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Name: 800 words of heaven (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2018 12:41 PM · [Report This]
Story:Doing the Right Thing Chapter: Doing the Right Thing

Hey, hey, hey! Kaitlin/TreacleTart requested I tussle with a few Nifflers to retrieve the gifts they stole for staff, so here I am!

 

My first thought upon seeing the banner for this story and reading the description was “omg! A story about Draco Malfoy working undercover as a double agent for the side of good! I’m in!” I haven’t even read the story at this point, so I’m keen to find out if my first impression was right.

 

Ooh! Now I have read the chapter description, and I’m hoping this doesn’t spoil Love, Not War! Amazingly, I haven’t read it as yet, but one day, it shall happen!

 

Double ooh! So my first guess wasn’t right. Alas, Draco Malfoy remains a loyal Death Eater, almost throughout. No spying shenanigans anywhere, alas. This was still an interesting story! I am keen to learn if the Minister of Magic survived, and how the following war turned out as a result. Did he fake his death, thus preserving the canon timeline? Did he survive and drastically alter the canon timeline? I guess all these questions would be answered if I started reading Love, Not War, huh? :P

 

This was great hook for your novel. Hopefully, one day soon, I shall start reading it! Until next time!

 

Xx 800



Name: MadiMalfoy (Signed) · Date: 22 Oct 2018 06:23 AM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Doing the Right Thing Chapter: Doing the Right Thing

Hey Deana, here with your review from like a month ago (oops)! 

 

So first of all, you know how much I love Draco, so I was super happy to see you drop this in my thread. I love a good dark-ish Draco too -- it lets me imagine what maybe could have become of him if he hadn't turned away from doing thigns in canon at the last minute. Either way, his internal conflict here is SO WELL DONE. The harkening back to his many attempts on Dumbledore's life, and his final one. I loved the way you've characterized Draco to choose to follow what his mother believes he can do rather than his father. His decision to warn the minister is honestly great and I think he realizes now that he knows what and who he is in relation to his Death Eater status and the future status of the world under Voldemort's reign. Just that single exchange of dialogue at the end is wonderful writing on your part. It emphasizes who he is choosing to make proud -- mother over father. 

 

This is a lovely brief character study of Draco Malfoy after he's done his task with Dumbledore before he returns to Hogwarts for that fateful final battle. It's such a good standalone piece, I can't imagine how well this sets up for your novel! Great job with this, Deana! :) 

~MadiMalfoy x



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 02 Sep 2018 02:39 AM · [Report This]
Story:Doing the Right Thing Chapter: Doing the Right Thing

Hey Deana! This is for your requested review.

 

Now that I am done freaking out via nervously pacing around the room after reading this prequel one shot, I can finally get to this review! THIS STORY WAS SO INTENSE.

 

Your summary is what first startles me. Draco's final mission as a Death Eater? A curse word may or may not have slipped from me. And then I read the first three sentences. They're so impactful: "Get in. Cause a diversion. Get out of the way." This is so chilling! Immediately, I wonder what he's up to... and then, it's obvious.

 

I want this mission to fail, of course, because I do know what happens: the Ministry falls and Voldemort takes over. But then again, if Draco is unsuccessful, his life is at stake--along with the wellbeing of his mother. You capture his love for his mother so well in this. Narcissa has had such a huge influence over Draco. After all, he does question the honor of killing a sleeping man (this is the point where I shouted, "YES, THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS YOU NEED TO BE ASKING, DRACO!" at my computer. But then he reverts back into his blood prejudices, which is annoying but that's because I fundamentally disagree with his instilled viewpoint. As a character, this aspect of him (the pull and tug of the moral good) brings Draco to life. He's so well-rounded in this chapter!

 

And he does redeem himself, I think. And it's thanks for Narcissa. Waking Scrimgeour was probably the best thing he could have done, to be honest. Voldemort wants to kill the Minister, Draco HAS to do what his master says... and yet Draco gets to add his own flavor to his orders. Even though what he's doing is horrible, he does try to have some autonomy. But still... Draco, you're on the wrong side.

 

One question about the final bit of dialogue. Why does Draco willing say "Voldemort" aloud? I always imaged him to be reluctant to say the V-word, but perhaps this is your characterization of him that will be further developed in your novel!

 

Overall, this was such an intense, intriguing chapter! Normally, I don't read much of Draco Malfoy. He's a great character to have in a story, but he can be so frustrating with his demeanor and viewpoints. Thank you for requesting because not only did I have a chance to read your wonderful writing but I also had a chance to expand my reading. I look forward to starting your novel in the very near future!



Name: adorably cute (Signed) · Date: 07 Jul 2018 03:44 PM · [Report This]
Story:Doing the Right Thing Chapter: Doing the Right Thing

Ahh hi! This was such an interesting start! Draco's character is so neat. I love how conflicted he is and you write it so well! You can really see both sides that he's town between--he knows what the right thing is but he's also torn between his old family ties and pressure from above. But you can already see his redemption coming and I'm excited to see the rest of this story arc play out in the main novel! 

 

The second to last paragraph was really powerful, where Draco commented about how his mother was the one who he wanted to make proud, not his father! I'm sure this helps lead to his final decision and I'm also sure will have repurcussions! I can't wait to keep reading through the series!



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 23 Jun 2018 02:48 AM · [Report This]
Story:Doing the Right Thing Chapter: Doing the Right Thing

Hi Deana! I'm here with your review (finally)!

 

First of all, I really love reading stories from Draco's POV, and I think you've done a really good job with him here. You've really captured the internal conflict - where he's really only doing this Death Eater stuff because it's what's expected of him but he doesn't really do it with conviction - that JK Rowling hints at throughout the books. You've shown that inner struggle so well in this one-shot, because he's clearly thinking about the consequences of his actions but not entirely sure what to do about it, or what the right thing really is.

 

I also like the focus on those first three lines "Get in. Cause a diversion. Get out of the way." throughout the piece. It really serves to show that a lot of Draco's Death Eater-y actions are entirely dictated by someone else, and he's only following those orders because he thinks he doesn't have a choice (and I am 112% here for Draco redemption because honestly, the boy wasn't much more than a child while all this was happening and at least he recognized that his actions weren't ideal). I like how the story ends as well - the same as the Dumbledore mission, really, because Draco's inner moral compass (which, it appears, he got from his mother) wins out.

 

I can't wait to see how this one-shot fits into the entirety of Love, Not War. Feel free to come request more chapters!!

 

-Taylor



Name: Nix (Signed) · Date: 15 Apr 2018 01:58 PM · [Report This]
Story:Doing the Right Thing Chapter: Doing the Right Thing

Hey Roxy! Came to check this out before I continued with Love, Not War! This is such a great one-shot! I loved reading how Draco went into that house planning to help kill the Minister and save himself and his mother. And yet, because of his mother he changes his mind at the last minute and decides to warn the Minister instead. I'm super glad he made that choice, even though it didn't turn out so well for him afterward...

xxNix



Name: Levana (Signed) · Date: 23 Feb 2018 10:01 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Doing the Right Thing Chapter: Doing the Right Thing

 

It’s Maggie here, coming at ya with a review!

 

Ah! I love this! It’s really short and sweet as far as the length of the fic goes.

 

I definitely love how this starts out, I’m always partial to fics that jump right into the action since it feels like a really good hook to me. Especially with the way you started this one out with the, “Get in. Cause a diversion. Get out of the way.” That like, not to repeat myself but like that just hooks me so well.

 

I love your characterization of Draco. He’s definitely one of my favorite characters and I think you do a really good job with his character. You show his inner thoughts and the struggles that he has with being a Death Eater and well not liking being a Death Eater really well. I always love fics that explore the idea that Draco didn’t have a choice in the matter because he was afraid – which I mean, we see that in book six. I especially love this line, “This didn't feel right to me at all. Killing a man in his sleep? Where was the honor in that?” It really shows his character and who he is and that he’s not just a stereotypical Slytherin that everyone in the books thinks that he is.

 

“I had been predestined for this life before I was conceived. I was born a Death Eater, so I should die one as well. This fate had been chosen for me, so there was really no point in trying to escape it... Was there?” This line actually gave me shivers and it made me so sad for Draco, like logically I know it’s true but seeing it in writing made me go, “MY POOR BABY!”

 

Now onto that bit about Draco wanting to make is mom proud. LOVE THAT! One of my favorite things from the Deathly Hallows was the fact that Narcissa straight up lied to Voldemort about Harry being dead. Like did she really need to do that? Because like at that point all she cared about was keeping her son safe, and she could have betrayed Harry after he told her that Draco was fine but she like chose not to. Not sure if that tangent about Narcissa was completely relevant other than the fact that I’m looking forward to seeing what you do with her character and her relationship with Draco.

 

I mean, I don’t really have anything useful to say other than giving you lots of love! All of the love!

 

~Maggie

 

 



Name: forever_dreaming (Signed) · Date: 16 Jan 2018 01:09 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Doing the Right Thing Chapter: Doing the Right Thing

Hi Deana! Here with your requested review <3 

 

So this was a really great read! I love the character you've created in Draco. In other fics where Draco joins the Good Guys, there's not always a good rationalization of his reasoning nor is he kept in character (suddenly, he loses all of his sarcasm and arrogance and teenage angst, and that just feels so unbelievable), but I was really impressed to see how in-character Draco was throughout this fic. 

 

The exposition was really interesting to me because Draco's motivations in joining the Lestranges' mission, to me, reflected his internal conflict. On the one hand, he wants to keep his mother safe (which is definitely in-character with him, considering he is SUCH a mama's boy hahaha!). On the other hand, he wants to prove to the Dark Lord that he's not a coward—and that also feels really in-character, considering his general pridefulness and arrogance. 

 

I really liked that Draco kept repeating to himself the three steps, the three instructions to himself—like it was supposed to be that simple (hah!). I also loved that he thought that killing Scrimegour in his sleep had no honor—that is also so in-character and a really profound insight into Draco's ideas about heroism and honor, since I think that's another one of his motivations for wanting to join the mission in the first place: so he can uphold his personal honor and his family's honor. 

 

I liked his intenal conflict when he was trying to decide whether to "make the right choice" or not. I loved that Draco didn't really know what the right choice was; that felt really in-character for him, given that he's only eighteen years old and still developing his moral compass and the adults around him always give him really cryptic advice. In other fics that I've read where Draco joins the Good Guys, he always seems to know exactly what the right choice is and have secretly supported the Order all his life; I love that this fic stays true to his character. His motivation for warning the Minister is not his father or the Dark Lord, but his mother—and that is honestly a) so in character and b) so sweet. I love that this fic highlights one of Draco's most positive character traits: his love for his mother. 

 

I'm really excited to start reading Love, Not War—you did such a wonderful job characterizing Draco, and I really want to read more of your fantastic characterization of him! :) Loved it <3



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 13 Jan 2018 04:42 AM · [Report This]
Story:Doing the Right Thing Chapter: Doing the Right Thing

Hi Deana! I thought this was such an important glimpse into the mind of Draco Malfoy, prior to being poisoned by his father in Love, Not War. I assume that this is the mission that Draco purposefully bungled, which makes this even more interesting to read.

 

Using first person was a really smart choice, because it allowed the readers to see exactly what was going on in Draco Malfoy's head. We could see his initial conviction that he had to succeed in his mission, and then we could see his mental gears shift towards making his mother proud and doing the right thing. Not everything about him has suddenly changed by the end of the story; he's still brusque and short with the Minister and physically does nothing to aid him, but he gives a life-saving warning.

 

This was so interesting to read, especially after reading the first few chapters of Love, Not War. It filled in some of the missing information, and now I understand Draco's mentality so much better. (The abuse he's going to suffer after this, though... I'm so glad he did the right thing, but Voldemort tortured him for months after this.)

 

Wonderfully written! <3

 

~Eva



Name: MegGonagall (Signed) · Date: 06 Sep 2017 12:21 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Doing the Right Thing Chapter: Doing the Right Thing

Hey love!! I'm here (finally) with a Hot Seat review for you!

 

I was scanning through your AP, and saw that this was a prequel to your novel, so I thought that I would stop here before I moved on to that. (It's on my reading list!) 

 

I love this idea that Draco was involved with the murder of Scrimgeour! It would make sense though, that Voldemort would order Draco to do something big after he failed to kill Albus. I'm sure Draco would have had to do something to redeem/prove himself. Such a clever idea! 

 

What I really enjoyed was Draco warring with himself. Like knowing that this wasn't right and wanting to do the right thing. How he felt he hadn't had a choice and that he was born a Death Eater and would die a Death Eater. I'm not the biggest Draco fan, but I always did feel sort of sorry for him. Because that was exactly right. He didn't really have a choice, just like Harry didn't. They were both born into their fate. But to see that he wanted to do what was right was great to read. 

 

Knowing the premise of your novel, now I see why Draco would need to go into hiding. With him giving Scrimgeour the heads up, I'm sure that wouldn't go over well with Bellatrix, Voldemort or the rest of the Death Eaters. That too bravery that I always wanted Draco to show, and I loved seeing it. 

 

This was a great one shot and really makes me thirsty for more! I'll absolutely be moving into your novel. I've heard great things about it and wanted to read it already, but after reading this, I need to read it! 

 

Sorry it took me so long, love!! 

 

Hugs, 

Meg 



Name: wandlessmagic (Signed) · Date: 22 Aug 2017 02:05 AM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Doing the Right Thing Chapter: Doing the Right Thing

I was hooked from the first three sentences!!


If I am being completely honest i have never read a Hogwarts Era fic before I mostly stick with next gen but oh my god Draco is such a perfect character to write from POV wise! He is just so perfectly flawed, I honestly loved/hated him throughout the entire HP series.


I feel like you got his characterization down to a T since we know how conflicted he was about whether he should make his father proud or do the right thing in the books! The poor kid should never have been put in voldemorts clutches so I’m happy to read (Stalked your stories whoops?) that he ends up with the Weasleys! His father doesn’t deserve him!


I wonder why he would feel the need to provide a distraction when the guard was taken out and the minister was alone in his room sleeping? Like i know he had orders but it Seems to me that if he sent a vase towards a wall the rest of the household would hear and come running causing more problems than solutions? That part was the only issue i had with this entire thing lol When i read it I was like whaaa?? UNLESS Draco did it so that way his Aunt and Uncle would be busy and he could get the Minister and his self to saftey?!?!?!?!?!


I would honestly love to read about the Auror spy that got close enough to the minister to become his secret-keeper. Like covert missions where he is almost made and throws another wizard under the bus! Like how interesting would that be?!


I wonder how Scrimgeour knew Draco? Was it because his dad worked in the Ministry?


I love how much of a mama’s boy Draco is and I’M SO HAPPY HE CHOSE TO DO THE RIGHT THING!!!! You’re doing great Sweetie!!



Name: ShazaLupin (Signed) · Date: 11 Jun 2017 10:10 PM · [Report This]
Story:Doing the Right Thing Chapter: Doing the Right Thing

Hey there, just here to transfer my review over from CTF! 

"Hey there, here for CTF!

Oh no, this is going to make me feel sorry for Draco isn’t it? I hate that aha. Huh, this could be canon I guess? It’s strange cause I’ve never thought about how the ministry was infiltrated but I quite like this idea, especially Draco having to do it to prove himself to Voldemort.

Ah,so his conscious kicks in. That’s a nice touch, especially since we know that he isn’t as hard as he might like to think. This was shown with Dumbledore, and I think that it’s definitely likely he would have a repeat of what happened there by stalling and trying to decide what the best thing to do is.

I loved the different voices weighing in on his decision, especially the people that you choose, Dumbledore and his mother. I think he would definitely listen to those two figures, and if anyone was going to be able to make him change his mind and get him away from Voldemort, it would be DUmbledore and his mother.

This was a really nice idea for a story, and I liked that although he didn’t stop the attack, because that would have probably got him killed so that’s kind of understandable, he did give the minister some warning and a chance to fight back.

Shaza :)"



Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 07 May 2017 05:45 PM · starstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Doing the Right Thing Chapter: Doing the Right Thing

Transferred from HPFF

 

Hufflepuff CtF Review

I’m honestly kind of surprised that Voldemort had been merciful on Draco for failing his mission to kill Dumbledore. He didn’t seem to expect for Draco to succeed or much care if he didn’t - he seemed more interested in punishing the Malfoys than keeping them among his ranks.

And wow, he was under so much pressure his first time around, I can only imagine how that would have multiplied by this point.

Wow, what intense infiltration they had pulled off, getting the minister’s secret keeper to be a death eater.

Excuse me, mister minister, I’d suggest that when you are awoken by a death eater in your house you don’t make idle chit chat about how he got there.

With this one I really wasn’t certain until the very end what Draco would choose, so well done with that.

One thing I quite liked about this piece was the vagueness of “doing the right thing.” There could indeed be different interpretations to that, depending on one’s perspective. Draco has been raised to believe that the “right thing” is to be loyal to his family and their ideals, but that is not what he chose here, adhering instead to a deeper moral imperative. I do like that in this decision, he is still in a way being loyal to his family, just in a different way than he historically has.

This was a cool little one shot, and I’m left quite curious to see how it ties into your longer story!

Sam.



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 05 May 2017 10:55 AM · [Report This]
Story:Doing the Right Thing Chapter: Doing the Right Thing

Ooh I saw this and thought I might as well transfer the review for this over too!

Hello Deana! (What a gorgeous name, by the way)

Okay, let's get me up to date, ha ha!

I'm so hooked into this already. Who doesn't love a coup?! And since this is a missing moment from that wonderful novel of yours, now I really want to know what goes around it!

Ah, pooey for the Minister that his Secret Keeper was a Death Eater. You really can't trust 'em. I think I'll just stick to my diary with the little lock.

Ooh poor Draco, he's really at odds with himself, but that's what I like most about his character. He's a good person inside, surrounded by bad people outside. I think you write from his perspective really well.

YAY and of course he did the right thing! Although, since the Lestranges are involved, I still worry for Scrimgeour's safety somewhat.

Okay, so I'm glad I've read this one now, now I can move on to your other works!

♥ Bianca    



Name: Alexis Black (Signed) · Date: 02 May 2017 11:29 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Doing the Right Thing Chapter: Doing the Right Thing

For a short one-shot, you certain pack a lot in this prequel! 


 


First off, I love how you present Draco here. He wavers between being confident and uncertain at the last moment. It fits the timeframe of that point of the HP novels perfectly. Far too writers fall into the trap of making him overly self-assured. You obviously have a solid grasp on this character.


 


And his Aunt Bella was his teacher? Oh dear, what fun that must have been ... not! Some people are lucky and have crazy fun aunts; poor Draco has a crazy in a dangerous and demented way aunt. If he suffers nightmares about that training, it wouldn't be surprising.


 


Another point is how you weaved Narcissa into the tale. She's very present for someone not present at all. It's her past actions, how she tried to protect Draco and the impact it has on her son that speak loudly. Love the quiet strength it shows as well as how it all highlights the bond between mother and child.


 


Then there's the moment of decision, and how Dumbledore's words replayed right then in Draco's mind as he wavers. It's natural and fits the moment like a glove! Of course, Draco would remember! It's like Draco was standing on the edge of a chasm and his Headmaster saved him again. Very well done!


 


Overall, this prequel has certainly piqued my interest!



Name: MuggleMaybe (Signed) · Date: 25 Apr 2017 06:39 AM · [Report This]
Story:Doing the Right Thing Chapter: Doing the Right Thing

i'm here for CtF but more importantly,

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope it is a wonderful day and a wonderful year!

 

this story captures exactly the aspects of draco i find most interesting. He's not nearly as evil as he wants people to think he is, because being evil keep shim safe. And people will do a lot to ensure their safety, or the safety of their loved ones. And I loved that you emphasized his love for his mother over his love for his father, who is more representative of bigotry and death eaters.

 

I never really thought about it, but I suppose Draco probably did train with Bellatrix. I wouldn't like to have her for a teacher one bit, would you? It's also kind of ironic because i don't think he fought much in the Battle of Hogwarts, so he never really got to show off his new magic skills. At least, not when Harry was a around to tell us about it.

 

This story messed with my sense of morality because normally i would have been very excited that draco went against the death eaters, and i sort of was. But I was also annoyed, because he put himself in danger, and I already know that Scrimgeur dies. So I know I *should* want him to do the right thing, but I kind of didn't in this moment. Isn't that weird? =P

 

It's comforting to think that, despite appearances, Dumbledore's words to Draco did et through to him on some level. 

 

Oh, I almost forgot! Who was the man on the inside? What a traitor! I suppose they coul dhave been under the umperius curse though. Excuses, excuses ;)

 

Happy Birthday to you!!



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