Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 24 Sep 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Daddy's Little Flowers

Hiya! Stopping by for a quick review for MAGIC!

 

I was browsing through stories and when I caught the summary and idea behind this story and I knew I would have to stop and take a look. Partly because I haven't read many stories that look at the relationship between Lily and Petunia but also because I never really thought much about what their relationship looked like and how it evolved over time. Like, there were little glimpses into what their relationship was like, and it obviously didn't turn out to be very good in the end, but I never contemplated how it was before the animosity and I'm kind of excited to see what this story has to tell about it.

 

That said, I love this start. I love the perspective of young Petunia, how everything is so simple and she's sort of just following along where she's supposed to go. I love her fascination with her baby sister, how she notices that attention isn't fully on her, how it's a short lived observation as her mum hugs her and she forgets about it. It's totally fitting of her age and it's so normal, you know. The jealousy that can be distracted from. I think it's going to be interesting to read on and see how it develops from this normal thing to something more...

 

Great job!

-Mikaela    

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for the review <3

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 18 Sep 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hi Kaitlin!

 

I have to say, this was a very impressive and moving piece. I haven't read a lot of your writings (It would take ages for me to get through it all) but of everything I've read, this is actually one of my favourites for a number of reasons.

 

One: You give an incredible voice to the Manticore. You take what the common knowledge is about them and completely throw it out. You give us this creature who is thoughtful, passionate and knowledgeable. He's very articulate, makes strong arguments and answers all questions calmly, even if the one asking the question isn't being quite as respectful. It's really refreshing, and interesting and you did a great job with it!

 

Two: The trial itself. It's well thought out and constructed. There was no doubt in my mind that Hermione was one of the masterminds behind the entire thing. Super articulate and I love how well controlled it was, even when people got emotional about asking some questions, and having accusations about things they didn't know the full story of. The entire structure, really, was great, all the way through to the final say of the trial.

 

Three: How relatable this trial was to everything. The Manticore asking if it was appropriate to judge his whole race based on the action of a few bad members. Like, speaks volumes about issues that exist in real life and was a really valid point. Also the way Ms. Patil was continually going off about knowing better, and it had to be the Manticores...like, real life problem that was dealt with in such a good way by Kinglsey.

 

Like, overall, I was super impressed and enjoyed this story. Gave a lot of interesting perspectives and a lot to think about. Great job!

 

-Mikaela

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 18 Sep 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Passports Required

Hiya!

 

I've ran across this title a number of times as I've been perusing the archive and finally thought it was about high time to see what this story was about. I can now say though, I definitely should have stopped by sooner because this story was quite the amusing tale.

 

"I prefer Occasional Spiritual Adviser."

I should have known the second St. Matthew's assistant insisted he deal with this one himself, that it was bound to be an entertaining tale. It took until the above line came up and I knew it was going to be good. Fred Weasley, dead five years, and already bored of every opportunity being dead could grant him. I can only laugh that he had an entire album of photos of all of those things, and a great tale of all the placed he'd been, looking to get his application taken seriously. The fact that he had this whole tale to tell about his family, and about how he had to be this adviser, and how he was adamant that's what he should be called...so true to what his character was when alive, and definitely to be expected with him dead too!

 

I also adore the end and will not admit to feeling a wee bit emotional as George continually pushes off his wedding until ghost Fred arrives. Like, little emotional, little brilliant, and love how the whole story comes together. It was really, really wonderful! Great job!

 

 

-Mikaela

Author's Response:

Hi there!  Thanks so much for coming by and reading and reviewing!  It always makes me smile when people find my little stories and enjoy them. :)

 

Fred just strikes me as a stickler for wanting them to get the title right - hehehehe.

 

And yes, poor guy.  He's BORED.  He needs mischief to get into, and that's hard to come by in Heaven.  And when hasn't he had a plan to get what he wants.  That's the thing, everyone thinks Fred and George are just impetuois causers of chaos...but really, they always have a plan.  You don't buy a magic shop just months after leaving school early without knowing how to plan.  So, he uses those skills here to get what he wants.  hehehe

 

Thanks so much!  Your review was wonderful to receive and I'm happy you enjoyed all of it.

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 18 Sep 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Hat Checkers

Beth! This was so, so wonderful! I was skimming through stories on the archives, trying to find something light and happy and good after a not so great couple of days at work, and this was exactly what I needed!

 

Even though I haven't read a lot of stories centred around Dobby, this is exactly how I see him-trying his hardest to make working at Hogwarts fun, to give the house elves something enjoyable to do, to make connections so the other house elves can feel the joy he has in being a free elf. Jo-Jo is his perfect companion as well because she's excitable-she loves what Dobby shows her and how fun his ideas can be. She kind of spurs him on, as every time she got excited about a rule Dobby made up for Hat Checkers, he'd come up with something more complex or exciting or ridiculous just to get a better response. Pretty sure Jo-Jo's enthusiasm helped the other house elves give Hat Checkers a chance, as Dobby seems like the kind who could get suspicious looks about how ‘fun' some of his game ideas are XD

 

Overall though, this was a super fun read. I love Dobby and Jo-Jo, I love how he uses the hats from SPEW for Hat Checkers and I love how all of the house elves get in and the idea and are having a blast playing the game.  I may now need to go searching for more of these stories, because it's just wonderful!

 

Lovely story!

 

-Mikaela

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 11 Sep 2017 · Title: Chapter 5: The Ministry

Hiya! It's been a while, but I am back for more of Finn!
I've already commented on Tom so much between this story and Hero, but it never ceases to amaze me how well you've characterized him. He definitely isn't a character to cross and makes it known, time after time. He also has a very morbid sense of curiosity, which apparently doesn't alarm any of his friends here. I mean, I get it, but at the same time...he's got to have that ‘get as far away as possible' vibe to him...
As for Finn...he's kind of rude. Like, I'm glad he finished his part of the assignment and went to find Brindley right away, but like...to go ahead and tell Kettleburn that they both want Magical Law Enforcement? No surprise, but like...not cool Finn. At least the experience was new enough and Brindley decided to make the best of it.
I also enjoyed in this chapter how Brindley and Finn each got to see another little piece of each other. Like, Brindley saw his freak out over the spider along with creating a distraction to allow him to pull the file he wanted, and Finn caught the whole ‘why bother with a house' thing and didn't question the whole potion thing. And Brindley learning Finn was good a runes, despite his inability to hand in work on time. Like, it so fascinating to watch their relationship build and see how they change and get to know each other over time.
I am mildly concerned about Finn after this ministry stuff though. Get that strange feeling that the desk he pulled that file from was NOT the place he was meant to drop that note. Just get that sneaking suspicion (mostly because he wasn't sure who the head auror was) that it was probably not the desk he intended it for and the consequences to that one are not going to be nice. Just because that's how things always seem to go for Finn...
Anyways. I think that's all I've got for this chapter, so I'll leave off with my favourite quote from this chapter:
"You're right. Idiots Anonymous isn't my first choice of subscription, but I respect that you're trying."
Lovely chapter!-Mikaela

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 27 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Frostbite

Hiya! I’ve been on a big of a Founder’s Era kick today and this story fit the bill!

 

This was an interesting read. I’ve read a couple of stories about Helena and each one has highlighted her character in a different way. Not saying any one way is better than another, but here, she’s almost a little bitter about how life has worked for her. Like, I don’t know why that’s the feel I get from this chapter, but it just…there’s definite anger and unease and I’m trying really hard to remember her character’s backstory because maybe that’s where I’m getting the feelings from…

 

Regardless, I love how her last thoughts are stuck on the riddle to the Ravenclaw common room, and how the riddle really didn’t have a wrong answer. It was just a bit more ironic for her, in the end. I love all the names she calls the door knocker and how she regrets her choice of saying death by fire was her choice. I’m not quite sure the ice would have treated her much fairly, but the fire and the intensity I think definitely set the stage for her character here. And she actually says it herself, how fire is all she’s known and how she felt at constant competition with her mother.

 

I really enjoyed how you weaved this chapter together and how all the pieces came together. I appreciate the opportunity to see Helena in a different light, and catch a moment that sparks me into learning more about her character. Fantastic!

 

-Mikaela xx

Author's Response:

Heya! Thanks for dropping in.

 

Yes, Helena is quite bitter and angry here. I wanted to write a sassy Helena, and this is what happened! She's also a bit petty, yet still very dramatic. It didn't really matter which death she chose from the Robert Frost poem - she was going to be dramatic about it either way.

 

Thanks for the review, Mikaela :)

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 27 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 4: Chapter IV

Hiya! Another chapter down!

 

Salazar! I've been waiting for the final of the four! I feel like he's been the one I've been most interested in getting to know, in getting to see the world through. He's so different from the rest of them, and I think it mainly is a thing in my head, due to the fact that he does end up leaving the school, leaving the other because of the riff that's only chapters away, I'm sure. But. I am happy to have finally gotten his view, though some part of me wishes it was before the point of him turning and not trusting muggles as much again...

 

But. Things I loved. He taught his students everything he knew. He didn't control what they were and weren't learning, finding the Dark Arts just as important as the Defence against them. It's not surprising, as least to me, that he did this because it was the agreement to teach them everything they knew. I am surprised that none of the founders were concerned during that first year that all the students weren't getting the same education on all of the topics. I mean, in part it's probably because they mostly only saw the students in their house, but it's interesting. I am happy to see it didn't take long for them to split things up.

 

Another thing I loved was seeing Salazar in love, to see him have feelings for this muggle and to really, truly give those feelings a chance. He was destined to be this ‘evil' wizard who hated muggles and imprinted this upon his students. It was never meant to be like that, but due to the series of events, it did. He actually probably really could have continued on, being more open and accepting, if he hadn't taken Maeve's departure so hard. I mean, I can get his view point (sort of), because she was really important, but the fact that he built his trust in muggles in this one relationship (in addition to his past experience)...probably not the best.

 

I think those are all the big things I wanted to chat about from this chapter. I have really quite enjoyed it so far and cannot wait to get into the next chapter!

 

-Mikaela xx

Author's Response:

Welcome back!

Yeah, I think it would have been interesting to see Salazar before this point too, but I felt that the previous chapters needed to be told by their respective narrators, and this one was a good one for Salazar to tell, so he got this one.

 

In a way, I can sort of see where Salazar is coming from. But yeah, in the end I do agree with the others that it's probably not best to be teaching 12 year olds the Dark Arts. And I think this year as they realise they're teaching different things kind of surprised them too, like they hadn't really considered that not everyone would have the *same* education when all four of the founders know each of the topics. But yeah, there was a learning curve in establishing the school and not everything went smoothly from the beginning... because it never does in real life! :P

 

I'm so glad you liked seeing Salazar in love. I thought that was pretty important too because as you said, most of the legends about him are about the darker side of him, or about him leaving, and he may have been a layered and complicated person who is later known more for his darker side, but that doesn't mean he can't be in love too.

 

Thanks so much for reading!! I appreciate the review so much, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story! ♥

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 27 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 3: Chapter III

Hiya! Back for yet another chapter!

 

I'm pretty sure I have to keep reading until I get one chapter in each of the character's perspectives. I really do love the way you have each character take a chapter and lead us through the creation of Hogwarts. It really opens the floor to getting to know characters and seeing things happen from a number of different angles.

 

Of course, that brings on my discussion of Helga this chapter. She is exactly what I imagined her to be. She tries to work out all the small details, thinks of all these things no one else does, and keeps track of most of it all on her own. She's organized, with her lists and memory, and really takes the time to think of all the flaws that could appear with the school and how to work through them. She really is a good mastermind behind this plan. I get this feeling as things develop further, she may be the one to redesign how the classes are taught...

 

I really loved the process of building Hogwarts as well. I love how it was all different groups of beings, from giants to house elves to witches and wizards...it was such a great collaboration of minds and powers and it lead to something really, really beautiful.  I also probably should say I love how the name of Hogwarts came about, and how Foxglove was another thought. Like, the list Helga created for names, and the fact that there was a good reason behind it, was really awesome as well.

 

The only other thing I want to comment on his Salazar, and how he has this thing with Maeve. I mean, it's good that he's got a think for her, even if she is a muggle, but it's so obvious that something has to go wrong there-or somewhere along the line. And I kind of dread it because he is a really good part of this school and the founder's do stand so strong together here...it will definitely be interesting to see.

 

And another comment, before I forget, is the appearance of all the secret passageways. I love that they were built by Godric because he kept getting lost. Like, totally part of his character, totally believable, and a really cool reason for them to exist!

 

This chapter, I also want to share my favourite quote, because it amused me.

 

"I am not sure I want you to be managing the floor plan anymore."

 

Lovely chapter!

 

-Mikaela xx

Author's Response:

Hi Mikaela! ♥

 

I'm so glad you liked this portrayal of Helga and that it fit in with what you'd imagined her to be. I mean, I know Hufflepuff sometimes gets kind of looked down on by the other houses later on (Harry seems to think they're not very smart) but Hogwarts would have gone *nowhere* without Helga and all her connections to so many groups of people and her intent organization and dedication. #puffsrepresent

 

Thank you, it's great to hear you liked the process of building Hogwarts. I figured that would be one of Helga's strengths, knowing people and magical creatures in all these different walks of life and encouraging collaboration that relies on everyone's different strengths. And I'm glad you liked the naming process as well! That one took some hard thought because Hogwarts really is such a weird name XD

 

As you've read by now, your suspicions about Salazar/Maeve are well founded. (Haha, founder puns :P )

 

So glad you liked the secret passageways as well! Hogwarts has so many quirks, it just seemed right that there would be a quirky reason for some of them!

 

Thanks so much for reading and for another amazing review!

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 27 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 2: Chapter II

Hiya! Back for another chapter!

 

I knew the whole switching POV's thing was going to be a good thing to get to know the Founder's better. It just gives such different and  more complete views of them and I like the opportunity to see what each experiences and the ideas they bring to the table.

 

That said, Godric is thus far one of my favourites. When he's asked to fight, he wants nothing more than to fight fair. He doesn't want to use the advantage of magic just because he is capable of it. He wants to make sure he has no greater advantage than the person standing next to him, to make himself their equals, rather than better, bigger or stronger. He also wants to avoid confrontation as, the second magic came into things, everything went to chaos. I mean, as Rowena said, it's only a matter of time before the muggles turn against the wizards, and once it happens, there is no repairing that relationship.

 

I like how you showed the change after the battle, how the argument extended beyond the adults not wanting to associate with another. The fact that it spread down to the children, with them being more afraid to use magic, with the muggle children not being allowed out with the magical ones...it really put to light how bad the problems became, put to light why things in the wizarding world end up like they do so many years/decades/centuries down the way.

 

I also appreciate how Godric teaches the children just that little bit of magic, and how that sparks this idea of starting a school. I find that both Godric and Rowena have concerns as to what will happen with separating the children, with separating wizards from muggles, but I think they both realize that the concern won't make it stop happening. And they want something good to come of it as well.

 

This, again, was a really lovely chapter. A lot more character development and a lot of interesting points brought up.

 

 

-Mikaela xx

Author's Response:

Hi again and welcome back! ♥

 

Thanks, I'm glad you like the switching POV's! I figured a story like this would be best through all four perspectives, as it gives a more rounded view of Hogwarts as a whol, and I'm so happy you like the way it enhances the characters.

 

Godric is nothing if not honourable! (Plus I imagine he kind of likes using the sword, it's a lot more impressive than a wand. :P)

 

Thanks, I'm glad you liked how the effects of the battle were shown and how it extended all the way to the children.  And I'm happy to hear that it explains how Muggle/wizard relations could have ended up in a place centuries later where the Statute of Secrecy was needed.

 

Yes, you're totally right - they're both concerned but they're realizing they have to work with what they think will happen, not what they want to happen with wizard/muggle relations because they can't solve that massive of a problem.

 

Thanks so much! So glad you liked the chapter and how the story is shaping up!

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 27 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Chapter I

Hiya! Just stopping by for some random reviews this afternoon :)

 

I've slowly been widening my horizon, reading stories with different genres and eras than I would traditionally go for, and have found that I actually quite enjoy the Founder's Era. I'm not sure if it's because of how wide open it is, or because I know what comes after (with Hogwarts being what it is, and what happens between the founders and such), but I find that I quite enjoy stories written in this time, and this story is definitely high on the list of ones I've enjoyed

 

From the beginning, I was drawn into this story. It had a fairy tale like feel starting out and then Rowena is introduced. She's definitely the image of royalty, living in this castle and having this expectation that she's more than old enough to be getting married and has to find someone in these sort of set guidelines from society. She's exactly how I imaged her to be, doing things only because she has to but not agreeing with the idea of marrying one of these men whose only interest is her family name and wealth.

 

I also love how in this first chapter we're also introduced to Helga, Salazar and Godric. This first chapter gives me a good general feel for the characters and where they are significant in Rowena's life. I am look forward to future chapters in each of the other's perspective, and I think that's going to be a really neat reading experience as each character views the other differently and I think it's going to give a more complete view of all of the characters.

 

That said, I think those are the major things I wanted to mention from this chapter before moving onto the next. Love the foundation you've built here and can't wait to read more!

 

 

-Mikaela xx

Author's Response:

OMG HI MIKAELA THANK YOU ♥♥ This was the most amazing surprise!

 

Glad to hear you enjoy Founders Era! It really is so unlike all the others. There are only tiny snippets of canon available and I think the inaccessibility of just how long ago it was puts some people off, but I'm really glad you enjoy it and this story in particular!

 

I'm so happy the story drew you in from the beginning and that you like the tone. You're right, now that I think about it, it is a bit fairy tale-esque in the beginning as it's a fancy gatherinbg :P I'm glad you like the portrayal of Rowena and that she's how you imagined her to be!

 

The other chapters in a rotating POV I felt was essential to get a well rounded picture of what it was like, as you know already, the founders are quite different people and as such would view the world/each other in different ways.

 

Thanks soo much for stopping by with these wonderful reviews today! I really appreciate it!

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 27 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hiya!

 

So the one thing I have never before read is a story about a character who decides to become a ghost after they die. I don't know if it's because it's not a common thing to write or if I've just never looked to see if they exist, but when I saw this story in passing, I decided it might be a high time to give it a try.

 

I'm going to start by saying that death scene made me a bit uncomfortable. And I don't mean that in the ‘I'm squeamish and didn't take your warning seriously' sort of way. I mean the scene made me uncomfortable more so because of the audience who continued to push him and watched as the entire thing unfolded. Like, I know was different then, and the expectations were as well, but it makes me super uncomfortable, the idea of people coming to watch this occur and just...it's a weird concept. And it was actually good that it made me uncomfortable, because it really goes to show the power in the scene that you wrote (In some way that makes that not sound terrible, if that makes sense?).

 

I was fascinated by your description of when Sir Nicholas actually died, and how he came to this point where he knew he had an option as to which way to go. He could have moved on to the unknown but simply didn't because surprising weren't his thing. The scene that followed, with him feeling like he was going through the tiniest straw was really good as well. I could see it, almost feel it, in my head and it was just an interesting way of looking at the process of becoming a ghost.

 

I also, in the end feel a little bad for Sir Nicholas. He definitely didn't know what he was getting himself into. And that leads to the quote I'm gonna end here with...

 

"I've been here now for a little over five hundred years and I still have the rest of eternity to go."

 

Lovely job!

 

-Mikaela xx

Author's Response:

Hello you lovely human being. Thank you so much for this encouraging review! It really means a lot to me. ~Kaitlin

 

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 27 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: The Seige

Hiya!

 

I think the Founder's era is an interesting time period. Like, you have no set rules or regulations on Hogwarts or the magic that gets taught, and it's not universal to have an education. It is literally being built and created as the Founder's go and so I find anyone who steps into is deserves a lot of credit. :)

 

The big thing I want to start with is your plot. I love how you set this story up. Helena is out, minding her own business when suddenly everything changes. She's running for her life and then there's shouting and spells and a sort of battle going on. It's never really clear to me if the group attacking are Witches/Wizards or Muggles, but I think that's half of the adventure. Like, it's this big battle and so many things are happening and the castle is in danger and I was just drawn into the action and everything going on so easily. I quite enjoyed that.

 

I also love Helena's character. I love how she has these little ties to Salazar, despite the fact that he had left the castle. Like, just because the Founder's had their falling out, she doesn't see things as changed, as any different from what she's always known. That was really nice to see. It was also nice that she wanted to fight, wanted to protect her home regardless of the fact that she wasn't the best spellcaster-and was well aware of it. Like, it just spoke volumes about her character and actually gave me a bit of a different perspective of her (Not quite like her mother with the focus on studies and knowing things. More laid back.)

 

Overall, I quite liked what you did with this, and you did a good job with the Founder's era!

 

 

-Mikaela xx

Author's Response:

Hi Mikaela!

 

Thanks for reading and taking time to review! <3

 

It's true - founder's era is so wide open, it's pretty exciting to write! Although as I am lifting the plot of this pretty directly from Aida, I may not deserve as much credit as most lol :P

 

This is definitely meant to be an exciting chapter. It sounds like you felt that way, which is very good news. The Vikings are a mix of magic and non-magic. I imagine the divisions were less severe back then, so there were some people attacking with muggle weapons, some with Norse spells, and some with both. But I definitely agree that isn't clear. Something to considering changing, thanks for mentioning it =)

 

Aw, yeah, Helana and Salazar. He has a sort of uncle-like relationship with her, especially since she doesn't know her father. And he's still a jerk in mmy headcanon - but I think in real life there are people we love as children because they are good to us, and then as adults we find that they had flaws we fight find hard to look over if we didn't already love them. So even though Helena knows what happened, she can't help but like Salazar.

 

Your interpretation of her is laid back is interesting! I definitely agree that Helena is less studious than her mother. And I feel sure Rowena would agree, as well - and not be pleased about it, either! lol

 

Many thanks for the review!

Renee

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 27 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: A First Time for Everything

Hiya!

 

So the other day when I was exploring around the archive, I ran into In Darkest Knight and may have unintentionally become attached to Millie and Sirius. And due to that attachment, I have found myself back on your author page specifically looking for more of the two of them because I was super curious about the fake dating, and then it not really being fake dating anymore, and how that came about. So. Here I am.

 

I've said it before, but I love Millie's character. Her sarcasm is perfect. It's not too heavy and rude, but at the same time it's enough where she's told to shut up (I know the feeling...I'm pretty good at this exact thing...). She also is so easy going with everything. Like, Lily showing up in her room she sort of shrugs off, offering a place to hide. She runs into James and chats, tries to avoid talking about Lily. Just keeps going about her day. Even after Lily forgets her birthday and feels horrible about it. Like, she's such a chill person. I love it.

 

As for Sirius? Well, he's entertaining as well. I loved James calling him out for staring at Millie. And then telling him to leave her alone. I don't see that going well. Partially because I know Millie and Sirius become a thing, but also because James said no and then gave Sirius a challenge. It'll definitely be interesting to see how that plays out...

 

Great first chapter!

 

-Mikaela xx

Author's Response:

Teehee ^.^ I'm glad to see you back! Fair warning, this was my first fic, so be prepared for a bumpy ride. I still love this story, though. I got to grow so much writing it.

 

In my opinion, you're not doing sarcasm right until you're told to shut up. Millie is nailing it! There is a reason she is so chill, too, that is never quite explored properly, alas. If only...

 

If Sirius is entertaining, he has served his purpose, I think.

 

Thanks for reading and reviewing, Mikaela :)

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 27 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Eight

**Transferred from HPFF**

 

Oh my goodness.

 

So. I previously read this while looking over some of the entries for the Second Person challenge. And I didn't review it at the time because I started too close to the time I needed to go to work but even reading this a second time...I'm just blown away by how sweet of a moment this is and how sweet Molly is.

 

Her determination that Harry deserved something good, deserved to receive something as his parents would have made sure he was loved and got things...well, just...it made me a little emotional. Especially when it came to her thinking about what she would have wanted for her children, and how each moment and each stitch made her open her heart and pour love over a boy who grew up in a world that was very clearly lacking it...like, you really characterized Molly well here and caught the essence of her feelings for Harry and her feelings that everyone deserves to be loved.

 

I also fell in love with the way she thought about these sweaters and how, despite her son's complaints about them, she continued to make them and even made one for Harry. Like, having these eight sweaters for these eight children...you've seriously found an emotional point to write and I really love it and apologize for rambling but this was really sweet and I'm glad I got the opportunity to read it. It really was lovely!

 

 

-Mikaela

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 27 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 4: Under the Helmet

Hiya! Back again!

 

"(Finns were not studious creatures)". I definitely laughed at that. Especially because I knew the moment he left the common room to head to the library that he was going to run into McCroy. It was too perfect of a set up and I enjoyed watching them go back and forth about the book, McCroy not just giving into Finn being rude. He needs that in his laugh. I also think, despite Finn's best attempts, that McCroy is getting under his skin. I think she really bothers him, pokes him in his weak spots when he's not expecting it...like, she's not really telling him anything he doesn't already know, but she always does so in a way that makes him think. I kind of really like her and have a feeling things are going to be more between them...

 

Also, before I go too far, that black gunk she's coughing up? Like, blowing that off like it's fine definitely isn't going to convince anyone. Maybe it's because in my nurse brain, I'm totally like, yeah, not a good thing at all, but like...Finn points it out despite being deflected and it's interesting. I know she was just talking about treatment in the last chapter but...

 

I also found it interesting with Finn and Tom back at Blishwick Manor. Like, the Besmurten are definitely a wee bit creepy. Not people I would want to be around. But Tom handles them like a pro, and him and those books...I'm left to assume, since the scene with Slughorn is here, that Tom is looking for information regarding Horcruxes. I'm also assuming he's not finding what he's looking for, as he keeps taking more books.

 

I also don't see this ministry thing going well. For some reason, Finn and doing things for the Besmurten...like, I don't think he's a bad enough character for that. It will be interesting to see where that goes...

 

That said, another fantastic chapter! See you soon! :D

 

-Mikaela xx

Author's Response:

Hi Mikaela! Glad I could make you laugh :D Brindley definitely knows where to poke Finn, and it was so fun to write! Thank you so much for this review! I really enjoy them from you :)

 

Battleship: Hogwarts

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 26 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hiya!

 

Ever since Fantastic Beasts came out and started in on this whole story line with Grindelwald, I've found myself more and more drawn into the dynamic of not only Grindelwald, but the relationship between Grindelwald and Dumbledore as well. I think the big part of my interest with the two characters is how they grew and changed from wanting the same things and lead completely opposite lives, because they went from this thing that could have probably easily taken over the world to these two people who had to stand against each other, despite every other feeling they had for one another...like, it's such a complex web and more and more since the film came out, I've been finding myself reading stories about the pair of them. Long story short, that's what brought me here and I quite like what you've done here.

 

I have never gotten a clear image of what Albus was like when he was younger. I think it's mostly because every time I try, what I come up with seems more like a stretch of the imagination, but I do really like what you've done here. I like that he's one to find books as a release, as a place to go to escape for a while, and be somewhere different.  I like that he gets so lost in that world that it takes him time to adjust, to learn that the outside world needs to be lived in and experienced as books don't leave you in the present.

 

I love how you transition through Albus growing up and becoming friends with Gellert. It's a nice flow to the story, and the references to books, and how Albus should have learned something from them as life went on was cool. I loved how it all tied together, how it helped finish the story with the Hero vs Villian and how it wasn't necessarily clear who was on which side, if there even were sides...like, it was really good reference, and really helped create Albus into this very real character, and Gellert's as well. I really struggle with his character, and his relationship with Albus, because I have this idea of what Tom Riddle was like, and how everything was for his own gain, and it was more manipulation to get what he wanted, and with Gellert, I just struggle to separate that. I don't quite know why, but like...you do a good job here of showing that Gellert and Albus's relationship wasn't about obtaining a task for themselves. It was more than that and there were feelings there and just...you do a good job! I really enjoyed this!

 

 

-Mikaela xx

Author's Response:

Hi Mikaela!

 

I think some of the information that we've got from canon, and of course now Fantastic Beasts, means that Grindelwald is a really fascinating character.  Of course, I find the parallels that can be drawn between his rise and WW2 very interesting, though I don't touch on it much here, but writing about them was so fun.  (As a side note, if you're interested in their relationship and beautiful writing, check out Aphoride's AP, and especially L'optimisme!)

 

Albus Dumbledore is a very intimidating character for me to write, because I think that everyone has such a clear idea of him in their minds - and of course, he has a very distinct way of speaking and thinking.  There's more room for interpretation after what we find out about him in the Deathly Hallows, but the starting point for writing about him had to be the thirst for knowledge and the escape into books which we already knew about.  The first line came to me really early on in the writing process for this, and I'm so glad you enjoyed the way I used that theme to shape Albus's life and tell his story, as well as some of the ambiguities in the Hero/Villain dichotomy.

 

Thank you for this review!

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 26 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 5: Besotted

Transferring from HPFF

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So. Some questions answered. Crucio flagrate. Being kidnapped and tortured for 6 days. So many emotions and, again, more questions. Why was she kidnapped and tortured? What was the point in letting her go? Like, so totally lost and feel so terrible for her and her PTSD type stuff going on. It's good that Scorpius helps (Well...good and bad. Dependence sucks a lot at times...) but still. The fact that they both have sad backstories and underwent huge changes...and the fact that no one knows about her scars. Like, what?

ALSO. Some big red flag? "All I remember is a shock of white flyaway hair walking out of the room." I have this huge feeling that this line is significant.I don't know why...just super, super suspicious...not sure I am quite to the point of having theories, but I'll have to keep this in mind...

Scorpius thinking Rose was his mother and him apologizing broke my heart, also. I just want to cry for him. Like, just...so cruel. Especially when he goes on to drunk talk about his father and how his mother was amazing...just, heartbreaking.

Also, Scorpius apologizing for the past an his admission? These two kill me. They need to just get together already. I have a feeling they had one of those friendships that was borderline more than a friendship and both denied it. Well, that and Rose playing her whole 'I wasn't who I was' and he couldn't get what he deserved. Like, just...they're both going to play that game. I can just feel it.

Anyways. Fantastic chapter! 
-Mikaela

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 26 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 4: Bereft

Hiya! Transferring! :D

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Hello!

So. The second half of Scorpius losing his parents. Like, more than enough emotion and I just feel terrible for Scorpius. I can't even imagine...but it does, from what I've seen so far, make sense with his character. Can't wait to see what further comes...

Though, again on my issue with his parents death... "My parents were killed from the results of a magic-induced explosion in the oven." Why does this entire situation sound so iffy? I don't understand how it is a simple explosion...like, just.no. Maybe I've become attached to Scorpius already and don't feel it rightful he lose his parents like this but just...a kitchen explosion? I don't like it, not one bit. (Also, results should be results in that sentence, just now noticing...)

As for what followed? I just want to cry for Scorpius. The fact that he was in such a dark place and that he didn't think his aunt noticed how he wasn't eating or doing much else...it's so heartbreaking! Made me super happy when Rose and Albus showed up and stayed with him and let him cry with them. It was such a necessary scene.

Also, had to laugh with Ron and Harry showing up and Rose being in bed with Scorpius. Just too perfect. Kinda had a feeling it was coming, but like, c'mon, the kid just lost both his parents and he needs to be in the company of those who keep him sane! 

Though, the fact that Rose disregaurded her father's explosion, stayed nonchalant about it and then continued to come find him to lay with him and keep him grounded when he needed her was sweet. Good build on thier relationship and made me smile quite a bit.

As for the alcohol here at the end? Well, not a good fix all, but all to ones own. Rough time thinking sometimes.

Another great chapter! Great work!
-Mikaela    

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 26 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 3: Blown Away

Hiya! Another transfer! Why I thought reviewing coherently late at night was a thing, I'm not sure (besides the fact that I now work night shift and do lots of things late at night...) xD

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Hey!

So. I started reading this during the House Cup review challenge and then I couldn't sleep last night (I'm nocturnal, apparently) so I kept reading and I've read through quite a few chapters, and have a few notes on said chapters I've read, so I figured I'd go through, leave some reviews, read some more, leave more reviews...do all kinds of crazy things because I may really want to read more of this story...

So. That's the plan. I'm starting where I left. I'll try not be rambling in all my reviews, but I'm kind of loving what I'm seeing, so no gaurantees.

ANYWAYS. Onto bussiness.

What. Even. Is. This. I started reading this chapter and was like, okay, so he's standing up to his parents, he and his father don't get along, he wants to go play.I'm not sure why this is a big deal. And then BAM. Both of his parents dead. And he walks into this horrific scene AFTER HE WAS SO MAD AS HIS PARENTS AND HIS MUM AND JUST. 

Seriously, some pretty awesome description here and just, Scorpius freezing and just taking it all in as he's going numb and not able to process...brilliantly written. This whole flashback makes so much sense for his character and it's just heartbreaking. It's not fair that Scorpius had to come home to that.

Initial shock out of the way, I now have TONS of questions. Why were his parents dead? It seems bizarre that both of them died in a cooking incident. Why was his father not in the study, as he normally was [this was mentioned? Or was this is the next half? Can't remember...]? This is just...totally bizarre. I don't understand.

Also, one nitpicky thing I noticed, which may just be the variation in writing styles, is the use of commas. There are some areas where I feel they are over used (the first paragraph had a few I thought may be unnecessary, along with a couple other areas) so it may be something to look at, or may be just fine.

Anyways, this chapter was quite interesting. Gave a lot to think about, ended in a place that pushed me onwards to the next chapter, and gave a good look at Scorpius and his life. Really heartbreaking, and really great!

-Mikaela    

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 26 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 2: Bent

Hiya! Just another transferred review! :)

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Oh. My. Gosh. Does it just keep getting better? It is honestly so hard to stop and write a review before going onto the next chapter...I don't know how you managed it, but I'm quite attached to Rose and would quite like to know more of her, and what happened with being kidnapped and how there's this thing that isn't a thing with Rose and Scorpius and how he helped her feel SOMETHING more than she had in years...just...Need. More.

Okay. More coherent. Again, your characterization with Rose was fantastic. I got an even better feel for her character, with her not wanting to be in crowds and only showing up to have face time to have people not be worried about it. Also, her instant freeze and freak out for this guy grabbing her (not that I blame her) was so in character and I actually kinda felt anxious with her and it was just...it was pretty intense for a little while there. Especially when he just apparated away with a full body bind going on. Like, what?

Also love how Scorpius steps up and gets her to calm down. He brings her somewhere quiet and really cares about getting her space to quit freaking out. Really adorable! Also love how Al shows up when she doesn't have a shirt on and then everyone else does and she still doesn't have anything on and it's just...oh my gosh, was laughing so hard I got a couple of weird looks from the people living in my house.... xD

Really, really excellent chapter! Cannot wait to read some more! Great job!

--Mikaela 
-Ravenclaw, House Cup 2015-    

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 26 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Broken

Beth! I have finally decided it's time to cross post all of my reviews from HPFF over here. Which means I get to relive my ridiculousness when it came to reading this story (And probably stop slacking on those new chapters I need to review...) Should be an entertaining endeavor, I think. ;) Here we go!

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Oh wow. That was pretty powerful and amazing and just....wow. 
I'm so drawn in by this image of Rose you have in my head. You may have described her in just the way I imagine her in my head, but I know things are very, very different with anything past the initial look at her. I can tell her character is deeper than that and that she has a lot more to her story than what you've presented. It actually is all but killing me not to move onto the next chapter and read more to figure out what exactly it is that's going on. I just....I need to know! It's obviously affected her a lot but it hasn't positively been explained and just...I need more information!

You did an excellent job of pulling emotions in here. You give a good taste of what PTSD like things are going on in Rose's head and explain that she is doing everything she can to keep this outward appearance of not having all this stuff going on. You keep that up with your description of Dom and Selenia, and how they really don't know about how much stuff is going on...

I also adore some of the backstory stuff you include. The sorting stuff specifically. That part was pretty entertaining because I could see the whole scene unfolding in my head and the shock for poor Albus...too great!

This actually also brings me to the point of sharing my favourite lines, which I tried to narrow down...

"I did miss it, in fact; I missed many moments while I was sucked up in my deep, dark hole...As it is when you are sucked up in a dark, deep hole; you don't even realize you are in it until you are not anymore." -such a true sentiment. LOVE IT!

"Although other people can see it, you usually can't even hear them, above the deafening, suffocating sound of the silence that surrounds you and screams in your face every moment that you even try to open your eyes."

"That is the only explanation," he explained at our first holidays home after going to Hogwarts; to which Aunt Ginny promptly smacked him over the head."

Overall, this was an excellent chapter! Can't wait to come back and read some more!

--Mikaela 
-Ravenclaw, House Cup 2015-

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 26 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 2: The Netted Sunbeam

**Transferred from HPFF**

Oh. My. Gosh.

I honest to goodness cannot even think of a way to start this review. Everything contained within this story is just so brilliant and beautiful and just...I'm in awe of how carefully constructed this time period is and how natural the characters seem in it and just everything.

Okay. Focusing. 

Isolda's character is honestly amazing. In the beginning, I absolutely adore how she works so hard to get around her mum's questions. She wants her independence and she doesn't want to be pushed one way or another by her mum. It's such a stereotypical feeling for teenagers or those who have just recently moved away from their parents, but it's in such a different light, given the time period she's growing up in. Especially in regards to having a boy come hang around her house during the late hours of the night/morning. Like, I don't know how you've managed to characterize her so well and keep her in the right frame of mind for her era, but I just...I love it!

Tristan is just as good. He's got this showboating personality, one that doesn't mind being the centre of attention-would rather be in the centre of attention-and when he isn't, he pushes for it. He's also rather sweet and knows just which lines to cross or boundaries to push. He's also just a little bit sassy and not afraid to state what he wants. He's obviously very easy to read as well, but I think it just brings the charm to his character. Also love how he's so polite. It's just flattering for him to be so proper when talking to Isolda's mother as it does reflect well on him.

I won't go super into the Tristan/Isolda pairing, because I have a feeling if I do I'll run out of characters to use for the rest of my review because I adore them so much. I love how their relationship works within the time period they're in and how it stays consistent to that while also pushing lines. The two of them are very sweet together and the fact that one thing led to another and they're just hanging out having tea one day and suddenly sitting on the carpeted floor the next...I just really do love them.

Isolda's mother is also a character I quite enjoy. I love how in control of herself and her emotions she is (except upon finding her daughter with a boy in her house, especially a boy who she claims to dislike), and I like how that comes across to Isolda. I love the dynamic and differences between the two of them. I also love her mother's astonishment about Isolda being the one resistant to open courting. It just makes me giggle a bit, how that part played out.

This whole story flowed together pretty well. There were a couple of places in which I got lost in the changing of time or location, like Isolda moving from being with her mother to being with Tristan in her house and back with her mother again. It could honestly be the hour in the morning I'm reading this (I am currently nocturnal. Which is cool. Not really.) but it could also be just because I'm so caught up in all the little complex details that are included. There is so much to pay attention to and I really, really love it.

This was really, really lovely and you can definitely expect a review on the other Tristan/Isolda story sometime in the near future...

-Mikaela

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 26 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: missing the hogwarts express

*Review transferred from HPFF*

Heya! Here from the BvB review battle!

I absolutely love what you have going here. I love the voices you give to Fred and Victoire and their dynamic as cousins. You write in a fashion that makes it obvious that they have been the best of friends for a long time and like to tease and/or drive each other crazy at times. It's easy to read their dynamic and question what sort of trouble will come next with them, especially after them missing the train.

I do enjoy how they dodged around their parents and decided Teddy was the one they would go to. Seems like the 3 of them are pretty close and I like the dynamic with the three of them as well.

I cannot wait to see the outcome of this missing the train business and what else they get into! I may also have to take a peek at some of the other stories with these three in them because I apparently haven't read much of your writing, and if it's anything like this, I definitely need to read more! :D

Great chapter!
-Mikaela

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 26 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

*Transferred from HPFF*

 

Heya! I'm including this as part of the BvB review fest, but am also coming by as I'm slowly working my way through the other entries from the 2nd person POV challenge, because I looked through a couple and they were pretty amazing and I want to see what other people did with the prompt!

I really, really like what you have constructed here. The relationship between Scorpius and Corbin is toxic. It's laced with fear and tiptoeing around people and trying anything to keep things calm. I could feel the fear and anxiety within the story, and it really made me feel for Scorpius as he feared Corbin's backlash if things didn't go just his way. The way you had Scorpius afraid of even leaving the house or visiting with family or even speaking about his friends...you really illustrated how bad of a situation Scorp was in and I applaud you for making it realistic (as terrible as it is).

I also like how you got him out of the situation. I'm happy you showed the moment in which Scorp had enough and finally fought to get out. I love how it was Albus and Rose and Harry who came out to help bring him home, even if Corbin did step in the way. I think it was a good realization moment for Scorp that people were worried about him and wanted him out of the dangerous situation. Especially when he's in St. Mungos and with his parents and friends. His realization that he should have gotten out earlier was well played out and I feel you did a really great job justifying his character and his reactions.

I do, looking back at it, feel a little bad for Corbin actually. I know abusive relationships are rough (not been in one myself, but I've seen some forms of them), but to have someone who goes to that sort of length and feels like love is a possession and they have to have possession of the person and control every aspect of their life in order to get all the love they can...it's sad. Because it's such a violent way to go about things and it just...how can you justify something like that to yourself? Everyone should have the right to be loved in a proper way and for Corbin...well, I just wish he could get that, you know?

There were a few things I noticed as I went through:

"You try to remember the when you saw anyone from your life in England and recall the weekend spent with your parents more than six months previous." -This sentence I think was trying to cover two thoughts or different ways to word something. If you get rid of the ‘the' after remember, it would solve the problem I think.

"Tears begin to all without preamble and you know this is not acceptable." -I think all was intended to be fall

"She manages to make sound it like a tiresome trip but you could tell she did enjoy herself." -I think this sentence may have gotten switched up a bit. Sound should come after the it for a better read, I think

Overall though, I feel you did really really well with this situation, and the fact that you showed how significant it is to get out, and to ask for help...it's the best thing you could have done! You really hit home a good point with these sorts of situations (and portrayed the emotions and struggles so well!) and I applaud you for that. I was really impressed with it and you did a good job!

I also quite adore how the following worked into the story, despite how (bad, wrong, terrible? I don't know the word I want!) it is:

"Tension - Argument - Assault - Assuage - Comfort"

Really great job!
-Mikaela    

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 26 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Cursebreaking in Barcelona

Hiya!

 

At some point in time, I think I’m just going to have to go through your author’s page and read everything you’ve posted. Like, every time I read a story that you’ve written, I’m always entertained and drawn in and want to keep reading and I just really, really love it. You’re really, really great!

 

This story. You already know I love Teddy. Quite a lot actually. He’s such a fun-loving guy and he’s got just the right degree of sarcasm and seriousness and he’s just really lovely. I do like that I’ve gotten the opportunity to see just a little bit of a different side to him, with him being at work and Cursebreaking. It stresses him out not to be one time (Goblin’s are terrifying, I don’t blame him) and he has to really trust his instincts and make lightning fast decisions. Like, I honestly wasn’t sure what I was expecting when he mentioned Cursebreaking in any of the other stories I’ve read with him, but it’s actually super intense. Like, auror level intense, except for explicitly different reasons. It was so enthralling to read him on this adventure and feel anxious for him and it really reminded me of Indiana Jones, just a bit.

 

As for Johanna...I love her. Her mocking Teddy and pushing his buttons...everyone needs someone like that in their life (Maybe I just say that because if it’s someone I know well enough, I’ve been known to do things like that…xD). She knows just how far to push things to get reactions out of Teddy, without pushing him too hard and the banter is entertaining. She’s also really good at her job and watching her interactions with Teddy, seeing the things she notices versus the things Teddy notices...like, it gave a good comparison as to what each of their job entails.

 

I also love the little bits of history included in this. I’m not a huge history buff, but it was cool how you worked that into this as well.

 

Overall, this was quite the entertaining read. Cursebreaking definitely sounds like an intense job!

 

Before I go, I have to share my favourite quote. I can’t help it ;)

 

"Riddles are meant to be solvable, and clues are supposed to mean something to someone. I don't see how this fits into either."

 

 

-Mikaela xx