Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 12 Sep 2022 03:57 AM · For: Chapter 1

Hi, Jerri.  Here is a review in gratitude for the review you recently wrote for my poem "Still Life."  That was special because readers don't often review poetry.

 

I had to read this story over several times to extract as much understanding as I could get from it because it's not a fandom//universe I'm familiar with, but in the end I was sure that that didn't matter at all because it's such a sweet, self-contained story, a missing moment within some broader context that I don't really need to know in order to appreciate it.

 

It's all told from Jason's POV, but the character that I really am drawn to is Lian. I can see her so clearly, like my own granddaughter, Lior, who is now almost 14 but who used to be 6, the year that she was in first grade at achool and she and my daughter lived for a year with Grandma and Grandpa.  All cuddled up under a blanket next to Roy, watching TV cartoons and waiting for dinner to be ready.

 

There is such a contrast in this brief story between the warm and tender domestic scene, and the environment outside their home, the "perpetual crime and overcast skies," Jason's crime-boss era, a poisoner-assassin, people being temporarily dead, other mob bosses, and so on.  As if Jason had  a split persona, two lives so completely opposite in one person.  That dichotomy makes the story intriguing, particularly for a reader like me that doesn't  know the context or take it for granted.  I thought I saw references to Batman and Robin, and the word Arkham sort of rang a bell, so I looked it up.  That did help.

 

Your writing is smooth, flowing, going easiiy from the present moment to bits of backstory that clue me in gradually, but never like an info-dump.  No wasted words -- every sentence contributes something, even the few lines about the old Tom and Jerry cartoon.  I'm glad you ended the story with the lines featuring Lian, now sufficiently recovered from her bout with the flu to be able to eat something that's not soup and make a joke at Jason's expense.  I would love to be there and give her a big hug myself.  <3

 

Vicki