Jump to content

Welcome to HPFT

We are a multi-fandom/original fiction community with roots in the Harry Potter fandom community. We strive to maintain a strong focus on author feedback and inclusive writing. Here on the forums, you can join a house and participate in House Cup events, participate in writing challenges, play games, and much more!

Join the Forums

Check out the Archives

HPFT has a moderated multi-fandom/original fiction archive with an unlimited queue. There you can post your writing, as well as read and review other members' writing. Be sure to stop by and check out our latest featured stories!

Join the Archives

Find us on Social Media

HPFT is active on social media. You can find us and many members busily tweeting on Twitter, join us for livestreams on YouTube, check out aesthetics on Instagram, get sneak peeks on Snapchat, and interact on Tumblr! All our social media links can be found below.

News Ticker
  • Check out the Staff Blog for the results of this year's FROGS Awards!
  • Join the spring writing event!
  • Check out our new discord server!
  • Yearly house awards are underway!
WriteYourHeartOut

Squee-Worthy Reviews!

Recommended Posts

sibilant
Quote

OMG. This was so good. Just kill me now. And I just loved Neville's guilt, and fear: "I don't like hospital food."
"I don't like hospital food." So poignant, so . . . "I don't like hospital food."

You're side of it, I never thought of it that way. How Neville could be so afraid of the Cruciatus curse, and I feel stupid because of that.
And Seamus .... Lord give me strength. THERE ARE TEARS IN MY EYES.

And Neville's half-assed letters. "Dear Seamus, I'm a ...." Just ... I really liked it.

And Neville's children. I like how you imagine the and their REACTIONS. Like, can I, can I cry? (I'm already doing it)

This is A MASTERPIECE!

And I've read "The Things they Carried." Thank you. Please continue this fic, so I can cry some more.

I got this from RisaKap at AO3 a couple days ago! :) Aside from the whole masterpiece comment, which was like WOW. Really? :wub:, I loved that the reviewer picked up on some of the most important parts of the fic, imo, because I was very concerned that it wasn't that coherent? So to know that I'd clearly developed my idea and left an emotional impact was really exciting. :D 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Crimson Quill

So, I've been getting some amazing reviews for Parisian Scars. I'm overwhelmed with some of the comments (& comments that I never thought people would ever say about my writing) . I guess I wanted to show how much it means to me!! Some ones that really stand out and basically had me in tears! 

from forever_dreaming

Quote

This whole fic, to me, is a masterpiece in description and emotion. You were able to accurately portray all of these emotions without being over the top, which to me is stunning. Well done!! ❤️

from Claire Evergreen

Quote

this is absolutely amazing. I'm a complete sucker for a really well done Lavender/Parvati story and this is one of those by a mile. I honestly don't believe that you don't write angst very much because this is some of the best I've ever read.

from Felpata Lupin

Quote

Your writing was just stunning in this! So heartfelt and strong and addictive! You really are talented, such a wonderful job! I'm so impressed!

from AbraxanUnicorn

Quote

I absolutely adore the succinct clarity of this story and how evocative  your writing is. It's such a gorgeous piece, and I think it is my favourite out of all of your stories that I've read.

 

Thank you so much for everyone who supported this story & love you all!

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

BellaLestrange87

I've been really bad at checking my reviews on the archive lately :ninja: but I finally did and this one from Penelope Inkwell on Of Balls and Blood Status made my day:

Quote

Right after breakfast was Transfiguration,, which they had with the Slytherins, mainly for dramatic purposes to stir up tension.

--it's so hard to choose, but this is the standout for my favorite line.

THE SNARK!  BAhahahaha!

So I saw your story on the September Featured Stories list on HPFT and I wanted to come check it out.  As soon as I saw that it was a parody, I was in.  And OH my gosh, can I just say - I got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, work has been a pain, and I have been in a Bad Mood all day, till I stumbled across this on my lunch break.  But I feel so much better now?  This made me laugh and just kind of launched me into a better mood :)  I have high hopes that my day is going to turn around, and this is definitely part of that.  So first of all, just, thank you for making me laugh.  I sooo needed it.

So, I'll admit it, it's true - I am a Dramione fan.  And, as such, I have suffered through a great many, erm, shall we say "less developed" stories featuring so many of the tropes you've mentioned in this, so I spent the whole time in stitches because it's all so true so much of the time.  I love those slow burns that you mention but, alas, all too often we do have all of the above instead.  Ugh, and the "Hermione is secretly a Pureblood" trope--I'm so glad that you worked that one in because that is the worst!

Oh my gosh, just everything - school events being announced in the Daily Prophet, Harry and Ron mysteriously and conveniently disappearing, school events that make very little sense in the greater context and are clearly only in the story to create a ~dramatic romantic moment~ .  This was so amusing and I just had a great time reading it :').  Thanks again!

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Stella Blue

I received a number of lovely reviews on Icarus from Dojh167, forever_dreaming, and just.a.willow.tree during the winter wonderland (thank you all :wub: ), and as I'm finally making my way through responding to them I just can't stop re-reading this particularly lovely one (from @forever_dreaming). It's such an insightful review, and the amount of thought and analysis she's putting into the chapter and into the story as a whole just blows me away.  Thank you Shreya :wub:

Quote

Not gonna lie, I’m a pretty big fan of bad puns so this chapter summary excited me a little hahaha :D

 

I loved that the atrium in the Ministry has a Sphinx in the fountain and not House Elves or centaurs; I know that the latter has always been perceived as a way of asserting wizardkind’s dominance, and to me, the Sphinx seems like a symbol of curiosity and questioning and definitely not dominance because puny wizards could easily get crushed by a freaking giant lion-cat-whatever creature. I think this was a really cool choice! I also really liked the two lines for Muggles and wizards—and found it curious that Lily didn’t like it! I could understand why she liked the Sphinx because she has sort of a social-justice-bent (or perhaps I’m projecting myself on her?) but that is curious to me. I like this alternate world that you’ve built where the Wizarding World actually seems to have progressed so much more. Where it actually has progressed remains to be seen, though.

 

So this was actually a rather emotional chapter to read, probably because we started to see how Lily’s relationships have changed as a consequence of the alternate universe. I loved how each character’s alternate life still srawns upon fundamental parts of their personality—like, James as working in the Department of Magical Sports and Games really does make sense given his prankster personality, and on a sadder note, it’s not too surprising that Marta ends up getting into a bad situation. That especially was so sad to read because it seems like her mischief and tendency to get into bad situations has now become a true vice for her. 

 

That leads me to my next point. I really like the tonal shift that happened in this chapter, sort of starting in the previous chapter. I can see a little more seriousness, still balanced with a fair amount of humor, but now I feel kind of guilty for laughing? Like Lily’s last comment to Marta made me laugh—but also made me sad because I could see how desperate she was to convince Marta to be friends with her. 

 

This chapter really delved into what I can already tell is one of the central questions of the work, the question of who we would be if something went different, and how much we are shaped by our environment. As far as I can tell, Lance’s personality and Marta’s personality are not so wholly different in the alternate universe than in Lily’s universe—it seems like only their situations have changed. But I have to wonder what effect this change in situation would have on other characters. For example, Harry: he probably grew up with James and Lily, so his personality may be completely different as a result. 

 

There are lots of other things I want to mention but I’m cutting it off here so I can keep reading. I just wanted to say on a closing note that I appreciate the complexity of thought put into imagining this new alternate universe because it isn’t completely baseless, being pulled out of thin air; I love how you’re taking existing qualities of the Wizarding World and of the characters and warping them into something not familiar—different but recognizable at the same time. This is such a creative story and I’m really glad I finally started reading it, because it is such a compelling story too! 

 

Wonderful chapter, as always <3 

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Shadowkat678

Gotta choose this one from Words and Silences that @Pixileanin wrote. They took a long time on this, and the sheer length makes me pretty happy. Longest I've received yet, and let's face it. We all love big reviews. xD 

Quote

 

Hi!  I apologize for the delay of this review, but I'm here now. Let's get to it!

Our fics have a lot in common, but then when you're writing  a “Sirius stuck in Azkaban reflecting on his life while the Dementors suck away at his soul” piece, there are bound to be similarities, right? :)  I'm sure that many authors have explored this same subject.  I wonder what we would encounter if we sat down and put all of them together in a big collection.  Probably a lot of tears and agony, I'd guess.  

The way you framed the story for each challenge was great.  Sirius’ phobia of being alone came through loud and clear, with the recurring echoes of the conflicting theme of wanting to escape the ties to his family.  I love how your two focal points of this fic clash with each other.  It makes for a strong emotional ride. Sirius needs people, but wants nothing to do with the people that he is closest to.  When he leaves them, he has all kinds of niggling fears about not being accepted anywhere else.  It puts his character’s show of bravado into clear perspective. Like he's saying, “No, I'm good.  I can handle whatever you throw at me.  I'm strong enough to deal with my secrets alone, and I don't really NEED anyone to comfort me.”

But we know he does.  Part of the way you portrayed his fear was in his constant reluctance to let people see his weaknesses.  It's that very human trait in all of us: thinking that other people will reject us if they see us at our worst.  This makes your Sirius highly relatable.  I'm sure we've all been there.  The hug from James was a poignant moment.

The small light you give him when he realizes that his friends are really true friends is a much needed lift.  It comes at just the right time, that glimmer of hope for him, and a much needed anticipation for the reader that things may not be all that bad.  This gives him the strength he needs to make that final break with his family, and he takes it.

The way he lashes out at Snape when his friend is in jeopardy, I think you made his reasoning for this very understandable.  It hints at wanting to protect his friend, but we all know how wrong it was, on the grander scale.  The poor guy just wasn't thinking rationally.  It's when his emotions get him into big trouble, and he pays for it.  I especially like how you put his relationship with Remus into jeopardy after he told Snape about the secret.  It.puts him into a tailspin of doubt, his focal point of failure, and gosh, it affects them for a long, long while.  Sirius realizes that he's hurt the people closest to him, and they have every reason to reject him now.

That's a fantastic moment for him to obsess over when he's alone and at his worst.  I can see how he would think on it over again and again, convincing himself that he's not worthy, that he's never going to escape who he was born to be, and that everything he tried to do that was good in the world failed because of some wicked fate that he could never escape what he was meant to be.  

I like how your writing has that obsessive repetition of words, the way someone would just think and think in circles.  It's like he's pacing in his cell, the mental version of being trapped.  You pull that off so well.  Also, the circular nature of the fic lets us get that feeling that he's going to torture himself over and over with all of these thoughts.  He's going to relive these moments over and over and be bitter and alone and afraid.  And the worst part will be that he thinks he deserves all of this.

Really well done here.  I think you've nailed this.

Pix

 

A few other honorable mentions:

@manno-malfoy on Cost of Redemption:

Quote

 

Hello, I'm here for the winter wonderland event.

I always anticipate so much heartbreak when I'm going to read a story about Regulus. But this was perhaps the most brutal out of all the ones I read. Never have I read one where he was on the battlefield, all these realisations and conflicts hitting him and confusing him. I especially appreciated the scene where he started to vomit when a body was blasted near him. It's so, so easy to forget sometimes that these characters were forced to fight a war that's so much bigger than them at such a young age. And while this is the prime age by being indoctrinated by agendas and promises of power and glory, it doesn't change the fact that they're too young for such a burden. And this detail might seem too trivial, but it spoke volumes to me about how Regulus was taken by how this was too much for him to take.

Your writing style is beautiful. It's flows so smoothly but also grim enough to suit the theme of the story. So well done with that!

I think that as long as you have sympathy, there is always hope. If the pain someone is experiencing can have an effect on you, you still have a chance to make progress towards maybe, someday, taking action to save them or at least attempt to alleviate their pain. Which is why I'm looking forward to see what you have in store for Regulus's journey to redemption.

 

And last to not make this too long, @LadyL8's lovely review on Brother's Blood. :D

Quote

 

Hey Kat,

It's me again. I'm still here for the Winter Wonderland Event. And you know what, I think remember this story! It's the Albus/Gellert story, right?! I'm pretty sure I'm right. I remember I loved this one. It was one of my favourite short one-shots if I recall correctly, and it was just one that I thought about long after I read it. Yeah, I definitely remember this, and I just can't wait to read it again. So yeah, let's stop talking and get right to it.

Omg. Yes! It is the Albus/Gellert story! And it's in second person's perspective! I couldn't remember that, but I absolutely love it. It's probably my all-time favourite perspectives because if it's done right, it has such a powerful effect. It really makes it feel like the reader is a part of the story, and I absolutely love that. It's not an easy perspective to pull off though, but you absolutely nailed it. It was perfect. Really, really perfect! I loved it!

I love how the narrator is almost telling Albus off, and because of the perspective, it kind of feels like we are too. I'm not the biggest Albus fan, so I have to admit that I really liked that :P But yeah, I felt like I could almost feel the anger/resentment in the tone of the story, but surprisingly enough, it kind of made me understand Albus better too. He was stupid in some ways, falling for Gellert and only realizing too late what Gellert really was doing to his family and to the wizarding world. And it was interesting to see you connect that to what later happened to Voldemort. I had never thought about that before, but in a way he does make the same mistake, not the falling in love part of course, but he believes he can change things and doesn't realize until too late that he can't; he fails to see what Voldemort really is like, just like he failed to see what Gellert was like. I had never thought about that before, but that was a really cool connection. Just very interesting.

I'm really impressed by how much you got across in about 500 words. If I remember correctly this was for the "Every Word Counts Challenge", and that is actually one of my all-time favourite challenges because it really challenges the writers and the results almost always ended up being the author's best work. This was no exception to that. I absolutely loved it. You really nailed it. I really felt like I could understand Albus better, and you're writing is just flawless. I love the tone and the flow of the story! Just amazing. Great job! :D

-       Lotte

 

 

Edited by Shadowkat678
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Veritaserum27

I got this little gem on my AO3 account.  I'm just smiling like an idiot at the fact that someone searched so long and hard to find my story! (spoiler tags used by me because the reviewer mentions quite a few plot twists :P)

 

Quote

All in all, I just wrote a super huge review back in HPFF and accidentally pressed refresh and everything disappeared... Then I wrote a second review and found out that reviews are disabled... Then I tried to find you as an author in HPFF, but all I saw were dead-ends. Then I googled your nickname and finally found you here! (Yey!!) And I see that my only question of where you'll be headed after HPFF is answered! (Double-Yey!!) But anyway... wanted to express my deepest gratitude for this story, which has been one of the most realistic and down-to-earth and with a cool, intrigue-filled plot and deep joy and deep sadness, all in one. It's one of my favourites for sure! And it's because it makes me excited (for example, when a new clue is unlocked in Scorpius' parents mistery), sad

Spoiler

(you cannot imagine how sad I felt when Selenia died)

, frustrated

Spoiler

(when Scorpius withdrew in himself during the last months of Rose's pregnancy)

, deeply rattled

Spoiler

(when you describe how bored and left out Rose feels when sitting home alone with her baby)

. In short - super cool story and I would be extremely happy to see the end of it :) Thank you for this!

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

down-in-flames

I just woke up to this little gem on my FF.net account, and it just... asdfghjkl;  :wub:

Quote

Oh my god, I can't even... this story is SO AMAZING! I just spent like half the day reading this instead of doing the like 18 other things I should be doing because I just couldn't put it down! There's so much I adore in it that there's no way I'll get it all down, but I'll give you some things I absolutely love.

1. Abby is so realistic. That's possibly my favorite part. She's a wonderful narrator, and the reader sees that she's not perfect but she's human and we love her. It would be so easy to make her into a character that the reader hates from where she starts, but even in the early chapters, I didn't dislike her. She was self-aware, and trying to create the life that she thought she should have and would make her happy. And she changes and develops, and it doesn't feel forced or unnatural at all. Which leads me to... 
2. The development of her relationship with James feels natural. So often I feel like it's way too forced or rushed or back and forth and I get sick of it, but this is so good on every level. I adore it. And James has a personality of his own - he's not just some one-dimensional ideal boy, or some ridiculous prankster. Sure he's cute and funny, but he also has struggles and insecurities, and you make him feel like a real person, especially the more that Abby gets to know him.
3. Your side characters and OC are amazing and perfect. They're so well developed that despite having a huge cast, I know who all of them are and they all feel like real, fully developed people to me. The fact that I can keep all of them and their relationships and backgrounds straight despite the number of them is a testament to your writing and world building abilities.
4. I LOVE that Abby and James aren't sure what they want out of life and are trying to figure it out. That's what most 17/18 year olds are like. (Also, props for having careers that aren't just quidditch player/auror/healer)
5. One of my very favorite things are the female friendships in this. I basically can't read stories anymore that don't have well developed female friendships. Nobody has time for that. But from the very start you had me sold. First with the Royals, and then Dom (and Amelie and Molly), and Caroline. I cannot emphasize enough how much I appreciate how fully you've developed their friendships, and that we see them create these relationships and develop them (and even when they're destroyed, it feels real, and you don't feel like it's overdone or that it's just being brushed off). 

I just...! I cannot say enough good things about this. I LOVE it! Thank you so much for posting, and I'm SO glad I finally read this!

 

 

And then there's this one from the HPFT Archives that just... it's probably the best compliment I could've received on this story?

Quote

Abby has got to be one of my favourite OCs ever. She sort of reminds me of Blair Waldorf, but if Blair had actually learned from all her mistakes. Abby has grown so much throughout this story and I can’t wait to see where she goes next. 

 

 

So all in all, I'm a squee-ing mess this morning. :loveshower:

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

just.a.willow.tree

Okay okay so my poem ("an absence of sound") just got validated, and @forever_dreaming (who is an absolute angel) left me this beautiful review, and she understood everything on such a personal level that I was just so emotional reading this :wub: thank you Shreya <3

Quote

Hi Eva <3 I decided I’d end the tortuous wait for you and finally let you know what I thought of this poem (spoiler alert: I loved it. It might be one of my favorite poems I’ve ever read, honestly—and as you know, I read a lot of poetry!).

This poem made me emotional because it really echoed my experience as an immigrant in America (which I’m sure is similar to your experience and the experience of many other immigrants). I’ve always felt that I have a tenuous connection to India, where it is irrevocably a part of me and still fading constantly. I loved the omission of letters as a depiction of that process, where only pieces of my history remain and I’m left to try to make sense of it all. From the first stanza, I felt that you really echoed this sentiment, describing how the memory, the ancestry, the connection is “there just there right there” yet at the same time it’s just “translucent wisps”.

Because I moved to America when I was really young, I’ve always felt like every day, I lose my connection to India. I watch Bollywood films to remind myself of this beautiful part of myself that seems to fade away every day. The phrasing “translucent wisps” really feels like such an accurate depiction of that feeling. That’s also why the line “when a tongue loses its mind and its memory and its heart” struck me so much, because I feel like that’s what’s happening to me. Nowadays, I have to watch Bollywood films with English subtitles because the words have become unfamiliar. My tongue has lost that memory; I’m shy when I speak Hindi because the words don’t sound right. I never thought I’d sound like a white person trying to speak Hindi, but that’s exactly what it feels like; I’ve never experienced a sense of displacement that strong before. 

I think one thing about Indian and Chinese cultures is the foundation and emphasis on family as the central unit in a person’s life. I don’t know if you’ve ever felt this way, but I feel so distanced from my family in India, like they’re actually complete strangers to me; the line “who are you when you cannot understand your family” made me so emotional. My family now feels more like a set of strangers to me, people that I have vague recollections of, but no real connection to, and it’s a little heartbreaking. The simplicity of that statement really emphasized how heartbreaking this feeling is. 

When i I read the last two stanzas, I considered my own silence about my experience as an Indian immigrant. My Hindi voice has been shut away for so long, so the speaker questioning why they don’t say anything really struck me. But in another sense, the line “why do you not speak it” also made me think about why I don’t tell other people about what it’s like to be an immigrant. Why I speak softly because even now, I’m hesitant about my spoken English (I hate saying words that start with “w” and “v”; my tongue wasn’t shaped to say those letters). 

I also thought of those stanzas from a historical perspective too, which is why I imagine this must’ve been really personal for you too. I thought of how Chinese immigrants coming to America were also initially silent—not only in being quiet, but also hiding their identities and their histories. And then I thought about Chinese immigrants working on the railroads, of all the deaths (this is where it being Asian Pacific-American Heritage month really influenced my reading). The omission of some letters now feels like an aftereffect of the dynamite, blasting away pieces of their histories, their identities. 

My favorite stanza is easily the last one though. It is simple and raw; I’m awestruck by your vulnerability in this piece, because I know it’s not easy to leave so much bare—especially with our tradition of silence. Reading this from a personal and historical perspective, I have so much to think about and feel. This did exactly what any good poem should do; it took a feeling that’s always felt so intangible and invisible and made it tangible and comprehensible. Thank you so much for writing such a wonderful piece. <3 

P.S. I don’t know if I mentioned this to you before, but you should really read Maxine Hong Kingston’s “The Woman Warrior.” This piece reminded me a bit of it, and I think it’ll really touch you. 

P.P.S. I hope my review was worth the wait? :P

<3

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

teh tarik

In the past year I've received some pretty amazing squee-worthy comments for my fics from AO3.

Most recently, from allypsis for my fic The House and the Sea

Quote

 

This was the most amazing fic. I had been a little nervous to dip my toes into the Siren fic pond, but I'm glad my first was such a wonderful raddie fic. You really understand this pairing. "It would have been easy to say yes. But Maddie tried patience instead."<--That right there, that is what has made the emotional bonding between Ryn and Maddie develop so beautifully, and you captured it, and Maddie's essence, in two sentences.

I also loved the way you included scenes between Maddie and her father and Maddie and Helen. I just love this fic. Thank you so much for writing it.

 

 

From MimeticEternity on my fic, The King & M'Baku

Quote

 

This fic is absolutely *stunning*. I started reading it a couple of days ago, and then I finished it yesterday, and I came back today to comment.

The characterization is absolutely *flawless*, especially with M'Baku. What I appreciated the most was how beautifully you captured his wit, intelligence, and that blessed humor.

 

"M’Baku gestured at his king on the cart. “Look, great Hanuman. I found him in the river - the King of Cats. He drowns like one too.” "-> this is the exact moment I knew I was going to absolutely love this fic, and that I had found something special. I literally barked with laughter when I read that line, and I think about it often because it's so funny.

 

"His skin sheened with sweat or ice, the magnetic purple of the Heart-Shaped Herb radiating across the veins of his neck and chest and face, pulsing with his heartbeat. M’Baku did not go near the King. T’Challa had snow in his hair."

This line, that whole paragraph was so beautifully written, but that last sentence especially stuck out to me. It was jarring, this seemingly random observation of snow in T'Challa's hair, and I *love* it. I love that you drew attention to the fact that M'Baku is noticing these small things.

 

"“Tell me,” said T’Challa, “how did you find me?”

“If I had lost you, then you wouldn’t be right here under my nose, intruding in my lands.”" -> Another wonderful wonderful example of how you wrote M'Baku's quick wit and sharp humor, god I LOVE this.

 

I also deeply enjoyed how you wrote Hanuman. You gave them a personality and presence that truly embodied what I imagined the god of the Jabari would be like. You also have an incredible talent for description without being superfluous. You bring the setting of the Jabari homeland, and the experience of interacting with Hanuman to life in a way that doesn't sacrifice the flow of words, the feeling of the story. I remember this line very specifically because of how unique it was:

"Hanuman snorted. The treetops shuddered and a sudden gust of air blew past M’Baku. It smelled sickly like fermenting melon, like the clammy growth of mushrooms." -> I don't even think I can put into words why I love this line so much, or why it got stuck in my head, but it is wonderful.

 

Your writing is a perfect example of the oft repeated advice "Show, don't tell." I don't think I've ever had the honor of reading a piece that embodies that more. You show, through delightfully descriptive language, and through amazingly in-character actions and dialogue, what everyone is feeling, and I feel awed and honored that you shared this piece with us.

 

Finally, that last scene, the dream sequence, took my breath away.

"The thunder that M’Baku heard was not from the plunging falls but the cries of all the peoples, and M’Baku’s voice was in the midst of the clamour, shouting for his King, for T’Challa! T’Challa! T’Challa !" -> This quite literally left me reeling. I gasped and flailed because my god, M'Baku acknowledges T'Challa as his king, and there could not have been a more beautiful way of acknowledging that than through this dream sequence that is, quite honestly, something I would pay to see in theaters. I would pay to see this entire fic in film form, but I don't think any film would ever be able to fully capture the magical, mystical aura and atmosphere that permeates every word and scene.

The description of Hanuman's legend right before the last dream sequence is also equally beautiful. You have such an incredible gift for storytelling.

Thank you so so much for writing this phenomenal piece and sharing it with us! Much love! <3 <3 <3

 

 

And this is a much older comment, but it's stuck with me for the past year. From bpositive for my fic Into the Calm
 

Quote


This is honest one of the best fics I've ever read. The way you write is just.. wonderful and full of life and believable and I'm going to check after I comment if you're a published author because you should be. Thanks for writing this!!

 

 

I guess all of the above and more are the reasons I'm still writing. *sobs tears of gratitude* (couldn't find appropriate emoji...) *more sobbing*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Alopex

So. I haven't really written anything in years, and I deleted my HPFF account over two years ago. However, earlier this month when my mom was visiting me, she asked me to look up if I still had some document--which I did. But I also found the flashdrive on which I had all my writing stored. That was the impetus I needed to start uploading this stuff. When HPFT opened its archives, I originally thought I wouldn't upload anything, because all my material is so old, but when I started reading through everything, I realized I have several pieces I'm actually proud of (and some that will never see the light of day again).

@ReillyJade just left me a review that absolutely made my day. It feels so good to have someone be affected by the emotion you're trying to convey and to notice things in your story that you worked hard to get a certain way or to include for a certain purpose.

... I didn't need my heart, anyway. Thanks for that. ?

But, in all honesty, this was a truly lovely piece, however heartbreaking. The imagery in it is wonderful. I could very easily visualize Neville's garden, the chaos and beauty of it all. I love that he built a fountain without magic; that seems like a very Neville thing to do. Some things are worth the extra time and effort, and for Neville, his garden would obviously deserve that special attention. I also think it's very in-character for him to grow and keep non-magical plants, such as the African violets. The fact that he took the time to care for plants that served no purpose other than being pretty exemplified his true passion for herbology and gardening; to him, it was more than his job.

And Hannah... oh, poor, sweet Hannah. Her grief was pouring out of my screen. The way you intergrated all of her memories with Neville felt very organic and unforced. I especially love her reflections on watching him work, how she memorized his movements, the way his hair moved in the wind... gah, it was just lovely. (And sad, obviously.) The bit about the charm on the chair dying with him shattered my heart into a million pieces.

I really appreciate how sensitively you handled Hannah's guilt surrounding Neville's death. It's something everyone experiences when losing a loved one. We think of what we could have done, the things we missed, etc. Perhaps I'm reading too much into things, but Hannah giving the Ministry man the African violet felt symbolic of Hannah's remorse. She'd done wrong by not healing Neville properly, so she wasn't worthy of something so beautiful of his. (But, then again, I have a habit of looking for symbolism and metaphors. They're my favorite lol.)

You did a really decent job with not using any dialogue until the very end. It's super hard to do; I know from experience. I applaud you for doing it some effectively; it made the dialogue all the more powerful.

This was a wonderful read. Well done!

Cheers,
Reilly

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Recent Badges

down-in-flames

someone posted this comment on ao3 literally less than 30 minutes after I'd published the story and y'all i read the first sentence and actually thought i was gonna cry on the metro.

Quote

(*edited for language*)

OH MY GOD. I AM TELLING YOU THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS IVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE AND I DONT KNOW YOU BUT IM SO PROUD OF YOU AND EFFING HELL, YOU'RE SO TALENTED IM IN AWE.

"The referee throws a yellow flag at Sirius, and the conversation is essentially terminated by Remus’s impassioned shouting of, “The other team did that two minutes ago, where’s their effing flag!?”

I don't even ship Wolfstar but this is definitely something that they would do and it made the fangirl in me squeal. 

"She turns on her heel and walks down the hall, but not before she notices James out of the corner of her eye, stopped in his tracks, having clearly overheard their entire conversation."

asjdhakjsdhajHJHSADUAS I CANT EVEN. THE FEELINGS. THE ATMOSPHERE. 

You should know that I don't even like TATBILB that much (I'm sorry!) but you've written it well, better than the books and IM JUST IN AWE AND I JUST WOW 

THANK YOU FOR THIS

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

magemadi

Hi so I requested a review from Abby (@Chemical_Pixie) and it literally made me cry (tears of happiness) on my OF piece, but like, she's so NICE AND LOVELY about the whole thing!! I just literally cried again when reading it :wub: 

Quote

Initial thoughts: forests, tea, and magic are three of my favorite things. I'm instantly intrigued about this story!

Your opening description is beautiful. This forest cottage is a place I would very much like to visit, even if I couldn't remember visiting it afterwards. There is a cerain mysteriousness to this cottage, which opens a lot of questions. How did the cottage come to be? Why is this dweller living alone? Why does she make tea for the travelers? Why can't travelers remember their visits?

These questions drive me, the reader, to continue reading.

Then you spring into action with an actual visitor--except this visitor isn't a lost hiker, and she can clearly remember meeting Amaryllis, since they're friends (is this something you want to clarify in the future? I gather that this is a snippet of a greater work--but more on that later). You show great characterization of the women based on their interactions with one another: giving treats and making tea and sitting down together.

Your dialogue then does take the focus of the piece, but you still layer in enough description that the story continues to flow with your vividly painted images. Your dialogue also opens the avenue to even more questions: potioneer/chemist patents? PhD programs in a world of magic? Vet school? Amaryllis' parents' deaths? You sprinkle in these tidbits of information, setting up a more complex narrative, which seems bigger than the small cottage where this story takes place. And I think this is a strong point of your piece. I get the sense that this is only an introductory snippet of a bigger idea--and how fitting to have the setting in a cottage! I am so interested in this world you've built and where your characters are going to go.

Speaking of characters, I think you do a great job at Amaryllis' and Eirraphe's characterization. The way you show the sassiness of Eirraphe through his interaction with Myrcella and how loyal he is to Amaryllis through his affectionate interactions with her is amazing--I'm reminded of a cat, and I love cats, and so therefore, I can relate my love of cats to this dragon, and I love him. Amaryllis seems to be such a caring person--why else would she make so many people tea? She gives so much--and yet is hesitant to take, like when she turns on Myr's offer to fund her vet school (at least, that's what I assume her offer is). She has pride in wanting to support herself, which is so relatable. But then, at the end, your closing sentence on "maybe one day..." makes me reconsider her pride. Sure, she may have it, but I also sense she may be scared to leave her cottage. After all, this is her safe space, and she has gone through a major loss with the death of her parents. I totally understand the desire to feel safe after such an upheaval. Having your MC have these vulnerabilies makes her likeable and draws the reader further into your tale.

Overall, well done, Madi! You should be proud of what you've accomplished in this piece. Don't give up on this; I'm so curious to see where this goes!

 

  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

down-in-flames

i have gotten the absolute most hilariously amazing comments on my political jily fic on both tumblr and ao3, so i'm doing a massive dump of them here so i can squee all  over again ?

Quote

I WOULD GIVE 550505 CIGARETTES FOR THIS FIC IN JAIL

 
Quote

I have no idea how a perfect encapsulation of everything that bothers me about the DC metro and WMATA ended up in a jily fic but I AM LIVING FOR IT

 
Quote

CAN THIS FIC BE MY LIFE??? AHHH. I LOVE EVERY PART OF IT AND WILL PROBABLY BE INTERNALLY SCREAMING ABOUT IT FOR THE NEXT DECADE.

 
Quote

Um I LOVE THIS. I'm a political staffer and thank you for the most realistic politics AU I've ever read in fanfic. Usually I can't stand them for how inaccurate they are but this is fantastic.

 
Quote

Can I quote you like? At length???? Because this fic is the best thing in the world

*large chunk of quotes from  the story*

LIKE ALSDKJFA;SLDKJF;ALSKDJF;ASKLDFJ
THIS FIC
WAS ALL MY HOPES AND DREAMS FOR FIC
ROLLED TOGETHER INTO ONE STUNNING FIC

AND EVERYTHING THAT YOU SAID ABOUT WMATA

THE LINE ABOUT HTE RED LINE BEING THE ONE THAT CATCHES ON FIRE ALL THE TIME
I LITERALLY CHOKED ON MY TEA LAUGHING ABOUT THAT

YOU ARE STUNNING AND BRILLIANT AND I CAN'T WAIT TO READ EVERYTHING ELSE YOU'VE EVER WRITTEN

 
Quote

Ugh, you make writing well look so effortless. This was just such a delight to read, and you captured James and Lily perfectly. I love me a focused, confident woman. And also a kind, confident man. You just made them work so well with each other, and you wove the other characters in beautifully too, even though we didn't get too much of them. Plus, President Minerva McGonagall????? If only the world were that lucky.

 

oh, and also this line from @facingthenorthwind's hpft archive review on the same story:

Quote

TAYLOR I AM GOING TO M E L T @ JAMES TELLING HER ALL ABOUT THE PRETTY GIRL. I AM MELTING. I AM THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST ALL UP IN HERE. I AM A TUB OF ICE CREAM YOU FORGOT IN THE CAR. I AM THE ICE LOLLY YOU BOUGHT AND THEN FOOLISHLY LEFT THE SHOP WITH AND THEN YOU IMMEDIATELY GOT BLASTED WITH FORTY-FIVE DEGREE HEAT AND NOW YOUR HANDS ARE STICKY AND THERE ARE NO PUBLIC TAPS. THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE REDUCED ME TO.

 

basically i have been screaming internally and giggling like a maniac for the past week so thank u internet

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

galadriel

Look at this incredibly thoughtful and amazing review @Aphoride left for me on my fic falling. :sad: :sad: i have no words to express how touched i am by this.

Quote

Hey there, Nim! Dropping by for your wishlist! You've been such a rockstar around the forums and in the cr and, well, pretty much everywhere so it seemed only right to leave something for you ;)

I loved this. It's heartbreaking and desperate and awful and so amazing. You have a real, real talent for making your words mean something more than just a definition, yk - when you write, it's always so emotional, so genuine and so real, and that comes through so strongly. You have such a powerful voice and I love it because it conveys everything so well and so beautifully and it gives everything you write that kind of x factor where a story takes hold of you and you feel it too. Most stories don't do that - they're fun, but they don't grab you like that - but yours do. 

On the topic of the story, I love that you used a boy to portray this whole issue: how Lysander isn't eating, how Hugo's the one watching him, wanting to make him, shout at him until he eats, how he wants to find some way to break Lysander out of the spiral he's trapped in. Male anorexia and eating disorders are so, so un-talked about and it's a real shame because they're more of a problem than I think people realise (as are so many other things). I love how Xeno knows but Lysander's parents don't really know (and, presumably, although he's not mentioned in this, Lorcan doesn't really know either), and they're trying but it's hard. The way you showed Lysander with his idiosyncrasies about how much he eats and what: the way he drinks exactly half of the orange juice, only the corners of the sandwiches, exactly four bites per sandwich... anorexia is such a psychological illness and I love how much you brought that through here. It's grim and it's addictive and it's just a normalised routine for Lysander - and becoming one for Hugo, too - and that's devastating. The normality of it all. 

I've always known you have a real knack for writing about difficult, emotive topics so well and so sensitively, and this really, really isn't any exception to that. 

Also, I gotta say, I'm blown away by how you did the alphabet challenge - with each sentence starting with a new letter of the alphabet. It's ridiculously hard and... well, I didn't even notice it as I was reading until I got to the end and realised there wasn't a second z (which I don't know if it was intentional, but I love it anyway: how the second rendition of the alphabet doesn't quite get finished; the sense of completion and incompletion) :P Your writing is always incredible - you have such a lovely style, so easy and so great to read - and I'm amazed at how you managed to get every sentence starting with the next letter of the alphabet, while still maintaining that same smooth, lyrical style. 

This is an amazing story and you're an amazing author and I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful holiday period and a great new year :)

:wub: :wub::wub: 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Recent Badges

aelaia

This beautiful review left for me by @Stella Blue on my Yaxbridge short story, in response to my wishlist has truly inspired me to write a follow-on fic. Any review that creates muse for me needs shouting about! ?? Thank you for being a beautiful soul and making this story for me!

Quote

Heyo! I'm here for your wishlist!

 

Omg this was such a fun fic - I've seen the body swapping idea in sci fi before, but have never read a fan fiction about it, and swapping two such drastically different characters is bound to result in chaos - as it did! What an entertaining idea.

 

So from the very beginning i was wondering how this swap even happened, but was willing to put my wondering aside to just go along for the ride and see where the story ended up. And all the office redecoration had me in stitches, no wonder nothing ever gets done at the Ministry. Other employees are totally walking by and thinking "ugh  i can't believe Yaxley is getting paid for this cat redecorating right now". XD

 

And Yaxley being so concerned with seeming manly and imposing, it's like the floor is swept out from underneath him when he has a girly voice. While it was really silly and amusing to see them both adjusting to this, I think this is also a very intelligent aspect of this fic, pointing out the inequity in how masculine and feminine people are percieved in the workplace. Like, Umbridge is so stoked that she can get things done now without even having to do any work simply because she is tall and has a powerful voice now, whereas it's a lot more difficult for Yaxley to get people to respect him and he has to make Runcorn find him some shoes because no one will listen to her on her own. Idk, for being a body swapping fanfiction about magic, there's some potent truths in there, haha.

 

And then just as it started to get really weird - and Yaxley was Umbridge who was Voldemort! - it was all a dream. I love that they were having the same dream XD The fact that it was just a dream explains the "how" of the swapping, and it also puts them in the position that they were in in the dream itself, in that they're both in on this weird event and no one else gets it. It would be like an inside joke if either of them were the type that appreciated jokes. Which... they aren't, (And if they were, I don't think they'd enjoy the same jokes.) But this is about as close as they can get to an inside joke, I guess XD

 

But I like that Yaxley got some perspective from all of this, and realized how difficult it is to be her. I'd honestly love to see how this changed things for them afterwards, it's such an interesting set up for a continuation! This was a fun story and you did a great job with it :)

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Recent Badges

grumpy cat

okay joey/ @crestwood made me cry a little bit at work today in front of my coworkers with this review on Nuclear Love and idk even what else to say, it's beautiful and i can't even

Quote

Hello Kristina, here to leave the review that you requested on the forums!

 

I, um, have a lot to say about this, I hope you don’t mind if I stray all over the place here.

 

So, the prose immediately struck me as excellent. Really, you pulled me in from the first line, because honestly who wouldn’t be interested to see where you’re going after that?

 

You’ve dropped us into a very complicated scene from the very beginning. A funeral for a Death Eater, attended by someone who is glad he’s dead. The family dynamic is clear from the very beginning, as you introduce it through small details that give us a pretty good idea of where these people stand. Especially with the line - “Alexander Greengrass did not stay alive through two wars by doing something as absurd as choosing a side” - I mean, what a way to introduce a character.

 

I’m very intrigued by the assortment of people attending the service, and also by the fact that Astoria’s mother is related to a Rosier! Pureblood families do tend to overlap that way, lol.

 

I love how aggressively Astoria despises Death Eaters. That’s also my headcanon, but you’ve place her in Gryffindor, which I don’t believe I’ve ever seen before. It fits in very well with the way you’ve written her and the idea that being a Lion, she likely would have seen a good amount of housemates die in the Battle of Hogwarts. The way she insists that it’d be cowardly to forget the memories that have made her stronger. (or so she tells herself.)

 

You write her first encounter with Draco so well, by the end of the first scene I’m already rooting for them to get together despite not particularly shipping them usually. Your Draco is a delight, you can feel the ways he’s changed already in only a few years, but there is still plenty of who he is still there. Frankly, I understand why she went ahead with it in the first place.

 

The idea of mood enhancing fog actually made up stand up and take a second because I was floored. I felt like I should have come up with that with all the stuff I invent, considering like eighty percent of scenes I write take place in bars or clubs. But alas, that’s your genius at work, not mine :P

 

I also had to take a little bit to go get a water and sit with my thoughts after I read “My friends are dead” - just a showstopper of a line. The vulnerability of that line and her admission of loneliness are exactly why this story works so well. She’s clearly in a bit of a state here and Draco is being such a good listener and he’s charming and it’s helped along by a bit of alcohol - both of the times they get together so far have felt earned and plausible.

 

Astoria’s dad being a crime lord is just incredible. It’s nice to see some shady stuff that isn’t directly linked to Voldemort because there’s SO much room for corruption and law-breaking when magic is involved. The fact that she launders his money is just kind of...awesome? I’d read a story just about how she got caught up in all of that.

 

(Also, her being friends with Colin is something that I simply never knew I needed but now love)

 

Once we’re to the point of Draco sending one-liners through owl post I’m ready for the wedding, I totally recognise this ‘just friends’ thing where one or both people are so obviously in denial and you’ve nailed it on the head. I can’t claim that I didn’t tear up when Draco told her about Teddy. I never seem to be able to remember that they are related but wow, my heart.

 

I like Daphne’s scene with Astoria because her reaction is extremely reasonable because honestly it would sound ridiculous from the outside looking in. If I hadn’t been privy to their interactions I’d tell Astoria to run far away as well, so I get it. I also get why Astoria completely tunes out her sister. That was a great bit of conflict in which no one is totally wrong and you can see where both parties are coming from.

 

Astoria totally strikes me as the sort of person that wouldn’t announce their birthday ahead of time. The way they finally start to discuss the elephant in the room - “Because then I’d have to demonstrate a level of self-control that I don’t possess” is just perfect. Couldn’t have been any better. Despite this being only a chapter long, you’ve taken us on quite a journey with these two and, as you asked about how believable the progression of their relationship is, I have to say, every moment felt ripped from a story one of my friends might have told me. It was so realistic that this is one of those stories that afterward, you’re left with a bit of a ‘Well, what now?’ feeling because you just want your friend to call you next week and fill you in on how things are going.

 

Astoria’s characterization is wildly unique and very consistent. When she admits that she is the one to have convinced her friends to stay and fight and harbors that guilt so deeply, everything that happened throughout the entire story clicked into place perfectly. It all fits together and it all makes so much sense. You’ve really crafted a protagonist that feels very much alive, in the best way possible.

 

I...can’t really praise you enough. This is FROGS worthy writing through and through and I can’t find it in me to criticise a thing here. The ending line alone is one of my favorite things I’ve read in so long - “I’m not letting you go. We’re going to be chaotic and messy and broken together” - I’m so glad it ended there. That is the prose equivalent of an exclamation point if I’ve ever seen one. I am so glad you requested this, this is exactly the kind of thing I hoped my thread would introduce me to. Such beautiful writing, I’m floored. I feel like I could go on even longer, but I’ll end this rambling mess here. Feel absolutely free to come back and request another review for anything at all!

 

Joey

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ReillyJade

About a week ago, Taylor/@ShadowRose left this beautiful review on June Bug that made me speechless. I was so humbled by her kind words and the fact that she enjoyed the story so much! Taylor, thank you a million times over! :wub:

(Put under the spoiler tag for... well, spoilers lol.)

Spoiler

Hi Reilly! I’m finally here with your requested review!

I think one of the coolest things about this piece is seeing Louis’ character development throughout the whole thing. At the start, he’s constantly insisting that he doesn’t want a kid or a family, and then you see that gradually shift as he goes to appointments with Tessa and then finally that big shift when the baby is born. And he’s such a well-intentioned character throughout the whole thing - I giggled a bit when he brought flowers for her appointment and couldn’t even figure out what for - but I think that he’s constantly trying to do right by the people around him - especially Tessa and the baby - which makes him a really likeable and admirable character throughout the whole thing.

But you bring up such an interesting point about how different adoption is when there’s someone magical involved, because you’re giving up a baby that’s more than likely magical itself and ensuring that it goes through the earliest years of its life knowing absolutely nothing about the world they come from or the world that awaits them. I’d truly never thought about that before, but it certainly does add to Louis’ conflicted feelings about giving up the baby.

I kind of had an idea he was going to decide to keep the baby throughout this piece, but the moment where he went back to the technician and asked for a copy of the ultrasound was the moment I knew for sure. But then the moment when he holds her for the first time - holy cow, the emotions are so absolutely palpable and well-written that I almost got emotional myself. You’ve written this powerful moment so well.

I adore the family dynamics in this as well. The scene when Louis tells his sisters and Teddy and the one when Dom goes flying with him shows just how strong and supportive the sibling bond between them is - but the moment that really got me was when he showed up at his parents’ place, after trying to keep this a secret from them for so long, and just absolutely breaks down. And, much like Dom predicted they would be, they’re nothing but supportive and give him the confidence he needs to go through  with the decision he made the moment he held her. And then they set up the whole nursery for her, which is absolutely the sweetest thing.

And then the last moment of this story, with Louis’ promise as he rocks Delphine to sleep, is absolutely the sweetest thing and such a perfect way to end. 

Regarding your concerns about the story pacing, I think it’s perfect. It never felt overly rushed or dragging - you gave the full story of this whole 9ish month period without lingering too long over any one moment or jumping past things too quickly. It absolutely didn’t come across as sloppy at all.

This was such a unique and wonderfully written piece, and I really enjoyed reading it!

-Taylor

 

Edited by ReillyJade
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

BookDinosaur

so @crestwood has been reviewing All the Waves Resounded like an absolute champion, but his most recent review absolutely demolished me - it's over two thousand words long, so i'm not going to quote it all here, but there are some particular bits that made me squee extremely hard and cry a leetle bit, and i shall most certainly quote those or die trying.

Quote

Hello Emily! I’m finally here to review - as I am dedicated to reviewing everything you upload. I cannot promise the utmost punctuality, but I will certainly arrive.

For a while, I read this every night before bed. The first three chapters were masterpieces, and this one is a genuine treasure the likes of which I would pray to someday write. I still don’t feel I’ve gotten to the bottom of it. It’s something of an endless descent - where I keep searching and searching for that core thing that will flip a switch in my brain and allow me to feel that I finally found every small detail you’ve stashed away, and truly comprehend your thought process in accomplishing this feat of a chapter, but truthfully I am not yet at that point. This stirs in me the same thing that a great album or film does - I want to write about it. There’s material here to write an essay on much richer than the things I wrote in my Literature courses and, frankly, if someone thinks that fanfiction cannot be wholly transformative art of its own, I would be tempted to show them this story.

Quote

So, every line here seems to merit a bit of a breakdown, but like - YEAH, when Andromeda considered that she may be nothing more than a routine errand to Dumbledore it’s so interesting because it reveals so much about his role in all of this even though he has not appeared and seems to have no immediate plans to speak to her face to face again. ‘Until it is so much fog’ - I don’t know why this wording has begun to strike me as beautiful, but somewhere around my third read I suddenly couldn’t take my eyes off of it. This story shapeshifts every time I come back to it.

Your explanation of the work she does for her father sounds positively dull - it’s a wonder she didn’t defect sooner. It still does blow my mind that we each came to the conclusion that Andromeda and Ted would communicate via enchanted parchment - I mean, I know we’re like that, but that was an especially like that moment, even for us. The moment where she is undecided whether to leave her door locked or unlocked is so good in that it paints this vivid picture of the depths of her paranoia. It probably doesn’t make all that much of a difference one way or another.

Quote

It’s incredible that Andromeda seems to understand just what kind of person Dumbledore is, even without quite knowing him. She’s hyper-perceptive, able to sense that he is the kind of person that will abuse any advantage he can muster - even if it means an innocent must die for his precious greater good. I hear the echoes of Harry’s eventual understanding in that one line. He agonized over it for so many words, and yet, you managed to name it in a paragraph. Chained to the rock indeed.

It is all too relatable, the idea that if you allow an argument, you are liable to be swayed. I can imagine she feels like either she’s in or out, unable to see an in between her herself. Andromeda does not believe in half measures. (I can’t shake the urge to quote the lyric ‘Ain’t no such thing as halfway crooks’ - never thought that a fic would lead my mind in this direction.)

Quote

I am a sucker for a well timed dash in the right bit of dialogue and the use of it before ‘you, Ted’ really takes the line to another level where you can just hold the apprehension in your fist. And the repeated like - ‘She can’t /see/ him’ Wow. It is? Perfect.

Quote

I only just realized why Bellatrix holds eye contact with her like that, wow. You’d think that Andromeda thinking of blankness would have given it away, but I suppose my brain hadn’t been on that wavelength. I really, really love that moment. It paints her as an equal to her sister - even if she is not a fighter in the same sense. She, at the very least, is a supremely talented liar. I am impressed that she can stand strong against this sort of scrutiny.

When Bellatrix grabs her arms, I actually cringed back - you write her in such a way that I feel any sudden movement she makes could spell disaster. It hurts to see that Andromeda knows that it is inevitable she hate her own family. There’s not much that could have been done about it, but my, it is difficult.

Quote

The first time I read Andromeda asking Ted to meet her toward the end of this chapter I quite literally jumped to my feet and clapped. There is not much I can say other than - wow. What a way to set up their first purely social meeting. They, of course, will end up together and we all know that as we read, but you make it a delight to follow along and witness it for ourselves. This story was masterful from the jump and continues to deserve the increasing esteem I hold it in. This is a flawless chapter; not a letter out of place, anywhere. Your grasp of the English language inspires me every day to find a way to squeeze something half as monumental as this out of myself. An all-time achievement of a story. Thank you for writing this, as always. So much love for this story and for you.

i spent so long whittling this down, good lord, and it isn't even half of the review he gave me :wub: :wub: SO much love, joseph, you're marvellous ❤️ 

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

RonsGirlFriday

I recently got this review on Irrational on HPFF after uploading the first truly new chapter in years (though I am still getting through minor revisions to the existing chapters and posting them all here and on AO3/FFN):

Quote

You honestly don't know how happy I am right now. I read this story years ago and fell it love with it and the characters and I've reread the first 9 chapters so many times since then. So to find HPFF is back up again and to see another chapter has got me grinning like crazy. I would be grinning more if you hadn't made them have a fight but I guess you can't have everything! 
Thank you so much for picking this story back up again. Your characters are so well defined and the plot is so subtle and brilliant, you've made me care about these characters so much! I just really can't wait to see where you take them next.

 

Do you mean to tell me there is a person out there who has re-read my stupid little long-abandoned WIP more than once and immediately read the new chapter almost as soon as I posted it?? That is MADNESS and I feel like crying the happiest tears.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

grumpy cat

i occasionally re-read reviews that make me feel better about myself and my writing and these two that @Alwynse and @Aphoride left on echoes of wartime really struck something with me today. maybe because i'm feeling particularly down and searching for fics that make me feel good and reviews that make me feel good, especially on my darker/angsty stories but it is what it is.

by Alwynse/javu:

Quote

One of the beautiful things about writing is that we get to be someone else as we read. The mark of good writing versus bad writing is whether an author can convince the reader to feel an emotion that doesn't belong to them. None of my friends have died in war. Yet here am I shedding tears at a sadness that doesn't belong to me.

You also did well expressing the fear at the beginning. It really captures the reader and draws them in.

Well done on have the theme of a patronus threaded through the story. It tied it together nicely. 

by Aphoride:

Quote

Hey Kris! I'm here embarrassingly late for our review swap, like, a month ago or something now - but I'm here! :)

And omigosh I really regret not reading this earlier, because this is amazing? Like, I think I'd forgotten just how much I loved your Astoria - how broken and difficult and dangerous she is, to herself and to others, and how human she is at the end of it all: she's just a girl trying to deal with something horrible and impossible and which won't ever really go away or heal completely, but she's trying.

I think what I love most about this story though is how hopeful it is. Most of the story is kinda dark and down, with Astoria struggling badly: the drugs, the nightmares, the convincing herself there was a Dementor (and I lovelovelove that you don't ever really say whether or not there was one there that first time - you leave that up for debate because she thinks there is and that's most of what's important, and who knows?), how she gets involved with her dad's work because it's something to do - active and bloody - and how she wants to be an Auror because it's a kind of revenge, in a way. But then Astoria gets better and I love how Andromeda inspires her, with how she's coped and still copes - or, at least, seems to - and keeps on going and finds a way to go forward, despite everything. It's so nice to see women drawing on strength from other women, yk - and it's so nice to see Astoria overcoming her block with the Patronus charm and being emotional in a healthy, honest kind of way.

I love as well how you used the Dementor - all of the symbolism of it (and the Lethifold) being associated with death and depression and dark, self-compassing thoughts, and how Astoria overcoming it is such a symbolic and real victory: it's not just about the Dementor, it's about her mental health and her taking that first step towards potentially healing and finding some kind of peace for herself.

(This feels like a lot of rambling and a lot of exposition, none of which is necessarily what you intended, haha, so sorry about that! But your writing is just so full and so thought-provoking and I'm easily distracted by that kind of thing :P)

Ahhh and Draco and Andromeda being friendly! Draco playing with Teddy is such a cute image, and I love the idea that after the war, Andromeda and Narcissa - and, by extension, Draco - found something of a relationship between them, even if they'd never really be sisters again.

I love how you write family, yk? Like, it's so so clear to me in this story how beautifully and honestly you write it. How easy it is to be hurtful to the people who know you best - and how hard it can be to let even those people in when you're hurt - but how, so often, those are the people you want around you, really. And I love how Astoria doesn't see her family as anything different from Andromeda's makeshift one. Yeah, her dad's a crime-lord and they're all kinda super shady and up to their necks in serious, dangerous stuff, but they love each other, and they always feel like such a good, tight-knit, loving kind of family and it's so so good :)

You know your writing's good - or you should, because it is. And I love the way you write. You have a real, real talent of drawing out emotions from your writing and your readers. Everything you write feels intentional, meticulously planned and very detailed, with a lot of emotional depth to it, and I can't help but look for intention and kind of 'deep meaning' in it, because it feels like the kind of thing where that is in it.

This has been a long review, and I feel like it's been a super, super rambly kind of thing, so I'm sorry for that! But ahhh I'm so glad I read this story and I loved it as always <3

Laura xx

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Noelle Zingarella

I need to come in here and squee about the review that @tatapb just left on Moonlight, chapter 10. Maria's reviews are thoughtful, funny, and showcase her intelligence and perception--and if you're lucky enough to have received one, I think you'll know what I'm talking about. But this review in particular just blew me away. It's 1K words long! She noticed my word choices (I spend so much time on word selection)! She got what I was doing with the little meandering scene where I show Miranda getting magically dolled up! She knew what I was talking about when Aaron tries to explain to Miranda why men are kinda dumb about some things. And (oh my heart) despite Severus Snape being, well, Severus Snape, she can see why he might be someone's Byronic hero. Thank you so so much Maria!

Quote

TIL the word ‘sanguine’ and I’m in love with it (I actually knew the word already, I had just been assuming what it meant from context. After the ‘bemused’ debacle I’ve been more careful lately and turns out ‘sanguine’ does not in fact mean ‘discerning’). Also ‘copse’ omg. And then there’s ‘veneer’ which I already knew but isn’t part of my prêt-à-porter vocabulary which I now think is a shame because it’s just all sorts of brilliant and I’m now just waiting for the perfect chance to use it.

This chapter was beautiful. I usually write my reviews while reading, but in this case I had to take a break from writing because I was so engaged. It felt so vivid and alive I could practically hear the music.

You start off with an introspective moment that is all Miranda that was incredibly useful to show exactly what she’s thinking and how she feels about Severus. I love that she knew he was a Death Eater right off the bat and cared nothing for it, thinking his wild youth was to blame for it. It shows a lot about her personality that she didn’t think less of him in any way, even if she was completely aware of what had happened in England. In the past chapters I had always thought that her nonchalance had more to do with ignorance than recklessness - I know realise it was neither. She knows exactly what Voldemort is and what he will do to her and entertains no illusions that her presence in the UK is dangerous… and yet she still wants to stay and risk everything, including her life, to be around Severus.

She has shown impeccable instincts since the first chapter and the fact that she believes he would never willingly harm her only makes me wish that she’s right. 

“She supposed what drew her to him most was his veneer of complete control.”

I really like this. I’m not a big fan of Severus Snape as a romantic hero myself - or at least I never was until I started reading Moonlight. I think I was furious when I read that Pensieve scene and realised James Potter was a complete wanker and thought for a moment ‘how is that fair, just because he’s prettier?’ but I never thought Lily and him were meant to be and I certainly never fantasized about him as being Male Lead material… until now. It makes perfect sense that she, an open and completely shameless (in the good way) woman would see this wall and not be able to resist tearing it down to find out what lies on the other side. 

“At some point, she heard the door slam again, so she stayed in for an extra fifteen minutes out of petulance.”

I also love this. 

Okay, there’s something I need to say here (and mind you, this is only my personal beef so don’t let it bother you it’s just something that I feel very strongly about as a reader): I usually HATE Costume Porn. Costume Porn is basically the writing trope where clothes are described in detail as if they were part of the supporting cast. I always hated it and reading it generally feels grating and it just… it ticks me off, okay? 

HOWEVER… I feel like the fact that you showed us what was basically a costume change in the magical world made it worth it. It turned the PWP into PWP and I can survive that, especially because it was interesting and thought provoking. 

When Transmutation is just another set of spells to learn, obviously people would be able to morph their attires. One could of course wonder why then people would own multiple attires or why clothes shops even exist but then again I love my headcanon of Miranda as a multi-talented woman who’s just as ready to stab a couple of vamps as to fix her own clothes. No more awkward walks of shame with the same clothes you wore next night sort of deal. Nevertheless, it also makes me wonder if this were a thing why Molly Weasley wouldn’t just Transmute her kids’ clothes all the time so they would look new and fit right…?

(Incidentally, I don’t mind Costume Porn when it’s seen through the eyes of another character, for example, when Severus took note of her dress and became all hot and bothered by it. I’m not entirely sure why, I just feel like it feels more natural to take note of other peoples’ attires when it’s from an outside perspective.)

“he began in the tone that he reserved for reading his students’ confiscated notes aloud in class”

I love this and I wanted to say I love every single one of your Muggle culture references. ALSO I love the Author’s Notes at the end with pieces of trivia, they’re really wonderful.

I also love Prospero’s and the word picture you painted of it. 

Cynthia was an interesting character to read. I love how you turned cocktail making into something akin to Potioneering and of course Severus would be a snob and it pleased me to no end to see her getting the best of the interaction. I also loved how she’s intuitive and realised that Severus was obviously jealous even through his veneer (aha) and that she was kind enough to offer him a relocation so they could have an uninterrupted evening.


I also loved Aaron, especially that line about men and patience. It was a really good piece of advice, kind of how when I got married my male friends felt the need to make an intervention and tell me that ‘all men are idiots and we’re very keen on doing anything you want us to do, but also like we said, we’re idiots and therefore need to be told in no unclear way that it’s important for you that we do whatever it is you want us to do else we simply won’t because we can’t guess what’s going in your mind’. I feel like it’s the kind of advice that just sticks with you for life and I know a series of women who really need to be the recipient for this so I’m just going to start quoting this to all my friends, kthxbai. 

I loved how she managed to extract herself from the table-tennis of insults and mockery and turn the conversation into something earnest.

I just wrote a 1000 word review for this chapter which is a lot but I loved it. To end this I’d just like to add that the moment Severus Snape decided to let go of her rather than lose her was the moment I fell truly and irredeemably in love with him.

That is all.

Love, Maria

 

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

grumpy cat

oh wow. i just read this review that @tatapb left on physical fatality and i'm just 😭 😭 😭 thank youuu!

Quote

I don’t even know where to start and I’m usually not at a loss for words.

HOW DO YOU WRITE SO WELL?

Omg, I can’t - - 

First of all, right from the first sentence, your writing sings. I don’t know how, or why, it just does. I usually like stories with shorter paragraphs because not every writer is talented enough to write a five sentence paragraph and not botch the rhythm of it.

You are.

There’s this cadence to the chapter, a crescendo. It starts slow and the intensity just keeps growing until the end of the chapter and, honestly, I couldn’t put it down. I was at the doctor’s office reading your smut scenes from the next chapter and grinning like a maniac - made for a weird morning, let me tell ya.

First person is difficult because you need to introduce your characters and give the reader pieces of information about them without it feeling forced. I read an award winning short story a while ago that started with “Hi, my name is Whatever and I’m fifteen years old” and I wanted to both kill myself, Whatever and her writer.

You? You did it brilliantly. You gave us the mood of the Serpent, with glimpses of Freya, her job, her past. You sneaked in that she went to Durmstrang and that she’s Norwegian and that she’s bisexual. You told us a lot of things without actually ever actually SAYING any of it. It was woven into the descriptions and the conversations and her internal monologue without her ever actually becoming introspective and self-aware, which is the pitfall for first person writers.

It was seamless.

I love what you did with the Serpent. It’s magical and everything I’d ever wanted a seedy magical club to be. I also loved the fact that you said it was the only place both in the Muggle and Wizarding world that was journalist free - I don’t know why, it just thrills me. The dodgy potions, the magical refills. It’s the epitome of debauchery and seediness under a mask of elegance and power.

Can we talk about how incredibly sexy Oliver Wood is? Honestly I never thought I’d use “Oliver Wood” and “sexy” in the same sentence so this is new for me, but I just did and I have no regrets. He grew up to be a hot piece of ass, but he's also different? Was it the fame, I wonder?

I’m not exactly sure how much one can write in reviews of smutty fanfics without sounding awfully crude and tmi, but the teasing drove me mad?

Seriously, I'm randy for a fictional character, how dare you write them so sexy!

Now, let’s talk things that I still haven’t understood and that are puzzling me: what is up with their weird connection? Is it a Veela thing? Why does she have it for him? Do I sense a soulmates trope? Or are they just equally hot and hotness attracts? Why is she working for Daphne? Is it by choice or does Daphne have something on her?

WHY ARE THEY DOOMED FROM THE START, OMG

“And even though he’s all fire, all action and boldness, still, it’s as if time stops while he slowly leans down, dragging out the tension deliberately, pushing us towards a storm, both our hearts beating like thunder, until it becomes almost unbearable, and finally, our lips touch and I’m consumed by the feel of him, his lips rough and pressing and I feel as if there’s an explosion happening in my brain.”

What sorcery is this?! You can just feel the tension growing!

Okay, so I ship it. It’s very morally ambiguous and it’s beautifully written and I’m very, very invested in Freya. She’s magnetic, both in fiction and as a character. I know very little about her as of now, but I also know enough that I want to know more...? Even her internal monologue is a tease, I want to know more but she’s just giving me enoughhhhh to keep me on my toes and begging for more.

I can tell that she’s self-destructive, but she also mentions survival so maybe she doesn’t know how else to deal with it and she’s doing the very best she can - I can respect that, it’s literally all any of us can do. She makes the best of her situation and she plays the game. Her Social Intelligence is through the roof, she flaunts, she flatters, she’s completely aware of how people see her… and she uses it to her advantage. I'm guessing she had to learn through painful trial and error how to navigate socially and that it is probably easier for her in some ways, what with being the epitome of sexy, but it's also harder, what with being the epitome of sexy. Double edged sword just... having that kind of power over men but being completely powerless at the same time.

“ofc, now i have a problem that i'm a lil bit too attached to these two (oliver and freya)”

I second this. I know good writing is all about torturing our characters and putting them through hell and telling the stories about them that need to be told but holy shit

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

RonsGirlFriday

I woke up this morning to a review by @WriteYourHeartOut (on A Patient Wolf) that made my brain go 🤯

Quote

I have always loved your writing, and in the last few years I became mildly obsessed with James/Remus, so as soon as I saw you wrote one, I came running. I just want to say that your writing is stunning as ever, and the ending of this broke my heart to such an extent I had tears in my eyes and had to just sit in silence for a few minutes after I finished. The way you captured Remus' internal struggle just destroyed me, and paired with the hopefulness of James in the last moments they ever see or speak with each other... ugh. It's just gutwrenching. You're phenomenal. If you ever feel like taking requests on another James/Remus, girl, PLEASE hit me up. :') I have dream scenarios that would be so much dreamier written by you. (But OBVIOUSLY no pressure! <3)

Tanya is one of those writers I still remember from years ago, and I was excited to see she'd been part of this site even if she is not around much anymore. My heart just burst seeing her pop by my AP, and to know she felt so strongly about this fic I wrote, which was a pairing I had frankly never thought I'd write until a couple of months ago.

:wub:

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

grumpy cat

maybe i should just set up camp in this thread but what can one do when one gets the most amazing-est review :yoda:

@Rumpelstiltskin left me this on physical fatality, chapter one:

Quote

Heya Kris! I'm here with a revieeeeww!

Oh my gosh, queue mysterious opening with that GREENGRASS SECRET ISH THAT I'VE BEEN ABSOLUTELY LIVING for in your fics -- please help me, I'm so here for this. What's more is that the magical fashion industry has been put into the spotlight in this and, let me tell you, I'm absolutely over the moon. Can we PLEASE take a second here to talk about your imagery, though, what with the shady business and the club and the smokey vibes -- it's really all creating this formidable atmosphere of darkness (but it's that blase, misanthropic, cool and dangerous type of dark-vibe, and I dig it).

Freya's hot. Her indifferent yet sharp coolness is freaking amazing. Of course, the very manipulative essence of her job as a Daphne's model completely matches her personality at a surface level, in the terms of it being something she's perfectly capable of, but she seems to have much more depth than merely what is percieved in the moment. The atmosphere she's creating by just freaking existing and the fact that it permiates right through the freaking screen is awe-inspiring.

And then Oliver Freaking Wood. Wooosh. I have read few different Oliver Wood versions, but having him be this too-hot-for-his-own-good, arrogant, f-boy who knows how to make those panties drops and HE knows that he knows how it's done -- it's perfection.  By some physical law, I know that putting Freya and Oliver in the same room as one another is going to create some sort of explosive, chorrosive, chemical reaction so *grabs some safety goggles* let's freaking go! I'm ready for some over-sexed jerks to devour each other's souls and spit out the bones. I'm ready!

OH MY LORD THE DANCE -- the game they play of dancing back and forth (not literally, of course, though the literal dance was freaking hot, too) while they size each other up makes them both  feel like they're predators just assessing their next meals (which I believe may be the point). The effect it has has me vibrating, holy moly -- I'm trying to decide if they're going to sleep together or kill each other (I mean, probably both, but that also works). I mean they're both just aiming to use each other for a means to an end, and the dark seductiveness plus the general freaking mood of this chapter (and what a goddamn mood it is) is just SO WELL DONE it's electrifying.

10/10 Recklessness, 10/10 Hotness, 10/10 Mood.

Heck yeah, Kris, you're kicking this story's butt.

--Rumpels

and it's just so....like maybe exactly what i needed in this moment?? thank you!! :grouphug:

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

RonsGirlFriday

The Artist Formerly Known As WeasleyTwinMom left me this review on Irrepressible on AO3 and it shall nourish me through all the impending doom of Camp NaNo:

Quote

I woke up to see you’d posted this, so I read it over breakfast, so picture me eating a bagel and cackling into my coffee while reading this. Also occasional flailing dance moves in my chair, and grinning the entire time.

OH MY GOD. This is the BEST sex scene. And I have a new head canon now too. Losing control of your magic makes SO MUCH SENSE and now I’m picturing the Hogwarts teachers seeing crazy magic happening from a corridor and just sighing like “go pull Stebbins and Fawcett out of that niche, please” to a prefect who has no idea hahahaha

Seriously this was amazing, I really enjoyed it. Still grinning like a fool. And shipping those two so hard. Ahhhh screaming, I loved it, I am incoherent. That was the best thing ever. And seeing Audrey through Percy’s eyes was just lovely. I’m flailing again. I’m going to be grinning all morning thinking about this. Thank you for posting it!

If people aren't careful, I'm gonna end up writing more dorky smut. :P 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


×
×
  • Create New...