Venice, 1350. An inventor receives a visit that changes the course of history.
For the October 2019 House Cup -- the Time Room.
I'm here to review your story for the MFWHATA EvS battle! (Team Emerald ftw)
This was great. I love time travel stories, and this one gives us an ending question to ponder - who gave himself the TimeTurner to give to his younger himself?
It's like a neverending story. *grins* Because himself never knew in the first place who had given him the TT. Unless it was the very first 'himself' who never passed that information down.
Very Crafty, Jane. Very Crafty!
Good job, and can't wait to read more of your writing!
A man performs a rite to bring his beloved wife back from the dead.
Written for TidalDragon's Knock-out Challenge 2019-20
Hey, Carl, here to review your story in preparation for the MFWHATA awards. I'm (as usually) batting for the Green Team EVS.
This was so good. Chilling. Dude had me fooled on wanting to call his wife back cause he loved her. I just thought the wife didn't want him to pay any price for calling him back.
Nope. Man did it (I'm guessing) multiple times as a revenge actic cause the wife kept killing herself to get away from him. Guess the guy just can't take the (ultimate) rejection she kept giving him.
Loved how you wrote out in detail how he had to work the spell. Double kudos on that.
'Til next time, <3 juls
Yeah, this guy's a dick and a creep of the 1st magnitude. His poor wife. I really feel like this came out almost perfect and I'm glad people are enjoying this very short little one-shot.
Thank you so much for the kind words.
When Perri Laughlin walked into Criminal Law 101, she figured she'd spend the next semester learning all there was to know about defending clients and proving their innocence from one of the state's top defense attorneys.
She never expected she'd be the one who needed defending.
For down-in-flames's Modern AU Challenge
Dear Ashley, I'm here for our review swap on Twitter.
This was a well written, short piece of fiction. I'll admit, I don't watch 'How to get away with Murder', but it was pretty understandable without having seen the show. Of course, I don't know the characters, but you've given me enough to understand each one.
It is always a good idea to get rid of the evidence, so retreiving the snowglobe was good. Even if the others freaked out about having it in their possession now. A good wipe down and it'll be 'good as new'.
As for going back for the body? Kinda crazy, I admit. Where are they going to put that? Kind of mind boggling at the possibilities. True? Hopefully the coin toss didn't lead them into further trouble... sounds like this Wells person might be another problem.
Great job on this!
Stunning banner by aurevoir @ HPFT
A one-shot collection.
It was like meeting someone out of your dreams, or fantasies, or a beloved character from a favorite book. -James Patterson
Hey, Kaitlin, here to review your story for our swap! (second try - SO accidently knocked the power out, and it erased my review. It was almost done, too!)
I'm not usually a fan of 'I' and 'You' stories. This one though was easy to read and understand, and the flow of words and story line was lovely. At first I eas confused as to gender of the characters, but I don't think it really mattered to the story anyhow. My take anyhow. (Best part - when 'You' did that courtly kiss to 'I's hand. I'm a sucker for that chivalric stuff.)
I'm not a diver (much of swimmer either) but your descriptives made it easy to understand and 'see' what was going on. That 'murky water' though - no way I'd have entered it myself - but I give your character kudos for doing it and getting out without any problems. It was a foolhardy act though...
So, I'm looking forward to more installments to this story when you get them posted.
Hey there! Thank you so much for the review! It truly made my day! I wish I could write you a longer response, but I've gotten so bogged down in review responses lately. I hope you know how much your words mean to me and how much I appreciate your support, encouragement, and critique. Thank you!
beautiful banner by just a willow tree @ hpft
She didn't even think the wonder of Paris could take away the dull ache in her heart. She had thought that she had long since passed the days where she would hide away from the world.
fourth installment of jasmine and tea leaves series
Dear Abbi, I've gone ahead and read the story to review. No pressure on swapping on mine.
This was... like... wow. Unexpectly fabulous, really. I'm still in the 'gobsmack' afterglow. I really loved this - and I'll have to read the other stories connected to it. Kudos.
I've never really liked'felt an affinity for either Seamus or Lavender. Neither character was too well fleshed out in the HP books. Seamus was the goof up in magic and Lavender was well - the school slut. Not too much of a seller for either character.
But wow, your writing has fleshed them out as three demensional characters, not the one demension that Rowling gave them. You gave them redeeming qualities, empathy for someone else aside of themselves. Showed their faults and how they were trying to heal and move forward.
That was beautiful. You made me like Lav-Lav - and I didn't expect that. The only time I ever felt bad for her was when she lay (possibly) dying after being attacked in the Battle of Hogwarts. I always felt she wasn't dead (we'd lost so many that day) and I'm glad to see that in your world she lived.
Thanks for this story - it's got a powerful message in it. A life lesson that everyone needs to learn. To love oneself is more important than having others love you.
I do hope that one day Parvati will one day make it back to Lavender. Full circle sort of?
banner by noelle zingarella
There is only one obstacle preventing Neville from keeping his promise to Mairi the ghost.
Unfortunately, that obstacle is his Grandmother.
Written for TreacleTart's Make TreacleTart Cry Challenge
Hey, Noelle, back for the EvS and team Emerald. Your chapter two is off to a good start!
I feel for Neville having to visit his parents. I feel for Augusta also, for she knew those two as vibrant, active people. Knowing that, I commend her for actually being able to go (in a timely fashion) to visit them. Speaks of her 'spine' and her love for them both.
Watching (err, reading) Neville interact with his mother was heartbreaking. He's never known his mother, and really doesn't now, y'know? It's just her shell with emptiness inside. In ways, Harry was actually the luckier of the two boys of the prophesy - for they both lost their parents, but at least he didn't have to watch them live in limbo for the rest of theirs (and his) lives.
(Shall we say I silent thank you to Molly Weasley right now for the righteous offing of one Bellatrix Lestrange?)
Neville is such a cute boy in this story. But he's also got a spine (did he get that from Augusta, I wonder?) in wanting to fulfil his pledge to Mairi and do his pilgrimage. Sure, he could have cheated, could have done it the easy way and did the apparations like Grandma wanted (don't blame her, at her age this type of walk had got to be a KILLER).
That he began his journey like an age old pilgramer is totally cool. The blessing, the staff, his token from his lady mother - I just love it. It makes the history buff in myself quiver with actual excitment and wonder. Longing too (I have a vampire who was born in this age type and would love to unbox).
This story is giving me all the feels, Noelle. Let's knight Neville when he finished, shall we?
Hi Juls! Thanks for coming back by my story :D
Both Neville and Augusta have a lot of grit. I'm glad it was visable here.
You make a good point about Harry being luckier in some ways than Neville. I think I agree with you.
Molly Weasley is the bomb.
I'm so glad you liked the blessing for the pilgrimage!! I want to knight him at the end too--we'll see what happens.
Thank you for this lovely review!
Hey, Noelle, I'm here for the EVS for April!
I love that you've chosen to use Mairi from Oregonian's story. It is one of my favorite, and it just adds another dimension to it. That your story stars Neville is just the icing on the cake for me.
I love your Neville. He's still that shy, unassumming boy, but he still has that spine of steel he showed when he tried to stop Harry, Hermione nd Ron from leaving the Common Room. He's now showing that spine when he's explaining to his Grandma that he has to do this because he promised.
I sense a reluctance to going to see his parents on his birthday. Poor boy, never knowing his parents (just like Harry) because of some stupid prophesy (again, like Harry). Even though Alice and Frank are alive, they are no more a presence in his life than the Potters for Harry.
All because his birthday fell at the end of July (like Harry) and made him a potential recipient of the same prophesy.
Getting his Gran to agree took a lot of finesse, but she did! I can't wait to see the two of them walking and camping on their way to fulfil his pledge. That she was so matter fact in accepting that he made a pledge to a ghost was pretty cool - even as she expressed a dislike of Peeves. Does anyone other than the Weasley Twins like Peeves?
All in all, this was a wonderful chapter setting up the story. I loved the interactions between Neville and his Gran.
Hi Juls! Thank you for coming by my story :D
Isn't Oregonian's story amazing! It blew me away when I read it, and I was so thrilled when she let me continue Mairi's story.
I'm delighted that you like my Neville! He's such a wonderful, sweet character.
You're right about his reluctance to go see his parents. He loves them, but it's hard to see them--and you're right, he doesn't really know them at all.
I'm not sure that anyone besides the Weasley Twins, and Mairi the ghost like Peeves.
Thank you for this lovely review!
That's your name right? Or is it Mel? Or... RGF? Sometimes names escape me (truthfully) and we all have to have ways of making us remember. (I usually do some sort of name game recognition. Sometimes it works. *grins*)
Anyhow, I'm here for your staff review for having Story of the Month for April. Congratulations. It's a great story.
I like how you've written Ben. He's nice, even as he's slipping into the dementia Annie has already seemingly slipped into. If that was what was meant, of course.
It sounds like they live together in a nursing home. That they aren't visited much by their family (until the last 'chapter', of course.) Being elderly and not having your family come see has got to suck, but Annie at least has Ben, and Ben has Annie.
In their own way, of course.
The ending is soooooo sad. I'm always a sucker for a good tearjerker, and this story is one. You've achieved your goal with me of making me cry, so thank you.
I'm here to review your story for Slytherin Story of the month for April. Congratz. You've managed to scare me to death here. Spooky ole you!
I know your love of horror has had to inspired this - and it doesn't fail you as I read through this. Scrolling, absorbing the chilling fear that drips throughout the chain of words.
I'm confused and fearful as the protagonist is. Such fantastic imagery you've given us - in as few words as possible.
You scare, me, girlfriend, with your fabulous (and scary!) writing skills.
Keep them coming!
Banner by Noelle Zingarella
When Eileen Prince met Tobias Snape, he felt like the answer to a prayer.
Sometimes feelings lie.
Written for TidalDragon's TKO Challenge 2019-2020, Round 1: Dysfunctional Relationships; Round 1 Bracket Winner
Site-wide Story of the Month, February 2020
FROGS 2020 finalist--best angst
Hey, Noelle - I'm here to review your story!
Wow. Just wow - what else can I say. I'm gobsmacked and flummoxed by the awesomeness of this story. It is well worthy of being named February Story of the Month (2020).
But, seriously, woman - this was fabulous. Chilling even, with the way that Tobias just smooths his way into Eileen's life. You've written a well rounded character in him that I was like creeped out. (We all know what he does to Severus Snape, so we know he's a creep.) But, you had me hoping that the dude wasn't going to turn out that way. That he hadn't treated our dear Severus that way - and that poor Eileen had found a true knight in Shining Armor in him. With him. In spite of her family's misgivings.
I'll be honest - your Tobias reminded me a lot of my ex-husband. You could have modeled the dude after him, and I'd be asking if you knew him. Text book abuser - and I saw a lot of myself in Eileen. That was the scariest part of it all. I was screaming at her to run, no girl, RUN! Get the 'f' out of there, and then sighed sadly when she didn't.
It was amazingly heart wrenching, but also the reminder that I got of it. I just wish that Eileen's outlook in life could have been better. For her sake, and our beloved Severus' sake.
Thanks for writing this story, Noelle. Maybe in reading it, someone will feel the need to 'run' by seeing the truth of things. That would be awesome.
Hi Juls! Thanks for coming by this story :D
I'm so sorry to hear that your ex-husband was in any way like Tobias; and I'm really glad that you were able to get out. I dated a guy once who was my model for Tobias, and being in this kind of relationship is horrible on so many levels. I also wanted Eileen to run, even though I knew she wasn't going to get away. I do plan to continue her story in libera nos a malo; and later in The Quick and the Dead--and hopefully she'll get another chance at life.
It means a lot to me that you took the time to read and review this--it was hard to write, and I'm sure it's hard to read. I do hope that it will do some good; maybe make people feel less alone; and maybe help folks recognize the signs a little better.
Thank you so much for this thoughtful revew!
Gorgeous banner by down-in-flames @HPFT!
A tale told through Hermione and Viktor's letters after the events of the Triwizard Tournament and beyond.
*Written for justawillowtree's Epistolary Challenge*
Another great chapter, Madi (I do hope you continue on with this story!)
I love how we're getting to see the canon story through Hermione's eyes. Even as her (ever so slightly *cough wheeze cough*) smartest witch of her age attitude pops out. If only Harry and Ron let her lead once in a while - things would have gone so much smoother, am I right?
Again, I love the way you write the friendship between Hermione and Viktor. They seem genuinely concerned for each other. This sounds like a good relationship that will pass the test of time. (Even if Ron gets jealous over it.)
I love the little, canon tidbits you intersperse in the letters to give us some continuity to the main story. I especially appreciate the ones Viktor gives - because, basically, it seemed like Rowling forgot about how the War was effecting other schools (Beauxbatons and Durmstrang.)
Thanks, again, Madi for writing this.... <3 juls
Dear Madi, I'm here to review you! (Captain Obvious of me, I know!)
I remember when this challenge came up, and thought it was a pretty cool one. I regret not doing it now, after reading your entry.
I love how you picked Viktor and Hermione for this. It amazes me that after introducing Viktor into the story, Rowling never bothered to bring him out much again. He was a light in the Darkness of Durmstrang, and could have been as much a savior as Harry, Ron, Neville, Hermione, Ginny and Luna was. His actual study into the Dark Arts could have helped in the battles to come.
I've always liked Viktor and Hermione's relationship. He was more on her intellectual level. Too bad that Rowling didn't at least explore a healthy relationship between the two of mutual respect and friendship, if nothing else.
Hermione confiding in him seems very canon to me. He was the only one to show her any admiration of her skills in a healthy way. Ron and Harry, while grateful, seemed disparaging at times of her skills.
Great chapter, Madi! <3 juls
banner by starbuck@TDA
Decades past the war, a mysterious illness poses a new and terrifying threat to the Wizarding world. With the world on the brink of a devastating pandemic, with sickness and death claiming victims at every turn, will they find a cure in time?
Hey, sorry I'm late getting my review on for this story and your chapter!
I found this chapter amazing. I love how you wrote your Harry and Ginny. They do have a great relationship with each other. I love the fact that she went out to find him and give him the news. And - it was a bittersweet bit of good news.
It took me until just now to realize we'd killed Ron off. Poor Ronald Billius Weasley. The one most likely to get killed off by fanfiction writers. Your words made me ache for poor Harry in his grief. He's lost so much in life, and I'm so glad you had Ginny there to drag him out of that slump.
Poor dragon, too! Slamming the poor beastie into a mountain. But, I'm glad you've given Harry a way to blow off the steam inside him. Your Ginny is the perfect partner for him in so many ways. That Harry recognizes just how wonderful she is is heartening also. He's certainly put her through a lot in their years together.
Thank you for adding your expertise to this story! It's a fabulous and fitting read to it.
Hey, Rhi! I've come around to review your chapter of our amazing collab.
This chapter is great. Fabulous. Wonderful. It truly fit itself in to the story line we created with out a hiccup. (Possibly a cough, wheeze and shudder from the poor patients facing death in Hogwarts.)
Death can be such a scary thing, and that you've portrayed it by a nurse caring for one (out of the many she is caring for) is amazing. You had me rooting for young Joshua. It almost broke my heart when Lainie finally arrived with the cure and she thought he was dead.
That was a heartbreaking and sad moment. So glad that she was in time to administer the potion. I was truly amazed by that little twist. It could have easily gone the other way!
I love how you fleshed out your two main original characters in this chapter. With a word count limit, you gave us just enough to sympathize and worry over. That poor Joshua is now an orphan saddened me. I wish there was a way to find out what happened to him later in life.
Thanks, Rhi for writing this. May we collab once more, for it was a joy to work with you (and the others.)
I'm here to (finally!) review your fabby chapter in our collab! (I really thought I'd gotten to them all.
This is a fabulous chapter. I truly mean that. I love how you written your Draco and Harry. Both are very canon but have matured up from when they were kids in Hogwarts. Both have very fulfilling jobs and families now.
That they both haven't gotten the dread is beyond me. They both have great constitutions. Though in the past chapters I know that Ron lies at death's door because of it. That the two of them (Draco and Harry) can set aside their petty, high schoolish rivalry to work on this is, well, fantastic.
I also like how you added the realistic use of potions here. It was for a good cause, but there is always that chance for abuse. That Harry opens up to Draco and admits that he was possibly addicted to the wide eye potion because of work makes him that much more human in my eyes.
And, YEAH, the cure. Thank Merlin on that.
Great job, dear. <3 juls
Hey, Joey! I'm come to (finally) review your fabulous chapter in our collab! (Apologies for taking so long!)
This was fabulous, Joey. Neville has always been a character dear to my heart. Your Neville shows just how grown up he has become from the time of the Battle that he traveled back to from his present self. Meeting up with back then Luna had to have been jarring, but she seemed to be the perfect one for him to encounter out of all of those he knew. Her ethereal self wouldn't question his return, wouldn't be bothered by giving help and - she won't mention he had been there.
Being back to that day had to have been jarring to Neville. The events had been horrible, and he knew many that had died to keep the Wizarding and Muggle worlds safe. Knowing that he wasn't allowed to change anything in the past had to have been heart-breaking to the tenderhearted boy.
One can only hope that the book he found actually has the cure! That you tied in to where Goyle set the Room of Requirement on fire was a fantastic bit on planning there. It made the danger seem more real on his going back in time.
I love how well you wrote your chapter of the story to work with the other chapters to be cohesive. Thanks, Joey, for being a part of it.
(banner by me)
For waitress and witch Anne Clarke, life consists of little more than serving tea on a corner of Diagon Alley. But, when the war can no longer be ignored and the teahouse closes down, Anne is compelled to revive her dream of becomming a nurse – a path that leads her to the meandering corridors of Hogwarts, a genteel lycanthrope, and, most regrettably, a long-fingered sock thief.
I'm back, Beth, with another review for the event.
I love how you've written your Dumbledore. He's very canon, and I can almost hear/see/swoon over the twinkle in his eyes. Yes, I love Dumbledore, even with all his faults (aka his treatment of Harry Potter as a sacrifice for the greater good of Wizarding Humanity. Or did he really? That's an answer we can only ponder as we read your story.)
As for Phineas - I think you are pretty spot on for that cantankerous, old Pureblood. Even as a portrait, he just oozes superiority, doesn't he? Good job, and thanks to Jane (Bunbury) in her guidance. She steered you correctly.
I like how you wrote Dumbledore's job interview with Anne. I suspect he was already going to hire her on Mrs Mugs recommendation, but he did (at least) make sure she was competent for the job. (And also too a few jabs at our favorite - and misunderstood - potions master, Severus Snape.
And for Anne's mother - doesn't she know it's not smart to match make with online guys? (Though I can't speak, I married/divorced a loser one, and am in a commited relationship of sixteen years with another.)
Good job - awaiting an update, Girl Friend.
So, Beth, I'm here for the review event on the forums!
I commend you on going 2.0 on your Anne Clarke story. It was addictive the first go around, but the second is even better. It's amazing. I like that you've filled out the story more, and have added some mystery from the get go with who I am going to presume is our beloved Remus Lupin. Back to him in a moment.
The Ministry people were a hoot, I have to say. I enjoyed how you wrote their interaction. It was very comical and interesting. I'm hoping to see more of the two somewhere down the road in the story - plot line considerations, of course.
Now - Oh my god, Remus! (If that is him!) Such a gentle, shy and caring man. So he's looking for Rolf and Mrs Mugs? I'm wondering if they're family of some sort. That would be the coolest thing, right? But, you know, cause you're the author - and that is where I see the mystery in the story.
And then - poor Anne is losing her job, but Mrs Mug's is caring enough to offer her a way to find another job. Is Anne up for it though? Is she nursing material?
Only way to find out is to go to the next chapter. Great job, Beth!
Seven naive, would-be secret operatives become trapped inside the Department of Mysteries and must use all their skill and wits to escape before they are discovered.
Written for the October 2019 House Cup competition, A Night in the Department of Mysteries, for Slytherin House.
Hey, Vicky - I'm here to review your story for being Snake of the Month. (I'm really glad to do this honor, in fact I'm honored. This is is my first official act as Snek Prefect.) So - on with the review!
First off, I love this story and the fact that it was written to honor us all in the last House competition. It's really odd and an awe inspiring to see are names listed throughout the story. You had us all participating through out, which was like - for me - woah, there's me doing such and such.
It was just the funniest read, and it truly did play out the competition as it went in Real life.
You truly brought it all too life, and created a story that is fun to read as well as being part of a competition. Kudos to you for that, because I don't think I could have written such a fabulous story myself. (Being truthful here, dear. This was truly imaginative.)
Story made me want to talk the poor lion home and give him a good dinner for helping to save us. But we all know I'm partial to cats - even big ones.
I'm so glad to have been a part of your story and honored to have with you and the others in the competition and (honestly) can't wait for our team up in the next one.
Hi, juls. I'm so glad that you loved the story, and it's neat that you are now our Slytherin Prefect, so that you, as one of the Greenfriar Players, can write the review.
Even from the first moment, I intended to write our names into the story because we worked together so well as a team -- it just had to be us. But I see in the proposed new rules for the archives, it will not be permitted to use the names of actual HPFT members in the stories :( so we got in just under the wire. I wanted our seven-person team to be co-ed, and Carl Pookha was obviously a guy, so I morphed your name into Jules, which is ambiguous, and you will notice that I never referred to that character with a specific personal pronoun, so readers can interpret it as they wish.
It was a fun story to write and it went very fast, almost 5000 words in 24 hours, which for me is fast, because one doesn't agonize over the lines of humor and absurdity or worry about whether they are making sense. This was the funnest House Cup competition for me so far, even though we didn't win the event. I too am looking for the next chance for us to team up!
Hey, Kris! Back for the EvS review challenge for team Emerald!
Well - it seems I was wrong about my take on the ending of the last chapter! (Had a wee chuckle over that. My cats were a huge distraction at that moment!) I still like the frog, the Basilisk is still kind of creepy - and was the new creature a centaur?
I just love the fact that there was a dragon some in that pile of mess that Persephone found. (Persephone is the middle name of my second oldest granddaughter - so, I thought the snek's name was cool!)
So - I'm going to take it that poor Herpo is no more? Or did the fire just burn his beard and scar him?
Maybe a new ser of stories starring the Toad and the Basilisk Together? Kind of a macabre take on the childrens' story - Frog and Toad Together?
Thanks for writing this - I enjoyed it very much.
Hello, Kris! I've popped in for the EvS November battle in the Common Room. As per my norm, I'm swinging towards the Emerald side.
I've planned on reading this story since you posted it - but life happens. I'm here though, and so happy to give you my review.
Your story here is 'cute'. Maybe it's because of the frog and how he initially acts in the beginning of the story. You've given him life (quite literally in a figuratively way), personality (showing him inquisitely and judgementally watching our poor 'hero' mixing up his potion) and then that last special glint of evilness in his eyes.
Ok, maybe not so cute after all.
One of my burning questions though, because obviously it wasn't 'egg' after 'chicken', what was word after all. It obviously had great bearing on the outcome of the potion - and created Sophocles into a totally different species and a creature that could talk.
Malidictus? The beginnings of some wizards being able to do parseltongue?
I'm off to the next chapter!
Hey, Kris - jumping back in for another EvS review for team Emerald!
I'm currently reading through TAoBN, but I decided to check this one out. I love how you're building up your own world within the Potterverse. Ethan and Selene are amazing, and this is a wonerful addition to their story line.
You've given us a lot of information on Selene in such few words. I love it. I take it that Ethan learned quite a bit also - is he an Leglimens? That would be a good skill for being a Hit Wizard or Auror, surely. Not so great in a relationship, when their partner didn't give them the okay for it.
Thanks for the little peek into their relationship.
Hey, Kris! Here for EvS battle in the Slytherin Common Room. (Batting for Team Emerald!)
This was a beautifully, tragically, wonderfully written one shot. I absolutely love your Astoria, with all of her convictions mixed in with her faults.
Not being able to bring forth her Patronus is tragic. Her pain over her friends' deaths are taking over her life and not allowing her to heal. Everyone in her life (Her dad, sister, trainer) want to help her, reach out to her, but she just keeps holding on to the pain and guilt that surrounds her - engulfing her with the latent powers of the Dementors.
You truly showed her torment over all of this in a stunning, believable way. Kudos to you.
Then... then... that last vignette just tore my heart out. Allowing Draco to help her had to be hard on her, but she did. She got to see (through Draco's Aunty and wee Teddy) that she wasn't the only one to suffer from the devastation of the war. Seeing the other side helped her.
Oh, and the crying jag did also. It's still going to take more time, but she's on her way with the ability to cast her Patronus once more.
Stunning banner by abhorsen
Destiny is the result of people's choices. And any single choice can change it completely.
In this AU the Marauders are still alive and free (more or less...), Neville Longbottom is the guy with the scar, and Harry... Well, just read and find out!
Golden Chalices 2018 winner: best dialogue
FROGS 2019 second place: best family
Golden Chalices 2019 winner: best completed multi-chapter
Hey Chiara here (very, very late) for our review swap! (Thanks so much for yours!)
Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy... He needs to get his head on straight, y'know? Not even that bludger knocked any sense into him, either. Quidditch can be a dangerous sport even when you're at your best, and he's not (obviously) at his best at the moment.
I love McGonagall and how you've written her! Hopefully she sets out in Animagus form and finds out what's going on. (We never saw enough of her using it in the books, so...) I love her sterness and her fairness, and the fact she passes out biscuits as therapy. <3
As to the end of the chapter! I feel so bad for Jimmy, and I just wish he'd buck up and ask Peter. I know it can be tough to do that (and would show a lot of maturity - which, since he is eleven, he doesn't have just yet) but it would make his life so LESS complicated. (But - then where would the story be, right?)
I like your introduction of Samantha into the dynamics of the already forming friendships. She seems to be building into a balancing character for your story. Kudos.
Now off to Dumblee-dore's office.....
Juls!!! Hello, my dear! <3
Ah, Jimmy... the poor kid is going through a lot... and yes, he needs to get it back together, but also... it's understandable that he's a bit distracted at the moment...? Also, yeah, Quidditch is crazy... :/
I love McGonagall too! I'm glad you like the way I wrote her! <3 Ah, yes, that would be awesome! You're right, we didn't see her using her Animagus ability enough... that's actually a great headcanon, that she would use it to keep an eye on students when she was worried about them! <3 And yay for her biscuits!!!
Ahahah! He should just talk to Peter, yes... although I'm not sure how well that conversation would go for either of them... and yes, it would show a maturity that Jimmy doesn't quite have yet... :P
Thank you for the review!!! <3
For Wolfgirl's "Dark Turn" Challenge.
Prompt: Minerva McGonagall bakes biscuits for her new colleague, Remus Lupin.
Oh, dear Chiara! I love this story. It's got all the angst wrapped up nicely in your words.
I love how you've used Minerva McGonagall as your protaganist in your story. She's such a powerful example of a women you can find in literature today. She suffers no one and gets straight to work on what needs to be done. This time, it's making biscuits aka cookies for our beloved werewolf.
Minerva has such a caring soul, even as (in this story at least) she was bullied by the other students at Hogwarts. I'm so glad she'd found a mentor in Edda, the whizened old house elf in the kitchens. That she found the perfect outlet for her sorrows in making a sweet treat. It seems even house elves can be mentors also. (Look at how Dobby affected Harry's life in the short span he was in it!)
There were so many surprises in your vignettes through out the story. That Remus admitting he wanted to be a teacher (professor) was haunting. Poor kid knew he stood little chance to be anything in this magical world because of the prejudges of the world they lived in. Soo sad!
Then you revealed that Minerva had another favorite. Sirius Black. But why wouldn't she? He was the perfect rebel in her House. He was breaking the mould of the House Black like his cousin Andromeda did when she met, fell in love and married Ted Tonks, a muggleborn.
It had to have hurt extremely when the news broke out (wrongly) that he'd murdered (For the Dark Lord) James, Lily and Peter. How could she have been so wrong? (Newsflash, she wasn't, but it would take another decade plus for that to be revealed).
Throughout this story, you've shown her a fighter, willing to stand for her convictions. Even with the loss of her dear Dorcas she continued on (as we know) even with that pain that has bowed many to the knee. She grieved, yes, but she continued on in her most Professor Minerva McGonagall way.
The ending though, was what made me squee with happiness. Even if Minerva didn't realize who her savior was, I have an inckling - Severus Snape. (Poke me if I'm wrong!) So glad she was saved either way, because she's needed to fight further in the battles that are coming.
It was just perfect that Snape would continue keeping his secret status even as he helped where he could.
Again, I loved this story! <3juls
Hey, Juls! :D
Ah, I so love Minerva! I will admit, I would've never thought I'd write a story focusing on her if it wasn't for this challenge, but I really loved the experience! She's awesome!
House elves can definitely be mentors and have a lot to teach. I'm glad you liked the friendship with Edda, I found the idea so endearing when I first had it... <3
Remus was a brilliant teacher and for some reason I think that it would be what he would've dreamt of doing if he actually had any chance... it is so sad that the world would reject him that way... :(
It is also so terribly sad that everyone believed Sirius to be the spy... and that he never really got the chance to clear his name... :( at least Minerva knew the truth in the end... :(
Minerva is incredibly strong, yes. And after all, even when grief hits us, we have to go on, don't we? I'm glad you liked that in her!
Yes, that was Snape who saved her! Whatever Severus is, I do believe that he had great esteem of McGonagall, and I do believe that he was truly focused on fighting for the bright side, even if he didn't show it!
Thank you so much for the lovely review, my dear! <3