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Reviews For Isabella

Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 31 Mar 2019 08:04 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: Thirteen Candles

Hi, Kaitlin, my dear! <3

I'm here for our swap-that-never-really-happened! I promised you I would check out this story, so here I am! ;)

As always, your passion for food and cooking comes through so strongly! :P The description of Isabella's mother making the mole was just so good, I loved it so much!

Actually, I think your descriptions in general through the chapter were stunning! The whole imagery of the field, the mountains, the coming storm... it was all so good! I'm sure I've told you already in the past... you are a brilliant writer!

So, is the old woman from down the street a witch, and is she there to introduce Isabella into the magical world? This is how I'm interpreting it, although I might be way off base here. I'm still wondering what the whole 13 is unlucky meaning is... I'm so curious about where you are headed with this story...

This was such a great first chapter, and I'm excited to find out more! Hopefully I'll have a chance to stop by again soon! Wonderful job! Your writing is just stunning!

Snowball hug,

Chiara



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 23 Mar 2019 05:58 PM · [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: A Child Of Oaxaca

Kaitlin!!! Going to declare RvG now.

 

So I meant to do this review later (as in another day), but I really couldn't stop thinking about what was going to happen next, so I figured if I couldn't resist the temptation, might as well fall for it!

 

And I am glad for my weak will power because this chapter is SO WORTH IT!

 

It was like reading the wizarding world for the very first time. I loved going on the adventure with Marisol and Isabella. I really wanted to tell Marisol to SLOW DOWN, so Isabella (and I) could thoroughly inspect every detail of this magical, magical place. I absolutely love that the entrance to Mercado De Las Brujas is at the church. When I think of witchcraft, I do not think of it pairing well with the Church. I love, love, love how you juxtaposed them together. I can only imagine what the Mexican witches and wizards did to get a secret entrance to the market. A dangerous but thrilling tale, I bet!

 

And once we're there... to the wand shop! It's incredible how you adapted JKR's concept of a wand to Mexico. I love the carvings, the cores, and the gems!!! I think that Isabella's wand is PERFECT for her. It's a great way to world build and to characterize. I kinda want one of my own now, ahaha. Anyway, back to Isabella: I wonder how she is special? And if her newly unearthed lineage to the Zapotecs will mean anything significant in the future? 

 

See what you did there? In one swoop, you answered questions (what the wizarding world is like in Mexico) but then left a large abyss of more questions! That is brilliant, Kaitlin. You're such a fantastic writer!

 

Your author's note said that you hope to update this weekly... well, I know you're working on other amazing projects (TNGA for starters), but I look forward to the day where you update this fic again, too! :D I'll be back on your AP very, very soon. Well done!



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 23 Mar 2019 02:30 PM · [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: A Late Night Surprise

Kaitlin! Here for RvG (double points) and the story.

 

AHHHH. This chapter was everything that I hoped it would be--and MORE. Marisol is such an excellent character. I want to sit in her home and listen to her stories and try to solve her riddles. 

 

Juan Carlos: his story is SO tragic. I was holding back tears. I can only imagine the fear and the terror and the heartbreak and the guilt. What an awful, awful situation. But from I know of more modern day Mexican history, I am not surprised that something like this occurred when he was a teenager. I totally get why he tried to put magic behind him and why he's so hesitant to let Isabella go away to school. Also, I was totally expecting Isabella to be Muggle born (or whatever the Mexican equivalent is for that), so this heritage has been a pleasant surprise! I am so curious to learn more about the Aztec magic and of this world you've built!

 

Isabella: she is so curious and a little cautious but overall she knows that this opportunity to learn magic is too good to pass up. I love how she advocates for herself, how she calls out the adults for arguing over HER future when it is, in fact, HER future. I see a lot of strength from her--in addition to her endearing child-like wonder and how caring she is (putting her younger siblings to bed while the adults bicker, what a sweetheart). I am such a fan of her, and I cannot wait to learn more about her and her upcoming adventures!

 

I also like how you sprinkle in Spanish words in the narrative. They give the story an authentic breath and really tie your story together. I will get to reviewing the third chapter, TNGA, and, let's be honest, your other fics very, very soon! :D



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 22 Mar 2019 06:08 AM · [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: Thirteen Candles

 

Hey Kaitlin!

 

I've been meaning to check this story out for a while so I've using RvG (March) to get me started.

 

I thought this first chapter was just a wonderful introduction into Isabella's world. There was so much beautiful imagery in this piece, I just loved Isabella's narrative of the world around her. She seems so in tune with her homeland, all that nature around her. she knows the smells and just senses the land which is really cool. We know she only thirteen but she seems very wise too.

 

I think this chapter as a whole is really fantastic world building. You've really presented Isabella's world so well. It is always a treat for me to learn something as I go along. I know very little about Mexico as a country so it's great to see it through the eyes of someone who knows all about it. I enjoyed that translation bit at the end which was very helpful.

 

I think the plot line seems very unique too. It is not often that characters are written from this age range or if it is then it's only a scene or two. I think exploring a character this age is very interesting. I love how you've used your knowledge in this piece as thing is so detailed even your descriptions of the food is awesome as you're a chef yourself. You've used personal knowledge for this story which is always make for such passionate and vivid stories.

 

I like how you introduced the lady on her road saying that thirteen is unlucky then it really adds this element of mystery into the story on this cliffhanger. Why is she there? What is going to happen next? 

 

I'm looking forward to seeing more of Isabella's story! this chapter has me really interested in Isabella as a character and getting more of an insight into the Mexican culture. 

 

- Abbi xo

 



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 09 Mar 2019 12:31 PM · [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: Thirteen Candles

Kaitlin! Here for RvG and your wonderful, wonderful writing! :D

 

This has been on my To-Read list for a while. Oh my goodness! In 1500-ish words, you have built this incredibly beautiful world. I feel as if I am really in Oaxaca. The sights and sounds and smells, you do a marvelous job at transporting us to this world. It's amazing that you have captured your experiences into a fan fic like this. I am so looking forward to what you have in store!

 

Isabella seems like a delight! I love the connection she feels to nature and her family. It reminds me of some of the happiest moments of my childhood and the many daydreams have came as a result. I also love how the storm is rolling in on the eve on of thirteenth birthday, bringing suspense and mystery to the whole tale. I already like the old woman, from her first mention to her final act of destroying the front door in the middle of the night. I cannot wait to explore the magical world in Mexico!

 

The sheer amount of detail: from the language, the food, the landscape, is admirable, Kaitlin. Well done. I have never been to Mexico, and I'm stoked for this opportunity to learn more about it through this fic and to see your interpretation of a fandom we both know and love. Will Isabella go away to school? Is this older woman a witch? How will Isabella's life change? These are all great questions that you've elicited from your audience, inviting into the story and encouraging us to continue--both good traits of a talented writer! I'll be back for more soon! :) 



Name: cambangst (Signed) · Date: 08 Mar 2019 04:12 PM · [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: A Child Of Oaxaca

Hi, Kaitlin! Back for chapter 3.

I can definitely understand the surreal feeling of waking up the next morning. Did that really happen? Probably similar to waking up in Vegas when the last thing you remember was ordering shots in San Diego.

To answer the question in your author's note, no, I didn't find anything confusing. You did a good job in this chapter of explaining the cultural history surrounding the story and of doing that within the context of the narrative so it didn't feel out of place. Relative to the last chapter, I thought you did a better job in this one of sticking to your... ugh, I can't find the right words. "Narrative flavor"? That isn't quite right, but it's the best I can do at the moment. You didn't drift into an Anglicized speech pattern in your dialog very often.

I really enjoyed your cultural twist on wandlore. It seems natural that every magical culture should have its own wand woods and magical creatures to draw on when crafting wands. On top of that, you introduced the gemstones and the symbolic carvings, which were a great touch. Don Julio probably had the most issues with drifting into Anglicized dialog, but it wasn't very distracting. You avoided the trap of turning him into the Mexican Ollivander. I was holding my breath, desperately hoping that he didn't start going off on how the wand chooses the witch.

You made some other neat choices. The magical community in Mexico seems more tightly integrated with the regulares than their British counterparts, at least when it comes to things like food and their economy. That was always a place where it felt like JKR went overboard to try to come up with unnecessary idiosyncracies. I dearly hope we won't be seeing "fire tequila" at any point in the story.

This was my favorite chapter so far. I'm excited to see where you take things next!

-Dan

 



Name: cambangst (Signed) · Date: 08 Mar 2019 03:47 PM · [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: A Late Night Surprise

Hi, Kaitlin! Back for chapter 2!

Again, I'm seeing lots of interesting parallels to Harry's story, only in a very different place. Doña Marisol fills the role of Hagrid, albeit in a much less comical and oddly more threatening way. She's very intimidating, and the fact that she obliterated the door is only the tip of the iceberg.

Juan's reactions are initially similar to how Vernon and Petunia took the news, but ah, there's much more to it than that, isn't there? Poor guy. Horrible, what happened to him. No wonder he's not excited to be pulled back into the world of magic.

As she reveals the secrets of Juan's past, I thought that you drifted in and out of your narrative flavor a bit. At times, people are speaking as residents of Oaxaca might and at other times they're fading more into expository English. My suggestion would be to make it more uniformly ethnic, because I really like that feel you get. This line, in particular, read really strangely: "All my life I've been here on this ranch in this tiny town in the state of Oaxaca. I've never even been to another state."

Part of me wants to think that her mother's reaction is very disproportionate, but then if I put myself in her place, this is obviously a heck of a lot to take in. Your husband is a wizard. Your daughter is a witch. Your neighbor is also a witch. It's not hard to see how she's feeling like her entire life is a lie. She must be pretty freaked out about the younger siblings by this point. Here's hoping she doesn't do anything rash that puts Isabel in an even worse position.

I love Isabel's spirit of adventure. I'm excited to find out what's waiting for her in the big city. Onward...

-Dan



Name: cambangst (Signed) · Date: 08 Mar 2019 03:20 PM · [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: Thirteen Candles

Hi, Kaitlin!

You wrote a beautiful first chapter. Your descriptions of the scenery were lush and detailed and they appealed to all of the senses. So very easy to place myself there and take it all in. And I'll add, very cool on occasion to read a scene that isn't set in Britain.

Love that your main character is a farm girl. Fan fiction could use more of those. Again, you nailed lots of the small details of farming cattle. The sounds and smells and the way cattle behave... perfect.

I'm feeling a parallel between the crazy neighbor lady and Mrs. Figg. Perhaps there's more to your main character than meets the eye. And maybe, just maybe, the crazy neighbor lady is watching over her. Can't wait to find out!

On to chapter 2...

-Dan

 



Name: Aphoride (Signed) · Date: 25 Feb 2019 10:28 AM · [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: Thirteen Candles

Hey there, Kaitlin, dropping by for our review swap! :) 

 

So I remember seeing this around the forums when the diversity challenge was running, though I don't think I ever stopped by then (or, if I did, I don't remember?), so it's great to finally get to stop by :) 

 

I really, really love that this is set in Mexico. There's something so lovely and so fascinating about getting such an in-depth glimpse of another culture - and a culture which is so different from any I know. It's rare in both books and in fic, so it's so great and you write it so well, explaining just enough that I understand everything that's going on, with the food and the cattle-ranching and the traditional ways they celebrate things like birthdays. It's so intruiging and so different and I love that about it. 

 

There's something so sweet, as well, about seeing someone having a very... normal life, yk: distinctly unmagical, ordinary, every day working life, with her riding out with the cows, herding them back and putting them in the barn, looking after the horse and hanging out at home. It's not massively plot-intense but I actually like that about it: it means you can set it all up so well for the plot to them come in - and leave the end of this chapter on such a cliffhanger - and it really gives us an idea of what, if anything, will change for her. 

 

Your writing in this is so lovely too. A lot of your pieces I'd read before tended to be more dialogue heavy, so finding out that there was so much description in this was such a lovely surprise, especially with how lush and vibrant it all was and how carefully you painted the scene. 

 

I'm so so curious as to what happens next. I'm assuming Isabella finds out she's a witch - but how does her family take it? Who is the crazy old lady from down the road really? How does magical learning and education in Mexico work? I have so many questions! :) 

 

This is such a great start - thank you for the swap! :) 

 

Laura xx



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 15 Feb 2019 12:08 PM · [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: A Child Of Oaxaca

Hello again!  Here for February's RvG!

 

This was such a fascinating chapter - I know that you said in your author's note that it got a bit meaty in terms of cultural history but you probably know by now that all of that was my favourite part of this chapter.  I don't know enough about Mexico at all, and I'm loving learning more about the country, its places and culture and history, and seeing the way that you're incorporating those into the magical world in Mexico in this story.

 

The description of Rosa as a hurricane at the start of this chapter was really effective.  You only focused on her briefly but I got a real picture of her character from that and the fierce sort of woman she is.  It's certainly not how Isabella was planning on spending her birthday - nor what her parents had planned - but I hope that things settle down with the family soon enough, before Isabella goes off to school, anyway.

 

The description of the witches' market was so fascinating - I really loved the way that you built up the details around the scene so we could picture it just as vividly as Isabella did.  And I think you got a real sense of the wonder that she was feeling here, too, which was probably even more effective for us than fics that introduce their character to Diagon Alley for the first time, given how familiar we all are with that.

 

I absolutely loved all the little snatches of Spanish in this story, but my favourite part of the chapter was the discussion of the wands, and the way that they're filled with so much more detail and links back to heritage and history.  Those details were so incredible to read and I loved seeing the thought that you've put into this chapter and the way that you're incorporating indigenous traditions and beliefs into the magical world.  It's so amazing to read all of that - and I'm intrigued to see that Isabella has a very special and individual wand, as well, especially given the fact that she's not displayed any magic before.  And does her Zapotec heritage mean that she's also got magical ancestry on her mum's side?

 

I'm really enjoying this and I'm looking forward to seeing what adventures Isabella's going to embark on through the course of this story!

 

Sian :)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 15 Feb 2019 11:42 AM · [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: A Late Night Surprise

Hi Kaitlin!  Here for February's RvG and also to leave my 600th review, woo!

 

This chapter was so interesting!  I really enjoyed the way that we got to learn so much more about Isabella's family and started getting our first glimpse into the magical world in Mexico, too.

 

Marisol was so interesting!  I really liked the way that she just came in and made herself at home - there are definite parallels here between the way that Isabella learns about her magical abilities and her family's background and the way that we see Harry does in the Philosopher's Stone.  I think those parallels are really effective, especially with the way that this is set in a country and culture that I (and probably most readers) are unfamiliar with.  I'm intrigued about Marisol's background, too - is she just someone of importance in the local magical community, or is she connected with the school itself?  She's definitely determined and fierce, and she doesn't abide by rules that Juan tries to lay down - but she also seemed to know a lot about his background and story so I'm intrigued about the links there.

 

Speaking of Juan's story, that was so heartbreaking to read.  There was a slightly detached feeling as he spoke about it, and I wasn't sure whether that was deliberate as he's trying to remove himself from the scene to cope with it better, but nevertheless it was tragic to read.  I can definitely imagine him abandoning magic completely after watching that happen and believing that it's his fault (which it wasn't, but I can still see why he'd blame himself).  This must be really awful for him now.

 

I loved the details about his ancestral line, though!  It's fascinating that you've made this connection between magic and the indigenous Aztec population in Mexico - I wonder whether that's more specific to Isabella's family, or whether it's a general rule for most people in the area?  And whether Isabella will discover any long-lost relatives at the school...  I'm really excited to see how you're going to incorporate some of the Aztec history into this story, too, and deal with the tensions between the colonising and indigenous populations that I suspect will play a role in the history of magic (please tell me that the Mexican school doesn't have a Binns equivalent teaching that).

 

Rosa's reaction was very believable.  I hope that this revelation doesn't break up the family completely, but I don't think my reaction would be particularly understanding if I'd just learnt that my husband had been hiding a massive secret from me and my eldest child was about to be taken away to a magical school without me getting a say in it.

 

It was really interesting to see Isabella putting her foot down at the end of this chapter, too, and deciding that she wants to go to the school!  It's a spark of boldness and determination that we haven't seen fully before and I'm really intrigued to see how it plays out!

 

Sian :)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 15 Feb 2019 11:20 AM · [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: Thirteen Candles

Hi Kaitlin!  Here for February's RvG.

 

So I'm sure I read and reviewed the first chapter of this back on the old site but I clearly never transferred that review and so I'm back again.  You know I love the concept of this story - it was a perfect fit for the diversity challenge because it's fascinating to read a story set outside of the UK and the other countries which are more commonly written about in fic, and I'm very intrigued to see how you're going to build up the world of magic in Mexico and craft the lore and traditions behind that.  

 

I really liked your choice of first person narration for this story - I think it works really well and I instantly have a soft spot for Isabella as I learn about her life and the tasks that she regularly has to complete at home, and you did a great job of building up a picture of her home life and family without just overloading us with information.

 

Your description in this chapter was brilliant, too - the opening few paragraphs were stunning, and I could see the mountains and everything that you described so clearly.  As if I needed any more encouragement to add Mexico to the list of places that I want to visit.  But I really appreciated the way that your description didn't just focus on what Isabella could see in this chapter, but the smells around her and the way that her different senses were engaged; it really helped to transport me fully to the scene, even though I'm completely unfamiliar with it both in person and in fic.

 

I shouldn't be surprised that your descriptions of food are incredible, either, but now I'm really, really hungry - and pretty jealous that you're going to get to spend the next few days eating all this sort of food :P

 

The ending was so intriguing!  I really liked the way you built up the picture of normality throughout this chapter, even with Isabella on the brink of her thirteenth birthday.  There were hints of excitement which I think are usual for a child of her age, especially with the extra effort that she knows her parents have been putting in for the celebrations, but then everything changes at the end and I'm so intrigued!  The woman from down the street definitely made a dramatic entrance - it reminded me a little of Hagrid in the Philosopher's Stone.  It seems like children only learn about the magical world at the age of thirteen in Mexico?  I'm looking forward to finding out more in the next chapter, anyway!

 

Sian :)



Name: sunshine_locks (Signed) · Date: 14 Feb 2019 11:36 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: A Child Of Oaxaca

Oof, I already don’t like the coldness that comes from Isabella’s mama. It makes me nervous. At the very least, her papa seems to be… well I don’t want to say calm, because her mama certainly wasn’t acting hysterical. I think I mean to say that at least he’s not taking it out on the children.

 

Isabella’s faith in her mama is amazing, but her papa doesn’t seem to think so, if his half-hearted smile says anything.

 

This whole world sounds so interesting despite me not knowing a word of Spanish. Particularly, I’m picturing this piece of fanart that I saw that someone drew, and it was just of wizarding marketplace of Mexico—I remember it being very colorful and beautiful.

 

The choosing of the wands ritual seems very similar yet different at its core. The carvings and gems are all very new to me, but it makes sense that Mexico would have its own customs. Doesn’t have to be Eurocentric.

 

It’s also interesting to me that Mexico would call its muggles regulares.

 

The amethyst as a gem for Isabella clicks with me easily—throughout the story, you’ve made her have some sort clarity with the environment surrounding her, and it was made apparent in her very narration.

 

There were a lot of details mixed into this chapter, and while I still don’t fully grasp what’s going on, I’m still very interested to see what Isabella’s story might be like.

 

I might have to do some more research on Mexican customs and culture!

 

Hopefully, I will see you in the next chapter! x



Name: sunshine_locks (Signed) · Date: 14 Feb 2019 09:50 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: A Late Night Surprise

Okay so, I was curious and I looked up images of Oaxaca on Google, and the state is really very beautiful, but it also looked really familiar to me. And then I realized! This is the state that Coco is based off of! I remember thinking to myself when I was watching the movie that I’d love to go there one day and the urge has only increased!

 

Anyways, onto the story! So, we’re here with the old woman, and when Isabella asks what’s going on, the woman only smiles. Kind of creepy, not going to lie.

 

So, she’s got info about something, but was it really necessary to tell this to Isabella the moment she turned thirteen? Literally?

 

This is really starting to sound like a fairytale. You know, maybe Isabella’s papa sold off his first born to local forest witch Marisol and the moment she’s of age, Isabella is whisked away from her family.

 

It’s really starting to worry me.

 

Oh, so. Being a witch isn’t really seen as something to be proud of in this household. Everything makes much more sense. I’d get why, but also… what is Isabella’s papa afraid of? Isabella leaving him? Or perhaps its more personal, maybe something to do with their practice of faith?

 

So, is Isabella’s papa a squib? Did the genes skip him? Hm…

 

No, that’s not the case at all; I was way off the mark. Maybe he gave up his magic? He’s ashamed of it?

 

STILL WAY OFF THE MARK.

 

And man… that part about Juan Carlos’ little sister really caught me off guard, I just wasn’t expecting it. It sounds kind of funny but it shocked me to the point of me tearing up.

 

The image of a little girl bleeding out and dying will never be a good one.

 

Oh no. Keeping secrets for this long never has good results, but it’s still really disheartening to see a family break apart like this. I genuinely hope that things get better, but Rosa’s language seems to say otherwise.

 

I’m glad that Isabella stood up for herself, and I’m more than happy that she chose to explore magic, but sincerely I want her family to be better again. A bad home life spells nothing good.

 

On to the next! x



Name: sunshine_locks (Signed) · Date: 14 Feb 2019 08:56 PM · [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: Thirteen Candles

Hello there, I’m here for our review swap! I’ve been meaning to read Isabella for a while now, so I’m very excited to finally review this! :^)

 

Already, I’m entranced by your descriptions. I have no idea what Oaxaca looks like, but I have a very vivid image in my mind right now.

 

A trailblazer, huh? I think it’s really cool that Isabella found a beautiful and secluded place like the one she’s one—those are always the best ones. It always feels like reality is a little bit altered each time you go there.

 

Your description of the cows and their earthy smell really brings back old memories; I remember that my extended family actually owned a farm and I used to help tend to the animals, so this is like really nostalgic for me.

 

Why is thirteen such an unlucky number? From what it seems to me, thirteen is to Mexico what eleven is to wizarding England.

 

The description of the mole is making me really hungry—it sounds really good right now (never mind the fact that I’m really hungry).

 

Isabella’s reflection of her mother is really nice and it kind of mirrors how I feel about my own mother. Not necessarily in how I feel about what she does in the kitchen, but more like the fondness that seeps from the reflection itself.

 

Chocolate? I don’t think I’ve ever seen that used in a recipe before—however I’m willing to try!

 

That ending had me really curious. Though I’m no stranger to being terrified of strangers at the door, this particular old woman seems to be indicative of something far bigger.

 

I shall keep reading! x



Name: bsk (Signed) · Date: 13 Feb 2019 10:32 PM · [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: A Late Night Surprise

I'm baaaack for a swap!

 

Seriously, I was supposed to call it a night but I needed to know who the crazy lady was and it was sooo worth it. I love how nonchalant Marisol is. She literally could care less that Isabella's mom and dad are decreeing 'I forbid' this and you loca' that. It's so funny and I already like her. You seem to be able to present these incredibly three dimensional characters who every reader can't help become intrigued by and root for on the spot (myself included!). 

 

I'm cracking up at how she straight up tells them that Isabella is magical. The best people have no filter and I thoroughly believe this statement! I really hope they all expand upon the laws in the later chapter because I need to know more. I really enjoyed the detail you put into Isabella's family history, it provides some more interesting background and makes her character all the more appealing!

 

The story with Isabella's father was so sad to read. Unfortunately being harassed is a very harsh reality that a lot of women go through and I really like the way you conveyed Isabella's anger and her father's turmoil in that scene. Isabella's mom reacting that way was so relateable because that's absolutely the same way my mother would have reacted if some lady plopped down in my living room and said she was going to take me haha. I can't wait to see how Isabella's journey progresses. Well done!



Name: bsk (Signed) · Date: 13 Feb 2019 10:23 PM · [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: Thirteen Candles

Hi Kaitlin,

 

Back for another review swap.

 

I can't believe I was grumbling about lack of POC representation in my response to your other review and here you are with this complex and interesting piece. You've got me hooked from the first line itself; your descriptive prose really present the most vivid imagery. Your character has her own personality from the get go and I love that! I love the way you've shown her world; the relationship with nature, her house and even the spices. I haven't really read a fic where the main character lives in another country so this was absolutely refreshing to read. I find myself wanting to know more about her with every sentence I read, you've done a great job at building suspense. The pacing is quick but adds an extra layer of dimension to the story.

 

 

You have this great ability to set a mood; the first half starts off almost serene, making the reader feel as though a breeze is literally wafting through a window. The second half explores Isabella's world in the midst of a hurried and urgent atmosphere. Every emotion felt palpable and so so real. I hope we found out more about this old lady because I'm certainly intrigued. Also side note I'm still cracking up over your review and slightly cringing at how immature my characters seem compared to your mature and insightful 13 year old. I can already tell I'm going to like Isabella and can't help but root for her, even though there's soooo much left to know about her. I'm really interested to see where it all goes from here!



Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 13 Feb 2019 07:03 PM · [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: A Child Of Oaxaca

Well, I have read the first three chapters now.  What a great idea, to write a story set in Mexico.  After reading these chapters, I am captivated by your characters and setting, which you describe so skillfully.  Doña Marisol is quite the lady, and the family dynamics in Isabella's home are nuanced, believable, and well developed.  As always, your prose flows so smoothy that it is a pleasure to read, and the careful copy-editing is a gift to your readers.  

 

I have never been so far south as Oaxaca, though I did spend time in Mexico City and the surrounding area in the winter of 1961-62, and more recently in Yucatan, so it will be fun to read about Isabella's adventures in Mexico City and compare what she sees there with what I saw so long ago.

 

I am looking forward to learning what is unique about the Mexican magic school.  Surely it will be full of Mexican culture and history, with the basics of magic thrown in.  

 

A couple of typos that auto-correct didn't pick up because they formed real words: Chapter 1, line 6 --"...markets that team with people..." Amend 'team' to 'teem'.  Later in the story -- "Doña Marisol walks through the isles of pews..."  Amend 'isles' to 'aisles'.  Again, at the beginning of the story, "Quickly I spur my horse around the cows in a quick, tight circle."  You can delete one of the quicks.

That's the only ConCrit that I can find in these many thousands of words!  I'm sure that this is going to be a great story, and hopefully the upcoming chapters will appear soon.

 

Vicki



Name: crestwood (Signed) · Date: 09 Feb 2019 02:52 AM · [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: A Late Night Surprise

Hi, here for the second of our swaps!


Marisol immediately is a great character, I was laughing at her just sort of taking a seat and ignoring the very valid concerns of the parents.


I really was not expecting for one of her parents to be magical as well! I don’t know how someone could feel up to hiding it for so long, that’d be such an exhausting secret to keep. I’m shocked that he’d try to keep it from Isabella herself even after her thirteenth birthday. I actually don’t know what happens to people who never received a magical education as they get older. I wonder if their magic would get less and less stable as time goes on.


Omg, when she yells out ‘you’re a witch’!!! Amazing. Just rip that bandaid off right then and there. Oooh, the mention of ‘you know the laws’ makes me want to know the laws very badly!


Aztec warriors that pass down magic, oh wow. This is one of the coolest premises ever, I maintain. The stories that Juan starts to tell about his childhood magic surfacing are really good! I love seeing the ways magic manifests in young children, it’s one of those random topics I get super excited about.


Wow, okay so his backstory is the saddest thing. It makes a lot of sense that he’d hide away from that world after something like that happened. I knew that he must have a good reason, but my, I didn’t see that coming.


I understand Isabella’s mother and her reaction to all of this. Most wouldn’t react well to their entire world getting flipped inside out like this, especially when your daughter you’ve always kept close is apparently going to be just leaving all of a sudden.


This is one of the most unique fics I have ever read, there is quite literally nothing like this anywhere. And luckily, someone as skilled as you is taking care of the premise and making sure it reaches its full potential! I cannot wait to go on with the next chapter, this is just phenomenal and I know your worldbuilding is going to further impress me! Thank you so much for the swap, it was a pleasure.

 

Joey



Name: javu (Signed) · Date: 08 Feb 2019 09:57 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: A Child Of Oaxaca

KAITLIN! If we were together in the flesh right now, I would be grabbing your arm and shaking your entire person because that's how I express excitement for something when I don't have the words to express myself. 

 

I love history and I'm a total nerd. And one of my muses is the ancient civilizations of Mesoamerica. Mostly Mayan and Aztec. I know some about Olmec and Zapotec as well. And this story just makes my heart so happy. I'm not like an expert or anything, but I am at least familiar with most of the references here. 

 

I like how the carvings on the wands have Mayan, Aztec, or Zapotec roots. I think that's different and interesting. Are they just carvings or hieroglyphs? 

 

Ehecatl. When I read that Ehecatl was the wind god, I was like, "Umm... pretty sure that Quetzalcoatl is the wind god, or at least the Aztec one...?" But then I looked it up and it's just another name for him. Which leads me to ask, is Ehecatl the name for Quetzalcoatl in Zapotec culture? (I'm not as familiar with Zapotec and Wikipedia was unhelpful). Or is it a two-part name? Wikipedia seemed to suggest that, but that's not what I have learned. :/ 

 

The quetzal feathers. Wow. I can't remember what they were used for, but I remember that they were special and precious and expensive, yes? And the jaguar symbol! Yikes! Can't wait to see what that develops into! Her wand sounds awesome, and she's going to do amazing things with it, I think. How can she not, with such a unique and powerful(?) wand.

 

So, the wand proved that she has Zapotec in her. But she's confused because she thought she was Aztec, from her father. Could her mother be descended from Zapotec somehow? That's my current theory ;) 

 

Okay, so if you're worried that the history makes it too meaty, well. Maybe for others that is the case, but I am loving it. You could layer up history and culture and I would dance in the rain for it. If I could give this chapter a 20/10 I would. Looking foward to chapter 4! Really!

 

Aubrey/Alwynse. RvG February.

 



Name: javu (Signed) · Date: 08 Feb 2019 09:05 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: A Late Night Surprise

Yes yes yes! I was hoping the magic would be Aztec related! And the school is in Mexico City which was Tenochtitlan! Ahh! I'm super pumped for the history and aculture that you might potentially include in this story!

 

Who is this Marisol? "You forbid me? You know as well as anyone that I do not operate under the same rules as you." She's someone of special status clearly. It feels like a parent should have say/control over the decisions regarding their child's future, but apparently Marisol's authority supercedes that.

 

I thought the parallels to Harry were interesting. Both Harry and Isabella have someone break down their door at midnight to tell them that they're a wizard/witch and their guardian hadn't told them and was insistant that they weren't going to the magical school. And of course both Harry and Isabella wanted to go despite their guardian not wanting them to go.

 

Okay, but the thing is is that Isabella hasn't performed any magic yet. I feel like this could be a good plot point? Like, if she's descended from powerful Aztec warriors, the assumption would be that magic runs strong in her. But what if it doesn't and all the other kids mock her for it? Could be interesting!

 

Anyway, I'm hooked. As I mentioned in your spooky Ecuador story, I recently learned on my own about Mayan and Aztec civilizations. So a fanfiction that incorporates Aztec history, culture, and mythology. Bring it on! I'm so excited to see what you're going to use!

 

Alwynse. For our review swap and for RvG February!




Name: crestwood (Signed) · Date: 08 Feb 2019 07:49 AM · [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: Thirteen Candles

Hello Kaitlin! Finally able to get around to starting our double swap. (yesterday was my mother’s birthday and I wasn’t able to sneak away long enough to type this up)


I see why you were so excited to upload a new chapter of this story because we were both in this challenge together before my hiatus, so you must have started this one quite a while ago. Congratulations on continuing on with it! Always exciting to get back into something after some time.


So, to start, I have never read a fic set in Mexico before, or really any country outside of Europe or the US. I’m literally giddy to keep moving on with this one because from the very beginning you can really /feel/ the tangible proof that the story is very much tied to where it takes place, rather than being diverse in name alone.


Your descriptions really lend a sense of the location, with these small details that paint such a beautiful picture of the surrounding area - and tying it in with culture--the way the storm clouds tie into the growth of the grass that will feed their cattle.


I am assuming that the lady that says that the thirteenth year of her life will upend what she knows is a witch. At least that’s what I gathered.


I appreciated the emphasis in parts here on the sense of smell. That’s something that I tend to struggle with; I can never quite figure out how to incorporate it into my description, but the earthy smells of the cows and the chilies and spices do a lot of work to transport the reader to the place in question, much how smells can really trigger a certain spatial memory in real life.


(The mention of tres leches cake brought me back to my childhood, unexpectedly)


It’s interesting that children get introduced into the magical world at thirteen. I imagine that plenty of things would be different about the whole process surrounding this stuff, since there’s no real reason the Hogwarts way would become some sort of standard. I really liked the mental image of this elderly lady standing in the debris that was formally the front door. A wonderful scene to end the chapter on that makes me feel so eager to move on to the next one and see what’ll happen from this point on.


Hearing in your author’s note that you’ve spend a good amount of time in Mexico doesn’t come as a surprise--this feels very lived-in so far in a way that makes it clear that you are writing at least partially from experience. It’s such a delight to read this, and it truly is a breath of fresh air on the archives--in its genuine contribution to diverse reading and its clean, beautiful prose alike. I liked this quite a lot. I will get to your next review as soon as possible!

 

Joey



Name: Noelle Zingarella (Signed) · Date: 07 Feb 2019 05:40 PM · [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: A Child Of Oaxaca

Hi Kaitlin! I’m back for more reviewing for our swap and for the February Gryffindor Red vs. Gold; Team Red.


Well, it looks like Isabella’s mama is still pretty angry about the revelations of the night before. Her papa doesn’t look to happy about it either. I am impressed that Isabella is bold enough to seek out Marisol to take her shopping for school supplies while her parents are too upset to help her. I like Isabella’s spunk and that she’s willing to make things happen.


It seems very fitting that the entrance to the magical market is through the village church. Great job again with your descriptions of the church and the magic market. I felt I could really picture the places while I was reading about them.  


I particularly liked the wand store. The Mexican wands sound so much more interesting than the English ones. I would rather have a wand with awesome carvings and powerful stones on them. I’m very interested that Isabella picked such a special wand too. I expect exciting things are going to happen to her. Nice job working in the back story about the Cypress Tree and the quetzal bird. These details are making the story very interesting, so keep them coming!


I was amused that even though Isabella and Marisol are in a magic market, they eat tacos and drink coca cola. I agree heartily that things like food and (in my opinion) music transcend the magic/no magic boundaries. I also think it is sweet that Isabella is nervous about starting school. 


Looking forward to more of the story when you get to it!


Yours,

 

Noelle




Name: Downlow (Signed) · Date: 07 Feb 2019 08:11 AM · [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: Thirteen Candles

Hi Kaitlin. This is Downbelow from the forums :)

 

I must say, your descriptive writing is amazing. You're able to illustrate an entire environment in a way that makes the reader see it in their mind. Not everyone can do that so bravo :)

 

The symbolism of the atmosphere in relation to her emotions is amazingly mapped. I'm from a tropical country where the majority of the population depends on harvest so I can tell you confidently that you've captured the feelings towards rain and the smell of the animals really well. And the superstitious mind of the third world country? Spot on!

 

Ah spices! You definitely didn't forget that one :D And you've added most of the stuff we out in our food! You've done your research!

 

And I definitely did not see the ending coming! Wow wow ww. Amaizngly written! I get the feeling that you're going to align this nicely to Mexico! Can't wait to read the rest :D

 



Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 07 Feb 2019 05:30 AM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Isabella Chapter: A Child Of Oaxaca

Hi, Kaitlin. Finally you updated my favorite story.  One of the best things to read stories, is that you can travel the place you've never visited with the protagonist. I felt like you guided Mexico for me. :D

 

As you thought of weighing the wand in your other HP fanfic, TNGA, I think the scene how they chose Isabella's wand is fantastic, too. The contrast between her parents' confusion and the shopping scenes is also great. I feel for her parents, out of the blue, they had to part from their daughter, especially for her mother, as a regular. (I also think it interesting you named Mexican Muggle as 'regular' ).

The episode about the background of the holy tree is interesting, too. All Aztec things sounds cool. I wonder how powerful they were, the indigenous people at that time. My image is that the unidentified flying object is visiting the relic in Azteca. No wonder those indigenous people could use magic! If she inherited the mysterious magic from her father's side, she would be a great witch. 

 

The Mexican wands are engraved uniquely and attached with gems. It also sounds cool! The purple gem makes me imagine a powerful warrior. I expect there will be some duel scenes near future...

 

K

 



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