to get his wand back.

 

I’m glad that Remus saw Sirius breakdown at the end. I hope he will get Sirius some help.

 

Good chapter! I’m off to the next one now.

 

~Kaitlin



Name: dreamgazer220 (Signed) · Date: 22 Jul 2018 08:33 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 1

Hey, penpal! I'm here for our swap and I am finally getting around to reading this story I've heard so many good things about ♥

This is an amazing first chapter! I love the first opener; it's a good hook that comes circuluar to the last line, and it's sort of reminiscent to the 'perfectly normal' day the Durselys are having on Privet Drive when Harry's dropped off on their doorstep. It really draws you in, and you kept my attention throughout the whole first chapter because I wanted to find out what it was that made his life turned upside down.

The suspense was definitely there. I love all the small details that you gave us about the Auror office, and how Sirius can't see them but he knows/senses they're happening, because that's just like every other day. It makes a ton of sense, especially in an office setting. I also thought the Ministry changing the Auror program to a one-year intensive training instead of a three-year program made a ton of sense and was a brilliant move on their part, because they probably needed more people who sort of knew what they were doing.

And then you just kind of drop the news in a report. Ugh, Sirius. MY HEART. I can't imagine what he must be feeling, but I like how you described it. I'm so so glad that James was there for him when he found out, and you did a great job of showing their relationship in just a few sentences of dialogue. They clearly care about each other so much, which we know from canon, of course, but it's nice to see on screen, too ♥

Ugh, I just want to hug Sirius, okay? LET ME HUG HIM.

And the last line is just the perfect punch. I want to know more. I want to see how this story unfoldsand how Sirius deals with Regulus' supposed death, and how James deals with it, and how Remus and Peter come into play. It was interesting that they weren't around for the first chapter, but totally makes sense and I want to know what they're up to! 

This is an fantastic first chapter! Keep up the excellent work ♥



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 19 Jul 2018 04:08 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 1

Hi Kayla! Here with the third of your prize reviews. <3

 

I think I read this a while ago for FROGS but I never got around to reviewing it. So I’m really thankful that I have the chance to review it now. And I thought I’d concentrate the rest of your prize reviews on this story, because I know you’re still working on it and so I’m here to cheer you on!

 

Okay so this chapter was short but a really, really good set-up. We’re in some alternate universe where James and Sirius aren’t a part of the Order of the Phoenix, and Sirius is in the process of getting his dream job (except he doesn’t really like being at the desk lol). And when he saw his brother’s name on the list, my heart stopped for a second. Because, like, siblings are siblings, and he clearly still loved his brother despite everything, and Regulus Black is one of the better redeemed characters in Harry Potter, and I know that if I saw one of my sisters’ names on there, I would panic.

 

I thought Sirius’s reaction was so well-written. His anger, guilt, fear are all so strong and present, and I really felt for him all throughout this chapter. And if I found out that my sibling died trying to run from a monster, I would react the exact same way as Sirius.

 

I can’t wait to read on! <3

 

~Eva



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 20 May 2018 11:53 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 2

Hey Kayla!

 

I'm here for gryffie tag! I'm so pleased to make it back to this to review it!

 

I'm always in awe about your characterisation of Sirius. It's just how much you know him. You could put him in any situation as you would know how he acts. it's so natural, everything about Sirius' emotions in this chapter feel so realistic. your own Sirius head-canon seems to fit seamlessly to the canon-Sirius.

 

The first scene is just lovely, sometimes writing romance isn't about the big gestures but a bit little moments that make up a relationship. These scenes are so beautifully written, not over done but you get a real sense of their relationship and how close they are. I'm so happy that Sirius has the support from Remus. 

 

I love how Sirius wants to go to the Order Meeting that his loyalty (and probably desire for some normality). Dumbledore's words/warning is pretty intense and really highlights the danger of the war. I just have to say though I love Sirius' biting words here - ‘hey, I was wrong after all, genocide is great and also I'm straight now' - just love that savage reaction, it's great! Great chapter Kay! :D

 

- Abbi xo

 

 



Author's Response:

Hey Abbi!

 

Awww I love to hear that people like the way I write Sirius <3 It makes my heart happy!

 

I'm also happy to hear that you liked the first scene. I'm kind of fumbling around a little with my portrayal of Remus/Sirius as a couple in this story, because I'm not used to them being in the background, in a way.

 

Thanks so much for the lovely review, I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter!

 

-Kayla <3



Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 01 Jan 2018 10:35 AM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 4

Hi, Kayla! Thank you for doing job as a Prefect on the forums untill the end of 2017. And Happy New Year! (I lost the track for the number of those prize reviews at Auror's Tale story challenge season 2, but I'll keep reading this, so never give up updating your story and your Sirius, Kayla!)

 

Reading your fic has helped me with understanding new vocabs and imagined the dark hallway, staircase of Grimmauld Place and his mother's shriek. I felt pity for Sirius. Then, wow it's unexpected. Regulus showed up in front of him. The way to let Regulus appear in front of Sirius is great! I like this spot: Her shrieks, mercifully, fade out after a while, and the house goes silent. Eerily silent. Normally, even in the absence of yelling, there are sounds that carry through the house; but now it's as though he's underwater or something. All he can hear is his own blood rushing in his ears.

 

How shocking it must be that Sirius faced his brother who had already been a ghost. We can guess Regulus came back as a ghost from the place where Voldemort hid one of his Horcruxes. It's intriguing that he seemed to have died having a grudge against Sirius.

 

 

Poor Sirius, he couldn't sleep well after he came back to the place where usually he had slept with Remus. Then you wrote the scene with Auror Viola and she came to him to say something. I got thrilled expecting he might find a clue to his brother's death.

  

Oh did I tell you Kayla, how much I like the tone of each conversation you create? I enjoyed each scene of Sirius's talking with Viola and James. Reading them aloud is comfy as well.

  

After Lily and Peter joined them, the flow of this story is continued smoothly. Readers will feel Lily's sympathy towards Sirius from your excellent description and their conversation.

  

It's unlucky for them that they can't trust the Auror office nor the Order's function for investigation around Breckenridge's case and for Sirius's sake, Regulus.

  

I can't wait for reading how you’ll develop this question from here. 

 

 



Author's Response:

Hello Kenny!

 

I like the idea of Regulus being a sort of ghost. It's just a dream but I think, in a way, he really is haunting Sirius. But part of it is also Sirius's own feelings of guilt just... manifesting. So everything Regulus says isn't necessarily how Regulus felt, you know?

 

I always feel like my dialogue isn't very good, so I'm REALLY happy that you liked the conversations!

 

It definitely is unlucky for them. But it was kind of hard to know who to trust and what the best way to go about things was, unfortunately.

 

Thanks for the review, Kenny! I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter!

 

-Kayla



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2017 08:48 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 4

So, I'm back again.

Oh, my god, that nightmare. It was so horrible. I never thought about Sirius feeling guilty towards Regulus for leaving him behind when he ran away from home, but it makes total sense. Regulus was as much of a victim of their abusive parents as Sirius was and you show it so well here.

I felt so bad when Sirius woke up to find that Remus wasn't sleeping beside him. I wish he just admitted that he's NOT fine and that he DOES need help. But he wouldn't be Sirius in that case, would he?

What Viola did was very touching, I wonder what she went through herself. I'm glad Sirius felt grateful for it, despite still not being satisfied.

I loved the moment between Sirius and Lily, you can tell they have a sweet relationship. Also, I love that she is so perceiving and not scared of calling things with their names, Sirius needs a push in the right direction and I'm glad Lily is doing just that.

So, this is what James has been working on. Personally, I think he should inform Gorham, but I guess talking to Dumbledore first won't hurt.

The tension between Sirius and Remus is killing me, I really hope they'll work it out soon...

Another lovely chapter! :)



Author's Response:

Yay, hi!

 

Sirius Black acting like an emotionally healthy person? Sounds unrealistic. :')

 

We're going to learn more about Viola in upcoming chapters (or at least that's the plan!)

 

I'm glad you enjoyed the way I wrote Lily, I've only written her in one other story before so I don't have much experience to fall back on!

 

Thank you for the review! <3

 

-Kayla



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2017 07:50 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 2

I love the  description of Remus in the beginning, it really shows how close Sirius and Remus are in the way that Sirius can read all of Remus' different moods even though the two versions of calm look almost identical.

 

Sirius' state of mind after finding out about his brother's death is really well written and fits in to what you've established of his characterization. He's still in shock, but ultimately he needs to be doing something in order to not dwell, that's what helps him cope (or just not think about it), so he goes to the meeting.

 

Once again you do a really impresive job of getting into Sirius' head, and right now it's not a pleasant place to be, he's sulky and depressed, and you never say any of that directly, but it's in the silences and how he gets lost in his head and doesn't have the energy to not sound bitter and short with people. Of course, this is understandable considering what he's just been through. I feel so bad for him and I'm really glad that he has the other Marauders looking out for him, even in he insists he doesn't need it all the time.

 

Dumbledore's request is... interesting. Poorly timed, for sure, because he literally just lost his brother to that group. And it's very like Dumbledore to ask something like that of him, because when you really think about it, he used Harry as a tool to win the second war for Harry's particular abilities/chosen one status, whatever. He is very strategic and sees the different things people offer and how to use that to their side's best advantage, but sometimes I don't think he considers the emotional effects of that. It was true with Harry and it's true how you;ve written it here.

 

Another wonderful chapter ♥



Author's Response:

You are so kind! It really means a lot to me to hear that people like the way I write Sirius.

 

Sirius is definitely the bottle-it-up-until-it-explodes type, in my humble opinion, so that's definitely the direction I decided to take it in. I also definitely view Dumbledore as someone who really never lost his "For The Greater Good" viewpoint, just... redirected it. And so here we are!

 

I'm so happy that you enjoyed this chapter, thank you for the lovely review! <3

 

-Kayla



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2017 07:47 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 3

Hi again! :)

I love that you managed to put in a Sirius/serious pun, that never gets old. :P

Poor Sirius... he's still so hurt, which is totally understandable. He probably should really follow everyone's advice and take some time off, but at the same time I understand that he wants to do something, just because he can't stand staying there crying over himself, right?

I love your characterization of him, by the way. You capture so well his rage and stubbornness and passion. And I love the characterization of all the other Marauders, too. They are all so perfect.

I'm wondering what James found out, by the way. And now I'm also curious about Viola's source... but it will all be explained in due time, I guess. Sirius does need to control himself, though.

I probably should say more, but I guess I'll just move to the next chapter now.

Great job, as always!

Chiara



Author's Response:

Why hello!

 

I can never resist a good Sirius/serious pun, to be honest :'D

 

I definitely imagine Sirius as a big do-er and someone who wants to stay better. Like, think how depressed he gets in OotP when he's just locked in Grimmauld Place and can't help the Order - that definitely has to do with Grimmauld Place itself, but I can't imagine him feeling too differently somewhere else in that scenario.

 

You're too sweet! I really can't tell you how happy it makes me that you like my Marauders!

 

Yay, I got you all curious about what's coming next! ;)

 

Thanks for the review! <3

 

-Kayla



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2017 07:34 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 1

Hi Kayla! I keep hearing great things about this story so I guess it's about time to read it!

 

AHH okay I wasn't prepared for it to start like this :'( But it's a very effective start. Before we get to all my feelings about the second half of the chapter, I'll start with the beginning - I like that James and Sirius are Aurors (or rookie Aurors at least). For Sirius in particular it seems like just the perfect thing for him to do because he's the sort of person who really wants to make a difference and can't sit idle if horrible things are happening. (So it must be just awwwwful for him to be stuck at a desk.)

 

And then that report - my heart broke a little. For all Sirius says about how Regulus was just like the rest of his family and he was an idiot and whatever, I've always had this headcanon that Sirius really cared about Regulus, even if he'd never admit it to anyone. And what a horrible way for him to find out what happened to his brother. A filed report. (I can't believe they gave that report to him)

 

Your characterisation of Sirius is wonderful too (this comes as no surprise really :P ) - how he jumps up and has to get to the bottom of this  and is understandably angry and upset, and doesnt realize he's yelling. That's just what I'd expect in these circumstances - you do a great job iwth his character.

 

I am glad that he knows that Regulus wasn't just a Voldemort supporter to the end, though. But... that doesn't really make it any easier, I suppose. He's still dead. Poor Sirius :(

 

This is a great first chapter and I'm interested to see how things develop now that Sirius has this news. excellent writing!



Author's Response:

Hi! :D

 

Yay, "effective" is one of my favourite words when it comes to this story! I get really nervous about the way I go about things with this fic, because it's outside of my comfort zone in so many ways (Sirius aside, lol).

 

Yes, poor Sirius! It's very contradictory - he's an Auror because he wants to be fighting Voldemort, not just sitting around, and now here he is, fighting Voldemort by sitting around :'D

 

I'm definitely going to be delving deeper into Sirius and Regulus's relationship in this story. A big part of why I'm writing it is honestly a desire to unpack Sirius's feelings towards his brother.

 

I love Sirius compliments <3 thank you so much!

 

I'm really glad you enjoyed this chapter, thank you so much for stopping by! <3

 

-Kayla



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2017 12:34 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 2

Hey! Hi again!

I loved the premise so I had to read on...

Your description of Remus' expression, the pressed lips the only give-away for his worry... that was so beyond perfect for his character! And how annoyed Sirius is that Remus insists on keeping his Muggle job because he wants to contribute... such perfect characterization of the both of them in such a short space and so little details, I love it! (You know I have a love for Remus, so I just appreciate it so much)

I'm still feeling so bad for Sirius. The loss of his brother must have been so terrible, and not knowing exactly what happened and how and why must be even worse. I just want to cuddle him. I also really want him to know the truth, to be able to be proud of Reg, but that just won't happen...

So, I've always had mixed feelings for Dumbledore, but I'm sort of hating him right now. He shouldn't ask that of Sirius, especially not in a moment like that. But it is for the Greater Good, isn't it? *rolls eyes* Btw, I'm quite impressed by how well you wrote Dumbledore. I always find him so difficult to write.

I'm also quite impressed by how James stood up to Dumbledore and tried to defend Sirius. The Marauders' friendship is always such a joy to read and it's so lovely how grateful Sirius felt for his friends' loyalty, despite being annoyed bit annoyed that they are trying to "babysit" him. I'm sorry for the slight coldness between him and Remus in the end, but I know it will be solved soon anyway so I'm not worried. I just hope Sirius will feel better soon.

Great chapter again!



Author's Response:

Hi again!

 

I always like to include little details, like descriptions of expressions and such. I'm glad you enjoyed that! And I'm also really glad that you liked my characterization.

 

Hahaha, I really don't like Dumbledore, so this story is a little bit biased. But yes, he's very focused on The Greater Good. It's really fantastic to hear that you were impressed by Dumbledore, he's SO hard to write and I get really nervous about it! So it's really great to hear that you think I'm pulling it off, hahaha.

 

I also really love receiving Marauders compliments, hahaha. So thank you <3

 

-Kayla <3



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2017 09:35 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 1

Hey, Kayla!

Finally taking the chance to start reading this!

Oh, my Merlin! Poor Sirius! It's only the first chapter and you already broke my heart! What a terrible way to find out about Regulus... I have tears in my eyes... it's so horrible...

I love how this start, with a normal day of work as an Auror. I love that both James and Sirius chose that carrier, totally my headcanon! :)

"Low-risk duties", unsurprisingly, translates to "desk work" I'm not even slightly surprised by this, and I'm not slightly surprised that Sirius finds it a bit annoying, either. He isn't the kind of person who likes to sit behind a desk when he could be out there fighting, is he? :P

It was so hurtful when he read that Regulus was dead. It felt so impersonal, too, just a little notice, like it helds no importance at all. That also is very close to my headcanon, Sirius finding out by chance, reading it somewhere where it isn't given much thought at all. His reaction was totally understandable and completely in character for him. I bet Viola was mortified when she realized what the matter was...

Poor Sirius... Can I just hug him tight? This was so terribly sad!

I shall be back soon. Great job for now.

Much love and snowball hug,

Chiara



Author's Response:

Hey Chiara!

 

Aw, I'm sorry for breaking your heart! I just wanted to throw you right into the action, is all!

 

Sirius would definitely want to be all up in the thick of things, so yeah, rationally he's happy to have the job but in practice he's very bored :')

 

You can hug him if you'd like ;)

 

I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, thank you for the review! <3

 

-Kayla



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 05 Dec 2017 08:08 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 4

Ooh my goodness, you gave me chills with that opening scene in this chapter!  Honestly, the image in that was so scary - I had goosebumps as I was reading it.  It was such a brilliant way to open the chapter, because I was pulled straight in, wondering why on earth Sirius had gone back to Grimmauld Place and was expecting he might see his mother.  I realised pretty early that it was a dream, but the image of Regulus standing there was just so gruesome, and I think it'll stay with Sirius for a while.  I loved the way that you actually kind of told Sirius what had happened to Regulus with that dream, but he can't understand it and focuses on the guilt.

 

I was actually pretty surprised to see Viola turn up at Sirius's desk and offer him the information that she could actually share.  I guess it's because you've done such a wonderful job of recreating the atmosphere of the war, and the tension that just never seems to let up and leaks into private lives as well, but I'm suspicious of EVERYONE in this story.  

 

Still, I kind of like her more for doing that for Sirius?  But I don't know if I can trust her.  What if she's just trying to trick him into following a certain line, or to get him into trouble?  Argh, so many questions!

 

Breakfast for tea is an excellent meal choice.  Just saying.

 

I enjoyed reading the Marauders and Lily spending time together again, but the obvious tension between Sirius and Remus made me so sad.  Sirius is trying so hard to push everyone away and doesn't want to talk about Regulus, but it's not going to make anything better by second-guessing what Remus will say and avoiding him because of it.

 

Sirius, you're making me sad.

 

The information about Breckenridge is really interesting - I'm glad that we got to find out what James has been hiding here, and I think he's got a good theory about the Auror and did well to notice.  I'm intrigued about how it's going to be handled, and whether he really is under the Imperius Curse.

 

You're pacing this so well, and I think you've done a wonderful job of capturing the mystery here - I'm so intrigued about what's coming next, and now I can pester you again!

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

Oooh, okay, now that's what I like to hear! I really debated with myself over the dream because, like you say, it actually kind of tells Sirius what really happened to Regulus - but in the end, I thought the imagery was too good to pass up, so here we are.

 

I wasn't expecting Viola to spark so many questions, but it's kind of exciting that she has! I guess that means I'm being very mysterious, which is fun and also opens up a lot of plot possibilities for me :'D

 

I don't know why but breakfast is so much better as a meal when it's not breakfast time :') Especially late-night breakfasts!

 

Please pester away! I need all the pestering I can get tbh, or this darn story is never going to get finished, I swear.

 

Thank you for the lovely review, Sian! You're the best <3

 

-Kayla



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 05 Dec 2017 07:45 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 3

Are you sick of me yet? :P

 

Sirius sneaking out to avoid talking to Remus is very believable.  Not everyone wants to talk about things when something bad as happened - at least, not right away, and sometimes it's actually easier to deal with something like this by distracting yourself and occupying your mind, rather than wallowing and dwelling on it.  I feel a bit sorry for Remus, but I can definitely understand Sirius's reaction.  To be honest, it's relateable as well as being in character for him.

 

I love the fact that even when he wants to get away from Remus, his favourite cafe is La Luna :P

 

I'm intrigued about Tracy Hawthorne - I'm not sure if her name is just mentioned because it's another person that James and Sirius used to know, which shows how far-reaching this war is, or whether she's got more to do with it.  But seriously, who tells their classmates off for talking about their parents a certain way, especially if they don't know them?

 

I'm SO CURIOUS about whatever James has to say to Sirius.  Honestly.  You did such a great job of dripping that intrigue in throughout the chapter and not letting us forget that James has stumbled across something at work.

 

I felt kind of sorry for Peter in the scene when he was talking about St. Mungo's?  It must feel so horrible to work there during a period when major incidents are as common as they sound, especially because he probably feels pretty powerless to stop it.  I also liked the way that what he's exposed to in that position affecting his choice later on.

 

I think Sirius definitely cares about Regulus far more than he lets on, or wants to admit to himself - we can see that when he's trying to get Viola's source from her.  I'm wondering who her source is, but since we know that Regulus did die, it sounds like someone reliable.  Gorham seemed pretty harsh, and not really sympathetic to Sirius's position, but I can understand his attitude when he's trying to run a department that is struggling to cope with the demands of the war.  

 

I can't wait to carry on to the next chapter!

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

I will never be sick of you, Sian! <3

 

Poor Sirius, he's definitely the type (imo) to not want to talk about things but also to bottle things up to the point of it being unhealthy. :( But even when he's in emotional distress and avoiding Remus, he's still a little bit of a sap, secretly ;) (I'm glad you caught La Luna, hahaha)

 

LOL I really want to respond to so much of this but I can't without spoiling things ;~; So just let me say thank you very much for the lovely review, and hopefully I'll be able to answer some of your questions in the story soon before I accidentally spoil everything!

 

Love,

Kayla



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 05 Dec 2017 07:25 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 2

Kayla!  Apparently I haven't stopped by to review this yet even though I beta'ed it??

 

The way that Sirius felt so distant from the narrative at the beginning of this chapter was really effective in reminding us of the shock that he's experienced in learning about Regulus, and how much it's affected him already.  I thought it was a great way to segue back into the story and the scene with Remus.

 

I loved the way that you've built up the relationship between the two of them here.  I mean, I'm not surprised, obviously, but I thought you managed to show us in very few words how well they know each other, and what the dynamics are in the relationship.  They both care so much about each other, obviously, and Remus doesn't want Sirius to go rushing to the Order meeting if he's not ready, but it's also good to see the give and take in the way that they've adapted to each other; Remus keeping calm in response to some of the things that Sirius says, and the way Sirius acknowledges that Remus wants to earn his own way.

 

The Order meeting was interesting to read, and I thought that you managed to show how detached and disconnected Sirius was feeling during that time, like the words were just washing over him.  But the conversation with Dumbledore was great - I loved the way that he understood that Sirius would tell his friends anyway.

 

Given the fact that we know what Dumbledore asked of people like Snape, I'm not surprised at all that he'd ask this of Sirius, but it's so worrying - I can see him getting into trouble with this very easily, and I feel like Dumbledore could definitely have waited until he was in a better frame of mind to ask him.  Then again, there's a war to be won, I suppose...

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

Hello!

 

You are really too kind, all of your reviews are just so lovely! Tbh I am a bit surprised with myself for pulling off Wolfstar in this chapter, because really it's my first time writing them in a proper, functioning relationship (aside from in some very quick drabbles). It's been a lot more challenging than I expected :'D

 

The plan with Sirius is for the Greater Good, Sian!! Why would Dumbledore worry about Sirius's feelings? (/is bitter)

 

Thank you so much for the review! <3

 

-Kayla



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 04 Dec 2017 03:54 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 4

Hey Kayla! 

 

Back for the 4th and final review (or at least until you post more chapters). Here you go being mean to poor Remus and Sirius again. Why can't they just love each other and be happy? My heart broke just a little bit at the end there. Remus is trying to be a good boyfriend and Sirius is shutting him out. I mean I understand not necessarily wanting to hash everything out, but at this point, Sirius isn't communicating at all. 

 

It's interesting about Breckinridge. It does sound pretty likely that he would be under the imperius curse. Either that or the Death Eaters have threatened someone he cares about...and that has made him distracted and sloppy. Pressure can certainly do that to someone. I'll be curious to see what ends up happening with that! 

 

I really enjoy how you write the interactions between all of the Marauders. You are such a natural with all of them. I'll admit that when James invited them all over, I totally thought he was gonna announce that Lily was pregnant, so nice surprise when it turned out to be work related.

 

I do hope that Remus and Sirius manage to reconcile a bit in upcoming chapters. I don't know if I can take much more of heartbroken Remus. 

 

Hope you update soon! 

 

Hugs,

Kaitlin



Author's Response:

Hahaha, you know me! I'm always terrible to Remus and Sirius, it's basically my hobby ;D

 

It's great that you seem to be intrigued about Breckenridge and coming up with theories about what's going on. I was worried that it would seem like James is imagining things, or something? Idk. But yeah, that makes me happy!

 

Unfortunately I did not update soon after this :'D But I did update eventually, lol!

 

Thanks for reading and for the lovely review <3

 

-Kayla



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 04 Dec 2017 03:33 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 3

Hello again! 

 

Back for the third enstallment of The Department! If you can't tell by my previous reviews, I absolutely adore this story! I think you've created such a believable story here. 

 

Sirius' reaction to all of this is honestly perfect. I totally get how he's feeling. I'm the same way. When something bad happens, I generally prefer to distract myself with work as well. Something about having tasks to focus on makes it easier to compartimentalize everything else.

 

I think it's sweet that Remus cares so much, but I can see why Sirius feels uncomfortable. Not everyone needs or wants to talk things through immediately. Sometimes it takes awhile to process feelings before one is able to adequately express them. Aside from that Sirius seems the type to sort of just bottle everything up and hope it doesn't explode. 

 

I did think Sirius' boss was sort of a royal jerk. Not even a shred of sympathy or understanding for the fact that Sirius found out in a shocking way that his brother has been murdered. I mean I understand him not wanting Sirius to get himself in trouble or harass other employees, but he could try for just a bit of compassion. 

 

All in all, I really like where this is heading so far! I'm off to read chapter 4 now! 

 

Hugs,

Kaitlin



Author's Response:

Hey!!

 

Awww <3 I'm so happy that you like this story!

 

I think it's definitely more common than people think to just react to shock/grief by wanting to stay as busy as possible. I do imagine Sirius like that, but I definitely do imagine him to be the type to bottle things up dangerously.

 

Yeah, Sirius's boss is kind of a jerk, huh? I guess it wouldn't be that uncommon for Aurors to lose people or to be dealing with death and he's gotten kind of brusque about it. But really, Sirius is really young and his even younger brother was just killed, so he probably could've been a little bit nicer.

 

Thanks for the review, Kaitlin!! Hugs <3

 

-Kayla



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 04 Dec 2017 02:52 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 2

Hello again! 

 

Back to review another excellent chapter! 

 

I love Sirius and Remus in this chapter. They are just so adorable together. I love all the little details that you put into their relationship. I appreciate how Remus has a job at a shitty bookstore to make a bit of money even though Sirius can easily support them both. That is so like Remus. 

 

I also love how when Dumbledore tries to talk to Sirius in private, he ends up having to speak with all of the Marauders. That's exactly  how I imagine them as well. I like too that you didn't exclude Peter. So many people go the route of writing Peter as vengeful or excluded, but based on canon, we know that he was as much a friend to them as any of the others. 

 

I'm really nervous about Sirius going undercover. I worry that the assignment would be really bad for his mental health, however, I can understand that it might provide the catharsis that he needs in regards to his brother's death. Plus, he might actually get some answers that way. Ugh. 

 

This also makes me nervous that you're preparing to torture poor Sirius in the next few chapters. Please, don't hurt him anymore. I'm not sure my heart could take it. 

 

Another great chapter and I'm on to chapter 3 now! 

 

hugs, 

Kaitlin



Author's Response:

Hello :D

 

Writing Sirius and Remus in this has been fun but challenging! I've never really written them like this before (in an established relationship, rather than one that's just starting or is falling apart or has already ended). So it's super good to hear that you enjoyed them in this chapter.

 

Hahaha, I definitely imagine the Marauders being like that in general, so it would only be heightened by them feeling protective over Sirius right now.

 

Kaitlin, you know me - I'm always preparing to torture poor Sirius ;) That's like my permanent state of being. But I won't say any more than that... you'll have to wait and see what happens!

 

Thanks for reading, I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter <3

 

-Kayla



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 04 Dec 2017 02:36 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 1

Hey Kayla! 

 

How did I never come over here and review this?! For as many times as I read this during editing, I should've definitely come and left my comments on the finished product. Forgive me for my negligence. 

 

You already know that I love how you write Sirius and James. In general, I really feel like you've got the Marauders pegged so well. You know what makes them really come to life! This story is no different. Sirius in this definitely seems a little bit less moody than he does in some of your other pieces, but there is still that dark edge bubbling with him. I mean he's just found out that his little brother is dead and if that doesn't thrust someone into angst and anger, I don't know what does. 

 

I love the concept of James and Sirius working for the Aurors. I think they'd both be excellent at it and would be driven for different reasons to excel in that particular career path. For Sirius, I imagine it would be an extension of his school years and his need to prove that he's nothing like his family. 

 

I'm really interested to see what path Regulus' death sets Srius onto. I mean I imagine he'll want to know how and why his brother died. Considering that Regulus always followed along with the family line, it must be hard for Sirius to imagine him being killed by Voldemort himself. 

 

I'm certainly intrigued about where this is going and I"m off to read more chapters right this very moment! 

 

Lots of love, 

Kaitlin



Author's Response:

Hey Kaitlin!

 

I'm not sure whether you'll see this belated response, seeing as you're off living your best life, but I'm gonna go ahead and respond anyway!

 

You sure know the way to my heart (Marauders compliments <3)! Sirius is only a little less moody than usual in this ;) His moodiness will definitely fluctuate over the course of the story.

 

I definitely imagine part of Sirius's motivation to be continuing to prove that he's not like his family, although I don't imagine that to be his only motivation (there's a healthy dose of wanting to stop Voldemort just because he's obviously reprehensible in there).

 

I'm so happy that you enjoyed the first chapter and were intrigued by it. Sorry for responding to this so late, but thank you very much for the lovely review <3

 

-Kayla



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 07:38 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 1

Kayla!

 

It's me again! Woo. So I totally have been meaning to read this for a while so I thought I would make a start now as such a good opportunity has presented itself!

 

So I really love the first sentence. It instantly grabs my attention as to what is going to come for the rest of the chapter, it's a good hook. I like how you've done the set up for the story. I thought all the little details about how the Auror office works is so clever and I'm sure that it's all from your own head canon so it's awesome that you've put all these carefully thought out little touches into the chapter because it really helps with realism and setting that scene of what Sirius' life is like.

 

I never thought too much about how Sirius found out about Regulus's death but honestly it's probably a really important point in Sirius' character development so it's interesting that you're going to explore and develop this event within the story. I think as always you know your character well so I found his quick reaction to be very true to his character but your charactersation of Sirius is always spot on because you know/like/understand him.  I thought this was a really strong set up for a wider story and hopefully I'll be back soon to explore this story more! Keep up the good work! 

 

- Abbi xo 

 



Author's Response:

Hey Abbi <3

 

Yeah, basically everything about the Auror's office is from my own headcanon. I'd say that stuff is by far the most challenging part of writing this story - figuring out how the Ministry and its departments actually function!

 

I'm really glad you thought this was a strong first chapter, and as always, thanks for the Sirius compliments ;) It's always lovely to get a review from you, so thank you for stopping by! <3

 

-Kayla



Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 04:01 AM · starstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Department Chapter: Chapter 2

Okay, so we’ve got some good things here. Sirius has a boyfriend. Remus works at a bookstore. You like how I’m focusing on the positive? You should try it sometime instead of making people suffer. jkjk I like the pain.

 

James’ scolding look at Remus for letting Sirius come to the meeting. omg James is the mom friend. I love it.

 

Oh, are James and Remus being Ministry spies? That’s interesting. As far as I know the ministry wasn’t as Bad then as in the Second War, but I’m sure the Auror files are still meant to be kept secret.

 

Having Dumbledore pull you aside after a meeting feels a lot like getting in trouble with the teacher after class, doesn’t it?

 

I don’t know if I’ve read other stories by you with Dumbledore, but I have to say you’ve done quite a good job capturing him! His mannerisms and tone both feel canon, as does his detached and manipulative way of dealing with people.

 

I love you, mom-friend-James, jumping in to protect Sirius.

 

“Genocide is great and also I’m straight now.” Perfect line is perfect (in wrong ways of course).

 

The line “Sirius can just say no anyway” feels really strong coming from Peter, he who failed to say no.

 

Already regretting that there are only two more chapters up!

 

Sam.



Author's Response:

Ahahaha! I'm so sorry for making you suffer, even if you do secretly love it.

 

I DEFINITELY imagine James as being a bit of a mom friend. Idk why but that's just how I picture him. I'm really glad you enjoyed it, because I'm always really insecure about writing James!

 

I was less thinking that James and Sirius (I'm assuming that's what you meant) were spying ON the Ministry, and more thinking that they're reporting any useful information they find THROUGH the Ministry (so yeah, just leaking file information, which I'm sure they're definitely not supposed to do haha). That being said, I do feel like Dumbledore would be perfectly happy to have people in place within the Ministry, just in case.

 

I don't think I've ever written Dumbledore before, and to be honest, it's really challenging! I find myself getting so intimidated, hahaha. So it's awesome to know you think I've done a good job!

 

Thanks so much for stopping by, Sam!

 

-Kayla



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