Jump to content

Welcome to HPFT

We are a multi-fandom/original fiction community with roots in the Harry Potter fandom community. We strive to maintain a strong focus on author feedback and inclusive writing. Here on the forums, you can join a house and participate in House Cup events, participate in writing challenges, play games, and much more!

Join the Forums

Check out the Archives

HPFT has a moderated multi-fandom/original fiction archive with an unlimited queue. There you can post your writing, as well as read and review other members' writing. Be sure to stop by and check out our latest featured stories!

Join the Archives

Find us on Social Media

HPFT is active on social media. You can find us and many members busily tweeting on Twitter, join us for livestreams on YouTube, check out aesthetics on Instagram, get sneak peeks on Snapchat, and interact on Tumblr! All our social media links can be found below.

News Ticker
  • Our 'The Nifflers That Stole Christmas' event is open through January 1!
  • What did the golden snitch say when Harry Potter was itchy?
  • Quidditching!
TidalDragon

Reviews by TidalDragon

Recommended Posts

MalfoysAngel

Story and Author Name, including RATED link: Our Love Story by MalfoysAngel (M)

Warnings and Advisories: Sexual Content

Genre: Romance

Length: 1500 words

Summary: On the night before her daughter's wedding, Hermione looks back on her own love story

Ships: Hermione Granger/Vincent Crabbe

Areas of Concern: This was totally out of my comfort zone to write and I would like some honest feedback which I hear you're famous for.

 

I guess I would like to know how believable the story is and how well it comes together. For me it seems a bit rushed and so far out there that it's not even in the same galaxy. (I'm hoping that's just because of the pairing)

 

I do know there will be spelling and grammar issues because the story has not been looked over by a beta.

 

Thanks Kevin!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

TidalDragon

So...finally done with these. Sorry for the delay! The thread is wide open again!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

blackballet

Story and Author Name: stranger things (chp 1)

Links: (M)

Warnings and Advisories: Contains profanity, Strong violence, Scenes of a mild sexual nature, Substance abuse, Sensitive topic/issue/theme

Genre: Drama, Horror/Dark, Young Adult

Length: chapter is 2681, WIP full length is 16078

Summary: A story about a teenage inferius. Stranger things have happened.

Ships: James/Lily, Remus/OC, Sirius/OC, Other Pairing

Areas of Concern: I am mostly concerned with the flow of the first chapter, because I am terrible at first chapters!

 

Thank you so much!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

StarFeather

Howdy, Kevin.

I'm not in haste. If you can find time, please continue reading the rest of 'Out of the World', chapter 4 & 5.

Story and Author Name, including RATED link: Out of the Magical World   (M) by StarFeather

Warnings and Advisories:   Sexual Content, Suicid, Violence 

Genre: Angst, Romance 

Length: 2439 & 2220 words

Summary: chapter 4 : Gordon happened to hear the name 'Harry' while Cho was sleeping.

chapter 5 : Gordon tried not to lose Cho. 

Ships: Cho Chang / Muggle guy, Gordon

Areas of Concern: I got one review at a review tag on the other fanfiction site, my wording sounds formal. So if you can show some examples and model sentences ( like you will write this sentence in this way, "blah blah blah..." if you were to write...), I really appreciate.

And could you tell me what you expect for next chapters as a reader, what plots sounds interesting in the latter half... (if you can.)

Thank you in advance.   :)

Edited by StarFeather

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

TidalDragon

TidalDragon brushes away the dust.

Slots
1.
2.
3.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

faeruhs

I'm just gonna slide on in here since you've reopened your thread and I'd love more feedback!

Story + Author name: The Midas Touch [M] by godslayer
Advisories: Derogatory Language, Domestic Abuse, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Sexual Content, Substance Abuse
Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort
Length: currently 7,718 words, planned 50k+
Summary: Sixth year was supposed to be the best school year yet. I finally get to study what I want, I have a boyfriend who loves me and friends who will support me through anything. How wrong could this possibly go?
Ships:  Fred Weasley II/OC (HP), James Sirius Potter/OC (HP), Lily Luna Potter/Scorpius Malfoy (HP)
Areas of concern: How Aurora comes off as a protagonist, general first impressions and how well I manage to get the flow between the first two chapters
How many chapters?: Just the first two please (since they're what's up) ☺️

Thank you for your time 💞

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Recent Badges

TidalDragon

Slots:
1. @faeruhs (Multi-chapter)
2.
3.

Thanks for starting me (back) off with a bang!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Rumpelstiltskin

Are you taking OF, or just the HP-verse? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

esmeraude

May I please snag spot two? :couch:

Story + Author name: The Life and Lies of Albus Potter (T) by esmeraude
Advisories: Derogatory Language
Genre: Drama, Humour, Romance
Length: 11,584 words and two chapters at the time of posting; I'm hoping to post the third chapter soon.
Summary:

Quote

“I don’t think he got the memo that ‘Puffs are supposed to be friendly,” James had said once to a reporter, who had promptly printed the quote followed by a description of Albus’ friends: “The most hostile badgers I’ve had the misfortune to meet.”

NOW AVAILABLE FOR PREORDER!!

As the recent scandal surrounding the Boy-Who-Lived’s middle child sparks unprecedented interest from the public, Rita Skeeter has named Albus Potter as the star of the latest instalment in her ‘Life and Lies’ series, set to be released on 31st March, 2022. The Daily Prophet Press are expecting the most sensational bestseller of the century, as Skeeter digs into the secrets of the anti-social Potter and his best friends: a juvenile delinquent, a Quidditch star, a heartbreaker, and a genius.

Prepare for an exposé that will answer the questions on everyone’s lips: How did a boy like Albus end up in Hufflepuff? Why do the Potters work so hard to keep him out of the limelight? And who is the mysterious stranger he was seen kissing on New Year’s Eve?

Ships:  Scorbus! :excited:
Areas of concern: Introducing the characters in the first chapter and setting the tone of the story; the characterisation, mainly Albus', and in chapter two, writing his anti-social tendencies/behaviour realistically. Can you see how everyone isn't conventionally Hufflepuff, and yet why they ended up there instead of one of the other Houses? Your general thoughts on what I did well and what I did terribly would be great! Also, is Diana too strong a personality that she overwhelms everyone else? (And if you happen to get to the third chapter, it's 90% Quidditch and I am very, very nervous about it, because I am someone who who has zero interest in sports and Albus is a very invested spectator. :$)
How many chapters?: The first two please, and the third if it's up (and you like the story enough to continue!)

Thanks so much, Kevin! ^_^

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

TidalDragon

@Rumpelstiltskin I've edited it to reflect such, but I absolutely accept OF. 

Slots:
1. faeruhs (Multi-chapter)
2. @esmeraude (Multi-chapter)
3. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Rumpelstiltskin

Yay! Then I'm stealing your final spot. 

Story & Author's Name: We, Lawbreaking Citizens [Mature] by Rumpelstiltskin
Advisories: Consent Issues (Mild/Moderate), Hate Speech, Sexual Content, Slavery, Substance Abuse, Violence
Genres: Action/Adventure, Crime/Mystery, Dark/Horror, Fluff, Romance [I always lol when I see the range of genres here 😅]
Length: 4 Chapters at 13,133 words 
Summary: 

The War revealed many truths about humankind...the most important of those truths is that all humans are innately inclined to violence and chaos. We are hosts to an entire horde of plaguing ailments like jealousy and greed and we lack the physical and emotional capabilities to cope with such diseases. That is how the War started. That is how the world ended. That is why there is a grand nothingness on the Outside, beyond the walls of the Sovereignty.

My name is Cyril Bernard and I play a highly important role in maintaining the peace and overall wellbeing of our wonderfully prospering society (despite what that Mark Van said because what does that peacebreaker know anyway).

Ships: OMC x OMC
Areas of Concern: Welp, the story is split up between being told from one perspective (via journal entries) and from 3rd person perspective (with another character). Ideally, the two voices should be discernable from one another *fingers crossed* -- so I'd love some feedback on that. Also, the worldbuilding is, hopefully, layered into the chapters so that the reader "learns" about the world as the main character does. Ideally, this won't be confusing or leave too many questions unanswered for too long, but if you see anything problematic as far as the worldbuilding goes, I would love feedback on that as well.  Otherwise, I'm more than happy to hear whatever other pieces of CC you have (I'm trying to be better, I really am ;_;)^_^ .
How many chapters: Four, please! Unless the fourth one isn't up when you get to it -- I'll be editing for a flow issue in it soon. If it's not there, skip it, please. Also, if you get through a couple chapters and it's really not your thing, just let me know ^_^ .  

 

Thanks, Kevin! :hug:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

TidalDragon

And with that, I am presently full! Thanks for helping ring in my return guys - now it is time for me to return the favor.

Slots:
1. faeruhs (Multi-chapter - 2)
2. esmeraude (Multi-chapter - 2/3)
3. @Rumpelstiltskin (Multi-chapter - 3/4)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

TidalDragon

After emerging from my health and work and natural disaster issues, I have finally finished these. That means all three (3) slots are open once more. Request away friends!

Slots

1.
2.
3.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

faeruhs

I know you reviewed the old TMT but since I'm re-writing, I'd love your thoughts on the new first chapter! Your reviews are so eloquent and helpful, I can't help myself! 

Story & link: The Midas Touch [M] by godslayer
Advisories: Derogatory Language, Domestic Abuse, Eating Disorders, Hate Speech, Self-Harm, Sexual Content, Substance Abuse, Suicide, Violence
Genre: Angst, Crime/Mystery, Dark/Horror, Drama, Hurt/Comfort
Length: chapter 1 is 2,835 words
Summary: 

Quote

header-round-mk4.jpg

"Why did you invite Bianchi? Even germs don’t like her.”

Richest girl at Hogwarts. Prettiest girl at Hogwarts. Meanest girl at Hogwarts.

But apparently my great aunt getting murdered overshadows all of that. 

Unbelievable. 

Areas of concern: just your general thoughts please! 
How many chapters: Only chapter one is up, so just that please! 

 

Thank you in advance! 💞

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Recent Badges

Alwynse
Story and Author Name: I'm not a Hero (M) by javu (me)

Advisories: Consent Issues (very mild), Derogatory Language, Hate Speech, Sexual Content, Substance Abuse, Violence

Genre: Harry Potter - Next Gen, Action/Adventure, Crime/Mystery, Romance

Length: Chapter 1 is 3917 words, chapter 2 is 5281 words, chapter 3 is 5692, chapter 4 is 3026, chapter 5 is 3865

Summary: Charlotte Ward begins an epic journey that she doesn't know she's a part of. There's pain and redemption, heartache and joy. And I am really bad at summaries, but basically it's about a young girl who gets in the middle of a conflict and she doesn't realize she's in the middle of it. There's some sweet slow-build romance in there too.

Ships: Canon characters/Canon characters, Next Gen characters/OC, OC/OC

Areas of Concern: Any foreshadowing that you can see and characterization. Other than that, just your thoughts. It is also my concern that we win in RvG December. And this story gets double points! So go #teamgold!!

How Many Chapters I'd Like Reviewed: Well... five? You said you'd do up to five. I feel guilty asking for five. You don't have to do five, but if you want to, that would be awesome!

Please and thank you! 

 

Edited by Alwynse

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Recent Badges

TidalDragon

Yours is complete @faeruhs!

Slots

1. I'm not a hero by Alwynse/javu (Multi-chapter - 5)
2.
3.

  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Unwritten Curse

Snagging a spot for chapter 2 of Project Azkaban. :)

 

Story and Author Name, including link: Project Azkaban (M) by Unwritten Curse

Warnings and Advisories: Self-Harm, Sexual Content, Suicide, Violence

Genre: Action/Adventure, Dark/Horror, Drama

Length: 2 chapters; 5818 words

Summary:

Quote

Plans for The Azkaban Project began during Voldemort’s reign. With the allegiance of the dementors in question, Azkaban’s current order of operation was no longer viable. Combining their most innovative studies in Space, Time, and Thought, the Department of Mysteries forged a new prison experiment. But what they thought they could control, soon began to control them.

Ships: Teddy/Victoire

Areas of Concern: Does it grab your attention? Is the mystery set up well? How is the pacing? Is it believable?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

TidalDragon

Done! Sorry I had missed yours after failing to refresh when I was working on the multi-chapter Gina!

Slots

1.
2.
3.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Chemical_Pixie

Hey Kevin! Mind if I grab a slot? It's also worth double points if you're doing RvG this month!

 

Story and Author Name, including link: A Woman's Place (M) by Chemical_Pixie

Warnings and Advisories:  Sexual Content, Violence, Consent Issues (Severe), Hate Speech, Domestic Abuse, Substance Abuse

Genre: Action/Adventure, Drama, Angst, General, Hurt/Comfort

Length: 3 chapters; 10,119 words

Summary:  There are thirty-nine (39) known members of the Order of the Phoenix. Only twelve (12) are women.

Ships: Alice/Frank, Lily/James, Molly/Arther, Tonks/Lupin, Fleur/Bill

Areas of Concern: I'd love to have your perspective with this stories. I'm not sure how many chapters you're willing to read, but you can take your pick, since this is a collection of short stories. Alice's themes are workplace discrimination and a woman's identity after marriage. Marlene's themes are homophobia, sexual assault, hate speech [this chapter comes with a tw]. Dorcas's themes are xenophobia, youth voice, and effects of colonialism. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×