Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 18 Feb 2024 10:57 PM · For: Nina

Hi, Ashley.

 

I'm always game for a rampaging dinosaur story featuring bureaucrats who think they know it all but are hauled up short by forces beyond their control, so this should be a fine tale.  I'll bet it would make a good movie for the action-film fans and lovers of scary scenes.  Ah, yes, the hubris of people who think they can create the biggest [dinosaur, ocean liner, computer network, etc.] and nothing will go wrong...  

 

Already we see that the fence isn't working properly, but I doubt that Nina has mentioned that to the deep-pocketed investors.

 

"...we don't want just steady [attendance].we want our park to keep growing and expanding."  Until what?  I tried to think of things that don't need to be improved or expanded.  Notre Dame de Paris (after the fire damage is repaired)?

 

Your writing is smooth and easy reading.  In the final section I did have trouble following the dialogue and wasn't always sure who was speaking, but I probably just need to read chapter 2 and then chapter 1 will be clearer.  So I will await chapter 2. 

 

Thank you for your start of this story which is sure to be exciting.

 

Vicki

Name: quill2parchment (Signed) · Date: 30 Apr 2023 09:21 PM · For: Nina

Hi Ashley, I'm here for our swap <3 

I love how we already get such a good sense of who Nina is and what her personality is like. She feels very detail oriented and very type-A, which is good, considering the demans of her workplace. 

The genetic hybrids feel like such a scary idea. It makes sense that they'd need to continue trying to up the wow fact and create these "cooler" creatures. It was interesting to see this business side of things, and how quickly these sponsors agreed to sign on to this new project. Nina really does know how to do her job well.

"Uh, some sort of malfunction with the fence." Erm, I'm immediately worried lol like, they made it sound like it was under control, but my paranoia is still extremely worried that this is how things will start to go wrong for them. 

Also, the "I think I'll survive" made me feel a bit scared, especially given the note in your summary. 

This was such a great way to introduce the story. I am already eager to see how everything's going to unfold (even though I'm a bit scared for everyone involved) and I cant' wait to see where you take us with this story. 

Thank you for the swap opportunity <3

Love, Quilly. 

Name: prideofprewett (Signed) · Date: 29 Apr 2023 12:12 PM · For: Nina

Hi Ashley! I figured I would stop by and show this story of yours some love for our review swap (my apologies for the delay)!

 

I really like the roles you've casted Nina and Inej in, in this universe. I think it suits who they are in canon and allows their personalities to shine through. I also find it really interesting that the Volcra is one of the genetically enhanced dinosaurs. It sounds like you've not only given it the name ,but dispositions that align with the monsters from the Grishaverse. 

 

The fact that the fence is malfunctioning definitely doesn't bode well for what's bound to unfold in future chapters. I wonder how Inej will use her expertise to avoid disaster with the fence system...you have me all :eyes: about that. Also, I wonder what the deal is with Jarl Brum's team. I am curious to read more about that!

 

Anyway, this is a really intriguing premise and I think this is the start of a really promising AU!

 

Great job!

 

<3 Courtney