Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 21 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 7: Move In

This sort of argument going on between Padma and Parvati was really interesting because I could honestly see both sides of it. Like I totally understood why Parvati was getting so irritated, but also could sympathize with Padma because she clearly wasn't being malicious or anything, just didn't want her twin sister to get hurt.

Parvati has a point when she reminds Padma that she and Lavender have lived together before, but at the same time, there were other people in the room as well then. This is much more intimate and might be much harder for Parvati...

But (and this might sound weird) I almost hope it does! This is a VERY slow burn and it's driving me mad! I'm more than ready for Parvati to just blurt it out at this point haha. And this new living arrangement is definitely going to prove a huge challenge to her in my opinion, so maybe we'll get that confession soon...?

I really can't imagine Lavender taking it badly even if she doesn't reciprocate (YET!)

I hope living with her best friend will be good for Lavender though, help her heal from everything she went through.

Another great chapter! I'll be back soon!

-Kayla    

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 21 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Teddy Lupin

This was a fun little story! Bill and Fleur is a pairing that I honestly haven't spent much time thinking about; same thing with Teddy and Victoire, though to a lesser extent. It was definitely interesting to read a story about both, even if we don't actually see Teddy at any point ahaha.

I thought your characterization was totally spot on. Victoire and Dominique were both such teenagers, but were both unique. I liked that they both sassed Bill a little without really being disrespectful, I think that's a sign of a healthy parent-child relationship tbh ahaha. And Bill and Fleur seemed like great parents, and I loved their playful back-and-forth and how much of a Dad Bill was ahaha.

The details in this were great too. I particularly liked how both Fleur and Bill noticed that Victoire was dressed differently than usual and that led to them realizing she was going on a date. And it really cracked me up when Bill was staring at the ceiling, and Fleur was thinking about how it's "a nice enough ceiling, as ceilings went".

Bill and Fleur were precious tbh, I already touched on this but I really did love their interactions. There was a lot of love there for sure and it was obvious in the way they spoke to each other here :)

Great work!

-Kayla

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 18 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Of Unicorns and Librarians

Hey Kapa! :)

 

I really enjoyed reading this! It's exceedingly rare to see depictions of older lesbians pretty much across the board, in mainstream media but also in fanfiction, so that was quite a pleasent surprise.

 

I really liked Wilhelmina. I think it was quite smart to start off with the scene where she helped the unicorn deliver her foals, then rushed off with the weaker one to make sure it made it through the night. That establishes her right off the bat as someone kind, helpful and caring, and also good at her job, which makes her instantly likeable. I loved how confident she was in her sexuality, that was also really refreshing.

 

I'm impressed by the thought that went into the unicorns in this story. I think the idea that there would be gay unicorns whose horns go leftwards is so funny and clever. Does that mean that female unicorns whose horns go rightwards are all lesbians? I hope so hahaha.

 

I really liked Irma Pince as the love interest, it was really cool to see her portrayed as someone who was romantically and sexually desireable. In the books she's definitely portrayed as someone kind of horrible and DEFINITELY not disireable - sort of an unattractive and mean old maid. I appreciated seeing her in a different light :) And I really appreciated that you had Will explicitly appreciate her old body and find it attractive the way it was (even more attractive than she would've found a young body).

 

Great work on this! It was a refreshing read and I loved the descriptions of the unicorns :D

 

-Kayla

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 17 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Footsteps in the Forest

Hey Sam! I saw you have a new story with no reviews and I thought I'd drop by.

 

This is honestly gorgeous. I'm blown away by what a powerful mental image the ending scene was - little Luna standing between a bright white unicorn and a pitch black thestral. Add in the symbolism of unicorns representing life and thestrals representing death? Stunning. I really liked that even though Luna didn't seem to know what a thestral was (not sure about the unicorn) and therefore wasn't aware of that symbolism, she sort of made that connection with the thestral representing her mother and the unicorn representing her father.

 

I thought Luna was so perfectly characterized here. I absolutely loved how she stuck to her guns with the "don't move if you're lost" mantra, even as the thestral sniffed and nuzzled at her, and then decided that she had been "found" by the thestral and therefore could move. The part that really stood out to me with her characterization was how she was not scared of the thestral and was worried that it would be scared of her, and also wondered if it would like a blanket upon feeling its cold breath.

 

Now I'm sitting here thinking about the symbolism of the unicorn and thestral distrusting each other at first and then accepting each other and both walking with Luna. Ugh! I just love this imagery so much! I can't tell if I'm overthinking it, but the fact that I've been sitting here mulling it all over for like ten minutes is definitely a demonstration of how powerful your imagery is here.

 

Great work, thank you for sharing!

 

-Kayla

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for reviewing this!

I wrote this really quickly and hadn't written in quite a while, so I can't say that I was the most happy with how it came back, so I'm really glad to hear you say that you liked it so much.

Yes, the symbolism is my favorite part, I just didn't meet the level of language that I generally hope for. So I guess I liked the concept more than the execution? Luna's a really challenging character, so I'm at least fairly happy with my charicterization of her and I'm glad you are too.

I think Luna did know what a universe was, but I enjoyed the parallel of being able to refer to them both on equal footing without reference to their names, or a name for one and not the other.

I am glad I gave you a lot to think about! I enjoyed the parallels and symbolism too, obviously.

Sam.

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 17 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Kaitlin, this is genius! This idea is so thoughtful and original, but I would expect nothing less coming from you at this point :D

 

Obviously we have extremely limited knowledge of manticores from canon, and there's really nothing to say that the information we are given (that they're vicious and violent etc) is necessarily correct. I definitely came into this story thinking that information was definitely true, and I admit I was very taken aback reading the summary because I'd assumed that manticores couldn't talk (on account of being mindless bloodthirsty beasts :P).

 

This subverted my preconceived ideas and changed my perceptions right off the bat, which I think demonstrates not only what a solid idea this is but also what a talented writer you are. You pulled off all the manticore's arguments and proof so perfectly and had me rooting for him! And I'm really, really impressed with all the details of manticore culture that you came up with.

 

I loved Kingsley in this, he was so measured and respectful, and that definitely aligns with how we see him in canon. Also, I didn't actually read the tags before I read this but when the manticore was talking about the young woman who'd come to his village I knew almost instantly it was Hermione. Which I personally loved. I'm extremely found of creature-rights-campaigner-Hermione and knowing that Hermione was backing this manticore definitely added a lot of credibility to what he had to say.

 

Oh, also, I loved the points the manticore made about wizardkind and their various misdeeds. Totally valid points. I especially liked that he referred to werewolves as being discriminated against for being ill.

 

I'm honestly blown away by this story, really great work! <3

 

-Kayla

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 17 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 9: Hope

Hey Mel!

 

I adore the idea of Charlie going into the Forbidden Forest to recruit the creatures that live there. It's not something that's explicit in the story (unless I'm forgetting something) but it makes so much sense to me, both in terms of Charlie as a character and in terms of the way the battle went down.

 

Obviously we see the centaurs and the Acromantula coming out of the forest in canon, and also the giants are mentioned there, but I really think it's realistic that Charlie would take the time to at least warn the creatures in the forest even if he couldn't convince them to actually fight with the Order.

 

The Thestral idea is really clever imo. But I couldn't help but think though that there would probably be people on the ground who'd see a bunch of people seemingly flying on nothing, and then the next second be able to see the Thestrals. Which is pretty much a huge bummer of a thought :( But it really is a clever idea, it would give them a great vantage point (as is explained in the story :P) and them having air support seems only fair when the Death Eaters had giants! I also thought the idea of the Hippogriffs helping in the battle was really unique and smart.

 

Loved the message of hope at the end. I thought it was great how Charlie and Arthur had very similar viewpoints re: Harry's death and hope. You could see the family resemblence there ;) Both of them were really well-characterized.

 

Great work!

 

-Kayla

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 17 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: The Dragon

Aw, I really loved this! Charlie was so endearing here. I like how at the beginning you explained how he was known as a tough guy, but he turned into an absolute sweetie when his opportunity finally came to work with some dragons! Definitely fits with how I've always imagined him.

 

I thought you did a really excellent job with his character. We don't see a lot of Charlie in the books, but we do see quite a bit of the majority of the Weasley clan, and I could see him fitting in perfectly there. I was reading thinking that he definitely seemed like a man who had been raised by Molly and Arthur Weasley. He was so caring and eager, and his excitement about finally working with dragons was palpable.

 

The whole interaction with the dragon was really well-done. Charlie's affection for the dragon was palpable and made me feel affectionate too! At the same time there was a little bit of tenseness, which I thought was good - even though, as Charlie says at the end, dragons are only deadly when faced when danger, they are still dangerous creatures who might respond badly to pain, and it wouldn't be realistic, in my opinion, for it to be totally fine and casual. It was so cute and a great touch when the dragon "thanked" Charlie in its own dragon-y way, especially cause I could clearly imagine how happy Charlie would feel!

 

This was lovely and I really enjoyed reading it! Great work :D

 

-Kayla

Author's Response:

Thank you for the kind words!

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 15 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 6: the forbidden forest

:O omg, a cliffhanger! I really can't wait to see where this comb thing goes and how Victoire is going to handle this.

 

I love how mischevious and adventurous Fred and Victoire are in this. Like I said, I've never seen Victoire portrayed this way before and I am LOVING it! I feel like in the books we never got to see these sorts of mischevious activities taking place because whenever the Golden Trio got up to some shenanigans, there was some kind of Serious Reason behind it, and we only really hear about (most) of Fred and George's antics second-hand. So it's really fun to read something like this.

 

I really enjoy the idea of Victoire being super into magical creatures. She takes after her Uncle Charlie :D I think you did a great job describing the banshee and how eery she was, and it was enhanced by how obviously freaked out Fred was by the whole thing. It's so weird how she was able to see the comb from so far away (and I mean, it's obviously super weird that it reappeared in her pocket).

 

I feel like we haven't gotten to see too much of Micah yet and I am eager to know more about him, so I kinda wish he had gone into the forest with them. But I can also understand why you would have just the two cousins go. Also... moms?! :D Does that mean what I think it means? I hope so!

 

I'm really enjoying this so far and I'm eager to see what happens next!

 

-Kayla

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 14 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: New directions

Hey Mel!

 

This was such a sweet little story. I really enjoyed your characterization of both Charlie and McGonagall. Charlie was super believable to me in his stubborness and his exciteability! To me it was so realistic that he had basically thought of one possibility and settled on it without even thinking too much about the practicalities (like what he would do when he got too old to play Quidditch), and was now almost offended that he was being asked to consider other options. I could absolutely imagine Charlie being like that.

 

Charlie's reaction to McGonagall's dragon suggestion made me smile so much. You did a really excellent job with that part and I could absolutely imagine him just lighting up with excitement and sort of being in disbelief that he could actually work with dragons! I just found it absolutely delightful, I was smiling so much as I read.

 

McGonagall was pretty delightful in this too! I always thought that she'd merely offered Harry a biscuit because she was feeling solidarity with him due to their shared hatred of Umbridge, hahaha, but I actually quite like the idea of her offering them to all the students she's having careers talks with. Perhaps knowing that she intimidates them and wanting them to open up a bit? She was so recognizable to me from canon, from her quiet and suppressed amusement to her immediate acceptance that Charlie wants to be Quidditch and her frank assessment that he would be able to do so, to her reaction when he asks whether a Care of Magical Creatures NEWT would be a waste of time.

 

Really excellent work, Mel! This was so sweet and brought a big smile to my face - I enjoyed it very much!

 

-Kayla

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 13 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 2: the magical menagerie

Hi Branwen!

Oooh, this was really interesting! I love the idea of a magical menagerie. I'd never thought of something like that before, but it makes so much sense. We Muggles have zoos, so why wouldn't wizards have an equivalent?

 

At first I thought that the Basilisk in the menagerie was meant to be the same one that Harry fought, as Fawkes gouged its eyes out, but then I remembered that he killed that Basilisk. I thought Victoire's reaction to it was very realistic; I think it's definitely a very human reaction to be scared of stuff like that even when you know logically that they can't hurt you.

 

Teddy and Victoire were so sweet together, and there's definitely something going on between them! I really want to see something happen between them, ASAP. Hahaha. I really like how last chapter focused on Fred and Victoire and this chapter focused more on her and Teddy. I think that was really smart. You've established these great relationships right off the bat and it makes me want to see more from them and see them develop!

 

Also, something is clearly going on with Teddy, so I'm really curious to keep reading and see if that gets revealed. I mean, I guess the locks and lack of Floo might really just have to do with his upbringing and everything, but the way Victoire took note of how many locks he had made me think it might be more... I guess I'll see!

 

I'm really looking forward to reading more of this! Great work, Branwen!

 

-Kayla

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 13 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: missing the hogwarts express

Hey Branwen!

 

I don't read that much next-gen, but I've been meaning to read more, and I figured your AP was the perfect place to start, seeing as you're completely brilliant and everything you write is great!

 

What I found so immediately intriguing about this is that I've never actually seen Victoire and Fred put together like this before. I really like the idea of Victoire being mischevious because I feel like I usually think of her and see her written as being a bit more like Fleur - firey temper sometimes, but pretty much perfect and a little bit prim. So I think this interpretation is really awesome and unique!

 

It was so much fun watching Victoire and Fred interact. (I mean... not watching, but you know what I mean.) They bounced off each other wonderfully. They had a super believable friendship. It was also really fun to see them miss the Hogwarts Express and actually do something sensible (rather than... yknow, stealing a flying car) while still trying to stay out of trouble.

 

When they decided to go to Teddy's I was wondering whether there would be some hints of Teddy/Victoire, and sure enough there were! So I'm excited to see where that goes, as I must admit I'm pretty fond of that pairing!

 

I think you've done a really good job with this first chapter, establishing your characters, making them super likeable, and creating these great relationships! I already believe that Victoire and Fred are the best of friends after just one chapter, which I think is pretty impressive. I really enjoyed reading this and I'm definitely going to continue!

 

-Kayla

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 12 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: The First Day

(transferred from hpff)

 

Hey Kaitlin, here for our swap!

So I know I constantly praise your originality, but it really can't be said enough how incredibly imaginative you are. All your stories are so different and many of them are concepts I've NEVER seen done before. That's certainly the case with this story. There's the basic idea - I don't think I've ever seen a story about the first female Auror before - and then there's the fact that the first female Auror is Neville's grandmother! That is just so wonderful and creative, and this story really highlights your imagination and your knack for fleshing out minor characters.

I think this first chapter is really, really well done. You've got me completely hooked already. The scene at the beginning was particularly well done - I could imagine the chaos perfectly in my mind's eye.

I'm very glad that Augusta is going to have an ally within the department (assuming that Bertram really does have good intentions). Especially after seeing the way she was treated by everyone from the general public to the M.o.M. security guard, it seems like she could use all the friends she can get - although she's certainly very tough, I can't imagine all that negativity and anger towards her would be very good for her mental health :P

There were also some really good details thrown in here, such as the mention of the Minister's discriminatory hiring practices.

I'm so excited to see where you take this! Please let me know as soon as you post a new chapter!

Hugs!

-Kayla

 

(transfer note: PLS continue this omg i forgot how much i love it)

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 12 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Her Favorite Holiday

(transferred from hpff)

 

WHAT.

Ugh I totally thought this was just going to be a nice, happy fic that would make me smile but instead I'm sitting here crying! That was so sad! :(

You did a great job of keeping your readers in the dark. While reading I had absolutely no idea that Molly was dead until the end. I think that was a very effective choice because the rest of the story was so sweet and that secrecy just made it an even bigger sucker punch.

When I say the rest of the story was so sweet, I mean it. i really loved the story of how Arthur and Molly got engaged - how his plan went all wrong but she (of course) said yes anyway. I loved the image of them lying in the snow and Arthur just blurting the question out. It all felt very true to canon.

I also loved the scene with Victoire and Teddy. It was so cute how affectionate Victoire was towards her grandfather and how excited she was to see him, and it was nice that Teddy also proposed on Valentine's Day - although there's an element of bittersweetness to it with Molly having passed away.

To be honest the ending was sweet too, it was just also sad. Everything Arthur said at Molly's grave was so touching. And I wasn't kidding when I said I'm crying :( It especially got to me when he said they were going to plant a rose bush beside the grave so she'd always have roses nearby.

Great work on this, it's just the right mix of lovely/sweet and heartbreaking.

-Kayla    

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 12 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Start Running

(transferred from hpff)

 

This was so creepy. The tone of the whole piece was so eerie and malevolent, which I thought was great. I think it was a really smart choice to write this in second person, because then the reader is sort of looking in from the outside on this twisted thoughts while almost feeling that they're directed at them.

 

I have no sympathy for Lucius Malfoy - he's pretty much an awful dude. But I would want him to face justice for the crimes he'd committed, not this sort of twisted "justice" for the "crime" of abandoning Voldemort. So I did find this quite unsettling, and I wouldn't say it made me feel sympathetic or upset for him, but I did hate to imagine those things happening to him at the hands of Death Eaters still.

 

I really commend your use of language here. This was so strongly worded and I could practically feel the narrator's hatred of Malfoy seeping off of the screen. It was so sharp and vivid. I must admit that I'm not quite sure who the narrator is - I was guessing that it's the Death Eater mentioned who was in the courtroom as Malfoy was testifying, but I'm not sure exactly who that would be. I don't think it's a huge deal though - really it could be a bunch of people, which I actually think is effective because it sort of drives home Lucius's unstable place in the organization and how many thought of him as a traitor and hated him.

 

Great work on this, Karen!

 

-Kayla

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 12 Jun 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

(transferred from hpff)

 

Hey Rose, here for our swap.

 

I hope it's okay that I decided to R&R this story. It has a lot of reviews already, but I saw that it had won first place in a challenge and I really wanted to check it out.

 

This story is so powerful. It's painful and raw, and it manages to be pretty tasteful in describing horrific abuse, which is quite the accomplishment.</p><p>I thought it was really effective how you sort of laid out the abuse cycle early in the story (tension - argument - assault - assuage - comfort) and then, when we actually saw an episode of the abuse take place, you sort of used those parts of the cycle as headers (? I didn't describe that well at all, but yeah).

 

Your writing was so evocative and I really had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach while reading this. Especially when Scorpius defended Corbin, to others or himself, even though you could tell he knew in his gut how completely wrong the whole situation was. From what I know, that's very accurate to what actually happens in abusive relationships, but it just was so difficult to read Scorpius going through that.

 

You did an amazing job of accurately depicting an abusive relationship, especially the isolation aspect (how abusers cut their victims off from friends and family). I was so relieved when Scorpius reached out for help and when Albus immediately responded. I also absolutely adored how Rose insisted on accompanying Albus, and that Harry went too - he may have a bad past with Scorpius' father, but that was something that Harry would absolutely do.

 

This was a really difficult story, but it had amazing moments of hope, and a such a hopeful ending. You really did such an excellent job on this piece, Rose.

 

-Kayla

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 30 May 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Children (June 1965 - September 1971)

Hi, here for our swap! Sorry this is a bit belated!

 

I think this is really unique because I don't think I've ever seen a fic before where Peter and Remus were friends before going to Hogwarts. I actually think that would make for a super interesting Marauders dynamic, because as it stands in canon/fanon you have James and Sirius who are completely attached at the hip, and then Peter and Remus, who obviously the other two care about but not on the same level, and who don't have that sort of special relationship with each other. So I think that giving Remus and Peter a pre-Hogwarts friendship could possibly help even that dynamic out a bit.

 

Also, Peter/Remus is really a relationship I've never considered before. Obviously it doesn't really come into play in this first chapter, as they're children, but I figured it was worth commenting on as it's a pretty rare pairing and that adds to the uniqueness.

 

I can definitely say that I've never read a story where anybody knows about Remus's lycanthropy besides the Marauders and the Hogwarts staff. To be completely honest, it did give me pause - why wouldn't the kids who'd found out tell everybody? - but maybe that will be explained in another chapter? It was really interesting to see Peter come to Remus's rescue like that - so different from how he came to be later in life. But I suppose he started out brave, to be put in Gryffindor.

 

I think you did a very good job of writing Peter and Remus as realistic children. There really wasn't any point where I thought that anything seemed to mature or too immature. An especially sweet moment was when they wanted to build a swing together and were raring to get started, even though they didn't really know how to do it. I can remember getting up to similar antics with my cousins as a kid :') And I really liked how the swing kept coming up, and you had that scene with Peter sitting on the swing after Remus had moved away.

 

This was a really successful first chapter, in my opinion, because it really left me wondering how this dynamic was going to continue to play out and what would be the same or different from other fics I've read.

 

Great work! And thanks for the swap! :D

 

-Kayla

Author's Response:

Hey, Kayla! Welcome! :) Thank you so much for swapping and for giving this a try, and sorry for the lateness of my reply...

Glad you like the idea of an early friendship for Remus and Peter. Like you said, James and Sirius are said to be particularly close, so it always made sense in my head that Remus and Peter would as well. And yes, I don't think anyone has ever thought about this ship, but I have to say that I've grown quite fond of it and I'm glad you are willing to give it a try. :)

Oh, yes... that's a really good point, which I should have considered but obviously didn't... Duncan and the other kids must have been at Hogwarts in the same time Remus had, year more, year less, so why didn't they confront him somehow, or tell anybody his secret? I honestly have no idea... Glad you liked Peter showing some Gryffindor bravery in here, he must have had some, right?

I love writing children, and I'm glad you found them realistic. And I'm also glad you loved the bit about the swing, too!

I'm glad this intrigued you so far and I would really love if you decided to come back again!

Thank you so much for the swap and the lovely review!

Much love,

Chiara

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 29 May 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Breaking Wings

Hi Brax, here for our swap!

 

This was handled really well. There's multiple sensitive subjects covered in this first chapter but each of them was handled with gravitas and I was really impressed.

 

I could kind of see, as the chapter went on, that Angelina was going to snap before they made it out of the house. Mothers are amazing and seem like superheros sometimes, but obviously they're human too and sometimes just can't deal with their children even though they love them. I love that you showed her getting frustrated and losing her temper and feeling bad about it but not being able to help it. It definitely made sense to me, since she'd been confronted with so much immediately after waking up and on such a heavy day where she'd probably be feeling emotional and a bit stretched thin already.

 

I thought the confrontation between her and George was masterfully handled, as she was so conflicted and so aware of how tricky it was. He lost his twin brother, which is a loss I think most of us would struggle to imagine, and she completely understands how much he is hurting; but at the same time, he is hurting her, and I think that in a situation like this it takes a lot of courage to speak up and say something about it. Because it feels so selfish, but at the same time sometimes you have to be selfish so that you don't break under the weight of somebody else's problems.

 

I really loved that you showed us her conflicted inner dialogue throughout the story. It really effectively demonstrated how she WASN'T sure of what she was saying, that she felt bad saying it, but that she literally just couldn't hold it all in any longer.

 

Really impressed by your characterization of Angelina. She was so aggressively human. She was a multi-dimensional character who had thoughts that were selfish or harsh but also clearly had the best intentions and loved her husband and children. That can be hard to pull off and you managed it brilliantly.

 

Great work!

 

-Kayla

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 30 Apr 2017 · Title: Chapter 2: A Light That Never Goes Out

Okay, I seriously LOVE this story.

 

This chapter was so wonderful. Everything about the characterization was absolutely perfect, down to the last detail. Like Lily automatically rejecting James when he asked her out and then immediately regretting it.

 

I was so endeared by James. His absolute shock, and how bad he was at hiding it, was perfectly in character and SO adorable. When he dropped the umbrella, got soaked, and didn't even seem to notice? Perfect. Probably my favourite moment in the whole chapter!

 

Tbh it cracked me up that James tried to touch her butt immediately after finally landing a date with her. Always pushing it, that one.

 

And aw, I love that he managed to regain his senses a bit towards the end there and showed some of the old James Potter ego, but in an endearing way ("It's the hair, isn't it?" etc).

 

There was a funny sort of vulnerability to him in this chapter. He was going back and forth between the teasing and the self-confident remarks, and then checking that he was sure he was understanding correctly and asking if he was dreaming. You struck the perfect balance, I think, and made him SO recognizable.

 

AND THE KISS!! AAA!! I am squealing! I really liked that in the end she was the one to ask him out and she was the one to kiss him, because it really removes any idea that she was sort of caving after years of pressure, or something :P

 

This story is lovely!

 

-Kayla

Author's Response:

Thank you so, so much, Kayla! <3  I'm really glad that you liked the way James came across here, because I was definitely trying to walk that line between cocky!James and awkward!James, because I just don't see 100% cocky 100% of the time as being realistic. I'm also really happy you liked the whole Lily-asking-him-out thing - I always thought that it was pretty clear that she did indeed like him, but I also felt like especially with how he's often depicted in fics, I really wanted to emphasize that it wasn't just a sketchy "oh fine" yes.

Thank you so so much!

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 30 Apr 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: A Light in the Dark

I'm going to take a stab at reviewing as I read this time, so here we go!

 

It's absolutely cracking me up that James pulled a Sickle out (or, an even more amusing possibility, scrounged up a sickle from one of his friends) just to use that "Sickle for your thoughts?" line. (I'm assuming it was just for that line based on him immediately pocketing it ahaha)

 

Poor Lily, feeling all broody on the last Hogsmeade visit before Christmas. I have a feeling I know what's the matter, but I guess we'll see.

 

As always, I'm so impressed with your characterization. James and Lily are both instantly recognizable as the James and Lily we all know and love. (I feel like I say this to you so much but) I love the way they bounce off each other. The exchange about Lily's hypothetical dead kitten made me giggle and it was so perfectly James.

 

Oooh. So the reason behind Lily's bad mood is not quite what I thought, but it is close. I was assuming she was feeling some trepidation about going home just because home is generally tense, what with Petunia; and she is indeed nervous to go home, but because she'll be meeting Vernon. (Sucks to know that she's definitely not in for a pleasant surprise :P)

 

Ugh I seriously love James so much here. It's great to see him as mature and caring, even though he's cracking jokes and acting pleased with himself when he makes Lily laugh. Their interactions really make me smile.

 

"You were right." "I know. When?" Ahahaha utterly perfect! As well as ""I mean, I don't think I've lost my sense of fun-" "You haven't," she said immediately."

 

I like Lily's basically immediate realization that she's developing a bit of a crush on James, and her telling herself off.

 

It was so cute and also really believable that even after sitting there with Lily and having a perfectly pleasant and quite extended conversation, James started blushing and grinning like a fool from a small kiss on the cheek.

 

This was great, I felt like I was seeing their relationship bloom before my very eyes. It was sweet and (as always) super well written. I'm on to the next chapter!

 

-Kayla

Author's Response:

It was definitely just for that line. James is the dorkiest dork to ever grace the halls of Hogwarts. :P

 

Well, maybe not quite the dorkiest dork, but still. He's pretty dorky, and I <3 him to death for it. James is legit one of my three favorite characters in the entire HP universe, so I'm thrilled that you think I'm capturing him well. <3

 

Thank you!

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 30 Apr 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: A Stone in the Forest

Oh my god, my heart is simultaneously breaking and melting in my chest. ;~; It's not a pretty picture.

This is so. Lovely. The scene in the books when Harry uses the stone and gets to talk to his parents always has me sobbing, but this just made me smile a lot, even though it was sad. I think part of it is that Teddy has time. He doesn't have to just get his advice and go; he gets to sit down at the end and talk to his parents, and get to know them a bit.

I feel like a LOT of the fics I've read that involve Teddy have had him be an Auror. I admittedly don't read a ton of next-gen, but it seems to be a pretty popular headcanon. I don't have any problem with that headcanon, but I really liked that you did something different. And it was a really sweet touch that Tonks absolutely backed up his desire to be a Curse-breaker and told him that that was what she'd wanted to do, after he'd been worried that she would've wanted him to be an Auror.

I have one tiny, tiny little quibble, and I think it's kind of a personal preference thing, but I thought I'd mention it: it threw me off a bit when Remus asked Teddy if Harry was pressuring him, just because of the way it was phrased really. I think it was the emphasis that threw me, because in my mind it read in a super accusatory way, and Teddy hadn't really said anything that implied Harry was pressuring him. I don't think Remus would jump to accusatory like that, it seems kind of out of his nature and contrary to his relationship with Harry. BUT I know that "accusatory" might not have been your intention so. Yes. Do with this what you will.

That minor issue aside, I really did enjoy reading this! It made me so emotional haha. You're so talented, so it's no surprise that you managed to write a story with sad undertones that left me feeling uplifted rather than bummed out.

Fantastic work!

Love,

Kayla

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 30 Apr 2017 · Title: Chapter 3: The Perks of Impropriety

Hi Branwen!

This was really interesting for me to read, because it's just so different from how I personally conceptualize James's parents, but like pretty much everything you write, I think it's exceptional!

Since we have so little information about James I's parents, they're so up for interpretation, so it really didn't bother me at all how different they were, I just thought it was kind of fascinating to read your version! I absolutely loved the way they interacted with each other and how Tristan seemed to sort of be warming Isolda up. I really enjoyed the playful tone of their conversations and the way that they affectionately teased each other.

I thought the detail about Isolda basically being one of the few girls in the community who wasn't insta-smitten with Tristan, because I feel like in the long run that definitely makes for a more healthy relationship, at least in most cases. I thought it was so funny that her mum had a high opinion of him, and then lost respect for him, which was the inverse of how Isolda felt.

I could definitely see these two growing even closer and their relationship thriving, and I could really imagine them being absolutely doting parents. And could see where James might get his mischevious nature from too tbh, what with all their impropriety :P and with Tristan's lighthearted demeanor.

I really enjoyed reading this and seeing your take on the Potters! Great job!

-Kayla

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 30 Apr 2017 · Title: Chapter 2: burning in the moonlight

Wow, this chapter is great! There's so much going on and it's all really interesting! I love how much you reveal about Johanna here and in such interesting ways. Rather than giving us a huge block of information about her backstory, you pepper in details that, while not telling us everything (or even that much) make her immediately very intriguing. I particularly liked the stuff about her mother never forgiving her for being her father's child, that really piqued my interest. And then it turns out she has visions! omg.

I really liked Johanna's characterization too. The way she was with Albus was great and I liked her interactions with Harry too.

This case she's been given is certainly mysterious. I can relate to just having a gut feeling that something's off, even if there's nothing concrete to back it up. I totally believe that Harry would trust that sort of instinct. And then it turns out that there's very good reason for that gut feeling after Johanna has her vision. But there's still so many questions... who is killing half-breeds and why?!

Poor Jane Ogden. She was clearly not a danger and seemed to be, from Harry's description, a good person. What an absolutely horrible fate to meet. :(

I really enjoyed reading this first chapter. I read it over on HPFF first before popping over here, and I must say I like this version better. This is really such a great start and I hope there'll be a new chapter of this soon! :D

Love,
Kayla    

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 22 Apr 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Okay I'm going to do my best to leave a coherent review but let's get this out of the way first: SIAN I LOVE THIS AND I LOVE YOU! This is brilliant and YOU'RE brilliant and so so talented and I seriously can't believe your insanely talented self wrote this for little old me! Thank you so much!

Now let's get this out of the way: WHAT. WHY :(

Omg. I know this was tagged angst and everything, and you had those creepy italicized sections going on, but I was definitely NOT expecting that ending :( I'm just going to live in denial and pretend that didn't happen. *puts fingers in ears* la la la la

No but really though, I'm a total sucker for wolfstar angst, as I know you know, so I did actually kinda love that you injected some angstiness into this piece haha.

Moving on... omg. Just omg. This is so PERFECT. Like I think I might cry with happiness over how perfect this is. (Did I mention you rock and are the best?!) You captured Sirius perfectly, Remus perfectly, and their relationship perfectly and I am just thrilled to bits with this story. I could just start listing lines that made me squeal with happiness but that'd be a long, LONG review. But just... all the times Sirius thought about how he wanted to kiss Remus. How often that happened and how JOYFUL it always was. His childish excitement and his "I'm the birthday boy and you have to be nice to me!" declarations. Remus and how thoughtful he was, how nervous he was about Sirius enjoying his present because he wanted so badly for Sirius to have a great birthday and a temporary reprieve from the war. HOW IN LOVE THEY PLAINLY WERE THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE THING! I could go on!

I do have to mention this part specifically: "It's a smile that Sirius loves, a smile that makes the scars and pain that line his face vanish, a smile that says you make me happy and I love you, too". The amount of love and happiness conveyed with this one line is astounding and I LOVE that you wrote "I love you too" rather than just "I love you". That made it so much more impactful because a) it's unusual and b) the implication that Sirius is simultaneously communicating without words that he loves Remus. It honestly gave me the vibe that Sirius is ALWAYS expressing that which idk if that was your intention but omg. Just omg.

Sian, you are an incredible writer, a wonderful WONDERFUL person, and such an amazing friend. I feel so lucky to know you and I really can't express how much it means to me that you did this for me. Thank you so much. <3

-Kayla <3

Author's Response:

Kayla! Sorry that it's taken me a ridiculous amount of time to respond to this, but honestly, I'm so overwhelmed and flattered by this review.  You're like the queen of Wolfstar and I was SO nervous writing this (I swear, I think I drove Kaitlin insane with it) and I'm just so, so happy that you liked it!

 

Ah, I really couldn't not include angst in this story, could I?  I know it was a birthday present, but also... I kind of had to follow canon, didn't I?  If it helps, it did actually make me a bit sad to write those parts when I joined it up with the rest of the story.

 

I'm so thrilled (no pun intended) that you liked the characterisation of Remus and Sirius in this story, and their relationship as well.  Honestly, I can't really tell you how terrified I was of writing it and having you read it and just go "omg what have you done, um, thank you", so I'm really pleased that they seemed realistic to you here and that their interactions and the way that they were obviously in love worked well.  I'm glad that you liked this story and I'm glad that I got to give someone so wonderful a birthday present that made them smile! <3

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 22 Apr 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Pine-fresh

Mel, first I have to say thank you so much! I'm totally blown away that you wrote a story for me and I really can't thank you enough!

Onto the story: omg. Just omg. I feel so many things about this. It's sad that they're sneaking around and Remus is so afraid of being caught, but at the same time totally makes sense considering it's the 1970s :P I do like to think that James, if he were to find out, would be absolutely fine with it, but it definitely is realistic that Remus would be nervous and not want to tell him. Also: "Orion and Walburga Black would probably die of shame if they knew what their son was doing now"... yes, Sirius's home life makes me sad to think about, but this line also brought me a little joy because I want Sirius to live his life and be happy and in love and who cares what his awful parents think about it. Haha.

"This was worth anything. This was worth everything." Such a powerful line. Gave me chills. Seriously. To think of them risking so much to spend time with each other just really gets to me.

This was a joy to read! And just as I was about to wrap this review up, you tweeted me that you'd never written Wolfstar before! I think I kinda knew that but not from reading this, just general knowledge I had haha. I would never have guessed from reading this! You did a fantastic job!

Thank you so much again! You're absolutely wonderful!

-Kayla

Reviewer: poppunkpadfoot Signed
Date: 22 Apr 2017 · Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Abbi! Oh my gosh! I'm floored! We really only just got talking and here you are writing a story for me for my birthday?! You are a wonderful, wonderful person. Seriously. I can't thank you enough.

I loved this story so much. I read and write so much Wolfstar angst and it was honestly a treat to read something so full of love and happiness and fluffy goodness! And birthday themed too!

I think you did a great job keeping it realistic by mentioning the war and everything, but using that to uplift their relationship and the specialness of their moments together and of Sirius's grand birthday gesture. And this one line, the one the story's named after - "We both have a lot of demons and when we're together, we slay them for fun" - SO perfect. I honestly had to pause for a minute and go "omg" and just bask in how awesome it was. And Remus's "Sirius smile" omg.

Also, I was really happy that James and Peter were supportive and their dorm room was a safe place for them. There are fics that make James homophobic (not in a violent way but in a skeptical/rude sort of way) and it drives me nuts! I was so happy to see supportive James! And Peter helping James and Sirius with their birthday surprise hijinks by asking Remus for tutoring cracked me up.

I loved loved loved this and I really can't thank you enough for writing it for me! It means so much to me, you and the other Gryffies made my birthday so extra special and one of the best ones I've had in a long time!

You rock, Abbi! <3

-Kayla