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heyyyyyy taylor!! here (super late,, sorry!) for our review swap!! :)
you know, i have a real soft spot for quidditch-themed stories. they're not something i could ever write, haha - too much action and camaraderie :P - but they're so fun and so lively and when they're good they work so so well! so this was right my street. i lovelovelove the way you handle this au, too: it's just so seamless. there's no questioning it's an au but there's also nothing about it which feels weird or odd; it's just literally without the death eaters and voldemort, but still with Drama :P
omg i love your lily in this too. i've never seen a fic before where lily gets into quidditch - and especially not one where she's good at it. while i love the idea of people being bad at quidditch, or not interested in it (because there's a habit in fics for every. single. person. to be either good at it or invested) it's so exciting to see something different, yk?? and i LOVED the notes about how she's the only woman coach, one of only three women in that first team. sport is still an area which is waaaaay behind in equality and i loved that it's the same there - and ofc lily's still rising despite all of that.
also all of the sport notes omgggg the drills, the chalkboards and the tactics written up... ahhh it's all so good!! my dad was a director at a football club for a while, haha, so it's kinda fun to see an idea of what the inside of a quidditch club would look like: with all the different people and the way the coaching team and the board operate in slightly different circles. (though as an fyi, in uk clubs, the head coach would definitely have known they were looking at buying out jp - head coaches are always involved in transfers over here ;))
and ofc it's james and ofc he and lily have history and ofc it's a complicated history and ofc there's gonna be fireworks :D :D :D
that last section was so good: flashbacks are hard to make work but it works so well and i loved the way it kinda went back to almost the moment things started falling apart: when lily caught feelings and james got a professional contract offer. there were so many emotions in it, too - it was such a vivid section, and a lovely slower change of pace after all the action in the first one!!
also i loved the way mcgonagall lets james call her minnie when he tells her he's got a professional offer lololol but it's so in character :P
ahhhh this is such a great first chapter omg
laura xx
Hey Taylor! Here with your requested review!
I loved the scene with Marlene and Lily. Marlene is such a great character here, and their dynamic feels so natural. It was also the perfect balance of description and dialogue - enough information about Lily's feelings and the Quidditch world but the scene also kept moving. I really enjoyed it! Honestly, if you wrote a series about Marlene and her time in the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts office, I would totally read that.
Lily looking through old photos was so sweet, I really loved that part.
Great chapter, I enjoyed reading it so much!
okay now i'm here for our swap
godd i am so excited to meet james even if he's a dick + the head boy badge in the picspam is like :eyes: + "you want battle? i'll give you war" is my favorite thing, like *legit*
oh my god you guys someone who's a dick is probably gonna be a pretty shitty teammate don't get too excited
"maybe the dread will be worse" i am not optimistic about this statement being accurate, unfortunately
oh goddd yeah totally valid that in person is way more alarming, *ugh*, i hate it when hot people are fuckers
(i say as though there have not been people who have pretty explicitly characterized me in similar ways to that) (but whatever)
hahahahaha lily saaame karma should do something about that ughhh
james, my dude, you didn't bother to look up coaching staff at your new team??? what, are coaches beneath you or some shit??? you fucker
also him just being like "oh my god how could you say such a thing" is a little like... dude idk what happened between y'all exactly but how did you not realize that you haven't spoken to her in years and maybe she'd be less than thrilled about you just ignoring her??? like????
oh goddd i hate it when hot people are competent fuckers, like at least do us the courtesy of being just a pretty face, ffs
(i say as though there have not been people who have pretty explicitly characterized me in similar ways to that) (but whatever)
Oh My God dude, fucking harrison, you aren't supposed to say that shit to people, it's rude af
oh god the boys club inside joke bullshit i don't have enough eye rolls in my soul for this
james you fucker, both for noticing you've pissed her off from her fucking knuckles (who *does* that ffs) and also for being proud it ughhh
james you were so nice what happened, you fucker
hiiii here for gift tag <3
oh goddd lily "too rowdy and disorderly" :joy: it's not that it's necessarily unfair, it's just that it's fucking funny
the leering dudes thing though is like +10000, it's never fun to have men leer but somehow when it's like "you are old enough to be my father/grandfather" it's an extra special sort of grimy and gross
did i ever tell you about how i once screamed at a man in like his 60s/70s who made some comment to me when i was about 16 "what's wrong with you, you're old enough to be my grandfather!!" in the middle of the street? literally screamed, everyone was staring :joy: good times
*anyway*
lolololol he'd have to be getting *Insanely* bad press to not be worth it to a professional team if he's that good, i was about to make a comment about criminal shit but nope you already did that so yeahhh i concur
"he was a prick and then he grew out of it, you would've thought he'd stay that way" YOU WOULD THINK like come on, james, what's the point of character growth (tm) if you're just not gonna stick with it, i mean *really*
ooof "lily's not that naive anymore" poor lily but also what you've said about neither of them being uhhh perfect in this kind of makes me wonder what she had to do with the friendships being ruined?? chicken meet egg??
okay so making a review all about me briefly (sort of sorry but sort of meh, this is part of my character concept that you won't judge me for) (yes i referred to my personality as a character concept) (if anybody else is reading this review you can't judge me i'm not leaving something this incoherent and parentheses-laden and self-centered on your fic okay) (hopefully)
ANYWAY
i think that small apartments are lowkey underrated?? like i don't want a fucking studio, but like i like being aware of all the rooms, my house was pretty big growing up and when everyone would go away good *fuck* it was jarring, especially since it was an old house that fucking *settled* and *creaked* and i was just like "nessa/aster, protect me please" like they were going to do anything if somebody broke in, pathetic little shelties who were the best, i love them
tl;dr lily's apartment sounds nice
ohh godddd i hate that feeling re: quidditch though, when you're like "i fucking hate your guts but also you were kind of my gateway into a thing i love which makes me lowkey (highkey?) resent you even more, and also you are the reason repression exists, fuck you"
just me? i mean probably not just me i feel like
fair? maybe not totally but fuck fair
oh james why did you become a dick
why
you seem so sweet in the flashback
you fucker
Hey Taylor, I am here for our swap, i think, because you left me one review today and I remembered we had a swap a week ago but did not remember if I had actually delivered, so here I am now and sorry if I've forgotten, and thank you for your review <3 <3
Good for Lily and Benjy to be openly just enjoying the one thing and not like get invovled in any of each other's drama, like seeing Lily embrace her sexuality and the need and openness to safe consensual casual sex is so refreshing to see. I get that they both try to avoid conversations, because that's where I think most of these friends with benefits get tricky, you just can't avoid some sort of intimacy in this situation and then it's more likely you'll get hurt, and so they're very smart about it. Still, though, I liked Benjy being blunt about Lily's situation. He doesn't know her and might be wrong, but it might at least incite Lily to reevaluate some of her feelings? Which brings me to the broom cupboard argument, which was so so so well done, the back and forth, the intensity of that conversation, like they both had so much fire, and i'm so conflicted because even though Lily seems to be dead convinced about what kind of a person James is now (and he did seem to just disappear from her life which isn't cool), he still makes compelling arguments for his case as well. And she seems to be beyond listening, and it's just so so hard to tell if it's fair or not, I DON'T KNOW, but still, I'm personally also leaning more towards the side of 'tabloids are a fucking cancer and they are out there specifically to ruin people's lives' and you never really know what any individual is going through. Like, she has deep dark secrets, maybe others do too. Yet there is something so very raw and authentic about Lily's fury and rage, a deeper hurt I think she's keeping well hidden even from herself that feeds her anger at James, and her almost desire to be angry with him and to hate him.
And thaaat brings me to the flashback, and so I've read yours is red in underlined, and I think it was mentioned somewhere that it's directly a prequel to this?? and I remember that was tough and traumatic, and it suddenly just felt like a punch in the teeth when i was reminded what this Lily had gone through, if I'm correct in my assuming. And I feel like the rug has been pulled from underneath my feet here, that we're not just playing romance and quidditch here, there's still a war going on. I BET JAMES IS ALSO AN UNDERGROUND ORDER DUDE, ISN'T HE??
I loved the conversation with Dumbledore, the way you wrote him was just so...on point. Though I don't love he's like recruiting young students lol, tf :D have some fucking boundaries, Albus, wait for them to be of age ?? But still, also I am into it because I love drama and destiny and duty and Lily's ultimate reasons and choice to do it, to fight, because who else will fight for her if not herself, that was fucking epic and i loved it.
Your writing is...it's so so good, it's very enjoyable, i honestly and truly mean that. The way you write from Lily's perspective, present her thoguhts and feelings, it's very clever, intelligent, and it has all the emotion that just makes me lose myself in these characters three chapters in.
Eli
okkkayyyyy back for chapter six of james and lily (taylor’s version)
that was a waste of that joke but i’ll be making it a lot so get used to it. anyway i’m here for our swap and i’m sorry i’m so late!
excuse me i’m going to have to take a moment to recover from “alright evans?” and we’ve literally only just started. my god. just… okay i’m fine now. outstanding way to start and to kick the jily-loving bit of my heart solidly in the balls there, taylor.
…. ANYWAY AGAIN
how many hormones are going to have to fly around before they finally just shag in this? like come on. lily getting irrationally angry about him treating other girls as disposable because that’s what she thinks he did is all sorts of heartbreaking. also part of my thinks james is actually far more hurt by how she’s acting than he lets on, he definitely still likes her. like a lot. just stubborn idiots gotta be stubborn idiots i guess.
so i stopped with the live reviewing for a moment just to like read and adore that scene with sirius because omg he’s with remus and james in his lily mood and buying a house and bookshop and all of those amazing things and now also scream-singing AND THE STORY’S GOT DUST ON EVERY PAGE very loudly in my head. i love that sirius invites her round, given her reaction it seems as though he would have sided with james before but he’s older now.
the ending with just the tiny bit of hope is also just precious.AND NOW I’M SHOUTING AGAIN BECAUSE THAT ENDINGGGGG! it’s like prime hogwarts jily fluffy slow-burn novel goodness and it’s just so perfect i want more. THE PUNS. THE PUNNNNS. and more than that i want them to get back to that level of comfort. i want more now…. i hate when i catch up with your novels because it means i have to wait for more lol.
this was brilliant and thank you for swapping!
d x
Taylor! I'm here with your review request (and ooh yay, more chapters available to this Jily story since I last checked this out! :))
I love women in control of their sexual destiny's and that is what you give Lily in this chapter. The intro with Benjy gives us another aspect of her character that just play into her no nonsense, hardened attitude.
I particularly enjoyed how you conveyed this: "They do this every time - someone flees the scene and puts distance between the two of them almost immediately after they fuck. Lingering too long in the aftermath, letting the intimacy of the situation wash over them, is something both parties are keen on avoiding."
It is an interesting component to this friends with benefits situation and not something I thought of, but something that feels totally realistic. The way you described that I was like "oh uhm same," anytime I think about sexual encounters that I'd rather not hah.
Of course, Lily and James were going to have a head to head moment where they expressed their issues to one another. I am curious as to how James is going to work his way out of the evidence that appears to be stacked against him. But I am sure you have it all planned out and will WOW ME like you always do hah. ;)
Ok, so I really LOVED this flashback. I am REALLY intrigued by this backstory you have created with Lily and her incognito role in The Order. Gimme more. I need to knowww. Also, A+ Dumbledore dialogue. And it also seems like him to recruit students and like damn, he's so bold about it here as compared to when he does it with Harry. But I mean, it's a different time and so I can buy it.
Another great chapter! Thanks for writing!
<3 Courtney
Hi Taylor, here for your forum request, sorry it took so long!
I was so excited for them to meet for the first time in years! And the tension was so intense, I had stomach knots almost. It was interesting to see James be completely bewildered by Lily's harshness toward him, which makes me wonder whether he's really so careless with his actions toward other people, or he's in some sort of denial, or what ACTUALLY HAPPENED??
You did so well describing Lily's mind and anxiety and sleeplessness before that first meeting, because yes, it totally is way worse the trepidation before the meeting actually happens, and it did feel like she felt less stressed and more amped after seeing him, amped to like...low-key destroy him? :D or, you know, show him she's absolutely amazing at this job and feels nothing for him (though that is a lie, of course, haha). I also loved the scene where she watched James play and put the animosity aside and just watched the magic of the game. I don't care much for Quidditch most of the time, but the way you described it here through her perspective made it sound quite compelling. Another little tidbit I liked, though, was Lily's remarking on the fact that just because James is magical on the field, doesn't mean he can be an asshole, which is an important thing to remember when it comes to talented people. They don't get to have a free pass for doing bad things just because they're good at something - happens in the sports world so often, after all. It was just very insightful.
Oh these flashbacks, I really love them, they have this strong nostalgic atmosphere of Hogwarts and school that I like, and James is just kinda wonderful in them, and it always makes me wonder even more what happened. Like, he's so earnest here, to let her know He's Head Boy ahead of time, and asking for her help?? aaaaagh, and the fact that he doesn't want to fail at it, doesn't want to just half-ass it feels like a very James thing to do, because he does strike me as the type of character that would just not back down from any kind of challenge, even if it's being an official student leader with a shiny badge.
Great chapter and I can't wait to see how the interaction between James and Lily keeps developing!
Eli
hey taylor! i'm here with your review and i'm super excited to be digging into your quidditchfic :)
i'm already in love with the idea of lily being a training coach. i can honestly say i haven't read a fic with that as her job post-hogwarts, but her percision and her attention to detail and love for research makes it kind of a perfect fit. and i love how you've slowly started teasing out these little hints of backstory - of how she wasn't really into quidditch at first, and only started going to games later. i'm gonna assume here that her history with quidditch has a lot to do with james, but i also get the feeling that she genuinely loves it for herself, too. she seems to just have fun coaching, and i love that she isn't afraid to criticise the team but she'll tell them when they're doing a good job, too. i really feel like that's the sign of a good coach and i'm very curious to learn more about her relationships with the other players
oooh. and james is going to be the third chaser for the starting team - because of course he is, why wouldn't he be? and they obviously have a history here, one that you've sort of been teasing throughout this first chapter, but i am very, very curious to know what it is. it doesn't seem like they were in a relationship, but oh my god, were they one of those almost couples? like, they almost could've been together if they'd gotten themselves together? because, not gonna lie, i love that. honestly love that even more than exes. ALL THE ANGST. THE POTENTIAL ANGST, TAYLOR, I AM HERE FOR IT
also, don't think i didn't catch those taylor swift lines at the end, 10/10, well done :P also, your writing, 10/10, beautiful and effortless as ever. i love how casual this fic reads, if that even makes sense
but ooof, that last bit. lily is so genuinely happy for james, and he clearly doesn't see her. i mean, maybe he does, but he's blindsided by the fact that he got a professional offer (again, can't really blame him, it's a big thing when your dreams suddenly come true). also i snorted at the fact that he called professor mcgonagall minnie becaus only james would have the guts to do something like that and not get away with it, because he's james freaking potter. obviously
i did really enjoy that inclusion of the flashback at the end of this chapter; i think it provided just a tiny hint of why lily's going to react the way she does when james joins the team, but we still don't know what happened. and i suspect we won't know for quite a while, but that's okay, because i'm definitely here for it
(also lowkey want to live in a world where instead of war, lily and james get to play/coach quidditch in the future)
also, gorgeous picspam as always, 10/10
so, i loved this, and your writing as always ♥ thanks for dropping into my request thread!
hi here for our swap and also i need to finally read this
okay so can i say that this sounds like a truly excellent job, like i'm not even joking, picking apart every flaw and imperfection is something i both deeply enjoy and excel at
(in terms of making shit better, not everyone loves the nitpicking)
(actually you have seen an example of nitpicking :joy: so you know what i mean)
lololol "well the reasoning doesn't matter much anymore" please insert the "yeah okay" jennifer lawrence gif here, it feels v warranted
anyway though i am glad that they recognize that play experience is uhh not everything? like there is a tendency i think for people to be like "you were a good player so clearly you will be a good coach" and that is not true, it's kind of the same rationale that's like "you are good at a thing so you can teach the thing" and no those are different skills
oooof no third chaser i am fairly certain i know where this is going +100 9.9 out of 10 highly recommended etc etc (why am i, i am so sorry)
"pureblood estate sale" :joy: :joy: :joy: something about that concept brings me *intense* joy and amusement
we should write some shit fic for the lolz with listings for a pureblood estate sale
actually i said that as a joke but that could be entertaining as fuck
we should actually do that in our copious amounts of free time
yuppp that was where i thought this was going (clearly i am Deeply Insightful) (also fucking *valid* lily)
goddamnit james
ffs
Hey Taylor, here for your forum request! :)
I was instantly drawn in here (your picspams by the way, are so so beautiful, and really set the mood so well, and make my imagination go crazy) because obviously after the last chapter, I am DYING to know the full scoop of what happened to make Lily so anti-James, and this was a really perfect opportunity to shed some light on it, having a drink with a friend to vent. It also provided an interesting seting, somewhat ugh with the old men staring, but it was great to be in Lily's head for that moment, to see what she was thinking. I liked especially how she was musing about beauty, and I am so happy she learned to acknowledge and appreciate her own beauty, and refuse society's tendency to somehow make pretty girls feel guilty for being pretty (while on the other hand also hating on less attractive women, you can just never win, eh? fuck them all then!). it is also liberating I think when it comes to writing and describing characters.
Lily herself honestly can't tell the difference between high-end and low-end alcohol - lol, me too Lily, me too.
I loved Marlene in this chapter, how lively she was, how supportive, and stunning and just there for Lily. And their dialogue felt very real and flowed naturally, and it provided all this useful info. I'm already fascinated by James' descent into another ego-filled lifestyle, though I kind of suspect something had to be behind him just 'abandoning' Lily, though maybe I'm wrong, but like...those flashbacks and the photographs, clearly he felt something. And I'm not saying men aren't capable of this lol because they definitely are :D :D I'M JUST REALLY REALLY CURIOUS OK?? :D
Also, kudos to Lily for saying 'I don't like him now, the way he is' and I believe her. Though does she truly know what's up with him? I guess we'll have to figure it out. But at the end of the day, if he just outright ghosted her, that's not okay, no matter the reason behind it. So yeah, burn that shit!! Also wow, that's quite impressive in a strange way that Lily would keep the cutouts of him being photographed in those places and situations, like some kind of self-torture, and it feels like a parallel to how people often torture themselves by following their exes on social media and just subjecting themselves to this kind of suffering so they can feel something, maybe weed out the pain quicker, i dunno, but it felt like a clever narrative thingy (lol, good vocab, eli) to me.
Great chapter, Taylor, I really enjoyed this!
Eli
Hi Taylor, here for our swap!
This is such a unique setup. Lily is so often anti-Quidditch, that I'm excited to read about her being a pro, but like not a player, rather in her own way, using other skills to understand the game and strategy, and applying it to the team. It's definitely something that I find plausible and of course interesting. She seems very dedicated, passionate, like when she describes her day and how she is working in her office, how it's this cozy place for her, and it feels to me like she's just one of these people that find immense joy and fulfillment in her job. Also, the little detail of her brewing her own potions instead of buying pre-brewed stuff, and how she thought that'd be her career once upon a time, but then things changed, all of it is a nice touch.
I was wringing my hands the entire time, wondering when James would enter the picture. I knew he'd become the third Chaser and while I am so here for it, and very much am joining the round of applause lol, I can see why Lily probably feels the complete opposite. I mean, the way you've described it, her seeing absolute red, was quite strong and effective in making me believe that they're not on good terms at all.
And then the flashback! Like it was just so well done, because it's so teasing, but not all revealing, like we still don't know exactly what happened after James got the letter, only that Lily was falling in love with him and her thoughts in that flashbacks, her feelings, her lingering on his eyes and posture and wanting him to kiss her...it was so beautifully earnest and genuine! Oh and I love how James called McGonnagal Minnie and she just went with it, proud of her Quidditch boi.
turning her bright red from the inside out
I love this line so much, because 'face going red' or 'turning as red as her hair' just becomes a typical descriptor for a character like Lily, and characters in genera, but you took it and twisted it into like this unique image of being bright red inside out and i love it.
This is a very exciting start! I am actually super excited (and worried lol) for what's going to happen when they meet again :D
Eli
im curious as to what her assignment is
even tho the setting makes me nauseous she sure knows how to work it and get results
that does sound like bullshit indeed
yeah i can kind of see why it feels that way
damn thats a lot of hatred
that sounds so goddamn frustraing, not having the evidence and everything
good job lil
that sounds fucking horrid
it may be useful training but fuuuuuuuck i dont envy them
and of course lily is distracted
youre so not over him
lily pls its prob not a good time to get dstracted
lily pls just admit it
oh he def noticed
he still has feelings for you jesus
this just proves my point
lily pls theres more to it just talk and dont judge
that is def an odd mixture of colors
damn he just tells her
ah yeah this explains so much
youre into him lily godddd act on it
wait benjy? where is this coming from
oh i see
and this is prob a great time to yknow let the steam off
valid point
all valid points, really
good hunch
i still think he never got over lily
lily stop lying to yourself
im w benjy
youre not over him lily thats why
sure, lily
HE IS NOT OVER YOU EITHER LILY GODDAMNIT
i can imagine mari’s life like god
im sure youve got something else in plan, james
yeahh he has
this is gon be a trainwreck
i need popcorn or something
lily you are so not over him
i swear there is more to his side of the story pls listen lily
he is missing the point or hes skipping over it on purpose
he didnt lie indeed
srsly where is my popcorn im not gon wake my cat up to get it but fuck
i still think something happened that he doesnt want to tell or admit or whatever
oh hes effectively trapping her by leaning against that door
there is def more
good point
he so does have feelings omg
lily no
god this is a trainwreck
listen to his side of the story damnit
james brings up v good points
she truly isnt listening indeed and i really need his pov
l i s t e n t o h i m
oh this just took an interesting turn
yeah id say that even w a far less good team being a person behind would put you at a disadvantage
keeping a record is a good thing to do
honestly thats a mood
and of course ppl who dont have a history w james are excited
yeahhhh good plan
jup makes sense
yeaaaaaaah i also feel that
yeahhh now shes also going to have to deal with those images whihc i suppose aint helpful
thats often the case
oops this is gon be interesting
yeahhh this is truly gon go well
yeah she is so not over him
i still wonder if he did that just to avoid his own feelings re lily bc gpddamn HOW DIDNT THEY END UP TOGETHER
that is a mood
yeah there were prob feelings involved from his side too fuck this is a trainwreck and im here for it
you legit cant tell me he didnt know
probably since you got her on the team in seventh year
okay thats a valid point in james’ corner but also in lilys
again what the fuck happened
lily pls dont explode
i repeat what the fuck happened
at least she got james speechless
mood
yeah but again maybe listen to his side of the story too idk
did harry get that from him
that does sound great
but how did she get her start
i dont think he will
see even lily sees it that way
yeah there is def more to his side of the story
bit slow there harrison
what s he up to
yeah i imagine james is still trying to figure shit out but also falling back in his old pattern re her and im here for it
hes def got a hidden agenda
absolutely he does.
i need his pov from all of this pretty please
ooooh here we go
that is v thoughtful james, also id also have owled dumbledore
good on you james
damn james, and youre not even asking remus? daaang
and back for ch 2!
i feel for lily BUT ALSO WHAT HAPPENED but also it does legit suck to be forced in a position you really dont want to be in
jup this seems like the obv solution
they definitely are
can we punch those men? repeatedly? in a place where the sun doesnt shine?
seriously fuck men
that is a talent
lol, but even still she could work it
i still want to know what the fuck happened
that is the understatement of the year
yeah except he didnt
its gon be rough
fucking rich ppl buying everything they can bc who cares they have enough money anyway
aand fuck capitalism too, btw
oh my fucking god thats so shite
WHAT HAPPENED
what has happened to james bloody hell
honestly what happened
now im even more confused
imagine if you had bet on that bc holy fuck theyd be damn rich
but did he forget about her
honestly, i feel that. if it happens one time too many then you never get back from it
hahaha i doubt itll happen bc money
do i want to know what happens with those artifacts
is this really a good idea
OH LILY WAS A SEEKER?
HOW THE FUCK DIDNT THEY END UP TOGETHER? LIKE HOW?
also i dont believe for a second he forgot about her
EVERYONE THOUGHT SO
i want to hug lily
honestly what happened to james
yeah you cant really do that i think
that sounds like a good way to deal with it but also you wont be able to escape it all
of course its that picture that burns the last
AGAIN HOW DIDNT THEY END UP TOGETHER?
hiii taylor! im finally here to leave you reviews i owed you for the challenge so here we are!
oooh interesting careerchoice for lily! i dont think we see careers like this often enough and it’s a nice refreshing thing honestly
damn those must me damn fast turns
oh they dont have a full team? daaang
now i want to know the reasoning
damn seventh year till she joined? the team?
loving the drive she has there
so they have a full reserve team? but no third chaser? is it bc the reserve chasers dont fit in well enough with the starting line up or?
ah yeah we have the explanation right there
shes got a good workout in then damn
being home at noon sounds like a dream, honestly
so why didnt she go into potionmaking, like, she obv excels at this but is it that she found she was good at this that she didnt go that way? i might be too curious
sounds like a cozy office
aaand there we have the explanation. nice to see i was right
its so annoying when owners are calm about it bc then it either goes to absolute shit or they are going to pull a stunt that can help them but its only mostly for their own personal gain and ugh
oh boy that doesnt sound good
yeah that really doesnt sound good
especially if nobody knows what the fuck is going on
they have a new chaser? or is it something else?
oh this is probably going to go over soooo well for lily
wait what the fuck did he do? but also i was right re lily
james just got his dreamjob didnt he
holy shit what an offer
IT DID SOUND LIKE A GODDAMN LETS KISS MOMENT AND THEN HE DOES THAT FUCKING HELL JAMES
yes disappointment is damn right
LOOOOOOOOOOL ‘hey minnie’ im like crying here rn, mcg knows before his own parents do im dead
ah yeah that sounds like a mcg reaction. gotta love her
BUT THAT STILL DOESNT ANSWER MY QUESTION RE WHAT HAPPEEND GODDAMNIT TAYLOR
i’m gonna start at the end here and say that after reading all of what came before i’m sort of gutted for poor wee hogwarts lily, she’s got no idea what’s coming but she’s so adorable. they are so adorable.
guess it’s my turn now to stop reading mid sentence and whisper IF A MAN TALKS SHIT THEN I OWE HIM NOTHING to myself lol. ahhhhhh dark!lily angsty dark scary blonde lily! i knew we were going to see her at some point but i totally love this. the way you describe the purebloods just feels really icky, and that’s entirely the point so well done lol, it is sort of ironic how one of the most powerful in their ranks is a woman and yet the whole way their way of life is sit up just treats women like baby machines or pretty objects. the deal with alzibar is pretty clever, and i love how much thought you’ve put into this, it feels different to the first few chapters, like even the tone has transformed with lily. so is it bad that i sort of like will? i kind of ship it, maybe not him and lily but him and calypso…. who is lily bit idk you know what i mean. there’s an au in it somewhere. anyway i'm continuing to love all of the ts references. i like that each of the chapters are maybe not what i’d figured they’d be for each song but they totally fit. so………… when i first started reading the second half of this chapter i was sliek this is really cool we get to see some of you ptness coming through and it gives it a real air of making lily really good at her job and like knowing what she’s talking about etc but then james takes his shirt off and i’m now howling because you’re right it’s like the whole thing goes hormone crazy and "something catch your eye, evans?" abewdbdwuyerfbuyqfbywb AHHHH! it took us five chapters for the first keyboard smash but oh my god. so this session of lily and james mentally wanting to fuck eachother is interupted by james back in a club and lol i can’t help but think that maybe he did that just to annoy her, like he knew she’d find out, and it would really fuck her off.
soooo you know the drill….. more please!
d x.
veni, vidi, foxi
Hi hello I am here for review event shenanigans.
So I love the descriptions of Lily pretending to be a pure blood and infiltrating the ranks of the Death Eater-aligned pureblood society as a spy for Dumbledore. Her narration of her work and her opinions of the different purebloods she was spying on – and also her musings on her methods – were really interesting and super well done.
I really liked the workout scene. It doesn’t surprise me at all that Lily would incorporate Muggle fitness into Quidditch, and also I love the description of the circuit, it sounds absolutely awful and amazing. ZOMG shirtless James, and I love how “deer in the headlights” Lily is over it even though she’s seen him shirtless before. Also, that comment about wondering what James could do with his fingers is so *has died* I love how she also noticed that he was doing the same thing she was and failing miserably at trying to be discreet. They’re such idiots in that regard, they’re perfect for each other.
I also loved the flashback scene. James and Lily tucked into a teensy little alcove together? The sexual tension between them was super obvious and super well written and I loved it. Also, the part where Lily realizes where her favourite colour came from… so cute, and also she was gone.
I loved this and I’ll be back for chapter 6 when it is posted!
~Liv
okay so i’m totally starting at the end but lily in the order!! or what i assume is the order, i had almost forgotten that this was still going to be a thing in this fic but it’s such a nice segway into it, reminds us that there’s more in her life than quidditch and james drama and that there’s like *real* shit going on (not to put down the importance of quidditch or james drama, that is still of vital importance). i love the straightforwardness of her making her decision, like she maybe needed time to think about it at first but then her friend gets hurt and there’s something just a bit too close to home, literally, and she’s straight into the office. it’s very her, sums her up very well. all of this really ignites this darker undertone to the fic, and i love that you’ve waited until now to bring it in. also it maybe adds a new meaning to some of lily’s bitterness towards james, like he really turned his back on all of them when all of this was going on, though maybe i’m just reading into things too much here.
ANYWAY.
benjy. i love the straightforwardness about him, like he knows why he’s there, he gets it happily and then he’s off, and really from the sounds of things doesn’t want to get involved in lily’s drama. i can appreciate that, sometimes we all need someone who’s like *actually* only interested in one thing. oh my god and then we get arguing in a broom closet and my wee heart………. It’s fluttering away. they’ve got this electric chemistry, even if right now it’s coming out in the form of airing years of built up anger on lily side and outrage at what james apparently sees as an unjust opinion of him she has. it’s interesting some of the points he makes… maybe lily is just too blinded by her own ideas of him to see the truth. the ikywt references as well were perfect, and it really seems the perfect song for their history, like he blew into her world, became her whole world and then vanished, leaving a lily that lost james but also sort of lost the old lily as well.
this chapter was brilliant, i love the way all the threads of this story are starting to shine, the different aspects of it now starting to come to light. love this story and i’m so happy we’re finally getting to read it!! i’m not so patiently awaiting the next chapter!
deni x
veni, vidi, foxi
Hey Taylor,
I'm here for the reviewing event!
I love the graphic at the beginning, I just had to say it first of all. Your characterisation for Lily is amazing. She is such a layered and flawed characters but I think you've always been so good at creating a whole person who you write, a person that feels real and makes mistakes that aren't framed as something more romantic. There are just flaws, it makes your writing feel so rich and your characters are so interesting.
I love Marlene from the first sentence she spoke. I think she is so great, like sharp minded and funny. I think I need her as my best friend. Lily and Marlene have some chemistry, their dialogue seems easy and natural like they've just known each other forever. You're also really good at dialogue so I shouldn't be too surprised about how good their dynamic is.
Bless Lily for keeping all those photos of her time in Hogwarts, all those memories with James. I can't wait to meet James now because he sounds like an idiot. I love Lily burning the photos, it's such a gryffindor thing to do. I want to know why Lily is quite as bitter as she is about the situation. I thought a powerful line about how James was such a big part of introducing her into Quidditch. He was always going to mean a lot to her. I love a flashback, I think it's a really good story telling device for what you're doing to achieve as it replies a lot on the back story! I think these little memories flesh out their dynamic perfectly so far.
I can't wait to see what else you do with this story!
Abbi xx
Hi Taylor! Here for the review event.
First of all I really like the dynamic between Lily and Benjy. It fits so well with what we know about Lily from the previous three chapters. Also I loved Benjy’s characterization of James becoming “a bit of a twat” after graduating. While I obviously don’t know the backstory yet, judging from the last chapter that’s a hilariously mild way to phrase things. Benjy also seems very able to understand the actual reason behind why Lily is so mad at James. You wrote their argument really well and it adds so many more questions that I’m now curious about. James seems so outraged that Lily would think he’s a terrible person that I can’t think that he’s entirely lying, but also Lily is SO mad at him that she can’t be wrong either. I loved the flashback, especially the parts where Lily was complaining about how boring the Slug Club networking was. I love how she didn’t even know Mr. Dragonguy’s name. I think you did a really good job writing Dumbledore and also the ending with her motivations for joining the Order sounds very much like Lily.
This was a great chapter and I will be back promptly when the next one is posted!
~Liv
Hi Taylor! I’m here for the review event.
I love your description of Lily as being someone taking notes at practice and how she’s quite aware of his feelings regarding James coming to her team. Of course Lily ends up bumping o nto James when she’s deliberately trying to avoid him, although part of me thinks that just getting an initial conversation over with would be better. I love that Lily’s dual reaction to seeing James for the first time is simultaneously “oooohhh wow” and “still a fucking asshole”. I really liked their conversation – you can tell that there’s a lot of baggage there, especially on Lily’s side, but you didn’t give it all away. Also their conversation with Harrison in Lily’s office was super well written and so was her thoughts afterwards and left a lot of hints. I really liked the flashback scene as well. You did a great job showing how James was beginning to mature but was still kind of mischievous. This was a great chapter and I look forward to the next one *waggles eyebrows*
~Liv
Another great chapter here Taylor! I love the push/pull dynamic of Lily's feelings for James that we see internally and then how it continues whenever they're reunited again. I absolutely love that she's not taking any shit from him. Not completely knowing what he did to her, but having some semblance of an idea, I'd say he deserves to be taken down a few notches.
I really enjoyed your descriptions of Quidditch and how Lily kind of gets carried away with watching James. When you're familiar with a sport, it definitely is hard to shut down that critical part of your brain, but if the person is good enough, sometimes you don't even notice. So that section kind of resonated with me.
I appreciate the honest portrayal of post-practice Lily. I think that's such a valid feeling whenever you work anywhere and the workload is slow. I love the image of her trying to scramble to appear busy and nonchalant whenever she hears James and Harrison coming down the corridor. It was humorous. And then their verbal power struggle in front of Harrison had me with my fist in my mouth. You built the tension really well in that moment.
I also love your flashbacks at the end. Earnest James has me swooning. I love how he wants to do a good job, and I think this shows him maturing. Which is interesting because it seems like he's reverted back to his immature self in the present of this fic (according to Lily and the press). So it's like his maturity level is kind of in flux. But I don't mean that as a criticism because you've explained it through fame going to his head.
Anyway, another fantastic chapter, Taylor! I can't wait to see where you go with this next!
<3 Courtney
* team ice otter *
Taylor! I am back with a review for this story!
I love the intro with Lily not really being one to partake in drink. I think it's a logical choice with her as a trainer and I also think it's great to see this represented in stories. I feel like when I'm lazy, I just make characters drink, so I'm glad to see one that will do it, if the occasion calls for it, but is not a regularly participant. And I loved the friendship with her and Marlene. It feels so authentic and you can tell they have been friends for a long time based on this interaction. :)
Also the moment with the pictures was great! I feel like as a writer, you can do and show so much with pictures. Sometimes it captures an authentic moment, sometimes it captures the facade of one...I really think you made some significant points with this whole section of Lily revisiting her past through photographs. This was my favorite line from that scene: "But past-James, the boy who always brought her sweets while she was studying and made her laugh even on her worst days and would've died to defend the people he cared about… she misses him." Past-James sounds so sweet. I swoon for past-James. Bring past-James to the present. ;) You know, since she burned the photographs, he needs to return in the flesh hah.
And that ending! Gahh...the implication that James went too far with her and then vanished is apparent. I feel bad for her and I hope she'll be ok. :( But you know, dangling something tragic with the promise of a "maybe," happy ending will get me to read on every time. ;)
Anyway, thanks for writing!
<3 Courtney
* left for the winter fairyland event, team ice otter *
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