Sian! I'm here for the FROGs- congrats on your nomination(s)!!
This was wonderful. Although it starts out sort of dark as Sirius is in Azkaban, I quickly put that bit out of mind when this gloriously fluffy scene started. Eee, you write Sirius and Remus so PERFECTLY. The fact that Remus made breakfast for Sirius for his birthday was super adorable. And that he took Sirius go-karting! That's totally something Sirius would love, and the interactions between the two of them are so sweet here, everything from Sirius' initial reaction, to the banter between them, to the tender moments at the end, and the fact that Sirius tries to negate Remus' two wins with the fact that it's his birthday XD Both of them are so in character and I love the way you've illustrated the relationship between them.
It was also really amazing how you managed to portray the darkness of the ongoing war without showing too much of it and not overshadowing the lightness of this scene. But it's shown in how exhilarated they are to be out and about and having fun - because it's something they usually can't do - and the little nods to the fact that James and Lily are stuck at home, and how Sirius' dream of go-karting had faded away with the continuance of the war. This scene really does feel like a very bright spot in dreary times.
The fluffier and cuter this story got, the more I had the underlying feeling that you were going to throw something sad in at the end. Especially because partway through the story, you remind the reader of the beginning portion and the darknes that Sirius is fighting off. And then, wah, this is the saddest ending that there could have been. Sirius is reliving this memory to try and stave off all the horrible memories that are haunting him in Azkaban... and then it too is taken away by the dementors. D': STAHHHP I CAN'T HANDLE THIS. *sobs* But from a style perspective, it's really clever as with the Azkaban scenes framing the whole story, it really is like everything happy just gets surrounded by darkness, so that's really effective. Even if it broke my heart.
Wonderful fic <3
Hi Kristin! <3
You know me - I couldn't not start out with some darkness and angst in this story, could I? I mean it's the first wizarding war, and Sirius and Remus, and... well, me writing :P
I was so worried about writing these two. Not only have I never written them together before, but I haven't really written them at all, and I wasn't sure I was going to be able to get them in character at all, or plan out a proper birthday present for Sirius from Remus. I'm so pleased that you thought I managed to capture the characters well and that the go-karting was a good present for Sirius's birthday!
YOU KNOW ME TOO WELL! (Am I really that predictable? Eep.) I felt like it was really important to keep threading the darkness of the war throughout the story so that I at least hinted at the end, which of course you were right about. The reality of Azkaban is so horrible, but I wanted to show how Sirius tries to fight against the darkness in his own way - after all, we know how he fought to stay sane in the midst of everything. It's kind of nice that Remus could help with that?
Thank you for another lovely review!
Hello! I'm here for MAGIC!
Wow, that introduction was scary (amazingly written with a ton of fantastic imagery but scary none-the-less). I'm assuming given the level of psychological torment in the scene that Sirius is in Azkaban (and the 'them' he was feeling around him were the dementors). It's positively chilling.
Then, of course, the flashback is just SO sweet, which of course makes it bitter-sweet because it's a flashback and if Sirius is in Azkaban, that means he doesn't have Rumus anymore.
And there's so much fluff in the middle -- it's completely adorable. I love this pairing, the way you've written them. And all Sirius can think about is getting some birthday boy action ;).I love the Go-Kart racetrack present, and how much they love each other.
I think it's especially bitter-sweet because this is meant as an escape -- a moment of happiness in the wake of the first war. Remus gives him a moment of freedom, away from death and responsibility, and it's absolutely perfect.
Of course, the happy comes right back around to an abrupt halt, and it's so heartbreaking. The happy memories become something to further torment him with and its just so sad!
I loved it!
You're right about the first scene for sure! I know a couple of people found the opening of the story confusing, and it was meant to be in a way, as this is a kind of dreamlike sequence, and I wanted to set the scene with the desperation and fear that's filling Sirius in this moment. I'm really glad you could read that into it.
Fluff is SO difficult for me to write, and given that I wrote this as a present for Kayla, I was so worried about getting it right. I'm glad that you enjoyed that section of the story and the way that I wrote the two of them together.
Thank you so much for this lovely review <3
(Copied over from HPFF)
Thought I'd drop by your author page and check out your new stories :)
I'm not much of a Sirimus shipper, but OMG! HOW cute are those two together?
The chilly beginning (Azkaban?) really lured me in, and I was wondering what dark and devious road you were leading us. You cannot imagine how delighted I was when the italics ended and Sirius's birthday began. I thought you said you couldn't write fluff? Hmm? All the evidence points against you, I'm afraid, because Sirius, Remus, the fry-up and the go-karts, positively overflowed with fluff! Snort at Sirius putting both legs into one trouser, and I adored this line which says everything about their relationship:
"they can’t catch their breath to explain to the man on the desk that they have run through the night as wolf and hound, that they have duelled with some of the most skilled witches and wizards of their time and lived to tell the tale, and that a go-karting track is unlikely to pose a threat to them."
But the darkness was never very far away, was it? Here and there, we got little glimpses of it, and in the end, he's in Azkaban. :(
What I love most about this is the way you intertwine conscious with subconscious, and it's impossible to discern which one is supposed to be now and real and which one isn't, because they are both so full of vibrancy and imagery, both could plausibly be so.
UGH, I'm rambling incoherently and I'm sorry! It's a fabulous, twisted piece of writing which has messed with my sensibilities. Thanks for that ... ;)
I'm not a massive Wolfstar shipper either, but I've read some really good ones and I couldn't not write one for Kayla, really :P
I'm glad that the opening (Azkaban, you're right!) drew you into the story and that the switch in narratives didn't seem too jarring. Writing fluff is honestly so terrifying for me, and Remus and Sirius together was definitely a challenge, but I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it and that I got the two of them right together. I couldn't keep the darkness far away from them, especially with the way I wanted to intertwine consciousness and subconsciousness, but I'm kind of sorry for messing with your sensibilities?
Thank you for stopping by and for leaving the lovely review!
Sian!! I adore Wolfstar, and I adore your writing, so I just had to stop here. :)
This was so bittersweet, as Wolfstar tends to be. It was so sweet and fluffy, but just had those casual little Dementors are near by reminders.
So I absolutely loved the way you've written these two together. How Remus was more serious (ha! puns are fun!), yet still playful. And Sirius was definitely more laid back. I particularly enjoyed how he complained about being woken up early (10am is god's hour for me, too), and Remus had to remind him that he'd slept for 12 hours lol. I feel ya, Sirius. I feel ya.
There's something so sweet about someone cooking a large meal for you. It really shows that you love and cherish the person, I think. And it felt that Sirius was feeling that way as well. I love Remus, he's so sweet and thoughtful! I do like how even thought this moment was a lighthearted one for them, the thought of war was never far from their minds. I think that'd be true for that time period. Even in the happiest moments, there would still be that undercurrent of fear and uncertainty.
And how perfect was the whole go kart thing?! What an absolutely fantastic gift for Sirius! That whole bit with them laughing about Sirius sticking both legs in one whole was so super cute. I just love the two of them! And then Sirius pulling the whole, "it's my birthday," card when Remus was all like, "I won a few, too." So adorable, and so totally how i would imagine Sirius haha.
Then that sweet moment at the end in the woods. My heart. Why couldn't they have all just lived happily ever after? *wails*
Ugh and that ending was so jarring after all of the fluff that came right before it it honestly left me feeling so sad and uneasy, right after feeling all warm and squishy
Your writing was as wonderful and beautiful as always. I always enjoy reading your work, because it's just such pretty writing. Such a great job at writing this pairing. Truly, I adored everything about this. Thanks so much for doing the swap, love!!
Tons of love and hugs,
I haven't read a lot of Wolfstar, but honestly, what else was I going to write for Kayla's birthday? :P But it means so much to me that people who love the pairing enjoyed this story!
Haha I really couldn't not include some angst with these two, could I? I think some people were a little confused by the opening and ending sections, so I'm glad that those read clearly for you. I was kind of terrified to write these two, because I've never really written the Marauders very much before, but I enjoyed writing them. I think they're quite different people in some ways but their personalities do complement each other and it was fun to write them together. I always enjoy reading about gifts and gestures which are thoughtful instead of grand, and I thought that fit Remus well when he's trying to treat Sirius for his birthday.
I'm sorrynotsorry for the ending - I feel like I couldn't have ended it any other way, but I'm glad that you enjoyed it and thank you for the lovely compliments on my writing!
I like that you open with a dream – actually I did not realize it was a dream until Sirius opened his eyes, and I was thinking, oh this is an interesting mystery, but why so incoherent… now I see it’s something like a dream, and as such it’s good.
The second thing you establish is Remus and Sirius being a couple. I’ve read this in other fanfic stories as well, but somehow here it does not sound realistic. (I’m sorry I can’t tell you why, maybe it’s just not detailed enough.)
You kept me long wondering at what year we are in. Then we get a hint “Sirius doesn't think he's seen such a big meal waiting for him since he was at Hogwarts” and I think that’s a good choice capturing them after school, during the Voldemort regime. Oh, and then we see that Sirius has just turned 22. This is November 3 1981, just a few days after Harry Potter’ parents had been killed. You certainly got my interest here! I’m not sure if Sirius was already in Azkaban for his 22nd birthday, but I suspect he was and the birthday memories are just his minds inventions (after all they would not been celebrating just a few days after the death of their best friend). And in this light your description of Remus and Sirius being a couple is also much better, after all it might have been only Sirius being in love with Remus, but Remus not being homosexual. It all makes more sense. And that the dream at the beginning turns out not to be a dream but a half awake – half unconscious thought. So by the end I could piece this all together, and it felt really good as a reader to figure it out, although if it wasn’t for the CTF I might have quit reading somewhere in the middle where I got lost. But all in all a great idea!
When I was planning this story I couldn't really think of any way to open that fit as well as it being a dream - I did want that part to be kind of confusing and uncertain as it's pretty ambiguous for Sirius too at this point. I tried to write it as if the dream was real, and it was something that could have happened between Remus and Sirius as they were a couple prior to this (though I know that you said that their relationship didn't seem realistic here, so I'll have to work out if I can see why that might be), but then when Sirius wakes up the pain comes crashing down as he (and the reader) realises that what they've just seen wasn't real. I'm glad that you could use the time markers to figure it out and piece together when this was happening and the reality of it all, as I did want to tease the reader with that aspect of it.
Thank you for stopping by and leaving this review!
Okay I'm going to do my best to leave a coherent review but let's get this out of the way first: SIAN I LOVE THIS AND I LOVE YOU! This is brilliant and YOU'RE brilliant and so so talented and I seriously can't believe your insanely talented self wrote this for little old me! Thank you so much!
Now let's get this out of the way: WHAT. WHY :(
Omg. I know this was tagged angst and everything, and you had those creepy italicized sections going on, but I was definitely NOT expecting that ending :( I'm just going to live in denial and pretend that didn't happen. *puts fingers in ears* la la la la
No but really though, I'm a total sucker for wolfstar angst, as I know you know, so I did actually kinda love that you injected some angstiness into this piece haha.
Moving on... omg. Just omg. This is so PERFECT. Like I think I might cry with happiness over how perfect this is. (Did I mention you rock and are the best?!) You captured Sirius perfectly, Remus perfectly, and their relationship perfectly and I am just thrilled to bits with this story. I could just start listing lines that made me squeal with happiness but that'd be a long, LONG review. But just... all the times Sirius thought about how he wanted to kiss Remus. How often that happened and how JOYFUL it always was. His childish excitement and his "I'm the birthday boy and you have to be nice to me!" declarations. Remus and how thoughtful he was, how nervous he was about Sirius enjoying his present because he wanted so badly for Sirius to have a great birthday and a temporary reprieve from the war. HOW IN LOVE THEY PLAINLY WERE THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE THING! I could go on!
I do have to mention this part specifically: "It's a smile that Sirius loves, a smile that makes the scars and pain that line his face vanish, a smile that says you make me happy and I love you, too". The amount of love and happiness conveyed with this one line is astounding and I LOVE that you wrote "I love you too" rather than just "I love you". That made it so much more impactful because a) it's unusual and b) the implication that Sirius is simultaneously communicating without words that he loves Remus. It honestly gave me the vibe that Sirius is ALWAYS expressing that which idk if that was your intention but omg. Just omg.
Sian, you are an incredible writer, a wonderful WONDERFUL person, and such an amazing friend. I feel so lucky to know you and I really can't express how much it means to me that you did this for me. Thank you so much. <3
Kayla! Sorry that it's taken me a ridiculous amount of time to respond to this, but honestly, I'm so overwhelmed and flattered by this review. You're like the queen of Wolfstar and I was SO nervous writing this (I swear, I think I drove Kaitlin insane with it) and I'm just so, so happy that you liked it!
Ah, I really couldn't not include angst in this story, could I? I know it was a birthday present, but also... I kind of had to follow canon, didn't I? If it helps, it did actually make me a bit sad to write those parts when I joined it up with the rest of the story.
I'm so thrilled (no pun intended) that you liked the characterisation of Remus and Sirius in this story, and their relationship as well. Honestly, I can't really tell you how terrified I was of writing it and having you read it and just go "omg what have you done, um, thank you", so I'm really pleased that they seemed realistic to you here and that their interactions and the way that they were obviously in love worked well. I'm glad that you liked this story and I'm glad that I got to give someone so wonderful a birthday present that made them smile! <3