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Felpata_Lupin

Felpata_Lupin's reviews

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beyond the rain

Story and Author Name, including link: That's All(M) by beyond the rain

Warnings and Advisories:  Consent Issues (Mild/Moderate), Derogatory Language, Sexual Content, Spoilers, Violence

Genre: Angst, AU, Drama, Fluff, Romance 

Length: Novel, 6 chapters currently over 20,000 

Summary: A witch hides from the society that shunned her for being a muggleborn...and a slytherin. That is until two broken men, fighting on opposite sides of a war, give her no option but to return to the wizarding world. Magic hasn't managed to convince Clara that she belongs, but friends are more persuasive than any spell could be.

Ships: Remus/OC

Areas of Concern: I'd love to hear your first impressions, what you think of the characters that you meet along the way? This is a time jump fic, it takes place over several years rather than months, so maybe if it flows well too? I just want to know how my fic is doing. I don't normally write fics of this length! 

As far as what chapters you can review, if you don't have time to review them all (which is fine) then could you please review the last two chapters? The plot starts getting a bit more interesting there, so I'd really value some feedback on them! 

Thank you!

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starbuck
Posted (edited)

Story and Author Name, including link: The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) [M] by starbuck

Warnings and Advisories: Sexual Content, Substance Abuse

Genre: Drama, Romance

Length: Novel, it currently has 3 chapters, 19 303 words

Summary:

Quote

 

"Have no fear, Quinn Jones."

Apparently, it is a truth universally acknowledged that I, Quinn Jones, a full-fledged Gryffindor, am actually afraid of three little words.

What a load of nonsense.

 

Ships: James Sirius Potter/OC

Areas of Concern: general thoughts? about the characters and the story (it's a bit slow, i think, but i'm trying to build the friendship-turned-relationship slowly). i'm also like, totally insecure about my writing (not writing for a really long time does that i guess) so i just want some feedback on how things are progressing (or if they aren't). thanks in advance :loveshower:

Edited by starbuck

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Sleepingbagonthesofa

Hey Chiara! I'm crawling back to see how you feel about doing another couple for Yaxley? 

Story and Author Name, including link: Yaxley (M)

Warnings and Advisories: Consent Issues (Mild/Moderate), Hate Speech, Sexual Content, Substance Abuse, Violence

Genre: Romance, Drama, Angst

Length: Novel, 19000 so far.

Summary: Caught between a family one one side and sympathies with the other, Cassiel Yaxley starts her seventh year at Hogwarts attacked from both sides. Haunted by dark marks and hunted by people she once called friends, the only one who could help her may be the boy she has hated for six years.

Ships: Sirius/OC, James/Lily

Areas of Concern: Your thoughts on chapters and brilliant and really, you've already pointed out things about my characters I hadn't even noticed. So, whatever you think! 

Deni x

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Felpata_Lupin

@beyond the rain @starbuck @Sleepingbagonthesofa

Hey, there, my loves! :wub:  Just wanted to let you all know that I haven't forgotten you... I really wanted to complete all these requests this weekend, but I probably won't manage, but just know that I will get back to you as soon as I can!

Also, Bex, just a little note... 

On 6/18/2018 at 11:08 PM, beyond the rain said:

As far as what chapters you can review, if you don't have time to review them all (which is fine) then could you please review the last two chapters?

I apologize because I obviously didn't take much attention at your request at first... I will try to review till chapter 6 but, just as a reminder, my rule is 3/4 chapters per request, exclusively in order. Sorry for pointing this out, I get that it's difficult to get feedback on later chapters in long stories...

Anyway, I will try to get back to all of you soon! :hug:

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sunshine_locks

Chiara, hello! I finally have a chapter of Miracle up and I was wondering if you would review it?

Story and Author Name, including link: Miracle (M) by sunshine_locks

Warnings and Advisories: nothing as bad as the last chapter lmao. there are mentions of what happened last chapter, and some swearing but nothing too bad. 

Genre: Romance, Humor

Length: 4,975

Summary: She was told it was a miracle, but it was more akin to a curse, if one looked at how much she lost. 

Or alternatively: What would happen if a wizard gave a muggle a blood transfusion?

Ships: Albus/OC, Scorpius/OC

Areas of Concern: I just want your thoughts on it is all!

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beyond the rain

Story and Author Name, including link: That's All(M) by beyond the rain

Warnings and Advisories:  Consent Issues (Mild/Moderate), Derogatory Language, Sexual Content, Spoilers, Violence

Genre: Angst, AU, Drama, Fluff, Romance 

Length: Novel, 10 chapters currently over 50,000

Summary: A witch hides from the society that shunned her for being a muggleborn...and a slytherin. That is until two broken men, fighting on opposite sides of a war, give her no option but to return to the wizarding world. Magic hasn't managed to convince Clara that she belongs, but friends are more persuasive than any spell could be.

Ships: Remus/OC

Areas of Concern: There are currently four chapters left that you haven't reviewed - but one's coming out of the queue soon! So, if you could review the next three chapters from where you left off, that would be brilliant! There's no rush with these, I loved the reviews you left last time - and I'm looking forward to seeing them again!

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Felpata_Lupin

@Sleepingbagonthesofa I've reviewed other 3 chapters for you! And wow, I love how the story is developing, wonderful work! :wub:

@sunshine_locks and @beyond the rain I'll try to get back to you as soon as I manage. So sorry for the long wait, life is crazy... :couch:

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Felpata_Lupin

@sunshine_locks done! (Finally... so, so, so sorry for the long wait...)

@beyond the rain done the first chapter! I will review more in the next few days. (Once again, sorry for the wait, I'm the worst...)

:freeze: :grouphug:

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Pen2Paper
Posted (edited)

Hello! I'm back! Hoping to snag a spot here 'cause I can't get enough of your lovely reviews! Hope you don't mind.😬

Story and Author Name, including link: Heaven Can Wait(M) by Pen2Paper

Warnings and Advisories:  Hate Speech, Sexual Content, Substance Abuse (Prospective Advisories)

Genre:Romance, Drama

Length: Novel, 8 Chapters (Requesting for Chapter 3 onwards as you've already read one and two :) )

Summary: Basically my version of the Lily-James love story, how it began, how it changed and how it became what we know and love.

Ships: Main: James/Lily,  Minor: Sirius/OC, James/OC, Other Canon/OC

Areas of Concern: The story is very descriptive as that is my style, the chapters are on the longer side. I'm wondering if its all too much if the readers lose interest in the middle and if the story is compelling enough to keep reading. Is it (plot) entertaining enough to come back to? I'm also wondering about the continuation of characters and their voices as there are a lot of POVs, are they distinct and do they have their own voice? Do you feel a difference reading James and Lily and Mary etc? Sorry to bombard you with so many questions! Just wondering if my story is good enough... Thanks a million. 😘😘

Edited by Pen2Paper

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sunshine_locks
Posted (edited)

hi! i think you might enjoy this, so i am here? 

Story & Author Name: dum vivimus vivamus (M) by sunshine_locks
Warnings & Advisories: mentions of eating disorders, racism, and islamophobia
Genres: Angst, general, humor
Length: One-Shot, 18,227 Words
Ships: N/A
Summary: Reflections don't change, but people do. 
Areas of Concern: none really! comment on whatever you like! 

this is a pretty long one-shot, so if you decline, i'd understand!

Edited by victoria_anne
unrated mature link

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Lady Ausra

Would it be too much trouble if I grabbed a slot, Chiara?

Story & Author Name: The Grass Is Greener on the Other Side (Or So They Say) [M] by Rynna Aurelia
Warnings & Advisories: Swearing, brief/mentioned violence, discussion of child abuse (Nothing graphic).
Genres: Angst, Action/Adventure, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Drama
Length: 16 chapters, over 50K currently. (First couple chapters, for this request if it's convenient for you, then?)
Ships: James Potter/Lily Evans, various minor ships (Mostly Neville/Hermione at the moment). 
Summary: James and Lily are mysteriously resurrected during Halloween of Female!Harry's (Charlotte Potter) Fourth Year. From there, the aftereffects ripple throughout Hogwarts and the rest of the Wizarding World as a family tries to heal itself thirteen years later.
Areas of Concern: Characterization, characterization, characterization. (Wow, try saying that three times fast...) I'm really worried that I'm writing everyone inconsistently, and if my pacing and plotting's alright. Additionally, any constructive criticism would be much appreciated, if you'd be willing.

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Chemical_Pixie

Hey Chiara! If you're looking for more stuff to read/and review, you can continue from wherever you left off in my novel fic. ;) 

 

Story & Author Name: A Place Not Far From Here (M) by Chemical_Pixie
Warnings & Advisories: Derogatory Language, Domestic Abuse, Hate Speech, Sexual Content, Substance Abuse, Violence
Genres:  Action/Adventure, Dark/Horror, Mystery
Length: 25 chapters, over 100K words overall
Ships: James II/OC 
Summary: Attempting to stay one step ahead of The Cause, which violently echoes the time of Grindelwald, Amelia Fortescue faces truths she'd rather not admit, especially the ones related to James Potter. As she tries to make sense of her present, she needs to confront her past. Amelia must find her way, but it's not as far as she might think.
Areas of Concern: Any feedback is welcome.

 

P.S. I'm working on your request right now! :D 

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juls
[b]Story and Author Name, including link:[/b]A Marauder's Tail (A) by juls
[b]Warnings and Advisories:[/b]none
[b]Genre[/b]Harry Potter
[b]Length:[/b]1665 words
[b]Summary:[/b] A small tail of a rat named Scabbers before Harry and Ron return to Hogwarts
[b]Ships:[/b] none
[b]Areas of Concern:[/b] would enjoy some feedback, thanks!

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juls

Thank you so much for positive words! Poor Peter is so unwritten that it’s hard to find information on him. At least from my perspective.

I listed it as AU when I realized I wrote it for first year and not second (or beyond). That was my oops, lol. 

Thanks again!!

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Felpata_Lupin
36 minutes ago, juls said:

Thank you so much for positive words! Poor Peter is so unwritten that it’s hard to find information on him. At least from my perspective.

I listed it as AU when I realized I wrote it for first year and not second (or beyond). That was my oops, lol. 

Thanks again!!

You're very welcome! Glad you liked my review! I really enjoyed reading your story! :)

And as @facingthenorthwind said, if you ever want to discuss Peter, you know where to find me... :P

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Lady Ausra

So, I decided to return for more of your wonderful reviews from where you left off in my fic, if you're looking for things to review. :)

Story and Author Name, including link: The Grass is Greener on the Other Side (Or So They Say) [M] by Rynna Aurelia

Warnings and Advisories: Swearing, brief/mentioned violence, discussion of child abuse (Nothing graphic).

Genre: Angst, Action/Adventure, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Drama

Length: 15 chapters, over 50K currently.

Summary: James and Lily are mysteriously resurrected during Halloween of Female!Harry's (Charlotte Potter) Fourth Year. From there, the aftereffects ripple throughout Hogwarts and the rest of the Wizarding World as a family tries to heal itself thirteen years later.

Ships: James Potter/Lily Evans, various minor ships (Mostly some love triangle-y stuff). 

Areas of Concern: Characterization, as always. I'm paranoid about OOC-ness as well as how I deal with plotting, and I also recently started going through the story for a ton of editing because I am apparently that author. (Also, my chapter seven has a whole bit on my head-canon thingy on Peter Pettigrew, and I'd love to know what you think of it  :wub:) Additionally, any constructive criticism would always be much appreciated, especially considering you said you enjoyed what you read last time! 😊

Thanks a million, Chiara. :D

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Finefrenzy__

Hey Chiara, I would really appreciate one of your reviews :) It might not exactly be your cup of tea, so if you're not into it don't feel pressured.

 

Story and Author Name, including link:  Golden Girl [M] by Finefrenzy__

Fandom/Era: Next Gen
Warnings and Advisories: Severe Content Issues, Substance Abuse, Derogatory Language, Violence, Eating Disorders, Hate Speech and Sexual Content
Genre: Drama, Angst, Romance, Fluff
Length: approx 12k, though the prologue is just under 1000
Summary: We are a generation defined by the expectations upon us
Ships: Albus/OC
Areas of Concern: I'd appreciate feedback on the overall flow to the story. Does it read well? And just your general impression of the story.

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Felpata_Lupin

@Lady Ausra and @Finefrenzy__ I will try to complete your reviews by the end of this week. I was hoping to get more done this weekend but it turned out pretty busy... :P 

Can't wait to continue/start your stories! :wub:

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Felpata_Lupin

Update :D :

@Lady Ausra your reviews are done :wub:

@Finefrenzy__ I've done the prologue and I was typing the review for the next chapter but the battery of my laptop decided to forfait mid-way, so... :( I'll try to finish your reviews tomorrow... :hug:

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Felpata_Lupin

@Finefrenzy__ your reviews are done, too :D 

Send me your links, people! :wub:

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juls

Chiara - I'm back again with another Peter story for you to read and comment on! (Because we know you can't get enough!! :darkmark:)

Story and Author Name, including link: A Tail of Halloween Hi Jinks (T) by juls

Warnings and Advisories: none

Genre fluff, general, humor

Length:  2243

Summary: Halloween and pranks go together - in the most unusual ways, at times.

 

Thanks ever so much, in advance!!

 

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