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Hi Jacque, I am FINALLY back for your last chapter of a madness most discreet <333
AHHHHH WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME
I love how you have him come back to his childhood home one more time. The way he describes his mother, adorned in jewels and high society, but knocked out on the couch. And his passed father and Sirius' room, it's all so beautiful. And it really feels like he's walking through a still life of his childhood, like this is the last day anything will ever happen for the Black family. Like everyone has slowed down and he is bringing them to a halting stop. Idk, I just really loved the descriptions of him walking up to his room.
And the comparisons between him and Sirius get me again. How Sirius is steady and he is malleable and foolish. And the reminder that he thought he was going to be freed by this journey </3 he really is just a heartbroken mess, isn't he? AND the whole Peter Pan imagery comes back in this chapter that reflects on his family. and of course at the end, you're really getting me with this.
I love his shaky hand as he writes the last message, knowing where he's going and what's going to happen. I can't believe this is truly the end, I know they're dead, but I want more Jacque <33
Thanks for this wonderful story
Cat
Hi Jacque!! Back for the galazy :)
Okay one thing I forgot to mention last chapter was the title 'lost boy', very sneaky with your peter pan references
Oh GOSh that section remembering her telling him the story is so good and painful, and "it's human to be tethered to a bit of darkness" UGH he misses his shadow. and that he feels it was so good it was like a dream, or a mirage, but just not real <3 poor Regulus is not good with abandonment
AH YES i have been wondering if the pocket watch was the locket and now i'm certain!! I love that Mina was able to give him one last thing, and that he knew her well enough to know she wouldn't just die because. <3 I also just love the way you describe the locket, ripped out with the parchment inside. It's so visceral and reflective of the way she died, just ripped out of the world :(
But also Cassia!! I really do feel for her, and can definitely see Regulus' tides turn as he takes a moment to embrace her before he runs off to hopefully destroy Voldemort's locket. I think Regulus is wrong to think that Mina saw him as Cassia, but he's definitely the Cassia of the relationship lol.
I love that, even though he's been apathetic, he now knows this is the end :/ Avery is coming, they aren't happy with him, and he has to finish the job. such a good reflection from Regulus on everything!!
Wish i could finish it!!!!!
Cat
Hi Jacque, here for the galazy again
My one question, why must we...continue....to traumatize Regulus? :)
I totally, ttoally love this moment of introspection from Regulus. He is now literally hopeless, like nothing else matters to him. And he thinks that maybe it wasn't love, but it was the best thing he could have (which is like...totally a line i have written down before) I love him so much </3 my heart is broken
And of course Sev is like "oh. shame" he genuinely is like so detatched, the number one spy in the game.
God damn it that was the most amazing Black brother scene ever. Especially because....it doesn't even have to do with Mina. It's just, the snarky comment in the middle of this about Sirius not being able to help it because he's a pureblood. such a brotherly thing. And he won't fight Sirisu, because it doesn't matter, nothing matters UGUGHGH NOO but it does matter
And then, the whole Remus of it all. I wonder if Regulus even knew that Remus was a part of her life? (that would be an insane part of a few mistakes ago) And I'm glad that htey were able to bring it back to her purpose, because i really need regulus to go save the world now <3
Amazing as always,
cat
Hi yes, back for the galazy and all
The thing is, now that I've read through 'a few mistakes ago', i am so attached to Remus and Mina even though I know that's not necessarily the main ship here. YGUUGH
Okay, that first scene between Mina and Regulus gives me a lot of feels about Regulus <33 Like he is so young and naive, here, even though he wants to be so strong. That one comment about how he feels like he's been dying already, yeah that's him. But Mina knows his heart is too fragile to actually go through with whatever happens at the cave knowing that she's in danger, I just can't
And I love how she comes to the conclusion about what Voldemort might be doing, immediately after the memory of regulus and her contemplating their mortality. UGH, so good. I finally am like really on Mina's side and want her to succeed. Even knowing what happens to our dear Reg <3
OH MY GOD YOU DID NOT JSUT DO THAT TO ME. LITERALLY THE MOMENT I =FELT I WAS FINALLY ON MINA'S SIDEEEEE. that was literally so well-timed, and i hate that you knew this was coming and just let me read it, that's evil.
but it makes SO MUCH SENSE. THE ONLY WAY TO GET REGULUS TO DO IT WAS TO MAKE IT A VENGEANCE PLAY, OMG she's so smart. Also, hopefully, she is somehw alive <333
Love this so much anyway
Cat
Walburga!!! Ok, I already read your character thingy of her on the forums, but yeah, I just love all the choices you made for her here. I know she doesn't show up much in this story, but I think she does enough and she definitely serves her purpose for giving us more insight into Regulus' character and how he feels about his family.
The fact that Sirius' room remains unchanged, in spite of her burning him off the tapestry gives her this level of complexity that canon overlooks. Publicly she's disowned her son, but privately she mourns him and cannot move past the loss of him. And I know she's messed up, but I really like that you point out that it's also very likely she's become a product of her environment and she knows nothing else. This is realistic. It's harsh and ugly but sometimes human nature is. I just loved everything about Walburga in this story.
Also, the elaboration of his thoughts as he writes the note!! I mean it's absolute perfect and ties everything together in such a meaningful way! I love seeing canon elements elaborated on and you totally delivered that to me on the most beautiful silver platter!
And the Peter Pan reference at the end! Jacquelin this ending was beautiful and fitting and I adored it! (And of course I am emotional about this last title for the chapter!)
Wow, my friend, this is such an excellent story and I am so glad I could use this review event to catch up on it! Amazing job! This is definitely one you should be proud of!
<3 Courtney
~* 31/? rising through the ranks *~
Ahhh of course the watch returned to him and it tied in with the statue! I really loved how you incorporated themes from Peter Pan throughout this story in such a seamless fashion. And this bit at the end really hit home hard, so excellent job you! :)
I really loved us seeing how Regulus discovers the horcruxes and how it is through Mina. And Cassia! Wow, I really do love what you've done with her character in such a short span of time! This is the only time we've really seen her? Maybe? Sorry, my memory is shit. But man, I feel so deeply invested in her character. I feel like she's sort of a "good one," in this elitist society. Or as "good," as one can be while living in the lap of privilege. And I sort of love that it's alluded to that she uses sexuality to assert her power over men in this universe. I am always here for sex positive stories in a world where it feels like its sort of supposed to be repressed.
Anyway, we see even more of Regulus' character here and how he does care about people, but it's just utterly exhausting when thrust into this toxic environment. So of course he feels despair and melancholy too. It would weigh heavy on someone to know what he knows and have to pretend it doesn't exist day in and day out.
What I really like at the end of this chapter though is that you speak some real, raw truths about how history conveniently remembers what it wants to about certain figures and periods of time. We'll never know full accounts, and we all draw upon speculation and evidence that is presented to us to form a narrative. Which is exactly what happens to canon Regulus, and also why this wonderful fic exists. But the difference is, you've given Regulus a story that isn't straightforward or black and white, but is truly a "shades of grey," thing. And I mean this in the highest of compliments because it feels so realistic of someone who is born into the life he was born into and how they cope with everything. He's not perfect, but he's not purely evil either. And I just really love everything you've done with him in this story and how you tied that all together at the end here.
<3 Courtney
~* 30/? rising through the ranks *~
Jacquelin! The way you write emotions in all these small, tiny details! (I'm looking at Remus' brush back her fringe). I am just so in awe of this chapter. It's dumbfounded me, wrecked me, and man...this falling action is just so gripping! Normally falling action is like "ok, ok, yeah, whatever, moral of the story time." But this is haunting and poignant.
The care Regulus displays for Mina so openly now that she is dead!! I am just so!! Internally screaming about it!! It's like pointing out that death is this great equalizer, and in this instance, you show that death breaks down all sorts of barriers. Regulus no longer sees a point to keep his feelings about Mina guarded any longer, because of his own personal despair in losing her, but also because he doesn't have to protect her anymore. And it's such so heart wrenching!!
And the moments with Sirius were equally heart wrenching! We see Regulus tentatively considering reaching out for the BRIEFEST of moments, but then he doesn't because Sirius will never understand him and just URGHHH. So many feelings about that.
You really know how to hit me hard where it hurts! A truly gutting chapter (in the best sort of, you're an awesome sauce writer, sort of way)!
<3 Courtney
~* 29/? rising through the ranks *~
Back again for the galazy!
Okay, I do hate how Evan is so possessive, but it makes so much sense. Like all the Death Eaters for the most part seem to have an issue with possessiveness. Maybe its a pureblood thing. But I want her to go see Regulus so badly :(
Ahhh, Snape is back, I was looking forward to hearing from him. I like how you mention the change in his wardrobe, that really does feel like a Snape move. He is always trying to rise out of his station.
Wow wow she really cuts him where it hurts immediately. I love how they battle with their minds. And what a great use of Peter's own memories, I love it, she is so tricky. And I do not like the symbolism of the broken pocketwatch (although, I too have started reading a story that will not have a happy ending)
Oh shit, I love how you finally labeled her power: seeing outcomes. Though what a terrifying power for old voldy to know that you have. AHHH she feels him being torn!! What will she make of that? Will she be able to explain that? Or will she even want to? probably not
Wow I don't know how Voldemort will forgive that. His whole thing is complete loyalty, and she just admitted that no one has her full loyalty. I love it, especially followed by her swift depature by way of bird. So cool, so freeing.
Another amazing chapter! Idk how Mina is getting out of this one
Cat
Here for the galazy again!
She clearly cannot get this prophecy off her mind...and that entrance is very Sirius. (btw, I love how you connect them through her, it's perfect) Ah and Remus joins, what a tense, tempered conversation this will be
I like how you are connecting the prophecy with the power, as well, even though its not really connected. It is an obvious sort of connection that one would make upon first hearing the prophecy!! I love that aspect of Mina trying to figure it out
Oooh this memory!! And his mind saying 'you' to answer the question of what he wants is so MMM!! I literally love this dynamic, and I can't wait to read your one-shots from Remus' pov....Wow...she found out he's a werewolf in school?? that certainly creates a bond, even if Remus detests it. She really pulled him out of his own darkness. Who pulls the darkness out of Mina???? (okay, Regulus kind of , but he has enough darkness of his own)
omgomg please tell them about Peter!! This is what I mean about never knowing what side Mina is on </3 like i get that she has to be cold and calculated and disconnected, but wth!! Tell them!! (even though that is not really in the prophecy anyway lol)
Such a great one, Jacque!!
Cat
Here for the galazy again!!
Oh gosh, this is really hard to read. The weight of everything is so clear on Mina <3 I actually don't think she would do well in a cell in Azkaban, but that's just me lol
Oh my god the torture :( And the desperation that Mina knows Gideon is feeling by using her as a hostage, knowing they won't care if she dies. Wow, using her legilimency in a battle, that is an insane tactic.
Oh god, Avery and Evan are really gross. :( OMG wjhat REgluls@!!! Okay, i can't edit that, it's too funny. Also...you got me with that one :( What a horrible, horrible dream/premonition maybe?? I hope not. Her dreams really highlight what she is actually afraid of, and that's so painful :( Regulus dying and the Order losing. At least I feel secure with what side she's on (I hope???)
Always so many questions with Mina! Cat
Hi Jacque!! I am back and better than ever for the sake of the galazy
BACK TO MINA, I literally can't wait to hear what she's been thinking about the past few days/weeks, and also about what happened to her!!
Oohh, so the reason Sev couldn't look at him is because something more happened with Mina...
It's such a good detail that Voldemort no longer considered Legilimens enough to trust her. I guess, if she is that good of a spy, it sort of makes sense. And Voldemort's paranoia is off the charts (okay, wait does Regulus have a ton of tattoos?? I have never thought of that and i love it so much, bc he needs to cover the Dark Mark and also be like Sirius </3)
Oooohh, she's seen him with a girl?? is it his Selwyn betrothed?? and then he denies it "i don't really feel anything" AAHHH that is so Regulus, please my angel. (why is Regulus the key to destroying TDL? is it just Kreacher?? Subtle drop there). :( she left him without even letting him get a word in </3 i'm so sad
Lol Peter shrieking. I love that line, "seems you've lost your way Peter," because, yeah he has :((( I like how everyone just sort of, dismisses Peter, bc what are ya gonna do?
And also, interesting that she considers Snape weak and malleable. I think she does have some blindspots she is not addressing lol
Wait WHAT she's heard the prophecy?? Oh, must be from Dumbledore, who she confronted about saving the Potters. No wonder she trusts Lily so much.
EW Evan sucks here. And no, she would literally never answer to you, how embarrassing. Ahh but why does he know about Remus??? and also, does she CONTINUE to do that? bc, conflict of interest much?? i cannot with Mina sometimes
But she gets the last word even just in her own mind </3
Loved this one, Jacque <33
Hi Jacque, back for more galazy reviewing!!
(another chapter title I'm dying over, I love seeing the phrase toujours pur) also the chapter summary...someone is at the townhouse!!
Haha what a dramatic room sign, i love it.
No, poor Kreacher :/ I love the way that they talk to each other. I wonder if Kreacher ever ponders it -- like, how come on one else is as nice as Master Regulus? </3 my heart breaks
Ooh, it is time for Walburga to get her hands on a wife for Regulus :eyes: off the Selwyn's, is it?? double :eyes: Lol Cassia might be beautiful but she's no Mina :( But Walburga doesn't even worry about it, knowing that Regulus will do his duty. ((Or will he?))
Omg this scene was so good, it had me totally enraptured. It's so sad to see Mina reacting to the news of Regulus' impending engagement. Even though she would never dare outwardly react, we know it's brewing beneath her eyes. And then...who was reading his mind. My first thought was moldy voldy, his was Mina, but it was actually....Snape? There is something so sneaky going on there, he's been distant from Regulus, too. I guess this is him turning away from voldemort.
Can't wait to read on!!
Cat
Hi Jacque, back for the galazy :)
this title is another one that intrgues me...on the precipice of what??? if i have my way, betraying old voldy
OH shoot, so Voldemort is not happy with Mina's results as of late. Lol WHAT that line "I have to speak with Kreacher" hit me just about as hard as it hit Regulus. But that is.....SUCH a good way to get Regulus involved, I'm dying.
And in front of Lily...at least she can see what Mina means to Regulus, and hopefully understand it. Even more interesting...Lily has now seen Regulus talking about defeating voldemort...interesting. But Lily doesn't let it slide, of course not
Hahaha why can't Regulus take a thank you to save his life. I love that, but Lily talking about Sirius talking about Regulus???OOF that hurts.
AHH evil is the precipice, i love this explanation. I love how Regulus talks in this so much. he's sort of prophetic and also doomsdayish except when it comes to Mina of course
omgomg no no this is not good for anyone. :O The lunar cycle, REMUS IS HERE AND THINGS ARE AWKWARD AS ALL HELL. Of course he wants to protect Mina, i'm dying, this love triangle is too traumatized :/
(lol Mina and Lily communicating through their minds)
Oh man, poor Remus saw that Mina really is not his, if anyone's. ACK i love it <3
Cat
Hi Jacque, back for the good of the galazy!
Ah, Regulus is too good for death. I guess, if you were working for old voldy you wouldn't worry about death, either. Also a fav headcanon of mine <3
I love that he knows the other side will conquer because he can sense their positivity. He knows that it's not overconfidence, just a strong belief that they are going to overcome it, no matter what
Wow, I love how you write her transformations. That description really gave me an image of how battered Mina is here. Lily must know something important, because that is not an easy step Regulus takes. Though, if he'd do it for anyone, it'd be Mina
I love how they always resort to chocolate as a remedy lol. I love the choice to have Lily and Regulus *sort of* not really almost be amicable. I think, as you've displayed, Lily is understanding to a point. And any other one of Sirius' friends would not take this as well.
You're right Lily, the noble House of Black lives for the drama. Also WHAT happened to Mina??
Cat :)
Hi Jacque, back for a galazy review!!
Not this chapter title being "the brothers Black" :eyes:
I am happy to be back with Regulus' pov now that I know Mina so well. I feel like her development was so strong, which is great, as she's an oc. And though there's still some iffy spots with what i know about her, i feel like i do for the most part.
I think Severus probably is a spy, too?? Because he's back at Hogwarts?? I love how Voldemort keeps the spies separate, that seems pretty important lol.
Literally every time the motorcycle is mentioned my brain goes "Sirius??? no, Mina???" so idk if that was on purpose, but it really makes me think for a second, i love it. OMG it IS SIRIUS WTF.
Hmmm I love that line, "funerals aren't meant for the dead" :chef's kiss: AHHAHA and Snape knows he's thinking about Mina, I love it. (sidenote: sad-face about the family that Sirius chose)
Oh wow, Mina is suddenly very open. "live in some muggle village where everyone knows everyone's name" Lol Regulus' jabs about telling muggles their fortune had me chuckling. I love their little soft moments <33
My eyes are out of their sockets. Oh shit, oh shit, he brought up Sirius, I can't this is too much. Oh GOD yes she is meant to be yours. Even though she can't reallyyy be, because she's her's, but you are meant for each other!! These are the types of lines that cause me pain.
No non nonoo not Kreacher, my literal angel character. :(( Wow wow, this ending...Mina really has nothing to say. Maybe she already knew?? Probs not, but it doesn't seem like she's stunned. Maybe she's just so used to it :/
Such a great chapter!!
Cat
Here for the galazy!!
So happy to be done with work and back in Mina's world <33
Wow wow, I love this new bit of magic that Mina practices (new to me) It is so beautiful to read, and I love this: "a magic the rest of the world had grown bored with" <33 It also totally makes sense that voldy wants to capture that magic. He wants to control everything, and this is something new.
That scene was SO amazing and screw Evan for telling her to stop. And the fact that Regulus is the one who pulls her back makes it even better :)
Oh shoot, she is CONFRONTING DUMBLEDORE. And he always has an answer to back it all up :/ It's almost like he doesn't even need to say sorry to her, which is super Dumbledore of him. Also, is she a spy before Snape?? That's interesting...
I LOVE this memory, and it gives me so much context for how Remus is wrapped up in this little narrative...WOwowow "Remus was like a tonic for my tired spirit" what a freaking way to describe someone.
This passage about Dumbledore, too, is so enlightening. She thought she had everyone played, but then she saw through Dumbledore's ruse. He'll use everyone to get what he wants. It's like she saw the roses and then they got plucked :/
So which side does she care for?? Does she care at all?? (After that vision, maybe slightly more the Order, lol)
Cat
"No, I was through with cowering and I’d had enough of cages."
^^ REALLY loved this line! Mina will not be contained. Even wounded, her resolve is building again and I loved seeing that!
Your explanation of how Mina's Legilimens ability comes so easy was really intriguing! I liked that you took this approach of how most people overlook a basic sensation that can be mistook for something ordinary. It made this world feel even more sinister since an invasion of the mind could be done so easily and without someone's notice.
The hallucinatory dreams revealed more about her relationship with Regulus as well, which supported this slow reveal of the depth of their feelings/motivations, which was quite brilliant. In these circumstances, motivations are dubious or blurred and unclear. And you carried this idea throughout this entire story in a meaningful way. I loved that!
"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches…"
^^ I loved the repetition of this line throughout the last few chapters and how you gave it more meaning for Mina's character than just it's canon meaning/interpretation.
"The chill carried in the breeze, the colors that painted the forests. The days were shorter to make room for night and the mischief it brought. It was a quiet surrender into the winter months to follow. A necessary ending that would give way to the bursting colors of spring."
^^ This was beautiful Jacquelin! I loved this so much!
"The fear you sow will never be enough to reap the love that opposes you.”
^^ Shit I loved this too! Even in her final moments of torture, she is taunting him and sowing doubts. Argh...and the moment where she thinks that she could reach out and Regulus could too...I was just...an emotion. That's the best way to describe it hah.
And gosh my heart was in my throat the entire time that Voldemort was shouting for Regulus to kill Mina. And omgawsh like we don't know if he did or someone else did! And that ending! Ahhh...Jacquelin, I am not ok! Onto the next chapter!
<3 Courtney
~* 28/? rising through the ranks *~
Oof. A woman in a hopeless situation such as this...my heart goes out to Mina.
"Now though, the watch in my pocket taunted me. It ticked away each moment, chipping away at the advantage we had before Voldemort discovered how much we knew."
^^This sentiment here is absolutely haunting. You do this thing where you take these wonderfully concrete visuals and then assign this deeper meaning behind them. I mean, I get that that's a part of writing, but the way you do it feels so authentic and I just love how you do it!
I really love that you took an opportunity to have Mina and Severus slip into one another's minds...both of them are set up as being skillful Legilimens...and so that was a really cool power play of a moment. But whereas the moment with Evan and her felt like they were grappling for power and control, this felt more like two equals battling it out. And that distinction was just really neat to see. I mean granted, it make sense given the differences in connection to one another, but I just found it enjoyable.
And the pocket watch breaking is such apt foreshadowing. I really loved how you described that moment and how it factors into Mina's circumstances and her feelings about them. There's such a feeling of desolateness here, and now my heart hurts more.
Then that ending with Voldemort! I think being so wrapped up in Mina's mind also serves to build tension. We can't see things happening outside of her mind before they do, and I think that serves this scene very well. And gosh that ending! Her escape! I absolutely loved it all and how it played out.
Another great chapter!
<3 Courtney
~* 27/? rising through the ranks *~
I loved all the emotional transformations that this journey took us on. First there is Mina's frustration and irritation, with the whiskey than Sirius. A++ characterization of him, btw. And then her anger morphs into this quiet despair and then there's this like angsty romantic feeling with Remus that just made my heart ache.
And them sitting side by side, going down memory lane without having to verbalize a thing...it just feels very powerful and intimate. And I felt like this idea of their memories bleeding together was such an intimate statement in itself.
It's also pretty evident that Mina and Regulus lurve each other. Though what we know and what they know...it's all very "FRIENDS discovering Monica/Chandler's secret relationship," but much darker. (I saw you used that gif, so you know what I know, you know? ;)) Anyway, I feel like Mina is one of those people who needs to be told "hey idiot, you love this idiot," particularly because denial is probably safer given the circumstances she lives in.
And her grappling with whether or not to tell him about Peter had me all "gahhhhh" inside. The dramatic irony in this tale is making me all twisty, but it's so great and shows your skill as a writer. I'm LOVING this story so much!
<3 Courtney
~* 26/? rising through the ranks *~
Aww my Prewett boys! I love them and from the minute realized they were here was also like FUCK. They're gonna die aren't they? And my eyes were like bleary the whole time i was reading this.
Jacquelin. Holy shit. This is. This chapter is incredible. I mean, you had me bleary eyed, tense, and gripping the edge of my laptop the whole time I was reading this. Your descriptions of action and the magic being tossed about and how violent and horrific it feels is just absolutely exquisite. I am practically speechless by how well done this chapter this, so I apologize for the brevity of this review. But this chapter just struck me in so many ways.
Also, I really thought the thoughts Mina has about how valuable Gideon and Fabian Prewett are versus how indispensable the Death Eaters are really says a lot about how both sides view human life and what they are fighting for. The contrast of that just really appealed to me.
Amazing chapter! I don't really know what else I can say about it. I loved it so much!
~* 24/? rising through the ranks *~
What a gripping chapter this was!
I really enjoyed seeing more of Mina's life beyond her double agency and beyond Regulus and Remus. This exchange with Evan is harrowing! The tension and fear I felt reading it, really placed me in Mina's shoes. He's absolutely horrid in this moment. And it seems like he does not like losing control, even though, he clearly does. But its in losing it on Mina that he regains this power that is terrifying. And we see Mina in a new light in this chapter. She's normally in control, but here, we feel her losing it too, and that is also scary.
The way you depict the moment incites such strong emotions and visuals. I think balancing all the sensory details of what is happening alongside Mina's feelings and thoughts is exceptionally well done. And in the end, we're left with her resentment, which feels absolutely justified.
Also, I love the minute detail about Cassia Selwyn being Rosier's lover, but promised to Regulus. It really shows the incestuous nature of this community, which is believable. Plus, in typical Courtney fashion, I am just wondering about her because she's a minor character in your universe LOL.
Amazing chapter, Jacquelin!
<3 Courtney
JACQUEEEEE I AM FINALLY HERE TO BESTOW LOVE UPON THIS AMAZING STORY!!!
Ahhh omg okay so starting off strong, he’s in the eye of the storm (or at least the black family is but lets be honest, he is as well)
Oooof that whole thought about trading one enslavement for another im pretty sure was in the drabbles and it hits just as hard here as well… poor regulus he deserves the world
Okay but the way that you talk about the other death eaters is so cool, like i want to know more about them in this really weird and morbid way? Don’t get me wrong - i hate them, but they’re so interesting??
(ew snape, but like go off i guess)
MINA MY DARLING OMG LPEASE BE SAFE BABE (also like yes, nails on chest are hot)
Damn im really here for Mina Shafiq, outranking them all and being hot while doing it. Good on Regulus for batting well above his weight class (i feel like this metaphor is wrong, but its about sports ball i dont know abt so i cannot confirm)
HEY WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE ENGAGED TO EVAN??? DONT LIKE THAT - LIKE I PHYSICALLY DO NOT ENJOY THAT AS A CONCEPT
(ew snape)
Lol well snape would know about pining for someone who literally couldn’t care less if he lived or died (sorry, im firmly on the snape slander train today) but at least my boy Regulus isnt a fuckin loserrrrrrrrrrr (it’s just a secret relationship no big deal) although it is funny that regulus is just fully unaware of that
AMAZING first chapter jacque, cant believe it took me this long to get to it, but UGH what a great start to what is obvi a great story! I’ll be back soo i promise!!
lo <3
The vibes and descriptions of this chapter are so dark and deliciously pureblood-y. You know in an elitist, messed up sort of way. But the way you describe how Regulus is torn between childhood and adulthood and how he had visions of what his life would be like versus what it might become just makes us all the more sad for him. No one is ever their true self in this sort of world because the weight of expectation is just so great.
Also, I was wondering how you would characterize Walburga Black since everyone who has written her always has such strong opinions and/or visions of her. I honestly love that she's chiefly characterized as this grand, elegant woman who chain smokes to a ridiculous degree. And her sweeping clouds of smoke away with a wave of her hand, really just adds to the the dark, mysterious atmosphere of this chapter. I just loved how you wrote this first glimpse of her because I felt like I could see where a camera might pan and how it would sweep over her as she's revealed to us for the first time. It was one of those awesome moments of me just totally connecting with your description of her and what she's doing and just be like WOAH THERE'S WALBURGA. Like when you're watching a movie and you're excited to see a particular character for the first time and the way they show up just makes you shift excitedly in your seat and/or the hair stand on end in your arms. That's sort of what happened for me in that moment. I really don't know if this makes any sense, but this entire moment just struck me as super powerful. And damn. More Walburga Black pls? ;)
"...my brother’s scorched space next to it, understanding the responsibility he forced onto my shoulders." And in a single sentence, I can understand Regulus' resentment towards Sirius and it totally feels valid.
"... legacy was far superior to love." Such a pureblood-y concept, but the way you wrote this was just very fitting and I loved this sentence.
I really like how you depict the feel of someone entering your mind here. And that it's Sev!!! Omgawsh is he going to try and double cross Reg if he discovers the truth?!?!? GAHHH. That was such a great moment there!! And now my paranoia is in full swing!!
Jacquelin, the way you yield language and weave in metaphors and these like philosophical musings about the world is absolutely top notch! They accentuate everything within your story and just give it this richness that makes your writing absolutely addictive. I love this story so much and I can honestly see myself just binge reading this to its end the next time I get a spare moment to myself.
<3 Courtney
~* 15/? rising through the ranks *~
Back for some more reviews, Jacquelin!
"I sympathized with its chase, knowing the pale sphere was destined to race after that warm glow forever, but would never truly catch it."
^^And omgawsh, this description and overall mood this line evokes!! It's beautiful!! I will now never look at the moon the same way again as you do.
Wow the whole exchange continues to be rife with tension. But "whatever end," becoming their love mantra, this expression of "I trust and I'm with you," it's just so powerful and I love it more than I could ever say. It feels like the word "always," does to a lot of HP fans, so like, yeah...I'm here for that level of intensity and angst. <3
“I promised to be with you until whatever end, not to forfeit you to it.” AHHHH HE LOVES HER SO MUCH. :sobbing emoji: Man, I did not expect to love Regulus Black as much as I do but, congratulations for making it happen for me.
I really loved the contrast between Lily's hopefulness and Regulus' despair. And I really think you do a great job of showing the softer sides of Lily, because we hear she was kind in a rare sort of way. And while she's very fierce and "don't fuck with me or my friend," sort of way, she does try to see the good in Reg, no matter what Sirius has already told her of him. So I really like the approach you are taking with her in this story as well. It's hard to wrap so many contrasting qualities in a character and sell it in a believable way, but I really feel like you're doing an excellent job! :D
And that Apparation moment at the end was super romantic in a way! Like the fluidity of the movements and how everything just sort of fades away. And how Mina is taking command of the situation. It was just all a beautifully laid out scene and I really loved the visual of it in my head.
<3 Courtney
~* 14/? rising through the ranks *~
Hey yo!
Ahh I loved the way this chapter opened with Regulus sort of incognito among Muggles. Your Peter Pan allusions are just on point and the fact that it sort of contrasts with his thoughts on death and general feelings against immortality, feels very...neat? Idk what the right word is, but yeah, it's just very clever and cool!
I also really thought it was interesting that he practices Legilimency on Muggles because they are less likely to realize it's happening. It shows more about how inexperienced he is this area of magic and how he'll do whatever he can to become more experienced without anyone in the DE inner circle, or his inner circle, realize this. I think it adds to the mystery of his character and how others see him, and getting this rare glimpse into his character was just really cool. I love when writers put readers "in the know," and we have to watch and wait for other characters reactions unfold. It definitely adds to the tension of the tone of this piece. Also, I feel like all his thoughts on death track for all the canon stuff we know about him, so very cool there too. :)
It's interesting that Mina trusts Lily more than Severus. But I think maybe it speaks to the fact that she's more trusting of The Order in general, or at least believes that they are the better option for her to achieve all of her end goals of killing Voldy than the DEs.
I loved the little details of Lily placing rune magic in the house to keep Reg at bay. And the way you described Apparation was so tactile. I am a sucker for great descriptions of magic and you deliver that very nicely!
I think what I love so much about this story so far is your focus on the smaller details and things and how they build up in a way to create this awesome story that is just so rich in plot and characterization.
Amazing job, so far and I hope to be back for more!
<3 Courtney
~* 12/? rising through the ranks *~
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