Name: RogueSlytherin (Signed) · Date: 17 Mar 2022 03:13 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hey There :D Here with the SS Voyager :D 

I'm not sure if this is a one-shot from an extended story or just something cooked up for this challenge - and it's because you do such a great job of connecting these characters and setting them up with history and connections that feel like there's more story there - so awesome job! 


And the way Draco's glass slowly cracks and then shatters <3 That's such an awesome visual. I love the voice you captured for Draco in this. The way he hears his mother's voice in his head, telling him to have manners and not mumble - that sort of posh upbringing always in the back of his mind. And the sus way he deals with Harry - never really sure where he stands - never certain if he's actually accepted or if there's some sort of vengence waiting to be taken.


Lots of character and voice in such a short story - loved this! 


- Jacquelin 

Name: starlitcastles (Signed) · Date: 16 Jan 2022 03:56 AM · For: Chapter 1

Hi Della!

 

I saw on your wishlist on the forums for the Arctic Adventure that you wanted reviews on this story and plus I haven’t read your works yet so I thought why not drop two birds with one stone! Or something like that? Anyway, onward to the review shall we?!

 

The idea of Draco Malfoy having a glass wall especially a metaphoric one is brilliant and the way you managed to convey it slowly throughout moments shows whether  he's standing at the party watching the Potters befuddled as to why he got invited to them to when he sees Luna Lovegood at the same party moments later unsure of why she’s there until he asks her.  I love how you wrote this with mentioning the glass wall he has bit by bit in each of the scenes we see him in too!

 

 

Another thing I wanted to mention that I absolutely loved is that we see more of Harry and Draco's friendship expanded on since it seems like they aren't really friends or seem close in the books. I'm glad that Harry seems to warm up to him and is kind enough to not only compliment him on the curse breaking and healing them during this scene (and am wondering if it’s part of the auror mission or something like that?) to inviting him to a party that he’s attending in the present day of the story. I honestly feel Harry is doing his best to try and reach out to Draco which is great! The two being friends is something I’ve always hoped for. The part where it’s mentioned that glass knock also feels like these interactions between him and Harry shows that he’s definitely noticed a change between them and is starting to open up  but not completely.

 

 

I also love that Luna Lovegood was also the one to break the metaphorical glass and, we see that while it shocks him, it's also him coming to terms with the fact that he can have somebody whom he might be able to open up to and not have a wall all the time.  It’s great to see that he’s also doing so with her as well! 

 

Can't go without mentioning how I loved this part near the end: 

“The wrackspurts are confusing you Draco - they’re making you childish,” she said indulgently, “let’s just go. You’ll have fun. Promise.” She spoke with such soft finality, dragging his sleeve along with her. There was no decision to be made. He went. 

And the glass came shattering down.”

It just perfectly describes the scene not only so well but I love the way Luna also mentions wrackspurts and still manages to get him to dance with her as well. I think the way she also says this is like her way of taking charge and letting Draco know that she won’t take no for an answer or that’s what it seems like to me reading this.

 

Despite not being a huge Draco and Luna shipper, it's always great when people write about them since they seem to have potential quite possibly after the events of the Battle at Hogwarts. They’re a rare pair in a sense that people wouldn't be thinking about them being together romantically and more in line with them instead having forced interactions, while fighting together on the same side of the wizarding world.

 

The way you wrote each of the characters reminded me of them in the canon universe and honestly I am here for it and love, love, LOVE it! I can definitely hear Draco call Harry, scarface in mind rather than using his actual name or how Luna would definitely find a way to get somebody like Draco to join her to dance.  I  also love that Harry seems to remind Draco to call him by his own name since it would seem like something he would do if they’re friends.  Also mentioned this earlier but Luna mentioning the wrackspurts confusing him is not only humorous but still definitely her.

 

Overall, this was such a short yet also very lovely and kind of fun read! You did such a great job of having Draco having his metaphorical glass walls up around others and having somebody like Luna to shatter that wall near the end.  I don’t know if you’ll write more about them or anything else but whatever it is, I hope to read it! :)

 

Wonderful job!

 

 

-Diana/Di

Name: grumpy cat (Signed) · Date: 15 Dec 2021 06:30 PM · For: Chapter 1

hi della! i'm here to read my challenge entries and godd i really really love what you've done here with the glass shattering!

 

it's such a clever way to cast draco as being and feeling separate from the rest of the wizardkind for obvious reasons but then there's harry knocking and luna shattering the glass wall and i just thought that whole metaphor was really lovely.

 

i also liked how it kinda translated into the private party prompt with draco being separated from the actual party (well, feeling separated) but it also has a double meaning of him being separated from the private party that's the rest of wizardkind and idk i guess i just really liked that interpretation of the prompt ☆

 

btw draco/luna is not something i'd ever read before but i can totally see them as embodying the grump/sunshine trope and i love it!

 

kris

Name: inmyownlittlecorner (Signed) · Date: 10 Dec 2021 01:16 AM · For: Chapter 1

Hi Della! I'm here for the arctic gifting event :D

 

I really like how you wrote Draco's narrative voice. I thought it fit him--the way he's mentally commenting on everything and usually negative about it. The way he's at this party--Harry Potter's party--standing on the edge of it looking in. He seems bewildered as to how he even got here. But once Harry decides you're okay, decides that you're part of the group--you are, whether or not you want to be.

 

Luna was just lovely. She has her keen sense of knowing what people need and coaxing them into receiving it. I also loved the image of the glass cracking as the walls Draco has built to keep everyone out (and himself safe) come crashing down over the course of the evening.

 

I'm very glad he went to dance with Luna.

 

Nice work on this!

 

Yours,

Noelle

Name: PinsandKneazles (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2021 06:57 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hello and welcome to FFT! I'm here from the forums with a gift review :)

 

I thought you nailed Draco's post-war character perfectly in this chapter; the way that he'd stick to the periphery of a function room, the surprise with which he received his invitation and almost believed it was some kind of joke, the way he scoffed at the people offering congratulations to the happy couple. I confess; like Draco, I'm a bit surprised Harry and Ginny invited him too, haha! I love Draco's internal monologue and his response to Harry calling him 'mate' and telling him to call him Harry.

 

Luna - I've never really put her with Draco, but actually, you make them work so well together. Draco's reserve vs Luna's honest, open, blatant, quirky approach is just brilliantly done in only a few words - the comment about the Wrackspurts cracked me up. And actually, Draco respnds with a bit of a quip to Luna's 'sad corner' comment so I think he's definitely warming up to her!

 

Great last line "and the glass came shattering down"

 

I can't wait to see where you take this story - great start!

 

Happy holidays :)

 

Meera x

 

 

Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2021 02:32 PM · For: Chapter 1

 

Hey!

 

I'm here for holiday gifting!

 

I saw you liked the pairing Draco/Luna which totally interested me as I had never thoughts about it. I love the concept of Luna being able to break down the walls between the old rivals and old wounds. You really beautifully caught that in such a small moment that meant something big. I love Draco's characterization in the piece. I think you've perfectly captured his inner thought process of Draco. He doesn't really understand why he's here. I think it shows a lot about how he views himself and his ability to move on is quite shaky.

 

I love the metaphor about the 'glass wall', it is so clever and I love the repeating of this idea in every section. I thought that was wonderfully done. Draco has hints his old self, 'scarhead' and I thought how baffled draco was by being called 'mate' was hilarious. Luna's appearance, I love this! She is such a brilliant character and her extending that hand of friendship (maybe more) towards him seems quite in character. She is helping him escape his 'lonely and sad' corner. I love the end line! You've totally got me seeing the huge potential in this pairing! :)

 

Abbi xx

 

Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2021 01:28 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hello, Della, and welcome to our FFT family! :D

I'm here with a review as a little gift for the arctic adventure! Happy holidays! :D

This was a really enjoyable one-shot! I really liked your writing style, very natural dialogue, lovely descriptions and it flows really smoothly! Also, I loved Draco's point of view, you captured his underlying sarcasm so, so well! It was really amusing! :D

Poor Draco, btw... I'm not surprised that he's feeling a bit out of place there... after all, he and Harry had been enemies through all their school years, and it must be so confusing for him to have Harry acting so friendly towards him, as patched up as they might be now... :P I love the glass wall metaphore, btw! It's a very effective way to show how Draco is feeling separated from everyone else, and I love how you use it again at the end, with Luna coming to break the barrier!

And yay, Luna's definitely the one who could accomplish it! I always love her, her disarming honesty, her wiseness behind the whimsical attitude! I love that she just went and dragged Draco to dance, and that he didn't really get the chance to refuse! It's just typical Luna, I love it! :D

This was a really nice read, thank you for sharing!

Snowball hug and happy holidays again,

Chiara

Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2021 08:23 AM · For: Chapter 1

Hello!! Welcome once against to FFT! I'm glad to see you posting things already. :)

 

Ok, firstly I loved the glass wall metaphor carried throughout this, how Harry's calling out to him was like a knocking, and then obviously later with Luna shattering it, but it's a great visual, translating Harry's attempts to engage Draco into the image or sound of something trying to get his attention through a physical barrier.

 

Luna is wonderful here. She really has a way of breaking through someone's walls, if for no other reason than that she is like a social battering ram in a way. She barrels right in and doesn't bother to filter her speech into the socially appropriate way of communicating that so often results in really saying nothing at all.

 

She's notoriously difficult to write correctly, and what I think you really did right here with her was leaning into her habit of making observations that would typically be considered rude because they're so blunt -- you know, you're not supposed to just say to a random person "you look lonely in the sad corner" because generally speaking that's embarrassing and awkward for them, and they're probably standing there in the sad corner because they don't WANT to talk to anyone and here you are trying to draw them out -- but where it would be a rude comment coming from anyone else, Luna has no malice behind it whatsoever, and she has no guile.

 

Thank you for sharing, and I look forward to reading more of your stuff!

 

Melanie

Name: prideofprewett (Signed) · Date: 05 Dec 2021 12:34 AM · For: Chapter 1

Hi there! I saw you were new to the archives and posted a story, so naturally I wanted to check this out! I have to say, I loved how you approached Draco's redemption arc in this. The idea of there being this invisible glass barrier separating him from everyone and then it slowly just falling apart and him becoming apart of their group, was a great metaphor. It's a very visual way to describe internal thoughts and feelings. I like how you interspersed this throughout the story. 

 

And I think the flashback really serves a great purpose as well. We get a sense of Draco's snark in it, whereas if he was too snarky at the engagement party, he might be considered disingenuous. It really shows that some parts of him haven't changed. 

 

But we see him relatively happy for Harry in part one, but at a distance. I think that totally makes sense. And then at the end, Luna, who is chiefly on the outskirts on many social groups reaches out. And it's sweet, unexpected, but meaningful. 

 

Anyway, this story is way better constructed than this review, so my apologies for it jumping around so much. 

 

<3 Courtney

Author's Response:

Hello!

Omg I just saw this, and I wish it saw it sooner - thanks so much for the well-fleshed out and detailed review! This totally made my day haha :) 

Also, please don't apologise for the review construction, I super appreciate such lovely praise (I mean who wouldn't) and I honestly think its a wonderful and very well thought out review so thanks again!