My name is Emily, and I'm so excited you've found this page. Please feel free to visit the forums and send me a PM, post on my profile, or post on my Writer's Journal page if you'd like to chat. I love getting to know other members and growing our community.
I'm a twenty-something, U.S.-based book person! I've been writing Harry Potter fanfiction since 2006, originally at HPFF and now at HPFT. I'm slowly transferring my better stories to this site, and I hope you'll be patient with me as I do so. Feel free to ask for updates if you're wondering if something will be edited and posted here! And if you've read any of my work and/or want to ask questions or leave me comments, please visit my Writer's Journal topic!
On HPFF, my penname was DracoFerret11, and my username on the forums was DarkRose. Maybe we knew each other?
Here, my username on both the forums and the archives is Renacerá, which is Spanish for "she will be reborn."
I’ve made my Magical Menagerie goal to read and review every Dramione story on the site! So...here I am!
This was a really sad story! It reminded me a lot of one I’d written years and years ago about Hermione passing away from cancer. It’s an interesting thing to consider: that the magical community can cure colds and broken bones and things in a second, but they still can’t do anything to prevent Muggle catastrophes. Draco being killed by being hit by a car felt like that to me.
I really felt Hermione’s pain in this story. To lose someone you love is never easy, but it’s especially painful when that person was taken in such a senseless way. I actually lost a really close friend when he was hit by a car while riding his bike, so this story resonated with me especially poignantly.
I do love that Hermione will go live with Scorpius and her grandchildren. I hope that that helps her heal. It seemed so natural that she was his mother, even though in canon that’s Astoria. I like that this story was able to achieve that naturalness.
Finally, special shout-out to your portrayal of the specifics of grief: the way that certain things remind you of the one you’ve lost, the depth of that emptiness in your heart, the desire to start new somewhere else, etc. It was all very realistic to me.
banner by angelica. @TDA
Seeing you like this is unbearable. Maybe…I could invite you in. Just for a cup of tea.
No. It isn’t meant to be. Still, I almost give in when you continue speaking.
inspired by the song Snuff [by Slipknot]
I've made it my goal to read and review every Dramione story on HPFT! So here I am. :)
First of all, I'm so impressed that I found a story that was posted on the very first day of this archive's existence! That's so wonderful, and I'm so glad Dramione was represented that day!
I absolutely love the characterization you've written here. You've done such a good job capturing the depth of Draco's grief and conflicting emotions. He honestly feels so real in this story, despite not fitting exactly with his canon characterization (which we only see through Harry's point of view, obviously). One of my favorite parts about Draco/Hermione as a ship is that you have the opportunity to explore Draco's characterization in more depth, and I think you've definitely done that here. There would be so much trauma after the war, and it's always good to see that acknowledged in fanfiction.
I felt terrible for Draco throughout this. I honestly was disappointed in Hermione for not being with him when she had the chance...but I also understand the fear that she was probably feeling. It takes a lot to willingly go against your friends and to be vulnerable and try a new relationship. But still, Draco was in a bad place and their tryst didn't help...
The plot of this was so good, and as I briefly mentioned above, your ability to communicate the emotions throughout was wonderful. I'm really impressed and really enjoyed this.
I'm here for the 2018 Niffler Gifting event, and I'm so happy to leave this story a review! So away we go! —
I love how you took the funny "Drapple" theme that had floated around eons ago and turned it into such a poignant story! I'm a huge fan of Draco (that's what drew me to this story!), so it's always nice to see explorations of him as a character of depth instead of just a 1D villain. He really did go through so much at such a young age (as many of our canon characters did), and I love stories about that.
Your characterization of Draco was really lovely. I think you did a great job balancing his youthful hopefulness with his disillusionment. And knowing the scene that directly follows this story—when Draco doesn't give Harry & co. up to his family—is awesome! What a great "missing moment."
Overall, you did a really good job with this little story. I loved the descriptions and depth you gave something that could've easily been comedic in another author's hands.
Thank you so much for this review. It was a lovely surprise to see a review from one of my older stories. It always brings me joy when someone picks up something that is on the second page of my AP as that always tends to get forgotten.
I am glad you liked the characterization that I did with Draco, he is an interesting character and there are a lot of layers to him and I love exploring the layers of characters. I admit that when I went into the challenge I didn't expect things to go as poiniant as they did but the tale just came out as it did and I figured it was worthwhile to take a different turn on a silly theme. I also had fun lining it up with canon, I think it gives added weight to the scene in the books and helps make Draco a sympathetic character which I feel that he is. Most people just see him as a slimy villain but he's just a teenager who had a lot of pressure placed on him and he's trying to make the best of what happened to him and the poor decisions he makes.
Thank you again for the lovely Niffler Gift!
banner gifted to me by abhorsen. @tda <3
all I wanted to do was fall like a dying star. but those eyes stopped me.
Hi again Hayden!
How have I never reviewed for you before this event???
Seriously, this was amazing! I absolutely love your writing. You're so talented! And I can't thank you enough for writing about my favorite pairing.
So, I really want to start off the full review with a bunch of compliments about the quality of the writing in this story. Honestly, you captured the mood of this story perfectly with just the writing style. I've had depression my whole life, and I could see my own experience in Hermione's here. It's so much harder to deal with mental illness on your own, and having her friends all leave at once is understandably devastating.
I was so surprised when Draco saved Hermione from her suicide attempt and even comforted her. Since this is post-war, there's so much trauma that they've both been through and I really can't wait to read how that affects their interactions and how they relate to each other. Wonderful job on the characterization of both of them.
I wonder what Draco said to her! And did he cast a spell to knock her out so she wouldn't try to jump off the tower again? I can't wait to read on.
Finally, I just want to explicitly say that the emotions and mood of this chapter were flawless. I mentioned that above, but I really need to make that perfectly clear. You're a great writer and I can't wait to read on.
Wow, Hayden. Wow. Do you have plans to continue this story? Because I desperately want to read on.
I haven't seen this writing style often (the short sentences broken up onto separate lines), but I really, really like it. You utilize it so well in order to convey the moods and emotions going on in the different characters' experiences.
I absolutely love how you wrote Draco and Hermione in this chapter. Draco's compassion for Hermione is so beautiful and such a strong testament to the changes he went through after the war. I really think you've taken the opportunity to write Post-War Draco and run with it. Great job. And Hermione was so wonderful. Her not wanting to see Harry seemed like a very authentic reaction to what she's experiencing.
So, mood/tone and characterization, amazing. And somehow you are also able to give perfect sensory details to capture the scene in the hospital wing—the feel of the pillow under Hermione's head, the sound of the footsteps in the ward, etc. How, how, how do you do it?
Finally, I wish I knew what Draco had been about to say at the end! "If only"...what? I'm so intrigued. :)
I hope you continue this story! If you do, you've got a reader in me!
Great job, dear.
Choices don't come easy. But they need to be made.
It’s me again, here to review for the Magical Menagerie event!
First of all, let me say that I totally admire the fact that you’ve written a second-person point of view story! I’ve tried before, but I’ve never felt confident in it. Addressing the reader/a “you” in particular feels really tough to me for some reason.
I also liked the fact that this was from Draco’s perspective! I practically always (maybe literally always) write from Hermione’s side of the story, so it’s refreshing and interesting to see Draco’s side.
I liked that he was so introspective about his past with being prejudiced and how he’d matured away from that. It did seem a little too self-aware for a teenager, but that’s not awful. The only part that I thought didn’t quite fit with the story, though, was when Draco “forgot” about Voldemort for a second. That doesn’t seem like it would be likely to happen, given Voldemort’s impact on him and his family.
I also like that Draco chose Hermione! I’ve written a lot of stories where he chooses her over his “pre-determined” fate with the Death Eaters. And as a Dramione fan, I’m sure you also love that trope. I know I do! I wish he’d had a choice like that in canon. I like to believe that maybe after the war, it was easier for him to be a better person.
Anyhow, good job with this story! Well done!
Companion Piece to When I Go Out With You || Banner by me
- A Susan Bones Story -
Oh my gosh, yay! Representation! I have a couple of poly friends who would be SO happy to see a story about their identity anywhere. This is so cool. And so well written!
I love that you captured an aspect of the poly experience that isn’t always examined: it can be hard and isolating to feel penned in by society’s expectations of monogamy. Especially when somebody (in this case, Susan) loves a non-poly person. It sounds so heartbreaking and hard to deal with. And you really captured that well.
I love that this conversation happened with Luna. I have so much appreciation for that lovely girl. She’s so accepting and honest and genuine. I feel like she’s exactly who Susan needed to talk to at this moment. And I hope in my imagined future for them, they can be friends and bond even more about this even if they don’t end up dating.
I think integral to this story is the sheer humanity in it. The emotions Susan was feeling and Luna’s patience and empathy really resonated with me. And it’s just lovely how you portrayed their conversation. Not on-the-nose, but real and straightforward and just...ahhh, so well done!
Great story, dear! I commend you!
Written for Frankie05 for Slytherinchica08's Gift It Challenge|Amazing banner by darth vader@tda
"I had to do it. At least once."
Hello there! I've made it my goal during the Magical Menagerie event to read and review every Dramione story on the HPFT archives! So here I am! :)
Ahhh, you did such a great job with this story! I have to start by complimenting the plot. Although it seems like a simple premise—boy like forbidden girl, they share a "moment"—you take that and run with it. I love that you were able to keep most of Draco's and Hermione's canon traits in this story and use them to the plot's advantage. Hermione doesn't suffer fools, so it's no surprise she'd lose her patience with Draco and tell him he had ten minutes to bother her if that meant he'd go away afterwards. And I loved the slap. Of course, I ADORED the kiss! But the slap is great too. :D
Really good job with the characterization, as I said before. You were able to keep them recognizable but still work that through the story. And in some ways, this could even fit into Half Blood Prince seamlessly, since at the end Draco reminds himself that he has to go back to his real life and his mission. He can't live in a fantasy when things are so serious in reality.
I just love this version of Draco. I always think that if Draco were to be "reformed" after the war, it would be because of the influence of people like Hermione. Ahh, if only it were canon. ;)
Thank you for a great read!
Banner by idioteque @ TDA
For moonbaby11's Up For Grabs Challenge and the Every Word Counts Challenge
It’s like making love to a ghost.
The other person disappears in the act of becoming part of you,
and you are left with yourself, pure and raw and complete.
But there is someone else inside you, incorporeal but undeniable.
Review time for this year's Snowball Fight/review battle!
So, I don't know if I've ever read a James/Sirius story before, but I honestly don't know why I wouldn't have! This was really lovely! I'm honestly floored by your command of language and poetry. This read like a song or a poem or a prayer. It captured me with the feelings just below the surface. I don't know how to describe it, but I really felt like I was flying with Sirius with this sort of...desperation or rush driving me. I read this quickly, and then slowly. It was like the first time I had to get through it, had to know what I already knew he'd find...but then I had to go back and really drink in the feelings and emotions. You did an amazing job with them.
I love your characterization of Sirius and James, as subtle as it was. I feel like you really captured the dichotomy of James' dual life. I also adored the last few lines ("The home you made with her is ashes. The corners we hid in are gone. The shadows within me remain. Will the ghost of you still find your way there?"). The part about ashes for some reason really struck me. There's so much that our Marauders lost that night that is easy not to think about, but this story brought it front and center.
All-in-all, this was fantastic. I honestly don't have constructive criticism (I wish I did so this would be more helpful!). Wonderful job!
Banner by Victus. @ TDA
I am always holding your hand.
Hi Sam, dear!
I'm here to leave a last-minute Wish List review (but also just a review for you, because you're wonderful)! This story seemed like it hadn't received enough love, so I was happy to come by! I need more sapphic stories to appreciate in life, so I really should just delve into your whole AP. ;)
So, although I'm not a huge fan of Lavender (probably because she got such a bad rap in canon), I found this story really stunning. I love the depth of friendship you showed between her and Parvati throughout their school years, even with just one sentence or so for each year. And the growing love was so evident...so the loss at the battle felt even heavier.
The emotions you wove throughout this story were fantastic. I felt all of Parvati's love and loss and feelings of what might have been. It made me really hope that Lavender could recover at some point and be with her through their joint healing process.
This was really well written! Great job. :)
A gift for Treacle Tart for Slytherinchica08's Gift It Challenge | Banner by Hobbit' @ TDA
It is Dean and Seamus' anniversary and things do not go as planned. That's kind of their thing.
I wanted to come by and leave you a couple of reviews to congratulate you for winning 'Puff of the Month (and also Head Student)! So, here's the first! :)
Honestly, I clicked on this the second I saw the banner. I've become such a Dean/Seamus fan in recent months (even though I actually pair Dean with Lee Jordan), and I basically love reading any story about them.
And this story was no exception! It was so cute and genuine. I loved every minute of it. Dean and Seamus have such a healthy, balanced relationship, and there's obviously so much love between them in this story. Dean comforting Seamus and knowing how to encourage him despite his mistakes with the tart was so precious. And Seamus being so hopeless at certain types of magic is so believeable! ;)
I especially liked that you had the brief reference to the war at the beginning of this. When Dean comes home and sees smoke, he is immediately thrown back to the days of the war, and that really rang true to me. I like that it took him a few minutes to calm himself down and believe that everything was okay. I could've even believed he'd need longer, if ever you decide to edit this—though, don't misunderstand me, it's basically perfect as is.
Overall, I think your characterization was wonderful; the plot was adorable; and the story as a whole was really sweet.
I always love the chance to read older stories and revive them in the author's memory, so I hope this review has done that for you.
For Frankie05 and AngelEyez3954's Wish It Was Canon Rare Pair Challenge | Banner by jupiter@TDA
This morning, Septima is everywhere.
Rolanda Hooch/Septima Vector
I did not expect this story, and I love it even more for what it is.
After my shameless Deanmus read, I had to move on to this. Stories about queer women are too few and far between. This read made my night.
I absolutely love what you've done here with language and emotions throughout. At the beginning, I was feeling this loss and confusion, and the repetition and resonanace of Septima in Rolanda's life felt so heavy and painful. It felt like a story of a breakup that truly hurt Ro. But then I read on.
Your ability to write two such realistic characters is amazing. I completely understood Rolanda and her feelings and experiences and desperation to change her emotional circumstances. I've been where she is and could see all the things I experienced in what she was experiencing. And Septima was so perfectly awful. I've met way too many people exactly like her—manipulative and condescending and cajoling and just...awful. Ugh. She's so real that I hate it. Why do people have to be that way?
The confrontation between Rolanda and Septima is flawless. It shows such a strength of character in Ro and such a beauty in her revival and escape from a toxic relationship. I loved it. I basically fist pumped the air at the line, "But I cannot stand here and let her rewrite our history when I also hold a quill." FREAKING PERFECT.
I've been thinking a lot lately about the toxic relationships I had when I was younger, and this story was so cathartic for me. I absolutely adored Ro escaping her demons—both internally and externally—and the feeling of freedom she had at the end. God, I hope she keeps that.
The writing in this was stunning. Your characterization was beautiful. The emotions were real. I loved it. I loved it. I loved it.
Thank you for writing this. You're wonderful.
banner by abhorsen. @TDA
Daphne finds Astoria in an abandoned corridor just before the Death Eaters storm Hogwarts.
“He’s on the wrong side." She raised her wand. "And so are you, little sister.”
What a dynamite beginning to this series! I don't even know your Astoria yet, and I literally love her. The line that made me Team Astoria, 100%, was: "Life wasn’t about valid excuses for cowardice and inaction; it was about doing your best to make a difference." I was basically cheering.
So, let's start there: characterization. I loved your Astoria unconditionally. I loved that she's a Ravenclaw. I loved that she has this strong moral compass. I love that her brother is a Slytherin who she looks up to. I love that she stayed. I honestly love just the fact that people stayed, especially underage kids (and all the Hufflepuffs over 17! because we are AWESOME.). So that was a fantastic start. Her voice is wonderful too, and I'm excited to get to explore her world.
Daphne is such an enigma here. I've never read stories with her, let alone stories that cast her as an antagonist to Astoria. So I'm really interested to see where you go with that.
Their interaction was so tense and realistic. I've been at odds with people before, and I've felt these exact feelings facing them down, alone. Not knowing what to say or do, your thoughts racing. I get all of that. So that was awesome.
The only minute CC I might add is to engage the setting more. What's the mood like around Astoria? Are the crowded hallways loud? Can she hear the battle beginning outside? Do people seem afraid? Etc. etc.
All-in-all, though, this was an awesome entrance into this world, and I can't wait to read more. Great job!
banner by abhorsen. @TDA
Some scars last a lifetime.
Winner of round one TidalDragon's 'Knockout' challenge at HPFF
Ahhh, so much wonderful Greengrass interaction! I feel like I'm a part of this family right now, and I wouldn't have it any other way! Your characterization of the siblings is amazing, and I'm so attached to all of them as characters. They're all just so compelling!
I know you mentioned in a PM that you were sorry this was still in third person. I assume that's because you're switching it to first person eventually? I'll definitely reread when you do if you'd like! This is fabulous as is, though.
The only error I saw (though, maybe it was just Daphne not caring enough to remember) is when the sisters are talking and Daphnes is justifying forcing Astoria to leave the battle. And she says, "You were sixteen," but that's not accurate according to the other stories (which say that Astoria was fifteen).
I loved the depth you gave Astoria's entire sixth year in this story, despite it being skimmed over so quickly. The detail about the window being kept open crushed me. And the emptiness of their dormitory. And her fear of the dungeons. It was all so well placed to show everything Astoria has gone through. I loved that.
I also just love the emotions you were able to put into all of Astoria's actions, even running from Daphne and showing up at Brendon's. She's so broken right now, but I can tell that she's strong and she'll move forward in time.
This was really a wonderful story for showing the dynamic between the three siblings (and even somewhat their parents). I liked it a lot.
On to more stories!
There are darker mirrors than Erised in the Wizarding World.
1st place in AditiDraco95's 'Death Eater's Victim' challenge at HPFF
Hello, my dear!
I can't believe I'm done with your current Drastoria fics! But now I get to move on to reading your other stories! I'm leaving the Johanna ones and the Tedoire ones for a while and bouncing to some others, so here we go!
This was really written lovely...ly. I wasn't sure what to expect when I saw that Dorcas was the main character, but this was really nice. I feel that you did a good job portraying the struggle of an unfamiliar character. I'm not 100% sure waht she was experiencing, but it was still really moving.
Definitely the thing I have to commend you on the most here is the emotions that you portrayed throughout this story. I could really feel Dorcas's fear and desperation, as well as her anxiety and compulsive need to get away from the mirror. That was all very real for me. We've talked about V for Vendetta a few times, and this gave me some Valerie-vibes akin to her imprisonment.
By the end, I assumed she was being held captive by Death Eaters, but I wasn't too sure. I'm still not, but I don't know if that matters too much. She was clearly experiencing something, and I didn't really have to know what.
This was good, and I liked it a lot! (Still missing my Draco and Astoria, but shh. That's a me problem.)
On to more fics!
He and I, we were infinitesimal.
For Connor & Tanya
Incredible banner by clarity. @TDA
So, this is the first James/Regulus story I've ever read, and it made me desperately want to search out others. This was so incredibly well written. It was stunning and beautiful, and I really, really loved it. There are so many wonderful lines that you crafted, but this one stood out: "I felt something in my stomach clench and thud, like a stone falling off a window-ledge." I literally know that feeling precisely, and that you put it into words is so amazing. So that's my first compliment: the writing in this story is STUNNING.
Secondly, the characterization that you portray for both James and Regulus (as well as Lily from James's point of view) is wonderful. I love that you captured James's mix of guilt and acceptance over what he had done to Lily. I love Regulus's uncertainty and loneliness and desperation. I really wish I could've read Regulus's letter to James at the end. I feel like I would love to see how he thought of their relationship. Lily was also wonderful. James knew she would be so hurt to learn the truth, but I feel like she also has so much compassion that I would love to see her own reaction to this.
The epistolary style was such a great way to portray this truth that James lived. I think it was really important for readers to see him looking back and justifying why he did what he did and how it's affected his life. I definitely don't think what he did was RIGHT -- cheating is definitely not okay! -- but I think a story like this needed his explanation in his own words.
Overall, I think this story was wonderful, and I'm so glad I found it. I think it will be the first I add to my Favorites list! Thanks for writing this so I had the pleasure to read it!
Men are defined by the marks of their wars. Draco Malfoy is no different.
(written for the hpft archive grand opening challenge)
I'm so excited to read another story by you! And as I adore Draco, I couldn't be more thrilled about this one in particular.
I have to start with compliments about the title of this story. It's so poignant and almost tells things without you needing to read on (not that anyone should stop at the title of this). Then in only 150 words, you take the chance to expand so much on the title, on the crashing and burning, and that's wonderful.
Draco is one of my absolute favorite characters. I find him fascinating for many reasons, but the premise of this story is a major one. — After all, what would any of us do in his situation at his age? It's easy to say we'd do the right thing and not align with Voldemort...but at sixteen? Afraid and lost and influenced by adults much older and more powerful than you? Maybe it's not such an easy choice after all.
You did a great job of capturing the mood and tone of this story. There was such resonance in Draco's experience, such truth in his pain. It can't possibly be easy to face what he's been through, and he has the added stigma of having the Dark Mark. He can't run from that.
You definitely made me feel for Draco. I wanted him to be better, happier, whatever would get him out of his current situation. He probably needs a therapist, if we're being honest. I hope he finds peace.
You did a great job with this drabble! Don't doubt your skills!
banner by danverszorel @ TDA
If there was one thing Ginny Weasley hated more than being ignored, it was being left behind.
Especially when all she could do was sit and wait for him to return - assuming they sent him back in one piece.
|part 1 in the Ginny/Seamus collection|
Hello, my dear blinking friend! ;)
I'm so excited to have you for review swaps this month! I've read your Ginny/Seamus series before, but I'm awful, so I've never reviewed the stories. So I'm so happy to be here to reread and tell you my thoughts.
I have to start by telling you how thoroughly you've convinced me of the relationship between Ginny and Seamus. Your characterization of them is perfect. I love that you haven't sacrificed Ginny's strength or independence to her love of Seamus. And I love how cheeky and fun Seamus is, even after what he's experienced this night. They're both so believeable as unique takes on the characters we know. You've done wonderfully.
And, as I said before, because of that solid characterization, I bought their relationship and felt completed invested in it. The moment when they kiss makes me actually smile at my screen every time I read it. :D And I love that Seamus knows how Ginny feels about him even before she admits it to herself. Their connection is just so sweet and lovely.
I adore DH-At-Hogwarts stories, and you've written such a fantastic one. The plot here fits exactly into our knowledge of canon, but it also provides a completely original take on things, which I love. Honestly, I'd read an entire novel just of Seamus and Ginny's friendship as it evolves to this first kiss.
You've done such a wonderful job with this, Jill! I'll review the other parts of this series ASAP!
Um. Excuse me. I don't think I asked to have my heart ripped out.
Seriously, Chiara, how did you do this? In less than 200 words, you wrote a story with so many emotions and so much depth. Not a single character named (outside of our narrator), not a setting described, and you blew me away. I am so, so impressed.
The first four lines are so beautiful. The exude such hope and happiness and purity. I don't know how to describe it, but it was honestly like reading something that glowed. I could see the world through a tiny, happy fish's eyes. It gave me such a buoyant feeling, and then...
Well, then the last four lines happened. And you took the emotions from the first four lines and flipped them completely around. It was incredibly impressive! The final line absolutely gutted me. How you contained such dramatic and deep feelings--the end of lives, the beginning of a new war--in so few words...wow.
Chiara, I cannot explain how impressed I am with this. It is such a feat to capture such strong emotions in only eight lines. You're a tremendous writer.
Emily! Aww, I'm so happy that you are back here again and thank you so much for your review and sorry for breaking your heart and sorry for the late reply as well...
I'm so glad you could feel all the emotions in this little drabble. I'm actually not sure how to reply to this except by saying that I'm so glad you liked this and thank you so much for all your kind words!
Love you, my dear!
banner by abhorsen. @TDA
Meeting banshees in the Forbidden Forest, setting the Great Hall on fire, and smuggling in contraband: Victoire and Fred Weasley are trouble with a capital T.
HPFT FROGS: Best Family/Friendship Runner Up for Victoire and Fred (2018), Ravenclaw Nargle: Best Ravenclaw Character (2017), Featured Story (June 2018) | HPFF Diadem: Little Claw (2016), Ravenclaw SotM: Best Characterization (July 2015) | 1st in the 'Halloween Fanfiction' Challenge at Shadowplay
Hello, my dear!
I'm here to finally read and review all of Shenanigans! (Though it may take me...a long time; let's be honest.)
Okay, so first chapter! Yay!
Let's start by saying that I don't actually read much Next-Gen. So this is going to be a new experience for me. The only real NG stories I've read have been Scorbus one-shots! But I'm excited for a novel and particularly excited that it's one you've written (as you know how much I love your writing!).
I really like your initial characterization of Victoire and Freddy! I'm not used to either of them as characters, but I know that it's common for people to make Vic kind of a bitch, so I'm glad that doesn't seem to be the case here. And Fred clearly has his father's wit, so that's lovely to see! Their friendship is really clear throughout this. I'm not close to any of my cousins, but this sort of made me wish I was. Finally, I also like your Teddy! He seems much more mature than Vic and Fred, but still "fun." ;)
The plot so far is fun as well! I'm interested to see if they get away with missing the train. The only thing I did notice was that I feel like Floo Powder wouldn't be that expensive, and 19 sickles is more than a galleon. I know none of us understand JKR's monetary system, so it's definitely not a big deal, but just something I wanted to bring up.
Other than that, fantastic first chapter! I'm almost positive I've read it before, but since I haven't reviewed, I hope this gets my thoughts out to you clearly.
I'll read on soon!
banner by amoretti. @TDA
It's not every day you find a golden snidget in a beautiful forest.
I've never read a Lucy story (I don't think), so this was a really pleasant introduction to her as a character! And this story was really lovely as a moment in a person's life, out of her comfort zone, where something really special happens.
I can absolutely see Lucy as Percy's daughter. I think he gets too much criticism, but I think he'd be a really good dad, despite inevitably influencing his daughters to be a bit stuffier than their cousins. Your characterization of Lucy was really nice, though. I liked that she was unashamed of liking the indoors and the work she does. It wasn't overstated, but I could tell she was happy with the life she had, and I liked that a lot.
I also loved her moment with the snidget. The only constructive criticism I might have would be to mention just how rare it would be to see one. (They were hunted nearly to extinction, weren't they?) Lucy with the snidget was so nice. I loved that, even as a bird, the snidget had a personality and added to the story and Lucy's understanding of something outside of her daily life.
This story felt bigger than itself to me. Even if you didn't mean for it to be there, I felt like I got a message about nature and comfort and good times despite being busy and having a life away from simple pleasures. Maybe I'm also just reading too much into this because my life has been so hectic lately, haha. Either way, I liked that "message" a lot.
Thank you for writing this. It was really sweet. :)
I'm really excited to review this chapter for you, and I hope you'll let me know if you ever choose to continue this story.
First off, what a fun premise! I always love Reformed Draco stories, and this one seems to fit that vein. It's interesting to hear that Blaise and Pansy let him crash on their couch for four years. I once had a friend who lived with me for two months while she looked for an apartment, and that started to feel too long, haha. But it was nice to know that Draco has those people who he's close enough to to be able to live with and trust with his truths.
I also love that he's putting himself through Healer school. I really think Reformed Draco would fit in well as a Healer, so that makes me happy. :)
Now, their letters! Ohhhh man. The first thing I thought of was, "Why on earth would you want to keep your name a secret?" but then I thought, "Well, actually, if you were a war hero or a former Death Eater, that might be understandable." So I can suspend my disbelief there!
(Brief sidenote: 20 Galleons a month DOES seem steep for an apartment. Considering that would be 340 Sickles. Though I think we all know that JKR's monetary system makes no sense, haha.)
The letters themselves are so exciting. I tried reading them as if I didn't know who the writers were, but I definitely knew that Draco had given away his identity in his very first letter! He was awful at hiding any details about himself, haha.
(Second sidenote: At the beginning of the story, Draco says he was kicked out by his parents "four years" ago, but then in his letter to Hermione, he says he graduated Hogwarts "last year" and is only in his first year of Healer school. Continuity?)
I really do think this premise is great, and I'd love to read on if you continue. Well done on the first chapter!
Fabulous Banner by Violet at SAYS *huggle* Sometimes in life, the wrong thing to do can seem so right. There is no justification with cheating in a relationship, yet it happens for reasons that can't be explained. Here is one story that puts characters in this situation.
I've made it my goal during the Magical Menagerie event to read and review every Dramione story on the HPFT archives! So here I am! :)
I want to start with some compliments about your characterization! I really love Pansy in this story. It's far too common for me to see her written as an unintelligent, mean burden to Draco. I really prefer to see her written as his friend. So at the beginning of this when it said that she was not only Draco's future wife, but also his best friend...I loved that. And even at the end when she threatened him, I felt that was in character and appropriate for her as a Slytherin woman. She's strongwilled and smart, even if she doesn't get the credit for being so.
I also like how you've written Draco and Hermione. They aren't characterized how they're written in canon, obviously, but there's still a hint of that. I like that I can see Hermione breaking her perfection for something that makes her feel more free. And this story was absolutely an example of that.
The way that you explained their need for each other—despite it being wrong and them not being friends, etc.—rang really true to me in the context on the world you've built here. They're both under so much pressure, but there's some sort of release from it in being together.
I think the most impressive part of this story is that, even though I'm a hardcore Dramione shipper, this story didn't make me want them to be together. It made me want them to burn out and break apart, which is so shocking to me. I think that's really impressive: that you were able to create a context where they're together, but they really shouldn't be, and it will be better when they aren't.
So, well done! I enjoyed this!
Hi there :) Firstly, thanks for reading and reviewing.
You'd have to be the first person to actually understand this story - their mutual need for release under so much pressure.
I've toyed with a sequal for this story too, but unsure how I want it to go yet :)
Draco visits the grave of his beloved.
**For ImaRavenclaw's Very Christmassy Love Challenge**
I'm excited to be attempting to review every Dramione on HPFT during the Magical Menagerie event! So here I am! :)
Ahh...this story is so short, but so difficult to get through! :( I also wrote a Hermione-dies-of-cancer story once. (Wow, what a terrible way to put that!) It's so hard to grapple with putting an incurable Muggle disease into the wizarding world, so I respect that you've done that—and done it so well!
You really captured the emotions of someone grieving a terrible loss at a time of year that's supposed to be so happy. The emotions throughout this story felt so real. And the final lines (thanking Hermione for giving him a chance and loving him before she passed) were so crushing. I could feel that pain that Draco was experiencing, knowing that one of the best things he had in life is now gone.
The very last line hit me right in the heart. I lost a friend and remember thinking similar things in the time that he's been gone—"I wish this wasn't goodbye." Very poignant.
This was such a well-written eulogy-like story, and I commend you for tackling both the plot and the style (especially the second-person point of view!). Well done!
banner by abhorsen. @TDA & SP
Astoria has to be careful about how much she indulges her vices.
HPFT: FROGS Best Depiction of Mental Illness 3rd place (2018), Featured Story (Dec 2017), Ravenclaw SotM Best Characterization (Jan 2017), 'New Beginnings' challenge runner up
Okay, finally we have some Draco/Astoria interaction! Yayyy! I'm honestly so excited about this, but I'll try to stay objective so I can be useful to you instead of just gushing.
So let's start off with a question that I had while/after reading this! First off, it was a little hard to tell the timeline in this story. How long has it been since Unforgivable? In that one, Astoria was sixteen, so it seems like this happens a while after that if she's drinking legally (She has to be at least seventeen for that in the wizarding world, right?), but I couldn't quite tell how much time has passed. Is she still at Hogwarts? Or is she out in the world now? If so, she's still living with Brendon? I just wasn't quite sure!
Characterization-wise, I loved getting to see this side of Astoria. She's been through so much, and it was so hard to see that she's struggling so much, but it was also so realistic. I thought it was good that you explained that she knows drinking is her vice, but she's accepted that in lieu of other self-harm. I felt terrible for her though, and I really do hope things get better for her soon (possibly with Draco's help, hmmm?).
Draco himself was quite good as well! He's so different in this from how I usually read him, but I liked it! He's not quite as hotheaded, and I liked that he clearly knows he messed up during the war and is trying to atone for it. The one line that I wasn't so sure about though was when Astoria asks, "You really are scared, aren't you?" and Draco replies, "Yes, Astoria." It was hard for me to imagine Draco admitting to being afraid that bluntly to a person who's essentially a stranger. I also wondered why he was so interested in talking to her or helping her in the first place. I understand that he knows and likes Brendon, but going out of his way for Astoria was a big leap for me. I'm interested to read more about your Draco in other stories to piece that aspect of his transformation together.
The settings you chose were very vivid, and I liked the fight in the Three Broomsticks. It was an intense first moment for Draco and Astoria, and I feel like it shows what they're going to go through together if they're going to stick with each other.
Overall, I really liked this. It was wonderful to read about their first moments, and I absolutely can't wait to see where this relationship goes!