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mental health.

grumpy cat


since may is mental health awareness month i thought i'd finally open up about my own mental health(?). fyi, i was never officially diagnosed with...anything. and i won't self-diagnose.

i started writing this blog entry and wrote...idk maybe 200 words of my story and then i deleted everything because i couldn't post it. i guess it's still too personal and painful for me. so i'll just write some really tiny bits that i feel fine with posting.

at one point in my life, i talked to a psychologist who told me there was nothing wrong with me, that i was a narcissist and an attention seeker. (here's hoping she was wrong.)

at this point in my life, i'm literally lucky to be alive. (here's hoping it stays that way.)

where i live, mental health still isn't a topic i would be comfortable discussing, even with my own family. obviously, i'm not completely comfortable discussing it online, either. but i'm trying.

i've been on TDA for ten years and often i would tell people how it's an escape from RL for me. and it was/is. it's the same thing with HPFT even though i've only been here for a year. though no one quite knows how much it means for me to be able to lose myself in other worlds via books, or fanfics or graphics or computer games, but it means...a lot. (i'm sure it's similar to how a lot of people feel.)

so here's my tiny contribution to making discussions about mental health...if not comfortable then at least more manageable. :shrugs:

even this was hard for me to actually click on 'submit entry'

also, i like to talk to my cats. so, there. a bit of humour :P

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Noelle Zingarella


Congratulations on hitting post. It is so hard to talk about this sort of thing--but not talking tends to make us feel more alone. I'd say there are a lot of us on this site that cope with metal health issues every day, so you're in good company. (Or at least understanding company 🙂 )

:hug: Sending you hugs.


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:hug:I'm really glad you were able to get yourself to hit post. Talking about this stuff isn't easy, and we all do it at the pace/detail that works best for us. There's nothing wrong with that at all. (Also, the psychologist who called you a narcissist/attention seeker was a jerk, and was definitely wrong.)

This also isn't like some magic cure or anything to mental health issues, but I just want to say that you've been one of my favorite people in the TDA/HPFT/etc community since I first became a section mod in your section of TDA, like... 5ish years ago. I love your artwork (and writing, of what I've been able to read!), you always come off as approachable and encouraging, your empathy toward me during a really stressful time last year made a huge, huge difference, and I continue to be so thrilled that you've gotten involved over here, too.

Again, I know that words don't make the issues in our brains better, but I wanted to say them anyway. I'm really glad you're alive, and I also really hope it stays that way. 💚💚  Thank you for being you, and thank you for sharing this.

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Oof, I actually understand what you're going through. It's weird limbo to be in, to know that you're most certainly struggling, but not be able to put a name to it for fear of trivializing others. It's a hard line to walk. HPFT and previously, HPFF used to be my safe spaces, by which I mean that I didn't have to deal with anything I didn't want to. I'm glad you're posting this online though, because for the longest time I thought I was the only one who felt like this, because all of my friends are either doing good, or they've put a name to what they're struggling with and actively trying to get better. There's never been an in between for people like me. And I guess, now you too?

(And that psychologist? Actually horrible. They're meant to help you figure your life out, and diagnose you if you have it and are licensed to do so. They're definitely not meant to discourage you. I hope you have better luck if you decide you want to try again. Or, if you're already trying again.)

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