Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 07 May 2022 12:16 AM · For: one

LOL, "nice lamp"/ "thanks, it lights the room" sounds like every small-talk conversation I've ever had. XD

 

This is definitely a marked difference from your style in Anathema (which feels a lot like the style I recall from your writing a couple of years ago) so I'm excited to see what you do with this since it's so different! Your attention to sensory details is still here, and the way you describe the really interesting features of things rather than describing every single thing that's in the scene.

 

You definitely get a feeling like Frances is sort of out of her element here, maybe because this is a social scene she's only in because of Miranda/Lips. But also the way that Miranda's new relationship has upheaved the dependable patterns of Frances's social life. I like the way you've described Tommy's placid sort of demeanor (and the prozac is an interesting detail that I think may play into that), and that sort of person is easy to get drawn to and just chill with to get away from a party going on like this.

 

I look forward to seeing where this goes!

 

<3 Melanie

Name: grumpy cat (Signed) · Date: 27 Apr 2022 06:35 PM · For: one

bethhh, my friend! i love the style you're writing this in, it feels very...idk how to explain it but like it's frances but more like she's looking in into her own life? if that makes sense? it feels detached but not detached at the same time and i think it works super well for the vibe you're going with. very grungey kinda, and fitting with drugs and getting high - it's like the feeling of getting high, so you're there but also somewhere else in your head. i feel like i'm not making any sense but this essay just means i really really love it okayyy

 

i also think i died a little at frances saying it's a nice lamp and tommy being all like...yeahhhh it's functional, lighting the room #dead :JOY:

 

i love how everything feels also very contained to frances and the party a little, and then tommy - like there's this focus on her character, and little things we find out about her during the course of the chapter, we're thrown into the middle of action kinda at the start and as the chapter progresses little tidbits about frances' background becoe apparent and her contrast to tommy and his lifestyle as well...and then the focus shifts completely to her and tommy at the end of the chapter, and obviously there's chemistry there and something about him attracts her - i mean, he's kind to her of course, and i love that, he's not teasing or anyhting, he helps her, but there's something more about him that frances is intrigued by and i love that even she doesn't quite pinpoint it, yk? just like irl, some people just have a way about them that makes them desireable to you and you don't always know why...so i love that this is how frances feels at the moment as well :D

 

and i love how super sweet their moment at the end is, the intimacy at this party that's really not intimate, but they found their lil moment in the midst of everything else and just ahhh love it

 

kris

Name: shadowycorner (Signed) · Date: 25 Apr 2022 07:12 PM · For: one

Hi Beth, I'm Eli, here from the forums and the review tag! As soon as I read the summary of your story, I was ensnared, too! Both because I love the premise of such story and atmosphere, and also I went a little crazy because BRISTOL. I used to live in Bristol for some time, and it was magical and insane, and I still sometimes miss it and regret moving, so I had to immediately dive in to see if perhaps the story will take me through some familiar places.

 

This story seems very intriguing from the start. It feels reminiscent of my own youth, that brief period when I wanted to be wild and reckless, and attended a few dubious parties myself, and I just loved how this chapter and your writing transported me. The minimal, modern style definitely works well here!

 

The scene between Frances and Tommy at the end was so tender and intimate, no grand romantic settings, but small spaces and vulnerability, there's just something about it that gets me. And I really enjoyed the little amusing moments you sprinkled in, like Tommy saying the toilet is thick-skinned, lol.

 

I am both excited about this new connection, but have that sense of dread and danger that boys like Tommy carry with them, and I have to say I'm definitely hooked and will be looking out for an update on this story! :)

 

She might have said more, the moment seemed to invite it. Instead, her head found his shoulder where it lingered. They were caught in an odd intimacy listening to the antics on the other side of the wall. Rain pelted the little bathroom window in a steady rhythm, humming her into a drowsy state. Her eyes closed and wouldn’t open until late next morning. - something about this is so atmospheric, soft, really has this power to make me feel like i'm in that bathroom with them. What a great way to finish off the chapter.

Name: prideofprewett (Signed) · Date: 25 Apr 2022 11:41 AM · For: one

Hiya! I'm Courtney and somewhat new here. Well, compared to other folks who have known one another for years, I'm totally new. ;) Anyway, I saw that you had an OF story without any reviews and thought I would come and check it out. :) 

 

Almost immediately I am transported into this world you've created. The setting is filled with exceptional description that reveals a great deal about the time and place Frances is living in. I too, have a great appreciation of 60s decor and glamour, so it's nice to read about it somewhere else for a change, instead of having to create it myself haha. 

 

I also love the languid atmosphere of this opening. Lips and Miranda thumb wrestling while Frances readjusts her position on the couch. Tommy sort of just milling about in the conversation as he gets to know Frances better. It was all just such a mood that I associate with the time period and this feeling of self-discovery and going against "the norms," of society, if you will.

 

And then the party is in full swing and it feels very "sex, drugs, and rock n roll," but in a minimalist sort of way. Yes, your author's note is a fabulous way of describing what I couldn't quite put into words about this particular style of writing. 

 

I felt like you also left us with a bit of foreshadowing regarding where this relationship between Tommy and Frances is headed. And I'm absolutely excited to see more of this!

 

A great start! 

 

<3 Courtney

 

Also...tag! :)