Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 18 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 5: Mystery

Where do I even begin? That was like, hello, here’s some interesting information, and Tom acting a way that your mind didn’t even know he could and Theo finally figured out how to use words and just…wow. Okay. One part at a time.

 

Theo and Hero are interesting. I give huge kudos to Theo in his chapter with his "Like I said, nothing - and no one - will win your parents approval. Your family doesn't make you who you are. You should be the only one who controls your life." Honestly, this line was what he should have said before, rather than pushing things on her that made her uncomfortable. Like, I know he was trying to do just this, but sometimes just putting the words out there and walking away is enough. I do also enjoy how it took no time at all for Hero to throw it back at him that it’s not fair to Emory, for him be acting the way he is towards Hero, because of the relationships. Like, both needed to say their piece and I’m happy it was finally in a more adult fashion.

 

Hero and Finn are another interesting group. The dark magic book makes sense, and the fact that Hero takes it away from Finn and is all trying to figure out why it’s around…like, I think it’s really more telling of Tom’s character. He really is this dark, twisted kid who found himself on the wrong path fast and everyone just wants to be in denial of it. No one can be that bad. And like, Hero falls into that. Which is super unfortunate and only more curious as Tom pushes to explore why Hero was with Noah and just…I get that gut feeling Tom was involved with the whole Noah incident. But he’s pushing to understand some part of it, and just...it’s interesting. I think I get what he’s looking for, but the way he goes about it…like Tom’s character is this subtle manipulative and just…I don’t even know. Bad things are bound to happen though, I do know that…

 

And before I go, I have to share my favourite line. Just from the way it comes across.

 

"I don't mean to pry…That is to say, I do, and stop me if it's personal, but what did you see in the Muggle boy?"

 

Great chapter!

 

-Mikaela

Author's Response:

Thank you, Mikaela!

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 18 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 3: Something Wicked This Way Comes

Hiya! Back for another chapter (not that I’ve left yet)! :)

 

I’m trying really hard not to jump into my full cap lock review starters. It was a thing I was quite bad at for quite a while (amusing, really), but this chapter is really, really making that difficult. Like…oh my gosh. Self control is hard after a chapter like this.

 

So. I’m really, really struggling to like Hero’s family. Nothing presses my buttons the wrong way more than having impossible and unreasonable expectations for things. Like, needing to do well on OWLs  for forgiveness. That shouldn’t be a thing. For a number of reasons. I’ve been under ridiculous expectations like that before and it’s not good for anyone. Also interesting to have ‘forget about that muggle’. I’d really like to know what exactly happened, though I’ll have further words on that as soon as I’m sure I won’t break out into caps lock freak out….

 

Theo is interesting. I understand that he’s trying to call Hero out on her sudden ‘I want nothing to do with you,’ (although, again, I don’t have full details as to the situation and I get this feeling there’s more and I’m missing something…), but like, wrong way to go about it, even if it’s abrupt and solely to do with her parents unneeded expectations. I do appreciate that Tom shows up. Though, like, the stalker commentary probably is more accurate than it should be. Don’t think it was coincidence that Tom just so happened to appear at that moment. Especially considering the petrified student found just moments later. Like, way to go under the radar Tom xD

 

And Wool’s Orphanage. Like, let’s just click a couple pieces of this puzzle together because we all know what the Orphanage means and that links Noah and Tom, which also links Hero to Tom already, and there’s some very, very interesting stuff happening. Like, pretty sure there’s a bigger picture sort of thing going on here, and the fact that I don’t quite know what it is makes me want to keep reading. Especially with Tom mentioning the drowning boyfriend thing with her name and how names are important…HE WAS TOTALLY MEANING SOMETHING MORE IN HIS SNEAKY LITTLE SIDE TALK! And he was acting totally bizarre and in his own kind of creepy manner…interesting character. (and there’s the caps lock I almost avoided xD)

 

Great chapter, again! Really loving this story!

 

-Mikaela

Author's Response:

Thank you so much!

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 18 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 2: Riddles in the Dark

Hiya! Back for another!

 

One thing I really, really appreciate about Hero is how real her character is. Like, she has all these opinions from other people in her head, telling her that she isn’t good enough and that she has to do better and be better, and it really causes her to struggle. She wants to fit into this perspective, wants to be perfect, wants to gain approval, and doesn’t realize she’s looking from approval from all the wrong places. She’s trying to appease her parents and is putting so much pressure on herself…it makes her so real, because struggles like this are real. And they are hard to deal with and it isn’t a matter of just not thinking about it. I also like her hesitancy with Tom, how she feels something that’s familiar, something that didn’t go well the last time, so she runs. She gets away as fast as she possibly can because she feels like she could never do it again. Also that whole dark thing. Like, sometimes it’s not a matter of being afraid of the dark, only what’s in the dark because a lot of things exist in it that you know aren’t real, but it’s hard to keep yourself from believing it. And like, I don’t even know how to explain how nice it is to have a character I feel like I can know that well, ya know?

 

It’s also interesting, this thing between Theo and Hero. I have guesses as to what it is, and why things are so weird, but like…I’m not quite sure. I also find it mildly amusing how Emory is all, there’s something off about it, and Hero’s like, nope, don’t think so. Like, Emory should know better. She should trust her instincts. Cause something is definitely off. And I don’t quite know what it is, but I am curious to see when that whole thing comes out. Because it’s just not something that can stay hidden…

 

I did enjoy Hero’s little freak out over the spider. I could only see it in my head, her freaking out and flinging herself backwards out of a chair. My dislike of spiders isn’t that bad, but I know what it feels like to have that variety of panic. And the fact that it’s Tom whose there to witness it and he can’t stop smirking….like, as much as his character terrifies me, he also amuses me greatly. He’s such a different sort and it’s interesting to see him in a different light (I definitely have not read many stories of Tom while he was in school, but I’m quite happy that this is my introduction to it, and that I may need to find more….)

 

Overall, great chapter! Looking forward to the next!

 

Mikaela

Author's Response:

Thank you!

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 18 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: One Day at a Time

Hiya!

 

I had to laugh when I realized that Hero was a story that took place before The Harder They Fall and that the series of questions I had about Finn and Hero could probably be answered if I read this story prior to continuing with the other. And it could answer questions about Tom. And Hero. So, here I am, going to work my way through this story before continuing with the other.

 

I’m absolutely amazed by how you’ve crafted this first chapter. You give just enough information to draw me in, enough to make me wonder about what happened over the summer, and why Hero’s parents are more or less ignoring her, what Tom has to do with things, what Finn was talking about, why Hero wants to avoid Theo…like, so much information, but not enough to actually explain what you’re talking about. It’s brilliant because it makes it really difficult to stop reading and write a review before moving forward.  And it makes me want to keep reading chapters because the things you’ve talked about are so dark and Tom’s character is so interesting and Hero’s family is well enough messed up…I love it.

 

 

That said, I’m not sure what else I can say about this chapter…you have a good dynamic of characters, giving enough introductions to them to make me interested in learning more about them, you give a good intro to the plot, which I’m excited to see where it goes…I’m not sure I have many more coherent things to say so…..onto the next chapter!

 

Great job!

 

Mikaela

Author's Response:

Thank you!

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 13 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 2: A New Day

Hiya!

 

So, definitely couldn’t help myself and started reading another chapter. And then finished it. And here I am. Reviewing it. xD

 

This chapter builds so well on the last one and I can honestly say I’m really getting to like Finn’s character. He tends to be rude at times (part of that I think is just the group he surrounds himself with), but his character really is complex. He wants to fit in with this group and hold this reputation as this tough guy who doesn’t need sympathy and just wants to be recognized and appreciated for what his family/friends think he should be, but at the same time, he is not doing well with the loss of his sister and at the end there, his feelings about this coup…he’s slowly coming to terms with the fact that the world outside of the safe confines of what he knows is so much more real and dangerous. I guess that sort of came out when he was talking about using the imperius curse in the last chapter, how he could only do it for a second with the rat…like, he wants to believe he can be this dark character, but I have a feeling he’s going to learn the hard way…

 

In the meantime though, I’m quite entertained with his attempt to make it to class on time, only to get paired with McCroy. I can only imagine how well this is going to go, especially after his father put the pressure on him more to get the opportunity with the ministry. Like, he honestly doesn’t seem too concerned with this class (or really any of them), and I think it’ll be fun to watch this unfold with his disgust for bugs.

 

Also love some of the characterization with Tom again. He’s such an intelligent character, and so convincing and calm about everything. His ability to just take things and smooth them over makes him such an intimidating character…it’s fascinating really, how well others know him yet they all still go along with him on everything. It just amazing you. I feel like you’ve really captured a complete view of his character…

 

What else am I missing…the conversation with his father was interesting. I’m curious to see where this Potter part comes in and how it shapes Tom’s thoughts, and how it affects things with Grindelwald. Also with Finn, taking the whole Ministry thing as a mission…as much as I don’t think he understands how his father wants to use it.

 

Leaving off here, I’ll share just a couple lines I found that stuck out in this chapter, whether because they amused me or are good indicators of trouble to come…

 

"You're just going to have to trust me." 

 

“The Blishwicks will rise, starting with you.”

 

"Find one. You have nine minutes."

 

Lovely chapter! See you next chapter!

 

 

-Mikaela

Author's Response:

Hi, Mikaela! I'm so happy you jumped right over to the next chapter, that's so exciting! And I'm happy Finn is growing on you, haha. I know it's hard to like him but I love that you do! Ahh there's too many nice things to reply to in this review! I really appreciate you pulling out your favourite lines, I love to know what people enjoy, so thank you! And thanks for this review!

 

Battleship: Hogwarts

Reviewer: AltraX Signed
Date: 13 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Left Behind

Hiya!

Every time I make the jump back into this writing, reading and reviewing world, I begin to wonder more and more why I step back and take a break from it so much. It seems like every time I come back into it, I find something that is so beautifully crafted that I never want to let go again, and this story is definitely high on that list of reasons to stay.

From the very beginning of this first chapter, I’ve been drawn in. I want to know more about Finn, about Hero, how their relationship worked, how it feel apart, how Finn is living his life, why his feelings and mood are so ingrained in every part of this writing…like, his character is introduced in a way that makes me feel like I know him and understand him, but at the same time, he’s a mystery. He paints himself as this guy who is everything he doesn’t want to be, everything he shouldn’t want to be, but he continues putting up the act and going along with it. He doesn’t try to fight it, as much as he may want to, and does a lot of following the leader, whether that be his parents or Tom. He also has all this inner turmoil which he just brushes aside, like he’s not affected by his twin not being present, not being the better half of things and doing things he could never. Like, honestly, I feel so much for Finn and I can’t wait to see more of him.

As Finn gets back to Hogwarts, you introduce more things that I want to know. Mostly about Tom and how Grindelwald’s influence ties into things. You obviously set the stage well, giving a good background as to what year it is and what sorts of things have been happening at Hogwarts, but you also introduce Tom, and the sort of power he already has at such an early point in his life. He’s full of ambitions and dark ideas but I could definitely see how it doesn’t come across that strong to others. Yes, he has an agenda and could be dangerous, but it seems like the only ones who really know that are the ones drawn into his tight knit group. Finn and the others know not to ask questions and when things get said that are out of line, they’re more prepared for the consequences than anything else.  It’s interesting, the sort of power Tom has, and I’m only more enticed to move forward in this story.

I was amused by how light hearted parts of this were, despite the fact the story has a rather dark feel to it. The boys joking about the wands and the names, pretending to sleep in class…the reminders that they are only teenagers in school, doing things because they have to. It’s a good balance, I think.

I also wanted to share two lines that struck something with me. So well poised and each a different image painted in my head…

“An inherited trait, the smile could hide even the most dangerous of lies, the most darkest of secrets, the most damaged of emotions.”

“But by the way Tom ran a finger over it lovingly, like he would do the head of a snake, you would think it was the most precious of treasure.”

Overall, this was wonderful! I cannot wait to dive further into this, to see where you take this and how things unfold. Until next time!

-Mikaela

Author's Response:

Hi Mikaela! Oh my goodness, that's so kind of you to say, thank you so much! I'm so happy this first chapter drew you in so much, and I'm happy you like Finn even at this point, hehe! Playing with the kind of power Tom has was one of my favourite things to do in this story! And I'm so happy you think there's a balance of light and dark. That was really important to me. Thank you so much!

 

Battleship: Hogwarts