Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 12 Jun 2020 07:01 PM · For: yes, i'd do it again

Hi, I’m here for your challenge review. First I love the first few sentences. You dropped us right into the title. I wonder if it would be easier the second time? Perhaps only because one can become more desensitized by repeating a situation, no matter the horror of it. The next few paragraphs are well done to show us the depth of the wound and of their love. You can feel Will’s anxiety as more blood seeps out as both were written with lots of description. 

I love the line, “Hope was a dangerous thing, but it felt good to hold on it, if only for a little while.” It really helps the reader understand how a person can both fear and crave hope at the same time in such situations. I also love the mention of the river with cherry blossoms--a bit of beauty in such a horrid setting. 

Some parts were a bit confusing. For example, is he taking a message to Tom’s brother? Why there? Who was Colonel Makenzie? Is he Tom’s brother? Why did you mention him? Were they separated three days or six?

The ending was very sweet. I, honestly, thought the ending would only have Will alive. It’s nice to see that they survived and have (mostly) recovered and that they are always there for each other.

 

Great story! I enjoyed reading it. Results will be up soon

 

--Barbara

Author's Response:

Hi! I'm glad you enjoyed :D This was really fun to write, especially since I took the title and just ran with it, letting my poor 1917-obsessed brain handle the ideas.  Ah, I'm sorry some bits were confusing :( Colonel Mackenzie is the man in charge of the battalion Will had to get to, I mention him since he's quite important in the second act of the film. Tom and Will were separated three days, but trauma and recovering from injury skews one's concept of time a bit. Again, I'm sorry it was confusing! In the film, the ending only has Will alive, but I enjoy taking canon and chucking it out the nearest window. Thank you for the kind words and for hosting the challenge. Looking forward to the results <3