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Name: Renacera (Signed) · Date: 10 Dec 2017 12:35 AM · [Report This]
Story:Talking War Over Breakfast Chapter: Talking War Over Breakfast

Hello again!

Okay, so it seems like maybe "Dead Eyes and Red Eyes" takes place essentially right after "Unforgivable." Or is that wrong again? Omg, I need to get my timeline straight.

Well, I liked that I got to see this conversation between Astoria and Brendon! I really do love their dynamic. And Brendon seems like such a good father. He's still really cool, despite being a dad, haha. So, characterization-wise, this felt good again! I love what a clear grasp you have on your characters. It's really nice to see an author who knows their people inside and out. The conversation between Astoria and Brendon felt so natural and seamless (something that I am so struggling to achieve in the edit of Collateral that I definitely envy your ability to pull it off!). They're clearly siblings, but I get the feeling of hero-worship from Astoria so easily, and I get Brendon's older-brother vibe just as clearly.

I loved that Johanna was in the background here. I've skimmed the summaries of some of your other stories and see that she'll show up as an adult eventually, so I'm interested to see how that goes when I read those ones! Here, she's just cute and she loves her dad. I like that.

The only error I saw in this was in a line of dialogue Astoria has where you've written, "Do he really get death threats?" when I think you likely meant "Does he..."

Other than that, another lovely story! I'm just flying through these! I love this universe so much already, and I can't wait to read more!

Best,
Emily



Name: manno-malfoy (Signed) · Date: 30 Apr 2017 04:17 PM · starstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Talking War Over Breakfast Chapter: Talking War Over Breakfast

Hey there, Branwen!

I feel that Astoria/Draco is one of those pairings that don't get that much love, and it's not fair because how they got together and their post-war personalities can go so many different ways. Which is why I liked to hunt them down and explore them. 

 Right off the bat, I like that Draco and Astoria in your story are seemingly decent people (because that means they'll bring up a nice Scorpius into the world, and that too is very important to me)! I felt like Astoria is still figuiring herself out, and that's okay because she also comes off as young (still idolising her brother, seeking his opinion about Draco because she was considering seeing him again, not being too careful with words around her niece). It makes her more interesting even and leaves more room for development as the story goes on.

 I liked how you showed her internal struggle with the slight possibility that she might see anything at all redeemable about Draco, that closing sentence being the prime example. She claims it's for the alcohol, she tries to expel concerns about him poisoning it...

 And I think that's important in such a short story, to make every word matter and imply something about the characters and the situation, and I believe you've done that brilliantly. I already feel like I know a decent bit about these characters. I do wish it hadn't ended so soon, but I was delighted to see that you've written another piece following this one, and I'm quite eager to read it. 

I really do appreciate how sweet and simple but also well done this was! 

 



Author's Response:

Hi! Thank you so, so much for stopping by.

 

I'm also a really big fan of Astoria/Draco fics - they're not a super popular ship, but I can't recall reading a whole lot of them that I didn't actively like, because there's no way that at least one of them doesn't end up incredibly damaged from the war. In this, clearly it's both, to some extent - but they are definitely fundamentally decent people, and they bring up a very nice and likable Scorpius (which I am also 1000% in favor of - I love Scorpius).

 

Thank you again - this was so, so sweet and appreciated!



Name: dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap (Signed) · Date: 30 Apr 2017 07:57 AM · [Report This]
Story:Talking War Over Breakfast Chapter: Talking War Over Breakfast

 Having him treat me like an equal - like someone who knows things - always made me feel like I was doing something right.

 

 

After reading the story about why exactly Astoria feels the way she does about her brother I think this gave me a little bit of closure because I wanted more before. I still do want more so I’m going to have to search for the rest of your stories concerning Astoria. I think the change in her is pretty neat. On the surface she seems like she’s so much happier (and inside too). Just the way she interacts with her brother, the fact that her interest is finally piqued on something (even if it is Draco Malfoy) and the small concern for her niece Jo.

 

Love reading about a tiny Jo!

 

 

“Do he really get death threats?”

 

 

Small typo here!

 

 

Again, I would have loved a little more. I know you like to give us small snapshots so I’ll have to find out all about their interaction in your other story but I kind of wish that everything was packed into one. I like to know everything at once. The suspense is always killing me!

 

 

I think it was good that Astoria seemed interested in Draco. She seems keen to know information about him but still wary, which makes the slow burn between them believable. I just wouldn’t want either of them to jump into something because they are both damaged goods. They need to take care of themselves before they can be involved with each other. I know that’s where it’s going to end up but I like the pace you have so far. There’s no sense in rushing a good thing, right?



Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 30 Apr 2017 02:26 AM · [Report This]
Story:Talking War Over Breakfast Chapter: Talking War Over Breakfast

Hi, Branwen. Bonus Review from Lions-2 !

As I had much interest in PTSD and Wat themed, I chose this. More reviews will come around the same or similar themed fics. I’ve never read Slytherin war hero episodes before.

Interesting cut from Astoria’s brother, Brendon who had fought through the second Wizarding War. It’s so adorable that Brendon’s daughter imitated the duel, practicing disarming charm and he tried to correct the spell for her. As I read chapter 40 of CINS at hpff, I could easily enter your world about Draco Malfoy and Astoria Greengrass.

Since I’ve written how weak Draco’s mind is and how he struggled with his mental weakness in my stories, your plot is new to me. Leaking information to capture more remaining Death Eaters or the other criminals to Aurors sounds cool. I feel like reading your stories about Draco who tries to cooperate with the Aurors more. From this story, Astoria seems to doubt Draco’s purity still, it’s very intriguing how she would trust in him in the future. He seemed to need hiding from his old friends because of the leak. I imagine what a severe situation he had until the entire peaceful era arrived. It must be interesting if you have already written the story about Draco after the war, or are you already preparing this plot?

At the same time I have interest in how Astoria fought through the Battle of Hogwarts with his brother and I’d like to see a feud between Daphne at the time more in detailed. There must have been more scenes when Astoria witnessed Draco’s cowardly behavior in his earlier days at his seventh year.



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