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greisful

greisful

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greisful

hello all this is my second or third attempt at a writer's journal because i keep disappearing off of the forums for months at a time and forget i have an online presence here. i'll kick this off with some facts about me:

1. i have an unfortunate habit of wanting to write too many stories all at once which results in absolutely nothing being updated or finished

2. i've been writing fanfiction since 2011 and i'm proud to say that i no longer write the same as 11 year old me used to back then (or however old i was in that year simple math is no longer something i can do)

3. i have a bad habit of planning absolutely nothing, i just start writing and see what happens and where things go. 

4. i study full time and i volunteer at like 5 different places during the school year so i don't really have a lot of time to write anything once september rolls around, what free time i do have i usually reserve for having a shower or sleep.

in terms of stories i love reading and writing next generation just because it's something that i can relate to the most and that is easiest for me to write. i love reading humor and romance and especially rom com so if you have anything like that i will leave squealing reviews all over your story. i live and breathe jily, i wouldn't be surprised if at some point in my future i stopped writing every genre and just did jily, i really wouldn't. i live for smut as well, can i write it, absolutely not, it's atrocious, but i love reading it.

at the moment i'm currently working on writing a minor setback, cottage neighbors, and fool me twice. hopefully some day i will actually finish writing one of these works in progress and be able to cross that off of my list. in all my years of writing i've only ever completed one novel, but it was also very bad and poorly written so that might explain why i actually finished it. i'm sorely tempted to start writing another story but i have a feeling if i keep going at this rate i'm going to fall down the rabbit hole of having 30 wips at the same time all over again and i don't know if i want that.

i'll try to post at least once a week in here in the hopes that it will actually motivate me to keep writing and get more things out there. if you've read any of my stories and had questions about what on earth i was thinking when i put that content out on the internet, here's the place to talk to me about it (or even if it's something that you've seen me posting about excessively on twitter and you just wanted to know more about it).

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Lost_Robin

Do you like writing the next gen kids in one universe or do you have a sort of separate universe for each fic?

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greisful
21 minutes ago, Lost_Robin said:

Do you like writing the next gen kids in one universe or do you have a sort of separate universe for each fic?

I've briefly considered it when I couldn't fall asleep one night but that would take the kind of coordination that I'm not willing to dedicate (tbh) so every story takes place in a separate universe (and it allows me to explore more storylines as well) unless it's stated that it's the sequel to something else.

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greisful

i really thought that i was going to be ripping through the chapters of fool me twice because i know everything that's going to happen, there is no planning involved, my own life serves as the outline for it. it's meant to be a release, and while that's true, there's something that i didn't take into account when i started writing the story: the fact that i would move on. see, the thing that kept me going and motivated was the burning rage that i had in me at everything that happened and trying to find a way to release it that would satisfy me enough to make it go away and i thought this story was going to be it. but i underestimated my ability to just stop caring about things so now that burning anger is wrong and while i still have the motivation to write it because i want to finish what i start, the urgency is no longer there which is really annoying because this means that it's going to take way longer for me to write it than i had anticipated and that's super annoying.

another thing that i've found myself struggling with is putting myself in the correct mindset. see, the set-up that i've decided to take with fool me twice is more of a modern day magic au just because i wanted to be in control of what aspects of the wizarding world to keep and what to change to make the story easier to write first of all and just because it would fit the narrative i have a lot better. but the problem  is, i've always written my fanfiction set in the world that jkr had set up, following her rules with no sort of au, so while i know what i want and what i'm aiming for, mentally, i feel like i haven't come to terms with it so it feels almost awkward writing anything because it gives me a very disonant feeling (if that makes any sense). and i feel like this incongruence with my feelings is probably showing through my writing (i don't have a confirmation on this but it's just a gut feeling that i have and my gut feelings usually end up being correct).

so there's that update for y'all.

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sunshine_locks
On 8/8/2019 at 9:45 PM, greisful said:

see, the thing that kept me going and motivated was the burning rage that i had in me at everything that happened and trying to find a way to release it that would satisfy me enough to make it go away and i thought this story was going to be it.

this honestly so me when writing stories, i totally get what you mean. for a lot of my stories, i'm fueled by my own need to write out my own emotions, but when they're gone, i completely crash. so while i understand the pantsing technique and all, maybe planning it out will help? like maybe just an idea for what you want in each chapter. 

in general, there are also certain scenes in my stories that i really want to see pan out. i think a lot of people write out of order to write that scene or whatever, but for me personally if i write those scenes i'll lose energy to write that story too. so i guess what i'm trying to say is try incentives? like you write the in between parts then you'll finally get to write the Scene you really want? 

idk, i'm just rambling haha. i know this is completely unsolicited advice so if you don't take it that's fine by me. 

soooo, question time! 

1. What inspired A Minor Setback? Was there a specific reason that you wanted to write this story? 

2. Are there any recurring themes/details across all your stories? And if so, why do you put those themes/details in your stories? 

3. You have so many projects that you're working on! Do you have a system set up for yourself so you put in effort for each project or is it more like whatever you feel like writing at the moment? 

4. Is there anything you're afraid of writing? Like anything you're scared you'll be judged for? 

5. What do you hate about writing in general? And what do you love? 

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greisful

@sunshine_locks omg hello wow. honestly though you're so right like logically i know that if i just sit down and plan some stuff out, it'll make it way easier for me to breeze through but the actual task of sitting down and planning is so physically painful for me and i literally do not understand why like i love this story i want to write this story planning will make it easier to write and yet i. cannot. bring. myself. to. do. it. (but i know i will eventually). and you're so rite that incentives work, sometimes you just gotta make yourself push through the stuff you don't care about so you can get to all of the good bits.

AND NOW ONTO YOUR QUESTIONS

1.what inspired me to write a minor setback was just that i wanted to try something new really. the first novel length fic that i finished was pretty generic to be honest, there was literally nothing creative or innovative about it, it wasn't even mediocre let alone good, it was the same cookie cutter plot as a lot of fics coming out at the time focusing on the next generation and while it was a good learning experience for me, by the time i was finished i was kind of thinking ok i should write something that will be better, a little more creative, a little more different, a little more challenging in some way. whatever i wrote next had to be a step up in terms of quality and content so that you could see a pretty marked difference between what i started with and where i was at following it (of course my original first fic is gone now so there's not anything to compare it to and a minor setback has i guess now become the new baseline in a way unless i manage to find my 12 year old one direction fanfiction from the depths of the internet).

so obviously i chose teen pregnancy because i just couldn't pick something more lighthearted. and obviously it's still going to be challenging, like i have a good grasp of the biology of the whole thing but i still have to deal with social implications and other things that come along with pregnancy that go beyond just hormones and hopefully i'll actually finish this story before i'm dead because it's been like 5 years if i'm not mistaken and i'm on like chapter 9.

2. i think i write the most about teenagers and jily being stupidly romantic and in love and i didn't really notice until i just saw your question right now. i think the reason i write so much of this stuff is because i never really got to experience all of the regular teenager stuff that everyone else my age got to experience on account of my parents and just who i am as a person. like i spent my time in high school and most of my time in uni studying or at home or asleep while everyone else around was actually socializing and doing whatever else people my age do. i'm a pretty homebody type of person and i guess i write about teenagers specifically because it's kind of my way of getting to live and experience all of these things,,,without actually doing so and the bonus being that it can be in a magical setting where way cooler things can happen than would be possible for me in real life. and it doesn't really make up for what i've missed out on, but it sure makes me feel better even if it is blatantly obvious that i have absolutely no idea what in gods name i'm talking about.

and i write about jily because there is literally nothing going on in my love-life. it's not dead because it was never born to begin with so like i gotta live vicariously through something and i've read enough jily fluff fic that i have a highly romanticised idea of what having a boyfriend is like that reality isn't living up to and i gotta let that energy out somewhere and where does it go? james and lily where i can make them the cutest most in love couple on the planet.

3. i used to go by writing whatever i felt like at the moment but that can be really fickle because there are some stories that i just don't feel like writing and they end up being ignored. not to mention my attention can be pretty fleeting so i jump from project to project in my excitement. i've had to enforce some sort of list upon myself to make sure everything can progress. and it's not much of a system, i basically use the tasks app on my phone to create a list of what i'm going to write next and i force myself to stick to it pretty much all of the time if i can help it and i add to it as i go. if i notice that i haven't added a new chapter to a story on it in a while and it feels like that story is getting neglected then i throw in a few chapters on the list for it and so on. it's been working so far even if it does take me forever to move from one project to the next 

(we're not gonna talk about my failed attempts to enforce time restraints on how long i have to write things because they don't work very well when i'm the one holding myself accountable)

4. i think i'd be afraid of writing a novel length founders story just because of the sheer amount of research it would require and it feels like i could do literally all of the work possible and someone would still crawl into my review area and tell me i don't know what i'm talking about (which, true) and it would kill whatever urge i had to continue writing. on top of that i think i'd be afraid of writing a character who has a disability just because i myself don't have any and i don't want to be inserting myself into a space that isn't mine for starters and then making things worse by writing that character in a way that's disrespectful or caricaturish or just makes it seem like i don't care. i'm sure i'll give it a shot eventually but for now, other ideas are stewing.

5. the thing i hate about writing is that my ideas are going faster than my ability to properly verbalise them in a sense. like i know what i want in my head and what the general mood and feeling is but sometimes there's a disconnect between all of that and putting it into words properly so that everyone else also gets what i'm feeling why can't i just send out brain waves to everyone reading so that they get it is that too much to ask. and whenever i get stuck in this i always end up with like two pages worth of writing on the one thing i'm trying to convey and i'm still not satisfied with how it sounds but i have to force myself to move on to the next bit because we can't have 5 pages on this nonsense i'm not writing a russian novel here. or i get so excited for one particular scene that i kind of forget that there has to be a connecting sequence of events leading up to it and so i just,,,,,,never come up with the stuff in between like this is a great idea but i have nothing to build up to, what are all of my smaller connecting scenes????

my favourite thing about writing, and this might sound weird, is being done with a story. i don't know what it is but for me, finishing a story is like crack, there's something so satisfying about completing a story and being able to see a long list of completed items on my authors page and then being able to start another story and make that list longer. it's a feeling of accomplishment to see all those list of stories and be like yeah i did all of that, those were my ideas and to just see it grow. that's what i love about writing (that and the pretty graphics). this is probably not the super deep answer you were looking for but c'est la vie.

thank you so much for these questions i had so much fun answering them because we all know how much i love talking about myself.

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sunshine_locks

i hope you don't mind me coming back to post again because i swear we are soulmates (is that weird to say? probably). the number of times i was literally dragged by your answers, omg. 

18 hours ago, greisful said:

what inspired me to write a minor setback was just that i wanted to try something new really.

honestly what a great answer! it's really inspiring to see other writers actively improve because it forces me into trying to improve. i have this thing of like where i don't want to be behind people in terms of progress as well as the fact that i don't want to disappoint other people around me even if i don't really know them (this is probably gonna come back to bite me later on so i'll just let future me deal with that). 

18 hours ago, greisful said:

i think the reason i write so much of this stuff is because i never really got to experience all of the regular teenager stuff that everyone else my age got to experience on account of my parents and just who i am as a person. like i spent my time in high school and most of my time in uni studying or at home or asleep while everyone else around was actually socializing and doing whatever else people my age do. i'm a pretty homebody type of person and i guess i write about teenagers specifically because it's kind of my way of getting to live and experience all of these things,,,

a ha,,, ha,,,,,,,,, ha haaha 

you really put it into words huh

18 hours ago, greisful said:

i think i'd be afraid of writing a novel length founders story just because of the sheer amount of research it would require and it feels like i could do literally all of the work possible and someone would still crawl into my review area and tell me i don't know what i'm talking about (which, true) and it would kill whatever urge i had to continue writing.

literally same! i could theoretically write a founder's era story, but the toll of all the planning and research i would have to do would kill me. i'm already bad at researching, and i think if i wrote a founder's era fic, then it would really really show. 

18 hours ago, greisful said:

on top of that i think i'd be afraid of writing a character who has a disability just because i myself don't have any and i don't want to be inserting myself into a space that isn't mine for starters and then making things worse by writing that character in a way that's disrespectful or caricaturish or just makes it seem like i don't care.

i get that! it's a really fine line to walk especially when you really want to represent it well but you don't know how. i personally struggle with this as well. maybe it's the sort of thing you need to practice on your own and privately ask for advice before putting out in public. it's what i try to do, at least, even if my inner attention hog tells me to put it up.

19 hours ago, greisful said:

my favourite thing about writing, and this might sound weird, is being done with a story.

i get this too! i usually am conscious about how long my stories are getting but it's only because i like seeing my stories finished. it's why i don't like it when random scenes or idea pop up into my head because it means that i potentially have to write more and put it into words which also means that i also have to take more time to finish up.

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greisful

@sunshine_locks omg i'm so glad i'm not the only one who feels like we're soulmates sometimes when i scroll through twitter i'll see a tweet and i'll be like did i tweet that and then i'll see it's you and i'm like ah yes now i know why this speaks to my soul. honestly you're more than welcome to stop by my writer's journal as often as you like i don't mind i'll make sure to drop by yours with some questions as soon as i think up some good ones.

i totally get about not wanting to be behind everyone else it's what pushes me to study hard in uni because i want to be on the same level as my peers and i'm CONSTANTLY plagued by the feeling that i'm always behind or doing the bare minimum and i always gotta stop myself and remind myself that i'm actually doing okay and that i'm not drowning in mediocrity. 

honestly i'll write a founders era fic some day but it just won't be any time soon (but also if you wanted to like write one together,,,,,,,i wouldn't say no)

 

and also a writing update for anyone that cares: i started writing the next chapter of cottage neighbors, it wasn't up next on my list but i was inspired out of the blue to get a jumpstart on it so i guess i've got like 1k words written for the new chapter and i don't know where it's going but i'll see what happens maybe it'll be up soon but it likely won't.

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sunshine_locks
4 hours ago, greisful said:

sometimes when i scroll through twitter i'll see a tweet and i'll be like did i tweet that and then i'll see it's you and i'm like ah yes now i know why this speaks to my soul

omgggg i do the same! like i know interact much with you on twitter but literally everything you retweet on there speaks to me! 

I'm more than likely to stop by here again haha just to see how everything is going and how you're doing sooooo 

4 hours ago, greisful said:

honestly i'll write a founders era fic some day but it just won't be any time soon (but also if you wanted to like write one together,,,,,,,i wouldn't say no)

,,,,,,,,,,,i wouldn't say no either as i do love writing with others but when it comes to the founder's era i'm just out of ideas. if i do write a founder's era fic it's most likely going to be overflowing with inaccuracies as well as probably be a crack fic or something like that

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