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Something Unpredictable

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It's been a rough couple of months, HPFT. I'm sorry I haven't kept up with my blog here. It's likely seemed as if I dropped off the face of the earth a bit...which is sort of true, I suppose. So, we'll talk personal life then writing life (to try to keep this somewhat fandom-related, rather than just a general rant).


Personal life has been a mess. It's now been six months since we moved to our new home city, and I still don't have a full-time job. I'm still freelancing, but I really thought I'd have a job in an office by now. And I thought I was going to get a position I interviewed for in December...but then that fell through. So instead I'm still sitting around my apartment, feeling like a failure. Logically, I know that the industry is really crowded and I can't possibly be "to blame" for all of the positions that haven't hired me, but it's still hard.

On top of that, we're going to be moving at the end of the month to a new apartment. It's totally unexpected and such a huge stress. But our current place has bed bugs, so we're more than happy to get out of here. Any positive vibes you can send our way would be much appreciated. We'll need them as we search for a new place and pack up our entire lives.


So, besides all of that, it's been hard going in the writing department. In March, I wrote two new one-shots: one that I'm really proud of ("Perforce") and one that I think is an absolute mess (which I'm not going to link to ?‍♀️). But the thing I want to be writing—say it with me now!—is Collateral. I know, I know. I've literally been blogging about this full-novel edit for months. But I'm so slow with it and it's really bumming me out.

Right now, I'm bogged down in rewriting a particular chapter (since it's literally completely new, nothing at all like the old version). I really enjoy the new scene I've come up with, but it's such a different direction for the chapter that it's been hard to finish. I just feel like I'm not very happy writing anymore, and that bums me out.

If we're honest, though, it's probably the fact that everything else in life is so complicated and stressful these days, and it's bleeding over into my writing. But I wish I could internalize that and know that it'll get better. But that's easier said than done.


Anyhow, if you have any tips for keeping my life together (duct tape?) or getting the motivation to finish this godforsaken chapter (please?), let me know! And, as always, thank you for reading!

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I don't know that drinking with me will help either of those things, but it's always an option. :P

No, seriously - all the hugs. :hug:  It's such a shit situation. I'm sending all the positive vibes I have to you guys, and FWIW, I think you're doing really well with a really bad hand. ❤️

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Noelle Zingarella


I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a rough time! I'm sending you positive vibes too. I think that moving is one of the most stressful things in the world (not to mention all the other difficulties you mentioned). I hope that after you are settled in a new place some of the smoke will clear. 

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I get you 100%! My new chapter seven (which you just read) took me literally years to write. It wasn't that I didn't know what I wanted to happen in this chapter because I very much did I just couldn't get he words to flow. Sometimes I would rewatch the sixth, seventh, and eighth movies to get me into the groove or at least get back into the character. 

As for real life, I'm sorry that it's been an absolute drag. I really hope things pick up on the job front for you and hopefully you find a new even better place to live.

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Sending you lots of hugs, Emily! I don't know that I have any information to help you, but I believe in your ability to do it. ❤️❤️❤️

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