Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 29 Jan 2019 11:19 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hey there!

 

I'm here with a review for the Magical Menagerie Review Event as well as the Gryffindor Red vs Gold Review event for January 2019! I just read another of your drabbles and really enjoyed it, so I thought I'd come take a look at this one as well.

 

OOh. This also has a very poetic format. It's the way you do one sentence per line and sort of shorter fragments instead of long winding sentences. In this piece, the repetition also adds a sort of poetic feel to it as well. Really cool.

 

I'm not a mother, so I have a hard time relating to the emotional content within this piece, but from a logical standpoint I think this makes sense. You cover a mother's (or father's) feelings while seeing all of these different moments as their child grows up. I think you managed to capture a lot of the important stuff.

 

I think you do a really good job at writing these short little vingettes. You manage to pack a lot of feeling into a really small word count and that is super impressive. I don't know how you do it. I really struggle when I have to write stuff this short.

 

Good job!

 

~Kaitlin

 

Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 04 Dec 2017 12:22 AM · For: Chapter 1

Oh, I wonder if this one is at all connected to your other drabble, “Son.” The theme is certainly similar. Do you think about being a parent a lot?

 

At first I thought the daughter would be a child for the entire story, but the way you touched on a bit throughout the years was really nice. I like the contrast of following dropping her off for kindergarten directly with her leaving on her own for high school.

 

I like that this stops around the wedding - I was afraid you’d make it dark by taking us up to one of their deaths!

 

This was really sweet!

 

Sam.

Name: TidalDragon (Signed) · Date: 04 Dec 2016 12:43 PM · For: Chapter 1

Howdy Hayden!

As I review my favorites from the drabble challenge, I am stopping here because I really enjoyed this story as a commentary on the parent-child relationship. Obviously this one is specific to a father-daughter dynamic, which I'm not as personally familiar with, but so much of it can also apply to any child and I think you struck the parental mindset well. I also enjoyed the symmetry at the beginning and end which I think was a nice choice!

Thanks for being such a vibrant participant in our Grand Opening Challenge and for sharing your work with us!

Name: abhorsen (Signed) · Date: 01 Dec 2016 05:26 PM · For: Chapter 1

I love the moments you chose to emphasize here - you picked them perfectly, and once again crammed so much feeling into so few words. You're so good at drabbles!

Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 21 Nov 2016 11:45 AM · For: Chapter 1

This is the relationship I want with my children. This is the relationship I had with my mother. Short and sweet is definitely your forte. With very few words you've conjured up this whole realm of emotion for me. Thank you, as always, for making me smile.

Name: Margaret (Signed) · Date: 20 Nov 2016 10:04 AM · For: Chapter 1

Aw, that's a lovely relationship. I wonder who these characters are and what else has happened in their lives.

Author's Response:

I'm inclined to believe that these character's are myself and my dad. I don't have the best relationship with him, and this is my way of 'showing (even though he'll never read it) how I wish I interacted with him.\

 

Thank you for reviewing,

Hayden,

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