Hi Aph! Okay, so, I was about to dive right back into L'optimisme because I've gotten so embarrassingly far behind on it, but then I decided to check out one of your other pieces. Had no idea what I was walking into with this one but I'm so glad I chose it!
Even from the very beginning, there's this underlying sense that something about the narrator is... off. His consuming obsession with this golden stranger is a bit of a red flag, but I didn't really know what tp expect. It's so beautiful, but in this twisted, dark way in which you don't really know whether the narrator is a protagonist or an antagonist. I love it. :P
The moon tangles in his hair -- how do you do this witchcraft. No, seriously. I'm sure I say this EVERY time I review anything of yours but your descriptions are to die for. (Pun sort of intended?) And I just love the way you used the theme of light in this fic and how every time Hyperion is mentioned, he's compared to the moon, sun, stars, gold, silver, or fog. And the way the theme of light colours the entire fic is just breathtaking. The mythological references also fit like a glove.
So, that plot twist caught me 100% by surprise. I was just too absorbed in the story to predict anything about it. I thought the reveal that the narrator was Albus was enough of a surprise that I had no idea there was another revelation on its way. And him being a vampire sort of... makes sense. Like it lends context to all the mythological references and his obsession with Hyperion. And the thing that gets me is you hinted at it all along, but it was so subtle that I didn't pick it up. This: I am lucky beyond life. -- is the most clever sentence ever.
It's also really interesting how Hyperion is described as being otherworldly and so pale and with cold hands and basically descriptors that you usually use for vampires, whereas Albus, the one who actually is a vampire, is describing the very British weather and wanting true love and thinking about the loneliness of his namesakes. It's almost like you've reversed the imagery of humans and vampires in this! It makes the final plot twist even more of a surprise because if vampires had even crossed my mind before, I don't know that I'd pinpoint it as Albus right away.
That last scene is so powerful, too, after the punch of the plot twist and then just the image of Hyperion lying there in the flowers, the way something so dark is portrayed in such a beautiful way.
CC: I have none. This is flawless.
I did find one typo, though: until something catches me eye -- unless he is a pirate, I think that should say 'my' ;)
AMAZING story. Thanks so much for the swap! ♥
Hello, I'm here for BvB.
Oh. My. Word.
I was NOT expecting this to end the way it did. What a very clever piece of work; seeking and stalking and romancing and then - wham. I feel like this story has seduced me; drawing me in, captivating me, then killing me at the end. At first, I wasn't sure whether the narrator was Albus the first or the second, but it added to the mystique to have to read on and find out. What an enigmatic character he is here.
As all of your work, it is stunningly written and full of the most beautiful descriptions that hit all five senses. All your scenes are so vivid and I feel as though I'm actually there.
Hi Brax! :)
Ahhh thank so much for stopping by and for your response! This is actually a really old one-shot, haha, but it means a lot to me: it's a one-shot I loved writing so much and had so much fun writing so I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I wanted to do a vampire story for a while before this, and I always loved the kind of creepy, dangerous-type romance so stereotypical of vampire stories, so I really wanted to get some of that feeling into it, you know?
I originally didn't intend to keep the narrator's identity a secret, but it just happened that way when I wrote the beginning, and as it went on, it never seemed to be the right time to reveal it so I kept it until the end :P So it wasn't exactly intentional, haha, but I'm glad you thought it worked and enjoyed it all the same!
Thank you so much! This was one of the first things I wrote which had this kind of description in, I think, so it's so lovely to hear that.
Ahhh thank you so much for the lovely review! :)