It's been a rough couple of months, HPFT. I'm sorry I haven't kept up with my blog here. It's likely seemed as if I dropped off the face of the earth a bit...which is sort of true, I suppose. So, we'll talk personal life then writing life (to try to keep this somewhat fandom-related, rather than just a general rant).
Personal life has been a mess. It's now been six months since we moved to our new home city, and I still don't have a full-time job. I'm still freelancing, but I really thought I'd have a job in an office by now. And I thought I was going to get a position I interviewed for in December...but then that fell through. So instead I'm still sitting around my apartment, feeling like a failure. Logically, I know that the industry is really crowded and I can't possibly be "to blame" for all of the positions that haven't hired me, but it's still hard.
On top of that, we're going to be moving at the end of the month to a new apartment. It's totally unexpected and such a huge stress. But our current place has bed bugs, so we're more than happy to get out of here. Any positive vibes you can send our way would be much appreciated. We'll need them as we search for a new place and pack up our entire lives.
So, besides all of that, it's been hard going in the writing department. In March, I wrote two new one-shots: one that I'm really proud of ("Perforce") and one that I think is an absolute mess (which I'm not going to link to ). But the thing I want to be writing—say it with me now!—is Collateral. I know, I know. I've literally been blogging about this full-novel edit for months. But I'm so slow with it and it's really bumming me out.
Right now, I'm bogged down in rewriting a particular chapter (since it's literally completely new, nothing at all like the old version). I really enjoy the new scene I've come up with, but it's such a different direction for the chapter that it's been hard to finish. I just feel like I'm not very happy writing anymore, and that bums me out.
If we're honest, though, it's probably the fact that everything else in life is so complicated and stressful these days, and it's bleeding over into my writing. But I wish I could internalize that and know that it'll get better. But that's easier said than done.
Anyhow, if you have any tips for keeping my life together (duct tape?) or getting the motivation to finish this godforsaken chapter (please?), let me know! And, as always, thank you for reading!