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You have amazing ability to turn a phrase and there are two in this one that jump out at me for their meaning. 1) He was prepared. But not ready. That is so many of us for so many things but Percy really exemplifies it. With his extreme Type A personality, we aren’t surprised (even the padded room, not overly surprised.) 2.) Percy was confident in his ability to be a father; what he questioned was his aptitude for being a dad. It was a bit sad how he felt like his father was a stranger to him, but I think he’ll get it. He’ll have disagreements with Molly like he did with Arthur, but he’ll always do what he thinks is best.
What a delightful chapter! Bill is the perfect one to keep Percy in check because he’s been there, done that and Charlie. . . well, everyone needs a sidekick when dealing with histrionic brothers. I love Bill’s hedgehog threats, but I really love the rules. You each and every one of the rules are because of something Percy did, threatened to do or looked like he was going to do. That comment about nothing bothering Mrs. Weasley explains how neuronic Percy is being better than any other sentence.
Bill does have point. At the end you will be married (unless you have Julia Roberts, Run Away Bride syndrome) and any wedding reception has got to go better than Bill’s.
You always have the cutest little ending. I love the idea that Percy is the one who breaks the rules by kissing her early. Nice job.
What a delightful chapter! Bill is the perfect one to keep Percy in check because he’s been there, done that and Charlie. . . well, everyone needs a sidekick when dealing with histrionic brothers. I love Bill’s hedgehog threats, but I really love the rules. You each and every one of the rules are because of something Percy did, threatened to do or looked like he was going to do. That comment about nothing bothering Mrs. Weasley explains how neuronic Percy is being better than any other sentence.
Bill does have point. At the end you will be married (unless you have Julia Roberts, Run Away Bride syndrome) and any wedding reception has got to go better than Bill’s.
You always have the cutest little ending. I love the idea that Percy is the one who breaks the rules by kissing her early. Nice job.
Ah, Audrey is the perfect wife for Percy. She knows how to handle his moods. I love her response to him talking to much (which he does) about loving his voice and then deftly changing the topic (with a reminder or two) You did a nice job passing from newspaper to conversation and back again wither humorous references and responses to the article. The article was exactly written as one would expect from The Daily Prophet. The conversation between him and Molly is hilarious. Poor Audrey just isn’t going to win.
I complete understand Percy in this one. After all there is nothing to beat the doldrum than a good analysis of patterns and it sounds like Percy has been analyzing this one down pat. I love the idea of prefects keeping tabs (because you know they did.) I assume it was the betting that annoyed Percy (for he would stick his nose up at gambling) but the tabulation of data would have been his forte (as well as the taking away of points.) I’m sure it breaks up the doldrums at least until Penny decided to “help” him with the rounds. Nice job.
Lol! Our poor Percy. We can see his anxiety through this. Here is a guy who is used to being A+ in everything but we all have our insecurities and ignorances and Percy’s are shining through with this one (I’m surprised he didn’t do research in back issues of Witch Weekly.) You added just the right about of tentative actions and reflection of his own communication. (Genius.)
It sounds like he did okay though and Penny does might helping to move his grade up from an E to an O.
Fun little writing showing how Percy manages one of the may firsts of growing up.
Ahhh! The softness and the way that people can just sneak up on you and it’s AUDREY so of course I love everything about this.
“You’d go for a stroll and at last you’d blink and realise you’d just followed her to the end of the Earth.”
Obviously, he’s okay with it. The way you used the prompt is SUPERB, it permeates this scene in so many ways, and all the stuff you wring out of it (pun intended) is so so good and draws out the characters. Masterful use of the rain! Percy, looking at Audrey, all drippy and awestruck… but like, in that inevitable way, like he knows this is it for him, and maybe he hasn’t put all the pieces together, but everything about her seems to fit in his life perfectly anyway. So so good!
Pix
Hi! Percy’s inner monologue is the best. Just, :chefskiss: I can’t imagine anything better. Percy, looking back on where he was and what he was thinking versus what he’s experiencing in this moment… haha! When you want to just slap your past self. Really hard. Excellent.
But how, okay? How do you turn THAT into THIS? And the dialogue is just on point, with his biting sarcasm, which I love. The whole shaking hands, and then the shaking hands AGAIN! I also love (beccause what’s not to love) the way Percy allows himself this moment of “what’s This?” because that’s what I’m doing, too. In my head. Because now that they know where each other lives, there’s got to be more. Right?
Pix
back for the project tempus linea event :)
so when i first read this, i was sort of torn between feeling sorry for percy that it doesn't work out and feeling sorry for cecily - but i think on a second reading, i'm much sorrier for cecily than for percy haha :P not because i don't love percy - and he definitely has some fair points about the statute of secrecy, etc - but because, well, percy doesn't really seem especially sad about the idea of it ending and while we don't really know cecily well enough in this to get to know whether it would really hurt her, still, it probably would a bit (even if she might be a little secretly relieved about not having to confront percy over all the Oddities in his life or his family)
as an aside, that whole point about the statute of secrecy is v true - how exactly could you have a lasting, solid relationship with someone who lied to you - or who you lied to - for years before you got married?? like, that's a massive red flag whichever way round you spin it #awks
and ahhhhh i love how like, legalities aside, it's just that their fastidiousness doesn't mix well :P it's such a percy thing yk - like i can't imagine george particularly cares which way round the loo roll is hung, but percy is exactly the person who would and it's just... so him for that to be a reason why a person doesn't feel right :P (but i do also agree on the books thing, that would annoy me too - i used to do that tbh when i had less books but now i have enough that not separating them out would be madness :P)
(also i gotta say, percy is not the mos creative person haha - like, fell off a bike is right there to explain most injuries??? :P foolish boy)
laura xx
me again for the project tempus linea event!! :)
you're really putting percy through the wringer with these yk that?? but oddly, i loved this - there's something so perfectly sad and angsty about it, the way percy's life has kind of spun into such a catastrophe, how he's so isolated and so lonely, the fear and the panic that's overwhelming him - and the way joy slots into it as this little spark of something nice. something ordinary, even.
i do kind of wonder if it's also something nostalgic - her accent being a bit of a reminder of home and the pre-war days and even the pre-family-split days, because i can imagine that for percy it would be so so easy to be driven mad with wanting to go backwards and stay in the past somewhere nice and safe :/
also - i think my favourite thing about this is how it's such a different kind of love or idea of falling in love - like, if percy loves anything about joy it's that she's kind to him at a time when no one else is. it's not exactly attraction or romance or anything, it's more a platonic love, but it's so good and it's so desperately what percy needs, more than almost anything else
and ahhh the way that he notices that she notices that he's not okay - but she doesn't ask (which is perhaps for the best tbf, not sure it'd be fair for him to just trauma-dump on the poor lady in the middle of her shift haha), but that it's kind of enough that she notices. ahh poor percy seriously :/
laura xx
hiiiii me dropping by for the project tempus linea event :)
ahhhh poor percy!! but yk all things considering, this one turns out surprisingly... light-hearted?? which i like tbh :)
it's ironic in a way that it becomes so nice - because we kind of know what happens on the other side, with harry and the weasleys and how they're all coping with percy not being there and with this rift in the family - but i actually really like that about it?? like, people can't be miserable the whole time and the way that percy sort of finds emily entirely by accident, that it helps him in some way to feel a bit better - however temporary it is - is kind of nice?? especially after his previous two christmases and the pretty abject misery of those :/
i really loved as well how even in this, where it's not the focus and not really talked about, you can kind of see percy's disillusionment with the ministry, when the minister insists on them both going to see the weasleys at home, the disaster that is and then the invitation to christmas dinner following it. it's super manipulative - but then the percy of book 4 probably wouldn't have seen it that way, yk?? so like. growth. we like growth :P
the note about trying not to make the lamp explode made me laugh. poor percy :P not where you want your focus - and not, probably, where emily wants it either haha :P
this is really surprisingly sweet!! :)
laura xx
Hi Melanie!
Oh my goodness, my sweet Percy. When you wrote about him feeling like he’s outside a club that he’s the only one excluded from, it really hit me. He tries so hard and I’m not sure that he’s ever found a place where he feels like he truly fits in.
It’s so true that Percy doesn’t do things by half. I’m not surprised that that’s part of why he has trouble doing something “casual.” Percy just isn’t a casual person.
I love how pragmatic Remy is. They’re totally fine with Percy wanting to move on, to the point that they’re trying to help him find the next person. Because it’s true: even if the next person isn’t THE person, sitting all alone at home waiting for THE person to fall out of the sky isn’t going to get you anywhere.
I loved Remy having the beer glasses talk to each other to show Percy how to go hit on the blonde.
Lmao at his trying to be a gentleman and Remy just noping out of it.
Yours,
Noelle
Hi Melanie!
Awww these two are kinda cute. In a snarky, kittens with claws kind of a way. I love how Percy wants both kinds of touch: sexual and non sexual. Sometimes a body needs both. I love how he and Remy have this stare down over whether or not Percy can stay the night, and how they are both clear that, while this sleepover will be allowed (this time at least) it doesn’t change their arrangement at all. This is not going to be a rom-com where they trip into feelings on accident.
And that’s okay, but it’s working for them.
Yours,
Noelle
Hi Melanie!
Why does Percy strike me as the sort of person who would stumble into an “frenemies with benefits” situation? Actually, I think you explain it best when you say that Percy isn’t really into random sexual encounters, but that he gets lonely sometimes and is looking for that thing you can’t find “alone or in a crowd.” I really love how you put that.
I guess Percy needs some sort of connection to the other person, or he’s just not that into it. And as Remy shows us, that connection doesn’t need to be totally positive.
I think Remy is right. Their instructions to Percy will make his subsequent partners very happy.
I love that Percy feels like this is a low pressure situation! It’s nice to see him feeling that way for once.
Yours,
Noelle
Hi Melanie!
Okay, so it’s a dirty secret, but I agree with Percy about Billy Joel. He is catchy, and there’s nothing to do about it.
Lmao Percy singing under his breath in the shower in case there’s a spider who might hear him.
So many kudos to you for making a wizard version of We Didn’t Start the Fire!!
“Slytherin a strange man” I’m dying!
Ope, and here is Percy getting caught and breaking the Statute of Secrecy with this cute Muggle girl hearing his made up lyrics. And now he’s distracted by her adorable bouncing curls.
I love how you string out their flirtation. This is a short piece, but you do a great job showing the passage of time over a few sentences.
I also love that Percy noticing Molly’s hair is what prompts her to finally give him her number. Because a guy who notices things is someone to hold onto.
But then the twist at the end: that her name is Molly, and Percy can’t deal with possibly having to say his own mother’s name in bed, is HILARIOUS!!!
And then he has to find that new record store. Good luck Percy (poor guy)!
Yours,
Noelle
Hi Melanie!
GET IT PERCY!!!
Can I tell you how much I love bisexual (or at least bi-curious!) Percy??
Andy is once again too adorable for words. I love how they sort of stumble into this moment. They’ve each noticed the other, and while we know Percy’s never done this before, we get the feeling that maybe Andy hasn’t either? I love their unison “fuck it” and “snapping together like magnets.”
I feel like this is probably the best New Year’s Eve Percy’s had in a long time. I hope he remembers it often with a smile.
Yours,
Noelle
Hi Melanie!
Congratulations on finishing this story!! I’m excited to get back into it <3
I LOVE how you write Percy’s inner monologue. The opening bit with Percy five years ago vs Percy today is hysterical. And of course fire alarms are the worst, and having to stand outside in crappy weather at inconvenient times of day waiting for the fire department to sort it out is so frustrating. Especially when the fire department is slow because they don’t have magic to help them.
Percy worrying he might set his trousers on fire trying to cast a warming charm, lmao.
ANDY IS TOO CUTE FOR WORDS!!! SOMEBODY SET OF THE FIRE ALARM TRYING TO MAKE TOAST AND IT’S ANDY AND HE’S ADORABLE AND I LOVE HIM!!!
Side note: I had a friend in uni who, like your sister, had crazy warm hands. She wanted to be a nurse, and it would be such a wonderful thing to have a nurse whose hands weren’t freezing.
Yours,
Noelle
AHHHHH! You finished the collection!!!!
“Expressing a great deal of angst over one thing or another…”
LOL!!! This pretty much sums up all of my daughters’ music choices at this age, I swear. And Molly being Molly, isn’t ready to play along with her dad, but Percy is patient, because I sense that he has a plan.
All the little things about this were so great, from the perks of Percy’s job in Transportation that allowed him to get the broom early, to Molly being so excited to ride the broom that she forgot to thank her parents for the monumental gift, and all the cool details about the broom itself, and how Percy’s warnings fell on deaf ears as his daughter kicked off into the sky. I’m sure she’ll figure out the acceleration on her own, Dad. Like one does. Lol!
No, really, this is the perfect scene for the end of this collection, with one of Percy’s children zooming into the sunset.
Congratulations on a wonderful story collection!
Pix
Oh Percy, I see now why you like patrolling on Sunday's... hehehe This is so cute. I genuinely did not realize it was leading to that while reading. I questioned for a minute how/when Penny was going to fit into this chapter, but I hadn't quite connected the dots before the answer was shown. I love this idea you've created that Thursday nights are apparently date night for all of Hogwart's older students. LOL I wonder how that came about - I would support Percy's research into this study. I like that Penny has the ability to get Percy to bend the rules a bit. It's nice to see him loosened up some, and nice to think that he really did have moments like this where he stopped being so tightly wound and could just be a young teenage boy for a second, you know? Lovely!
Hi, Melanie,
You write Percy vey well, but I stil have difficulty in liking him. The time is now many years after the end of the Second Wizarding War, but he has not softened any.
So here's Percy again, showing his benevolent side, but, as always, in control of what happens -- what gift Molly receives and when she receives it, and as she rushes outside into the garden, he follows her, frantically shouting more instructions to her even though she is quickly out of earshot.
The opening paragraphs of this scene, where Percy stays completely in his dad role, knocking on Molly's door with a "directive," give us a glimpse of ordinary family life in this household. Percy giving orders, expecting instant ("two seconds"!) compliance with his orders, argumentation when Molly objects to his orders, leaving her annoyed with him -- this is his idea of a suitable presentation of a gift to his child? To start off by making her irritated?
It is as if he cannot bring himself to do a kind deed without first saying something to emphasize his absolute authority in the household. The benevolent dictator, distributing largesse when it suits him, but still a dictator. Interesting that he had not let Audrey in on this decision, even contrary to what the two of them had discusssed earlier, but he's the boss; the decision is all his.
It is very kind of you to be willing to write Percy, warts and all. I could not do it, not as kindly as you do. But everyone needs their advocates, even Percy, so it is good that you do that for him. Well-written!
Vicki
Author's Response:Hi Vicki, I appreciate you coming back to this story. Unfortunately I think the person more deserving of criticism for the way Percy's behavior struck you here, is me and not him! Sometimes when I think I'm being tongue in cheek I fall short and it doesn't necessarily get communicated to the reader the way I'd hoped. Percy is actually meant to be poking fun at himself here, acting authoritative when it's all just a ruse for the fact that what he's really doing is indulging her with an unexpected surprise. (In fairness, "please go check whether those things laying on the living room floor are yours" is a very mild kind of parental critique, particularly when it turns out that those things on the floor are keys to a brand new car for you, haha!)
Something canon shows us, if we look past the conclusory judgments of the younger kids in the books, is that Percy -- whether reasonably or not -- worries about those he cares about. And he doesnt actually tell people to do things for no good reason at all. So it was a conscious consideration of mine that in the last few chapters here concerning his kids, he doesn't give arbitrary orders or criticize simply for something to do -- it always comes down to a concern for wellbeing and safety, even if maybe misplaced (e.g. struck suddenly fretting about Molly's safety on her new supercharged broom even if he rationally knows she's capable flyer, or being protective of Lucy who is not only starting to date before she's really supposed to, but also being involved with a student who is older than her -- and in neither of those situations does he actually get angry or demand they do something differently! Lucy flatly walked out of the room when he started his worried questioning, cutting off the conversation unilaterally, and he let her, which I'm not sure a super authoritative parent would ever allow -- mine definitely wouldn't!)
A sunset was such a wonderful way to close out this series! Like serious that final image is very reminiscent of the end of the film series, but the way you conveyed it was this glorious burst of color! Fabulous job there!
I do love the bit of wryness that exists in the exchange between Percy and Audrey! It's seriously the most adorable thing to exist! ^__^ The details of Percy's profession and the associated perks that come with it, like getting to preorder brooms and stuff...how cool is that bit of world building? I love that you always somehow manage to make even the most mundane of jobs in the magical world just seem really freaking cool?
Anyway, beautiful job with this collection, it's been a joy to read!
~ Courtney
Hi, Melanie.
Here's a review for your little story that, on the surface, is gently amusing about a bumbling dad, helpful mom, and anxious child. But I also found it kind of ominous (maybe that's not the right word exactly; 'disturbing' might be better).
Coached by his wife Audrey, Percy shows admirable restraint in not grilling his daughter about her new relationship with an older classmate at school, until his basic nature to be judgmental and to jump to concusions breaks through. You depict him as not being aware of the nature of his interactions with his children (I assume he's the same with both of them) and his needing to be constantly steered by Audrey away from the shoals of being overbearing.
And at the end of the story, when he says, "Nobody tells me anything," (an exaggeration, of course), he reveals that he still doesn't get it. He can't accept the idea that other people (even his family members) have a right to privacy, aand that judgmentalism can do more harm than good.
He is lucky that he has a wife who loves him and uts up with him, and that he has two children who are not yet alienated from him, as might happen when the girls get older and issues get more fraught.
Okay, Percy let's explore the reasons why people are loath to tell you things, and what you're doing to contribute to that situation. Would that be a conversation you would be willing to engage in?
There's "Nobody tells me anything about their private matters," and then there's "Nobody tells me anything about what I'm doing wrong."
I guess that's what's known as the big finish, eh? I chuckled for the last dozen or so paragraphs at least. You've done a wonderful job with your characters throughout this collection of short bits, and they've all grown in believeable and likeable ways. Thanks for a fun, if prolonged (ha! couldn't resist) read.
George
This was a cute idea to compare freckles with the constellations. This fun banter really shows how comfortable Audrey and Percy are with each other (and each other’s bodies.) It makes it feel like a fun, yet real relationship. I completely understand why you picked Orion’s belt as it made a great joke about leaving without his clothes, but was their meaning behind the other constellations? I looked up what they look like. They are some complicated star patterns. Percy must have a lot of freckles.
This one was adorable. First I thought the analogy of falling in love with Audrey to rain drizzle to storm was perfect and then you wrapped it up at the end with, not a figurative storm but a real one. Excellent writing.
Audrey comes across as kind and consistent, but flexible. (Something Percy needs.) When he was attempting to be a gentleman and put the wet newspapers over her head, I had to smile and Audrey handled it with aplomb, but kindness for his gaffe.
I love the look of Percy at the end, watching her saunter off. She’s now perfectly dry and he’s just staring and completely in love and completely wet,
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