Name: Eros Mysterium (Anonymous) · Date: 27 Feb 2018 04:35 PM · For: A Niffler of a trick

Hello! I know it's after the Secret Cupid deadline, but I wanted to add this anyway.

 

First of all, this is such a Fred and George thing to do, and I'm quite proud of both of them. It was clever, successful, and most importantly of all, it was just the type of thing I can see them doing. Good-natured humor.

 

My one slight qualm with this is a continuity error- Hagrid had not yet begun teaching Care of Magical Creatures when Fred and George were in their fourth year. But since I love Hagrid so much in this, I don't really care.

 

Seriously, Hagrid's interactions with the twins were brilliant. 

 

Also, poor Roger Davies.

 

This was a great little story and I loved it very much!

Author's Response:

This response is for the sandcastle game.

 

Hey there, thank you for the review!

 

Aha, yeah, I tried to find something that seemed like something they'd do, so more on the funny side of things rather than mean.

 

Ah yeah, I think I got the timelines mixed up, my bad! Glad it didn't take from the story too much and I'm sure I could go through and change it, I don't think it would change the story too much. 

 

Thank you again though, I'm glad you liked it! 

-Shaza :) 

Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 07 Sep 2017 03:33 PM · For: A Niffler of a trick

Happy Shaza Appreciation Month!

A story about the twins I am so here for this.

Bahaha oh those twins are a handful.  I thought this was very in character - their prank was mostly just chaotic, and not mean spirited. Besides, it targeted all of the Ravenclaws equally (well, almost equally... I guess Roger did get some extra leprechaun gold). Poor Ravenclaws though, they must have been quite alarmed, and then being chased by all the Nifflers :P

Hagrid's reaction was pretty amusing as well, like it takes him a minute of watching chaos unfold to realise that he needs to maintain order because it's just out of control otherwise. I'm glad he didn't get too annoyed at the twins for disrupting his class - he seemed to be more amused than annoyed at the twins, or at least was unsurprised to catch them causing mischief. He is a very good sport about it!

This was a fun story. Great job!

 

 

Author's Response:

This response is for the sandcastle game.

 

Hey there, thank you for the review!

 

Yeah, I love reading about the twins, they're such fun characters. I'm glad you thought it was in character, I was aiming for more harmless fun rather than mean. 

 

Aha, yeah the Ravenclaws must have got quite a shock, as well as Hagrid! I think he would have definilty been more amused rather than annoyed so I'm glad that came across, I think he's got a soft spot from them. 

 

Thanks again the review, I'm glad you liked it.

-Shaza :) 

Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 22 Jul 2017 09:59 AM · For: A Niffler of a trick

Hi, Shaza, dear! Here for our swap! :)

I never read Fred and George stories, but I really should do that more often... I so loved this, it was so much fun! :D

Poor Ravenclaws, that must be scary, to be chased by and horde of Nifflers like that (even if when I think of Nifflers I have the image of the Niffler from the Fantastic Beasts movie and I think that they are so cute...) Anyway, I loved the way you wrote all the chaos and panic, it was so well done and convincing and just super funny! Ahahah!

I think you did a great job at writing Fred and George, they were really in character and so well done! :D And Hagrid, too! I loved that he needed a moment to realize that he should act, and that he seemed amused more than angry as he gave the twins detention. I'm quite sure it won't be that bad... :P

Lovely work on this, I really had fun reading.

Thank you so much for the swap! :D

Much love and snowball hug,

Chiara

Author's Response:

This response is for the sandcastle game.

 

Hey Chiara, thank you for the review!

 

Aha, yeah I feel like there wasn't a lot of Fred and George centric fics when I wrote this but they are a lot of fun to read about. 

 

Nifflers do seem really cute but I agree it must have been really scary for the ravenclaws, especially since they wouldn't have known why they were being chased. Thank you though, glad you thought it was convincing!

 

Thank you, as I said i think they're a lot of fun to both read but also write! Aha, detention will definitly not be that bad for them, Hagrid was definitly more amused with them. 

 

Thanks again for the review, I'm glad you liked it! 

-Shaza :)

 

 

Name: caomoyl (Signed) · Date: 08 Jul 2017 11:39 AM · For: A Niffler of a trick

**Transferred from HPFF** (apologies about me being so picky when I wrote this 3 years ago. idk if any of it still applies)

 

I loved this little one shot! It was definitely something I can see Fred and George doing to their fellow students. 

I felt that you characterised them all very well so it fit with the images in my head of them. It's one of the things I find hardest with writing but you did a very good job with it.

I did notice that on two occasions, you used the incorrect form of 'their'; once right after the split and and the other time is when you said about Fred and George having tears down their cheeks. You also seemed to only capitalise Gryffindor when Ravenclaw also needs to be capitalised. 

One last thing is your use of apostrophes. You've used them quite a bit when using the plural form of the word (such as "he rounded on the Gryffindor's.") which doesn't require the apostrophe. You only need it when contracting a word or if the word is possessive (i.e. The Gryffindor's gold, because the gold belongs to the Gryffindors)

All of that aside, I really did love this! Good job with it!

-Amy

Author's Response:

This response is for the sandcastle game! 

 

Hey, thank you for your review. 

 

Aha, it's fine! I'd rather be told if I've got mistakes so I can go and fix them so thank you for that, I'll definitly go and check those out.

 

I'm glad you thought I wrote them well, they were very fun to write. They are very fun characters in both their nature and to write. 

 

Thanks again for your review, I'm glad you liked the story.

-Shaza :) 

 

 

Name: Vilja (Signed) · Date: 20 Jun 2017 10:46 AM · For: A Niffler of a trick

Oh, a story on Nifflers, yeah! The Fantastic Beast film definitely made this species widely-known and loved, but I swear they were my favourites long before that.

 

As you start off in your first paragraph we already get all we need to know about where this story is set. Fred and George are in their third Hogwarts year. I was a little surprised to see that Hagrid was teaching Care of Magical Creatures, since he only started in Harry’s third year, but I like Hagrid, so I’m glad he’s in the story! (And you managed to capture his accent/style so well – I could never do that.) The glance exchange between the twins really captures the readers eyes (unlike Hagrid’s – hehe), well done on getting me super-excited in so few sentences!

 

I think you capture Fred and George really well in this story. This is a mischief, funny yet not causing severe harm. I wonder however where they had gotten the leprechaun gold. You might have added something on that to make the story more realistic. (I mean I can totally imagine Fred and George having their ways to get anything even as third-years, but still, leprechaun gold does not seem to be a common item.)

 

 

“trying to conceal his grin underneath his beard” that’s so typical of Hagrid. I was sure he would appreciate the joke :) This was a lovely one-shot, I really like how you took a scene from the books (Harry’s lesson on the Nifflers) and transformed that to a different story.

Author's Response:

Hey there! :)

Yeah, Nifflers were definitely my favourite before Fantastic beasts too, but that just cemented it! How cute were they!

Yeah, I was torn between making Niffler's taught in fourth year canon or having the twin being taught by hagrid and my love for Hagrid won out haha. I'm glad you thought I caught his voice and that correctly, that took me ages to sort it out. I love that you also got excited about what the twins were up to, I think everyone should always be excited about what the twins are up to!

I love the twins! I think it's because I'm a twin too, but I'm glad you liked the idea of the story! I'll go through and see if I can add that in, thank you for the suggestion!

 

Thank you so much for the review, random moments from the books are my fave to write so I'm glad you liked it! :D

Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 15 Jun 2017 02:05 AM · For: A Niffler of a trick

Hello love! How could I avoid your AP? (insert heart here, cause I don’t know how to do it in reviews here)

Omg. Just the first line has me cracking up already. Nothing funny has actually happened yet, but you know it’s about Fred and George, and they are being told not to do something, so you know antics will abound. So far this promise of antics seems so canon, that I had to stop and genuinely look up if this referred to a scene I forgot about.

I like that Fred and George’s prank here isn’t too vindictive. It seemed like they were really going to target Roger Davis, but it looks like they only gave him a bit of extra gold. The fact that they did this to all Ravenclaws suggests that this is just a matter of fun and not a grudge, and I appreciate the subtle detail that they spared their fellow Gryffindors (at least this time).

Hehehe, I like that Hagrid has to conceal his grin while disciplining Fred and George. I’m glad that he didn’t think they ruined his class, because he doesn’t deserve that.

There were a couple light grammatical errors, but nothing that I found too distracting, though it could benefit from a light beta read.

Overall, it was a super fun little story, and I am glad I stopped y for a bit of lightness in my evening =)

Sam.

Author's Response:

Hi again Sam! Avoided it? I think you've reviewed most of it now haha! Thank you though hun, it's much appreciated!

Aha, yeah, wherever Fred and George are, trouble (and fun) is never going to be far behind them is it? Aww, that's so sweet of you omg! I wish it was though!

Yeah, I don't really see Fred and George as the vindictive type (not counting Draco or the slytherins lol) so I figured a bit of fun, and a harmless prank would be the best reaction for them to 'get revenge' as it were.

Yeah, Hagrid was never going to be able to discipline them, and no! That's one of the reason I chose him, I think they respect/like him enough to know that they can get away with stuff as long as they don't go too far!

I'll look into getting abeta, unless you fancy it? Haha, I'm just kidding but thanks, I'll have another look over it!

I'm so glad you liked it, thanks again for the review! :)