My name is Emily, and I'm so excited you've found this page. Please feel free to visit the forums and send me a PM, post on my profile, or post on my Writer's Journal page if you'd like to chat. I love getting to know other members and growing our community.
I'm a twenty-something, U.S.-based book person! I'm bi/pansexual (which I personally use interchangeably for my own identity) and use the pronouns she/her. I love cats, reading, writing, and learning about true crime.
I am a very proud Hufflepuff! I've been writing Harry Potter fanfiction since 2006, originally at HPFF and now at HPFT. I'm slowly transferring my better stories to this site, and I hope you'll be patient with me as I do so. Feel free to ask for updates if you're wondering if something will be edited and posted here! And if you've read any of my work and/or want to ask questions or leave me comments, please visit my Writer's Journal topic!
On HPFF, my penname was DracoFerret11, and my username on the forums was DarkRose. Maybe we knew each other?
Here, my username on both the forums and the archives is Renacerá, which is Spanish for "she will be reborn."
I've been an Auror on HPFT since January 2018 and absolutely love my role. I read and validate stories, and I'm continuously impressed by the fantastic authors on HPFT. If you ever have questions about the archives, please feel free to PM me or post on my forum profile!
I'm here for the 2018 Niffler Gifting event, and I'm so happy to leave this story a review! So away we go! —
I love how you took the funny "Drapple" theme that had floated around eons ago and turned it into such a poignant story! I'm a huge fan of Draco (that's what drew me to this story!), so it's always nice to see explorations of him as a character of depth instead of just a 1D villain. He really did go through so much at such a young age (as many of our canon characters did), and I love stories about that.
Your characterization of Draco was really lovely. I think you did a great job balancing his youthful hopefulness with his disillusionment. And knowing the scene that directly follows this story—when Draco doesn't give Harry & co. up to his family—is awesome! What a great "missing moment."
Overall, you did a really good job with this little story. I loved the descriptions and depth you gave something that could've easily been comedic in another author's hands.
Companion Piece to When I Go Out With You || Banner by me
- A Susan Bones Story -
Oh my gosh, yay! Representation! I have a couple of poly friends who would be SO happy to see a story about their identity anywhere. This is so cool. And so well written!
I love that you captured an aspect of the poly experience that isn’t always examined: it can be hard and isolating to feel penned in by society’s expectations of monogamy. Especially when somebody (in this case, Susan) loves a non-poly person. It sounds so heartbreaking and hard to deal with. And you really captured that well.
I love that this conversation happened with Luna. I have so much appreciation for that lovely girl. She’s so accepting and honest and genuine. I feel like she’s exactly who Susan needed to talk to at this moment. And I hope in my imagined future for them, they can be friends and bond even more about this even if they don’t end up dating.
I think integral to this story is the sheer humanity in it. The emotions Susan was feeling and Luna’s patience and empathy really resonated with me. And it’s just lovely how you portrayed their conversation. Not on-the-nose, but real and straightforward and just...ahhh, so well done!
Great story, dear! I commend you!
Banner by idioteque @ TDA
For moonbaby11's Up For Grabs Challenge and the Every Word Counts Challenge
It’s like making love to a ghost.
The other person disappears in the act of becoming part of you,
and you are left with yourself, pure and raw and complete.
But there is someone else inside you, incorporeal but undeniable.
Review time for this year's Snowball Fight/review battle!
So, I don't know if I've ever read a James/Sirius story before, but I honestly don't know why I wouldn't have! This was really lovely! I'm honestly floored by your command of language and poetry. This read like a song or a poem or a prayer. It captured me with the feelings just below the surface. I don't know how to describe it, but I really felt like I was flying with Sirius with this sort of...desperation or rush driving me. I read this quickly, and then slowly. It was like the first time I had to get through it, had to know what I already knew he'd find...but then I had to go back and really drink in the feelings and emotions. You did an amazing job with them.
I love your characterization of Sirius and James, as subtle as it was. I feel like you really captured the dichotomy of James' dual life. I also adored the last few lines ("The home you made with her is ashes. The corners we hid in are gone. The shadows within me remain. Will the ghost of you still find your way there?"). The part about ashes for some reason really struck me. There's so much that our Marauders lost that night that is easy not to think about, but this story brought it front and center.
All-in-all, this was fantastic. I honestly don't have constructive criticism (I wish I did so this would be more helpful!). Wonderful job!
A gift for Treacle Tart for Slytherinchica08's Gift It Challenge | Banner by Hobbit' @ TDA
It is Dean and Seamus' anniversary and things do not go as planned. That's kind of their thing.
I wanted to come by and leave you a couple of reviews to congratulate you for winning 'Puff of the Month (and also Head Student)! So, here's the first! :)
Honestly, I clicked on this the second I saw the banner. I've become such a Dean/Seamus fan in recent months (even though I actually pair Dean with Lee Jordan), and I basically love reading any story about them.
And this story was no exception! It was so cute and genuine. I loved every minute of it. Dean and Seamus have such a healthy, balanced relationship, and there's obviously so much love between them in this story. Dean comforting Seamus and knowing how to encourage him despite his mistakes with the tart was so precious. And Seamus being so hopeless at certain types of magic is so believeable! ;)
I especially liked that you had the brief reference to the war at the beginning of this. When Dean comes home and sees smoke, he is immediately thrown back to the days of the war, and that really rang true to me. I like that it took him a few minutes to calm himself down and believe that everything was okay. I could've even believed he'd need longer, if ever you decide to edit this—though, don't misunderstand me, it's basically perfect as is.
Overall, I think your characterization was wonderful; the plot was adorable; and the story as a whole was really sweet.
I always love the chance to read older stories and revive them in the author's memory, so I hope this review has done that for you.
For Frankie05 and AngelEyez3954's Wish It Was Canon Rare Pair Challenge | Banner by jupiter@TDA
This morning, Septima is everywhere.
Rolanda Hooch/Septima Vector
I did not expect this story, and I love it even more for what it is.
After my shameless Deanmus read, I had to move on to this. Stories about queer women are too few and far between. This read made my night.
I absolutely love what you've done here with language and emotions throughout. At the beginning, I was feeling this loss and confusion, and the repetition and resonanace of Septima in Rolanda's life felt so heavy and painful. It felt like a story of a breakup that truly hurt Ro. But then I read on.
Your ability to write two such realistic characters is amazing. I completely understood Rolanda and her feelings and experiences and desperation to change her emotional circumstances. I've been where she is and could see all the things I experienced in what she was experiencing. And Septima was so perfectly awful. I've met way too many people exactly like her—manipulative and condescending and cajoling and just...awful. Ugh. She's so real that I hate it. Why do people have to be that way?
The confrontation between Rolanda and Septima is flawless. It shows such a strength of character in Ro and such a beauty in her revival and escape from a toxic relationship. I loved it. I basically fist pumped the air at the line, "But I cannot stand here and let her rewrite our history when I also hold a quill." FREAKING PERFECT.
I've been thinking a lot lately about the toxic relationships I had when I was younger, and this story was so cathartic for me. I absolutely adored Ro escaping her demons—both internally and externally—and the feeling of freedom she had at the end. God, I hope she keeps that.
The writing in this was stunning. Your characterization was beautiful. The emotions were real. I loved it. I loved it. I loved it.
Thank you for writing this. You're wonderful.
banner by abhorsen. @TDA
Daphne finds Astoria in an abandoned corridor just before the Death Eaters storm Hogwarts.
“He’s on the wrong side." She raised her wand. "And so are you, little sister.”
What a dynamite beginning to this series! I don't even know your Astoria yet, and I literally love her. The line that made me Team Astoria, 100%, was: "Life wasn’t about valid excuses for cowardice and inaction; it was about doing your best to make a difference." I was basically cheering.
So, let's start there: characterization. I loved your Astoria unconditionally. I loved that she's a Ravenclaw. I loved that she has this strong moral compass. I love that her brother is a Slytherin who she looks up to. I love that she stayed. I honestly love just the fact that people stayed, especially underage kids (and all the Hufflepuffs over 17! because we are AWESOME.). So that was a fantastic start. Her voice is wonderful too, and I'm excited to get to explore her world.
Daphne is such an enigma here. I've never read stories with her, let alone stories that cast her as an antagonist to Astoria. So I'm really interested to see where you go with that.
Their interaction was so tense and realistic. I've been at odds with people before, and I've felt these exact feelings facing them down, alone. Not knowing what to say or do, your thoughts racing. I get all of that. So that was awesome.
The only minute CC I might add is to engage the setting more. What's the mood like around Astoria? Are the crowded hallways loud? Can she hear the battle beginning outside? Do people seem afraid? Etc. etc.
All-in-all, though, this was an awesome entrance into this world, and I can't wait to read more. Great job!
banner by abhorsen. @TDA
Some scars last a lifetime.
Winner of round one TidalDragon's 'Knockout' challenge at HPFF
Ahhh, so much wonderful Greengrass interaction! I feel like I'm a part of this family right now, and I wouldn't have it any other way! Your characterization of the siblings is amazing, and I'm so attached to all of them as characters. They're all just so compelling!
I know you mentioned in a PM that you were sorry this was still in third person. I assume that's because you're switching it to first person eventually? I'll definitely reread when you do if you'd like! This is fabulous as is, though.
The only error I saw (though, maybe it was just Daphne not caring enough to remember) is when the sisters are talking and Daphnes is justifying forcing Astoria to leave the battle. And she says, "You were sixteen," but that's not accurate according to the other stories (which say that Astoria was fifteen).
I loved the depth you gave Astoria's entire sixth year in this story, despite it being skimmed over so quickly. The detail about the window being kept open crushed me. And the emptiness of their dormitory. And her fear of the dungeons. It was all so well placed to show everything Astoria has gone through. I loved that.
I also just love the emotions you were able to put into all of Astoria's actions, even running from Daphne and showing up at Brendon's. She's so broken right now, but I can tell that she's strong and she'll move forward in time.
This was really a wonderful story for showing the dynamic between the three siblings (and even somewhat their parents). I liked it a lot.
On to more stories!
There are darker mirrors than Erised in the Wizarding World.
1st place in AditiDraco95's 'Death Eater's Victim' challenge at HPFF
Hello, my dear!
I can't believe I'm done with your current Drastoria fics! But now I get to move on to reading your other stories! I'm leaving the Johanna ones and the Tedoire ones for a while and bouncing to some others, so here we go!
This was really written lovely...ly. I wasn't sure what to expect when I saw that Dorcas was the main character, but this was really nice. I feel that you did a good job portraying the struggle of an unfamiliar character. I'm not 100% sure waht she was experiencing, but it was still really moving.
Definitely the thing I have to commend you on the most here is the emotions that you portrayed throughout this story. I could really feel Dorcas's fear and desperation, as well as her anxiety and compulsive need to get away from the mirror. That was all very real for me. We've talked about V for Vendetta a few times, and this gave me some Valerie-vibes akin to her imprisonment.
By the end, I assumed she was being held captive by Death Eaters, but I wasn't too sure. I'm still not, but I don't know if that matters too much. She was clearly experiencing something, and I didn't really have to know what.
This was good, and I liked it a lot! (Still missing my Draco and Astoria, but shh. That's a me problem.)
On to more fics!
He and I, we were infinitesimal.
For Connor & Tanya
So, this is the first James/Regulus story I've ever read, and it made me desperately want to search out others. This was so incredibly well written. It was stunning and beautiful, and I really, really loved it. There are so many wonderful lines that you crafted, but this one stood out: "I felt something in my stomach clench and thud, like a stone falling off a window-ledge." I literally know that feeling precisely, and that you put it into words is so amazing. So that's my first compliment: the writing in this story is STUNNING.
Secondly, the characterization that you portray for both James and Regulus (as well as Lily from James's point of view) is wonderful. I love that you captured James's mix of guilt and acceptance over what he had done to Lily. I love Regulus's uncertainty and loneliness and desperation. I really wish I could've read Regulus's letter to James at the end. I feel like I would love to see how he thought of their relationship. Lily was also wonderful. James knew she would be so hurt to learn the truth, but I feel like she also has so much compassion that I would love to see her own reaction to this.
The epistolary style was such a great way to portray this truth that James lived. I think it was really important for readers to see him looking back and justifying why he did what he did and how it's affected his life. I definitely don't think what he did was RIGHT -- cheating is definitely not okay! -- but I think a story like this needed his explanation in his own words.
Overall, I think this story was wonderful, and I'm so glad I found it. I think it will be the first I add to my Favorites list! Thanks for writing this so I had the pleasure to read it!
Um. Excuse me. I don't think I asked to have my heart ripped out.
Seriously, Chiara, how did you do this? In less than 200 words, you wrote a story with so many emotions and so much depth. Not a single character named (outside of our narrator), not a setting described, and you blew me away. I am so, so impressed.
The first four lines are so beautiful. The exude such hope and happiness and purity. I don't know how to describe it, but it was honestly like reading something that glowed. I could see the world through a tiny, happy fish's eyes. It gave me such a buoyant feeling, and then...
Well, then the last four lines happened. And you took the emotions from the first four lines and flipped them completely around. It was incredibly impressive! The final line absolutely gutted me. How you contained such dramatic and deep feelings--the end of lives, the beginning of a new war--in so few words...wow.
Chiara, I cannot explain how impressed I am with this. It is such a feat to capture such strong emotions in only eight lines. You're a tremendous writer.
Emily! Aww, I'm so happy that you are back here again and thank you so much for your review and sorry for breaking your heart and sorry for the late reply as well...
I'm so glad you could feel all the emotions in this little drabble. I'm actually not sure how to reply to this except by saying that I'm so glad you liked this and thank you so much for all your kind words!
Love you, my dear!
banner by amoretti. @TDA
It's not every day you find a golden snidget in a beautiful forest.
I've never read a Lucy story (I don't think), so this was a really pleasant introduction to her as a character! And this story was really lovely as a moment in a person's life, out of her comfort zone, where something really special happens.
I can absolutely see Lucy as Percy's daughter. I think he gets too much criticism, but I think he'd be a really good dad, despite inevitably influencing his daughters to be a bit stuffier than their cousins. Your characterization of Lucy was really nice, though. I liked that she was unashamed of liking the indoors and the work she does. It wasn't overstated, but I could tell she was happy with the life she had, and I liked that a lot.
I also loved her moment with the snidget. The only constructive criticism I might have would be to mention just how rare it would be to see one. (They were hunted nearly to extinction, weren't they?) Lucy with the snidget was so nice. I loved that, even as a bird, the snidget had a personality and added to the story and Lucy's understanding of something outside of her daily life.
This story felt bigger than itself to me. Even if you didn't mean for it to be there, I felt like I got a message about nature and comfort and good times despite being busy and having a life away from simple pleasures. Maybe I'm also just reading too much into this because my life has been so hectic lately, haha. Either way, I liked that "message" a lot.
Thank you for writing this. It was really sweet. :)
banner by abhorsen. @TDA & SP
Astoria has to be careful about how much she indulges her vices.
HPFT: FROGS Best Depiction of Mental Illness 3rd place (2018), Featured Story (Dec 2017), Ravenclaw SotM Best Characterization (Jan 2017), 'New Beginnings' challenge runner up
Okay, finally we have some Draco/Astoria interaction! Yayyy! I'm honestly so excited about this, but I'll try to stay objective so I can be useful to you instead of just gushing.
So let's start off with a question that I had while/after reading this! First off, it was a little hard to tell the timeline in this story. How long has it been since Unforgivable? In that one, Astoria was sixteen, so it seems like this happens a while after that if she's drinking legally (She has to be at least seventeen for that in the wizarding world, right?), but I couldn't quite tell how much time has passed. Is she still at Hogwarts? Or is she out in the world now? If so, she's still living with Brendon? I just wasn't quite sure!
Characterization-wise, I loved getting to see this side of Astoria. She's been through so much, and it was so hard to see that she's struggling so much, but it was also so realistic. I thought it was good that you explained that she knows drinking is her vice, but she's accepted that in lieu of other self-harm. I felt terrible for her though, and I really do hope things get better for her soon (possibly with Draco's help, hmmm?).
Draco himself was quite good as well! He's so different in this from how I usually read him, but I liked it! He's not quite as hotheaded, and I liked that he clearly knows he messed up during the war and is trying to atone for it. The one line that I wasn't so sure about though was when Astoria asks, "You really are scared, aren't you?" and Draco replies, "Yes, Astoria." It was hard for me to imagine Draco admitting to being afraid that bluntly to a person who's essentially a stranger. I also wondered why he was so interested in talking to her or helping her in the first place. I understand that he knows and likes Brendon, but going out of his way for Astoria was a big leap for me. I'm interested to read more about your Draco in other stories to piece that aspect of his transformation together.
The settings you chose were very vivid, and I liked the fight in the Three Broomsticks. It was an intense first moment for Draco and Astoria, and I feel like it shows what they're going to go through together if they're going to stick with each other.
Overall, I really liked this. It was wonderful to read about their first moments, and I absolutely can't wait to see where this relationship goes!
Five months after the death of his love, Draco Malfoy spends Valentine's day with an old muggle camera and reliving his lost relationship.
Banner by WindingArrow
For the Throw Down the Gauntlet challenge.
I am so incredibly happy that I found this story. I can't wait to read the next chapter. Honestly, this was so lovely. You hit every high and low emotion there is, and I have to applaud you.
Your characterization of Harry and Draco is spot on, and I loved that you had Draco's Slytherin friends at the beginning and the compassion they showed for him. I loved the evolution of Draco and Harry as individuals and how they came to see each other differently to the point where they could be together.
The writing here is fabulous. I was smiling at Draco's antics and then holding back tears from line to line. I fell in love with this funny, happy Draco who likes to joke and flirt and be a better person than he was as a teenager. And the way you portrayed his grief was so potent and realistic. It tugged at my heart to see his desperation over losing Harry. I don't blame him in the slightest for his grief still being so powerful five months later -- in my own experience, it can last much longer than that.
I also loved the parallelism with Valentine's Day and its importance to their friendship and subsequent relationship. It made me want to see their life closer up, rather than just the lens after Harry's passed away.
Overall, this has been amazing so far, and I'm so glad I found it. Thanks for writing this so I had the pleasure of reading it! On to the next chapter!
Oh! Harry's alive! Oh my gosh! That's definitely not what I expected. The style of this second chapter was so different from the first that I read it twice just to check that I understood what was happening. I'm so happy that Harry is back with Draco, but I also really thought he'd died, so I'm super thrown off!
I think you did a good job with this chapter showing the guilt that Harry felt for leaving Draco, but I was still a little unclear on why he did it. It seemed like it was part of a work assignment? But what sort of Auror job would make you break up with your boyfriend? Was he pretending to be dead? I'm unsure.
I do wish this story went on longer! I think you really do show a great relationship between Draco and Harry, and I would love to read more. Thanks for writing!
banner by MissyPadfoot@TDA
Crookshanks wants to find somewhere to sleep and rest his weary bones, but Ron and Hermione won't let him.
A fanfic of a fanfic for a challenge. A fanfic of GeorgiaWeasley's 'Time to Go' at HPFF, with her permission.
Can I just say that I love kitties so much? So, of course, I had to read this. Crookshanks is amazing! I loved that this was from his point of view and that we got a peek into what he does during the time when he's at home alone.
You write the perspective of a cat so well! I laughed so many times when Crookshanks was making messes and going places he wasn't supposed to go. That's so much like my kitty. You definitely captured the disdainful-cat(kneazle) voice perfectly. He definitely didn't care what anyone thought of him! And I loved the ending! Waking up Ron and then not even eating what he'd been given was wonderful, haha! (Though, my cat would never turn his nose up at food.) And then when Crookshanks goes and steals Ron's spot by Hermione--perfection.
The only constructive criticism I might offer would be to strengthen descriptions of the house from Crookshanks' point of view. Since he's so much lower to the ground than us, do things look different? Do they feel different under his paws? Can he see clumps of his fur on the carpets? You had a lot of really good descriptions here too, so this would just be in addition to what you've already written!
Overall, great job! This was really sweet, and I'm now going to go attempt to hug my kitty (which he'll hate, but I'll do it anyway).
So your CC first: description and emotion are by far my weakest points, so thanks for letting me know it's a bit weak here. I appreciate the CC.
I love kitties and have written a few things from their pov, and I really love doing it. I loved writing Crookshanks as a grumpy old man and having him voice his concerns. If you haven't read the story it's based on, I highly recommend Georgia_Weasley's story, "Time to Go," since this was a fanfic of a fanfic challenge.
Thank you for the review and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Lily needs a little space from her family, so she does the most sensible thing she can think of: she runs away to live in Edwin Dursley's closet.
So, I didn't even know the blizzard was going on and just happened to be reading your stories compulsively. So, it works out!
I've been wanting to read this story since I saw the summary literally forever ago. I've never read anything that references Dudley or his family in Next-Gen, so the description of this was just thrilling. And I am hooked.
I am so here for this! Like, seriously! I love the characters you've chosen in this. Lily also isn't a character I've read much or know much about, so that's gonna be fun. So far, I really like her. I love the dynamic you're describing. Her annoyance at her family's recklessness is so believable. And I can so relate.
I also adore that Scorpius is a part of this (even if he's not with Albus, but like...c'mon, Scorbus!). I love me some mini-more-levelheaded-Draco! So this is going to be fun for me, characters-wise.
You also set the scene so well with the mentions of all the other hospitalizations and Lily's feelings towards them. And also your writing. Ugh. It's so wonderful. I hatelove it. You're too good.
So far, I really love this. My CC is, as usual, absent. Because I suck.
perfect banner by prokaryote.@tda!
If being away from Dean was making his dreams this bad and his feelings so strong, maybe living with Dean would make them both go away. They could go back to before, when things were easy and Seamus wasn’t one spark away from an explosion.
The fact that I held off this long on reading more of your Deanmus stories after sobbing through “A Little Like This” is shocking. Because you are so damn good at this! I have an in-progress novel with a Lee Jordan/Dean pairing and I’m so disappointed I didn’t read Deanmus before I wrote it. Because you easily make them an OTP for me.
Honestly, it’s rare for me to come across authors who capture canon characters so perfectly and then move them so imperceptibly toward something even better. But you do that. Your Dean and Seamus are incredible. And the way you’re already integrating the war and PTSD into this is fantastic. Reconstruction is one of my absolute favorite HP fanfiction periods, so I adore stories set then.
So, despite this only being the first chapter, your characters are flawless. And your portrayal of emotions is spot on. And the plot has already grabbed me. (Though you could literally write about Dean and Seamus shopping for toilet paper and I’d read it.) I can’t wait for them to be in looooove. ;)
I’ll review on soon! Wonderful job so far!
banner by milominderbinder@tda
"I wish there was a way to practice first," Dean commented. "Y'know, before the real thing."
"We could," Seamus said. "We could practice together."
Dean balked, and Seamus held up his hands.
"No, no, hear me out." Seamus' cheeks flooded with red and Dean felt like his were just as hot. "Ya don't want a girl to think you're a shit snog, because she'll go tell all the other girls, and then you'll never get another one."
"But I'm not-" Dean lowered his voice. "You're my best mate. My best guy mate. I'm not gay."
Could I have loved this more? Honestly, I don't know. It was wonderful. There are no other words for it. And seeing that you have other Dean/Seamus stories means that I will have so much to read in the coming days/weeks! I am so excited!
This was fantastic. I'm going to just gush about how wonderful it was rather than provide any constructive criticism whatsoever, but I hope you still like this review!
Characterization-wise, this was awesome. I really felt like you captured Dean and Seamus's canon personalities and built on them to add to this story. The embarrassment they both felt at deciding to "practice" snogging together was wonderful. And the evolution of how they thought of each other was also fantastic. I loved that they came to their realizations about their feelings for each other at different paces. That made it very realistic for me.
The interactions between the two of them were also wonderful. I really adored the fact that they saw each as best friends first, and everything else second. And then not wanting to mess with their friendship. And then being apart and realizing that they wanted desperately to be together. Omg. I have no words. That moment when they reunite and Dean admits that he's going to kiss Seamus for real, and then Seamus kisses him. :D :D :D :D :D SO INCREDIBLY PERFECT. I LOVED IT.
I really have no words for the love I have for this story. Thank you so much for writing it. I'm going to favorite it and go on to read more of the things you've written!
I race around trees and over branches, chasing my prey with a deadly hunger, ready to be unleashed amongst the lightning and the thunder. I’m a monster and that’s all I’ll ever be, I’m a monster who simply wishes to be free. I’m going to make you pay, for all you’ve made me suffer, all the times you’ve kept me away. There’s no coming back for you now, you’re mine, mine, mine.
I've never read a Greyback story, but I'm so glad this was my first! This is so well written! Honestly, this read like poetry, and I'm probably going to spend paragraphs just talking about that.
Your writing in this story was phenomenal. The fact that you were able to capture the out-of-control feeling of a werewolf transformation in words without ever saying that's what the story was about was amazing. The rhyme scheme kept this flowing so easily while I read, and the fact that it was so much like a chase scene was incredible. I could almost feel myself stumbling through a forest away from a pursuer, but through the story you realize that there is no pursuer--it's in him the entire time. Eerie.
So, yes. The language was fabulous. It conveyed so much, but it didn't hit the reader over the head with anything. I also loved the characterization here. The fact that the werewolf within Greyback is a character of its own, distinct from Fenrir himself, is so interesting. The subtle additions of Greyback killing a girl he loved by accident, etc., were wonderful. I liked how the emotions of the wolf's bloodlust and Greyback's desperation fit together so nicely.
You really captured this story and situation. Honestly, such a good job. I wish I could think of constructive criticism, but it was really quite lovely. Thank you for writing!
Thank you so much! This is a story I wrote years ago now, so it's so lovely to revisit it & have such kind words said about it. As much as I think it more likely Greyback is just a horrible person, it was a lot of fun to write it this way instead, to picture it as some kind of horrific supernatural force taking over instead of people themselves just being horrific.
Making me come back and revisit this has really inspired me to try writing something again, so thank you so much for the lovely review <3
Two young boys accepting that love is love and love is unstoppable.
I was dying to read a Scorbus story, and I’m so glad I came across this one. It was short and sweet and dealt with the always-stressful telling-people aspect of a relationship. I wrote a story about the same theme where Scorpius and Albus finally tell Narcissa and Lucius about their relationship. I’d love to read your take on how your characters’ conversations with their families go!
I love that you wrote a dark-haired Scorpius! I’ve honestly never read that detail before and was thrown off for a moment when I figured it out, but I love it. Little changes like that make stories unique and help them stand out.
Your characterization of Albus and Scorpius was also lovely. I wish I could have seen even more of their personalities and them as individuals and as a couple. I’ll have to go see if you’ve written more stories with them!
Good job capturing the scenery around the lake! It felt very vivid! Sensory details are such a good way to bring a scene to life, and you embraced some of those here. Well done!
Overall, great job! I enjoyed this story! :)
Hi Emily! Thanks so much for reviewing!
I'm such a sucker for some cute Scorbus fluff, and I wrote this one years ago when there wasn't nearly enough of it so it was a kind of write what you want to read type thing. I'll have to go look up your story that sounds excellent! I've never actually written a coming out story before, so that is something I should try at some point.
I am so glad you liked dark-haired Scorpius! Almost all the reviews I've ever gotten for this (back when it was on HPFF) hated that I'd done that, or thought I'd written it in accidentally to the point where I almost edited it out uploading it here - but I may have to leave it! Sadly I don't think I have written any other Albus/Scorpius, but it's definitely something I'd like to write more of.
Thank you so much for the lovley review! I really appreciate it <3
Lovely banner by NevillesSoulmate @ tda
You left me. And I'm sad now.
You left me. And maybe I'm moving on now.
He left me. And I'm happy now.
I should honestly read everything you write, because I've never not liked a story by you.
I decided to read this based on the summary, which I think is lovely. Your writing is always good, but that summary (and the way those lines appear within the story itself) is really poetic. It sort of...sings. If that makes sense. And there's that lilting quality throughout this story.
The emotions you captured here are flawless. I know exactly the feeling that Rose is having. When things have been really hard, sometimes there are a few moments when they aren't...and those moments feel so incredibly significant. I loved the line, "Flowers bloom and grow, struggling for breath through the winter chill. And they make it." I love that sometimes the flowers make it. Not always, and maybe they'll wilt again tomorrow...but sometimes they make it.
I assume that Rose's ex here is Scorpius, and I wonder what it's like for her seeming to live so close to where he does. I've been in those awkward trying-to-avoid-someone situations, and I definitely don't envy her.
I'd never considered a Teddy/Rose pairing, so that was interesting to me! I'll have to go read your other stories with that couple to see what I think for sure, but I do like the originality there.
All-in-all, the writing here is lovely. It's resonant and clear and really speaks to the mood throughout the story. Wonderful job.
Fear and darkness are not always short lived. But one can do an awful lot of living in the moments in between.
2014 HPFF House Cup Prompt 2
Hello there, Sian!
I read this story months and months ago and wasn't able to leave a review then. Luckily, I have a few minutes now and have found this once more to let you know what I think! Which is, of course, that this is lovely.
I suffer from depression and have for as long as I can remember, so this extended metaphor really resonated with me. My favorite band, Jack's Mannequin, has a song called "Swim" that this resembles. I've always liked the idea of depression as an ocean, but in every ocean, there are islands. It just takes longer sometimes to find them.
I think you captured Rose's experiences really well, and I love that you didn't shy away from the reality that just because she's in a good place at this particular moment at the end doesn't mean she will always be.
This was lovely. You did a great job with the descriptions and characterization and consistency of the metaphor. I loved it!
Astoria mentions a chance meeting with Draco Malfoy to her brother over breakfast.
Okay, so it seems like maybe "Dead Eyes and Red Eyes" takes place essentially right after "Unforgivable." Or is that wrong again? Omg, I need to get my timeline straight.
Well, I liked that I got to see this conversation between Astoria and Brendon! I really do love their dynamic. And Brendon seems like such a good father. He's still really cool, despite being a dad, haha. So, characterization-wise, this felt good again! I love what a clear grasp you have on your characters. It's really nice to see an author who knows their people inside and out. The conversation between Astoria and Brendon felt so natural and seamless (something that I am so struggling to achieve in the edit of Collateral that I definitely envy your ability to pull it off!). They're clearly siblings, but I get the feeling of hero-worship from Astoria so easily, and I get Brendon's older-brother vibe just as clearly.
I loved that Johanna was in the background here. I've skimmed the summaries of some of your other stories and see that she'll show up as an adult eventually, so I'm interested to see how that goes when I read those ones! Here, she's just cute and she loves her dad. I like that.
The only error I saw in this was in a line of dialogue Astoria has where you've written, "Do he really get death threats?" when I think you likely meant "Does he..."
Other than that, another lovely story! I'm just flying through these! I love this universe so much already, and I can't wait to read more!
Dating a part-veela isn't always a recipe for success.
So, a new pairing for me! And a new character! I don't read much about Dominique (Actually, I may never have read about her.), so this was new for me! Does this one tie into a larger story or is it a stand-alone? I would have liked the chance to get to know Dominique a little more!
So, Charlotte was a good OC! I could tell that she was having trouble with the breakup, which is super relateable for basically all readers. And I could feel her awkwardness when she went to see Dom. I do wonder if you could show a little more about Dominique's character (more than what we're told at the beginning about her being a heartbreaker, for example). I would also have liked more about Louis who seems great!
Formatting-wise, I noticed an issue--there should be a line break or more spaces before the line "Charlotte was still smarting..." since I had trouble at first realizing that we'd switched scenes.
Other than that, this was good! I wasn't as attached to Charlotte as I would have liked to be, but she was a solid OC, and I love all LGBT+ stories, so this made me happy to have a post-breakup lesbian/bi/pan/etc. story. We don't get a lot of those.
Good job! I'll read more of your stories very soooon!
When in need of advice, Luna still liked to get her mum's help, but this time there was something else waiting to help.
Written for Caoty's 'the tarot card' challenge
Hi Shaza, dear!
I really need to read more of your stories. You write so well, and this one was no exception. :)
Honestly, this is so lovely. Luna is such an incredible character (and I'm pretty sure that Evanna Lynch IS Luna) and the scene in DH when they see her painting in her room...ahh. The feels.
I love that you worked Luna's mother into her experience of deciding how to honor her friends. I feel like she's someone who honors her mother every chance she gets, so it makes perfect sense to me that she would want to honor her friends in a visible, recognizable way too. And really, wouldn't Luna be the best friend to have? She seems so loyal and giving of herself. I feel like she could easily have been a 'Puff. She's so honest too. Ahh...I just love her.
You write her so well. I think you really capture her feelings of finally having friends, and the peace she feels knowing that they care about her. I wonder how Luna did after the war...hmm, maybe I'll write that story.
Anyhow, this was just lovely. You're such a good writer and I really enjoyed this story. I promise to read more soon!